As of this very moment, its 217. In the am. In the morning. I just walked in the door, flipped on the TV, sat down and fired up the laptop. On the TV is "Payback", from 1999, back before Mel Gibson displayed his anger management issues...
...remember when he was just cool? With "Braveheart" and "Ransom" and "Lethal Weapon" movies and even that crappy "Conspiracy Theory"... now, he does a movie like "Edge of Darkness" and "The Beaver" and no one gives a darn. Sad, really...
Why is it so late, you ask? Because I was sitting in a theater at midnight with my buddies Mikey and Tommy Mac, watching the glorious dude movie called "The Expendables 2".
The original came out in 2010, and I was so pumped for it, I even wrote a preview post... and the movie didn't disappoint. It was the 58th Coolest Thing of 2010, and I wrote, "...what is the movie even about? Some crap about a corrupt government and
the overthrow of a brutal dictator and so on and so on and who gives a rip. Seriously. It's awesome. If you like
real substance and deep plotlines, then don't watch this movie..."
And truly, the same line can apply to "The Expendables 2"... only more. And better. Most of the cast returns, with Sly, Dolph, Statham, Couture and Terry Crews, with Bruce Willis and Ah-nald making longer, more notable appearances. Jet Li only gets a little screen time, but we get a few additions to make up for Li's loss, including a surprisingly likable Liam Hemsworth and the bad-A chick Nan Yu, as Maggie Chen.
And lest we forget, the villian this time around, a chews-the-scenery Jean Claude Van Damme as... wait for it... Vilain. Yes, we have the villian Vilain.
The Expendables team find themselves in debt to the rogue businessman Church (Bruce Willis) and are sent to retrieve some valuable property before it falls into the wrong hands... but in order for there to be a story, there has to be some wrong hands around, which there are.
I'd go into more detail, but there's no need... lets face it, like the first one, you aren't coming to this puppy for a deep plot... though I will admit, its got a better plot than the first one. All in all, I enjoyed this one more than the first film, despite the lack of Jet Li screen time... perhaps it was the appearance of one Chuck Norris that filled the void.
There are a ton of nods to the old action films and cliches of the past, including Bruce Willis and Ah-nald mocking each other's most famous catchphrases ("Yippee-ki-ay!" and "I'll be back", respectively), and lots of laughable moments, though I feel like you'd have to be a little older, maybe late 20s, into your 30s and beyond to really get the jokes.
Each of the actors hold their own, and Jason Statham continues to be awesome, and you can just tell all of these guys look like they are having fun.
The language is actually not a huge factor, and though I'm sure there were some, I don't really remember any F-bombs at all. The violence? Completely over the top, almost to the point that it's ridiculous... not that I'd let Campbell watch it, but its a silly violence, not a serious violence, if that makes sense... it is Rated R for a reason, but its still just a lot of fun. Silly, nostalgic and fun. I rank it better than the first.
As Teber was teaching our Life Connection Class on Sunday--and has been for the past few weeks--about our faith and the reasons behind it (a great series of lessons, and a great presentation of this part of the Gospel) and it made me think of something that I wrote back on October 12th, 2000.
Its a little write up centered around a little tune by Nichole Nordeman called "Fool For You", a song that discussing that even though we may not understand why we believe it, we believe it and are willing to live the life of those beliefs--no matter the cost to our reputation or our image. (note: this song is also featured on the two disc "Love, Pride & Deep Fried Chicken: The Soundtrack to d$'s Life" collection, forthcoming).
I have taken it, give it a little editing twist, added and subtracted and now I simply call it "Nothin' But a Fool". Here goes...
There are times when faith and common sense do not align, when hardcore evidence of You is hard to find. I am silenced in the face of argumentative debate--is a long hill, its a lonely climb--they want proof. They proof of all the mysteries I claim, cause only fools would want to chant a dead man's name. Maybe its true but... I'd be a fool for You. Because you asked me to. A simpleton who's seemingly naive, I do believe You came and made Yourself a fool for me.
Nichole Nordeman rocks my face off. In the late 90s and early part of the 2000s, when I was deeply absorbed in Christian music (before it all started sounding exactly alike and I discovered podcasts and audiobooks), Nichole Nordeman was one of those artists that helped to change my life--dcTalk, Jennifer Knapp and Watermark also have that distinction. And from the album "This Mystery" comes a song that also changed my life. But first, an oddly connecting anecdotal story...
Well, let's begin in 1997... I had a crush on this chick, and I thought of ways to impress her. I'm not going to lie to you, I was a dumb dater then... what I mean by that is, all the stuff I know not to do now, I learned by doing it then and realizing how dumb I was... I'm lucky anyone would have me. Okay, back to the story.
So, I called this girl up, and sang... yes, sang "My Girl" on her answering machine. Now you sit there and laugh, but at the time it seemed like a good idea... well, if you must know, I didn't hear from her for a long time. Yes, it was dumb. And I'm sure I looked incredibly stupid... and foolish. But you know what, I liked her, so I didn't mind looking like a fool for her.
Not to many years ago, someone asked me about God. They were an atheist, and they asked me all sorts of questions that I, being a new Christian, couldn't give a solid answer. Truth-be-known, I'm not sure I could answer some of them now, but it was some of the old unbeliever favorites like "How can a loving God allow such sin in the world?" and "Why do you praise a dead man, Jesus?" and that kind of stuff. You and I both know, in our hearts, the answers to both of those questions, but its hard trying to relay those answers without your opponent having an open mind to the idea of Faith. So, I looked like a fool. But you know what? I like Jesus, he had done a lot for me, so I didn't mind looking like a fool for him.
I admit that in my darkest hours I've asked what-if, what if we created some kind of man-made faith like this? Out of good intention, or emotional invention, after life is through, there will be no You. They want proof of all these miracles I claim, because only fools believe that man can walk on waves. Maybe its true, but I'd be a fool for You because you asked me to. A simpleton who's seemingly naive, I do believe You came and made Yourself a fool for me.
Now, I know I'm not the only one who has done this... wondered what if?
What if... God really doesn't exist?
What if... other religions and beliefs are actually right?
What if... when I die, there is nothing?
Those questions you never acknowledge that you ask, because you want to be strong in your faith, but when you are really at a low point, Satan smacks you with the sin of unbelief. And if I am wrong in what I believe, when it’s all said and done, boy, will I look like a fool. But if believing makes me a fool, I love God, so I don’t mind looking like a fool for him.
But then I think about Jesus, who came here two thousand years ago. He preached to the masses, to the crowds, to everyone. He wasn't popular with the "important" people, he could care less that consorting with that woman at the well was deemed undignified and frankly, could give squat about the Pharisees opinions when he visited the low life tax collectors at their houses. He did it because he loved them... and us. They called him a fool. But he loved us so much, he didn't mind looking like a fool.
Unaware of popularity. Unconcerned with dignity. You made me free. That's proof enough for me.
We as humans are so prideful, if we lower ourselves down enough to look foolish for something or someone, then that means we hold them dear to us... you wouldn't be a fool for just anyone, I'm sure. But when you love someone, you make a fool of yourself sometimes... have you ever been embarrassed for worshipping or praising God in public? Its okay to say yes, because I have... but you know what? Praise Jesus, Hallelujah, pass the cornbread. Sometimes the deepest, most impactful worship you can have is when you just raise your hands, shut your eyes and let God move you however he sees fit.
For a time, I would even close my eyes and sign the worship music--I knew sign, I loved sign and for me, it was a glorious way to worship. Somehow, over the years, I became self-conscious of that and stopped. And that truly is a shame. Who knows... maybe during something I know (like the next time we sing "The Air I Breathe", which might be never, as that's a forgotten classic), I'll just let it go and throw my hands up. We find ourselves sitting next to John and Ashley Wolf many times on the front row of that side-section, so I hope I don't smack Ashley during my over dramatic sign for "...and I-I-I-I-I I'm desperate for You..." If I do, though, then we'll both look like fools. Fools for Jesus. And isn't that how it should be?
I think so.
I would be a fool for You, only if You asked me to. I'm a simpleton who's only thinking of the cause of Love, I will speak Jesus' name. If that makes me crazy, they can call me crazed, I'm happy to be seemingly naive. I do believe You came and made yourself a fool for me.
The Lovely Steph Leann and I do love our Sunday School Life Connection class at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship), as some of our favorite people are in there. When the "Young Marrieds" started in 2005, we had only 6 or 7 couples--ourselves, The Hawbakers, The Barnetts, The Watkins, The Shaws, maybe one or two couples I can't think of, a couple named Frank and Amanda Hanson, and another couple who weren't married, but engaged to be so within a few months (I think they subsequently broke up, but that's neither here nor there--they, and the Hansons, didn't return after a few weeks).
None of us had kids, and the majority of the couples in the class now either weren't even married at the time (in fact, Willis & Meredith Watkins were getting married later that spring), weren't members of the church, weren't even residents of the state, or some or all three.
From January of 2005, our class has exploded in size. Yes, its been 7 years and alot can happen in 7 years, but we started out being taught by The Robinsons, then Jason & Emmy Turnbow--the class blew up in size a few years later, and ended up splitting because it was just to flippin' big. The Lovely Steph Leann and I helped lead the charge into the great unknown of starting a new class out of the old class... and here we are.
Now, we are about 25 couples strong--and we are one of those lucky, blessed classes that at least 17 or 18 of those couples are really active. And we have enough kids in this group now to supply an entire Chinese gymnastics squad. And they are young enough too.
There is a three teacher rotation in our class at the time, which works pretty well... Big RyRy (Ryan Sherman), Tebershaw (Tebe Shaw) and winner of 2 BET Soul Choice Awards for his latest Moody Gazette Best Selling book "I Can't Even Walk (without you holding my hand)", JustFish, aka Justin Fisher. So far? Its worked out great... kinda like a Matthew-Mark-Luke thing, where you have three different personalities, three different styles and three different perspectives all on the same subject, this being the promotion and furthering of the Kingdom of Christ and its Scriptures.
Why just spill this info, seemingly random? Because I do a newsletter every week for our class called, funnily enough, The ShawFiSherman Times--and its become fairly popular at this point, full of important infomation, dates, events, birthdays and anniversaries, plus usually some thoughts on whatever at the end.
And, because I'll probably start posting some of those, I didn't want to have to explain all of this stuff everytime I mention our Life Connection class and its workings... so there's the scoop.
As part of my association, and training, with Distinctive Journeys in becoming a Disney Vacation Planner (disneyonadollar@gmail.com!), I have also been asked to contribute to a Disney Blog, made up of guys and gals who... well, who love Disney and want to talk about it. This is the first article I submitted...
The Lovely Steph Leann and I have been to The Most Magical Place on Earth many, many times, and have even made it out to The Happiest Place on Earth once last year. Our vacations usually last any number of days, but more often than not, we spend at least five nights there. Our longest has been a nine night, ten day excursion in which we were able to do so, so much, including tours and shows and other fun things.
Between the two of us, we have a wealth of Disney knowledge, and even more things that we think we know... but one thing is completely and totally assured--you will be exhausted. We've often joked that "we need a vacation from our vacation" because when we return home, we unload, collapse into bed and go to work the next morning, though the nature of my job allows me sometimes to take the next day off to recover. She, however, remains wiped out for days to follow.
Every trip we've taken thus far has been without kids of our own, and we are prepared to take our new family member, our son Campbell, on his first visit this November, when he'll be 11 months old. We swore we'd wait a little while longer, at least until age 3 or 4, so he could remember it, but we are we kidding? We probably would have delivered him at the Magic Kingdom were it an option. Perhaps in line at Splash Mountain--after delivery, we could do the parental ride-swap.
Anyway, as I help other people on their own vacations, I offer one piece of advise about traveling to the parks: Take a day.
Its so tempting for all of us to hit the World, get unloaded, toss on your pin lanyard and grab your tickets at head to the bus stop, or get the car pulled around and try to get there in time to get fast passes for Soarin', or to hop on Peter Pan before the wait time is an hour, or maybe to grab a safari ride before all the animals conk out in the mid-afternoon heat... and The Lovely Steph Leann and I are no different.
Like most, we have our days planned out weeks in advance, taking into consideration magic hours, dinner reservations, possible delays and constructions, and even when we want to meet Mickey and the Fab Five or the Pooh Gang or "If we do the Cinderella breakfast, we are likely to get Snow White, Cindy, Aurora, Belle and probably Jasmine, so maybe we can get Poppins and Alice at the Supercali, and try to see Rapunzel in between Small World before we get to Tomorrowland and..."
But we've learned in our planning to find one day somewhere in the middle of trip, perhaps the halfway point, or a day before or after, as our "rest day". When I say "rest", its not necessarily a "catch up on sleep, never leave the room" day... to the contrary, its a "sleep in past our 6am wakeup time, maybe to 730 or 8, get showers at our own pace, go to a late breakfast, walk slowly everywhere, and do NOT, I repeat do NOT, go to the parks" day.
This is our day to take it easy. By this time, we have already hit all the parks at least once, probably stayed til midnight at Epcot or past it at the Magic Kingdom, or gotten into Animal Kingdom or Hollywood right before 8am, we've had several early morning breakfasts and late night dinners and we've done lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of walking. And we walked alot too.
We found that day in the middle to be vitally important to our survival, a day when we can do brunch at Kouzzina (at Boardwalk, you have to sacrifice half a park day to do this anyway), maybe go down to Downtown Disney to scope out some things we want for our visit later that week, and, in the instance of our last vacation, we were able to nap in the afternoon before taking in La Nouba--instead of dashing off of Toy Story Mania, racing across Hollywood, catching the ferry or the bus, or running to our cars, getting to the hotel a few minutes later than we wanted, dashing around like crazy people looking for the outfits we were going to wear, "did you get your ticket?" "I thought you had it!" "Do we need our reservation number?!" "My camera is full, I need to delete pictures!" "I bought you a memory card" "I forgot it in the room!" "I still can't find my ticket!" kind of afternoon (let's be honest--we've all had one of those afternoons, right? Right.)
Take that day. And with your kids, its even more important... let them spend as much time at the pool as they want, or maybe head to DisneyQuest, or just resort-hop and spend some time in other kids areas they haven't seen. Plan for an evening show like La Nouba or Hoop de do Revue or a resort dinner at the California or O'Hana, so you'll have plenty of time to get ready.
And the next day, after you've had a day of rest, your feet, your body, your mind and your family will thank you.
I'm a Disney fan... its not any secret, to be honest with you...
(this post sponsored by Disney on a Dollar, in partnership with Distinctive-Journeys... for a magical vacation that you'll never forget, email disneyonadollar@gmail.com for all of your Disney travel needs!)
...but more than that, I'm also a Disney history buff. Like, I love Disney books, and I don't mean "how-to" books and "visiting Disney" books... I will tell you that my favorite is Birnbaum's Disney books, and the 2013 guide will be released on September 25th--and this year's should be amazing, with Toontown gone, Snow White's Scary Adventures gone, new Fantasyland over half finished, and so on...
where was I?
Oh yeah... Disney books. I have a shelf full of books read and to be read at this point, books on Walt Disney World history and the movie animation secrets and behind the scenes and Disney Underground and did-you-know and the like... and any book where Cast Members open up about their experiences also suck me in.
So, I picked up Chris Mitchell's "Cast Member Confidential: A Disneyfied Memoir", about a guy who drove to Orlando to escape his mundane life and family, gets a job at Disney World and becomes engulfed in the life and lifestyle of Cast Members. According to Mitchell, and I agree, its like it's own culture, almost its own species.
Mitchell gives stories and anecdotes over his year there, everything from the drugs to the make out sessions he witnessed, with both boy-girl, boy-boy and girl-girl, to the ones he participated in, especially with a fellow Cast Member named Calico. Yes, Calico.
He works as a PhotoPass photographer, and even tries out as a character, to disastrous results. Other stories share the details of his trip to Cuba, the parties that his gay roommate threw and of course, lots of park shenanigans... including some good loving in the upstairs of the American Pavilion during Epcot's Illuminations.
Could I believe all of it? Maybe. Do I believe it? No, not really. However, Chris Mitchell spins a humorous tale of all the magical, and unmagical, things that go on when the lights go down, and behind those doors that say "Cast Member Only" we see as we walk through the parks. It does read more like a work of fiction, though, which is why I have a hard time swallowing the majority of what he tells us. And at no point does he give you any actual park or resort information or behind the scenes stories, its all based on personalities and anecdotes.
It is full of salty language, many homosexual overtones and characters, descriptions of drug use, alcohol, and loose, loose women.
Do I recommend it? Not really. Again, its fun yarn at points, but the opening story with Tarzan sets it up as a little far-fetched. Just my two cents.
When I was a young tyke, in the midst of the kid stage, there were several shows I watched on television... we didn't have Barney or Dora the Explorer or Blue's Clues (the first two I am going to avoid at all costs when introducing educational programming to the young Campbell Isaiah)... no, we have PBS and Nickelodeon.
We had Sesame Street, of course, and The Electric Company, which I didn't watch much of, but there was another show I watched every day that I can't remember the name of... but it had a segment called "MathNet", a "Dragnet" type Math sketch with two Math Detectives.
But the bulk of my programming came on Nickelodeon... this was before "Nick Jr" and "Nick Kids" and the Noggin Network and so on, and this is before TV Land... this is when they had kids shows in the morning and midday, they had older kids shows until about 7p, then they went to Nick At Night, showing reruns of My Three Sons, Gilligans Island, Newhart and Donna Reed... then around midnight, we had infomercials.
During the day, I took in healthy amount of "You Can't Do That On Television" and Leonard Nimoy's "Lights Camera Action"...
SIDEBAR... I remember in 2nd grade, at Ridgetop Elementary in Austin, Texas, we were all in the class and Ms. Martinez asked us to name our favorite TV show, and I wanted to say "You Can't Do That On Television", but due to my seat in the class, I was one of the last people to have a turn, and Brian Bruner at about four chairs down, and as it zipped around the class, I didn't hear YCDTOT, and I was excited because me, at 7, would get to say this cool program that many parents hated, and I would look cool and then, four chairs down, Brian Bruner went and he said "You Can't Do That on Television!" and a bunch of kids in the class said, "I love that!" and "Oh, I forgot that, I want to change my answer!" and I was so mad because I wanted to say it and get that reaction so when it went to Gloria Gil, then Jesse Gomez then Pete the Stereotypical Big Kid in the Class, it got to me, and panicking, I said, "Lights Camera Action!", which wasn't a lie, I did love that behind-the-scenes-movie show, but I knew it wasn't as exciting as "You Can't Do That On Television", and I was so disheartened when from across the class, Becky Rocha said, "Oh, that show is boring"... and I just sank in my chair...
Where was I?
Oh yeah, Nick at Nite...
Anyway, my parents and I watched "My Three Sons", and once they had a contest for a week, saying if you could write down the names of each of Steve's dates in each episode and be one of the first people to send it it, you'd win a Nick at Nite address book. So, each night at 7, I labored through episode after episode (it was usually on from 7p to 830p, but only one episode had Steven going out on a date), for five straight nights, and wrote down those 50's type names like "Mildred" and "Esther" and "Dorothy". I wrote it on a piece of loose leaf paper and stuffed it in an envelope and addressed it--I don't remember the address, but I'm sure it has something to do with "Avenue of the Americas" in New York City--and sent it out... and a week later, I got my Nick at Nite address book! Word.
The daytime shows that taught me my education included "Today's Special" and "Mr Wizard's World", and the latter is why I'm even posting anyway.
Seriously... I actually wanted to post a video, but I ended up getting distracted in thinking about my childhood shows... don't even get me started on "Double Dare" and "Hey Dude"...
So, I found this video online, and thought it was awesome. Mr Wizard was a dude named Don Herbert who had a show on NBC in the 50s, but then revived it for Nickelodeon in the early 80s. Only producing 78 episodes, it aired three times a week, and in reruns until 1990. At its peak, it was the #3 show on the channel, and why not? It was cool. It made science cool. Even if Mr. Wizard was a curmudgeon.
And thinking back, I didn't realize it at the time, but now, Mr. Wizard comes across as a grumpy old man... back when you could be a smarty pants to kids on television and no one would say anything about it.
Warning... as you can see, the title of the video contains a crass word... I didn't do it, and I would have used the word "jerk" but there it is. And I can't change it, so please just avert your eyes...
By the way, I totally remember some of these episodes, like the spoon on the dry ice, and I remember many of these kids, like the Indian kid and the "...what?..." kid too.
Hope you enjoyed our little venture to Nickleodeon's heyday...
I would say this is from the category of "I didn't write it, but I wish I hadda..." but I can't really say that, because this is an obituary. A very good one. Found this online, and I thought Val Patterson's final words in death, discussing his life, was worth a post here on Clouds... oh, that we could all be so festive and fun after we die...
As published in the Salt Lake City Tribune from July 15 to July 22, 2012
I was born in Salt Lake City, March 27th, 1953. I died of Throat Cancer on July 10th, 2012. I went to six different grade schools, then to Churchill, Skyline and the U of U. I loved school, Salt Lake City, the mountains, Utah. I was a true Scientist. Electronics, chemistry, physics, auto mechanic, wood worker, artist, inventor, business man, ribald comedian, husband, brother, son, cat lover, cynic. I had a lot of fun. It was an honor for me to be friends with some truly great people. I thank you. I've had a great joy living and playing with my dog, my cats and my parrot.
But, the one special thing that made my spirit whole is my long love and friendship with my remarkable wife, my beloved Mary Jane. I loved her more than I have words to express. Every moment spent with my Mary Jane was time spent wisely. Over time, I became one with her, inseparable, happy, fulfilled. I enjoyed one good life. Traveled to every place on earth that I ever wanted to go to. Had every job I wanted to have. Learned all that I wanted to learn. Fixed everything I wanted to fix. Eaten everything I wanted to eat. My life motto was: "Anything for a Laugh". Other motto's were "If you can break it, I can fix it", "Don't apply for a job, create one." I had three requirements for seeking a great job: 1 - All Glory, 2 - Top pay, 3 - No Work.
Now that I have gone to my reward, I have confessions and things I should now say. As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971. I could have left that unsaid, but had to get it off my chest. Also, I really am NOT a PhD. What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn't even graduate, I only had about 3 years of college credit. In fact, I never did even learn what the letters "PhD" even stood for.
For all the Electronic Engineers I have worked with, I'm sorry, but you have to admit my designs always worked very well, and were well engineered and I always made you laugh at work. Now to that really mean Park Ranger: after all, it was me that rolled those rocks into your geyser and ruined it. I did notice a few years later that you did get Old Faithful working again. To Disneyland - you can now throw away that "Banned for Life" file you have on me, I'm not a problem anymore - and SeaWorld San Diego, too, if you read this.
To the gang: We grew up in the very best time to grow up in the history of America. The best music, muscle cars, cheap gas, fun kegs, buying a car for "a buck a year" - before Salt Lake got ruined by over population and Lake Powell was brand new. TV was boring back then, so we went outside and actually had lives. We always tried to have as much fun as possible without doing harm to anybody - we did a good job at that.
If you are trying to decide if you knew me, this might help... My father was RD "Dale" Patterson, older brother "Stan" Patterson, and sister "Bunny" who died in a terrible car wreck when she was a Junior at Skyline. My mom "Ona" and brother "Don" are still alive and well. In college I worked at Vaughn's Conoco on 45th South and 29th East. Mary and I are the ones who worked in Saudi Arabia for 8 years when we were young. Mary Jane is now a Fitness Instructor at Gold's on Van Winkle - you might be one of her students - see what a lucky guy I am? Yeah, no kidding.
My regret is that I felt invincible when young and smoked cigarettes when I knew they were bad for me. Now, to make it worse, I have robbed my beloved Mary Jane of a decade or more of the two of us growing old together and laughing at all the thousands of simple things that we have come to enjoy and fill out lives with such happy words and moments. My pain is enormous, but it pales in comparison to watching my wife feel my pain as she lovingly cares for and comforts me. I feel such the "thief" now - for stealing so much from her - there is no pill I can take to erase that pain.
If you knew me or not, dear reader, I am happy you got this far into my letter. I speak as a person who had a great life to look back on. My family is following my wishes that I not have a funeral or burial. If you knew me, remember me in your own way. If you want to live forever, then don't stop breathing, like I did.
A celebration of life will be held on Sunday, July 22nd from 4:00 to 6:00 pm at Starks Funeral Parlor, 3651 South 900 East, Salt Lake City, casual dress is encouraged.
Online condolences may be offered and memorial video may be viewed at www.starksfuneral.com
(if you head over to Starks website, it tells you that they have been overwhelmed by this particular obit, and it directs you to their Facebook page...)
Thank you, dear Clouds in My Coffee readers... thank you so, so much. I don't know at what time, but I'm guessing that at some point when I check this site tomorrow, the "visitors" number on the right side will read six digits... as in, 100,000.
That means that this here little website, and its randomness, its questionable talent, is boring design, its promises of consecutive blogs and movie listings and other things and its failures to deliver most of it, its pretty decent posts every now and again tossed in between a dozen random thoughts of whatever... has been visited 100,000 times.
I'm not even sure who reads it--some of my closer friends never do. But someone does, and to you, I say a big thank you.
Next stop? Post #900... then Post #1000... then Clouds In My Coffee's 10th Birthday... then who knows, maybe 1,000,000 visits?
So the big report came out today. I speak of the Louis Freeh, the former FBI director's, report with its findings in a 7 month investigation concerning Penn State University, namely the Jerry Sandusky scandel... its your basic search...
Who knew what, and when did they know it?
Who knew that Jerry Sandusky was abusing young boys, as far back as 1998, and when did these people know it?
And the report is brutal, essentially telling everyone that most people in the higher up positions in Penn State's athletic football program knew a lot, and knew it early. You can go to any site right now, Sports Illustrated or ESPN or even Deadspin, and you'll find a bunch of Penn State materials.
Bottom line is, Paterno's legacy is over. His son, Jay, has said that, and I'm paraphrasing, "my dad's legacy stretches over 61 years at Penn State. To say that this incident ruins that is not fair. He made some mistakes, but it shouldn't define his legacy or career."
Oh yeah, Jay? Nixon had decades of a successful political career, but guess what defines his legacy? A few months of Watergate. OJ Simpson had 30 years of a successful college and pro career, plus an incredible acting turn (have you seen "The Naked Gun"?), but guess what defines his legacy? Those are all the things you think of when you think of Nixon and OJ.
Jerry Sandusky, like it or not, is Joe Paterno's legacy. Those boys in the shower is Joe Paterno's legacy. The fact that JoePa knew a heck of a lot more than he let on, and that he did nothing about it? This is JoePa's legacy.
Its already started. Nike has already removed Paterno's name from their Child Care Center. There are rumors that his name will come off of Penn State's buildings on campus, and his statue is in danger as well.
And what about the NCAA? Here's what Jeremy Schaap, from ESPN.com, had to say:
If Ohio State can't play in a bowl game this season because former Buckeyes coach Jim Tressel lied to NCAA investigators about his players receiving free tattoos, how can Penn State play in the postseason after former coach Joe Paterno helped cover up the horrific actions of a serial child rapist?
If North Carolina can't play in the postseason this season because some of its players received improper benefits from agents and committed academic fraud, how can Penn State be eligible for the postseason after its former president and vice president, athletic director and legendary coach fostered a culture in which a pedophile used the school's facilities, sideline passes to games and bowl trips like candy to lure the young boys he molested?
And if USC was banned from the postseason for two years and lost more than 20 scholarships because the school failed to oversee the compliance of its most high-profile players, how can Penn State go unpunished by the NCAA when the university's most-high ranking officials failed to even do what was morally right when they learned young boys were violated and the victims and others were probably still at risk?
Officials are looking to rotate this statue, so it
will spend years and years looking the other way
I was undecided as to whether I thought the NCAA should be involved... but after hearing the facts of the report--and full disclosure, I haven't read it, I'm only going on the numerous news stories that say the same thing--I think the NCAA should come down on Penn State like a sack of hammers. At first, I thought that the NCAA shouldn't mess with a criminal investigation, one that may or may not have involved the football program, save for some of its coaches. Players weren't paid or received benefits, or illegal players used, or illegal recruiting methods weren't enacted... however, what we know today is that JoePa and his subordinates covered up all they could in order to protect their beloved football program.
And this directly involves the NCAA's jurisdiction.
SMU got the dreaded "Death Penalty" in the late 80s for outlandish and flagrant player activities, including gambling, shutting the football program down for over a year, and it took 20 years for that program--many times a title contender in the early 80s--to rebound... and its still nowhere near the national title picture, mired in the depths of Conference USA.
But nowhere in the SMU Death Penalty charge are the words "sexual abuse" or "boys" or "cover up of sexual abuse of boys". To me, under the table payments to players is pretty bad... but the lasting effects? Some people with mismanaged money, some former players who live with the stink of being a part of such a stupid plan. This? This is a million times worse--the lasting effects on these kids involved include memory of sexual abuse and all that goes with it.
Penn State football should be, in the least, reprimanded beyond belief, and everyone on the football staff, unless its possible to prove they didn't know anything, in the last 12 - 14 years should be let go. At worst, "the death penalty". Yes, its unfair to those on the team who had nothing to do with any of this, its unfair to the students and fans that never knew anything about this until it all exploded over the fall of 2011, and its unfair to the entire Penn State family and community...
...but... Jerry Sandusky brought down the program. And those in charge with him, including the winningest coach in Division I football, Joe Paterno.
And if that isn't "lack of institutional control", I don't know what is.
Alright, we continue our quest to blog every day in July with Day Nine of what I call The July 31... 31 blogs in July. So, even though its tough, I'm dedicated to making sure that...
...I'm sorry, what...?
...what did you say today was? The 10th of July...?
...um...
...awkward pause...
Well, crap.
Okay, we continue our quest to blog every other day in July, with Day Nine of what I call The July 31... 31 blogs in July, though with a day in between to give you some time to actually read my brilliant thoughts.
On with the show.
With two cars in our garage, we take our cars at various times... sometimes we take Red Robin, other times we take hers. We take mine, and we can listen to SiriusXM radio. We take hers, and it gives us a little more room, as we have a car seat in the back, though she just has regular, terrestrial radio.
However, on Sunday mornings, it doesn't matter which car we take... because when driving to Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) on Sunday morning, I always end up turning the station to Magic 96.5. The reason? At 9am, the start a reply of American Top 40 with Casey Kasem, from at least 20, many times 30 years ago.
Don't know how long Magic 96.5 has been doing it, but its a total delight to hear it, even if only for the 15 minutes it takes to get to the church from The Cabana. Its a 4 hour broadcast, so usually we can catch some of the Top Ten as we are headed from church to wherever lunch will be that day.
And if there is one thing I've truly figured out, its that music from the early 80s... well, it absolutely blew. It was terrible. For every great band with great hits like Hall & Oates or Fleetwood Mac, you had a dozen one hit wonders like Marty Balin, Champaign, Tierra or Franke & the Knockouts. All singing songs that I'd never heard of.
One episode had Rupert Holmes follow up hit to "Escape (the pina colada song)", a little ditty called "Him". It was terrible. And the first hit from Tommy Tutone... no, not "867-5309 (Jenny)"... instead it was a snappy little song called "Angel Say No". And it was terrible.
Heard this 1982 song from this chick named Patrice Rushen. Her song was called "Forget Me Nots", but when it came on, I was completely confused, as the beginning sounded just like a Will Smith hit, that being the title track from "Men in Black". Seems that Will Smith sampled "Forget Me Nots" for "Men in Black.'
Mind.
Blown.
Anyway, something I couldn't help but notice was that music in 1982 is a lot like today... a few gems surrounded by a whole lot of crap. Like I said, back then, Hall & Oates, The Eagles, Eddie Money, even Olivia Newton John, was still making great music. And a whole lot of stuff around it not only sucked, but was completely forgettable. I mean, I pride myself on knowing a lot about music and musical randomness from the 70s, 80s and 90s, but I have never heard of Charlie Dore and "Pilot of the Airwaves", or "Tired of Toeing the Line" by Rocky Burnett, and though I've heard of Boz Scaggs, what is "Jojo"? And The Alan Parsons Projects had more hits that "Eye in the Sky", and they both managed to stink?
And today? You've got great artists like Adele, Usher and maybe even Bruno Mars and Katy Perry, artists that we'll probably remember in 2041 while listening to Ryan Seacrest's Top 40 flashbacks on Sunday mornings. But surrounding them, you've got forgettable sound-alike artists like Lupe Fiasco? Rick Ross? What the crap is a Wiz Kalifia? And the fact that Ke$ha had not 1, but TWO songs in 2011's Top 100 of the year... oy vay.
Sorry. Didn't mean to diatribe... but I still believe that 1990 to 1995 was the Greatest. Era. of Music. Ever. One of these days I'll defend that position, until them just assume I'm right.
The hard part of blogging 31 straight days is that when you right something that feel is pretty good, you are afraid people will miss it because they many not check it everyday...
The first lesson is... check it every day!
However, since I know that's asking alot... here's what you might have missed in the first 7 days of The July 31, my attempt at 31 straight days of blogging.
From the category of "I didn't write it, but I wish I hadda..."--from the geniuses of Mental Floss, its the story of the method to which I owned not only Huey Lewis & the News' "Fore!", but also Janet Jackson's "Control". On cassette, mind you.
If you grew up in the pre-MP3 era, chances are you had at least one go-round as a member of Columbia House’s mail-order music club. Who could turn down the allure of eight compact discs (or 11 record albums or cassette tapes) for just a penny? It would be stupid not to join up!
A few months of automatic shipments later, you probably ended up like a lot of members did: as a no-income 14 year old who owed Columbia House $47 for unwanted Sir Mix-a-Lot CDs.
Let’s take a look at a few lingering questions about the music club.
How did the Columbia House business model work?
The underlying model for Columbia House was a pretty simple setup known as negative option billing. Basically, once you sign up for a membership in a club or service, you start getting monthly shipments unless you expressly tell the club you don’t want them. Of course, you also get the bill.
Negative option billing has actually been illegal in Ontario since 2005, but it’s still legal in the United States. There are a few caveats, though. The Federal Trade Commission requires that any club or service offering a negative option plan must clearly and conspicuously indicate minimum purchase obligations, cancellation procedures, the frequency with which members must reject shipments, and how to eventually cancel a membership when they enroll new members.
The FTC really drops the hammer on any company that doesn’t comply with these regulations. In 2009 it reached a $1 million settlement with the online company Commerce Planet, which had been offering a “free” online auction kit while also signing customers up for a recurring $59.95 “online supplier” program.
How did Columbia House make any money while giving away so much music?
Columbia House and competitor BMG brought in a tons of gross revenue — as late as 2000, the two companies were grossing $1.5 billion a year. But even with negative option billing bringing in cash from club members who forgot to return their rejection forms, Columbia House operated on a seemingly tight margin.
Columbia House and BMG had some fairly clever ways to save cash, though. Until 2006, the record companies had never actually secured written licenses to distribute the records it sent to club members.
Instead, the clubs saved the hassle (and the expense) by paying most publishers 75% of the standard royalties set by copyright law. The clubs argued that since the publishers were cashing their discounted checks, they were submitting to “implied” licenses.
Music publishers didn’t love this arrangement, but for decades it was pretty tough to fight back against the mail-order clubs. As some of the biggest pre-Internet retailers, the clubs held enormous power over the music market. According to a 2006 Billboard article, if a publisher complained, the clubs would simply stop carrying their records.
On top of that, the clubs generally weren’t buying their records from labels and then selling them. Instead, the clubs would acquire the master tapes of records and press their own copies on the cheap.
Moreover, remember those “bonus” or “free” records you got for signing up for the clubs? The clubs generally didn’t pay any royalties at all on those, which further slashed their costs.
In the end, all these little factors saved a ton of money. In his 2004 book The Recording Industry, Geoffrey P. Hull took a look at the economics of the clubs. He estimated that the cost to the clubs of a “free” disc was only around $1.50, while a disc sold at full price cost the club anywhere from $3.20 to $5.50. Hull did the math and realized that even if only one of every three discs a club distributed sold at the $16 list price, the club would still end up making a margin of around $7.20 on each sold disc. Hull explains that retail stores were hard pressed to make a margin of even $6.50 per sold disc, so it’s easy to see how the clubs stayed afloat even with their massive marketing and advertising costs.
Did anyone really, really take advantage of those introductory offers?
Joseph Parvin of Lawrenceville, NJ, was undoubtedly the patron saint of anyone who ever wanted to stick it to a music club for receiving an unwanted record.
In March 2000, the 60-year-old Parvin admitted that he had used 16 post office boxes and his own home address to fleece Columbia House and BMG out of 26,554 discs during a five-year span in the 90s. He pleaded guilty to a single count of mail fraud.
Oddly, the New York Times story on Parvin's plea included a story of another scammer who was nearly as prolific. Just five months earlier, David Russo pleaded guilty to stockpiling 22,000 CDs using a similar scheme. He then sold the booty at flea markets.
What about Columbia House's old rival, BMG?
This may come as a shock to your circa-1994 self, but Columbia House and BMG are part of the same company now. In 2002, Columbia House's then owners, Sony and AOL Tim Warner, sold a majority stake of the company to the Blackstone Group... Sony and AOL maintained a 15% share between them.
In 2005, Blackstone again flipped Columbia House to the German media giant Bertelsmann, the owner of BMG, for a reported $400 million. After a series of further transactions, Columbia House is now situated in the portfolio of Direct Brands, Inc., a direct marketer whose other holdings include the Book-of-the-Month Club.
Can I still order music from Columbia House?
You’re about two years too late. The merged version of Columbia House and BMG, the BMG Music Group, quit selling music on June 30, 2009. (Apparently digital music wasn’t just some silly fad.) Direct Brands still operates a business under the Columbia House name, but don’t expect the latest music to show up at your door. The revamped company sells DVDs and Blu-Ray discs.
* * *
Did any of you end up owing way too much money to a music club? Do you remember your first eight CDs?
