Idol Results and Other Quandries

So Jessica Hawbaker got her bracket in, so she's at 10 points right now with the other leaders. I'll be updating off and on all day tomorrow as the games start.

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So, here I am, watching the Idol result show. Am I obsessed? Yeah, probably.

8:02pm... Just watched

8:08pm... Is anyone at the same time intrigued, yet repulsed by Fox's new series "Unanimous"? A bunch of people in the same house, where one person wins $1.5 million dollars if the rest of the group unanimously agrees to give it to them. Wait, did I just agree to like this show? Someone... kill me. Send me Home.

8:09pm... Oh geez. I just watched the first in what will be a series of Ford commercials, featuring all the Idols. Chris was on guitar, in a campfire scene where the cast sings "All I Want" from Toad the Wet Sprocket. Very sad.

8:13pm... Stevie Wonder is now singing a song from his new album "A Time 2 Love". The Idols are on the side clapping along. Is it possible that they were threatened with expulsion if they didn't act like they were having a good time? Of course, I like this better than two seasons ago, when they had special guest judges Ashford & Simpson. I mean, was David Hasselhoff or Peter Frampton really that busy?

8:15pm... "Okay, Idols... I don't care if he belches and farts in the microphone... you clap and cheer like your life depended on it."

8:16pm... The three people who have the lowest number of votes... my guess? Steph's man Ace with the Ace Hair is in the bottom 3.. over Chicken Little.

8:17pm... Ace looks like someone told him "Um, Ace... you're not pretty." The rest of the cast, including the judges, are just stone faced... who knew?

8:19pm... How could Peter Gabriel sell out "Solsbury Hill" for a Cingular commercial? Is there nothing sacred?

Sidebar: So I'm watching the blog counter as I type and refresh--its not going up because I'm refreshing, which means someone is following along as I type this. Its happened a few times. If I truly do have fans out there, besides Jaci who loves me (this I know), you should comment sometime. Unless you think I suck. Then don't come back. =)

8:22pm... Steph's man Ace with the Ace Hair wearing a shirt that says "God Rocked Out". I don't know what to think about that.

8:23pm... Paris is safe (I don't want to like her)... Pickles, looking just adorable, is safe... T-Hicks will live to bend another day... how can Chris not be safe? (he is)... Now to Melissa, who should be in the bottom three...

8:24pm... Now to Eliott Yahmean... one of these is in the bottom three. And I was right--its Melissa. REMEMBER YOUR WORDS, CHICK.

8:24pm... Mandisa is safe (duh)... My Girl McPhee had better be safe... and she is. I didnt want to have to pimpslap someone.

8:24pm... Lisa Turtle and Bucky... Bucky. One will be in the bottom three (I'm guessing Bucky)

8:25pm... AND ITS LISA TURTLE?!?!?!

8:26pm... Ace looks stunned. The judges look stunned. The other safe Idols look stunned. I'm a little surprised that Lisa Turtle is up there.

8:27pm... So, Teen Vogue says that Fox's new show "The Loop" is "...a season must-see". Boy, let me drop what I'm doing now for this show.

8:28pm... Ryan just sent Steph's man Ace with the Ace Hair back to the bleachers to the other Idols.

8:28pm... Yeah, Chicken Little is trying to look mortified that he wasn't in there, but as the self-proclaimed Sex Symbol, he's pretty happy.

8:29pm... And Lisa Turtle is safe. I missed 2/3rds of the bottom three, but I got Melissa's exit exactly right.

8:30pm... When they show any montages of people screwing up, they always play Daniel Powter's "Bad Day". And during her montage, they are playing it now. How funny is this? "Yes, Melissa, our anthem for sucking is your song for leaving".

8:31pm... She's going to sing "Lately" again... will she hope her premontion misses, not her recognition?

8:31pm... Doesn't matter. Fox cut her off to quickly go to "The Loop". Not only did they NEVER show her in the auditions, they don't even give her a proper send off. Thats kinda funny.

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I just turned to Vh1. Remember the song "Gonna Make You Sweat", but C&C Music Factory, and that chick that screamed "EVERYBODY DANCE NOW"? She was all thin then. She's biiiiiiig now. I'm just sayin'.

Oh, this is the top dance songs of all time. And Paula Abdul is the host... and she's so reading the cue cards with the total "I'm here, I'm cashing my check, I'm going home and I don't give a rip" face.

If ever there was time to assemble Hal Sparks, Mo Rocca, MIchael Ian Black, Patrice O'Neal and Racheal Harris, it would be for the Best Dance Songs ever, especially since most of them are from the 70s.

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Just saw a commercial for the new season of Hogan Knows Best, where he's looking at feminine products. You know, the words "Dry Weave" and "Tampax with Pearls" should never come out of some mouths... The Rock. Sammy Jackson. Sean Connery. Hulk Hogan. I'm sad now.

And I'm not sure there has ever been a movie I've wanted to see less than my desire to see "Failure to Launch", with Matt McConaughy and Sarah Jess Parker. Not to mention that I have never thought SJP was even pretty, or even cute, I don't want to see Terry Bradshaw in anything unless he's parodying himself, like in Cannonball Run.

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Not only is E! Channel showing "101 Celebrity Slimdowns", its being hosted by Carnie Wilson. I weep for this nation.

Deuce Madness Update & American Idol Review

First, before we get to The Idol, lets talk Deuce Madness... after Monmouth's 71-49 thrashing of Hampton, here's where we stand:
Matt & Scott Latta, James Hawbaker, Barnie, Steph Dollar, DMOsborne & Jon Osborne all have 10 points each (getting their brackets in on time, plus getting Monmouth correct)
Tommy, Lori, Drew, Yours Truly, Mikey Nipp, Tyler "Sexy Beast" Campbell, Brad Latta, Jon Taylor and Jess Hawbaker each have 5 points, for getting their brackets in on time. Now, most of us picked Hampton in this second group, but Tommy & Lori went with Monmouth--but got their bracket in after tip-off. Jon didn't pick either way, and I couldn't open Jess' bracket, so I don't know what she picked.
Everyone else turning their bracket in from now until Thursdays tip-offs will start at 0 points.

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Now, to the other stuff... I'm talking American Idol, baby. The Top 12 is here, and ready to sing for us... like usual, I have to watch this on tape delay, because I have to work on Tuesday nights, but Steph already informed me of My Girl McPhee doing really, really well.

And here comes the top 12... Steph's Man Ace with the Ace Hair... their is Pickles, looking all sorts of good... Elliot Yahmean... Mandisa... Bucky... (Bucky?)... Melissa "No Airtime, No Love" McGhee... Lisa Turtle... Chicken Little... My Girl McPhee (whew)... Taylor Hicks.. Paris Bennett... and Chris Daughtry.

Tonight is Stevie Wonder Night. Steph already told me no one performed "Overjoyed", though had she not said so, I would have totally put that in Elliott Yahmean's or Bucky... Bucky...'s court. And of course, they show the "Stevie Wonder" montage... I still maintain that he's very happy, secretly, to be the last living blind legend, now that Ray Charles is dead. That being said, how cool would it be to sing along with Stevie?

Steph's man Ace with the Ace Hair is singing "I Do, I Do", one I'm not familiar with. He's got the moves, he's got the voice, he's got the looks... yes, ladies, straight from O-Town (or he could be), its Ace Young. His number is 866-IDOLS-1... don't you know the guy who works at the business with the number 800-IDOLS-1 is totally pissed every Tuesday night? At least 800-IDOLS-12 through 800-IDOLS-3 get a break after a while... 800-IDOLS-1 has to endure the WHOLE season. Back to Ace... Randy said "aight". Paula loved it, like usual. Simon? "Lucky for you, the audience is easily pleased." My thoughts? Eh.

Next is Pickles! If I had to write down "The 50 Things I Look Forward To Every Week", hearing Pickles (and watching My Girl McPhee) would be in there somewhere. She's singing "Blame It On the Sun", another one I don't know. I'll be honest... if its not on Stevie's Greatest Hits, I don't know it. She looks great, and I think if they ever had a Tammy Wynette or a Leanna Rimes Night, she would DOMINATE. I'll be honest with you, though... if it weren't Pickles, I don't know that this performance would interest me at all. Of course, it never helps when YOU FORGET THE WORDS!!! Pickles!! What are you doing????!!!! How can ANYONE forget the words to their song when you are in the Top 12 of American Idol? Randy says it perfect... it was like a non-event. Paula wasn't a fan, and Simon ripped her. Not good.

On another note, Ryan Seacrest has gone from "Annoying Idol guy" to someone I actually enjoy watching on tv. He's getting funnier, and he's really learned how to play off of what he's dealing with... of course, when you have countrified Kellie Pickler pulling up the top of her dress and talking about "fake eyelashes", its not hard. Oh, Pickles.

Elliot Yahmean is next... he's singing "Knocks Me Off My Feet", and they show him tearful when he meets Stevie Wonder. I really can't think of any celebrities that would make me cry when I meet them... perhaps if I met Ashley Judd, Steph would hit me hard enough to make me cry because of my staring. Anyway, I've grown to kind of like Elliott, despite his second row of teeth on the bottom. Randy said it was good, but not great, Paula loved it (of course) and Simon said that it was good, but didnt have the wow factor.

Ryan just removed Mandisa's shoes from her, because they were hurting her.. and she sings "Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing" barefoot, and does very, very well. Randy and Simon both agree, best so far tonight. Paula gushed, as usual.

Okay, so here's my thing... let's say Mandisa wins the whole thing. Who's going to buy her cd? I don't know a single person that will buy a Mandisa cd... I know lots of people who have Kelly Clarkson cds, a few who own Carrie Underwood and Clay Aiken, even a Ruben cd. But I dont think I know anyone who will buy a Mandisa cd, no matter how good she sounds. And what station is going to play her music? Maybe 103.7 for the first bit... maybe some AC stations, the kind that play Kimberly Locke's "Eighth World Wonder". All this is to say, she is not, and shouldn't win, the Idol show. She may have the best voice... but she's not the best person to win it and carry the Idol torch.

And neither is Bucky. Bucky. He's singing Superstitious (which is dangerous, because as opposed to the other ones that many people may not know, EVERYONE knows Superstitious) and has come out with his hair down. If Steph goes to Publix to pick up Kraft Cheese and Ace Young, someone else goes to the welfare line to pick up government cheese and Bucky Covington. That being said, for the first time in this whole season, I actually enjoyed his performance. Paula, Randy and Simon all agreed it wasn't the best vocals, but it was enjoyable. Weird.

And now to "No Love, No Airtime" Melissa "Wish she was McPhee" McGhee. They showed the video where she forgot the lyrics to "Lately", as she sang them in front of Stevie Wonder. Couldn't she just hold it up and say "Oh, gosh... they were written wrong!" How would he know? Anyway, she butchered the song onstage by forgetting most of the words... dear, its "I hope my premonition misses", not "I hope my recognition misses". Personally, I always think of the far superior Jodeci unplugged version from 1992 instead of Stevie's, but either way, she messed it up. The judges like her though.

Lisa Turtle is singing "Signed Sealed Delivered", which like "Superstitious" is a little risky... but she nailed it. This was my absolute favorite Lisa Turtle performance--she looked good, she sounded great, and she had fun onstage. Randy loved the end, Paula loved the song, and Simon loved all of it. Ditto for me.

Chicken Little just sang "Part Time Lover". I'm amused and frightened at the same time. I will now put jumper cables on my eyelids.

I think in Revelations it says something about "...and I opened the fifth seal, and there was Chicken Little walking like an Egyptian, complete with slight pelvic thrusts and wearing soft makeup, destroying a song he probably doesnt understand."

I can't get to My Girl McPhee fast enough.

And as usual, Katharine McPhee is worth the wait. I declare it right here... she has now surpassed Taylor and Daughtry, and even Pickles as my total favorite this year. My Girl McPhee just gave a rock solid, unbelievable rendition of "Til You Come Back to Me", and she looked darned good doing it, even though she was wearing some low cut table cloth looking thing. The judges loved her, with Simon even comparing her to Kelly Clarkson. Love this chick, I do.

Alright, Taylor, bring it. He's singing "Living for the City", a song that I wasn't a fan of originally... though his version will make me re-visit the original. Taylor's the man. You know what I love about this guy? Like Bo Bice last year, every single time he's on stage, he looks like he's having the best time singing... maybe he's nervous, but you don't see it. He's just having a blast. Randy loved it, as did Paula, and Simon liked it too.

I'm starting to really like Paris even though I don't want to because she annoys me... I don't want to like Paris... I don't want to like Paris... I don't want to like Paris... I don't want to like Paris... I don't want to like Paris... I don't want to like Paris... I don't want to like Paris...

With all these people getting emotional over Stevie Wonder, perhaps I'd feel the same way if I were on Blogging Idol and we were doing a Sports Guy themed show and I got to meet him. That might do it.

And finally, my boy Chris Daughtry. He's singing "Higher Ground", one of the lesser heard, but one of the best, Stevie songs. And Chris is jamming it too... apparently, the Red Hot Chili Peppers have a version of it (did I know this?) so he took from both the Peppers and Stevie to make a solid song. Randy and Paula gushed, while Simon said he could actually imagine Chris having a hit with this song. I agree.

Okay, top three performances tonight: 1) Chris Daughtry... 2) My Girl McPhee... 3) Taylor Hicks.

Bottom three performances tonight: 10th) Bucky... 11th) Chicken Little... 12th) Melissa McGhee (only because she forgot the words to the song). I predict Melissa goes home.

The Mission Statement III: The Final Chapter (today)

What an absolutely insane 2 hours.

At 10am, I was standing at the post office. I wrote checks totaling almost $300 for my passport, passport expidition (to get it faster) and for 300 stamps for support letters. Then, I stepped back to the work counter to organized Steph's passport renewal stuff, which would be another $127. Stephanie called me, telling me to call Bob Waters, the leader of the East Asia trip. Apparently there was a hitch.

Boy howdy was there.

Because we had signed up so late, the airline ticket prices were going to be more. Much more, in fact, like, $500 or more in additional costs. I told him about Stephanie, and he was excited that she was willing, and he stressed how important he thought it was for married couples to spend time on the mission field. Then he expressed to me some thoughts about the trip, and asked me to consider Steph and I going on next years trip. We both agreed that with raising support, it would be important to be good stewards of other peoples money & donations, and with an additional $1000 (or more) needed just for plane tickets, that might not be the best use of the money. I agreed, and made the decision for both Steph and I to step back and consider next year's trip. Disappointed, yes. At peace, yes. Happy that Stephanie was willing to go? Definately.

I called Stephanie, told her the news, which she was fine with. I mentioned that perhaps we could go to New York together this year, and she made a statement that made me smile... "Honey, if we are going to East Asia next year, I'll need to save my vacation and roll it over." Not "let's talk about it" or "we'll see" but almost a declaration of "well, we'll go next year. let's plan for it." Perhaps she was just speaking off the cuff, but I truly think she meant it.
And then I figured it out. This whole past week, with considerations for East Asia, with the prayer and conversations that came with it... it drew us closer spiritually, but more importantly, she now has a willing spirit towards missions, something she was hesitant to even discuss before. This whole thing with me and East Asia... was all for her.

When you make the statement "You never know what God is going to do", do you ever try and think of all the possible scenarios that could happen, if only to mentally prepare for them all? During the last five days, I've tried to think of everything... but from last night to this morning, I hadn't thought of any of this, much less prepared for any of it. And I love God for it.

And you know what? I think I'm going back to New York City this summer.

ps... big props to our friends, who have been nothing but supportive and extremely helpful in everything we've talked about, and almost seemed to be going to East Asia vicariously thorugh Steph and I. You guys are the best, and we love you.

pps... I went back to the Post Office and reclaimed all of our checks I had written, and even returned the stamps.

ppps... in a completely unrelated note, check out Dave's Sport Sites, which has (or will in about fifteen minutes) Scott Latta's Rammer Jammer blog.

Mission Statement Update

Oh, and lest I forget... last night, Stephanie dropped the news on me. God stirred her heart... and she's planning on going too, at least until God tells her not to go.

So... $0 down, $4000 to go

The Mission Statement

I love New York City. I do. I've been there three times, all three times on missions. The first was in 1998 with my campus ministry, the second was with a group from another church, and finally, I went last year with Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship). So, when I knew that Valleydale was heading back to New York this summer, I was all about it.

Only, God wasn't. For some reason, as the year began and we inched closer to our annual Global Worldreach conference, I didn't feel it. Irritating, actually. I felt as if, when you are willing, and you have the availability, why wouldn't God want you to go somewhere like that for His Glory?

And then I began to learn about another trip. This was was to East Asia, an overseas trip in June that my friends Matt & Ginger had taken last year, and it clicked with me. This was my trip. But East Asia? I mean... East Asia? For years I felt as if God was using me here, stateside, and never.... NEVER... felt the urge to leave the country.

Not to mention--this trip is going to cost me almost $2000 straight up, plus another $160 for getting a passport (rushed, even) because this is due in two weeks. TWO WEEKS.

Steph was very uneasy. And rightly so, here was her husband suddenly thinking that he might go around the world, a trip that had to be paid for in two weeks, money that already had been spent on bills, debt and such. Now, I had to come up with, through financial support and other means...

We discussed this on Wednesday... Thursday... Friday... and Saturday. Finally, we made an agreement. We would wait until Monday, continuing to pray together and separately about the trip. She had already decided that she would not go, it would just be me, but we would re-convene on Monday, sit down and have one final discussion about the trip. I told her that if she still felt hesitant for any reason on Monday, if she felt reluctant, if she felt likle that would be something that I--we--would not do. And I wouldn't blame it on her, I just wanted both of us to be on the same page with this, because I knew if I went, I would have her support either way--I just wanted her complete peace about it.

This morning, Sunday, after church, she tugged on my arm and simply said "Hey, if this is something you still feel called to do, then do it. I'm with you." And there you go. I'm going to East Asia.

Now, after an afternoon to nap on it (overnapping and missing the "closing" ceremonies of the Global Fellowship) and think about it, its sinking in. I'm going to East Asia.

Wow.

And as I wrap up my list for support, and get ready to churn out about 100 letters for help, I am getting fired up. I'm going to get to watch God fly like a whirlwind through this, first watching the money come in then watching him mold my heart and the hearts of the team.

I figure the trip cost $1850, the passport will be $167, and expenses will be about $250 or so. That makes, round up, about $2300 to raise in two weeks. So, $0 down, $2300 to go. Let's do this.

The American Idol Top 12

Welcome to yet another week of The Idol… the American Idol. And as weeks before, I’ll take you through each performance as I watch it, then the results. Now, its actually Thursday night at 10:52, and because our email has been spotty over the last week (a whole other conversation), coupled with the fact Stephanie and I were at a missions meeting tonight, I haven’t a clue as to who is gone—and I can’t log on to find out. So, we’ll be finding out right here, right now as we go.

My VCR is kind of sketch, too… or maybe it’s the tape. Its not playing very well, every few seconds the video is fuzzing out, even though the audio is fine. I hope its going to be okay with My Girl McPhee and Pickles. Maybe its because I recorded it on Lengthened Play to get in the Amazing Race two hour season premiere. Darn it.

First up is Paris Bennett. I don’t want to like Paris. I don’t want to like Paris. I don’t want to like Paris. And she’s singing “Conga”. I love Gloria Estefan. I don’t want to like Paris. I don’t want to like Paris.

Lisa Turtle is singing a song that I can’t remember who sings it, or what its called. All I know that the fuzz is killing me. Alright, she sounds okay. Fast forward. Paula, Randy and Simon all agree that Lisa should pick songs that fit her for being 16, not that sound as if her mum was choosing them.

I was going to fast forward straight through Melissa McGhee, because, whatever, but she did “What About Love?” from Heart. Not too bad, really. She looked like Ann Wilson’s body double from 1987, minus about 150 pounds. Randy and Paula loved it… Simon hated it, guaranteeing a plane ticket home for that. I would kind of agree with Simon.

Ryan just interviewed My Girl McPhee about the rumors that not only was she quitting the show, but that she was quitting because she was pregnant. WHAT? My Girl McPhee? What?? Ryan then said “Is there something we need to know about you and Chicken Little?” What? Chicken Little? I will now go swallow battery acid.

I just fast forwarded through Kinnick Sky. Who gives a rip?

My Girl McPhee took the stage. She does her rendition of “Think” by Aretha Franklin. The judges love it. How does she look? Let me just say that I will now go look re-read my copy of “Every Man’s Battle” and remind myself of my covenant with my eyes. Whew.

In the category of “Idol Artists I Would Buy an Album From”. In the previous four seasons, that would only include Kelly Clarkson.

This year? Taylor Hicks, Chris Daughtry, Pickles and now, after this performance, My Girl McPhee.

Yes, yes. I have contracted a case of the McPheever.

So, Ayla Brown. I can’t figure this chick out. She’s like… The Contestant Most Unlikely To Be Here. And Unlikely Ayla just came out and did a bang up job on Natasha Beddingfield’s “Unwritten” (not so sure she didn’t better the original). Randy and Simon both liked it, but want to hear more, and Paula is a flake.

MANDISA!!! MANDISA!!! She just came out and NAILED IT with “I’m Every Woman”. I mean, NAILED IT. She’s just hella good, man, hella good. Simon said it’s the only one he’d rewind and watch again (though I’m fighting the temptation to watch My Girl McPhee again, I’d have to agree). Brilliant. The other girls must hate her flippin’ guts.
And finally, there’s Pickles. I love me some Pickles. And tonight, I definitely love me some Pickles. She comes out singing “I’m The Only One” by Melissa Ethridge, a song that Steph just loves (I prefer “Come to My Window” a thousand times over, if we're talking Melissa Ethridge) and to me, she did better than the original. And she looked good doing it. And the judges love her, and Simon even called her a Minx, to which Pickles said “A mink?”. Classic. He then said, “I think I might prefer you to last year’s winner.” Carrie Underwood, as cute and talented as she is, has a CD out. I don’t own it. I would go out tomorrow and buy a Kellie Pickler album. Totally.

See, that’s the problem with Kinnik, Melissa, perhaps at this point Lisa Turtle and maybe even Paris… no one remembers them beyond a performance. Ayla is on the edge. Right now you’ve got Cutesy Fun (Pickles)… Sexy Hot (My Girl McPhee)… and Hella Good (Mandisa). Everything else is just somewhere there.

Now for the dudes.

And here comes Gedeon, singing Percy Sledge. I should only have to say “Percy Sledge” for you to know what he’s singing. I liked last week’s “Shout” better.

Just like Pickles, I would go out and buy a Chris Daughtry album. He’s doing a Seether song, and again, sounding good. I would agree with Simon though… it was a softer song, could be counted boring. Again, last week’s Fuel song was ROCKIN. This week… pretty good.

Chicken Little just admitted he loves Kanye West’s music, and it inspires him. He’s now officially a dork. I don’t know what he’s singing, but he sucks at it. Let’s be honest. Paula says “You make people say attention.” Yeah… a car wreck on 65 makes me pay attention. A kick in the groin makes me pay attention. Chicken Little makes me pay attention, as in “What the crap? Where’s the remote??”

Bucky. Bucky. The Welfare Bo Bice doesn’t have a bad voice… he’s just so weird trailer-trashish looking. He even has a twin. Paula says he’s “unpretentious”. Bucky.

Just saw a commercial for The O.C.’s final ten episodes. Somewhere, Michael Nipp is wetting his pants in glee.

Okay, so I’ve been calling him Jon Peter Lewis, Version 2.0 (JPLV2.0 for short), but Will Makar actually has a name. And Will is singing “How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You”. I didn’t like it. Randy didn’t like it. Paula, of course, loved it. And, rightly so, Simon hated it. JPLV2.0 will probably go home.

One thing I love about Taylor Hicks is that he’s just goofy. In a great way. He could have easily hung at The Deuce. He’s just so much fun to watch sing. And he’s singing another White Guy Soul Song, the Michael McDonald classic “Takin’ It to the Streets”, and I think he nailed it. And his White Guy Dancing is absolutely CLASSIC. I don’t know whether to applaud or laugh my head off. Maybe both. Paula did too, apparently. Randy liked it… and for the first time, I think, Simon liked Taylor. T-Hicks rocked it.

And now here’s Elliott Yahmean. I think he has a second set of teeth behind his bottom row. “Heaven” by Bryan Adams. Not even close. How do Randy and Paula love this guy?

And here come’s Steph’s Man Ace, with the Ace Hair. Yes, she is an Ace Highroller. I don’t know what he’s singing, but he’s singing it really high pitched and weird. Complete with beanie and all. I can see why she loves this guy, same reason I love Pickles and My Girl McPhee. Good eye candy with talent.

And now, we pop in the Idol Results… remember, I don’t know who got kicked off, but I’m guessing its Kinnik, Melissa, Bucky and JPLV2.0.

Just like last season, Ryan Seacrest points to 12 empty seats—seats that will be filled with this year’s American Idol Top 12. Up until now, they’ve been knocking off 2 guys and 2 girls per week, from 24 total to 16 left—they’ll drop 2 guys and 2 girls tonight, leaving 12, which will then compete against one another, losing one per week until My Girl McPhee… I mean, um, a winner is crowned.

Bo Bice (the real one, not the Welfare Bo, Bucky. Bucky.) is singing. You know, I’m not that captivated with Bo… if he were from Topeka and not The Ham, I’d probably not be that interested. I’m fast forwarding.

And the girls are first. The chick with the lowest number of votes will be called out first. Lisa Turtle is safe for now. Melissa is also safe (for now). Ayla is also safe. And here goes Kinnik… dropped like a bad habit. I told you. And she’ll be singing whatever she sang on Tuesday—I don’t know, because I fast forwarded then… just like now.

Now here are the guys… the lowest number of votes. Chicken Little is safe. Gedeon is next… and is safe. And here’s Bucky. Bucky. He’s safe (again, for now). Elliott Yahmean is safe. And JPLV2.0 is gone. TOLD YA!!! But of course, this means that we’ll either have Elliott Yahmean or Bucky… Bucky… in the Top 12. Go figure.

Let’s go back to the Chicks… One more goes home, the rest goes to the Top 12. Paris is now in the Top 12, taking her seat in the Row of Silver Chairs. When asked if it felt good, she said “Oh, it do!” I don’t want to like Paris. I really don’t.

My Girl McPhee is up… and of course she’s in the Top 12. Looking hot as ever. Right after that, is Pickles. And she’s in the Top 12. Which means I don’t have to go pimpslap America for not voting. And of course, she hugs My Girl McPhee, her roommate, leaving Paris to try that side, “third wheel” hug. Awkward.

Mandisa can give her a hugh, though, as she busts up in the Top 12. Lisa Turtle is next, with two spots left. And she’s in. Leaving Unlikely Ayla and Melissa Whatshername. Oh, like you know it.

It cracks me up that all the other stations will preempt their programming (like ABC with James Spann) to deal with tonight’s crazy weather… but Fox dare not interrupt their cash cow. They keep doing teasers, saying “tonight at 9!”.

Back to Unlikely Ayla and Melissa. And Ayla gets cut. TRAVESTY!!!! Melissa McGhee is destined for a Amy Adams/Vanessa Olivarez fate—as in, one of the first ones out that no one will remember. And Ayla is about to cry onstage… and its making me sad. I really was beginning to like this chick! She’s like my friend Michelle Carr… so tall and thin, really talented and passionate and really, really pretty. I feel sad.
Stephanie always wonders how in the world they can sing when they are so emotional, and that its just wrong to make them do so. And Ayla’s voice is cracking, and she’s forcing smiles when she’s singing. I feel sad.

Okay, not so sad that I didn’t fast forward it.

The guys… Taylor Hicks is up… and in the Top 12. Steph’s man Ace with the Ace Hair (Steph being an Ace Highroller and all) is also in the Top 12. And of course Chris Daughtry is in it.

And unfortunately, Chicken Little is in. Sigh. There’s always one. Dork.

Elliott Yahmean is in the Top 12 (I guessed it when you saw where they were sitting, and how Ryan was doing the order). Leaving Bucky… Bucky… and Gedeon. I’m really hoping Gedeon goes through. And Bucky… Bucky… BUCKY makes it. How the? What the? And how did Crash win Best Picture?

And next week is the music of Stevie Wonder.

I call it right here, right now. Your American Idol Top Six: Taylor, My Girl McPhee, Pickles, Chris, Mandisa and Ace Young. There. I said it. Paris may make it, not Ace, but that’s the only one I’m willing it give on.

Starbucks, Toys & Other Ramblings...

So, here's what's on my mind today.

Yesterday was my Starbucks interview. I had to go to the new Starbucks training office over in the Collinade, and meet with "the panel", which turned out to be two district managers from Birmingham, and a manager from a store on 280.

Anyway, they asked me all sorts of questions about behavior, about leadership, about how I would handle certain things--they didn't want responses like "Well, I would do this if this happened..." or things like "In this situation, I would probably do..."

No, no... what they want is specific examples of "A few weeks ago, a partner and I were..." or "Yes, an example of that would be two months ago on a Friday, when..."

My problem was, I answered some questions, only to find out that my answer would have been better suited for the following question. That happened to me twice.

Never the matter, though. I got a call about the interview a few minutes ago. I passed. Within a month, I'll be moved to another store in about a month, in full Asst Manager training mode... and well on my way to having my own store.

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Vh1's "I Love Toys" is on the air, a countdown of the Top 100 Toys of all time. Classic. If you are under 20 or so, you really wouldn't fully understand this show, and I'd daresay anyone under 25 wouldn't get all of it. I'm talking Little Golden Books, Dungeons and Dragons, Uno, My Little Pony and more. Good stuff.

And while we're at it, is there anyone funnier than Mo Rocca? He absolutely cracks me up... plus, some of the "celebrities", like Chris Wylde, Amy Madigan... and where the heck is Hal Sparks? What else does he have to do? You can probably imagine lots of these people just sit at home and wait for Vh1 to call for the next show: "Hi, this is Vh1... we're doing a special on the Top 100 brands of balsa wood. Would you come join us?" "SURE!"

Is there anyone hotter on these shows than Debbie Matanopolis and Rachel Harris? Debbie is like the hot cheerleader you'd never get, because not only is she out of your league, she's also dating the Trent, the QB... Rachel is the great friend you secretly have a crush on, but won't date you because "we're such good friends, and I don't want to ruin that." These shows get better when Debbie and Rachel show up. Oh, and Mo too. Maybe i have a man-crush on him, I'm not sure.

By the way, you can vote for your favorite toys here. I gave my vote for Transformers, Wrestling Action Figures, Legos, the Viewmaster and Pictionary.

_______________________

Movies that I think are getting better the more times I see them: Erin Brockovich... The Rock... The Shawshank Redemption

Movies that I loved initially, but you know, just aren't doing it for me anymore: Waynes World, any Austin Powers Movies,

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My internet connection is going up and down. Is there anything more annoying than typing a whole bunch of stuff only to realize you can't post it?

I called the cable company yesterday. Through my conversation, I made a pitch to Charter--we have $20 knocked off our cable bill per month now, keeping all of our high speed internet and digital cable packaging. We signed the contract last March, giving us a whole bunch of channels plus broadband for about $100. At the end of this month, we would lose the digital channels, and pay for basic and broadband for about $85. Well, now we keep everything for $80.

The secret? I threatened to go to Bellsouth.

_______________________

How the heck did Crash win best picture? That's just crazy. I haven't seen it yet, but I will eventually. Same with Capote and Good Night & Good Luck. I will say, though, now I have no reason to see Brokeback Mountain, Syriana or Transamerica. I'm somewhat relieved.

The 2006 Academy Award Online Diary

Well, here we are... the 2006 Academy Awards are here. So, for the next four hours, I'll be keeping up with who wins, who loses and who gets the $25 gift card to the Rave Movie Theater, which goes to the person in the room who gets the most right. Right now, we've got Stephanie, Shawn, Mikey, Ashley and Ken Nipp.

6:50pm... Sybil,Dan and Drew just arrived.

6:52pm… Tommy & Amy just arrived.

7:03pm… Jon Stewart is the host. They are saying he’s not going to be too political… but we’ll see.

7:04pm… They are doing a hilarious montage of previous hosts… if you’ve watched the show in years past, you’ll find this really, really funny.

7:05pm… His monologue has started. Lets hear the jokes… “Glad to see all the celebrities here… first time you’ve voted for a winner, huh?” Democratic joke. Very funny.

7:08pm… Great Clooney joke. He’s doing pretty well right now…

7:09pm… Stewart to Steven Spielberg: “Schindler’s List… now Munich. Speaking as a Jew, I can’t wait to see what happens to us next.”

7:10pm… “Raise your hand if you were not in Crash…”

7:11pm… “Walk the Line. Its just Ray with white people.”

7:13pm… “There’s nothing remotely gay about Cowboy movies…” and then they proceed to show a montage of classic cowboy themes that can be taken quite wrong in the gay sense. Its very wrong… but really funny.

7:15pm… Nicole Kidman—who looks RAVISHING—is giving away the first award, the best Supporting actor Award. I picked Matt Dillon in “Crash”, though I think the popular consensus is George Clooney in “Syriana”.

7:16pm… George Clooney wins it. I’m 0-1.

7:25pm… Tom Hanks in his semi-mullet hair, for “The Da Vinci Code”. I am really excited about seeing that movie… and maybe one day reading the book. Now, lets welcome… Ben Stiller. And he comes out in a green screen suit, the award for Visual Effects.

7:26pm… Stiller is cracking me up. I went for Narnia. And I missed it. I’m 0-2. Crapola.

7:30pm… Here comes Reese Witherspoon. Oh, I love me some Reese. And she looks fabulous! She’s doing Animated Feature… I’ve chosen Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the WereRabbit, and I can’t imagine this not winning… however, Howl’s Moving Castle is getting lots of buzz.

7:31pm… And the winner is… Wallace & Gromit! I got one! I’m 1-2!

7:33pm… Naomi Watts is wearing an entire box of Kleenex. And now Dolly is singing one of the nominated songs, “Travelin’ Thru” from Transamerica. All the girls in the room have just had a discussion on the fakeness or realness of Dolly’s boobs, and how they are staying so perky. Their words, not mine.

7:42pm… We’re back. Stewart is bringing out Luke & Owen Wilson to present Live Action Short. I picked “Last Farm”, which most people did. None of us know anything about any of these, so it’s a crap shoot. And the winner is… Six Shooter. None of us got it right.

7:43pm…. And now Chicken Little (no, the real one, not the guy from American Idol) and Abby Mallard doing the Animated Short Film. And the winner is… The Moon & the Sun. Crap. I’m 1-4.

7:45pm… The still pretty good lookin’ Jennifer Aniston giving away the Costume Award. Memoirs of a Geisha just won. And the joke is… she could have dressed herself a little better. She does look a little ruddy.

7:51pm… Here comes Russell Crowe. No phones. He’s doing a montage on biopics… Selena, Jim Morrison, Howard Hughes… what, no Confessions of a Dangerous Mind?

7:57pm… Will Ferrell & Steve Carrell… dressed in total freak face paint. Doing the Make-Up Award. Will Ferrell looks like a tomato, and Steve has on fake eyelashes. I picked Narnia… and the winner is… Narnia!! Yes, I got 2!

8:03pm… Rachel McAdams. Nice. Oh, and we just had our first political joke of the night.

8:04pm… Morgan Freeman is giving away the Supporting Actress Award. I picked Rachel Weisz (pronounced Vise) for “The Constant Gardner”, though it would be cool to see Catherine Keener pick one up. The buzz is Michelle Williams for Brokeback Mounting. Mountain. Whatever. She’s always Dawson’s Creek to me.

8:06pm… And the winner is… Rachel Weisz. I got four, actually.

8:12pm… Here comes Lauren Bacall. She’s like, 153 years old. None of us know what she’s talking about. Not sure she does, really. Something about film noir… she’s having trouble reading the prompter (Ashley says “she can barely breathe”). An interesting montage of Noir, though I only knew a few of the films.

8:13pm… Great parody of how actresses look crappy to win Best Actress (ie, Charlize Theron). Next up is Terrance Howard, who played a pimp in “Hustle & Flow”. He played a pimp, which is an agent with a better hat.

8:14pm… Documentary Short. I picked God Sleeps on Rwanda. I mean, its Rwanda. The Academy loves Rwanda, right? Right? Maybe? Right? Wrong. Some other crap won.

8:21pm… Charlize Theron comes out. She’s here to give the award to March of the Penguins. I mean, other films were nominated, but come on, everyone loves the Penguins.

8:22pm… And we were right—The March of the Penguins. French guys who can barely speak English, some crap about some treaty that expires in 2021. And here comes Jennifer Lopez. Don’t you have to be an actress to be here? She hasn’t been an actress since Out of Sight. And here is some chick singing some song from “Crash”. This is the song I picked… however, the fun part will be seeing “Hard to Be a Pimp”.

8:23pm… There is fire on stage. People are emerging. Wait… there actually is a burning car onstage. I feel more racially equal just watching this. Or sleepy, one or the other. Its leading to this discussion:
Ashley: I hate Tom Cruise
Nikki: Really?
Me: The best part about War of the Worlds is Dakota Fanning.
Shawn: I hated Crash
Me: Better than Munich
Michael: I liked Munich.
Which lead to a discussion about Michael Jackson in Iraq
Amy: He was wearing a burque
Ashley: His nose probably fell off.
Nikki: I like the monkeys on tv.

8:31pm… ABC just showed a commercial for the Miracles Something or Other new show, where they do miracles for handicapped kids or something. Here comes Sandra & Keanu, coming out to Speed music.

8:32pm… Art Direction Award… Shawn & I picked Memoirs of a Geisha, Nikki went with Harry Potter, while everyone else went with King Kong. Memoirs of a Gay Shawn. And the Oscar goes to… Geisha! Rock on!

8:35pm… Did you know that Sammy L. Jackson is in a movie this summer called “Snakes on a Plane”? I kid you not. I’m pumped for it. Sam Jackson is one of the baddest mothers in the world. He’s doing a little montage on groundbreaking films. Erin Brockovich, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Sting, Easy Rider, The Insider… all solid, great films. Why is Day After Tomorrow included?

8:40pm… Jon Stewart just introduced the president of the Motion Picture Association of America. And I think made fun of him. Kind of funny. As this dude is talking, I think some of the audience is going to sleep. I know I might be. Nikki: What’s he talking about? Ashley: I’m bored.

8:43pm… One question. What is Salma Hayek on stage? She’s introducing the guy who is directing the orchestra, for the 18th time. And she’s got on Prozak Vulvan, doing the score for each nominated film. Ashley: “Uh… Original Bore.”

8:45pm… The popular choice is Geisha, because John Williams is doing it. I’m voting for Brokeback Mounting. Williams has won, like 40 Oscars, and been nominated about 184 times. Shawn Sharp should win Best Score.

8:46pm… Brokeback wins it. I knew it.

8:47pm… Score right now… Shawn has 8, Mikey & I have 7, Steph & Dan have 6, Nikki, Sybil, Tommy and Ashley have 5… and Drew has 4. So does Amy.

9pm… Jake Gyllenhaal doing his bit—montage on “epic” films. Ben Hur… actually, for Jake right now, it might be Ben-Him. Was that mean? =)

9:02pm… Jon Stewart: “I can’t wait to see Oscars Salute to Montages. We are actually now out of clips. Send yours in, even if they are on beta.”

9:03pm… Jessica Alba and Burton from Survivor are coming out to do Sound Mixing. She’s kinda cute. I picked Narnia to win… Shawn and Mikey picked Walk the Line. I can catch up for this one. And King Kong takes it.

9:05pm… Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep. Michael: “Let’s find two out of work actresses and try to make them look good.” Now’s the time for the ten minute break while they give an “honorary” Oscar to someone who could never win one on his own. Its going to Robert Altman… what happens it, when someone stays in Hollywood forever, and the Academy says “hey, we should give this guy something before he croaks”, they do this honorary stuff. Lily and Meryl are just rambling and going on and on.

9:07pm… Robert Altman did Gosford Park, Nashville, The Player, M*A*S*H, Short Cuts and many others. However, most of my readers (all three of you) under 20 (two of you) won’t know hardly any of these films. Very sad.

9:10pm… He also directed “Dr T & the Women”, which Stephanie says “is the worst two hours of my life”. Nikki adds “give him the stupid award and lets move”. Michael adds “Robert Altman might die onstage.” Nikki then adds “He’s very broad shoulders.

9:11pm… He’s directing currently “A Prairie Home Companion” with Meryl Streep and Lindsay Lohan. No, I’m not making that up. Princess Shrinking Boobs herself.

9:12pm… Altman is talking, the crowd is laughing. Amy and Steph are discussing makeup, Drew and Mikey are talking about Dance Dance Revolution. So, in other words, we can’t hear a thing he’s saying. Altman is pointing to his family, which I guess includes David Crosby.

9:14pm… A commercial featuring M. Night Shamalama. I love this guy. He’s the director of Sixth Sense and The Village and Unbreakable and Signs, which were all fabulous movies. It’s a very, very long American Express commercial.

9:18pm… Ludacris is coming onstage. As a rapper turned actor, he’s probably doing the best of all the rappers turned actors. He’s making sexual innuendo jokes. But he’s introducing “Hard Out to Be a Pimp”… which is a great song. This is awesome…. Its like a bad live video. Someone on stage is named “Crunchy Black”. Don’t ask.

9:19pm… They are strategically using the word “witches” for a few select words.

9:20pm… There is a white guy. Again, don’t ask.
Drew: What’s Kirk Cameron doing up there?
Nikki: I feel like I’m watching Rent.

9:22pm… Queen Latifah is coming onstage. Drew: “Its Queen Ursula”

9:23pm… So here’s the award… I picked “In the Deep” from Crash. The Pimp song, and Dolly’s “Travelin’ Thru”. Shawn noted that DJ Qualls was on stage, which makes me think that’s the only way he’ll ever get there.

9:25pm… Yes, Hard Out Here for a Pimp just won Best Song. Its notable that only the black people in the audience are clapping. Jon Stewart just said “You know… it just got easier for a pimp.” Then he made a good point… “How come they (the Three-6 Mafia) are the only excited ones here tonight?” And yes, Three-6 Mafia just went nuts.

9:27pm… Jennifer Garner, who almost fell, just had a baby. Even if she still hasn’t lost the weight, she still looks great. She’s giving out Sound Editing. I went King Kong. And the award goes to King Kong!

9:30pm… And here’s George Clooney. Politics aside, he’s really a funny guy. And you can still here Three-6 Mafia. Here comes the death bed montage, for all the people that passed away last year. In Memoriam is what they call him.

9:31pm… Mr. Miyagi… Sandra Dee… Chris Penn… Shelley Winters… Anne Bancroft… Eddie Albert… a bunch of guys and gals I’ve never heard of… Richard Pryor… Steph made a point that she hates the fact that not everyone gets equal clapping.

9:37pm… Will Smith is up in the hizzy for the Foreign Language Film. I went with Tsotsi… and like short films, it’s a crap shoot. The Oscar goes to… Tsotsi… I’m in the running for this!

9:39pm… The winner is speaking some other language, and giving props to the kids who were in his film, Tsotsi.

9:40pm… Jon Stewart: “Just so you know… Martin Scorcese, 0 Oscars. Three-6 Mafia, 1”. Best line of the night so far.

9:41pm… Zing Zhang Zungxiixi is doing Film Editing. She can barely speak English. And the winner is “Crash”, which gives me my 10th right award of the night. Other than “Pimp”, nothing so far tonight too shocking.

9:42pm… I went with “Capote” for Adapted Screenplay… the other leaders in the group went with “Brokeback Mountain”. Truman Capote can win it or lose it for me.

9:44pm… Hilary Swank is here to give Best Actor. I find Hilary strangely attractive—I even liked Another Karate Kid.

9:45pm… PS Hoffman as Capote, Heath Ledger as the gay cowboy, Terrance Howard as a pimp, WahKeen Phoenix as Johnny Cash, and David Straithern as Edward R. Murray in Good Night & Good Luck. I picked Hoffman.

9:46pm… Philip Seymour Hoffman got it… he was robbed in Twister and Boogie Nights. I really like PS Hoffman… he’s officially made The Leap from Hall of Famer That Guy to a real actor.

9:47pm… As they showed the clip for Brokeback Mountain, Shawn said “Save a horse, ride a cowboy.” I replied “Which one is Big, which one is rich?”

9:54pm… And here comes Two Time Academy Award Nominee (which means he’ll win an honorary award in about twenty five years) John Travolta. He’s giving out Cinematography. We all picked Brokeback Mount-me. And the winner is? Memoirs of a Geisha? What? What?

9:55pm… How in the heck did Geisha win Cinematography? Its just a bunch of Asian chicks dancing in a club? Michael, responding to the camera scanning to an Asian in the crowd: “Did they just find a token Asian and point to them because Geisha won?”

9:57pm… Jamie Foxx comes out for the Best Actress Award—just know, last year’s winner for Actor gives out Actress the next year, and vice versa (hence, PS Hoffman will give out Best Actress next year). Drew picked Judi Dench, Amy picked Felicity Huffman, the rest picked Reese in Walk the Line. Felicity can steal this thing, though.

9:59pm… Please let Reese win this. Please let Reese win this. And the winner is… Reese Witherspoon. Elle just won an Oscar. Man, she looks just great. WahKeen is trying to smile… he’s trying, God love him. That was such a good movie, though… I LOVED Walk the Line.

10:02pm… She was also in Election, which was just a great movie. A definite guy movie, though.

10:05pm… Another commercial for Extreme Makeover: The Medical Edition, or something like that.

10:07pm… Here comes Dustin Hoffman, bringing out Adapted Screenplay. I picked Capote. Steph, Shawn & Mikey picked Brokeback Mounting. This is the award that will determine the winner of the Oscar Game.

10:08pm… And the award goes to… Larry McMurty for Brokeback. What sucks is, he’s the same guy who wrote Lonesome Dove, a very manly movie. And now, Steph and Shawn are the only people who can win this thing.

10:10pm… Stephanie picked Good Night, Good Luck for Original Screenplay, Shawn, Mikey & I picked Crash. Barring a crazy upset, Shawn & Steph will tie.

10:11pm… Uma Thurman, who looks like the crypt keeper, is giving out Original Screenplay now. Crash picks it up. Shawn & Steph tie. I think that Steph is going to give Shawn money for part of the $25 dollars in Rave money.

10:13pm… Now, all we can do is wait for Brokeback to win director and picture. I’m out of gay jokes. Well, that’s not true. I’ve got more, but many of them aren’t appropriate for my readers (all three of them)

10:17pm… Exchange:
Me: Everyone picked Brokeback to win.
Mikey: That’s because it will win.

10:18pm… Jon Stewart: “As I watched Brokeback win Screenplay, I thought to myself ‘I didn’t know we could wear jeans’”. (the award recipients wore jeans… you had to be there)

10:20pm… Exchange:
Steph: Don’t you just love Sense & Sensibility?
Nikki: Oh, I do
Me: I really could have married either one of you, and it wouldn’t have made much difference, I guess.

10:21pm… Ang Lee just won for Best Director for Brokeback… who taught us “aw abouw gay mens and gay womens”.

10:24pm… Here comes Jack Nicholson to give Brokeback the final award. Nikki says “He just coughed on the envelope.”

10:25pm… He’s ten years away from being Robert Altman. And for the most predictable…. HOLY CRAP….

10:26pm… CRASH JUST WON BEST PICTURE!!!! CRASH JUST WON BEST PICTURE!!!! GAY COWBOYS EVERYWHERE ARE GOING TO HOLD EACH OTHER!!

10:27pm… Three-6 Mafia is celebrating.

10:28pm… I'd give anything to see the Brokeback guys come down the aisle, having already thought they'd won it, like Derek Zoolander coming down to the Slashie Award, even though Hansel (he’s so hot right now) won the trophy. Just turning around and seeing Lenny Kravitz shaking his head, pointing to the screen that says "Crash" on it. That would rock.

10:20pm... How the crap did Crash win Best Picture? Wow.

10:29pm… Wow.

10:31pm… Wow.

10:31pm… American Inventors? This is a new show? What?

10:31pm… And Crash just won Best Picture. Holy crap.

10:32pm… Wow. Okay… hope you enjoyed our Oscar blog for the night. I’ll be posting Tuesday about my Starbucks interview and such… Only a few surprise, but they were huge ones. I'd have to say Reese looked the best for the night (though Nicole was a close second). Good night and Good Luck.

More Idol, More Survivor

Don't forget... TOMORROW NIGHT--THE RUNNING OSCAR DIARY, right here on The Adventures of Dave.

Spent last night, late, playing Attacktix with some of the guys... we're such nerds. Now, on Saturday morning, I'm watching the American Idol results show, finally. Yes, yes, I know who got voted off... and I'm pretty excited about it.

AMERICAN IDOL
Anyway, the Idols just did the obligatory group performance, this time of Orleans' (or is it The Little River Band's?) "Love the One You're With". Carrie Underwood is singing tonight... you know, I really like Carrie. She's just so good lookin' and wholesome seeming--maybe thats why I've got a thing for Pickles.

Even though I know who gets the boot, I still don't like my faves to be in the bottom three... My Girl McPhee isn't in the bottom three. And neither is Pickles! I'm feeling okay now.

Kinnik is, however. So is Heather Cox. Not a problem with that. And so is Brenna. Not a problem at all. And Brenna's going home. Ha ha ha!! She says "Get ready for my album". Sure... look for it on the cd shelf at your local Dollar Tree in about a year. And she's resinging her version of "Last Dance", and its hideous.

Is there a more annoying, yet more addicting, song that Black Eyed Peas "My Hump"? I mean, its so stupid... its a ridiculous song, stupid lyrics, a dumb riff... yet is so much fun to sing along too. Am I alone?

I think Paula is drunk. I'm not kidding. No, really... I absolutely think that Paula is buzzing... she's being really stupid, moreso than usual, and Ryan Seacrest even scolded her because "this is the most intense moment of their lives, and you're making jokes." Oh, and this is where Heather Cox gets tossed off the show.

As for the guys, Bucky (...bucky...) and Steph's man Ace with the Ace Hair are both safe. Elliott Yahmean is safe. T-Hicks is safe. And of course, Chris Daughtry is safe--how could he not be after that performance the other night? In fact, I've only gone back and watched about three or four performances again, in the history of American Idol. Daughtry's version of "Hemorrhage" was one of them.

In the bottom three: Sway, Dave Radford (who?)... and somehow, Chicken Little is in the bottom three, and JPLV2.0 is. Radford is out, and during his final song, all the cast is crowded around him (Paris is even crying...) which makes me laugh. You know they are ALL thinking "better him than me".

Paula is piping up again... and she is making NO sense. She's buzzing, I swear. Sway is gone now. He really didn't do that bad, but I never saw Sway making the top four. I mean, his nickname is Sway. Be real.

SURVIVOR
Here's where we stand... Mikey has Sally, Austin and Mr. Miyagi, while I've got Cirie, Courtney, Bobby and Freak of the Week Shane. Steph has Danielle, Nick and Dan, while Ashley has Eros and Terry.

So apparently, Austin has called out Mr. Miyagi for building a rock zen garden when he needs to help the team wth firewood. What a weird group. The reward challenge involved tossing beans, rice and fish. Winner gets all of it, including spices and wine (which Courtney was just so happy about). Loser gets choice of beans or rice. No fish.

Apparently, you have to chop off the head and tail of the fish before tossing it in the bucket--and Miyagi just mutilated his fish. I mean, chopped that bad boy up. Then he dropped the next fish. What a lame guy. Hot Sally just dropped her fish. Dan the Astronaut has had to throw it three times. Bobby is wailing on his fish--two chops, aand its done. And Casaya wins it, and they elect to send Terry to Exile Island.

Yes, I'm aware of the fact that if you don't watch this show, you have no clue what I'm talking about. Casaya, the freak tribe, includes Cirie, Miyagi, Shane, Danielle, Eros, Bobby and Courtney... and since its pouring rain, and they can't cook the fish, they are chowing down on raw fish. La Mina, the other tribe, is Nick, Austin, Dan the Astronaut, Hot Sally and Terry, who's now at Exile Island. Keep in mind, there is a hidden immunity idol on Exlie Island, andwhen people are banished there for a few days, they can search for it--and Terry did. And found it.

La Mina ate the beans... and its giving them the runs and the cookie tossings something fierce. Over in Casaya, Bobby and Miyagi are sitting together in the outhouse (a reward challenge prize) drinking wine together. And they drank all of it. And Bobby is braggin on it... not a smart move. Besides Cirie, the big black mama on this tribe, I don't know if there is anyone likable on this tribe.

La Mina has lost four challenges in a row, heading into the immunity challenge. And this one involves diving to the ocean floor, collecting "skull puzzle pieces". Fun for all. Their diving in, they're going deep, in over their heads they wanna be... with Austin and Hot Sally putting the puzzle together, that sends Casaya to tribal council.

Somehow Freak-a-leek Shane has found himself leader of the tribe... and he made Bobby swear on his (Shane's) own kid that Bobby would vote a certain way. And Courtney is meditating in the Zen Garden--and Miyagi is upset. Its a Zen Garden... isnt that what its for? So the girls decide to take control, and they tell Shane they want Bobby gone, even though Shane swore on his kid he wouldn't vote him out. Big Mama Cirie has this "I can't believe I'm still here" look about her. And Miyagi feels unappreciated, darn it. He admits it. Eros is calling him out... again. And finally, after Miyagi gets 2, Courtney gets 1, Eros gets 1... and Bobby gets three. Bobby's out, and I lose my first tribemate on my proverbial team.

AND FINALLY
Well, now I've got to get chores done. Folding clothes, showering, I have to finish up some Starbucks paperwork for my interview on Monday. I'll let you guys know all about the interview as it comes.

American Idol Reviews

Well, here I am on my second day off (can I say I love my schedule...) and I'm watching the chicks on American Idol. The judges are talking... and they are doing inside scoops on the girls (again).

My Girl McPhee is up first. She's Pickler's roommate, which is fun. I wonder if Daughtry and Hicks are roomdawgs too. Anyway, she looks frumpy in her outfit, but her hair is fabulous. She's singing a Stevie Wonder song, I think, and not doing too bad. Go Kat!! Randy said it was a little safe, but just okay. Paula agrees with Randy. Simon says "Don't just be in your own world. Its forgettable." Paula shouted out "you're still a star!"

Kinnik Sky is next. She's singing Gretchen Wilson's "Here for the Party". Mind you, Gretchen is country. And Kinnik is black. I love the risk. Not the singing, mind you. I don't know how much longer she's gonna remain in the competition. Randy and Paula were nice about not liking it. Simon gave props for the risk, but that it sounded like a theme park performance. I'd agree.

And now we get to Lisa, the love child of Lisa Turtle and Sarah from "Head of the Class". Since her song is just average, and I'm not enthralled, I'll take the time to tell you that there is another Lisa Tucker out there--but there is a definate difference in the two. Can I just say I was bored during that song? It was a Jackson Five song. Randy says "eehh", Paula loved it, using words like "amazing" and "you're a star" and "all the way" and such. Simon advised to be smart about her song choices, but that she'd sail through.

Melissa McGhee is next. I'm sure she's nice, but I couldn't pick her out of ten Starbucks customers to be honest with you. And she's trying to sing Reba. Does she not realize only like, nine people in the world can effectively sing Reba? She's not one of them. I remember going to a karaoke bar in college, and there was this nine year old chick (not making this up) who just went crazy on it. She's one of the nine. Not Melissa McGhee--gosh, what if its the same chick? Weird. Randy said "that song fit you--it was hot!". Paula used the "coming out of your shell" comment. Simon says "wrong song... for some reason, you aren't making a connection with the audience." I'll tell you why--because we've seen Melissa only TWICE, like, EVER. They didn't show her practically at all during the auditions. That's why she WILL NOT be in the top 12.

Heather Cox is singing "Hero" by Mariah Carey. Like I said last week, she hasn't given me a reason to really like her. Unlike My Girl McPhee, Mandisa or Pickles, she doesn't have the charm. Unlike Lisa Turtle or Paris, she doesnt have the voice. Unlike Ayla Brown, she's not a "long shot underdog story". At least I dont think she's an annoying gnat, like Brenna. And the song was... ehh. Just okay. Paula says "You improved. BUT... you're not Mariah." Randy agreed. Simon agreed with both Randy and Paula.

I thought I felt a bowel movement coming. No... its just Brenna Gethers. And she's singing Donna Summers "Last Dance." Why!? WHY GOD WHY?? WHY does she have to butcher a likable song? Why can't she butcher Barbra Streisand or something? "Brenna" and "sexy" go together like "John Kerry" and "backbone". And she's killing an absolutely fabulous song. Paula says "where's the magic?", and Brenna says "I think America loved it, and it will reflect in the votes." Randy is laughing at her. And Simon says "Change 'Dance' to 'Chance'. You just murdered a Donna Summer song like a guy in a cruise ship bar." She actually thinks she did well. I will now clip my toenails with a weedwhacker.

Paris Bennett. I don't want to like Paris, I don't want to like Paris, I don't want to like Paris, I don't want to like Paris, I don't want to like Paris... she's singing "Wind Beneath My Wings". She's not Bette, but she's doing it some justice. She's so friggin' squeaky. Paula nicely said "let's see the fun". Randy says "don't play it safe, ever". Simon says "Don't sound 50." I don't want to like Paris. I don't want to like Paris. I don't want to like Paris.

Ayla Brown is the chick who is playing basketball at Boston College, and also on the show. I've grown to like her, in a Jennifer Herndon sort of way. She's singing Celine Dion tonight. And she's nailing it. Paula loved it. Randy said he was surprised, but he really liked it. Simon says "you're working so hard, and you can see it."

Sidebar: Can someone just sing a song because "Well... I just like that song", not for a grandmother, or an aunt with cancer, or my brother sang this to me in our room before he died of a degenerative knee condition or something. Geez.

And now, its time for Pickles! I just love me some Kellie Pickler. She's singing Bonnie Raitt's "Something to Talk About", which to me, fits her like a glove. Maybe thats too safe. Paula really enjoyed it. Randy says "we got a hot one!" No kidding. Simon says "You can't help but like you". No kidding. Especially in that halter top. Um... who's next?

Finally, Mandisa's up in the hizzy. She just told us about DogJaw. I'll let that slide. I like this chick too. She's singing "Cry" by Faith Hill. I'm not a fan of the original, to be honest, so she doesnt have to do much to improve on it for me. She is a little spotty in her notes, though. Paula said "You're adding your own flavor". Randy "a little pitchy, but it was cool." Simon didn't like her look, but agreed with Randy.

I'm guessing Heather Cox or Melissa McGhee is going home... though I'd throw them both in to chunk Brenna.

Next up... let's hear the guys sing.

Taylor Hicks is singing first, doing "Easy" by Lionel Richie & the Commodores. Careful now... great, tough song. I love watching this guy sing... its one of those "doesn't matter how he sounds, he just looks fun" kind of things, only he can sing. He did the song justice. Lots of "woos" and such. Randy says "not my best choice, but I like you", as did Paula. Simon has never liked T-Hicks, and says "watching it back, you'll think it was average." I liked it.

So Elliott Yamin pronounces his name "Yah-mean", like Joaquin pronounces his name "Wah-keen". So, Elliott Yahmean is singing a song I've never heard. Not too bad, though. I call it now, though... Elliott Yahmean DOES NOT win American Idol. Mark it down. Randy and Paula freakin' loved him--AGAIN. Simon loved it too.

Steph's man Ace Young is singing "If I'm Not Made For You" by Daniel Beddingmen. No wonder Steph likes him... she loves that song. Ace just admitted that he saw Beddingmen in concert... not with his girl, not with his mom, not with a female pal... but with his BROTHER. That's pretty Brokeback. Again, I love My Girl McPhee and Pickles... Steph loves Ace with the Ace Hair. He's doing the falsettos decently well, but I still think this song is crap. Randy liked it. "You sing better than you let on..." is what he said. What does that mean? If you're in American Idol, shouldn't you sing as best you can? Paula liked it. Simon says "you struggled... and you're going to be disappointed when you hear it back."

Gedeon McKinney is on stage now, singing Sam Cooke's "A Change is Gonna Come", which is a tough sell. I like Gedeon, though. He's got a George Huff charm about him. And the song is great. He did really, really well. Randy and Paula both liked lots. Simon said that Gedeon's soulful sound was brilliant. And it was.

Chicken Little is singing "Heard It Through the Grapevine" by Marvin Gaye. Interesting. He just gave a very disturbing interview about being a sex symbol. Randy and Paula just love him... somehow, I can see him making out with Heather Cox on Beauty & the Geek. Simon said "if I heard you on the radio, I'd turn it off". I agree. Apparently Paris calls him Chicken Little. I don't want to like Paris, I don't want to like Paris.

Here comes Sway. Another Stevie Wonder song, "Overjoyed". He wore the pimp hat last week. No pimp hat this week... I think I saw him at Moe's on Monday, serving up my John Coctostan. He's actually singing the song well--its a great song. Randy says "It wasn't good for me", and Paula says "you seem disconnected". That shows how much I know about music... I liked it. Simon says "This is how not to do well on this show. Its karaoke." Wow. They ripped him.

Here comes Jon Peter Lewis Version 2.0, singing Kenny Rogers "Lady". What? Kenny Rogers? He just said "it was really cool to meet Justin Guarini." What? Randy didn't really like JPLV2.0, while Paula says "too safe, a little bland". Simon says "it was like a broadway audition... you're target audience is 11 year old girls."

Its Bucky. Bucky singing Garth Brooks. Bucky singing Garth Brooks "The Thunder Rolls". A song about a woman who is cheated on, so she shoots her husband as he comes in late smelling like perfume. A crime you might see on Cops, with Bucky wearing a wife beater, whizzing in the bushes. Randy liked the Dirrty South Representation, while Paula loved the hits on the notes. Simon likes Bucky's sincerity, though he seems like a "supporting act" to the bigger stars on the show. I can see that. Bucky.

David Radford is singing now, or John Stevens II: John Stevener. He's singing Sinatra's "The Way You Look Tonight" and getting nowhere close. Stephanie really like him too. I see him singing at a frat party, swooning the girls, only to have those same girls actually go home with the cuter party boys, leaving Radford with the drunk chick to drive home. Randy, Paula, Simon and I were all bored.

After fast forwarding through the preview for Fox's new show "Free Ride" about 23,499 times over the last two weeks, I actually watched the commercial. And it looked funny.

And for the finale... here comes Chris Daughtry. He's doing Fuel's "Hemorrhage" and doing it well. Bucky is in the back, rocking along. Bucky. As for Chris... HE FREAKIN' NAILED IT. The whole place erupted when he finished, Randy just said that he could be right on the charts with Audioslave and Incubus, and Paula said "Amazing". Simon said "out of all the performances... remember this guys (looking at the guys on the balcony)... this was the only one that really stood out."

I'll be honest... after last week and this week, Daughtry moves ahead of T-Hicks as my favorite buy on the show. I think I'd like to hang out with T-Hicks, but Chris is bringing the rock.

I'll be at a banquet tonight, so I wont get to see the Idol results until late, or even tomorrow, so I'll just comment later.

Entertainment Weekly said it best: "Riddle me this: Is there a single Idol viewer who'd have objected if the show's producers had eliminated David, Sway, Will, and Bucky in a single swoop and allowed Chris to rock out with a five-song mini-concert?"

My vote is for the mini-concert.

My Day Off

Nothing but ramblings, really...

Bought a suit on Sunday. Went to Men's Wearhouse, was helped by a lovely saleschick named Centaur, or something like that. Anyway, Steph and I spent waaaaay too much money, and when it was over, we decided we just couldn't spend $500 on a suit, because I still needed the shirts, socks and shoes... understand, I've never needed a suit. Never had a reason to buy one, so this was our learning trip.

Thanks to the Good Rev'rn Ty, we went to JC Penney's, found one much, much cheaper. Tried on some shoes, but didn't find anything I wanted. Decided to wait a day, so we went to visit S&K Menswear--they have this "2 Shirts, 2 Suits, 2 Ties for $250" deal, though like any deal, nothing good was in the limited selection.

So on Monday, I decided I'd go in the morning, before work, and get everything I needed. Went to Proffitts first... their shoe department wasn't very good, their salespeople weren't very helpful, and there was NO ONE in the suit department. So I left.

Onto Sears. Same. Suit department not good. Shoe department not good.

Went to Parisian. A guy in their suit deparment was helpful, but he didn't seem to understand I had a price range, even though I told him like, four times. I ended up trying on a blazer that fit really well... he said "fits you like a suit should." I looked at the price. $695. I said "Yeah, but it doesnt cost what my suit should." Left there and went to the shoe deparment. There was a guy who actually was helpful... he measured my foot--which is very wide--and spent 20 minutes with me in trying on shoes and helping me figure out what would fit in my price range. And I ended up picking up a pair of black Steve Maddens for $69.95.

So then, back to JC Penney's. The guy that waited on us the day before was there, and I said "I'm here to get my suit". What's great is that on Sunday, this guy looked at me and guessed my blazer size (44S), shirt size (16.5, 32/33) and pant size (36/30). Actually, that might be scary. Anyway... I have a suit.
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Our 2nd Anniversary was yesterday. Had dinner at PF Changs--the honey glazed shrimp was AWESOME.

I bought Stephanie two things--a book that she's been wanting for a while... I had to order it, but thats because she wanted the hardcover edition and its not available in any store. Then I also got her a game she's been wanting, which we played several times last night.

She did well... she went by my favorite comic book shop and picked up a stack of comics I've been missing, then also gave me money to put towards my iPod goal. I'm shooting for the 60gig video iPod, ranging at about $399, and right now I'm at $270 or so. I'll get there eventually.

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So today is a day off. And my brain is rotting because I've watched an hour of Real World/Road Rules Gauntlet 2, and am currently watching the 40 Most Awesomely Bad Love Songs Ever.

I slept a little late, and right now, at 1215, I've done NOTHING. I've got laundry to do, I have to file and inventory my new comics, I need to do some drama stuff, take a shower, shave, eat something, go by the grocery store, and so far, I'VE DONE NOTHING!!!!!

And its been FEEEEEEEE-NOMINAL.

Coming tomorrow... I'll review the latest American Idol, and talk about The Amazing Race.