Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Golden Globe Sunday Evening

So there are your Golden Globe awards for another year.  I'll be back in a few days with more Idol, and another few installments of our Top 100 Coolest Things of the Year...

11:41p... Ricky Gervais appears once more, thanks the crowd, does one more shill for his TV show... and thats it.  There are the Golden Globes, short (3 hours doing movies AND television) and sweet. 

11:37p... Julia Roberts is out here to give away the award for Best Picture.  It's "Avatar", which now has the momentum to carry it to the Oscars for Best Picture.  Sigh.

11:31p.. Ah, Kate Winslet.  I love me some Kate Winslet.  Here's Best Actor in a Drama... one of the nominees is the President of The Lovely Steph Leann's Colin Firth Club, Colin Firth.  He doesn't win, though... it goes to Jeff Bridges for "Crazy Heart"... and its awesome, because the entire room is giving him a standing ovation. 

"You are really tearing up my under-appreciated status here," he says.  He then calls out "my beautiful wife... get a shot of her!"  Then sends a nod to his dad, the late, great Lloyd Bridges.  Jeff is one of those actors who you never think about how good he is, and then you realize how much awesome stuff he's been in... "Tron"... "Starman"... "The Fabulous Baker Boys"... "Iron Man"... "The Last Picture Show"... "Surf's Up"... and of course, "The Big Lebowski"... great career. 

11:28p... Some chick who's name I missed is doing Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical.  And the winner?  Another shocker... Robert Downey Jr in "Sherlock Holmes".  Really?  Well... he made that film what it was... and he gives the best speech of the night, slightly edging Drew Barrymore just for comedy content...

11:24p... Mickey Rourke's Corpse comes out wearing a terrible hat and terrible suit, to give away Best Actress in a Drama.  The winner?  Sandra Bullock for "The Blind Side"... wow... seriously, didn't see that coming at all.  The Lovely Steph Leann screamed again.  Hey, I'm not saying she didn't earn it, but wow... I really thought it would be one of those "your reward is being nominated" for Sandy... but rock on. 
Also... Mickey looked like he threw up in his mouth a little when he announced Sandy Bullock winning.  Here is a pic of Mickey before the plastic surgery (inset) and the after shot. 

11:22p... Ah-nald is out to introduce "Avatar" as a Best Picture nominee, takes a dig at NBC ("the only way that James Cameron would make more money is if he were hired by NBC... then fired by NBC"). 

11:20p... Is anyone else as NOT stoked about the Winter Olympics as I am? 

11:20p... Uh... Mike Tyson is standing onstage, a part of a group who just won a Golden Globe Award for a movie, the same stage that Mo'Nique stood on after winning an acting award of her very own.  I'm not joking. 

11:19p... And Ashley Judd Club member Reese Witherspoon is out to give away Best Picture Comedy or Musical.  How great would this be if "The Hangover" won?   AND IT WINS!!!!  THAT IS SO AWESOME!!! 

11:18p... The guys from "The Hangover", including Mike Tyson, are out to introduce their own movie... this movie is awesome.

11:15p... Jack Bauer and Olivia Wilde come out to give away the award for Best Comedy or Musical TV Series.... The Lovely Steph Leann might go postal if "Glee" doesn't win... or she might do the same if it does win.  Dunno.  There are a thousand people onstage, including Jayma Mays (left).

The winner?  "Glee".  The Lovely Steph Leann just screamed loudly.  The blood that is slowly trickling from my right ear I'm sure will dry on my wife-beater t-shirt.

11:09p... Jodie Foster comes out and introduces "The Hurt Locker", an awesome, amazing movie.  Ricky Gervais, beer in hand, says, "Cheers."  Then he says, "If I offended anyone, its the beer... I love to drink as much as the next man... unless the next man is... Mel Gibson..."

Mel Gibson is here to introduce the Best Director nominees.  I miss Fun Mel Gibson.  When he's not going off on cops and fathering children with nannies, he's a great guy to watch.  The winner?  James Cameron for "Avatar".  I was expecting Kathryn Bigelow for "The Hurt Locker", but I'm kinda wondering if this is a foretelling of whats to come at Academy Awards night--Cameron winning, and "Avatar" winning Best Picture, which I'm totally opposed to... not that they will ask my opinion.

10:56p... And here is the CC DeMille Award for Lifetime Achievement, which usually takes about 20 minutes.  This one goes to Martin Scorsese.  They do a pan shot to Brenden Fraser.  Who invited that guy?

Anyway, let's talk about the movies Scorsese has done... "Goodfellas"... "Aviator"... "Raging Bull"... "Taxi Driver"... "The Color of Money"... "The Departed"... "Cape Fear"... "Casino"... "Gangs of New York"... even his crap, like "Bringing Out the Dead" was good crap.  For what its worth, I lift my coffee cup to you, Marty Scorsese.

10:52p...  Ricky Gervais digs on Halle Berry in "Catwoman" before bringing her out.  I will always like Halle Berry, if only because she actually showed up at The Razzie Awards to accept her Worst Actress Award for "Catwoman".  The Best Supporting Actor goes to... Christoph Waltz for "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children", which I predicted, because he was amazing in that movie.   As he gets his award from Halle, The Lovely Steph Leann says, "She's thinking 'please don't kiss me!'"

10:49p... Supporting Actress in TV Series, Mini Series or Movie.  "Glee"'s Jane Lynch is nominated, and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I'm gonna be so mad if 'Glee' doesn't win anything!"  Well, get mad, cause the chick from "Big Love" won.  The Lovely Steph Leann shouts, "Dang it!" 

10:48p... Team Jacob comes out, much to the delight of a million and four girls age 14 and under, to introduce "(500) Days of Summer".  I liked it.  I didn't love it.  It was cute, but it wasn't the brilliant film that I was hearing about from everyone... though its use of "You Make My Dreams Come True" by Hall and Oates might be brilliant in in of itself.

10:44p... Amy Poehler and Zack Levi come out to introduce Best Series Drama, including "Dexter", "Big Love", "House", "Mad Men" and "True Blood"... the winner?  "Mad Men".  I've seen one episode of this show, and I'm already hooked.  I'm totally getting the DVDs. 

10:39... The baddest mofo on the planet, Samuel L. Jackson, is here to introduce "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children", which is in my top ten movies of the year.  He then introduces Sophia Loren as a "real, live movie star", and she gets a standing ovation.  She looks great for 113 years old.  Those glasses are horrific, though.  "That is a shame," The Lovely Steph Leann comments.

She's here to introduce Best Foreign Language Film... Baaria... Broken Embraces... The Maid... Un Prophete... and The White Ribbon from Germany, which is going to win... and... and... and... it does.  Its about kids on the eve of some day in World War II.  That's got Oscar all over it. 

Of course, wouldn't it be interesting to see "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children"--about Nazi killing Jews--and "The White Ribbon"--about German kids in World War II--go head to head. 

10:38p... Maggie Gyllenhaal reminds us to give to Haiti.  She looks ghastly. 

10:36p... Jennifer Garner, who is probably not nominated for "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past", and Ashton Kutcher, who is probably not nominated for anything, is giving out Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical--The Lovely Steph Leann claps when the guy from "Glee" is announced as a nominee.  Alec Baldwin wins, but is nowhere to be found, as he's off doing charity for the Haitian Nation.

10:33p... Ricky Gervais introduces "Rachel from Friends and that bloke from 300"... So Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston come out to give away Best Screenplay.   A huge catagory, all five great movies... the winner is Jason Reitman for "Up in the Air"... my favorite film from 2009.  I admit it.

10:31p... Cameron Diaz comes out and says, "THIS is the film where Meryl Streep DOES sleep with Alec Baldwin".   She's referring to "Its Complicated", of course.  Cameron Diaz hasn't been pretty or talented since the first "Charlie's Angels" movie.  Just sayin'.

10:28p... Me: So you don't like Drew's dress, huh?   The Lovely Steph Leann: NO!   Drew gives a shout out to Mo'Nique... and then gives the most honest, best, most genuine speech of the entire night.  She's flustered, she's fumbling, she's speaking 90 to nothing...  Rock on, Drew Barrymore.

Drew Barrymore:  I'm humbled and honored
The Lovely Steph Leann:  What is that thing on her hip?  Like, its bad enough on her shoulder... but her hips too?

10:24p... The "Avatar" costars are out to do the Best Actor in TV Movie or Mini-Series.  Winner?  Kevin Bacon for "Taking Chance", a movie that I had on DVR for about six months... then deleted without watching.  He was also nominated for... "The River Wild", back in the 90's, also starring... Meryl Streep.

And while we are at it, Best Actress in a TV Movie or Mini-Series.... I want Drew Barrymore to win, so The Lovely Steph Leann will go off again about Drew's dress.  The winner is... Drew Barrymore for "Grey Gardens"!  She was my favorite bad girl back in the 90s... and its her first Golden Globe win.  That's just awesome...

10:22p... Could Helen Mirran be the most attractive 83 year old in the history of the world?  Seriously.  She always looks so, so classy and uppity.  She introduces "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire".  Now I'm depressed.

10:18p... Ricky Gervais makes a drunk Irish joke, then introduces Colin Firth, who introduces the Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical.  The winner goes to... Meryl Streep for "Julie & Julia"... yay!  The Tuch looks on, and seems proud.  The Lovely Steph Leann was rooting for Sandy Bullock in "The Proposal".

I notice that as Meryl Streep talks, the music doesn't play.  The band director is asking the show director "Do I start?" and the show director is saying, "Are you kidding?  This is Meryl Streep.  DO NOT cut off Meryl Streep..."

10:15p...  Tom Hanks:  "I'm here to introduce the movie that features Meryl Streep, and in this one she doesn't end up in bed with Alec Baldwin, but instead ends up in bed with Stanley Tucci, a step up..."  Its "Julie & Julia", which was a great film, featuring the aforementioned Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, and a great turn by Meryl Streep.   

10:10p... Yay!  Its Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with!  The Lovely Steph Leann said, "Is she pregnant?" and I said, "Yes, but its not mine, I promise."  I got an eye roll.  Anyway, the nominees for best TV Movie or Mini Series.  The winner is "Grey Gardens", and whoever got up to accept the award turned her back to the camera, and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Oh no!  That dress is terrible!"  Then she proceeds to rip Drew Barrymore a new one for "that thing on her shoulder... and oh my lord, she's got one on her waist too!"

10:08p... The score from "Up" is nominated for Best Score, and I hope it wins... it was wonderful.  The winner?  "Up"!  Its awesome.  Its so... well, perfect.  It takes you through those first gut-wretching, hard to watch, can't look away 9 minutes of that movie.

10:05p... Cher and Christina Aguliera are in a movie together, something called "Burlesque".  They are here to do the awards for Song from a Movie.  Cher looks terrible.  Not sure she could smile if she wanted to.  Christina... not too bad.  Its been a long time, Christina.  Glad to see you back.  I was guessing "Winter" by U2, from "Brothers", was going to win, to make up for the loss a few years ago when Three 6 Mafia took home the Oscar for "Its Hard Out Here for a Pimp" over U2's song from "Gangs of New York".

Who won?  The song from "Crazy Heart", which I should have guessed.  Its a country music movie about a hard drinking country star fallen from grace.  Shoulda known.

10:03p... Here's the ever grumpy Harrison Ford.  Seriously... this guy is not only Han Solo, but also Indiana Jones, plus he was in "Witness"!  He was in "The Mosquito Coast"!  He was in "American Graffiti"!  Harrison!  You've led an incredible life.  Smile once in a while, bucky.

10:02p... Just found out that Michael C. Hall actually has cancer.  Don't I feel like a sleazebucket. 

9:59p... Best actress in a TV Series Drama... All five women in shows I've never seen.  Julianna Margulies for "The Good Wife", which I have heard is a great show.  I just don't have time for more TV shows!!!

9:57p...  Best performances in drama!  Actor in a TV Series Drama... and the winner is Michael C. Hall for "Dexter", in his cancer-like knit cap.  I remember him as the gay brother in "Six Feet Under".

9:52p... And someone who hasn't been talented or pretty since "Amost Famous" its Kate Hudson!  And here's Mrs. William H. Macy, Felicity Huffman, completely fumbling and stumbling through the teleprompter to tell us who the Hollywood Foreign Press Association actually is... we meet the president, Philip Burk, who isn't the same Philip Burk I remember from the Lambda Chi house back in 1995.  And we still don't know what the HFPA does.

9:48p... The Animated Film Award, which will either go to "Up" or "The Fabulous Mr. Fox"... I hope that Pixar is not being held back because of its previous winnings... like a "They've won so many, so let's give it to someone else" kind of mentality.  The winner?  "Up".  Ha!  I knew it!  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Yes!!"

9:48p... I hold the personal belief that Sir Paul McCartney stopped being relevant about thirteen years ago.  Just sayin'.

9:44p... Yay!  Its Mama Gilmore and some guy that I sort of recognize.  Mama Gilmore looked better on the show.  Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, TV Movie or Mini-Series.  Its Doogie!  Everyone loves Doogie!  The winner, though?  John Lithgow wins for "Dexter".  I don't even think I knew he was on that show until yesterday, when The Sports Guy mentioned him in a podcast that I was listening too.  They cut to Michael C. Hall, the star of "Dexter", who is sporting some sort of knit skull cap--what, does he have cancer?

9:41p... Best Actress in a TV Series Comedy or Musical.   Matthew Fox is out there with someone that I don't recognize (I think its the chick from "Modern Family"), she's trying to get out her names, and its hard to understand her.  The Lovely Steph Leann claps when the chick from Glee is mentioned as a nominee.  Toni Collette wins for "The United States of Tara", which I could have predicted as soon as that show premiered last January... Toni Collette is playing a woman with like, five personalities.  If that doesn't get you an award, I'm not sure what does.

9:38p... Let me be clear.  Mo'Nique just won an acting award.  And she's going to tell us about all the beaten and abused women out there...  and I was right.     "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire" is a movie that I want to see.  Then again, I don't.

9:36p... Nicole Kidman looks like a wax figure.  She's here to present the award for Best Supporting Actress... Penelope Cruz is one of those chicks that I should find attractive, but don't.  Same goes for Vera Fermiga.  Not so much for Mo'Nique.  Julianne Moore and Anna Kendrick I do find attractive.  And in the "Yep, saw that coming" moment, Mo'Nique picks up the award for "Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire".  

9:34p... And he makes some pee-pee jokes... and jokes on Angelina Jolie and her 4,992 kids... and then says, "Let's get on it with, before NBC replaces me with Jay Leno."  Knew that was coming!

9:31p... Our host is Ricky Gervais, British comic and star of the British show "The Office", which is where our "The Office" is based from.  The Golden Globes is awarded from The Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which is a group that I have no clue what they are about.  Ricky comes out and takes digs at Steve Carrell, who portray's Gervais' American character.  Then he takes a dig at NBC (who doesn't). 

9:29p... And now... the Golden Globes have started.  Finally.

9:25p... The Lovely Steph Leann is still talking.  The show still hasn't started for us.  I've been careful to avoid E! Network or or Showbiz Tonight on CNN or anything else that might allude to who won what award.  So far.  Not sure how much longer I can keep this fast up.

9:15p... And now I wait for The Lovely Steph Leann to quit her yapping so we can turn on The Golden Globes Awards show, the show that started almost 2 and a half hours ago--I had high hopes that if we started at 7:30, even 8, we could fast forward through what we wanted to, and catch up to the live show.  But alas.

9:13p...  We're in!  We booked, we're all set, we have a room at All Star Sports for The Lovely Steph Leann and I, then an All Star Music Suite for Karen, Eric and the childrens.  Again... you call until you get the answer you want.  And we got the answer we wanted.  Rock on. 

8:59p... We are traveling with the cousin of The Lovely Steph Leann, Karen, and Karen's husband Eric, and their two children, Wyatt and Hannah.  Both kids are severly autistic, which is something that I know about.. but don't know about.  So, like, I don't know much about "how that works". 

8:53p... Finally, back from on hold... and our Cast Member we are talking to is named Elisa.  She rocks.  Seriously...

8:46... Still on hold

8:22pm... The Golden Globes officially started at 7pm, which is 5pm California time.  However, we've got it on DVR, and we haven't started it yet... why?  First, I had to work tonight until 7pm at The Happiest Place in the Mall.  Then, when I got off at 7pm, I had to stop by Subway to bring home some Eat Fresh for dinner.  Upon arrival at home, circa 7:30, The Lovely Steph Leann was busy as a bee putting up Christmas ornaments into their proper boxes (this is a daunting task that I usually do every year, but this year she's assisting).  I sat down, put the Eat Fresh sandwiches off to the side, fired up the laptop and pulled up a blank blogpage.

"Can you call Disney and find out rates for our March trip?"  The Lovely Steph Leann asked.  I sighed.  I stared at the remote, at the Eat Fresh sandwiches, at the computer and sighed again.  This was going to take a while. 

See, here's the thing... as much as I love my own company, the one I work for and will be a part of for at least the next 3 and 1/2 months, their reservation system for Cast Members is... well, sometimes rather incompetant.  Put it this way--most of the time, you call until you get the answer you want, and then you book it then, just like tonight.  I've talked to four Cast Members over six phone calls (the first my phone dropped out, and I threw it, and the second, I got transferred in error to the wrong person, who put me on hold for many, many minutes--which means I hung up and threw it.  I don't do well being on hold for stupid reasons.  Just sayin').  Anyway, I finally called back, and got someone now who is supposed to help me book our final trip before I leave The Happiest Place in the Mall in April.

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