Ten Crappy Things About 2006
10. Bad Readers on Audiobooks… nothing ruins the experience of listening to a great book being read aloud than a crappy reader doing it. Mundane voices, muffled tones, uncaring speaking will immediately kick the shins of any great book you might want to hear. Because, believe me, the only thing worse than a bad book, is a bad audio book reader destroying a GOOD book.
9. K-Fed, Britney and TomKat… do we really care?
8. Nancy Grace… how did she get so popular? She’s like a train wreck. I’m sure she’s a fine lawyer, but if she were defending me, it would drive me mad just listening to her drone on and on, sounding like she’s reading from an unintelligible cue card
7. Fergie… Holy crap. Obnxious. Skanky. Freakalicious. Freakanauseating. She’s so cool on her own self, she’s indulged in two different songs, “London Bridge” and “Fergalicious”, that have to do with how hot she is.
6. DC's Infinite Crisis... They almost had me leaving Marvel Comics, really. In 2004, "Identity Crisis" set the tone... put forth a B-level character, Elongated Man (exactly), and make him a star by having his wife, Sue, raped and brutally murdered. Then, watched the Justice League fall apart from the revelation that Batman had been betrayed by his friends when he had been "mindwiped", or had his memories altered. Absolutely stunning... however, they followed this series with "Infinate Crisis", which ended in 2006. It broke apart the Justice League in stunning fashin, but then went downhill quickly after tossing in alternate Earths, old and young Supermen, Super Boys and Lex Luthors from various universes and parallels and so on, plus spreading the stoy into countless titles and new series that you had to read to follow the story... thats why, still, I make mine Marvel, especially now with the brilliance of Civil War.
It started out so well, but Infinite Crisis ended as a complex, convoluted mess. Kinda like the elections for the Republicans.
5. The Fact That I like Fergie… I will now go have Adam Vinatieri kick me in the face.
4. The Da Vinci Code… Wow did this movie suck. I couldn’t even read the book, for fear that it might resemble the dead chicken that is this movie. Yes, yes, I’m sure its better, but eessh… its not even the subject matter, the whole Christ was actually married and so forth, that bugged me… it was just how terrible the whole thing is. And there is more chemistry between myself and Nancy Pelosi than there is between Tom Hanks, Tom’s hair and Audrey Tautou.
Sidebar... there is a hysterical site that trashes the movie and book, which I'm not going to link because of language... but if you really want to read it, Google "da vinci code sucked" and try the top link. Its on you.
3. My Computer Crashing… let’s not even talk about this miserable few weeks when I was forced to blog in the library and check my email only every five days.
2. The Dixie Chicks’ New Album… I was truly looking forward to hearing their new stuff. I mean, yes, “Not Ready To Make Nice” was their way of not apologizing for their anti-Bush sentiment (which frankly, I don’t care either way their political views), but I was truly looking forward to hearing the new stuff that I just knew was going to supplant “Home”, their last album, as my ultimate Chicks experience. And it didn’t happen. I don’t even own it. I heard it a few times in Starbucks, and was just unhappy with the whole thing… the songs all sound mostly alike, and it seems like they were so absorbed with making everyone see how politically rebellious they were, and how they were media darlings now, they forgot to make good music.
Oh, “Sin Wagon”, where hast thou gone?
1. The Republicans… I campaigned for you. I supported you. I blogged about your goodness, your greatness, I foolishly excused your compromising as perhaps the only way to get anything done with Democrats… then I watched, appalled, as you catered to Democrats whims, I stood horror-struck as you, time after time, let Pelosi and Dean and Kerry and The Breck Girl have their way with you, in some sort of Brokeback Washington way, all the while you stood idly by. Then I shook my head in shame, with knowledge that should you, would you, WHEN you lose the election, the Democrats would kick you all the to curb, all previous concessions forgotten. I voted for you, Republicans. And you screwed me. You all screwed me.
Ten Things I Found Myself Disappointed In
10. The Rammer Jammer Blog ends… you can read more about this later on in the 100 Coolest Things countdown
9. “Chaotic Resolve” from Plumb… I personally think that “Candycoatedwaterdrops” from Plumb is not only one of the finest Christian Rock albums ever, but one of the best ever. Its got everything. Her first, self titled album was a great intro to Tiffany Arbuckle, now Plumb, and her third CD, “Beautiful Lumps of Coal” was even more refined than “Candycoated…” But this one? Just not the same. Not as good. I liked it, but still, found myself disappointed.
8. Jennifer Knapp’s Outed… Sigh. “Kansas”, an album that perhaps changed my Christian walk forever, sung my a raspy Midwestern girl who had felt my pain and sung my life. And now? She’s living in England with her life-partner. Sigh.
7. Lost… Sawyer, Jack, Kate, Claire… have you lost your way? After feasting on the show for two years, I found myself almost disconnected, almost forced to watch it only because I’ve invested so much in it. But here’s hoping it will find it’s power soon.
6. Bernard Goldberg's “100 People Who Are Screwing Up America (and Al Franken is #37)”… it’s a decent book, I guess. I was just hoping for more.
5. Watermark Breaks Up… Nathan and Christy Nockel, who wrote and sang the title and main song in the upcoming “Welcome to Delaware: A Soundtrack for a Dave Life”, have called it quits. Yeah, I’m sure its God telling them so, but still? Jennifer Knapp and Watermark in the same year? I’m dying here.
4. George W. Bush… Prez, you’re killing me. Its becoming harder and harder to defend you, brother. Yes, I believe we were right to topple Saddam, yes, I think he should have gotten a great hanging, and yes, I support our troops. But, where are we going with it now? Give me something to work with here.
3. KT Tunstall’s “Eye to the Telescope”… You, the blog reader, know my love for “Black Horse & the Cherry Tree”. And I was hoping against hope the rest of the CD would be just as great… perhaps my expectations were a little high. Because its just okay. Not great. Truly the best is Black Horse, while the song you hear in fifty different shows, “Suddenly I See” is pretty okay… but the rest? Eh.
2. “Superman Returns”… I don’t even know what I was hoping for. I just wanted something more. Spacey as Luthor was awesome, but I felt that Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane was totally miscast, like Jessica Alba as Sue Storm in the Fantastic Four.
1. “Lady in the Water”… looking back, it wasn’t a great movie. It was okay, but just not what I was hoping from M. Night Shamalamannamaman. Of course, I did realize I have the hots for Opie Taylor's daughter, so that's a positive.
Ten Videos That Dominated My iPod (complete with links to watch the videos)
10. “Hazard” by Richard Marx… Was so excited when I could finally get it downloaded. Richard Marx’ most brilliant music ever.
9. “Remember the Time” by Michael Jackson… the King of Pop at his video finest, right before he went White & Pedophilly…
8. “I’m Gonna Miss Her” by Brad Paisley… starring his hot wife Kimberly Williams, it takes a Dan Patrick cameo to send this over the top. Read the scrolls at the bottom as well… Kimberly 1, Brad 0. Been there.
7. “As Good As I Once Was” by Toby Keith… Song that describes how I feel most of the time, really, the video is hysterical, topped off by his rage at spilling the beer.
6. “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter… a little sweet, but still imaginative, as two people find love on a subway wall, and a song finds itself overplayed.
5. “Black Horse & the Cherry Tree” by KT Tunstall… just to see her perform makes the video worth it.
4. “My Humps” by The Black Eyed Peas… I will now scream “Roll Tide” and a get a “We Got 12” tattoo on my thigh.
3. “Feel Good Inc” by The Gorillaz… this is one of the coolest videos ever, as the cartoon band Gorillaz sing and play their way through some Dali-like scenery.
It is a cool song & video, even though I don't know what "Feel Good Inc" means... and neither do you.
2. “Hey Ya” by OutKast… this IS the coolest video ever, and there isn’t an argument about it.
1. “White & Nerdy” by Weird Al Yankovic… I’ve seen it a dozen times, I’ve shown it a dozen more, and frankly, it doesn’t get old.
Ten Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2007
10. “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer”… how can the trailer not excite you?
9. Reading, Finally… I’ve made myself a promise that I will get through most of the books I have stacked up, including Anthony Rapp’s “Without You”, Shawn Michaels’ “Heartbreak & Triumph”, Truman Capote’s “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” and Chris Willman’s “Rednecks & Bluenecks”.
8. "Spider-Man 3"… Okay, so Topher Grace casted as Venom takes cajones… but I think its brilliant. And its got Opie Taylor's daughter as Gwen Stacy.
7. The DFC VIII... Eight years. And still going.
6. Getting My Own Starbucks Store… after over a year of waiting, the time has finally come when I'll have a store to call my own, be it a new or a taken store, it will be mine to make successful. I, and my checking account, are ready.
5. WalkAbout Dinner Theater… in June, my kids are going to shine. This will be, barnone, the best dinner theater ever.
4. Headed Back to NYC… Sometime this summer, I’m awaiting the date, I’m going back to do more missions in New York City. It might be my favorite place in the world, aside from the area next to wherever Stephanie is sitting
3. Disney World… this fall, we’ll go back. Steph loves it, I love it, how can you not be enchanted by the happiest place on earth?
2. Paying Off the Student Loan… sometime this year, probably October, maybe November. Perhaps December, I will be debt free. No credit cards, no car payments, no student loans. The loan is the last bastion of financial bindings I have, and my incredible wife and I have been working to get it done. And this year, for the first time in 14 years, I’ll owe no one a thing.
1. "Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix"... July 13th,2007. The trailer alone makes me frantic.
I'm planning on take the day off work to catch this film when it opens. I wish I were kidding.
Other Cool Things in 2006 Worth Mentioning
Tanya Stephens… Nall Wall & Rocky… Nina Simone’s “Feelin’ Good”… Nikki Brown… Tebe & Tiff & Jason & Liz… Hannah Pruitt... Amanda Laughlin... Jericho… Jenny Ross… Sports Illustrated... Paula Maddox... Kingdom Comics... KidStuf... Starbucks Vestavia… Dale’s Southern Grill… Jim’n Nick’s… Landon Reesor… The Soup... Formaggio's... Lauri Huff... YouTube... Haley Heckman... Jennifer Love Hewitt's "BareNaked" CD... Rutgers' Football season... Tom Johnson... The Missions Game at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship)... Wade Morris
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