Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Rock Rocks (and other thoughts)

What a glorious day here at The Cabana.  Its my day off, so I was able to sleep until around 10ish this morning, after staying up until 1am watching almost 3 hours of American Idol and another hour of Survivor: Redemption Island, and sometimes when you sleep late, and you do that groggy, wobbly stumble to the toilet for your morning relief, then that shower that comes after is just wonderful.  Got out, had me a quick lunch, then set about the task of finishing the laundry that had been piled up for five days now... well, heck, we were gone for twelve days, so everything we owned was dirty.

Now, I'm just sitting on the couch, chilling out, relaxing all cool, you know, shooting some b'ball outside of the school... okay, thats not true.  Thats too much excercise.  It is a beautiful day outside, and some may criticize me for not being in it... but what would I do?  Run?  Go stand on the corner, inhale the fresh Birmingham/Hoover air and mutter out loud, "Wow, what a pretty day!"?  Nah, I just like it here in The Cabana, all the windows open, the bright sunshine pouring in, and a bad Steven Seagal movie playing on the TV, on a channel with no HD, making it fuzzy, which probably makes it more enjoyable.

I guess "Bad Steven Seagal Movie" is itself an oxymoron.


So, The Rock, who I have a total mancrush on, is back in the WWE.  It was a glorious return on this past Monday Night Raw, and I watched the twenty minutes or so he was on about three times.  He was in fine form, shouting out things like, "Layeth the smacketh down on your candy a#(@*" and "Know your role and shut your mouth!" and "All you jabronis..."  It made me giggle.  He rules.  He... well, Rocks.

And of course, the big news is, he'll be "hosting" Wrestlemania XXVII, this time in Atlanta, Georgia, on April 2nd.  Myself and my best mate Wookiee had been discussing going anyway, and we were tossing back and forth about a third like Danny Ocean talking to Rusty in "Ocean's Eleven"... "We need one more?  You think we need one more?  Okay, we'll get one more..."

So enter Big Tom Johnson, another former Deucemate.  The discussion of whether we go to Wrestlemania XXVII shifted to overdrive when I found out that The Rock will be there, and a major part of it.  Toss in the possibility that Kevin "Diesel"/"Big Daddy Kool" Nash may be there, as well as Booker T, and even the outside shot that WCW'er Sting might show up--highly unlikely, but then again, so was The Rock's return to regular WWE appearances... anyway, add all that in, and the discussion went from "are we going?" to "how fast can we get tickets?" 

A visit to StubHub (stuuuuubhub!) today got us some tickets.  Granted, we are in the upper upper deck, and granted we'll be about 10 rows from the top of the Georgia Dome, and granted everyone, Diesel, The Rock and The Big Show included, will look about an inch tall from our seats, but WE WILL BE AT WRESTLEMANIA.  If you could get Super Bowl tickets, you'd take 'em, no matter where you were sitting.  And at about $67 bucks a pop, you just want to say you were there.  April 2nd, we will be.  I rule.


Speaking of The Rock, I just, in the middle of writing this blog post, left The Cabana, drove over to the ghetto and paid a buck at the dollar theater to see The Rock's latest film, "Faster".  To say that "Faster" is a bad film is understating the words "Bad Film".  This movie is flat out terrible.

The Rock plays a character only known as Driver, and that's not his name, that's apparently his role in a bank heist that ended up putting him in prison for ten years.  He and his brother Gary were set up, Gary was murdered, and The Rock, er, Driver, is out to avenge his brother's murder, one by one.  That's really all you need to know, because the plot doesn't get much deeper than that.

This picture in the corner of the screen would
have been better viewing the actual movie. 
Just sayin'.
Oh, well there is some nonsense about a double cross, and a plot twist that I saw coming about thirty minutes into the film, there's Mr. Eko from LOST, there's Carla Gugino looking extremely Carla Guginoey, there's Billy Bob Thornton mailing it in and wearing a horrible hairpiece, and finally, I'd like to put forth a theory that any movie can be made better by inserting Maggie Grace in there somewhere.  She's in this film, and thought I'm not sure why, it helped the scenery a hundred percent. 

Matter of fact, I think that if you know your film is going to be a piece of crap--and I assure you that somewhere in production, the producers looked at each other and said something like "Wow, The Rock or no The Rock, this movie is going blow chunks"--you as a filmmaker have a responsiblity, NAY, a duty to the moviegoing public, at least the male ticket buyers,  to just put a pic of Maggie Grace in her LOST bikini in the corner and leave it there, so we'll have something to occupy our time while the horrible film goes on. 

Let's be real here.  I only saw this because as a guy with a mancrush on The Rock, I try and support his films.  Take out The Rock and insert Jason Statham or Vin Diesel, and I save my money.  However, I can say that I have no problem giving The Rock my buck.   Cause, The Rock rocks. 


One thing I have to keep reminding myself is... this blog is taking off.  Seriously.  Randomly, I look over and another person has become a "follower", or has left a comment making me say, "Who the heck is this?"  Anyway, got some propz from a reader named Nutsy--no knowledge as to whether thats a cute nickname her hubby gave her or a statement on her mental awareness--who looks like she's from the Northeast.  She added me to her own blogroll, so I felt compelled to do the same... her website is called "Miss Gracie: New Adventures on an Old Boat", and its worth a look.  She seems to be like me... she just writes whatever strikes her fancy, and hopes that someone finds it worth a look. 


Wanted to mention another site too, started by a friend of mine, Scotty Latta and a buddy of his... its called "Joust", and its a brilliant idea, really.  The tagline is "Pick Your Battles", and essentially, it lets you compete against other people in contests ranging from sports games to The Bachelor.  I personally don't watch the latter, but I am already signed up for American Idol's league, which will come into play when the Top 24 is revealed.  There is no money involved, there's very little gambling terminology tossed around (parlays and over/unders and such), its just picking your battles.  Find it Joust at JoustNow dot com, or just click here.


I'm flipping channels and stumbling upon a gem.  "School Ties".  Have you ever actually seen this movie?  Its from 1992, and stars Brendan Fraser as David Greene, a teenager in 1955 Pennsylvania, who gets a scholarship to a hoity toity prep school in Massachusetts, St. Matthews.  Problem is, David Greene is Jewish, and St. Matthews is Protestant, so the whole film is all about prejudice and stereotypes... 

Here's Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and Chris O'Donnell, along
with Randall Batinkoff, who went from starring in this hit
to... nothing. 

So David Greene is on the football team, the star QB, the reason he was brought to the school, and everyone is cool with him, he becomes popular, gets him a chick on the swim team (Amy Locane, before the vehicular manslaughter) at a nearby chick prep school, and it seems like everything is awesome... until his secret is discovered.   Then everyone turns on him, including implicating him in a big cheating scandal. 

Appearing in this film are young versions of Ben Affleck (playing a guy named Chesty!) and Chris O'Donnell (before Robin) and Anthony Rapp (before "Rent") and Matt Damon (before anything), and its so bad its awesome.  Not sure why they decided a shower fight scene between Fraser and Damon was a good idea (its PG-13, don't worry) but it just adds to the ridiculousness of "School Ties".

If you come across this film close to the beginning, watch it, enjoy it and dig it.  Didn't even need Maggie Grace in the corner (course she was nine at the time...ew...) but toss The Rock in there and you go from ridiculously awesome to ridiculously awesomer. 

Cause The Rock... well, rocks.


  1. Hey! Thanks for the shout out. I loved it. BTW - my dear Daddy always called me Nutsy Fagan. I was a nutty little kid.

    I, too, like the Rock. He's just a lovable guy. I won't be seeing this movie however. I also like Maggie Grace. She's a work of art. How is it she doesn't get more roles????

    Looking forward to your thoughts on Idol last night. More importantly, your thoughts on Ashley the Waffle House Waitress. She must burn a 1,000 calories a day using her facial muscles alone. Have a good day.

  2. Oh. Dear. Lord. I just found all your links to your stuff on LOST. You're a LOSTophile???????? Larry and I were utterly and completely addicted. I'm still savoring the finale and haven't begun watching my boxed set of the entire series yet.... Looks like I have some reading to do this weekend.....


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