Saturday, August 06, 2011

The Weekend 21

Here are 21 thoughts for your weekend... as always, many are mine, some are not... you'll know mine because they are probably the least funny of all of them.

1) Listen, PayPal... I know you want my password to be strong, but what gives you the right to judge? You want letters, numbers and special characters, but when I give you that, hence "DEBRAMESSING99!", you reject it for not being strong enough? Only something like "DE3RAME55!NG99" will work... but the problem is, I won't remember that for anything. So I have to change it tomorrow. Yes, I could write it down, but wouldn't that defeat the purpose? How about I agree to not give a password like "1234" or "STEPH", and you agree to stop judging my password entries. I'm a grown man... I can take on the accountability.

2) When I do Word Search puzzles, I immediately flip through the book and look for the fun lists. "Architecture Terms"... eh, boring. "Russell Crowe Movies"? Yeah! Where you at, "Gladiator"? I'm also kind of OCD when it comes to Word Searches... I like my bubbles to be rectangular, not just a messy oval that goes all over the puzzle. In fact, if "Proof of Life" and "The Insider" are side by side, they should share a side of the oval, not have two circles that overlap. And never, I repeat, never ever just draw a line through the letters. That's not the way its done.

3) So Shark Week is going on at the same time that they released "Soul Surfer" on DVD/Blu-Ray.  A little disarming, really.

4) Not sure why, but when I talk to someone with a British accent, I have to fight myself from responding in kind. 

5) Taking the trash out as a kid terrified me.  I had to go in the dark and put the can by the curb... and though I never saw him, I knew as soon as I turned around I'd have to run for my life from whoever was murderously chasing me, only narrowly escaping death.                 

6) Saw a Lexus SUV with a dent in the back bumper.  There was a sticker in that dent that said, "Epic Fail".  Best. Bumper. Sticker.  Ever.

7) I always feel like I've been slighted when I comment on a friend's status, receive a notification that someone else has also commented, and click to find that their comment actually has nothing to do with my amazing and witty thought.

8) When I hear Pastor Calvin recite Psalm 23, starting with, "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." my mind immediately recites, "... I take a look at my life and realize they's nothin' leff..."

Sure is hot.  Thanks facebook!
9) I know its summertime because of the dozens of pictures of people's dashboard temperature gauges on Facebook. 

10) There is never more a stronger death grip on an iPhone as that grip on the iPhone when you are in the bathroom.

11) Why aren't the admitted cocaine, heroine and marijuana users on "Intervention" arrested immediately?

12) When you call me and I ask "What's up?" and you say "Not Much." followed by silence, as if it's now on me to carry this conversation, then don't be surprised if I just simply hang up on you.

13) I really want to leave the name "Bueller" at restaurants and wait for them to call it two or three times before I answer.  

14) Now that I look back, I think kiddie cartoons in the 80s and 90s were trying to traumatize all of us.

15) While I'm writing this, The Lovely Steph Leann is watching a movie called "Pretentious".  Or, as its more commonly known, "Bridget Jones Diary".

16) I wish I could switch between more than two channels using the 'last' button on my remote. Memorizing channel numbers in HD is too much for my brain.

17) Does anyone else end up getting about 28 copies of the Yellow Pages on their doorstep every spring?   By recycling these every year, The Lovely Steph Leann and I help save about 8 trees in the Amazon Rain Forest.
18) When I'm staring at someone, and they realize it and move, I keep staring in the same direction, in the hopes they think "oh, he was looking at something behind me..."          

19) My computer is as slow as molassass on a January Alaska day.  So it takes me a few minutes to shut 'er down... and it stinks because sometimes when I hibernate the computer, as its going dark, I immediately think of about 8 things I was going to do online, but forgot.

20) Remember when "From M. Night Shymalan" used to mean something in a movie trailer?

21) So, at the end of "Back to the Future", we see Biff Tannen is now the McFly's assistant/manservant of sorts... the same Biff that was trying to rape Lorraine in the back seat 50s during the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance in the 50s?  Does this not bother anyone?
The Summer of Blogging Day Fifty Three

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