Thursday, January 27, 2011

Music City Idol

I don't usually post Idol performances, especially during the audition rounds, because there are too many I'd want to post, and it would be hard to pick... unless they are remarkable.  And this one is remarkable... not because of how good he is (he was good, but not the best I've heard) but because of the Sob Story around it.  I say "sob story" in jest, because Idol likes to manipulate our "awww" buttons, but this time, it was more than an "awww", it was a tear inducing "wow" that leaves you speechless.

From last night's Milwaukee audition, here's the story of Funky Chris Medina, and his girlfriend...

Of course, we kick off with Darius Thomas from sweet Birmingham, AL, hitting a high note somewhere so high that its still lingering over Lake Michigan.  Mariah Carey saw that guy do that note and said, "I wish I had that range."  He didn't make it to Hollywood.

So... lets get to tonights show...




In Nashville, 17,000 people gathered together to audition, and the crowd looks like my last birthday party!  The legendary Ryman Auditorium is the host arena, and up first is annoyingly annoying Christine McCafferty and she's singing as she comes in.

"What is she..." The Lovely Steph Leann asks, "...what... what is she doing?"

And even better, this chick is doing one of The Lovely Steph Leann's least favorite songs ever, outside of rap music, "I Hope You Dance".  I have a feeling Lee Ann Womack is passing out.

Chelsea Oaks and Rob something are here together--and are exes.  And they still live together.  They sing together.  And they used to date...

Say it with me...


Smashcut to outside, where Ryan is talking to the family... including Chelsea's current boyfriend, who says he was not the reason for the breakup, and how Chelsea and Rob (Bolin, by the way) were broken up by the time he entered the picture.  Drama.

Rob sings, and he's got a great bluesy voice, despite the fact he looks like Giovanni Ribisi.  Chelsee (e, not a on the end) is singing one of my favorites, "The Story" by Brandi Carlile (thats Carlile not Carlisle) and also sounds great.  They both get Hollywood tickets. 

The Lovely Steph Leann giggles as they play "Need You Now" over the video.  Chelsee gets a big hug from Her Boo, while Rob gets a handshake from Seacrusty.  Kinda funny.  No, really funny.

Steven Tyler's jaw just drops as Big Booby Blondie comes in, and another girl gets a cheer from him as she touches her tongue to her nose.  He's kind of like the funny, yet somewhat creepy, yet somewhat cool old uncle.

Now here comes tattoo artist Allen Lewis singing "Simple Man" by Lynyrd Skynyrd... though he looks like he would be more comfortable beating his wife and his girlfriend (yes and, not or) while doing it.  Randy the Dawg kinda pins him as a band guy... J-Lo laughs... Steven Tyler is inspired.  We all are, in fact.  Allen Lewis tells us that his failure here will make him work harder.  I am going to go run a marathon now.

Idol forecast?  Stormi Skies.
From Beast to Beauty... Miss Teen USA 2009, as a matter of fact.  Stormi Henley comes in, dressed in a little Steven Tyler approved dress.  Singing something I don't know, she belts it out, and looks sounds hot great.   J-Lo says no, Steven Tyler says yes (of course he does) and Randy the Dawg gives his vote... a Yes.  I am digging the Stormi weather.

Nashville doesn't seem to be the talent pool we have seen in Milwaukee and New Orleans, as we see a No Montage.  Here is Adrienne Beasley, a black chick adopted by two older white people.  They show her on a farm, riding with hay trucks, driving a tractor, picking corn, praying with the family.  That's fantastic.

The Lovely Steph Leann is happy that not only Adrienne is singing "American Honey" by Lady Antebellum, but also happy that I recognized the song right off the bat.  And Adrienne sounds great... she's what chick black country is to Darius Rucker is to dude black country.  I'm a fan, and so are the judges, as she gets three YES votes.

On to Break!

Back from Break!

Kameela has been singing since she was a little girl.  This is her dream.  She wants to sing for the world.  Tonight, she's singing "Sweet Thing" by Chaka Khan... and I knew it was coming.  It is awful.  I mean, really, really awful.  It was pretty horrendous.  Randy the Dawg tells her it was horrible, Steven Tyler tells her to go home and practice and J-Lo says no way.

Here's someone in a blue outfit, like a reject from The Blue Man Group.  Here's a dang fer-ahner.  And here's a country boy.  All equally terrible.  The country boy walks out to no one waiting, and starts crying.  The Lovely Steph Leann yells, "Oh, the horror!  Its horrible!  Ohmigah!!!"

This is Jackie Wilson.  But not the one that
auditioned.  Just so you know.
And now Jackie Wilson (no, not the black dude from the 50s that sang "Lonely Teardrops") is singing something fun, and was doing well even in the high note.  J-Lo whips around, looking behind her and grimaced.  But it works somehow, and she goes onto Hollywood.  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Dear Jackie... don't be sexy.  Longer skirt.  Longer skirt." 

And now, without ado, here is LaToya Moore.  She's a recording artist, from Nashville, and she sees herself as a star... people see a glow about her.  This is going to be a train wreck... I'm excited.  She's even holding a CD with her picture on it.  And she brings it into the judges... "This is my album, and I brought you one to share."

"Younique" Moore is her nickname... and she is definately Younique.  And it was awful, just like I thought, no, I hoped it would be.  And Younique wants to sing another song, and can't believe she wasn't picked for Hollywood... and she leaves singing, stopping at the door.  Randy the Dawg says, "Its... still a no." 

She is still singing as she walks out, and tells Seacrusty that "They would have liked it better if I sang a little slower".

Paul McDonald sings "Maggie May" and sounds... well, cool.  Jimmie Allen sings something else, and sounds... great.  Danny Pate sings "Papa was a Rolling Stone" and sounds... rockin'.  And they all head to Hollywood.

Matt Dillard, from right outside of Nashville, is 27, and is a foster father of special needs kids.  Like, a brood of them.  His family has hosted over 700 children in the last 23 years, and wow, talk about being inspired.  Watch The Blind Side after this, and I might head to Ensley and find us an orphan.

"You Raise Me Up", one of my least favorite songs, is being sung, and Matt is doing it all kinds of justice.  Sounds great.  He kinda looks like Daughtry's really odd little brother.  Randy the Dawg says yes, reluctantly.  J-Lo says no.  Steven Tyler says Yes, of course. 

Sob Story Alert!!  Finally, here is Lauren Alaina, who is 15 years old, and she's been singing all her long life.  All fifteen years.  And her best friend and cousin Holly is featured, and of course, Holly has been diagnosed with a brain tumor.   She has had chemo, so it seems like Holly will be okay... and long haired, red headed Holly comes in, healthy. 

I am not familiar with the song, but man, it was great.  Randy the Dawg said, "Best I've seen today!" and J-Lo tears up.  Steven Tyler tells Lauren its okay to cry because "you are going to make 40 million people cry".  One-two-three YES!  The whole family comes in, and Lauren sings "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" because its her parents song too... Steven Tyler jumps in.  Its a warm moment.

Melanie just texted me:  "Seen Idol yet?  I bet you a 15 year old wins it this year"
I replied: "With 322 of them in the contest, it's a good bet."

Next week... on to Texas!

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