The 100 Coolest Things of 2007... 90 to 81

Continuing the Top 100 Coolest Things About 2007, according to Dave. Cause its my blog.

#90. Wendi Deckermiller. She was my friend at Troy State back in the day, and she's my friend now. She frequently comments on the blog, and has taken some great photographs as part of her hobby. Bottom line is, she's just cool. Hence, the 90th coolest of 2007.

#89. "Barack the Magic Negro". Before I'm branded as the biggest racist you know, let's get one thing clear... it was David Ehrenstein, a columnist for the LA Times, who called Barack Obama "The Magic Negro". Then, its was Sen. Joe Biden (D-MD) who said Obama was "...the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy...". So what did my boy Rush Limbaugh do? He called up comedian Paul Shanklin, who, impersonating Reverend Al Sharpton, sang a little ditty called "Barack the Magic Negro", to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon".

And its one of the funniest things I've ever heard... of course, what's even funnier is that the media, and especially "unbiased" sites like The Daily Kos and Media Matters went nuts, calling Rush every racist name in the book, but never mentioning Ehrenstein (the source) or even Biden (who's comments I would have been totally offended at).

If you know anything about Al Sharpton, the fact that its Al Sharpton singing, plus the fact he's using a bullhorn is absolutely hysterical. Here's a video from You Tube which is equally as funny.

And for all you Democrats who think this is racist, then tell you what... you back off Condi Rice, especially with those "brown sugar" cartoons, (ladies & gentlemen, your tolerant, compassionate, fighting for equality and the poor Democrats in action!) and I won't laugh at Barack the Magic Negro.

#88. "What If?" by Robert Cowley. So what would have happened if Hitler refrained from attacking Russia, saving his army and instead took the Middle East and captured the oil? What would have happened if D-Day had failed? What would have happened in the Civil War if the plans that Robert E. Lee lost, plans that were found by the Union and used to decimate the Confederacy, weren't lost? These and several other questions are asked in this book, and to answer them, historians such as Stephen Ambrose and David McCollough use speculation to give you a present now that could be, resulting from a past that could have gone differently. I personally love to play the "what if?" game, and this book was absolutely fascinating.

My favorite of the bunch is "Unlikely Victory: 13 Ways the Americans Could Have Lost the Revolution", which really paints a picture that truly the Americans didn't win the war, so much as the English bungled it up from the start, and one of more than a dozen things could have gone differently and we might all be speaking the Queen's English, driving on the other side of the road and July 4th wouldn't be as busy at Disney World. Good stuff.

#87. Solitairy. Its a stupid show on Fox Reality, a channel I don't even get amongst the 200 that I do. I only know about it from the free episode that got me hooked... nine contestants are each placed in a solitairy room, and throughout a series of obstacles, challenges, lack of sleep, lack of any good food, and so on, they begin to drop out one by one. The narrator is a chick named Val, who sounds just feminine enough to be a woman, yet still sounds like a robot. She talks to the contestants, pits them against each other and really tortures them--well, by the Democrats version of torture. I'm sure all 9 could be put in Club Gitmo, with their 3 or 4 square meals per day, work out rooms, religious freedoms and supplies and... oh, here I go again.

Anyway, the hilarious part is the winner gets... $50,000. Not a million, like Survivor. Not up to a million like Deal or No Deal. Not $500K or so, like Amazing Race. No, 50K. All this for fifty thousand, of which after taxes, you'll be looking at about $27,000, which is still a lot of money, but not really. The show is funny, and I enjoyed it. Looking forward to season three.

#86. Classic videos on iTunes. So, I'm flipping though the iTunes video section one day, and was startled... I found Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby", AND Wilson Phillips' "Hold On" on the same day, and all this was even after I had downloaded "Hazard" by Richard Marx (the sheriff did it! the sheriff killed Mary, I'm certain!!). All the links, by the way, are to the You Tube videos, which I highly recommend.

However, the coup de gras has to be "Don't Make Me Wait for Love", by Kenny G, from the album Duotones. Just the fact it starts out with a big fro'd Kenny getting out bed, shirtless, in long pajama pants to walk out on the beach porch at sunrise, then to see his silhouette with a saxophone.... high, high, high comedy. What's worse is that this is a rare Kenny G tune where there is a vocalist (Lenny Williams) and you NEVER see him in the video. This might be the best purchase under $4 I've ever made... well, except when I bought Smooth Love Jams of the 90s for $3.99 used. (and I know none of you think I'm kidding... and you'd be right)

FYI, I found this image online. However, I totally have the tape, and remember jamming (okay, can you use the word jamming when talking about Kenny G?) to it while traveling to Enterprise or Dothan in high school.

Anyway, I expect all of you to watch this, then report back to me.

And while we're at it, heck, here's a link to my favorite video of ever all time.... my favorite for so many reasons, not the least of which includes Keanu answering "Have you ever been in love?" with "If I was, I didn't know it..." (if this ever makes it on iTunes, I'd be hard pressed not to put it in the Top 10 Coolest of that Year)

#85. Drive. So, I see ads for this show all during January and February. Something about a man who's family is kidnapped, and the only way to get them back is to win this cross country race. But lo and behold, each and every participant has their own story, and each are forced to win the race to win back what they lost. Its gripping, its exciting, its interesting and... Fox canceled it after only a few episodes. Of course. This show had the potential to be a Top 50 Coolest... but I never got to see what happened. Because they never finished the story. Because either Fox wants "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?" to succeed, America wants to watch such shows instead of great programming like "Drive", or both. Sigh.

#84. "The Reminder" by Feist. Yes, yes, she's the chick who sings "1-2-3-4, tell me that you love me more" from the Apple Nano commercials, which gives you a clip of the superb video. It was shot all in one take, if you can believe that. Anyway, Leslie Feist is a Canadian singer who's third album, "The Reminder" has been boosted by that very commercial. But beyond "1-2-3-4", the whole album is a gem, and truly is what I was hoping KT Tunstall's album, "Eye to the Telescope" would have been last year. Favorite track? "Brandy Alexander", right now... its fun, its classy, its talented. You can get this cd at Best Buy for like, ten bucks. Go for it.

#83. Manda Laughlin. One of my kids from WalkAbout, back in the day, who's grown up to be this beautiful young lady, graduating and heading off to college, and ya know, I think we might just be friends beyond "you used to be my student". Do you know Amanda? You're better for it.


Ya know, it was hard finding a picture of Amanda by herself... I had to flip through her Facebook photos--and yes, I realize that might be a little creepy. Anyway, I thought this was a good shot, though I didn't take it... had I've taken it, it wouldn't have been as light as it is, cause I have the cool camera and all and... wait... where was I?.

#82. Boise State over Oklahoma. In possibly one of the best games I've ever seen, and I only say the second half, little Boise State from the WAC Conference took on big bad Oklahoma, from the Big XII, and was, like, a 422 point underdog. And one game, an overtime and a play called "Statue of Liberty", and the Broncos come out 43-42 winners (plus one of the main guys--something Johnson--proposed to the freakin' head cheerleader after the game). This is why I love college football.

#81. Todd on Survivor. Let's face it... the Survivor in the spring of 2007 was really boring. Really boring. I keep watching though, knowing that the time for Survivor is limited, perhaps one or two more seasons left... but this past season, Survivor China, was fantastic. And mostly, it falls on the shoulders of a little gay Mormon named Todd Herzog. He'd been watching Survivor since he was 14, and at the Reunion Show, he laid out for the world everything--he had a game plan, he knew who to bring in, who to betray, who to align himself with, who to get voted off, who to get to vote off who he was getting voted off, who to shift blame to, who to lie to, and it was hilarious. This kid had it down to a tee. And he's a million dollars richer.

Coming up: The stink called The Golden Compass, a movie so bad its Superbad and... Kdub

Reality Roundup Part 3: Solitary Amazing Race

Here's our final part of the "catch-up" from last week, after being at The Happiest Place on Earth... we've covered Idol, we've covered Survivor (featuring JT from Samson). Our last stop, at least for these batch of episodes, is The Amazing Race, followed by a television oddity called "Solitairy".

I've been watching The Amazing Race since its 3rd or 4th inception, and while it sometimes lacks the drama of Survivor, it is an equally good show... perhaps in some ways, better. I've often told The Lovely Steph Leann that were I given a choice, I would probably go on The Amazing Race for one factor only... its not a social game. What I love about Survivor is that not only do you have to be skillful in challenges, you have to play a people game--while that is fun to watch, I'm not so sure I'd be crazy about being in the midst of it. With The Amazing Race, its not social... its "first one there wins, last one there is out". Its a race, pure and simple. Oh, socialability plays into it, as there are many times you have to deal with other teams, negotiate, even help each other out, but for the most part, its "get there fastest, and your safe".

Don't get me wrong, though--if given a chance on Survivor, I'd be on that faster than President B. Hussein Obama would sign more legislation to take my hard earned tax dollars to give to someone who doesn't work. And if you think that I took way to long on that analogy because I'm a little bitter, than... you'd be right.

(searching the DVR for The Amazing Race... flipping past other programs that have been recorded already... flipping past "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"... flipping past "Pan's Labrynth"... flipping past some ridiculous Hallmark movie The Lovely Steph Leann recorded... flipping past three episodes of WWE Raw... flipping plast eight episodes of "Great Weekends With Samantha Brown"--oh, I do love me some Samantha Brown...)

(still searching, beginning to be concerned... and... sigh... I knew I didn't set the DVR to record last night's episode of The Amazing Race, but surely I set it to record the first one, last Sunday while The Lovely Steph Leann and I were watching "Wishes", the incredible fireworks display at The Happiest Place on Earth)

(has now come to the sad conclusion that I've missed the first two episodes of The Amazing Race... and also sad with the knowledge that while Survivor is available on CBS' website and on iTunes--how I watched the first episode last night--for whatever reason, The Amazing Race isn't available anywhere)

Well, this just sucks. So... I guess I'll surf on over to EW.com and read what I missed. Oh, but good news... there's only been one single episode! Here's the recap from the episode, and apparently I missed what might have been one of the greatest challenges in The Amazing Race history... says EW:

The best Detours and Roadblocks are the ones that truly break their contestants. Learning a local dance? Feh. Eating a big pizza? Phooey. Being briefly driven underwater in a Jeep? Back to Feh. But this was something special. Each team had to climb to a cheese ''aging shack'' at the top of a large, slippery hill, and then collectively carry four 50-pound wheels of cheese down the hill on an incredibly rickety backpack-type contraption. At first it seemed like it would be a simple relay race of brute strength, but then the carnage started.

The cheese was heavy, the backpacks were fragile, and the hill was slippery with wet grass and animal poop. It was glorious. The cheese racks splintered into pieces, and the cheese fell to the ground and roll all the way down the hill into the woods at great speeds. At one point Luke lost his balance and his legs began pinwheeling down the mountain as he desperately tried to keep upright, until he finally tumbled to the grass, his cheese flying out of his hands. Mel, who had said he'd prepped for the trip by doing pushups and sit-ups, suffered a groin injury and could only slowly inch down the hill on his butt, cheese in his lap: if only he'd done some groin-ups! And all the while, locals below laughed and laughed, much like the Russian marching band when frat guy Dan attempted to master marching last season.

Its a shame I missed it...

That brings us to Solitary, or as this season is called, Solitary 3.0--meaning the third season. Now this is a show you can only catch on Fox Reality (unless you download it, which I had to do with the first episode, to watch on The Happiest Interstate in Florida to The Happiest Place on Earth). The fact that its on Fox Reality should tell you something... shows that appear on this channel, and shows that keep getting renewed to appear on this channel are bottom feeding shows that you wouldn't believe.

For example, if one were to flip to Fox Reality right now, channel 250 on DirecTV, you'd be treated to a few hours of "Divorce Court", followed by "Ex-treme Dating", a show in which people are paired up with former loves, then "The Worlds Most Incredible Animal Rescues" and "Real Stories of the Highway Patrol". Later, "Smile Your Under Arrest" and "Battle of the Bods".

I think I discovered Solitary on iTunes during one of those "free episode" chances... it actually turned up as the 87th Coolest Thing of 2007, and you'll want to flip to this link to not only read up on this, but also for #86, where you'll see a link to one of my favorite music videos ever, Kenny G's "Don't Make Me Wait For Love"... I mean, the manifest destiny potential of this clip is just unchartable. Seriously.

Now, we've already had a few episodes of this show go by, so I'll give you the best recap I can... the first episode does something no other season has done--they are blindfolded upon being put in their "pod", that being the little room they'll be confined in, and when they pull their blindfolds off, they see another contestant in front of them. The pods are octagonal, with one little "food slot", or door they open to get something to eat, or whatever else they have to use. There is another little "isolation room" they have for bathroom use, and on the wall is a green button and a red button. At any time, if they choose to quit, they can press the red button. The green button is only used when they finish a challenge.

We have Katie, 19, an actress... we have Jennifer, 36, a chainsmoking pin up model... big tattooed Jason, 30, a bouncer... we have Jen, 38, a web designer... we have Ceon, a senior citizens home director... Maureen, 31, a former tv reporter, and so far, my personal favorite and possibly the hottest... Andrew, 20, a college student... Rob, 38, a computer programmer, and a guy who loves this show so much, he built his own pod at home... then there is Karrie and Trizz, who's ages and professions I didn't get.

Anyway, the first challenge for them to do laps around the small room, with the floor being covered in rocks. They complete as many as they can with shoes, then with only socks, then barefoot, each in 30 minute intervals. First they face off, pod vs pod, then finally, with 10 contestants and only 9 pods, the first to get bounced is 38 year old Jen.

And here's the Pod Rundown... #1 Pod Jen, the pin up model, is obsessed with serial killers. #2 Ceon runs a home for senior citizens. #3 Katie is a 19 year old kickboxing streaking actress. #4, RobRob, is stupid just cause he goes by that name. #5 is Maureen, who I did, even though I'm usually not an Asian chick fan. #6, Trizz, 27, is a cashier, a former foster child, hates technology and loves chick flicks. #7 is Andrew, 20, and an ametuer magician. #8, Karrie, is 28 and had a husband died in jail. And finally, #9, Jason, the bouncer, who loves bacon and hates old people.

Val, the computer voice who tells them what to do, gives them a chocolate bar for dinner, and then makes it about 98 degrees in the pod. Consider they also have not slept for over 24 hours. All for $50,000. This is a show I would not go on.

The first challenge involves a stool. They sit on the small wooden stool for an half an hour, or so, no big deal, even though they aren't allowed to put their feet on the footrest. Well, the next hour, they have to sit on a bicycle seat for half an hour. Then, for the next round, its a bowling ball for 45 minutes. This looks very, very painful...

Finally... they have to sit on a small round stool, perhaps four inches in diameter, for 60 minutes. To quit, you press the red button--but the trick is, you don't know if anyone else has pressed the red button yet, so if you can't take it, you can gamble that someone else has already quit. Within 60 seconds, Trizz, Katie and Big Jason pressed the red button... but its whoever is first that is gone. Trizz is now gone, the #6 pod goes dark.

Having been awake for over 40 hours, a bed slides out from the wall. They all get excited, but beware... I've seen Val give them as few as 10 minutes of sleep--without telling them they only get 10... this time, they get 30, before being rudely awakened by a loud alarm. We do this whole "speak to your loved one" for a segment (blah) and then onto the next challenge... in the pod, there are 8 weights, each with the exact weight of another contestant. They must match up each pod's contestant with each weight... there are over 40,000 possibilities... though knowing their own weight, it reduces the possibilities to only 5,000. Of course, several of them are getting their own weight wrong.

Finally, Val relents and instead of telling them "incorrect", she'll tell them "incorrect, you have four correct". Over 45 hours with only 30 minutes sleep, a chocolate bar to eat, and three hours into this challenge, #2 Ceon gets it right, only a few minutes before #1 Jen gets it right.

The next challenge is a big bowl of white rice... with one grain of orange rice. Using chopsticks, without tipping the big bowl over, find the orange grain and hold it up. RobRob, #4, finds it, but not before #2, Ceon, holds it up, making it 2 for 2 in challenges. His reward is a big plate of teriyaki chicken and rice--sometimes the rewards are pretty good, actually.

Everyone else wanders around their pod being silly, hungry, tired and stupid. And the next challenge is a pinching one. The contestants are required to place harsh metal pinchers on their body all over, in specific directed places, from faces to thighs to legs to arms to stomachs to fingers... Ceon, #2, gets to skip the challenge and also gets to make another (he chooses #9 Jason) put on 2 extra clips.

And the clips go on. My dear #5 Maureen, starts with her stomach. Others go for the legs. Some on shoulders. Another goes for his knees. Imagine a potato chip bag clip, times a thousand.

So, Fox Reality is showing all these shows that probably cost next to nothing to make, and seriously, how much could the syndication rights to "Celebrity Mugshots Exposed" actually cost? And yet, only $50K to the winner.

Karrie, #1, puts the clips on her fingers... bad, bad news. Ten clips, twelve clips, fifteen clips. Forty in all. Jen, #1, puts clips on her fingers too. Very bad. And finally, #1 Jen pushes the red button, hoping that someone else had done the same thing. The #1 pod goes dark, and red headed pin up model Jennifer leaves forever.

The bad thing about this challenge is not just the clips, but what happens when you pull them off. After so long on the skin, the skin deadens, but when the clips come off, blood rushes to the area and it causes great, great pain.

Alright, well, 2 episodes in, and I have 3 more to catch up on... and I'm not going to watch them all right now, frankly cause I want to do some other stuff.

Tonight... American Idol's first 12 contestants sing, and apparently, the top 3 go on to the Finals. And coming Sunday, the annual Oscar running diary... until then...

Summer Reviewin'

I was lovin' my summer, let me tell ya... movies, books, music, friends, food, even more! So, before I forget it all, here's a quick rundown of things watched, read, eaten, spent time with and so on:

Summer Movies:
Surf's Up... actually not a bad movie. It was second in a double feature, so we watched it for free, and was pleasantly surprised. Shia LaBeouf is the voice of Cody, a penguin who loves to surf.

Transformers... speaking of Shia, he did quite well headlining this feature, based on the 80s toys. Sam (Shia) buys a car to impress a chick (Megan "She's a Total" Fox) only to find out the car is a robot, an Autobot, to be exact, one of sent to Earth. This movie freakin' rocked, surpassing all of my expectations.

Spiderman 3... Ehh.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End... Much better than the second one.

Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix... This movie was awesome. I had high hopes for the movie, as it was my favorite of the books, and it delivered. Evanna Lynch was perfect as Luna Lovegood, and the climax of the film was great.

The Bourne Ultimatum... My favorite of the Bourne movies. Well paced, fast action, great plot, great turns by both Matt Damon and the supporting cast, including Joan Allen, Chris Cooper and Julia Stiles.

Live Free or Die Hard... John McClane is just awesome. He kills a copter with a car. A car. He runs out of bullets, you see... Bruce Willis is an icon. This one is better than the third one.

Knocked Up... Raunchy, but funny. Really, really funny. Katherine Hiegl is worth the price of admission.

Superbad... Raunchy, but funny. Really, really funny. Seth Rogan is worth the price of admission.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer... this was kind of a crappy movie, but crappy in a good way. It was only 90 minutes, which was a perfect length. Jessica Alba is still a terrible Sue Storm.

Bug... Holy crap. I only went to see it because My Hollywood Goddess was in it. However, if someone who's seen this film calls you and says "hey, you should come over and watch it!", you say no, then you quit being their friend, because they don't love you.

Oceans 13... Not a bad flick. Not quite as much of a inside-joke movie as Oceans 12, thereby its a little funnier, while Oceans 11 is still the best of the three.

Books I've Managed to Read:
To Catch a Predator by Chris Hanson... perhaps you've heard of the Dateline NBC running show of the same name--well, this is that show in book form, but more in depth. Not only does it give you some background to some of the sting operations, but tells some other personal stories of people who've faced internet predator tragedies.

King Dork by Frank Portman... Ya know, I really wanted to like this book, but ended up being halfway through it, and forcing myself to finish because I'd invested several hours into it. The ending wasn't too bad, but I was glad this high school tale of loserdom and friendship and music was over when it was.

Don't Eat This Book by Morgon Spurlock... Its the same guy who did the fantastic doc "Super Size Me", and he relays alot of this into this movie. Its starts out great, documenting the days leading up to his movie, but it bogs down greatly in the middle, playing politics and placing alot of blame on various entities and government organizations.

The Myth of You and Me by Leah Stewart... I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I really liked this chick book. I mean, its the story of the friendship between Cameron and Sonia, and how it all goes bad years later, but I found it not just amusing but... touching? Sweet? Poignant? I'm going to go slam my hand in the car door now.

Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton... a book I read for work. My strengths? Postivity is number one, followed by strategery, then communication, beliefs and connectedness. Sounds like me, I reckon.

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows... might have been the best book I've read in years. Absolutely stunning and brilliant.

The Shining by Stephen King... as a teenager, this book scared the begeezus out of me. Rereading it in one weekend this summer, I found that it didnt scare me like before, but it was a lot smarter, and the characters much richer and in depth than I remember. Great book.

Two books I tried to read, but couldn't finish, though I may try again soon:
Unlikely Angel: The Story of the Atlanta Hostage Hero by Ashley Smith... when I feel like I might be smarter than the author, it's not a good thing. I'm halfway through it, so I'll probably end up finishing it.
The Innocent Man by John Grisham... I love me some CSI, and Cold Case Files and all that, but this book is a little trying on my short attention span.

Summer Music:
"Taylor Swift" by Taylor Swift
"Wake Up Laughing" by Martina McBride
"The Part Where You Let Go" by Hem (the new Liberty Mutual commercial)
"Give It To Me" by Timbaland, Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake
"The Story" by Brandi Carlile
"The Game" by Motorhead (Triple H's theme song)
"Trapped in the Drive Thru" by Weird Al (you've GOT to see the video)

TV Shows That Nabbed Me This Summer:
Mythbusters. I've always liked this show, but its gotten better over time
Solitairy. Its a show on Fox Reality, and I have to watch it on iTunes. Its like a car wreck... I can't turn away
Greek. Another show I watch on iTunes, airing on ABC Family. Its clever, funny and sweet.
The Starter Wife. It was a limited series, but it was fabulous. Debra Messing is like standing next to Ashley Judd, ready to step in as My Hollywood Goddess if Ashley is unable to fulfill her responsibilities.
Pardon the Interruption. Wilbon and Kornheiser might be the best sports duo since Latta and McRee

New Things Discovered This Summer:
Wendi Deckermiller's desk photography. Its fun. Its simple. Its good.
Meredith McQ's blogpage. She just started it, so this is more promotion than anything
Amy Farris. Country chick with bluegrass influence

So, that's been my summer. Expect some of these things to show up on 100 Coolest Things About 2007, coming in December. And coming this weekend... the Dave100 continues with #94 through possibly #85 (gotta get this thing going!)