Thursday, July 15, 2010

Pensacola Boobage (and other thoughts on the road)

Coming to you live from the Courtyard Marriott right by the water here in Pensacola...

Once a month, The Lovely Steph Leann has to come down here for work, and sometimes I come with her too--and tomorrow, we get up early and drive for mid-Florida.

The road trip here was uneventful...  she slept for much of it while I drove and caught up on Rush Limbaugh episodes, made good time on the trip.  The problem was, we were in a one-way rental from The Ham to here... and they gave us a great little Honda Civic.  Except whoever used it before was either one heckuva chain smoker or it had been a "smoker's car" for quite a while.  I have emphysema and The Lovely Steph Leann is already showing signs of Hodgkin's Lymphoma, but I think we'll be okay.  Almost feel like they said "this car stinks... get it off the lot... give to the two people who are dropping it off in Pensacola, they can have it..."

Went to Hemingway's tonight for dinner.  We are vacationing starting tomorrow--or tonight, even--with The Lovely Steph Leann's parents, Big Daddy Ron and Mama Ruthless, so we had some seafood.  The food was great, as usual, as I ate something called "trigger fish", whatever that is.  The calamari is amazing, as they cook it in this honey glaze sauce, and it would have been perfect except for the fact that I had to share it with not only The Lovely Steph Leann but Big Daddy Ron as well.  Then she got a slight bit snippy when I got a forkful of her lobster bisque.

Ended up at Wal-Mart.  Everyone does.

On the way back to the hotel, there was a slightly larger chick and a dude... well, I only saw them for a few seconds, but it was enough to know that his name was probably Ray or Bubba and her roots were showing through her dye job.  Anyway, as we drove up to them, I noticed they were hugging.  And then as we were passing by, I saw... a boob.  I don't know if she was mad at him and slapped him and he did it on purpose, or he just did it to be funny and she was hitting him in retaliation, but either way, her little blue top slipped down and her left babythirster dropped right out.  Saw it only for one single second, but it was enough for me to grimace, throw up in my mouth and shiver. Eew.   Like, seriously, eew.

The Cabana is getting an inside paint job.  We'll have some people over to the house to do our living room and our kitchen, and let me tell ya, paint is expensive.  I'm excited though, because since The Cabana was a spec house, the paint is a flat, dull latex.  That means if you just give the wall the stink eye, its going to smear and smudge.  We got something called "Duration", which I tested in the store.  I drew on it with a magic marker, though not a Sharpie (that would be the ultimate test), and wiped it off with water.  But its all still expensive.

We haven't hung anything on our walls yet, in the 29 months we've lived here.  I've said over and over, "The Lovely Steph Leann, lets go ahead and hang stuff on the walls now, so if you don't like it, we can take it down, spackle the hole, and hang it elsewhere.  When it gets painted for real, it will cover up the mistake."  I get the "yeah yeah", which means, "Yes, I know, we should do that, what a great idea my wonderful, good lookin' man!" but we haven't done it.  And that means that once stuff goes on the walls this time, its on the wall.  Done.  I'm not taking it down, I'm not repainting.

One of the worst things a guy can be asked is, "Which color looks better?"  Two colors, almost perfectly matched, one a little lighter than the other... my thoughts are simply, "Either way is fine."  When a guy says this, he usually means, "Either way is fine."  Which means, pick the lighter one, and its okay.  Pick the darker one, and its okay.  I'll be okay with this or that.  You didn't do some outlandish, freakish, gay rainbow color, you did this simple color and whatever you think looks good, go with it.

She forced my hand.  Finally, I went with the darker one.  And this weekend, the lighter one is being painted on our walls. Ah marriage.

So it's now 10:01pm here at the Pensacola Marriott.   The Dave100's 53rd ranked movie is on, and its a good time to crawl into the bed and get some sleep... we'll be up at blue:thirty to head out, down I-10, taking a right at I-75 and a left on the Florida turnpike. 

Yes, yes, its hot, I know this.  Try to get a report next week...


  1. I know exactly what you mean about the flat paint in the spec house. We have two kids under the age of five, and the walls are covered in things Jackson Pollock would be jealous of.

  2. I need that Duration paint if water takes off a magic marker. With little kids, my walls look, well, sorta how you described accidentally seeing the boob.

    BTW, I like the marriage posts and the insight you give into a man's mind. I especially like the where are we going to dinner post. It was definitely me and Daniel all over.


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