The 100 Coolest Things of 2008... 60 thru 51

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And we'll continue our annual list of the Top 100 Coolest Things of 2008...
The Introduction and Recap
The 100th thru 91st Coolest Things of 2008
The 90th thru 81st Coolest Things of 2008
The 80th thru 71st Coolest Things of 2008
The 70th thru 61st Coolest Things of 2008

WARNING... There are three videos that I would rate as PG-13 on today's blog. You can probably find uncensored versions of them on YouTube, but the ones you'll see here aired on network tv at one time or another--including the "F" word being bleeped about, oh, four dozen times. So, Emmy Turnbow, it might be good to not click on the videos involving Matt Damon & Ben Affleck...

60. Melissa Robillard
She's the WalkAbout mom of the year (last year's honor went to Paula Maddox, one of The Coolest Things of 2007). Anyway, she rocks. I (heart) this chick.

59. "Carrie" by Stephen King
Having been an avid reader of Stephen King since I was in junior high school, I've read just about all of his early works--"Firestarter", "Pet Semetary", "Christine", "Night Shift" and more--but somehow "Carrie" evaded me. Strange, because its one of his thinnest novels, and really, took about two days, mostly because I read 30 minutes here, 20 minutes there and so on.

Carrie is a strange little book. Its almost pieced together like a scrapbook, and were it made into a movie other than the John Travolta/Sissy Spacek classic, it might have been a docu/mockumentary of some sort. Filled with fictional documents, it uses "interviews", "book excerpts", "transcripts" and "newspaper clippings" that give the background of the "tragic events of Chamberlain, Maine", all to tell the story of Carrie White, a lonely 17 year old girl who has special telekentic powers that she is only beginning to understand.

She's tormented by her classmates and even worse, tortured by her crazy mother. Anyway, it progresses on and on, until a prank goes awry and gets carried away at prom, and Carrie decides "enough is enough".

I also said this on November 19th... I dare say despite all of King's bad guys in all of his books, Chris Hargensen may be the most rotten villian overall... she's not possessed, she's not risen from a grave, she's not a zombie... she's just really, really mean.

If you like horror novels, give it a read.

58. Investigation Discovery
The Discovery Channel has lots and lots of offshoot channels on expanded cable, like Discovery Health, Discovery Science, Discovery Kids, Discovery Food, Discovery Global Warming, Discovery Britney Spears and more... but my favorite? Investigation Discovery.

Anyone who has read this blog for very long will know my love for forensic shows and crime documentary stuff... this channel is chock full of them. Twenty four hours a day of shows like "Solved", "Most Evil", "Justice Files", "The New Detectives" and even better, repeats of "48 Hours" (they have relabeled them "48 Hours: Hard Evidence) and of course "Dateline NBC".

The Lovely Steph Leann and I have about 877 channels on DirecTV right now, and a year later, I have yet to learn most of the numbers. I know ESPN is 206. I know USA is 242. I know The Travel Channel is 277. I know the movie channels start with HBO on 501. And I know that Investigation Discovery is on 285. I know this because I watch it often.

57. "The Green Mile" by Stephen King
I know, I know, we've already had a King novel on this same post, and yes, I'll admit, I have read this before (this issue will pop up again later), but here's what I wrote on November 19th:

After I finished "Carrie", for some reason, I immediately went to "The Green Mile". This was a novel that came out in the mid-90s, in a style that was a throwback to the way many books were published... a few chapters at a time.

The first book, "Two Dead Girls", was only about 100 pages and I remember buying it in Troy's Wal-Mart in March of 1996. I was intrigued because it was so small, and figured I could read it pretty quickly--which I did. The next book, "The Mouse on the Mile" came out at the end of April, and so on monthly, until the final volume, Part 6, "Coffey on the Mile" was released in August of 96.

I remember liking the story a whole lot back then, and was excited to pick it up again. And it was amazing. Seriously... I don't remember much of what I re-read, perhaps having seen the movie so many times. By the way, the movie is just incredible too, a Dave100 pick, so I highly recommend it.

But the novel goes into so much more detail, as novels tend to do as they've got a length advantage over movies. You get more backstory, you care more about the characters, and though I still could see Tom Hanks and David Morse in the part of Edgecombe and Brutal, the best... worst... part was Percy Whitmore. He perhaps rivals Chris Hargensen as the meanest King villian, even worse that Wild Bill in the story.

56. Leading FPU Again
I love Financial Peace University. In 2008, The Lovely Steph Leann and I became debt free, and part of it was due to what we had learned from Dave Ramsey's ministry, including what we went through in Financial Peace University, ie, FPU.

Over several years now, we've been able to not only put people through it, but help to lead it in small group settings as well. It seems like each week gets better than the previous, each year gets better than the last. And this year, I was lucky/blessed enough to not only share my testimony, but help guide my friends Croyle & Britlicious. KT and J Rob, Paulie Walnuts & Sammi, but I also got to lead a group that include more friends, including Little Sister Ashley.

The bonus was the new people I met, including sister of Amy Mac, that being Jenn Smith, and her husband Michael. I was able to get Jenn a job later at The Happiest Place in the Mall a few months later, and a friendship was cemented.

Wanna know how the Financial Peace Plan works? Ask. I'd love to see you be debt free too.

55. "Grey's Anatomy"
The Lovely Steph Leann and I have a DVD tradition with a few shows, as in, we don't watch them on network tv, we wait until the season comes in, then watch the whole season over the course of a few weeks, as in the case of CSI... or in a few days, as in the case of "Grey's Anatomy".

Patrick Dempsey, a charter member of The Colin Firth Club, keeps The Lovely Steph Leann paying attention, while I can never decide between Christina, Meredith or Izzie... actually, I don't know who is hotter, or if any one of them are even attractive--its The McGriddle Effect in full effect, really...

The McGriddle Effect garners its name from my first time eating a McDonald's McGriddle breakfast sandwich. Its the weirdest thing, because you can taste the syrup filled pancake that makes the sandwich, and you can taste the sausage, and you can even taste the egg, and seemingly all at the same time. And I can't decide if its absolutely amazingly good... or one of the worst things I've ever eaten. There is no in between. Its not "eh" or "alright" or "so-so"... its either delicious or disgusting, and I am just not sure which one it is.

Such it is with Sandra Oh, Katherine Heigl and Ellen Pompeo. Personally, Kate Walsh, a one time Ashley Judd Club finalist, beats them all, but she was siphoned off to another show, "Private Practice" that I have tried to watch, but just don't care enough about.


Its the ending to Season 4, which we watched in pretty quick time

54. I'm... Matt Damon/I'm... Ben Affleck
So, in 2007, comedianne Sarah Silverman came on the Jimmy Kimmel Live late night show... she and Kimmel were dating at the time (I think they broke up) and she reveals that she... well, she and Matt Damon were together at one time. And another. And another.

Anyway, the language--lots of it--is bleeped out, which is why I'm okay posting it here... and maybe its bad that I think its hysterical (most things are, really), but wow, its hysterical.

So then, Jimmy Kimmel fires back. And he fires back bigtime... with Brad Pitt, Don Cheadle, Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz and an entire group that resembles USA for Africa during "We Are the World"... and Ben Affleck.

wondering where it is? well, when i post a video, i always make sure i check the quality of the clip on the site before i finish... and so i watched both videos, laughed again, and then noticed after the videos, the description of the video was right there, complete with the F-bomb and everything. i just felt funny leaving that there, so i pulled the videos down... however, if you go to YouTube and search "matt damon sarah silverman" and "jimmy kimmel ben affleck", you'll find it. just remember it is NOT SAFE FOR WORK or Emily Turnbow.

53. "Quantum of Solace"
For the record, I've never been a huge James Bond fan. I guess the early movies with Connery and Roger Moore were decent enough, but I thought Timothy Dalton was a terrible choice. Pierce Brosnan was pretty good, I guess, but it took Daniel Craig to actually turn me into a Bond fan.

"Casino Royale" was excellent. And "Quantum" was just as good, possibly better. Lots of action, very little of the silliness that makes Bond movies sometimes, like the goofy gadgets, the improbable cars and such... and perhaps the hottest Bond girl ever, Strawberry Fields.

Earlier today, I was coming downstairs to DVR the Baltimore/Pittsburgh game only to find The Lovely Steph Leann already setting up the DVR to record some show on Ovation called "Lost in Austen". I thought of Austin, TX, at first, though it didn't look right... then it hit me... Jane Austen. She said it looked like a good show. Imagine my surprise tonight when, while retrieving links for this blog post, I found that Strawberry Fields herself was Elisabeth Bennet in two episodes of "Lost In Austen". Perhaps this is a show we'll watch together.

52. "Bedtime Stories"
I was actually looking forward to this flick, and when it was released on Christmas Day, we made it one of our two part movie double feature (the other was Benjamin Button). I knew it would be silly, and I knew with the premise of the movie--Adam Sandler tells bedtime stories, and they come to life--the plot would be silly, borderline stupid.

You know what? I was pretty much right. And it was a great flick anyway. Its a fun film to watch while shoving popcorn in your mouth, slurping down overpriced Coke and munching on Twizzlers, my candy of choice at the movies.

Its clean, too. No bad situations, no bad language, heck, even Felicity manages to look cute, something she has a hard time doing in my opinion.

51. Ambre Lake on Rock of Love 2
So, I'm surfing through MySpace, and I hit upon the page of my friend Wendi Deckermiller, and her blog is discussing Ambre Lake, my friend from college and according to Wendi, new reality star.


I know what you are thinking... and no, I didn't "indirectly" kiss Bret Michaels. Or did I? Ha!

I flip to her website, and yes, its true... Ambre Lake is going to try and win the heart of Bret Michaels from Poison. Watching the episodes, I came away with three things...
1) I am not sure she initially wanted to win. Perhaps that changed later, but I think she just wanted some exposure.
2) She was actually respectable. That's a big difference from all the other girls on the show, who mostly acted like ho'bags and tramp vamps. Even my friends, the ones who knew and the ones who didn't, liked her the best.
3) Define surreal: Watching someone who you danced with to "You Were Meant For Me" at a fraternity formal over 10 years ago appear on a Vh1 reality show she's trying to win the affections of a rock star that was famous 20 years ago. That's surreal.

And she won.

Coming soon... Doctor Earl becomes an Angel, My favorite song of the year, and someone else gets a Pruitt Award.

It's Idol Time 2009, Part II (guest starring The Lovely Steph Leann)

Its the next night of the "2 night premier", which is really Fox's way of saying "we're going to have 2 episodes, but make sure we lump them together so that you can't miss a minute of all of it for more ad revenue!"

This.

Is American.

Idol.

Kansas City, home of David Cook... I'm here, its late, we're watching it on DVR, "we" being Yours Truly and The Lovely Steph Leann, blanket in hand, ready to cover her face when appropriate.

By the way, its Missouri, not Kansas, so get it right. The Dreadlocked One, Jason Castro, is here, because his brother is auditioning today. KT thinks he's legally handicapped, but The Lovely Steph Leann loves him.

Backstory! Right outta the gate... its Chelsea, talking about how powerful her voice is. And... The Lovely Steph Leann gasps. And I gasp. And Chelsea is awful, slaughtering Mariah's version of "Without You". Simon squints. "Make her stop" is the call from across the room, said at a painful whisper. Then, loudly, "PLEASE!!!" I kinda feel back for this chick, cause really, with her backstory she was sharing, it had us fooled... we thought she might be pretty good. And... no.

How does she have all these chick friends waiting for her, surprised she didn't make it! What were they telling her??

Ashley Anderson sings Leona Lewis, "Footprints in the Sand" though she sings "footsteps". Clever girl, as the song was co-written by Simon Cowell. Of course, if you change a comma to an apostrophe, you get a "co-written" credit. And she gets through, as well she should.

And we're back, with a commercial/ad with David Cook. Erin the Marine Wife is going nuts right about now.

Simon says, "I like Kansas alot". Remember what I said above.

Casey Carlson sings, "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton, and really good. One of my top 100 favorite songs ever, by the way. Shut up Wookiee, its a good song. Though when I sing it, I have to add in the piano tunes as well. It used to be my ringtone, actually. I said shut up, Wookiee! Casey makes it. I think she'll make the Top 12.

If Joey Fatone, the cool N*Sync'er not named Justin, gained about 40 pounds, he'd be this next guy. Complete with bad chest hair and strange leotard thing going on. Brian, his name, though it doesn't really matter, is destroying "Think" by Aretha. The Lovely Steph Leann has her face partially covered. It was terrible. Entertaining, but different. He actually says people compare him to Josh Groban and Michael McDonald... and of course, he starts singing, hoping against hope that they will say, "Whoa!? That's awesome! We change our minds!"

Now, a montage of crying contestants who sucked. One girl is screaming and stamping her feet. And screaming. And screaming.

Has "The Simpsons" really been on for twenty years?

And now people come up, trying to take familiar favorites and put their own twists on them... a'la David Cook doing Bon Jovi. Randy hides his eyes while some guy that I'm sure I saw Chris Hansen nail on "To Catch a Predator" kills X'tina's "Reflection".

Backstory! Von Smith, who attempts things no one attempts to sing--his words, not mine. "Over the Rainbow" is his song of choice. He clears his voice, clears it again, and then belts it out. This guy is no Kat McPhee. He's going for a "look what I can do!" instead of a "I can sing!". The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, "Gah, I would have hated to be in that room." He actually sounded decent when he wasn't screaming. The judges love his instrument, as they call it. So, dope voice and all (Randy), he goes to Hollywood.

Now, The Brother of The Dreadlocked One comes up for audition. Michael Castro, short hair, all spiked and pinkish... Melissa Clark, the Official Clouds in My Coffee Stylist, would be horrified. "In Love With the Girl" by Gavin DeGraw is his choice. Not too bad, he sounds like he could rock it out if he had to, perhaps when his vocals will be overtaken by the band. Simon says "good-ish". And just like that, The Brother of the Dreadlocked One gets through to Hollywood.

Here's another series of bad contestants. Guy in a yellow suit singing "Do You Want a Banana". That's an example.

Backstory! Gotee'd, bald dude with a wife and kid, he sings, he plays guitar, he's ready! Matt is a welder, and like everyone else in the entire world, he's been singing since he was a child. But he admits he wants to be successful to provide for his family. "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers... one of my 100 favorites. And, truthfully, I like this guy. Great version. Very raspy, though I can't help but picture Hugh Grant walking through Notting Hill in the film of the same name, in one of the best scenes ever. Though Randy says no, Simon and the chicks say yes, so Matt heads to Hollywood.

This chick is something something, but goes by the nickname Jazz. (Jasmine is her name). The Lovely Steph Leann says about the death of "Over the Rainbow": "She's scary". And she is. The Lovely Steph Leann twitches, which was honestly kinda funny. So, would the things at the bottom of her arms be called... "Jazz Hands"? Just fyi. The judges are silent, Jazz leaves.

Jessica, with guitar and a backstory, is actually kinda cute. Glasses, personality, old strange grandmother (though KT has my fave grandma of all... dementia does that). I want her to be good... please, please, please... "Crybaby" by Janis Joplin is her weapon of choice. She's really not singing it so much as she's talking loudly, in rhythm. Screaming worked for Von, so it works for Jessica Paige Furney too.

Lots of people in line just met, another lots of people came together... including the sisters who are auditioning together. And... they are rapping together. They say they are talented. India and Asia are their names... they are actually kinda funny, entertaining... rapping about a song called "Steal Your Cookies", dedicated to Randy. The jokes over, Asia sings for real... well, not for real. India sings next, much much better. By the way, they are funny together, because one is really big, one is really small. And India gets the yellow ticket. And dey mama just molest Ryan she did.

Jamar Rogers is up next, doing "California Dreamin'", another one of my favorites. Screaming again. This is where my tone hard of hearing comes in... I ask The Lovely Steph Leann, "Is he any good?" and she sighs and says, "I think they'll like him.". She's relieved when Kara says he was a big over the top--but he goes through.

Now, Jamar's best buddy Danny comes in. "Oh no, there's a backstory," I groan, and The Lovely Steph Leann chuckles, "Of course there is a backstory. Its American Idol." Danny has had an emotional sacrifice... his wife died a month ago. What? Holy poo... this is rough! He's on camera, tearing up, the few people around him are tearing up... "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" by Marvin Gaye is what he belts out... and I like him better than the other guy, Jamar. And they love the guy.

And he goes the wrong way to get out. The Lovely Steph Leann: "Is it so hard to go back the way you came in? I mean, the door is right there!"

Someone who looks an ugly Ambre Lake kills some song so bad Simon just laughs. Another one kicks Mariah Carey in the face. Another guy... wait, its a girl, belches out something. Oh, its old school Loretta Lynn's "Not Woman Enough (to take my man)".

"Thank You" by Boyz II Men is what Anoop Mamood Admadeinjad is singing. Or whatever his name is. Yes, I heard Pastor Calvin's lesson, shut up. Anyway, he's really good. And they are calling him Anoop Dogg. There's a nickname I don't have to make up, at least.

A pasty white girl is taking on Stevie. And another girls teeth almost came out of the screen and tried to kill me.

Can you imagine how hard it is for a producer on this show? All the people go through the producers first, and they make the decision to who to send in front of the judges... good and bad. You have to show impartiality, possibly making people who can't sing thing they can because they made it through. I'm thinking when I started putting syringes between my fingers, they'd notice something was up.

Oh, its a montage of costumes... ninjas, rabbits, cowgirls, pimps, chickens... and cheerleaders. They are doing a cheer for the next contestant, Andrew. This cannot be good for his prospects, at least with Simon. He's going to be singing "My Girl" by The Temptations. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it wasn't great. Randy says yes, then Paula asks him to sing something else... he sings "Ain't Too Proud to Beg", Paula tells him he's too theatrical, and then Randy changes his vote. That has to be a first...

Asa is a band director, musical and ready to go. Backstory! Kind of remindes me of the teacher guy, Anwar, from years ago. "The Way You Make Me Feel" by Michael Jackson (again, good, not as creepy MJ) is his song, and he's getting it on. Go Asa! One of my favorite contestants so far this season...

Michael Nicewonder is coming up, wearing a medal that he won in vocals in elementary school, with a fortune cookie fortune slip taped to the back. "My mother doesn't think I can sing, but I'm gonna prove her wrong". He's going to sing an original song. I just chewed my tongue. The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, "Generally if your mom tells you you can't sing... she's showing you love..."

And he's crying. He's seriously crying. The tears don't make it past his cheek, though, as his front teeth's gravitational pull draws them in.

Dennis is going to sing "With You" by Chris Brown. And it was boring and goofy and terrible. And Simon says he didnt like it, so what to do? Well, sing another one. Of course. When that fails, tell them its your dream, and how you can sing much better when you aren't so nervous. Simon says no, Paula says yes. Randy says yes. And Kara says yes. This guy won't make it past Hollywood ("and neither will Bikini Girl," says The Lovely Steph Leann)

Another montage of people who didn't make it. A few are crying, a few are not. Then more who did make it, cheering and laughing. And then there is Mia. We know she doesn't make it from the "You gonna be sorry Simon, cause I was gonna be the next American Idol!" before the break. And now, she's executing "Lovin' You" by Minnie Riperton. I mean, brutal. The Lovely Steph Leann looks up and me, closes her eyes and shakes her head. When Simon says no, she keeps singing, all the way up to the high pitch note. And even though they all say no, emphatically, she goes after Simon in her post-interview. "You made the wrong choice, and God's gonna get you". Then she curses.

Backstory! I haven't heard her sing yet, but I can tell Lil Rounds is going to make the Top 36. Lil lost her house in a tornado, so her family has been staying in a Weekly Suite place. She treads onto dangerous territory, doing Stevie, and she does it... well. Very well. They love her. I thought she was great too.

Thus ends another night of American Idol recaps. And they ruin the moment by using Fantasia's screeching voice as the background music. Twenty six are going to Hollywood from American Idol's stop in Kansas City.

By the way, I love love love Hollywood Week. Seriously. Its so freakin' nuts.

Off to bed with ya now.

Welcome to the Idol 2009

First, a quick recap. Not from me, but a rather entertaining recap on the show from the past seven... eight? seasons of American Idol, showing highlights (Kelly Clarkson winning, Daughtry getting his yellow ticket, Carrie Underwood singing, Pickles!--I love Pickles!, Ruuuuben, etc) and lowlights (Sanjaya, the Crying Girl with Sanjaya, the flake who idolized Clay Aiken, the bug eyed guy, Garret the weird cowboy, etc).

But yes, American Idol is returning. And I will not fail you, Coffee Drinkers. I will not let you down. I can't promise to be here for every single Idol early show (the early rounds) but I will do my darndest to be here every week for the performances and the kick-em-off nights.

Heck, I've thought about making it into a Clouds In My Coffee Idol kind of game... anyone want to play?

This.

Is.

American Idol. (cue the music)

Reaching back to last year, we see the winner in his shining moment, in his Now, David "Rob Thomas" Cook... okay, fine, he's no longer a "Rob Thomas"-alike... he's just David Cook. They showed a video from some girl's living room that when Cook was announced the winner, the girls, all wearing Young Archuleta shirts, they began to scream and cry, "Noooooo!!!! Noooooo!!!!" I can imagine this was the reaction when Alabama was playing Utah a few weeks ago.

Why do I enjoy this show so much? Well as much as I enjoy making fun of it, I do actually enjoy some of the winners. And some of the losers. Its entertaining. I mean, you can say, "Its a no talent talent show!" as much as you want, but Carrie Underwood has sold in excess of 8 million CDs, and has multiple country awards and Grammys to go with it. Kelly Clarkson has done likewise. Of course, for every Carrie and Kelly, there is a Ruben and Taylor, who perhaps did well right out of the gate, but haven't done much since, and of course, everyone knows the Daughtry story... And I own both Carrie CDs, both Kelly CDs, Daughtry's first CD, both Pickles CDs (I love Pickles!), Taylor's first CD (the early one, before the show) and McPheever's CD too.


Aw, Pickles!

And perhaps you don't like the music of Carrie, Kelly, Daughtry and so on... well, don't like it because its not your thing, not because they happened to break out on a Talent Show competition. Drink that thar' Haterade if you want, but I think the show is fun, and I'm going to enjoy blogging about it, and if its anything like last year, a few dozen of my readers will enjoy reading about it.

Want to make sure we know the rules though... last year, I blogged this:

Here's what you can expect to see in any American Idol audition... at least one of the following:
(A) Somebody in a weird outfit that cannot sing
(B) Somebody who cannot sing that will be bleeped later telling Simon what he can do and where he can go
(C) Somebody who legitimately can sing, but will be refused Hollywood because they aren't "it"
(D) Somebody totally weird, bizarre, whacked out that cannot sing (anyone remember "Panther"?)
(E) Somebody will butcher Celine, Whitney and/or Alicia
(F) Somebody will attempt a Stevie song that should not attempt a Stevie song
(G) Somebody who really is so sweet and nice and you want to be able to sing, but just can't do it, and you feel bad for them....
(H) Somebody who gave up everything to come audition, but will absolutely suck
(I) Somebody who says "I want to sing to share my voice with the world"
(J) And somebody who will sing another song, badly, unprompted, after its very obvious that the first song was terrible

I won't give a blow-by-blow account of tonight's show, just some highlights, and perhaps some names to watch...

We come from Arizona tonight, where it's 106 degrees--this was taped last year, summer I believe. This year, joining Randy the Dawg, Simon the Cynic and Paula the Odd, there's also Kara DioGuari (dee-oh-gwar-dee). She's produced stuff for Celine, The Pussycat Dolls, Jewel and P!nk, and right outta the gate, she fusses with Simon, she gets yelled at by a terrible contestant and fake kisses Paula. Good times.

First up, the guy with the big freaked up Afro, partly Vietnamese, all doing the robot to Michael Jackson's "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough"... I miss black, awesome Michael Jackson. He was the bomb. Seriously, 1991 and before, he was amazing. Anything having to do with Neverland and little boys, bad bad bad.

Tuan Nguyen is doing some "The Way You Make Me Feel", by late 80s, good Michael Jackson, though he's killing the song. He's got the moves, but the tone is awful. And when he doesn't get picked, not only does Idol play "Careless Whisper", he almost cries. I mean, that's just mean. George Michael when you get dissed? Wow.

Here comes a backstory. Emily Wynne-Hughes, with a weird nose ring (that from her profile looksl like a booger), pinkish hair (she should go see Melisssa Clark) and big earrings. She's taking on "Barracuda"... one of my favorite songs, this thing rocks.. And hey, Emily's no Ann Wilson (for starters, she's not 300 pounds) but she's not too bad. With the tattoos on the arms, she kind of reminds me of Carly Smithson--and she tells us that if she makes it, her band can't go on tour. And she goes through... with the background of "Alone" by Heart.

Randy Madden, who is 28 but looks like he's 36, is up next. He also looks like a guy who was a Trekkie, who gets mad when you tell him Han shot first. And he's emotional and crying. Holy poo, man, grow a backbone. Seriously. The headband, which is like five inches high, is too much. He's taking on Bon Jovi, and I'm glad The Lovely Steph Leann is not here, because that blanket she wraps around her would be up over her face (for you new people, that's what she does when she's thinking "oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh make it stop!!!"). And this is where he starts crying... especially when Simon calls him a Drama Queen. In our rules, this one guy just knocked out A, D, I and J, all at the same time. This might be a new record--I want this guy to start cursing Simon! Come on, come on Randy... give me Rule B!! Give it to me!

And all he does is start crying. I was reading "Wild at Heart" recently. This is the pansy they speak against.

J.B. Ahfua is wailing something. Not too shabbily. Paula gave him the "oh, I think I like you..." look. That usually leads to room keys.

So, here's a guy who is all scared, freaking out, and very, very nervous. He's shaking. He's actually trembling. He tries to take on a Carrie Underwood song... and I almost threw up in my mouth. I think Carrie did too. She just called me and said, "Hey Dave. Make this guy stop. I just threw up in my mouth." For whatever ungodly reason, they prompt him for another song... and he actually is singing a song of one of the judges, Kara. He walks out, and I think he throws up in his mouth.

We get a montage of bad contestants, including a music student actually destroy a Tears for Fears song. And we have our first Celine murder of the evening. By a guy. And someone names Shawn--could be a man, could be a woman, either way he/she has a mohawk, and just butchered Dionne Warwick.

The next dude, with a guitar, calls himself X-Ray. He's doing his own song, putting the guitar down, and... well, you know how this is going to end. Good for the audience, causes its stupidly funny, but not good for this guy. Randy cannot even answer when asked "Yes or no..." And he throws down on Rule J, busting up with another song. Badly.

Backstory alert! Sixteen year old, who started singing when she was 6! Arianna is her name, and she even founded a "visit an older person in the nursing home" organization (that's not meant to be mean, thats what it is!) For the first time tonight, I want this one to be good. She's cute as a button, and.... wait for it... wait for it... Yes! Yes! She's got a voice! She's singing "Put Your Records On" by... crap, what's her name? I forget. Doesn't matter. They like her, she's onto Hollywood! Good. I liked this one.

So, 9 people get their golden tickets to Hollywood on Day One.

Jillip wants me to consider a mission trip to Arizona this summer. Watching how hot it is there... wow. I mean, be uncomfortable for Christ? Hmm.

So, Elijah has a Barry White voice. It's so deep. Like, really deep. Like, the guy on The Oak Ridge Boys who says "oh bomp a maw maw" when singing "Elvira" would say, "Man, you got a deep voice." So, he's not doing soprano, we think. Simon tells him right up front, its not looking good.

Naturally, Elijah is doing "My First, My Last, My Everything" by Barry White. Barry has probably millions of conceptions during his music. Elijah will have very few. If any. Not too good.

Lea Marie, a 16 year old chick that you might just want to smack. I want to smack her. She looks cute, until she starts talking, and then you realize just how annoying she is. See, I know chicks who are 16, 17, 18, and aren't annoying. Hot Sister Cheney is not annoying. Courtney Maddox is not annoying. Lea Marie? Annoying. She's a stalker of Kara, apparently, and has brought a scrapbook full of all of her songs that she's written.

I wanted her to stink, because I didn't want another Mikalah Gordon on this show. And she doesn't entirely stink. Just a little bit. The judges told her that she's not ready (Simon says, "Really annoying"). She gives us the "put me through and I'll work soooo hard!" line. Still a no. Thank you! Thank you! But... she promises to come back next year. Oh, I can't wait.

Stevie Wright, who gets her name from Stevie Nicks, shows up. She... is not annoying. She is fun. And she's bringing "At Last" from Etta James. Hmm... not bad... seriously, not bad... started a little shaky, but brought it home, starting feeling it, got int... when did I become Randy?

They put her through--as well they should--but tell her to be more aggressive. And Stevie Nicks plays in the background.

So, they keep showing Bikini Girl, who is coming up. Something about she's going to get into an argument with Paula and Kara... I think I'm going to be objective in this, because I don't think this chick is good looking at all, body or no body.

And who decided there was a demand for Pink Panther 2? I mean, what were the requirements for making a sequel? A promise to give Steve Martin work? Has he sunk to this? If ten people show up to the first one, they make another one? What????

So, a roughneck on an oil rig, ranking as the fifth most dangerous job in the world, is auditioning. I saw Mike do this on "Dirty Jobs", and it looks brutal and dirty. Michael Sarver is bringing it too... reminds me of Josh Gracin, a whole "where did that voice come from??" kind of routine. Off to Hollywood he goes. I like this guy... glad he made it.

Another montage of terrible auditions, and here comes Bikini Girl. And she's just not attractive. Seriously. She loves Ryan, and has already said, "We're going to make out when I get my golden ticket."

Simon and Randy smile, Kara and Paula are a little affronted. Her name is actually Katrina, and while she's doing a little average job on "Vision of Love" (a song that should never, ever, ever, ever, never, ever, never, ever be sung on American Idol), she gets a Yes from Simon. Randy then says Yes. Kara then does the whole "here's how it should be done", and now the sparks fly. And she says, "You don't have the chops to sing that", and Bikini Girl says, "You weren't any better" and Paula says...

I feel like I'm watching Kecia Morgan and Jennifer Lambert argue over... who was it, Joey Stephens, in 10th grade?

She kisses Ryan. Ryan stammers. He asks her to jump into the pool, and she does. Then he jumps in after her. Some jobs are just tough.

Oh geez... coming up, a blind guy auditions. Talk about your heartstrings and all that stuff...

And its Kara, like "Air", not Kara, like "Car". Personally, I like her. She's a good addition.

And the next contestant shares the same nickname as Garrett Cheney, "Sexual Chocolate". He has it tattooed on his back. And like Garrett, he got the nickname in high school. And Sexual Chocolate is trying to take on Stevie. Tough. Tough. Tough. And no good. The Chocolate melts.

Here's the montage of the crying, cursing, "this show is a joke" contestants who didn't make it.

I want to like this next chick, but I don't know if I can. Brianna is singing Deniece Williams "Let's Hear it For the Boy" from Footloose... this song is going to be in my head for hours. And she calls Simon "Simee". She attempts to sing, "Killing Me Softly", which is a beautiful song... and boring. Like, if I'm drowsy when I hear it, I'm gone. I actually prefer The Fugees version. I keep rambling to keep from paying attention to Brianna. And they put her through. Ay yi yi.

She freaks out when she hugs Paula Abdul, though honestly, if I were in a contest and the judges were The Goddess, Kate Winslet, Bruce Willis and The Rock, I'd be freaking out too. "Oh My Gahhhhh!!!! I'm HUGGING THE ROCK!!!!"

I'm so ashamed.

A montage of family members lovin' them who made it, and supportin' those who didn't.

Deanna, a country girl, comes up next, alone (no family). She's singing some Otis, and none too bad, mind you. I like this one. She's kinda creepy looking, though, so I don't know how I feel about that yet.

17 year old Cody brings an entourage with him. He reveals that he makes horror movies with his video camera.... if this is bad, Simon will say "This was a horror movie." Cody sings "Wonderful World" by James Morrison. Hey, this kid is good. Seriously, I am a little surprised. And to no surprise, they send him on through to Hollywood.

Geek alert. He taught himself to sing, late at night, in his closet. Got sick off of mold, and he's skipping a Spanish test. Either he's going to be terrible, or he's going to be awesome. Alex is his name, and is pulling out some James Ingram... "Baby, Come To Me... let me put my arms around you, this was meant to be... and I'm oh so glad I found you..." Wow. This kid can sing. I thought it was great. They argue about it, Randy, Kara and Paula send him through.

Montage of bad singers. Most of the putting a knife in "Wanted Dead or Alive". So, apparently, they ask a few singers to sing one song, then they put the clips together to form one badly sung tune. Most of the time, this is not done in front of the judges, so their reactions are usually to something else. Its entertaining, though.

And now we have... Scott the Blind Guy. Singer, songwriter, piano player. I mean, good looking guy, good personality, confident... this is the "ooooh, I'm voting for him 'cause he's soooo sweet!' vote all the way. This may or may not be good.

College at 14, graduated at 19, studied in London? Holy crap! "So It Goes" by Billy Joel, and... he freakin' nails it. We might be getting an early look at The Blind Josh Grobin right here. Actually, I heard a rumor that Stevie Wonder is thinking of hiring an assassin to take this guy out. "I'm the only blind popular singer!"

Scott the Blind Guy goes through. Like he wouldn't. They've been teasing this guy all show, you can't imagine he wouldn't make it.

27 people have made it thusfar from Arizona. But we've got more stops to make, more blogging to do! Tomorrow night... Kansas City, home of David Cook!

Going to bed now.

It's the 66th Annual Golden Globes! (live blogging diary)

And... that's all she wrote. The big news is Kate Winslet wins 2 awards in the same night--The Lovely Steph Leann, Mikey (via text) and myself are not even sure that the same person has ever won Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress in the same night... and the other news is "Slumdog Millionaire". Have you seen it? Let me know how it is...

Good night... more of the 100 Coolest of 2008 to come tomorrow, plus the next running diary will be on Super Bowl Sunday, broadcasting live from The Nipps home!

1000p... "Benjamin Button", "The Reader", "Revolutionary Road" and "Frost/Nixon" are all losers to... "Slumdog Millionaire".

I'll wait until I see it before I make any opinions on it (though I've heard its fantastic, much in the way "Little Miss Sunshine" was a few years back)

958p... Tom Cruise, star of "Der Mavericke", is out to present the winner of Best Picture. My guess is going to be "Slumdog", which is the new love of the HFPA... and possibly the Academy.

952p... I haven't seen this film, but I've heard about it, and I've heard that while the movie is just "pretty good", that Mickey Rourke is remarkable. And hence, he's got the Golden Globe. And Marisa Tomei in the movie is not a bad option either.

950p... Hollywood Liberal Extraordinaire is here for the Best Actor in a Drama Movie. The winner? Mickey Rourke? Really? Wow... Harley Davidson gets the award! (I can only hope that The Marlboro Man will get his due too--thats for you, Mikey)

Mickey, old, saddled with drugs and old age and a lifetime of partying hard, stumbles as he gets to the stage. If, after winning this award, we were to find Mickey Rourke dead in his hotel room tomorrow, I would not be shocked.

945p... I've decided, I'm totally watching this show now. By the way, The Lovely Steph Leann, that is January Jones you spoke of. And yes, she's quite attractive. Not like you, but she's okay, I guess.

943p... Blake Lively from "Gossip Girl" and Rainn Wilson from "The Office" are here to present Best Drama. Rainn says, "Hello. We're just TV actors. Let's hear it for the tv actors!" Blake says, "We are here to present the award for Best Drama", then they both are silent. Blake pops up and says, "Oh, wait, we're supposed to read it!" They shoot through the nominees, and the winner is "Mad Men"

The Lovely Steph Leann: I don't know who that chick is in the blue but she's beautiful. (reflects for a minute) Okay, well, I don't really like the dress, but I love the color.

940p... My favorite actress with my favorite speech of the night. She says, "I just saw the sign that says 'please wrap up'. You have no idea how much I'm not wrapping up..."

I can only hope this translates into her winning an Oscar, because she deserves it... of course, perhaps like tonight, she might be given an Oscar for "Hey, give her one, she has earned it!" rather than a particular performance in "Revolutionary Road", kind of like Denzel in "Training Day" and Tommy Lee Jones in "The Fugitive."


My favorite actress, Ashley Judd Club Member and now, 2 Time Golden Globe Winner Kate Winslet.

938p... Mark Wahlberg and Cameron Diaz come out to announce the aformentioned Anne Hathaway, and the not so pretty Angie Jolie for Best Actress. Kate? Maybe? Kate?

KATE WINSLET!!!! KATE WINSLET WINS HER 2ND AWARD TONIGHT!!!

The Lovely Steph Leann (gasping): Ohmigah... they gave her two!
Me: WOO - HOO!!!!

936p... So, two actors that are Indian/Asian (I won't even pretend to try their names) comes out to introduce "Slumdog Millionaire". This might just win Best Picture tonight, and if so, it will be the front runner at the Oscars.

932p... Didja hear about Anne Hathaway? She is up for Best Actress in "Rachel Gets Married", and a star appeared by her name on the Hollywood Foriegn Press website, indicating she had won... a few days ago. Here's the scoop.

930p... "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" wins for Best Comedy. Okay, so at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship), we discussed racism. I hope its not going to make our pastor angry to say that I will probably never see this film, nor do I even want to. Doesn't help that I can't stand Woody Allen.

928p... Sasha Baron Cohen, the man who is Borat, comes out and says, among other digs at celebrities, "The recession is hitting everyone... Madonna has had to get rid of one of her personal assistants. Our thoughts go out to you, Guy Ritchie." The crowd claps and gives a "oooohhh"

926pm... Count me as in the minority of guys who don't find Salma Hayek attractive at all. Nor do I think Penelope Cruz, Angelina Jolie and Catherine Zeta-Jones is anything special. Just sayin'.

921pm... Sandra Bullock comes out... where has she been? She was the hottest chick of the 90s, and suddenly, she's nowhere to be seen. Oh, don't say "The Lake House", that didn't count. Anyway, she's cracking a few jokes here and there, kind of reminding me of Annie is "Speed". The award for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical is Colin Farrell for "In Bruges".

919pm... Ripley herself, Sigorney Weaver comes out to introduce "Revolutionary Road", a film that was getting major buzz early, but has faded a bit because of mixed reactions from critics. It seems "The Reader" is the Kate Winslet film that the voters are loving.

913pm... Emma Thompson, one of my all time favorite actresses, and Dustin Hoffman are presenting the Best Director award. "Slumdog Millionaire" is a favorite, though I'm pushing for "Ben Button's" David Fincher. The award goes to... Danny Boyle.

This is huge. Very, very big. This pretty much guarantees some major Oscar love when nominees are announced in a few weeks. And if it wins best picture (and it might), it might become a front runner over "Frost/Nixon" and "Benjamin Button" to win Best Picture.

904pm... I actually watched "*batteries not included" not too long ago. Spielberg was an executive producer on that one, one of his rare bombs at the box office. It wasn't as bad as I remember it. Oh, don't get me wrong, it was bad. But it was watchable. It was written by Brad Bird, though, future director of "Ratatouille" and "The Incredibles", among other films.

856p... Its time for the Cecille B. DeMille Award for Lifetime Achievement... and this time, its Steven Spielberg. And this is big deal for me, because rather than having older actors or directors that I only know of in older films, Spielberg is a guy I grew up watching, or at least watching his movies...

"Jaws"... "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"... "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial"... "Jurassic Park"... "Schindler's List"... "Saving Private Ryan"... "Minority Report"... "Raiders of the Lost Ark"... "The Terminal"... "Catch Me If You Can"... not only did I see every one of these films, save for "Jaws", at the movie theater, four of them appear on The Dave100... that's how great this guy is.

Here's a hidden gem... "Duel", one of his first films, is amazing. Its from 1971, and its the simple story of a lonely traveler being terrorized by a guy in a semi-truck. Find it on Netflix, or go rent it, or find it on DVR and set to record. Its fantastic.

For the record... "Saving Private Ryan" should have FAR AND AWAY won the Best Picture Oscar in 1998 (?), which went to "Shakespeare In Love." That was a good film, but "Ryan" was unbelievable. Not just a movie, but an experience. Anytime a movie transcends from "entertainment" to "experience", its deserving of recognition.

847p... Best Actress in a Comedy, its Christina vs Tina vs America vs Debra vs Mary Louise (go Debra!!) and the Globe goes to Tina Fey. "30 Rock" is the critic darling right now, much like "The Office" has been in years past. Now that is a low cut dress.


I keep expecting her to go "you say... I only hear what I want to... you say... I talk so all the time... so..."

Tina: "I've collected all the Hollywood Foriegn Press action figures!" Then, she adds, "If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, there's this thing called The Internet, to which I'll call them out right now... DianeFan, you can suck it. CougarGal, you can really suck it. You've been after me all year." Speech of the night thus far.

844p... Diddy Combs are giving away best score. Is that ironic? And the Golden Globe goes to... "Slumdog Millionaire".

842p... Ah, its Pierce Brosnan... and he's introducing on of the biggest disappoinments for me in all of 2008. The musical is magnificent, seen it 4 times and will see it everytime I can, but the movie, "Mamma Mia!" is sorely lacking. And Pierce tries to sing... wow. Just... wow. Not a good wow. A bad wow. And I think it was worse because I was soooo looking forward to it.

833p... Glenn Close from "Damages" and Morpheus are giving out the award for Best TV Series. More than likely, this is a battle between "The Office" and "30 Rock", though "Weeds" might sneak in there. And the winner is... "30 Rock".

Tracy Morgan says, "I'd like to thank the Hollywood Foriegn Press, cause a black man can't get no love from The Emmys!" and he rambles on for a while, until Alec Baldwin leans in and whispers something, which makes Tracy shout, "Oh yeah, Jeff Zucker, the producer"

830p... Megan "Is A" Fox and Terence Howard are handing out the award for Best Actor in a Mini-Series and/or TV Movie. Another "John Adams" win, I'm guessing... which is deserved. Paul Giamatti is another That Guy who is really emerging to be a great actor in his own right...

Paul Giamatti says, "This was a helluva job, a helluva job. You know, this little costume drama we put on over at HBO..." which warranted a laugh from myself and The Lovely Steph Leann.

Well deserved.

828p... Renee Zellweger is wearing... something. The Lovely Steph Leann is in the kitchen at this very moment, and I'm trying to get her in here to get a reaction. Yikes.

822p... Colin Firth Club member Patrick Dempsey, and Amy Poehler are up to give Alec Baldwin Best Actor in a Comedy for "30 Rock", a show that will be on my Netflix queue soon.

820p... Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks, stars of "Zack & Miri Make a Porno"! Of course, the announcers didn't say that, they just said, "Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks!"

Seth Rogan says, "I wish I was around to present the Golden Globes in the 80s. Instead of getting drunk with Mickey Rourke, I could be doing cocaine with Mickey Rourke." Funny joke, but even funnier is the fact they didn't cut to Mickey Rourke.

Best Screenplay goes to "Slumdog Millionaire", a film that is getting hot and steamrolling to the Oscars. Of course, this might be the one award it gets, as a "you deserve something, so here" token.

818p... So, "In Bruges" is apparently this much acclaimed film. Know very little about it. Anyone?

810p... Aaron Eckhart and Maggie Gyllenhaal, who I had a brief crush/fling with not too long ago, are giving out Best Supporting Actress. Laura Linney is nominated... I do love me some Laura Linney. And... Laura Linney in "John Adams". Of course it does... I do have a feeling this is going to pick up quite a few tonight, just like it did with the Emmys.


Laura Linney, new Golden Globe winner. Oh, she was in "The Truman Show". That's how you know her.

807p... Colin Farrell attempts a joke, which falls flat. Best foriegn film... which means my attention is fading. "Waltz with Bashir" is the winner, and I called it. The Lovely Steph Leann and I both figure it will pick up the Oscar.

On another note... Colin sniffled as he was about to read. He said, "Sorry, got a cold. Its not the kind of cold it used to be." Then he smirked.

The Lovely Steph Leann looked up from under her blanket. "I think he just made a cocaine reference."

Also... Israel won this award. Won't most of the liberal celebrities want to hold him down and let some Palistine beat the crap out of him? Cause libs don't like Israel. Just sayin'.

803p... Is it bad that I want to see "The Celebrity Apprentice 2: Celebrity Apprenticier"? Surely J Rob would join me in this venture.

758p... After giving a little motherly advice to daughter Rumer, who is Miss Golden Globe and is helping onstage, Demi Moore is giving out Best Supporting Actor in a Movie. This is the one Heath Ledger is nominated for--and I kinda knew that this was a foregone conclusion. The entire audience gives a standing ovation. But... the award is deserved. Heath was BRILLIANT in "The Dark Knight".



756p... "John Adams" wins.

753p... This is the part of the show where Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore present "John Adams" with Best Mini Series or TV Movie. "Raisin in the Sun" was nominated, but it's got Sean "Puffy" Combs in it. Or P. Diddy. Or Pididdle. Or Diddy Kong, or whatever he is this week. So it can't win. Wait... wait... "Recount" is nominated. Crap... this might be a contest...

752p... The fact that Cate Blanchett didn't get nominated for Best Actress in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" is a travesty. She's just simply amazing in that flick.

750p... Is it bad that I kinda want to see "Confessions of a Shopaholic"?

742p... Johnny Depp appears onscreen, looking flaky as ever. He's giving away Best Actress in a Comedy, and really, he is three gold teeth and some dreads away from being Jack Sparrow--he sounds just like him right now. Seriously, Johnny Depp is flaky. So, Sally Hawkins wins for "Happy Go Lucky". I've never even heard of this flick...

739p... The Jonas Brothers are here to give the award for Outstanding Animated Film to "Wall*E". I think out of courtesy they are announcing that "Kung Fu Panda" and "Bolt" were also nominated, but seriously... we know. The Lovely Steph Leann giggles like a little girl when "Wall*E" is formally awarded.

737p... Ricky Gervais is hilarious, lamenting about how he wasn't nominated and how he will not, in the future, get it on with 200 foriegn journalists. He actually is drinking his beer onstage, which is just as funny. He looks at Kate Winslet and says, "I told you, Winslet! Do a Holocaust movie, win an award!"


Mikey just texted me his support for Rogue... er, Anna Paquin. I can concur. Even with that gap in her teeth.

730p... Zack Quintos and the other guy in the new Trek film are doing the Best Actress in TV Drama. Winner? Two shockers in a row... Gabriel Byrne won for "In Treatment" and Anna Paquin won for "True Blood". Didn't see either one of those coming--I thought "Mad Men" would get something, either Jon Hamm or January Jones. I can't complain about Anna Paquin though... she's Rogue. Rock on.

728p... Hayden Panattiere and Zac Efron are giving away Best Actor in a Series. I've never seen "Mad Men", but I'm hearing tons about it. I am wary about jumping into shows anymore, because they get canceled so quickly--Netflix just sent me "Pushing Daisies", and despite my crush on Kristen Chenoweth, I refuse to watch it. Its canceled. I might watch "Mad Men", though.

726p... If I'm Don Cheadle, a prominent actor, rising from That Guy Status to be nominated for numerous awards himself, when I enter, I don't want to be known as "The star of the new motion picture 'Hotel for Dogs'!"

718p... Best Supporting Actress for all those things below. Laura Dern wins for "Recount", and HBO movie from last year. It was chided by some conservatives, Rush & Hannity included, for being biased, but really, I liked it. It didn't put Dubya in a bad light, rather it showed how incompetant John Kerry (who served in Vietnam) and his campaign actually was. Anyway, I liked it.

The Lovely Steph Leann weighs in on this subject. "Laura Dern does not need to be wearing black."

Laura Dern then goes slightly political, raising the applause of the crowd.

717p... Tom Wilkenson sounds loaded. I told you, open bar.

715p... The next award is for Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, Mini Series, Movie, Telemovie, Telenovella, Hardback Adaptation, Cable Show, Local Stage Play and Lifetime Holiday Classic. Tom Wilkenson wins for "John Adams", a mini-series I have yet to see, but will probably take all kinds of awards tonight.

713p... Is it bad that I want to see "He's Just Not That Into You", the new ensemble comedy?

710p... The Lovely Steph Leann: "Hey... he walked the wrong way! Bruce Springsteen walked the wrong way off stage." Me: "He's Bruce. He can do whatever he wants and he dares anyone to tell him different."

708p... The winner is Bruce Springsteen, for a song from "The Wrestler". Honestly, as soon as they announced his name during the nomination annoucements, I knew that Springsteen had won. He's like U2. He could sing the phone book (and like U2, some of his most recent stuff has been about as good) and win acclaim and honor. I think he's overrated. That's right. I said it.

706p... Best Original Song award given by Sting, who's sporting a "Football player in Boston" beard. Peter Gabriel is nominated for "Wall*E", and they pan to him, and he has a "tell me if I won or lost so I can get another drink and effin' leave". Miley Cyrus & John Travolta have also been nominated for their duet on "Bolt", though I just can't root for Miley Cyrus to win a Golden Globe. Something about that just doesn't seem right.

703p... My Dear Kate has been nominated like a bajillion times for awards, including Oscars and Golden Globes, and for whatever reason, she rarely wins the big ones. In fact, she just said, "You'll have to forgive me for stuttering, I'm not used to winning." She's a phenomenal actress, and she's definately an Ashley Judd Club member in good standing. Yay KATE!! She looks fabulous, as always (Even The Lovely Steph Leann agrees).

701p... The Best Movie Supporting Actress award is up. Jennifer Lopez is presenting (The Lovely Steph Leann: "Look at her dress! She's had babies! You don't show that much skin when you've had babies!") I personally am torn, cause I love Amy Adams and Marisa Tomei, but I loooove Kate Winslet... and the winner is... KATE WINSLET, for "The Reader"!!!!

700p... It's the Golden Globe Awards, who's winners are determined by a group called The Hollywood Foreign Press. They give out awards on movies and television shows, and of course, lots and lots of celebrities... oh, and there's an open bar available. No, I'm not kidding at all.

659p... What in the crap is Tiki Barber doing on the red carpet?

654p... Lisa Rinna is talking to Debra Messing. I say, "Oh, I love Debra Messing. Totally Ashley Judd Club." The Lovely Steph Leann responds, "Look at her frizz! I don't love Debra Messing, at least right now."



652p... The Lovely Steph Leann on various celebrities:
Drew Barrymore: "Her dress looks amazing, but her hair is like a planet..."
The Jonas Brothers: "So, Joe Jonas, the main 'hot' one, has terrible hair. Like, the other ones, Kevin and whatshisname? Rockin', awesome hair. Joe? Terrible."
Pierce Brosnan: "Holy crap. Look how big his wife has gotten!!"
Tom Cruise: "Sigh. I like old school Tom Cruise and... wait... is he wearing a Navy blue suit??"

650p... Just got back in. Now, I'm here, at the laptop, currently I and The Lovely Steph Leann are watching Joey Fatone (the cool N*Sync'er) on the TVGuide Red Carpet Show. Had to go get dinner (having Long John Silver's, thank you).

518p... The Golden Globes, the ugly stepsister of Oscar's Academy Awards, is on tonight... and it is time for a running diary. That basically means that every few minutes, I'll be giving my thoughts on the celebrities, the show, the entertainment and of course, the winners. Full of pop culture random trivia, I'll be able to give you little facts here and there, random links and such, and hopefully you'll keep checking back.

For Amarylis' sake, I'll even disable the "auto-play" on the playlist, so you don't have to keep cutting it off over and over! Stay tuned!

The 100 Coolest Things of 2008... 70 thru 61

NOTE: If you are reading this on facebook, click here to see the videos (they will not appear in facebook notes)

Are you new to the blog? Click here to find out what the heck this is all about.

And we'll continue our annual list of the Top 100 Coolest Things of 2008...
The Introduction and Recap
The 100th thru 91st Coolest Things of 2008
The 90th thru 81st Coolest Things of 2008
The 80th thru 71st Coolest Things of 2008

70. Four Christmases
"I'll tell you what movie I couldn't believe was only PG-13 and not Rated R!" Cindy Warner proclaimed at our latest KidStuf practice.
"What, Role Models?" I asked, thinking how in the world Cindy Warner would be caught that that film, then remembering it was actually Rated R.
"No!" she exclaimed. "Four Christmases!!"
Hannah Pruitt, the coolest person I know, leaned over and said, "Whatever. I loved it." Then we high fived.

This was such a funny movie... here's what I said a few weeks ago:

Its a contrived plot that relys on the strength of its leads and Vince Vaughn definately does his end of the job. He's one of the funniest guys out there.

Reese Witherspoon is one of those actresses that I keep forgetting 1) how talented she is, and 2) how hot she is. She shouldn't be hot, either, she's got this weird goofy grin thing going on, along the same lines that has made me never find Julia Roberts attractive... and yet, somehow she is.

Reese is funny in this movie. She's been funnier, though, as seen in "Election", one of the most wickedly funny movies ever, and even "Sweet Home Alabama". Avoid anything that has a number after "Legally Blonde", though.Anyway, they play a couple who, since both comes from divorced homes, somehow avoid visiting the four different families they'd have to see on Christmas Day. Through a pretty clever set of circumstances, however, they are forced to do just that very thing... the parents are great, played by Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, Jon Voight and Mary Steenbergen, all four Oscar winners. Dwight Yoakam also has one heck of a funny cameo too (I didn't even spot him at first).

And Jon Favreau is at his stupid best--anytime the words "Dry Humping" and "screensaver" can me included in the same dialogue, it makes for high comedy.

70A. Reese Witherspoon
Granted, one funny, good movie does not an appearance on the 100 Coolest Things necessarily warrant.


Let's welcome Reese Witherspoon, this year's inductee into The Ashley Judd Club. Reese, you can have a seat over there next to Kate Winslet and Debra Messing.

I wrote about three Reese movies to check out, naming "Election", "Man in the Moon" and "Walk the Line". Since we're on the subject, I wanted to give you a couple more Reese movies to check out:

"Pleasantville"... a flick that was in serious contention for The Dave100 (that being my 100 favorite films of all time). She's charming, she's funny, she's hot and its also worth a look at a young Toby Maguire and former That-Guy William H. Macy, and late That Guy Hall of Famer JT Walsh (in his final film)
"Sweet Home Alabama"... I debated on this for a while, trying to decide whether to recommend this film or the equally cheesy "Legally Blonde". After some careful decision (re: deciding which I'd watch if they were the only two movies on television), I chose this one. Its just fun, plus a bonus for The Lovely Steph Leann, it stars Colin Firth Club member Patrick Dempsey.
"American Psycho/Cruel Intentions"... Honestly... as a Christ Follower, I cannot recommend either of these films. As a movie fan, I can recommend either one of them. Don't watch them. but if you do, Reese is marvelous in both.

69. truTV
Oh, talk about a guilty pleasure. For someone who is a fan of "World's Wildest (insert authoritative group here) Chase Videos" and crap like that, this channel is like manna from heaven. Seriously... here's a story I shared last April:

Once, while actually in Panama City, I was about to head out of the hotel room to enjoy the sunshine of a 75 degree day. One of those shows was on, and I ended up sitting down and watching it. Drew Morris came in. He started watching it. Shawn Sharp walked in, and he too was caught. Another guy came in, and was sucked in. So, at the worlds most beautiful beaches, on a nice 75 degree day, when there are scantily clad Christian girls outside in inappropriate bikinis (this was a churchy type retreat, complete with Valdmanis), and there are four guys, watching two hours of "World's Wildest Police Chases".

And those shows? They were on CourTV. Which, as of January 1st, 2008, became truTV. The channel not only shows Cops over and over (still waiting for the Bucky Covington sighting), it boasts progams like "Maui Chopper", "Speeders", "Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock Hotel" and "Carribean Cops", its a cornucopia of videos, stupid criminals, stupid drivers and drunk folks. Plus, its website features "The Dumb Blog", a listing of the dumbest criminals of the week, which tells of this guy:

Wearing a ski mask, Frank Goldshtein politely waited in line for his turn to rob the bank, according to police in Stow, OH. Ten minutes later, the jig was up when Goldshtein crashed his car in a yard and cops recovered the stolen loot, the ski mask and the toy gun he allegedly used to extract the cash from the teller.

Its not reality. Its actuality.

68. The Crap Trap with The Lovely Steph Leann
One of the favorite things I love to do is eat, and one of the even more favorite things is to eat at great places with my lovely wife, The Lovely Steph Leann. And one of the best places we've eaten in the last while is The Crab Trap. Located down close to Sandestin, Florida, its this big seafood dive that has lots of shrimp, fish, lobster and of course, crab legs. Lots of crab legs.



And for an hour, that's what we feasted on, splitting a King Crab plate and big dish of some sort of crab dip, with crab, cream cheese, seasoning and chips. Fantastic food. I am still slightly full.

67. I.O. Metro
One day, I was at The Happiest Place in the Mall, when who should stop by but Bobowen. He and his wife, The Freckled Becca, were hosting an "open house" across the way at Patton Creek, where he was managing a new store called I.O. Metro. I had no clue what this even was, but heck, Bobowen and The Freckled Becca are good friends and I wanted to support them, so we went.

And it was the neatest thing... I didn't have a clue what I.O. Metro even was, but of course, being the hip chick that The Lovely Steph Leann is, she knew. Its a big furniture store, full of accessories, home items and so forth. That, of course, led to The War of the Table, which wasn't the best night in the world (which, by the way, The War of the Table had its own Appomattix moment when, last week, we actually got a table--that's for later, though) but overall, it was neat to see such a big store, and such a big accomplishment for Bobowen. And The Freckled Becca is just precious.

66. This Letter from Scott Latta

Dear Magic 96.5,

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Wow! Where does the time go? It’s weird—it seems like only yesterday that I flipped by for my weekly Peabo Bryson fix, and instead of hearing “Tonight I Celebrate My Love,” I heard something else entirely. I checked the calendar, thinking “Surely it isn’t time for ‘I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas’ already,” and sure enough, there it was: September 4, letting me know that you had already switched over to Christmas music and were prepared to pepper my ears with the same eight songs incessantly for the next four months!

I should begin by saying that you’re not likely to find a bigger fan of Christmas (or, incidentally, Peabo Bryson) than me. I start walking around Hobby Lobby in mid-July looking for ornaments and tinsel. And I don’t even use ornaments and tinsel. I just like to walk around the store holding them. I invented the “dirt angel.” I spray myself with aerosol snow. I really love Christmas. So this is my season. This is it for me. And, you know, there are some things that are hard to screw up. Ice cream comes to mind, and sugar cookies and Helen Keller jokes and Pixar movies.

Christmas is one of these things. I could spend Christmas in a Malaysian prison and I’d pretty much enjoy myself. But listening to your radio station—listening to the same eight songs you put on repeat—makes me want to burn my tree. It makes me want to pour out the Salvation Army bucket and bang Santa over the head with it, then pick up all the change and throw it at animals. Every year, my love for Christmas makes me think maybe—maybe—I should give you another try, and every year you ruin Christmas for me.

So, you should know that I hate you. But don’t get me wrong! I don’t necessarily hate Christmas music; I just hate what you do with it. You know what? I want to be in on your production meetings, if you have them. I want to be there when the station manager says the words, “I don’t know, I just really think people want to hear ‘Run, Run Rudolph’ by the Jackson 5,” and I want to throw a dry erase marker at him. Seriously. How much Burl Ives does a person need? My rule is that one Burl Ives song holds me over for 10 years. In the last week, you have played enough Burl Ives to cover not only my life, but the prison sentences for OJ Simpson (33 years), Vinson Filyaw (421 years), and Charles Manson (life, no parole).

Did you know that Bruce Springsteen, Michael Buble and James Taylor have all released Christmas albums? I’m not being sarcastic; I’m seriously telling you because I honestly think you think that Christmas music stopped being recorded around 1971. But it didn’t. That’s the thing; we don’t have to listen to Aaron Neville. Get on iTunes sometime. There is a whole other world out there you need to be listening to.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. Also, as the only radio station in Birmingham that plays non-stop Christmas music, thank you for being a shining example of the precarious dangers of monopoly power and why we should always fight against it.

Actually anticipating the return to Michael Bolton,

Scott

Scotty... this one is for you...


(somehow, Scotty has gotten a dozen mentions these last few weeks. Too bad the Pruitt Award winners have already been decided--Scotty might pick one up next year.)

65. "Nature Girl" by Carl Hiaasen
It's not a secret that I am totally anti-manmade global warming, in the sense that I don't believe its manmade (neither does most of the world) but also I'm not a fan of books, movies and shows that end up having a "We Americans are destoying our planet. We suck" theme. See "Still, The Day the Earth Stood" and "Happening, The". Or better yet, don't.

Carl Hiaasen is a native Floridian who has written a ton of books, mostly set in his home state, and many times dealing with enviromental issues. Its a credit to him, though, that he doesn't delve into the "we suck" mentality. He just tells his story, and give somes good "hey, take care of our planet" wisdom and tells a nice story. "Nature Girl" is just such a story.



His characters are goofy--Boyd, a scam artist, Sammy Tigertail, a Seminole who is trying to hide from a dead guy who he didn't kill, and the books ingenue, Honey Santana, a oddball chick who sets out to punish Boyd after he insults her on the phone. Its not a serious book, its almost a ridiculous... well, no, it IS a ridiculous story, but credit Hiaasen on making it enjoyable all the same. If ever there were a novel to define "beach read", this would be it.

64. "Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
No, I can't pronounce his name. No, I don't know anything about the guy. What I do know, though is this is a great tune. Combining "Over the Rainbow" with The Great Satchmo's classic "What a Wonderful World", its soft, done on the ukelele, and classic.

Of course, what brought it to just about everyone's attention--besides the countless times its been in commercials, movies and TV shows--is earlier in the year when Jason Castro, "The Dreadlocked One", performed it (brilliantly I might add) on American Idol. Over a dozen plays on my iPod this year puts on the list...


I'll be completely honest. When I googled Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, I was not imagining this guy. Apparently, he's a Hawaiian music legend, so much so that when he died in 1997, the Hawaiian state flag flew at half-mast.

63. Troy Over Florida International
My best mate Wookiee called me up, telling me of the extra tickets he had for the October 18th bout between the two college football powerhouses, Troy (my alma mater) and Florida Int'l. I said I was in--it fell on a rare Saturday that I was free from The Happiest Place in the Mall. We made some phone calls, seeing who else was interested, and Matt Halpert and J Rob decided they would join us... J Rob them punked out.

So, Wookiee, Matt and myself proceeded down to Troy, Alabama, stopping at Crowe's Chicken along the way for dinner, and then to the game. It was a blast. Troy won 33-23, and it was fun hanging out with Wook-Fu and the incredibly dry-witted Matt, who had never attended many college games--he's an NFL enthusiest from Houston, so all he has are the Texans and Rockets. And Astros, but he doesn't talk much about them.

62. WarGames II: Nuclear Wastelands
December 29th, 2008. The warriors came. Tyler. Zack. Danny. Pinkerton. Young Garrett. For a brief time, Papa Ron Campbell. Yours Truly. They chose their armies, we surrounded the battlefield, we rolled the dice. First, it was the mission game. Every five minutes, a country was nuked. Every 300 seconds that went by, another army was destroyed. Danny emerged victorious from the warm-up.

The elder Campbell couldn't handle the pressure. The big game was at hand. The armies moved. The dice rolled. The cards were earned. Now every 20 minutes, a country fell at the hands of the Nuclear Option. Tyler fortified, then was cut off, in Australia. Young Garrett took over Europe. With Danny owning South America, and Zack taking much of Asia, Pinkerton had little chance and was eliminated. Yours Truly had no hope, buried in South Africa.

And yet, then Young Garrett, ever unreliable, fell. Tyler was the next to fall, Zack then went down. Danny and Yours Truly had only to eliminate each other--Danny in his first WarGames, Yours Truly hoping for a back-to-back win, having won WG I. And suddenly, the Nuclear Option mattered more than ever, striking Danny twice in key areas, leaving Yours Truly enough life to amass a legion, to strike fast and to finally dominate. And Yours Truly is WarGames Master once again.

Geeks, nerds and dorks of the world, rejoice.

61. "Death Race" with Mikey
If you are standing in the welfare line, and with President Elect Obama set to take charge in a matter of days, you might be soon, and you ask for cheese, they give you the block. If you ask for butter, they give you the block of butter. If you ask for Bruce Willis, they give you... Jason Statham.

Imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit (aren't they always), he's forced to compete in a television game show where criminals race each other in death machines, with the winner having a chance to go free. There's the corrupt warden (Joan Allen), the angry black man (Tyrese Gibson), the hot chick (Natalie Martinez), the older, wise sage (Ian McShane) and of course, the crazy foreigner (Max Ryan). But all that doesn't matter.

What does matter is how terrible this movie was. How terrible, and yet, how Craptastic. Absolutely Craptastic. The plot is lousy, the action is predictable and repetitive, the deaths are kind of unimaginative, but the whole movie tosses together makes for an entertaining night, at least with the right person.

Enter Mikey, who, like myself, share a love and appreciation for Craptistical Films. We saw this movie at the dollar theater in town, which made it much better--"The Punisher: War Zone" might have been salvagable had I only paid $1 instead of $9 for it.

Coming Up... For Better or For Worse restarts, The Official Troy State Crush returns and... you're doing what to Matt Damon???

Truth In the Eye Black

Perhaps some thought it silly to have the Scripture references on his eye black paint, but I thought it was cool. Personally, in a sport (and a sports culture) that is full of gangsta's and thugs, shoot 'em ups and steroids, smackin' up my ho's and other garrulous violations, I think its kinda cool to have someone that is just a genuinely good guy. There are good guys all over, college and pro, I know, and Tebow gets all the coverage, yes yes, I know that, but still...

Anyway, here's the shot of Google's most searched topics for last night during the game...



Kinda cool, huh?

Scott's SEC Report

After all the recent happenin's in the SEC--Auburn firing Tubby, Florida on the cusp (and winning!!!) another national title, Bama's disaster in the Sugar Bowl--I wanted to hear what columnist and diehard Tider Scott Latta had to say.... we had an email conversation, then he wrote a little blurb on everything...

ME: So, your take on what happened last Friday?

SCOTT: Apparently, Andre Smith was good or something. Who knew? I think Alabama just didn't want to play Utah. I'm not sure, had Andre played, Alabama would have won. Utah just shredded the defense and exposed a whole lot of holes that had been covered up by a dominant running game all season. Whatever. Six months ago, if you had offered me 12-2 with wins over Georgia, Tennessee, LSU and Auburn, I would have laughed and jumped all over it. Plus I keep telling myself that this is the least amount of talent Saban will have from this point forward, and that makes me happy.

ME: Think Saban fueled the fire? Didn't he make some cutting remarks towards Utah? Or do you think that the team just finally gave in, deciding they were done with it all, with the Go Gators ripping their hearts out in Atlanta (hence, who cares about a meaningless bowl game against the freakin' Utes?)

SCOTT: All Saban said was that Alabama was the only team to go undefeated from a true BCS conference. What's not true about that? Utah probably posted that everywhere, but it's like him saying, "I'm the only coach to bring in the top recruiting class last year and then run the table in my conference." People can use anything they want that comes out of his mouth against him.

I think they just gave in. I followed that team, was at all the press conferences, interviewed all the players, all season long, and I think they were just tired. I know I was, and all I had to do was hit record on a voice recorder. The Mobile Register had a report that said after the SEC Championship, one player was overheard in the locker room saying "If we play Utah I might as not even show up." This player, apparently, had a bad game in the Sugar Bowl. (I don't know who it was, but that narrows it down to, oh, about 75 guys.) I think that sums it up. Fourteen games is a lot, and fourteen games under Saban is like 80 games under most other coaches. I think the Florida loss had a whole lot to do with it. It exposed Alabama's lack of a pass rush and showed that you could exploit Saban's vaunted 3-4.

ME: Personally, I've always contended that if Tebow had chosen Alabama, Shula would still be coach, or at least would have been a year longer--long enough that Saban wouldn't have been available. I think that Tebow would have given them just enough wins to warrant keeping Shula, but they'd still only be a 8 or 9 win team, never more.

SCOTT WRITES:

I've wondered that a lot. A whole lot. What if Bear Bryant hadn't died in 1982 and had become athletic director like he had planned? How would the program be different today? What if Mike Price (it's rolling baby-d$) had not been an idiot and instead had become the coach? I think it would make for an interesting book.

----------------------------------

During my freshman year at Alabama, in 2005, we were recruiting Tim Tebow. Mike Shula was the coach, we hadn't won many games, but Tebow was still somehow drawn to Shula's nice-guy persona and the school. I lived in a brand new apartment-style dorm then, and one Sunday afternoon I was told we would have a recruit stop by to be shown around the building, and that he would be coming into our room for a while to look around. It was going to be Tim Tebow, who was in town for his official visit. We, being four recruiting-obsessed college guys, ran around frantically, sweeping and vacuuming and cramming a semester's worth of cleaning into 10 minutes. We turned the Steelers-Bengals game on because we thought he might want to watch. We left our Bibles on the kitchenette table.

Before long, they came. First his mom, then his dad, then him. We shook hands and introduced ourselves. And then it hit me.

Tim Tebow had one of the weakest handshakes I had ever experienced.

I don't know what I was expecting, but I know it wasn't the wet-paper-towel strength of SuperTim's extended hand that I received. I wanted to smile at him and be cool, to let him know that even the Regular Guys at Alabama were worth hanging out with, but all I could do was stare at our clasped hands, my eyebrows furrowed just a bit in confusion, as he looked at the TV.
"Who is that, the Steelers?" he said. All I could do was pull my hand away and confirm. "Yeah," I said. "Playing the Bengals."

We watched for a few minutes. He went in my bedroom and stood with his parents, talking about the school while we all stood in the living room slightly hyperventilating. We talked as a group for a bit about our majors and dorm life. After a while, they left in a van, and Tebow eventually committed to Florida, where he has since won the Heisman Trophy and a pair of national championships, all while circumcising young Philippine boys and cramming half of the New Testament onto his eye black.

It wasn't until later, while watching Tebow jump-pass his way past some SEC also-ran, that I realized something awful. When Tim and I shook hands that day in my living room, I extended first, and I am right handed. He responded dutifully, and it was our right hands that shook. But Tim Tebow is left handed. The wet-linguini handshake I received was a fraud. And, believe me, I wonder every day how things would be different had I instead offered my left hand, letting him know how tuned in Alabama fans were to his life and thereby securing his commitment to our school. No doubt, my left hand would have been turned to gold. I kick myself.

But, there is little that can be done now. Had Tebow committed to Alabama, he would be about to begin his redshirt junior season at tight end, and that actually makes me kind of glad I screwed it all up.

Behold, Chizikistan!
As an Alabama graduate who worked in the athletic department for two years, you can probably imagine my reaction when Auburn hired Gene Chizik. The only thing I can think to compare it to is the N64 kid off YouTube.

Observe...


This is more of my reaction to Chizik's coaching staff. Now, don't get me wrong, I find a lot of humor (and reason for fist pumping) at the combined head coaching records of Chizik and new defensive coordinator Ted Roof, whose 6-45 record accompanies nicely Chizik's 5-19 mark, making for a nice 11-64 combination. But Chizik, to his credit, is piecing together a good staff of quality recruiters, and the Gus Malzahn hire sure is a fun one. When you live and die in a conference that boasts recruiters named Meyer, Richt, Saban, Spurrier, Miles, Nutt and Petrino, you need a good staff.

But do I think Chizik can hold his own in recruiting? Not this year. Too late to the game. On the field, though? As a guy who has experienced more coaching changes than should be federally allowed, I can tell you what it's like having a first-year coach coming off a bad year: you do not win more than seven games. Auburn heads to 2009 with no proven quarterback, no quality receivers, an average offensive line, and some major holes to fill on defense that are going to be patched with anemic recruiting classes. Any coach in the SEC is going to struggle in that situation.

I thought Auburn would beat Vanderbilt last season because, despite their lackluster season, they had better athletes and could out-athlete Vanderbilt to something like a 20-13 win. But that didn't happen, and it became clear to me that average athletes in a good scheme will beat good athletes in no scheme. Auburn heads to 2009 with average athletes in a new scheme. Looks like David Dollar got out while the getting was good. (note--as my allegiences slowly switched from one to the other, Auburn was still good. I just had to be true to myself. This championship, however, I claim -d$)

Andre Smith is Not Dead to Me
Of everything I love about sports, my favorite thing about them is probably when out-of-touch sportswriters develop my opinions for me and then broadcast them to the world. I love this. So you can imagine my excitement when I read columns that proclaim that Andre Smith's Alabama legacy is tarnished forever because of what he did, and that Alabama fans will never forget it.
Who cares?

Honestly, I don't, and I was paralyzed with shock and rendered temporarily speechless at age 12 after Alabama's overtime loss to Michigan in the Orange Bowl. Two questions: 1. What would Alabama have additionally gained by winning the Sugar Bowl over Utah this year? (Nothing.), and 2. Would they have even won with him? (No.)

So Andre Smith is not dead to me. Did his absence on the field make a difference? Uh, yeah. A big one. But Alabama's problems in its last two games went beyond protecting John Parker Wilson's blind side. Alabama had zero pass rush, and opposing quarterbacks had time to let fast receivers outrun the Tide's DB's. Period.

This is not to say I didn't want Alabama to win the Sugar Bowl. I did. But, this time, I wasn't paralyzed at all. In fact, I think I just made a sandwich when it was over. In 1999, Alabama got to the Orange Bowl on the legs of its best running back in school history (Shaun Alexander) and its best left tackle in school history (Chris Samuels), both of whom were seniors. This year, Alabama did it with a bunch of freshmen and a quarterback whose main quality is that he doesn't royally screw things up much anymore. So there is more reason to be encouraged now than there was then.

(Also, as an aside, I should mention that Samuels did not play in Alabama's '99 Orange Bowl loss for the exact reason Smith didn't play against Utah. Do Alabama fans really care now? No.)

One thing became abundantly clear in the Tide's loss to Utah, though: Andre Smith is really freaking good. Without him, Alabama's pass protection was, shall I say, underwhelming. (Meaning: they could have gotten more time for John Parker if Drew Davis had been replaced by a stack of Gatorade coolers with twigs for arms.) Andre will enjoy life in either Detroit, St. Louis or Kansas City next year, and Alabama will move on. Had you offered any Alabama fan 12 wins this year, with wins over Georgia, Tennessee, LSU, and Auburn, he would have hugged you and probably teared up a bit. They'll be fine.

Tim Tebow Will Cure You of Your Iniquities
I do wonder a little bit what things would be like had Tebow committed to Alabama. Mike Shula would probably still be around; Florida definitely wouldn't have two national championships or a Heisman; and things in the Philippines would be a little...different. I like that Tim Tebow is a good guy. I'm sure he'll do fine in the NFL. But it's like I said while watching Florida beat Oklahoma this year for the championship: he's like that guy that always took things way too seriously while playing basketball. You're just jogging the ball up the floor and here he comes sprinting across, stealing it from you and slamming it home. Then he full-court presses you, you to dribble off your foot, and he dunks again. Like, seriously, just stop already. We get it: you like football. Great.

During the game, I actually heard the announcers say about Tim Tebow: "If you spend five minutes with him, your life is better for it," and, after a penalty, "That might be the first wrong thing he's ever done in his life." Those are just annoying statements. Who else would those things be said about? (one more note... even more annoying--did you actually see what the penalty was? He did the Gator Chomp at some guy, and flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct. Not even a real penalty. He is perfect. - d$)

Think of everything a solid left-handshake could have changed. I could have saved you from the SuperTim Love-a-ganza that has permeated the United States the last three years. I could have probably given Oklahoma a championship or two. I could have drastically changed life in the Phillippines. Unfortunately, we'll never know.

So consider this my formal apology. And when Tebow comes back next year to cure feline leukemia and eliminate thirst, I'm sorry. I'll do a little more research next time.

Columnist Scott Latta is a recent graduate of Alabama and a WalkAbout drama legend. A member of Dove winning group Factor 7, he ranked #63-A on 2007's 100 Coolest List, and author of 2006's 11th Coolest, the late, great Rammer Jammer Blog, is also the author of "We Got 12 (Coaches): Why Stallings Was Right, Shula Was Wrong, and Every Mistake In Between", and is working on a new book chronicling Saban's first two years. He's also getting married this year. You can read more of his work on his blog "Kangaroo Song" (click the link or just go to d$'s recommended blogs ----> )