the transformers age of extinction review

So, it's like butt thirty in the morning, and I got in a little bit ago from watching "Transformers: Age of Extinction".  I'm tired, I have to be up in a few hours so I can go and do work... but I thought it would be a great time to toss out a quick review of this film, in case you want to see it.

First, I have to tell you the trilogy that comes before this film is both loved and hated.  The first one was pretty awesome, the second was dreary and not awesome, while the third rebounded quite nicely to make a good--not great--film... think of it how "Ocean's Twelve" was just awful, leading into a watchable "Ocean's Thirteen"... only with more explosions, less casinos and no Pacino.

After the events of the previous film, "Transformers: Dark of the Moon", which by the way, they make no mention of anything that happened in the first two films, other than a Megatron reference here and there... anyway, Chicago was wasted in that last film, and now the Autobots are the enemy.  A CIA agent, played very d-baggedly by Kelsey Grammer, a dirty ops leader (character actor Titus Welliver, who you would know if you saw him) and a scientist (played by Stanley Tucci, naturally) are all working together to gather the metal from the Transformers to create a new kind of metal so they... you know what, it doesn't matter.

The film is good.  It's not great.  It's not very good.  It's just good and satisfying.  The first hour is a little slower, setting up new lead Mark Wahlberg (No Shia! No Shia! No Shia!) and his family as the heroes, with Optimus Prime returning for battle. 

What I liked about this film is the story was actually understandable and cohesive, with only a few plot holes this time around, plus the action is done in a way where you don't lose sight of what you are watching.  The first film, and especially the second, had a habit of blending the CGI together so badly that when robots fought, you couldn't tell who was what.  This is a more of a broader picture, so you can actually see who you are rooting for... and the transforming is also better.  Again, in previous films, it was just one big blur of special effects and sounds to turn a robot into a Ferrari, but here, I could actually see Optimus Prime's moving parts as he turned into a big rig truck.

Mark Wahlberg is good, as is Stanley "The Tuch" Tucci, while comedian TJ Miller is in danger of stealing the movie with his funny one liners.  The dialogue was also good, without the constant silliness, sometimes a little dirty and mostly stupid lines we got from Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox.  Sure, the bad guy robot at the end, yelling at the top of his lungs, "YOU HAVE RUINED EVERYTHING!!!" was a little much, but overall, it was pretty good. 

(Sidebar:  One of my favorite podcasts is Doug Benson's "Doug Loves Movies", which actually features TJ Miller as a guest frequently... and it also has a running gag about Mark Wahlberg which, as my buddy Mikey pointed out, "Marky Mark is hard for me to take seriously amymore.  Doug Loves Movies podcast has completely ruined him for me.")

The bad news?  It's long.  It's so, so long.  Our movie started tonight at 945pm... and no lie, we were done at 12:54am.  Its just over 3 hour running time with trailers included.  This film did not need to be this long for any reason... it just kept going and going, with several parts that could have easily been cut out, or pared down.  Michael Bay seemingly did us the courteousy of having the first two films, this one and the next one, in his new trilogy all crammed into one film... its overindulgent and explody (my friend Hurricane Rhett used these terms which I thought fit the bill precisely)

The Dinobots do make an appearance, but by the time they showed up, I almost didn't care because it was so far into the movie.  When they do come in, while extremely cool, it struck me to be similar to the Army of the Dead, coming in to do their thing at Minis Tirith in  "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King." (nerd alert! nerd alert!)

The question of the day--is it worth the money?  If you are diehard Transformers fan, yes.  If you are a casual fan, maybe not.  Try to catch a matinee, and leave yourself plenty of time to get in and get out.   Will the kids like it?  Depends on how patient yours is... it's a slow start, and though the action is plenty, there are long spells of conversation and exposition in between the action scenes. 

the 100 coolest things of 2011... 80 to 71

I just looked around and realized... holy schmoles... its almost October!  And we are no closer to tell you what the Coolest Thing of 2011 was!  So, this is what I wrote a few months ago, and then we'll blast through 70 thru 11 on a Cool Express post or 2...

Here is 100 through 91... Auburn's title... "Pocket Full of Kryptonite", ah... "Friends with Benefits"... Colin Firth's Oscar... "My Strange Addiction"... Edge's retirement... "Fast Five"... "50/50"... Aladdin's stage show... "Something Borrowed"

Here is 90 through 81... Coin Dozer app... "Superheroes"... "The Rainmaker"... "I Need a Dollar"... "Zookeeper"... Mr. Toad's Wild Ride... "The Help"... Jersey Mike's subs... "Thor"... Brava Rotisserie Grill...

Okay, so this part of the list is very movie-focused, as I saw a record (for me) number of movies last year, I think at 38... and a lot of them made this list.  So, let's kick it off with the film that Hurricane Rhett said, "I understood about 58% of what was happening in the second one... and in this one, I understood about 74%, making it thereby much better."

80... "Transformers: Dark of the Moon"
I mean, why even try to explain this film.  Its a bunch of robots who can transform into cars, and Optimus Prime and Megatron go at it uno mas time, and Shia LaBeouf is running around trying to act better than his talent will let him, and Megan Fox is no longer in the cast, replaced by supermodel Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and somehow Ken Jeung, Patrick Dempsey AND John Malkovich make an appearance...

...but really, who gives a crap, right?  Its CARS WHO TURN INTO FIGHTING ROBOTS!!  There's a scene in this flick where Bumblebee, the bestie of Sam Witwicky (LaBeouf), is racing down the interstate with Sam inside, sees congestion in the form of dead robot bodies all over the highway, then he transforms into the robot, hurling Sam into the air, leaps over the hulking hunking holes of metal, fires his gun at the bad guys, then transforms back into the car, catching Sam back inside the passenger seat, all in the matter of a few seconds.  Despite this move being poorly acted and stupidly plotted, that is one of the best few seconds of ANY movie in 2011... you don't watch this movie for plot and talent.  You watch it to see FIGHTING ROBOTS!!!  Dig it!

79... "The Ides of March"
Wow did I think this movie was good.  You have to know that I really like political dramas, and judge them accordingly.  Russell Crowe's "State of Play"--excellent.  Tom Cruise in "Lion for Lambs--unexcellent.  Primary Colors--so good its one of my 100 films of all time.  George Clooney in "Michael Clayton"--would be good if it wasn't so boring.

An adaptation of Beau Willimon's play "Farragut North", this film features Ryan Gosling as Stephen Meyers, a campaign manager for Mike Morris (George Clooney), the Governor of Pennsylvania and a Presidential candidate locked in a fierce battle with a senator for Arkansas.  The goal is to woo a North Carolina Senator, who controls 356 delegates and would give the winner of those delegates the Democratic nomination. 

When a young intern, Molly (Evan Rachel Woods), gets involved with Stephen, things begin to go downhill fast... because with Molly comes a few secrets involving not only Stephen, but also Governor Morris himself... and a double cross with both Morris' and the Arkansas senator's campaign managers, played fantastically by Philip Seymour Hoffman and Paul Giamatti, respectively. 

There are some slow moments, but bear with it... the deep showdown between Gosling and Clooney towards the end of the film is supremely done and worth the wait. 

78... The Dallas Mavericks Win the NBA Championship
Yes, I'm a San Antonio Spurs fan.  Have been since the late 80s and especially the early 90s as I followed David Robinson, my favorite all time player... that said, there are several teams I follow and root for.  Almost dead even with the Spurs as a favorite NBA team are the Orlando Magic, for the obvious Florida ties.  And though there are teams that I don't want to see them beat the Spurs or Magic, I do enjoy wins by the Celtics (its a mom connection), and now, the Mavericks.  Of course, reading this, the champions now are the Miami Heat..

...by the way, how come there hasn't been more made of the fact that it was strike shortened season?  When the Spurs won their first title in like, '99, there were a whole lot of people discussing how they didn't play a full season, and could the Spurs do it if there was a full season, and Tim Duncan is a rookie and could he play all 82 games and blah blah blah, and here comes LeBron, playing in a 60-something game season, not a full 82 games, and they win the title, and its like a coronation of LeBron all around, even though he didn't play a full season either and... really?

Where was I?

77... Kent State Helps Alabama Who Salutes Kent State
On April 27th of 2011, a massive band of storms roared through Alabama, filling up our landscape with rain, wind and... tornadoes.  Towns were wiped off the map, neighborhoods here were damaged and some leveled, and the destruction was practically unfathomable.

And with such loss comes the familiar, yet never-gets-old, stories of those in the city, the state, the country and even the world who rise up to the challenge and, for lack of a better word, give a "helping hand".  One such story made me smile just a little more than some of others, and that was the fact that players from the Kent State University football team saw fit to make their way down to Tuscaloosa to pitch in that aforementioned helping hand. 

Four Kent State Golden Flashes players--Spencer Keith, Ishmaa'ily Kitchen, Lee Stalker and Jacquise Terry--volunteered at the Habitat for Humanity houses alongside several Tide players, in addition to helping out with a football camp at Holt High School for some tornado-displaced children. 

Kent State was set to play Alabama the following September, and when they did, it wasn't the usual taunting and superiority felt by many smaller teams who are cashing in for their beatdowns at the hands of behemoth schools like Alabama.  Before the game, Bama fans sent hundreds of messages begging Tide fans to not boo and ridicule the Kent State team when the Golden Flashes entered Bryant-Denny Stadium.   The messages worked.

The Kent State team was greeted warmly with cheers and such, as they should have been, and from the side of the Alabama Crimson Nation, it was a class act.  Yes, the game got out of hand quickly, with the then-ranked #2 Tide beating KSt 48-7, but it was the actions of Kent State over the summer and the reception of Alabama that will be remembered, separating this game from the hundreds of beatdowns given before SEC play commences.

76... "Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows"
As much as I like Rachel McAdams... this second movie in the Sherlock Holmes series was, at least to me, superior in most ways--story, dialogue, characters, etc.  What can I say... I liked it quite a bit.

The plot is a little much to get into and keep your attention, but Holmes (Colin Firth Club Member in good standing Robert Downey Jr) and Watson (Jude Law) team up to stop a take-over-the world plot from the cunning and so, so evil Dr. Moriarity, played by Jared Harris, who is Lane Pryce on Mad Men.  The addition of Noomi Rapace, as ingenue Simza, doesn't necessarily make up for the short screen time of McAdams, but she is great in the film too.

Anyway, great film.  Enjoyed it much.

75... My Yard Goes Disney
From the category of "We have to make up problems in this country", comes a ridiculous show on HGTV that takes boring and decrepid backyards and turns them into Disney World havens with props and pools and accessories all decked out in Mickey Mouse style. 

Here's what I wrote on June 6th of 2011...

We just recorded, and are watching back, this show on HGTV... now I don't really watch HGTV, because every show on their schedule might as well be called "Kitchens and Backyards That You'll Never, Ever Be Able to Afford TV" or KABTYNEBATATV... in hindsight, I guess HGTV works better.

The show that would get me watching HGTV?

My Yard Goes Disney



Apparently, HGTV invited people from all over the country to make videos telling them why they deserved to have a Disney-themed backyard makeover.  A backyard with an 8 foot sorcerer's hat, a Tinkerbell themed teapot that serves as a playhouse, a Tinkerbell themed birdcage kids swing, flowers with kids pics in the middle and topped off with a freakin' train with 200 feet of track running from their backyard into Mawmaw's backyard next door, and of course back again. All designed by genuine Disney Imagineers.

You can read the full show review by clicking here.

74... The Civil Wars
Talk about mellow and smooth... the duo of (former?) Christian music artist Joy Williams and John Paul Williams make great music.  No, they aren't romantically linked, as she is married with a kid and he is married with four of his own--not that makes a difference sometimes, but still.

Anyway... its soft coffeehouse rock kind of music, and its awesome.  Well, maybe not on a long car trip, as it might put you to sleep, but otherwise, yeah.

73... "Rise of the Planet of the Apes"
This was truly a movie I didn't want to see.  Having never seen any of the early "Planet of the Apes" films and thinking the 2001 Mark Wahlberg reboot was a steaming pile of Bantha poodoo, this film didn't excite me all that much... and yet, I somehow ended up at the theater, checking it out.  And I'm glad I did...

Here's what I wrote on August 30th.... So, the movie was solid. The story was good, the characters were well written, the script is well written, the special effects, especially Andy Serkis, is unbelievable and overall, I enjoyed it immensely. You don't have to be familiar with the other films--in fact, there are apparently a dozen or so references to the early films, though I only caught one when Draco Malfoy says, "Dadgum dirty apes!"--to like this movie, and it sets it up quite nicely for following films, which due to the success of this one, are likely.
Here's the full review, or you can find this and hundreds of other films on my own movie review page.

72... "Hot Coffee"
Remember the old lady that spilled coffee in her lap, then sued McDonalds for like, $300 million dollars or something because the "coffee was too hot"?  There were jokes abound on everything from late night television to me and my own high school buddies cracking jokes.  Seriously?  Isn't coffee supposed to be hot?  So, yeah, I think I'll sue Water World in Dothan, because their water is too wet!  Ha ha!  Right? 

So the story is, in 1992, then-79 year old Stella Liebeck, living in Albuquerque, New Mexico, sat in her grandson's car in the passenger seat, ordering a 49 cent cup of coffee in the McDonald's drive-thru.  Her grandson parked the car so that Stella could put the cream and sugar in her coffee, but when she went to lift the lid, the cup sloshed and the entire contents of the cup spilled into her lap.  Wearing cotton sweatpants, it absorbed the coffee and burned into her skin.  At the hospital, it was determined that she suffered third-degree burns over 6% of her skin and lesser burns on 16% of her skin... she underwent skin grafting over the next 8 days and spent two years undergoing medical treatment. 

She sought to settle with McDonalds for $20,000 to cover her actual and upcoming medical expenses.  They offered her $800.  And thus began the legal battle over coffee was was too hot and unsafely served... and thus is the opening salvo in this HBO documentary.

It covers three more cases like this, cases that are seemingly open-and-shut yet are much deeper and harder to agree upon a resolution once you know the full story... like Nebraska family, The Gourleys, who's 16 year old son is severely brain damaged due to medical malpractice at birth... yet, Nebraska's cop on damages meant the Gourleys could only get $1.25 million, far below the estimated $5.65 million that a jury decided they would need for his lifetime care.

You also see the story of Oliver Diaz, a judge who opposed tort-reform and was "run out of office" by those groups who didn't see it that way... and finally, the story of Jamie Leigh Jones, a KBR/Halliburton employee who's claims that she was drugged and raped by male co-workers and faced even more problems when evidence disappeared.

Whether you agree with these stories or not, or whether you think that Stella is still too greedy, especially since she was clumsy, or you think that McDonalds took a greedy route by their lowball offer, all of these stories are fascinating in nature and very thought provoking. 

I, for one, learned a lot about tort reform.  And McDonalds coffee.

71... "Misery" by Stephen King
I find that sometimes the scariest Stephen King novels aren't those that deal with the supernatural and ghosts and demons, but deal with people who are just bat guano crazy.  And when they are bat guano crazy, it makes for a more compelling villain, because they are real people who do things that real life people might do.

While "'Salem's Lot" and "It" are my favorite King books, dealing with the undead and the otherworldly, "Misery"'s Annie Wilkes might just be one of the most scary villains in the King universe... because she's not supernatural.  She's not undead, or otherworldly... she's just... well, bat guano crazy.

Writer Paul Sheldon has a ritual when he finishes his novels, of which he's been writing about a character named Misery Chastain--and the latest book, he kills her off, giving him the freedom from writing just that story that he's done for so many years.  And it all goes haywire when during this novel-finishing ritual, which calls for him to complete books while up in the Colorado mountains all alone with no forms of communication, his car wrecks and he tumbles down a snow filled ravine.  And when Annie Wilkes finds him, the story takes over... Annie is his biggest fan.  His biggest, obsessive fan.  And she loves Misery Chastain... and when she finds out that Misery bites in this, his latest and last Misery novel, she's not happy.  As a matter of fact, she's bat guano crazy about it.

When I read it, Paul was already wrecked and in Annie's spare bedroom within the first 30 pages or so, which made me wonder how in the world King was going to stretch the story for another 300+ pages... but he did.  And it is intense, both wonderful and dreadful at the same time.   Yes, the movie is great, with Kathy Bates portrayal of Annie getting her an Oscar for it, but the book is even better. 
 

Coming up... The 2011 Cool Express...

Romgad At Wars

What does it stand for? Well, Robots, Old Man, Greeks, Angels, Demons And Travolta Wearing A Rocking 'Stache, of course... time for some movie reviews...

THE ROBOTS… “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”
I’ll tread lightly. I wrote a slightly negative review about “Speed Racer” a while ago, and got blasted by two people I’ve never even met (though I’m thankful they read the blog), and admittedly, I’ve never been a huge “Speed Racer” fan… I have, however, been and am a big “Transformers” fan.

Here’s the deal. I liked the movie. What I liked about it is really what everyone wanted to see… big, bad robots beating the crap out of each other, and that’s just what happened. From the big single wheeled robot tearing up the streets at the beginning to the awesome appearance of the Constructicons at the end, the robots did not disappoint. Michael Bay is a genius when it comes to explosions, loud gunfire and crazy battle climaxes.

What I didn’t like was everything else. It was too long. It was full of cheesy dialogue. The characters, who I really liked in the first one, sometimes became too comical and stupid. Megan Fox is good looking, but really, if you look around and see that mouse sitting beside your computer, you are looking at an object that can act about as well as she can.

And for the record, anytime the phrase “If we don’t stop them, they’ll destroy the sun which will destroy our planet!” is uttered in a movie, in any variation, its ridiculous.

THE OLD MAN… “Up”
If there is any issue with Pixar movies, it is this… one day, they are going to make a bad movie. One day, they are going to release flick that is just… well, not good at all. So far, we’ve been entertained by a lovable robot, a friendship between a cowboy and a Space Ranger, a bunch of ants with four legs, some monsters in the closet, talking cars, cooking rats, a lost fish and ranking 49th on TheDave 100, a family of superheroes. So, could this be it? A movie about an old man and a Wilderness Scout who fly in a house to South America? Could this be the inevitable misstep?

No.

“Up” is magnificent in every way possible. The story is fun and sweet, and somehow, the theater gets a little dusty after the first fifteen minutes. The music is fantastic, especially in that first fifteen minutes. The characters are likable, even lovable, from a dorky Scout who is deeper than a dork, to a goofy talking dog, who doesn’t talk by normal Disney standards, but through an inventive collar. Perhaps the least likable character is the actual bad guy, who is really only unlikable because you don’t see much of who he is, other than a jerkface. The main character though, is Carl, who seems cantankerous and miserly, but you’ll discover has his reasons.



The color is marvelous. The scene when the roof comes off and the balloons fill the sky is incredible, a feast of color and animation brilliance. My recommendation is see this movie in 2-D, not 3-D. The 3-D glasses tend to dim the color slightly, and you don’t want that diminished in any way.

Enjoy the splendor, enjoy the color, enjoy the story, grab a hanky for the first few minutes of exposition between Carl & Ellie, and start worrying that maybe the next Pixar movie—Toy Story 3 in 3-D—will be the misstep.

FYI, found this nugget on the interweb.... The villain Charles Muntz is named after Charles Mintz, the Universal Pictures executive who in 1928 stole Walt Disney's production rights to his highly-successful "Oswald the Lucky Rabbit" cartoon series. This led Walt Disney to create Mickey Mouse, who soon eclipsed Oswald in popularity.

THE GREEKS… “My Life in Ruins”
I am loving me some Nia Vardalos, who just happens to be my very favorite Greek actress. Don’t know who that is? She’s the star of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. She’s just pretty enough to be borderline beautiful, yet not so pretty that, if she lived around you, she would be unattainable.



I had a feeling this would be a movie I would enjoy, but I didn’t realize I would like it as much as I did. I loved it. It’s not perfect, its flawed, and let’s be honest, this is a blip on the radar screen of the summer movies. It spent about two weeks in the big theaters, and I saw it today on the dollar screen…

Nia plays Georgia, a tour guide for a small company that gives week long tours in Greece. She loves the history, she loves the architecture and she loves Greece, but she struggles with being entertaining to a group of tourists, some American, some British, some Australian and some just old and annoying. Her co-worker, Niko, does everything he can to appeal not only to his group, but Georgia’s group as well, being funny, buying them food, skipping the boring history to go shopping and so on.

The movie is about a week in Georgia’s life, and how she figures it out… through a number of sources, including an excellent Richard Dreyfuss playing the typically loudmouth funny old guy, “Irv” and a bus driver who takes a liking to her--a bus driver who's name is pronounced "Poopy Cacas"

The movie is a bit long, and towards the end I was hoping it would come to a conclusion… and finally, it does. “My Life in Ruins” is light, its breezy, its fun and Nia Vardalos is her beautiful, real self.


And even though its getting some pretty terrible reviews, I will probably go see her other film that's out, "I Hate Valentine's Day".

THE ANGELS & DEMONS… “Angels & Demons”
Sigh. I didn’t hate this movie as much as I hated the fact that I thought it was silly. It wasn’t smart. It wasn’t riveting. It wasn’t suspenseful. It was silly. When you use the words “Catholicism”, “Illuminati” and “anti-matter’s destructive power” to write your screenplay, I’m not sure it works. I’ve heard the book is awesome, and I have no doubt that is a fact, but the movie just didn’t work for me. Eh.

I miss fun Tom Hanks.

AT WARS… And Travolta Wearing A Rocking ‘Stache
"The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3" has a formula has been done before, and I don’t mean in the original movie. I mean, someone (in this case, John Travolta) takes something (in this case, NYC subway car 123) hostage, and a very unlikely someone else (in this case, Denzel Washington) ends up being caught right in the middle.

But you know what? Despite the fact you’ve seen this plot a thousand times, despite the fact you have a good idea how this is going to end before the first ransom demand is made, this movie works. It works for two reasons… 1) Denzel. 2) Travolta as a bad guy.


Well, fine, 3) Travolta’s rocking ‘stache.

Tony Scott directed, and you can tell if you’ve seen the other Tony/Denzel collaborations like “Crimson Tide”, "Man on Fire" or "Deja Vu", or Tony's earlier works like "Enemy of the State" or “Top Gun” or any of the other frenzied action movies he’s led. After one particular crazy camera shot, I leaned over and whispered to The Lovely Steph Leann, "That's a very Tony Scott kind of shot." She agreed.

Its full of F-bombs and violence, a few over the top action scenes and the plot is actually pretty good, one of those back-and-forth cat & mouse games, and unlike "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen", John Turturro is actually respectable and believable.

And what's come up now? Well, "Public Enemies", which we'll probably go see this weekend... "Inglorious Basterds", which I'm sure I'll go see with Mikey... "GI Joe: Rise of Cobra", which is sure to be a ridiculously bad yet fantastic movie... "The Ugly Truth", which I'm sure The Lovely Steph Leann will make me take her to see... and of course...

Idol's Final Results

Well, its 1034pm, I just came in the door after doling out magic for the better part of 8 hours and, thusfar, have made it successfully upstairs to talk to The Lovely Steph Leann before she goes to sleep, back downstairs to check my email and over to Clouds in My Coffee without finding out who won. MZ texted me and told me that the show was really good, and my reply was, "Don't tell me nothing! I can't watch it until at least 10 or 11!" Luckily she complied...

So... let's start, in real time...

BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL'S SEASON FINALE!!!

10:36p... Seacrest stands between The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert and The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen, both dressed in solid white. Sure to be lots of former Idols in the audience, lots of celebs in the audience, there's a Courtney Cox sighting...

10:38p... The judges are introduced, with Randy Jackson, Randy the Dawg, busting up with this big red bow tie. I want to wear a bow tie one day. Its like some accessories... it works for some people, for others, its a disaster... just like The Lovely Steph Leann can wear a hat in church. She knows how to wear it, she looks good, I've heard other people say, "No one can wear a hat like Stephanie Dollar". I wonder if I can do a bow tie.

10:40p... Next is Kara DioGuardi, Kara the New Hotness. There's been some speculation as to whether she's necessary, or needed, or anyone likes her. I thought she was great. And yes, I think she's quite attractive.

10:41p... Up next is Paula Abdul, aka, Paula the Flake. Paula the Blubberer. Paula the Blitherer. Paula the Droolin' Hoobernoogin. That would be our lovely Paula. I've been over how she was awesome back in the day, so I won't go into that, but I will say... she makes me laugh so much. Not just laugh, but look on in confusion and amazement.

10:45p... Simon Cowell, Simon the Cowell, appearing once again in a black jacket and a white shirt. My friend Kevin Spivey reminds me of Simon the Cowell.

10:46p... Those white outfits the Idols are wearing would be absolute nightmares when eating a Dairy Queen chili dog. They cut to Mikalah Gordon, in Conway, AR, hometown of The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen. Mikalah was one of the most annoying Idols ever. Over in San Diego, we see Carly Smithson, who I really like. She's like a better MJC.

There apparently are some mic problems, as The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert and The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen can barely be heard. See, I have a problem with this. This show, American Idol, is the number one show in the country for five months out of the year. Its generated what, enough to almost support President B. Hussein Obama's budget? (or Bush's war, depending on how you want to spin it... well, maybe not either). This is the show that now artists come to to try and promote their new stuff... my point is, when its time for the finale, the producers should have an all-star line up for everything. The best gaffer, the best best boy, the best associate director, the best anything and everything for this show. And, the best tech guys you can possibly put your hands on... all that is to say, there is NO EXCUSE for mics going out. None. None. None. No excuse for any kind of technical glitches short of . But I digress.

10:48p... Doing a P!nk song, "So What", here comes all 13 American Idol contestants from this year. At least I'll get to see Alexis Grace again and... wait, what am I doing? I've been watching the group song! Aaaah!!! Fast forward!!!

10:54p... David Cook doing his latest single, "Permanent". He lost his brother a few weeks ago, and is putting this performance on iTunes, and all the sales will go to a cancer research charity. Classy, classy guy, seriously. Also, a hot Carrie Underwood sighting. And Justin Giarini?

10:55p... The Annual Golden Idols, silly little awards to take hilarous potshots at this seasons who didn't quite make the show. Yes, yes, God loves them all. Yes, yes, we are directed to love them to. Yes, we should appreciate their talents. And yes, this video is hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. They even show the guy who makes Barry White sound like a soprano...

10:58p... And Nick Mitchell, aka, Norman Gentle. Part of me wishes he'd made the Top 13. The people over at Vote for the Worst would have collectively passed out at the same time, wondering if there were any better gifts. Norman Gentle wins the Golden Idol for "Best/Worst Male". And he comes up to give a speech... and then he strips. Seriously, I have yet to laugh a single time at this guy.

11p... No kidding, though, man's got some pipes. Seriously. Here's the first duet of the night... Lil Rounds and Queen Latifah with "Cue the Rain". Do any of you remember when Queen Latifah had a talk show? I used to love that show! It would come on Fox every day, and for those Coffee Drinkers not around here, you can hear our local Fox affliate on the radio on 87.7... so, everyday I'd go out and grab lunch, and at 2p, I'd turn it on 87.7 to hear The Queen Latifah Show. Loved me some Queenie L. I also dug The Ricki Lake Show, which was cancelled, giving the time slot to The Queen Latifah Show, which was cancelled, giving was to Maury Povich which, if you've never seen it, makes you feel great about your life...

...mostly because you realize how many people are out there that are more pathetic than you. Did someone say Jerry Springer? At least Jerry knows his guests are completel morons and the show is absolutely ridiculous. Maury Povich wants you to respect him as a serious journalist. Which is why Jazmine is there, waiting on the results of the lie detector test to tell her weather Jamal is actually the father of her cousin Muffy's baby (Jamal says it isn't him, he "ain't neva' been with that ho!") Is he? We'll find out next!

11:08p... Anoop Dogg is onstage now. I guess its another duet, joined by Alexis Grace (just in time, as I was reaching for the remote). And here comes Jason Mraz... I'll be honest... when he first came out with "The Remedy (I won't worry)" I thought he was a flash in the pan. I liked the song, but he kind of annoyed me... but... nowadays, I really like Mraz. "You and I Both" is one of my favorite tunes, pulling in over 20 plays on the iPod. And yes, I'll be interested in hearing Alexis Grace's first single.

11:10p... Here is a video of The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen's journey through Idol. And though you could have forseen The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert and possibly The Widower Danny Gokey making the final two by the beginning of the Top 12 shows, The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen kinda snuck up on some people. He was that guy that people usually complimented by saying, "You know who I have really started liking? Kris Allen..."

11:13p... That being said, I'm fast forwarding through his duet with keith urban.

11:14p... The girls are up now, singing "Glamorous", which I can only guess will have Fergie coming out soon enough. MJC sounds terrible. There's one chick that I can't even remember her name...

Between "F to the E, the R, G, the I, the E" and "G.. L... A... M... O... R... O U S", Fergie should have titled her CD "Spelling Bee".

She's singing "Big Girls Don't Cry". In the same vein of shame that makes me watch movies on The Lifetime Movie Network starring Judith Light and William Devane, I listen to Fergie. I think "Fergalicious" is both the most ridiculous and moronic, yet brilliant and awesome song. I'm now going to turn on the gas logs and stick my head in the fire.


This was one of the tamest Fergie photos I found online. She likes to dress skimpy. Just an FYI in case any of you guys decide to Google "Fergie"

11:16pm... So, all of a sudden, the Black Eyed Peas come out, Will.I.Am starts singing, Fergie jumps in, then everything goes silent, they show an Idol logo, then they cut back to the performance.

11:16p... Fergie. Freakin' hot. She wasn't before, but the break between "The Dutchess" and the new Peas album, plus marriage (to Josh Duhamel from Transformers) has done wonders. She looks amazing.

11.17p... Will.I.Am is pretty good in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine", by the way.

11:17p... "Boom Boom Pow" is a pretty cool name for a song, too.

11:17p... Should I start calling myself Da.V.Id?

(by the way, I was looking for the "Fergalicious" video online to post, and I found the greatest Fergalicious tribute EVER. I'll be posting that in a few days...)


Its a little low on video quality... no, I mean the presentation, not the actual video, though some might argue that point... anyway, I think someone put a camera up to their tv. Anyway, I've got the video on my iPod, and yes, I've watched/listened it more than 40 times. I hate myself.

11:19p... More Golden Idols, this time for Best Attitude... and of course, there's Bikini Girl, who, unlike Fergie, hasn't gotten better as time goes by. Then there's Alexis Cohen, the screaming, raging chick who scares everyone. Of course, Bikini Girl comes out, looking as homely as she did before, in her small bikini. Why couldn't Fergie wear that? Seacrest tosses out a great one... "I was going to ask you what's new, but I think I know..." as she throws back her hair off of her... well, her boobalies. She is now trying to butcher... well, not trying, she IS butchering "Vision of Love"... and who comes out, but Kara the New Hotness, as they sing the song together. Kara the New Hotness isn't perfect, but sounds pretty doggone good. Then she rips her dress open, revealing her own bikini. Don't get me wrong, she looks fine as all get out, but what is this, Cinemax Idol?

What happened to "fine"? Does anyone else remember when "hot" was "fine"? If a girl was pretty, we'd say "She is FINE!" and the chicks would discuss guys being "FINE"! Its only the last several years has "hot" surpassed "Fine" as the go-to adjective to describe the shallow, surface only appearance of the opposite sex. I miss "Fine". The Chiffons would have never had a lasting hit with "He's So Hot"... its "He's So Fine".

The Goddess? Fine. Ashley Tisdale? Fine. Amy Adams? Fine. See how it works? Maybe we should bring it back. Oh, and what about Pickles????


You all knew I couldn't end this season without my beloved Pickles!

11:25p... My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta is sitting with Cyndi Lauper, singing on of my favorite 100 songs of all time, "Time After Time". My favorite version of this, though, is by Nichole Nordeman, from her "Live at the Door" live CD, which is just remarkable. Back to the show, for being 86 years old, Cyndi Lauper looks fantastic.

11:30p... Seacrest talks to the Allen family and the Lambert family. Then we cut to The Widower Danny Gokey, singing "Hello" by Lionel Richie... oh, please please please let Lionel come out.. please please please Father in Heaven God please I pray let Lionel come out... why? Cause Lionel Richie is AWESOME and you know this.

Not only that, but this video's unintentional comedy rating is somewhere in the 100s.

And here comes Lionel Richie! Yeah! I am so seriously thinking of growing me a Lionel 'stache. Still reminds me of Chris Tucker in "Rush Hour"... "Lionel Richie ain't been black since the Commodores!" Dude, his Commodore mustache has to be one for the ages... no kidding.

He and Dead Wife sing a newer song, "Just Chill", and then kick it old school by tossing out some "All Night Long", which in retrospect, is just a fun song. We're going to party... caramba... fiesta... forever... all night long (all night, all night)... all night long (all night, all night)... everyone you meet, there's dancing in the street (all night)... everyone you meet, there's dancing in the street (all night).

When I worked at Cox Radio, I spent time on the Rob & Shannon Morning Show, and as a result, I got meet some fun celebrities, however B-List they might be. I met Fred Travelina, and Rodger from Survivor Outback and Harry Anderson, and honestly, I don't get starstruck. Just never do. However, when I met Kevin Pollak, I was star struck. I was like, "Wow, its Kevin Pollack, holy crap!" and my friends later said, "You get star struck over the oddest celebrities..."

I think if I ever met Lionel Richie, I would be star struck, in a way that I wouldn't be if I met Jon Bon Jovi or Bono or any of the Hootie guys.

11:40p... We now see The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert's journey through Idol. Let's be honest here... the guy has a great voice. I mean, really, you can't deny how good he can sing. For someone who doesn't have a trained voice, I can tell he can sing, but for those who have trained voices, they think he can sing even more so.

Its not the outfits... heck, I (I just had to pause the DVR, because The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert just appeared on stage, wearing the weirdest outfit ever, which I didn't understand until I heard him sing the words... "Beth I hear you calling..." which made me nod my head and say, "Yeah. Gene Simmons. That explains it.") loved 70s flambouyant crazy Elton John--his best music was from that day and age. Its not the Ambiguously Gay Gayness, cause no, I'm not a homophobe. We don't even know if he's gay. He's never told us he was. I mean look at Clay Ai... I mean... look at Lance Ba... um... I mean, look at... oh, forget it.

Its the screech. I hate it. I can't stand it. Perhaps in the same way that some Michael Jackson haters didn't like the "woo!' and the "shi-moh!" in his music, thereby causing them to not like Michael Jackson. For me and The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert, its the screech. Drives me nuts. Do I want to see him win or lose? I don't care. Seriously. I'd rather have The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen win, but I'm okay with The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert winning. Does bother me that his boots are consistantly covered in saliva from the judges licking his boots every single episode.

11:46p... YES! YES!! YESS!!!! I channel Beavis & Butthead as The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert finishes "Beth" and introduces KISS!!! The entire band, full makeup and everything...

You know, if I were The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen, I'd be hacked off. He got Keith Urban... and The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert gets KISS???? How is that remotely fair? Typical of this show. And there's a screech, sandwiched between Gene Simmons and Ace. And in case you had forgotten the screech sound, he gives you another. And one more. And another. Like, four in a row? I'm not sure my brain can handle his brilliance.

11:51p... Santana stands on stage, doing his guitar mastery. Matty G, who also is very, very lucky, sings the opening verse to the classic "Black Magic Woman" before Santana busts into "Smooth", which is a great song. I think I lost my taste for "Smooth" because during that year, it was played about 9,388 per day and I heard it almost that many times... I think radio stations were just playing only that song... "This is 99.3, Smooth FM, playing 'Smooth' over and over non stop. All 'Smooth', all the time. 99.3 Smooth FM".

11:53p... Was that Rachel McAdams in the audience? Fine.

11:54p... Ford Music video! Where's the remote! Featuring David Cook! Awarding them their own 2010 Ford Fusion! Wouldn't The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert rather drive a Scion?

11:55p... Megan G, Mike the Oil Welder (I can't remember which he does, oil or weld, so we'll go with both) and... Steve Martin. That's right, Steve Martin. MJC, who still cannot sing, has this look on her face that is cracking me up... while Mike the Oil Welder is seemingly really enjoying himself, knowing this is as good as its going to get for him, music wise, MJC has this "Okay, so The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert gets KISS... The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen gets Keith Urban... freakin' Lil Rounds, who didn't even make it to the Final Five gets Queen Latifah... and I... I get Steve Martin playing a banjo? This is what I get???"

11:58p... And now, the new trailer for "G-Force", another film in the long line of crappy talking animal films from Disney... when I saw on IMDB that "G-Force" was in the pipeline, I was really excited, because I thought it was a long overdue movie version of the classic 70s cartoon, "Gatchaman", also known as "Battle of the Planets"... "G-Force". I was mucho disappointedo when I found out it was about a covert group of secret government agent spies who happened to be guinea pigs. Sigh.

12:01a... More music! I keep waiting for Scott the Blind Vampire to do some stuff with someone.... Ronnie Milsap? Stevie Wonder? All the Idol guys are doing "If You Think I'm Sexy", which is a song that The Eyebrowed One should never be allowed to sing... cause he ain't.

12:03a... Here comes Rod Stewart. Those familiar chords that we all know and love lead to... "Wake up Maggie, I think I've got something to say to you..." When I'm at Starbucks and make a drink, and the name on the cup is "Maggie", I usually say "Wake up Maggie I think I've got a drink for you..." out loud. And I laugh at my brilliant wit and fantastic humor.

12:05a... Rod is old. And this is painful. I'm not sure his hair has changed since 1976. Fast forward.

12:06a... The Outstanding Female Golden Idol nominees... and we have a sighting of Tatiana the Annoying. Can you imagine a Final Two with Tatiana the Annoying and Norman Gentle? Fox would go bankrupt and Rupert Murdoch would kill himself. You know who gets this award... Tatiana the Annoying.

So... I'm not sure if its staged or not... but Tatiana the Annoying comes to the stage, Seacrest tells her they have to go to break, she runs onstage and grabs the mic and starts to sing, Seacrest and several security guards are chasing her around the stage, she is still singing...

Cut to Ruben Studdard in the audience, with a total "What the..." look on his face. I agree, Big Daddy, I agree.

12:10a... The new Transformers movie trailer makes me giddy. Absolutely nerdy giddy. That big robot looking like a bad-A unicycle? Awesome.

12:10a... Did anyone else notice that they haven't gone back to Mikalah Gordon or Carly Smithson for anything?

12:11a... The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert and The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen stand side by side, singing "We Are the Champions". And out comes Queen, sans Freddy. I totally think the The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert should do an album of Queen songs, because I can totally see him becoming a Freddy Mercury of the 2000s. Let's pray without the AIDS part.

12:14a... Drives me nuts when I hear radio stations play "We Will Rock You" and don't play this song immediately after it. They are two different songs, but MUST be played back to back. While "We Are the Champions" can stand on its own, though I don't think it should unless its the ending credits of "Revenge of the Nerds", "We Will Rock You" needs this song to follow it. This is the only acceptable way to hear "We Will Rock You". It's like playing "American Pie" or "Lyin' Eyes" and cutting off the last verse just to save time. Unacceptable. Let's move on.


NOT EMMY TURNBOW SAFE... three curse words line the dialogue. But this is one of the few acceptable usages of "We Are the Champions" without "We Will Rock You". And a classic ending from a cheesy, awesome 80s movie.

12:15a... I'm also excited for "Funny People", with Seth Rogan and Adam Sandler. And Leslie Mann. Leslie Mann? Fine.

12:18a... Alright, let's finally get to the end of this season and this episode, also entitled "Foregone Conclusion". Simon the Cowell gives them both a little encouragement, and Mr. Bean Counter comes out and hands Seacrest the results in a sealed envelope.

12:19a... Dim the lights.

12:19... And your winner is...

12:20... What?

12:20... What? What did... what?

12:21... (rewinding DVR, looking around for The Lovely Steph Leann's possible sabotage of the video to make the ending she wanted to happen actually happen...)

12:21... Kris Allen. Huh.

12:21... Didn't see that coming.

Postscript... Had more than one or two people comment to me today about how terrible that song "No Boundries" was. And right now, I have to believe that The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert is soooooo freakin' happy he doesn't have to sing that song again.

Where will The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen rank amongst Idol winners? No way he reaches Carrie Underwood or Kelly Clarkson. I think David Cook still surpasses him, but I think he'll have a better career than Jordin Sparks and certainly Taylor Hicks... Fantasia has done more outside of music, but strictly with music, he'll take her out too.

AND FINALLY... I hope that you've enjoyed my take on Idol, and I hope that you will continue to stop by Clouds in My Coffee even thought Idol is over this year. And if you like it, if you get a laugh out of what you read, or you enjoy my take on life and pop culture, or disagree too, then tell a friend.

Kris Allen, huh? Hm. The Lovely Steph Leann? Fine.

The Coolest Things of 2007... 60 to 51

Here's the next entry in our 100 Coolest Things of 2007....

#60. The Amazing Race All Stars
Back in the Spring, the pulled together the finest teams from The Amazing Race to... okay, did I say finest? Well, when you have a team that befits the best of the PG-13 nickname, "Team Bats***", plus teams that I nicknamed Eric & The Boob and Gay Miserables, and of course, Rob & Amber who are in a competition with Omarosa for the most reality shows ever, then you have one heck of an entertaining show.

I was rooting hard for Dustin & Kandice, two of my reality show hall of famers, but they only made it to third. Here was what I thought on February 20th:

I still love Dustin & Kandice. I can't tell them apart, but the fact that no one likes them because they are so competitive makes me root for them. I'm also pulling for Uchenna and Joyce, though I'm sure going on a trip around the world is the perfect solution for a troubled marriage due to infertility.

#59. "The Shining" by Stephen King
What a creepy book. I once said that this was the most frightening book I had ever read, and since I shot through several Stephen King books, both ones I'd read and ones I hadn't, I thought it a good time to get The Shining again. And I learned something... this book isn't that scary, or at least as frightening as I remember it. However, the book is about a hundred times better than I remember it being.

Its so easy to get influenced by the Stanley Kubrick version of the book, the one where Jack Nicholson plays the Overlook Hotel caretaker, Jack Torrence. This movie in itself is a great, creepy film, but it does so much gouging of the actual book--from leaving out the hedges to the fate of Dick Halloran to the true meaning of "The Shine"--it is not far removed from being a different film altogether.

At its heart, "The Shining" is a book about a father, Jack, who has been a failure all his life and will give up everything to succeed as caretaker, and his son, Danny, who loves and idolizes his father so much, it almost costs Danny his own life. Both Jack and Danny, and mother Wendy, and Dick Hallorann are so rich in character, its a marvel just to read their stories... and the other character is The Overlook, the sinister hotel high in the Colorado mountains. King writes The Overlook as if it had feelings, as if it had anger, love, emotion, jealousy and so on, because truthfully, it does. It comes alive to manipulate Jack into getting what it wants.

This is where the movie misses out. In the movie, its just a haunted hotel and a crazy man, but in the book, you watch the hotel slowly take over the Torrence family. In my favorite scene in the book, and one of the scariest in any book, the hedges slowly come alive to try and take Danny into the hotel's soul, and they try to take Jack as well.

I rented the mini-series that came out a few years ago, with Steven Weber and Rebecca DeMornay as Jack and Wendy and it... well, it was terrible. It was given a modern day feel, but still tried to use the verbage and language from the 70s, when it was written. It highlighted much more than Kubrick's "The Shining", including key parts like the croquet mallet, the furnace and the hedges, but its just acted so poorly.

Anyway, this was a great book, one that I highly recommend picking up over a weekend. Keep the lights on. Re-watch Kubrick's "The Shining" only after you've finished the book, and steer clear of the mini-series.

#58. MLK Weekend at the Beach
Spending the weekend at the beach is a great thing. Spending the weekend at a friend's house, when it doesn't cost you anything, is a better thing. Having a bunch of good friends with you is the best.

Because The Lovely Steph Leann never gets to see her BFFs, DeLisa, Lesley & Susie, from school, late in '06 we started planning (and yes, I was one of the initial developers of this great idea) to all get together for MLK three-day weekend. There was Suzie & Mike, who owned the house we'd be staying in... there was Lesley & Jason, who lives in Crestview, parents of twins (who stayed with grandparents)... there was DeLisa & Nick, who live here in town, but we never get to see because even when you live in Birmingham, its so big it might as well be another city... and there was Mike, one half of the Mike & Ken guy duo that hung out with them. Mike brought his fiance-now-wife Daphne... or perhaps it was his wife already. I don't remember...

In the back, Mike & Daphne, Jason & Leslie. In the front, there's Nick & DeLisa, me and The Lovely Steph Leann and in the bottom right corner, Susie and Mike.

Anyway, it was a good time. We just hung out, we went shopping the next day at San Destin, we grilled out, watched sports, and just had a good time. Mostly, it was good to see Stephanie reconnect with BFF Suzie, BFF DeLisa, BFF Lesley and BFF Mike. We were going to try to do it again this year, but that didn't work so well...


#57. Tyler Graduates
I've always talked about Tyler, the Sexy Beast of the Clouds in My Coffee Blog, in a great way, cause he's really a good kid. He's my brother in law, The Lovely Steph Leann's youngest brother, and truly fun to be around.

So, naturally, it was a good time when we got to see him graduate, along with my other friends Stephen Hunt, Trey Cartledge and Garrett Cheney... and of course, like last year's graduation with Kourtney Kelley & Kandice Kelley (which ranked #20 on the Coolest Things of 2006), it was a good time to have fun with some of the names.... names like Robert Alan "Case of" Heinke, Elijah "Soy" Chai Ngaruiya, Zack Bedgood and Rizwan Poonwalla (the new Chest Rockwell and Brock Landers), and of course, The Gurley Man and the Priddy Boy.

You can go back and read the entire graduation blog here.

#56. The Lovely Steph Leann's One Liners
Sometimes, perhaps more often than not, Steph Leann is really, really funny. For whatever reason, she waited until this year to start popping off the one liners...

Me, sitting at Purple Onion, listening overhead: Is that Lional Richie I hear? At a Greek restaurant?
Steph Leann: Hey, Lionel Richie is universal.

(you can read the full story here)

Me, watching some show with Elvis on it: Elvis was really a pimp
Steph Leann: Honey... Elvis invented pimp

Me: (I don't remember what I said)
Steph Leann: There are not dust bunnies in my belly button!!!

You get the idea. Funny, funny stuff. (I'm going to regret that last one)

#55. STOMP!
What a great show. We saw it in December with Andy & Kristy Murry, who'd never seen it before (this was my fourth time). It's always great to see it with people who haven't.

Anyway, STOMP! is the percussion show where the cast makes great music with advanced instruments like brooms, dowels, rods, balloons, plastic sacks, newspapers, trash cans, trash can lids, keys and everything else you can imagine. Its a marvelous show that obviously takes a long time to prepare for... totally worth the cost.



You know, what kills me is when I was in 6th grade, I had the chance to join the band. I thought about playing drums, which would have been cool, but I waited, picking up alto sax in 9th grade. But what if I would have started on the drums in 6th grade, then in 8th grade, turn to my fellow drummers, saying "Hey, why don't we get some brooms and such, and make some music? It might be cool." I'd be a freakin' millionaire. I chalk this right under Build-a-Bear in the "why the heck didn't I think of that??" catagory.

I would highly recommend getting Stomp Out Loud on dvd. Its a tv version of the show, lasting about an hour, and there's some stuff in it that you only see on tv.

#54. "Salem's Lot" by Stephen King
Unlike "The Shining", I had never read "Salem's Lot", and unlike "Cell", I didn't know what Salem's Lot was about... well, except for vampires.

Alongside "The Shining", "The Stand" and "It", "Salem's Lot" is considered one of Stephen King's masterpieces. Written in 1975, it tells the story of Jerusalem's Lot, or 'Salem's Lot, Maine, a town that is slowly dying--or, disappearing, rather. Ben Mears, a writer, moves back into town after his wife dies, strikes up a friendship with local doctor Matt Burke and sparks a relationship with old friend Susan Norton.


He's back to write a book on The Marsten House, the local "haunted house" (because every small town has one) that gave him nightmares as a child. Things are not well at The Marsten House, which of course, why would they be--this is, after all, a true horror story.
The build-up is fantastic... you don't even know its a vampire story until at least halfway through the book. The payoff is even better, as lots of people start dying, lots of vampires start attacking and lots of goose bumps start bumping. You can even read the "bookends" of the novel, two short stories that appear in Stephen King's "Night Shift", with "Jerusalem's Lot" set before "Salem's Lot", and "One for the Road" set after.

I've never seen the original movie adaptation, but I will say like "The Shining", steer clear of the Rob Lowe starring made-for-tv adaption. Its just terrible.

#53. Transformers.
We all loved the afternoon cartoon, and some of us remember the guilty pleasure that was and is the mid-80s animated Transformers movie, the one where Optimus Prime not only curses, but dies. So, we were pretty excited when we heard that Michael Bay (the director) and Steven Spielberg (the producer) would be involved in a 2007 update of the great kid toy line.

I'll be honest with you... there's nothing about this movie I didn't like. As in, I liked EVERYTHING about this flick. There's not a throwaway line, there's not a wasted scene, even Bumblebee going from old school VW Bug to a classic Camero didn't bother me like I thought it would. The Year of Shia LaBeouf continues as he's perfectly cast, while Megan Fox lives up to her surname. And of course, you have the Autobots and Decepticons, which every guy--and some girls--were so jazzed about because it took us all back to when we were 8, raging the battle of Cybertron on our front lawn.

The ending battle through the city is phenomenal, as is just about everything about the movie.

#52. Seth Rogan
Wow this guy is funny. Who knew? Althought I saw "Knocked Up" first, I can see where his reputation started to build after "40 Year Old Virgin". And then, in "Superbad", with the crazy 'stache, as a moron cop, he's hilarious too.

I'm so diggin' the Fu stache. I'm trying to convince The Lovely Steph Leann to let me grow on.

I'll end up having to put "Freaks & Geeks" on my Blockbuster Queue, where he started on TV.

#51. Facebook
MySpace used to be the place to go, until they opened up Facebook to the world, instead of just college students and business networks. I know, I know, there are some who wanted to keep it only for college students and businesses, but I, for one, am glad they opened it.

I mean, how else can I keep up with my friends Katy Boo, Leslie Ailsworth, Sam Allison, Amy Anderson, Blair and Matt Andress, Hannah Armstrong, Andrew Atkinson, Bobbi Jo, Shawn Baxley, Lauren Beam, Fish, BCM Brad, Binkley, Curtis Black, My Little Perfect Daughter, Jana Blackwell, Shelby, Katie Bolt, Tyler Bolton, Malinda Nichols, J-Bo, Meredith Brazzell, Wendy Brobst, Crush, Nikki Brown, Mike Brunson, David Bullock, Rob, Jessica & Kathy Compton, Sister Golden Hair, Cara Caillouet, All the Gfeller girls, Shiloh, Chad & Ashley Campbell, Tyler, Michelle Carr, Jamie & Trey Cartledge, All the Long Girls, Big Ben Caver, Karen Chapman, Lacey Chappell, Christi Chastain, Garrett Cheney, Paige Cheney, The Clark Girls, My Little College Freshman, Carol Anne, Marcus Clement, Jason & Andrea, Ty & Donette, Megan Bryan "was almost Dollar" Collins, Jordan Craddock, Jonathan & Amanda Cranston, Steph Crisp, Logan Crook, Shelley Streed, Josh Crosby, Brittany & Chris Croyle, Brooke Culpepper, Cassidy Curles, Jeremy Davis, Tama Davis, Tobi Davis, Wendi Deckermiller, Laura DeGH, Jeff Dickey, Sharon Dobbins, Ellen Donze, Luthor, J-Dotson, Beverly Earman, Liz Beth Earman, Clint Ellis, Adam Ellis, Deena Emaish, Jenn Ersnt, Lindsay Mims, Aaryn Figert, Joanna Finch, Jared Fincher, All the Fine Kids (minus Aaron), Kelly Fisher, Stacey Francis, Susie Franks, Caroline Franks, Wook Fu, Sammi Funk, Chase Garner, Mollie Garrigan, Louie Giglio, Lane Gilmore, Courtney Glicken, Abbey Gore, Emily Lovinggood, Kim Graham, both Zack and Kara Graves, Devan Grayson, Katie Green, Stephen Greer, Little Jaci, Matt Grimes, Tony Griffies, Jordan Grubb, the elder two Guthrie children, Alyssa Guy, Lora Haghighi, Ashton Hale, The Hall, Steph Halpert, Leah Hamel, Kyle Hanson, Anna Banana, Tamara Harper, Sarah Hasha, Philip Hasha, Drew Hataway, Haley's Comet, Jessica Hawbaker, Kelcie & Danielle Hicks, Jeff Herring, Annaka Hindman, Joey Hinson, Jess Hodges, Aleicia Hornsby, Julie Howell, Dan Howard, Whitney Huff, Stephen Hunt, Ink Hwangpo, Rachel & Sarah Jacks, Molly, Jill, Marie & Sybil Johnson, Joy JohnsTon, Megan, Chris and Jeremy Jones, Gabe & Giselle Josef, Stefanie & Stacy Jovanioviahnivhich, Andrew Kallus, Cari Kates, the Entire Kelley Family, Alissa Kelly, Lara Kolmetz, Gretchen Krisher (wait... who? Oh yeah, Gretchie!), Launi Larrabee, All three Latta boys and their women, Manda Laughlin, Kelsie Lawson, Alyssa Lehr, Jon Lenning, Ann Marie, My Little Muffinhead, My Little Muffinhead's bro Brad, Laran Lofton, Ashley Lovell, Deb Lowe, The Mackeys, Mama P, Erin Magonigal, Eazy E, Jonathan and Jennifer Marbutt, Morgan Marks, Paige Martin, Josh Martin, Crystal Martin, Meredith May, Ryan Mays, Chris McCall, Kasey McCarver, Keri McLendon, Jennifer McShea, Big Eddy Mac, Little Eddy Mac, Krista Mac, Jesalyn McCurry, Shannon Megan, Vicki McGee, Courtney McGough, Bradley McGuffey, Jonathan McKenzie, Tommy, Amy & Bruce McLeod, Paul McRae, Chad McRee, Mateo and Cherene, Karina, Steph and Kellen Miller, The Downeaster Alexa, John Milton, Jennifer Mims, Super Dana, Kelly Mize, Amanda Abbott, Drew Morris, Justin Moseley, Porcia, Andy Murry, Mikey Nipp, Katie & Alyce Noland, My Twinkie Adrianne, Trey O'Neal, Angie Mark Pilgrim Osborne, all three Osborne kids, Kelli Parks, Christy & Ricky Parvin, Rick Paschal, Andrea Payton, Leigh Pegg, Tina Pilgrim, Pinky, Bradley Pinkerton, Laura Parker Posey, Kevin Price, Hannah Pruitt, McQ, Rebe Raffini, Dave Ramsey, Jeremiah Rastegar, Matt & Steph Rector, Mary Reed, Alan Renfroe, K-Swiss, Amanda Rials, Ashley Rials, Destiny Richards, Jessica Rogers, Jenny Ross, Heather Rowland, Kevin Sanders, Melinda Schauland, Petey & Jenn, Kasie Secrest, Audrey Senkbeil, Beth Sentell, Shawnifer, Rene Sheppard, LP Sherman (42 Wallaby Way), Brain Sherrell, Christine Shores, Whitney Shores, Shrop, Kristi Simmons, Cindy Skipworth, Tallahassee, Shawn Smallwood, Steve, Justin and Jason Smith, My Little Sister, Rocky, Butters, Savannah Stamps, Beth Stanley, Gweer Stanton, Dave Stephens, Sgt Stone, Paulie Sutton, Kat Switzer, Ginny Temple, Saratara, Katytara, Lolo, Joey Thomason, Julia Thomason, Abby... excuse me, Abigail Thomason, Joey Thornell, Diva Trent, Courtney Trippe, Trinity Tucker, Haley Turnage, Jennifer Mullins Turpin, Amy Valdmanis, Julie Vance, Todd & Brooke Veleber, Luke Vogel, Nick Wade, Jessica Walker, K-Dub, Kyriae Warner, Sarah Warren, Michael Warren, The Wasyluka, Meredith Watkins, My Little Bobblehead, Maisha Watson, Weaver, Derek Weeks, Ashley Wehunt, Kelley Whatley, Erin Whidden, Molly White, Sierra Wiginton, Jordan Willcox, Jessica Williams, Leah Williams, Chase Williams, So Very Kari Wilson, Theresa Wilson, Alisa Worley, Angela Wren, Devon Yarbrough, PauYau! and Claire Young?

It would be impossible, really.

Coming up... the Top 50 Coolest Things of 2007, including Weird Al's Latest video, the war in Disney, Fergalicious and, at last, K-Dub.

December Moments

December promise you have unto me... December whispers of treachery... December clouds are now covering me... December songs no longer I sing... "December" by Collective Soul

No reason for the song lyrics, just thought it would fit being December and all. Don't know of any tunes for January, or that have January in them... since I havent blogged for real in a while, I thought I would just throw out some randomness to end the year.

Sitting here at the Campbell's home, the parents of the lovely Steph Leann, having eaten all weekend, whether it be ham or turkey, or strawberry pretzel casserole, or green bean casserole, or sweet potato cassorole or whatever, probably gaining about four pounds... such is Christmas.

Currently, Alabama is barely holding on against Colorado in the Indepen... excuse me, the Petro Sun Independence Bowl. You have to think that the announcers get so irritated now that they can't just say "Independence Bowl", because I'm sure its in the contract that Petro Sun gets a mention everytime the bowl is said aloud.

Of course, I guess its better than being a commentator of The San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl. I wish I could make that up.

Its important to remember, though, that we can never have a college playoff in Division I... um, the Football Bowl Subdivision... because we must protect the integrity of the bowl system, like the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl, or the Konica Minolta Gator Bowl or the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl... or my favorite, the Brut Sun Bowl. I will now go punch myself in the face.

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I just heard the announcer say "You know, you hear people clamoring for a playoff in the college game, but today in the NFL, they dealt with 'do we sit starters?' and 'do we play hard or rest our guys?', plus there were several games today that were throwaway games... do we really want this in college football?"

The answer? Absolutely. There is no reason why you can't have a playoff bracket in college, and that guy should be kicked in the nads just for saying such a stupid argument. We know its about money, and honestly, the only reason that the playoff isn't being considered is the PAC 10 thinks their Rose Bowl is so special, they don't want to disrupt the tradition. And thats stupid too. Absolutely stupid. I'll stop before I get angry.

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My nephew Benjamin got Transformers for Christmas. I remember when I was younger, 6 or 7 or 8, and I got a few Transformers for Christmas, and they had like, maybe four or five motions. You can roll the car, and as you're in motion, do the quick five movements and you can keep going with the Transformer, your war against those pesky Decepticons continues.


You think its easy going from an ambulance to this? As I was doing it, four pieces fell off. No, I'm not kidding.

Now? It has an instruction sheet that looks like a floor plan, and it plays out like an algebriac formula. I've tried to transform three of these things this weekend, and was successful only once. I imagine you keep rolling with your ambulance, and suddenly, the action stops for twenty minutes while you figure out how to make him a robot. You need more than better instructions, you need a sedative and a room.

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Some of my favorite Christmas specials include "The Grinch that Stole Christmas", "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", and of course, the "A Charlie Brown Christmas", which truly is not only the best Christmas special, but by far the best Charlie Brown special.

Not only did CBS hate it originally, one of the execs actually said "You can't read the Bible on network TV!" For some fun reading material, here's the full story.

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Here's a list of Fifty Nerdy Things to Do Before You Die. Let's see... 48, 42 and 7 is all I got. Though I could have done #31 while at Downtown Disney. I'm serious. Next time, I'm doing it.

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My Christmas haul this year? I got the latest in the Complete Peanuts series, which I am excited about. I have probably mentioned this before, but its a book series which is printing, in chronological order, every Peanuts strip Charles Schulz ever drew. Each book contains 2 years, starting with 1955-56. I think there is supposed to be around 27 or 28 books in the series, with one coming out in the spring and the fall of every year. I've managed to get them from the beginning, and I'll pick up the new one in April when it comes out.

Also obtained, Transformers on dvd, Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix on dvd, some iTunes money, a great A Christmas Story ornament from Steph, a series that I think I'd like to start collecting every year, and Stephen King's "It", in hardcover. They don't make it in trade paperback, so I got the big monster book.

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In the last week, I've been able to see "National Treasure: Book of Secrets", "I Am Legend" and "No Country for Old Men"

"I Am Legend" is good. Its not great, but its good. Will Smith does a great job of carrying the film, a la Tom Hanks in "Castaway", and its in a film that not many could carry. What gets me is the zombie things. I don't know what else could have been done, but when it goes from a creepy, isolation film to a zombie film, it loses something. The book, written by Richard Matheson, is supposed to be far superior, and reading the plot line on Wikipedia, it sounds like it. But still, it is a good film.

"National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets" was also not great, but just good. However, I wanted this movie to be better. It is, at its heart, a re-hash of the first film, and suffers from the Jurassic Park complex. Let me explain... Jurassic Park, like the first National Treasure, was original, with lots of "wow" and "that was awesome!" moments. The concept was original, the plot was entertaining, and its one you really could just jump into at any time. When Jurassic Park 2 came out, it wasn't as good. It was like, "Okay, you've shown me dinosaurs, so give me something else", only to be given more dinosaurs.


Anytime your movie is just "eh", you can throw in a hot chick and make it better. Of course, she's no Amy Adams, my nominee for the Hottest Chick of 2007 Not Named Stephanie or Ashley Judd.

With "National Treasure: Book of Secrets", you think "okay, you've shown me innovative clues and historical plotlines, now give me something else", only to be given more clues and historical plotlines. Diane Kruger does add to it, mostly because she's smokin' hot, and the appearance of Ed Harris is kind of cool too. (For a really good Nic Cage/Ed Harris duo, check out "The Rock") However, the more I think about NT:BoS, the more I don't know that I'll like it if I watch it again. Unlike...

"No Country for Old Men", which was absolutely amazing. Featuring Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones and Javier Bardem, it is, on the surface, a drug-deal-gone-wrong chase movie. But at its heart, its interesting, its fascinating, and its rough. Javier Bardem is a creep on the level of Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs, not just killing, but killing based on principal. Truly, the star of the movie is Tommy Lee Jones. He's an old school sheriff, and the entire movie, you can tell it just pains him to know what the world is coming to, even though the movie is set in the early 80s. I'd like to see it again, just to catch anything I missed. Is it great? I think so, but you need to call it. I can't call it for you. It wouldn't be fair.

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So, remember KITT? Because the owner was murdered, you can now buy the original car to help satisfy his debts. That's almost creepy.

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Starbucks tends to get busy around this time of year. Our store's manager, Meredith, left two weeks ago for 12 weeks of maternity leave, leaving me the keys and the reins to the whole shebang. Right during Christmas... but hey, bring it on. I can handle it.

Of course, it would help if our customers were smarter sometimes. I mean, if its Sunday, and Christmas Day is Tuesday, please don't get upset if you come in and we don't have gift card holders. This year, the little holder that you put the card in is a cute, red little mitten. But when you load up almost $18,000 in gift cards in a week, like we did, you tend to run out. Its really not my fault if you wait until the last minute to get one, so please don't get mad at me. Be creative. It doesn't destroy the pleasure of the gift card if you don't put it in a little red mitten.

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Had a lady come to the drive thru, one that comes through a lot. She's a little odd. Okay, a lot odd, but still...

Anyway, she pulls up to the window, parks her car, gets out and rambles on about how her window is broken. She then pulls out almost her whole purse onto the drive thru plane to find the $3.48 to pay for her drink, not to mention during a rush.

She gets her beverage, she rolls away, we roll our eyes, and the next lady pulls up. I hand her her drink, and say "Sorry about that wait. The customer before you was taking her time", and the lady looks at me and says "Oh my gosh... I was watching her from behind here in the line, and that lady is freakin' crazy!!"

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Of course, I'll take crazy people over customers who... order an iced green tea, and ask for it to be blended. In the blender. Have you ever blended ice water? The same thing. You have to dip it out with a frakkin' spoon. And typically, the lady orders it during our busiest times.

Another lady likes to order a venti iced latte... and have it blended. We just make the drink, then toss it in the blender. Not as annoying as the green iced tea blended, but still... its annoying.

Then again, I really can't stand people who work the system to save 20 cents. Like, ordering a grande americano, in a venti cup, and please just fill the rest up with milk. Um... thats not a grande americano. That's a 3 shot venti americano with 1/4 milk. But, to save 20 cents, you're going to order incorrectly. Cheapo.

The worst are what we call ghetto lattes. That's when you order three or four shots over ice, but ask for the cup to be filled up with ice. Then you take your drink to the condiment bar, and use our milk we set out for coffee, empty the container to fill up your cup with milk, and get a venti iced americano for the price of a triple espresso. This is wrong, people. Don't do it. This is called cheating. I'm going to get fired one day for calling people on it. Kinda irritates me.

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Speaking of "breaking out of prison", if it worked for Andy Dufresne....

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For some light reading, here's an analysis of what went wrong with Howard the Duck. I know you were wondering, and for Mikey Nipp, it has lots of pictures.

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It's the end of the year, and of course, there are tons of lists out there... the best of 2007, and the worst of 2007, covering books, movies, music, theater, websites, people, sports, teams, whatever, so on and so forth. Coming up in January of 2007... the THIRD annual Coolest Things About the Year list. That's right, I've been doing it for three years now. Amongst contenders to make this 2007 list include: Paula Maddox, The Purple Onion, PhilharMagic, Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix movie, Rush Limbaugh's smackdown on Sen. Harry Reid, Colbie Caillat, Grey's Anatomy, Nikki Brown and even more.

Working on it now.

Bryce Dallas Howard (and other reviews)

As I sat in the theater, watching Spiderman 3 at midnight on Thursday night, my emotions went from happiness to frustration to bewilderment, and back again. And, at 245am, I strode out of The Rave Motion Picture Theater at Lee Branch with only one thought on my mind... I wanted it to be better.

Before we get going, let me answer two questions that will pop up... yes, I am a comic book geek, which includes several Spiderman titles. And no, I don't get angry when movies stray from the comic book vision of a character, as long as it makes sense.

I've been trying for several days to pinpoint exactly what it was that made me not go crazy over this film much as I had after Spiderman 2 and the original. Maybe its a "3" thing... X-Men: The Last Stand, Superman III, Lethal Weapon 3, Police Academy 3, all inferior to the first two that make the series so great... I paid 8 bucks for it, and yeah, I'm okay with the fact that I did, but I wouldn't see it a second time.

The easiest way to do this is just list it... here's what I didn't like:
--It took forever to get to Venom. This was proably the most anticipated villian in a comic book movie in a long, long time, and though the payoff was great, the wait was maddening.
--Kirsten Dunst looks... well, crappy. Playing the gorgeous Mary Jane Watson, she comes across as someone who always has just rolled out of bed. She's sad, she's angry, she's impatient (yes, rightly so, but still). I file Kirsten under "The Angelina Jolie Memorial Chicks Who the Whole World Thinks Is So Hot But I Just Don't Get It Club"
--Harry Osborne is a dork. Plain and simple. The set-up from the last movie is that Harry wants to kill Spiderman for the murder of his father (who was also the Green Goblin). The payoff is like being teased with a steak from Outback and getting a hot dog from Sneaky Pete's.
--Another part that had the potential for being out of this world was Venom taking over Peter Parker. Venom, really an alien symbiote, is aggressive, and makes its host just as aggressive. Peter could have been vicious, crazy, out of control, almost like the Bad Superman vs Clark Kent kind of battle in Superman III (about the only decent part of that wretched piece of bile). What happens is he turns into a joke. Watch the dance scene, tell me I'm wrong.
--Emo Peter Parker. Read the above paragraph.
--Can we have one bad guy who isn't a result of an alien or an experiment gone wrong? Anyone?
--How 'bout they crammed what seemed like 1,633 subplots into this movie... you had Uncle Ben's death revisited, Flint Marko's dilemma, Eddie Brock, Peter loves Mary Jane, Peter likes Gwen, Harry is ticked off, Spidey vs. Venom, Spidey vs. Sandman, Spidey vs whatever Harry Osborne was calling himself (cause it sho' wasnt something cool like the Hobgoblin). I kept wondering if this is secretly a Robert Altman film and no one wanted to admit it.


Oh look, its an excuse to post a picture of Bryce Dallas Howard.

That being said, here's what is right about the film:
--Topher Grace, leaving all shades of Eric Forman behind, as Eddie Brock. Eddie is a journalist who is humiliated, and seeks revenge on Spiderman, and Topher plays him to the hilt. Even when he becomes Venom, Topher is totally cool and mean in the character. --Bryce Dallas Howard as Gwen Stacy. She wasn't really given enough to do in this movie, but she was... uh... well, she's quite the attractive young lady there.
--The effects were astounding. I mean, just simply great. The final battle is pretty wicked-bad too.
--Character actor JK Simmons is perfect as J. Jonah Jameson, and I now cannot imagine anyone else playing the part. (speaking of JK, its surprising how much stuff you'll see him in... Steph and I watched the last 30 minutes of a underrated Kevin Costner movie, "For Love of the Game", only to see JK onscreen as the manager)
--Thomas Haden Church was also perfect as Flint Marko, who ends up being The Sandman. I kinda like how he wasn't played evil, just forced to do bad things to help his family. Reminded me of Ahnold as Mr. Freeze in Batman & Robin. Okay, well, anything that reminds me of Batman & Robin probably isn't that good.
--Bruce Campbell plays yet another small cameo part. Bruce, a buddy of Raimi's, starred in Sam Raimi's classic Evil Dead series, and pops up here and there in various flicks. How can you not like a guy who is starring in a movie called "Bubba Nosferatu and the Curse of the She Vampires", and its not even a porn flick?

Should you go see it? Yeah, probably. I'm not telling you the movie is terrible, because it's not. It's actually pretty good. Not great, not very good, not amazing, just... pretty good. And that hurts me to say it, because when I come out of "Bug", the new Goddess & Global Ambassador Ashley Judd film, "pretty good" is a very good thing to say about it. For something like Spiderman 3, "pretty good" is a disappointment. I hope Harry Potter fares better.

By the way, it might have been only the midnight showing special, but we saw trailers for "Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End" (there's that "3" thing again), Live Free or Die Hard, Transformers, the new Harry Potter flick (you were right, Nikki), and The Bourne Ultimatum. All look great.

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Just finished a book called "Cell" by Stephen King. Now, you may not know I used to be an absolute Stephen King Junkie... I joined the "Stephen King Book Club" when I was a junior in high school, and every six weeks, I'd get a new book in the mail. By the time I left the club some five or six years later, I had about 30 of his books, and had actually read several of them... I enjoyed the heck out of "Pet Semetary", "Cujo" and "Christine", all keenly superb to the movies that tried model them. "The Shining" is perhaps the scariest book I've ever read, and my favorite turned out to be "It". Don't judge book by the silly miniseries.

The reason I say "had" 30 of his books is that I put them in The Deuce storage unit, and the Honorable Rev'rn Ty Coffey put two plastic bins of clothes atop of my book boxes, causing the closed box to rip and open... thus a year later, I've got 30 books covered in funk and mold. Thanks Senator.

I have yet to tackle the Dark Tower Series... frankly, it intimidates me. If I have trouble starting "The Stand", I know all seven volumes of The Dark Tower will kick my buttocks. And the only movies I can say are better than the stories that tell them are "Stand By Me" based on "The Body", and of coure "The Shawshank Redemption", based on "Rita Hayworth & the Shawshank Redemption". Both are from the King book "Different Seasons". Close, however, is "Misery".

Anyway, "Cell" tells the story of a man named Clay, who is estranged from his wife, but has good news to tell her--he just signed a comic book deal with Dark Horse Comics, and on his way to tell her the good news, stops off at an ice cream truck in Boston's Common area for a tasty treat.

A few minutes later, a "pulse" happens, though you don't know that's what it is at that second. Everyone who is or was on their cell phones at the time of the pulse goes crazy... they start killing people, biting into necks, running around grumbling gibberish. All this part I knew going into the story... I was not expecting the story that came to be after it, however.

Clay joins forces with a stranger named Tom, and together they work their way to the safety of a locked up hotel. Along the way, they meet and grab Alice, a 15 year old who had seen her mother get "pulsed" and go crazy, trying to kill her.

Clay's main concern is his son, Johnny G, who happens to own a cell phone, and the group sets off to work ther way up to New Hampshire, where Clay's residence is. Along the way, they make some startling discoveries... for one, the Phone-Crazies, as they are soon to be called, don't come out at night, only during the day time. Early in the morning and late in the evening, they are seen "flocking" in the same direction, all in lockstep with each other, all clearly moving with a common purpose. Another thing Alice picks up is that the Phone-Crazies are getting smarter.

Though never fully explained in detail, the cause of the pulse isn't as supernatural as you might think, and overall, the book is a fantastic story. There is an "out of the blue" death in the last 1/3 that left me rather empty, but after all their travels and meetings with strangers that become instrumental in what they are doing, the book draws to a satisfactory end.

It's classic Stephen King, with words written in such a manner that you can not just picture every character, but also the details of their face, the body langauge they give off and the personalities that you begin to either loath or enjoy, but at least you care one way or another.

I've just started reading "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon", and it's not bad so far either... but I can definately recommend "Cell" to anyone who's thought about buying it. Go for it.

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Watched a great flick called "The Holiday" last night as well... I've heard alot about this, reviews were pretty good, word of mouth has been good--and after seeing it, I can say it earned its praise.

Iris (the wonderful Kate Winslet) is an editor at a magazine, and she's been in love with her ex, Jasper, for three years. He has just become engaged to the girl he cheated on Iris with, and didn't even bother to tell Iris, even though they work in the same building.

Five thousand miles away, we meet movie trailer editor Amanda (a surprisingly cute Cameron Diaz), who is throwing her shoes at her boyfriend Ethan (Edward Burns). It seems Ethan has been out until 3 in the morning frolicking with his secretary. Amanda kicks him out, and now we have two miserable girls.

So Amanda gets online, discovers this "Exchange-a-Home" program, where you change homes (this type of program actually exists, by the way), cars and lives for 2 weeks with someone... and the house she finds is owned by Iris in England. They agree, they swap houses, and we watch two stories unfold... Amanda meets Graham, an charming Englishman played by Jude Law, and they begin a whirlwind romance, while Iris is trying to over Jasper (who keeps calling anyway), and ends up meeting Arthur (Eli Wallach), an elderly legendary movie director, and strikes up a meaningful friendship... then she meets Miles, a movie score composer, played by... Jack Black.


Kate Winslet was my excuse to watch this movie, and lo and behold, I enjoyed it

I really liked this film. It was fun, it was funny and it was sweet in all the right places. All four leads--Winslet, Diaz, Law and Black--were perfect in their roles. The romance between Amanda and Graham is believable, and honestly, I haven't seen Cameron Diaz really attractive in a role since she was Kimmy in "My Best Friends Wedding". The romance between Miles and Iris is more subtle, and for good reason... who wants to see a love
scene involving Jack Black?

Anyone who reads this knows I hold Kate Winslet with high regard, and it was awesome to see her play a modern day Englishwoman... no corsets, no American accents, no sinking ships, just... her character was just average, which made her gorgeous.

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The Amazing Race ended on Sunday night, with a whimper really. It's been an awesome season, mostly because of the teams that annoy everyone, that being Rob & Amber (who were booted in episode 5) and of course, Mirna and Charla, also known as Team Bats***.

Remaining was the aforementioned batty team, Eric and Danielle, and my reality show hall of famers, Dustin and Kandice. A few weeks ago, I was reading the review of the episode on Entertainment Weekly's site (one of many tv and movie sites you can find by going to the side links on the right -->) and for whatever reason, scrolled down to read some comments. There was some jerk who said something like "I read that Eric and Danielle win, D&K come in 2nd, and Mirna and Charla are in 3rd".

So with this in the back of my mind, I kept waiting for Team Bats*** or Eric and the Boobs to get eliminated (but of course, not Dustin & Kandice) just to prove the poster wrong, but when these made it to the final three, I knew who would win. Darn it. Darn it darn it darn it. I am the guy who actually will read the last chapter of a book before I start the whole thing, and sometimes will find out how a movie will end before I watch it, but darn it, let my Amazing Race unfold.

I wasn't alone though... here's what EW's Josh Wolk said to open his review: So the insistently rude spoiler posting on this site was right: Eric and Danielle won. Somewhere out there, our little suspense obliterator was grinning happily as the platonic duo hit the mat first, pleased with himself that this was no surprise to anyone. Now that it's over, how will he spend his summer? Attending birthday parties and shouting out what's in each present just as children are about to unwrap them?

Anyway, I almost felt bad for Team Bats*** in the end, because two of the last three challenges were so physically exhausting, there's almost no way to beat Eric & The Boobs, and even Dustin & Kandice. And they didn't, the poster was right, and I was left feeling let down, after all the good build up, I wanted a better finish, and I felt... well, like I was walking out of Spiderman 3 all over again.