top ten books of 2016

Read the other two posts that precede this.... first, my love of audiobooks, and second, the books that didn't make the top ten.

HONORABLE MENTION

"Superheroes Are For Real" by Ethan Bryan (2016)
I didn't count this in my Top Ten, as it's a children's book, but it's still worth the 15 minutes it takes to read.  It glorious comic book style color, its the story of a little girl who sees her dad as... well, a superhero.  It's so much fun, and such a sweet story, and my favorite anecdote from Ethan Bryan (who is a friend of mine, and pasty white) is "Someone asked me why the dad and daughter in the story are black.  My answer was 'Why not?'"  Get this book and read to and with your kids.

Oh, hey Anna Kendrick.  How you?

10 - "Scrappy Little Nobody" by Anna Kendrick (2016)

One of my favorite "new era" of actresses, as in, those in their 20s who we are witnessing the early part of what will be a long career (see, "Stone, Emma" or "Watson, Emma"), she writes various stories of her coming-up, from theater to auditions to love to life in general, all with a sort of awkward tone... because as fun as she may be, she's awkward, and that's part of her charm.

9 - "End of Watch" by Stephen King (2016)

After "Mr. Mercedes" and "Finders Keepers" (which I think is the best in the trilogy), King ends the Bill Hodges Trilogy with the reemergence of the Brady Hartsfield, the villain in the first one (with only a cameo in the second). Its a solid ending, and a great effort.  Will Patton is a regular King narrator, and though his female voices border the line between decent and silly, its still a great journey.

8 - "Right for a Reason: Life, Liberty & a Crapload of Common Sense" by Miriam Weaver and Amy Jo Clark, aka The Chicks on the Right (2014)

Let's put it this way... if you are conservative, you'll love this indictment of Black Lives Matter, Hillary Clinton, the liberal media, the hypocrisy of Hollywood and more. If you are a liberal, you will think this book is full of crap.  You can probably tell where I fall on that spectrum.

7 - "Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (and everything in between)" by Lauren Graham (2016)

Oh, and she does.  Lauren Graham is one of my favorites on TV, playing one of my favorite TV roles ever -- Lorelei Gilmore -- and this is a quick dash through her early career, her experience on Gilmore Girls and the awesomeness of the new Gilmore Girls series.  She's full of jokes and one-liners (most land, a few do not) and great energy, and you just want to sit with her and ask all the questions about all the things. 

6 - "How to Survive a Horror Movie: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills" by Seth Grahame-Smith (2007)

Before he was the best selling author of "Pride & Prejudice & Zombies" (along with "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter", which was turned into one of the worst films I've seen in recent memory), Grahame-Smith wrote up this little ditty about what to do when facing the travails and problems of a horror film. You'll learn what to do when faced with such horrors as cannibalistic hillbillies, serial killers, zombies, vampires, haunted Japanese videocassettes and more.  It's the funniest book I read all year, and anyone who's ever watched a coed go into a dark basement with a low-bulb flashlight in a film will appreciate the pop culture here.

5 - "Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic & Madness at the Fair that Changed the World" by Erik Larsen

This book is crazy good. Two parallel stories -- one is Daniel Burnham, an architect who was given the task of constructing and pulling off the 1893 World's Fair in Chicago.  The other is the story of H.H. Holmes, who was a sadistic killer who built a "murder castle", full of torture rooms and dead bodies... and both stories intertwine even though the Burnham and Holmes rarely cross paths within the story itself.  While Burnham's story is compelling, dealing with the politics and limitations of the day in an effort to make what was then one of the biggest events on the planet, its Holmes' story that brings this book to life. The building he constructed was pure evil, purposely built for killing and disposing of lots of bodies, many of them being women and children.  Oh, and this isn't a fiction book -- this is a true story, soon to be a movie with Leonard DiCaprio.

SIDEBAR... I finished the last 4 hours of this book while on a plane headed to Anaheim for training in Disneyland last September.  I was around 30 minutes from completion as I walked out of John Wayne Airport towards the Disney transportation area.  And I spent the entire trip from the airport to the Disneyland listening to the rest of the book, literally hearing the last few words as the bus rolled to a stop in front of the Grand Californian.  True story.

4 - "The Whistler" by John Grisham (2016)

Investigator Lacy Stoltz and her partner Hugo Hatch get a call from a mysterious source named Myers, who has information on the corruption at a high judicial level centering on a casino on the Tappacola Indian Reservation in the Florida panhandle.  Thus begins the unfolding of a tense tale of mafia, bad judges, money laundering and more.  Grisham went through a period of novels that told a good story and had terrible endings (I'm looking at you, "The Appeal"), but his last four or five have been at the least solid and at their best, stellar.  This falls somewhere in between, but I really enjoyed the twists.   Note:  Make sure you get a copy of the "prequel", "Witness to a Trial", available on Kindle and Audible.com -- its not mandatory, but it sets up "The Whistler" really, really well.

Flynn novels always have ominous
and cool covers

3 - "Sharp Objects" by Gillian Flynn (2006)

I avoided this book for a while, because while I enjoyed "Gone Girl", and really loved "Dark Places" (avoid the movie, its terrible), I wasn't sure if I wanted to read a tale about a chick who cuts herself obsessively.  Finally, though, I felt I needed to read it to cross off all of Flynn's novels.  And I'm glad I did.  Camille Preaker is a journalist with many, many issues, who is sent by her tiny newspaper to her Missouri hometown to investigate the murder of a little girl.  Soon, another body shows up, and Camille and detective Richard Willis -- also her love interest -- try to unravel this case.  And it keeps taking bizarre turns, culminating in an ending that I sorta saw coming, but was thrilling nonetheless. 

I've heard rumors that Flynn has a new novel coming out in May, and I'm sure I'll be listening to it the day it's released.

2 - "TV: The Book: Two Experts Pick the Greatest American TV Show of All Time" by Alan Sepinwall and Matt Zoller Seitz

Being a pop culture junkie, how about a book that essentially runs down the Top 100 television shows of all time, gives an additional list of "almost there" shows and another list of shows that could make future lists.  They start right out of the gate with their Top Five, as they go back and forth on which one could actually be the greatest show of all time -- The Simpsons, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, The Wire, Cheers or The Sopranos.  (I'll let you read to find out how they end up finally ranking out)

It's a great reminder of the history of television, as they dive deep into old shows like The Rifleman, Twilight Zone and Dark Shadows, and argue over how good or how bad shows like The Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island were.  It's a fat stack of 436 pages, but I breezed through it, wondering where my favorite all time TV shows ranked... hint:  Out of The Wonder Years, Facts of Life and Scarecrow & Mrs King, only one of them showed up.  Sad!

SIDEBAR: It's no secret I'm slowly working on my own book.  It's a movie book, and it pretty much discusses my favorite 500 films of all time. I'd already decided the "talk about one by one" format was how I was going to go, and the fact this works so well here makes me comfortable in my own decision.

And.. the best book I read all year...

"THE BIG SHORT: INSIDE THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE" BY MICHAEL LEWIS



Just re-watched this movie this week. Its got
great re-watchability.

Math confuses me sometimes, so you toss in elements of subprime lending, collateralized debt obligation (CDO) and credit default swaps, and I'm all like "Huh?"  Enter Michael Lewis, the amazing author of "The Blind Side" and "Moneyball", two books (and movies) I love very much.  Lewis' take on the housing market collapse of the mid-2000s that led to the bankruptcy and demise of generations old firms like Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers is fantastic, and spelled out pretty easily. There is still a lot to absorb, and I'd be lying if I told you I understood most half of it, at least well enough to explain it to you, but I did come away with an full understanding of it. 

The characters in the book have depth -- especially since they are real people -- including Howie Hubler who literally lost $900 Billion (that's with a B, not a typo) in a SINGLE DAY... Steven Eisman, a hedge fund manager who is working to system to get rich and yet is still appalled by the entire thing... and Michael Burry, a market analyst with Asperger's, who saw the collapse coming and pushed through the derision and criticism of everyone else to make a boatload of cash at the end. 

If you've seen the equally excellent movie "The Big Short", Christian Bale portrays the Burry character, and what you see on camera -- the nervousness, the loud music, the shorts and t-shirt in the office, the slight lisp and speech impediment, the socially awkward style -- is exactly who he is in the book. 

SIDEBAR:  Personally, I thought he and Tom Hardy's character in "The Revenant" were miles ahead of anyone else in 2014 and should have split the Best Supporting Actor Oscar which went to the undeserving Mark Rylance in "Bridge of Spies", but that's me. I mean, its my opinion, but I'm still right.

So there ya go...  my favorite ten books of the year!   

the 2014 oscars running diary

Okay... so first things first. BLOGGER SUCKS. I'm working on a way to switch to WordPress, but that isn't going to do me any good right now...

And that means that the formatting here will be all kinds of jacked up, to' up from the flo' up. Lots of random spacing, so please just be patient. I'll fix it as I can.

And as usual, I'm putting the latest update on the bottom.

So, without further Ado.... The Academy Awards, 2014...

730... Its America's Favorite Lesbian, Ellen DeGeneres! 

732p... The Lovely Steph Leann laughed heartily at Ellen's old joke about June Squibb... I'm waiting to laugh. I'm hoping it comes soon.

733p... Calling out a Liza Minnelli impersonator... it was the real Liza. Now THAT is funny.

735p... Amy Adams sighting. Sigh. Heart beating fast.

735p... Oh hush. When Colin Firth comes on screen, The Lovely Steph restraints herself from licking the screen.

736p... Even with a Beiber haircut, Jennifer Lawrence looks good...

737p... Half the women I know wishes their hair could be as silky smooth as Jared Leto

739p... Ellen's monologue. Amusing, but safe. 

740p... Anne Hathaway out to do the Best Supporting Actor Award!  I wonder if she's thinking, "I'm being judged on my horrible Oscar hosting duties with Jimmy Franco, after everyone just saw Ellen kill it..."  I picked Jared Leto as the winner here, though how much would I love to see Bradley Cooper get this. 

742p... When a cross dressing dude sings "I'm pretty" while putting on makeup, I immediately think of Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs

742p... Jared Leto, Oscar Winner, Supporting Actor. I'm 1-0 for the night.

745p... Is it just me, or are they giving Jared Leto like, forever to speak? Is it because he's discussing transgender AIDS?

746p... Ellen just did a selfie live on stage. I went to follow her on Twitter, and it shut down on me...

747p... Jim Carrey, who has never been nominated (he deserved it for The Truman Show) says, "It must be tiring to be a nominee..." Hilarious.   Honestly, I'm not sure if he'll ever win an Oscar, unless he has a once-in-a-lifetime performance... like, Matthew McConaughey...

He introduces animated Heroes, with "Heroes" being the theme tonight... Mr Incredible was first, as he should be.

750p... I just saw Dax Shepard. How did Dax Shepard get into the Oscar seating? As a seat filler?  (later I remembered that he's married to Kristen Bell... so that's how he gets there...)

750p... Pharrell is up to perform "Happy" from Despicable Me 2, a song nominated for Best Song.

751p.... The Lovely Steph Leann: What kind of hat is THAT? 

754p... I think Meryl shimmied better than Amy Adams, but I'm in love with the latter, so she wins anyway.

755p... This tweet from @RickyBrigante: So how long before there's a Pixar Theory that Pharrell is Andy's dad and gave him the hat?

757p... From the "Everyone predicted this pair" department, its Samuel L Jackson and Naomi Watts! 

Why Ellen didn't introduce him as Laurence Fishburne, I'll never know.  Unless he was too ticked off about it still... maybe she should have just said, "Its the BMF"

The award is Costume Design... I picked American Hustle. The Oscar goes to? The Great Gatsby. I'm 1-1 so far.

8p... Now, Makeup and Hairstyling... I picked Dallas Buyers Club... The Oscar goes to? Dallas Buyers Club. At 2-1, I felt like that was a lock.

802p... That British narrator saying "Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa" somehow gives it 0.02% more legitimacy...

802p... Harrison Ford, Hollywood's real life version of Grumpy Cat, is out to introduce American Hustle, Dallas Buyers Club and The Wolf of Wall Street as the first three of nine Best Picture nominees.

805p... That sound you hear is all the women in the country swooning. Channing Tatum just took the stage.

807p... Judy Greer in an OJ commercial? What? What the what? I freakin' love Judy Greer... one of my favorite actresses... how did she end up in an OJ commercial?

810p... Ellen is getting funnier as this night goes on...

811p.... Kim Novak, for the 30 and up group, is in the "she's still alive?" category... fpr the younger set, its a "Who is Kim Novak and why does she look all freaky weird?" category.

812... Kim is out with Matthew McConaughey to announce Best Animated Short... which didn't go to Get a Horse, the Mickey Mouse short that I naturally picked. It went to Mr Hublot, whatever that is. I'm 2-2 for the night.
814p... I'm mildly amused at the French guy's hands shaking while giving his speech... thats how you know he's legit and actually honored and surprised.

814p... Best Animated Feature Film! It goes to Frozen... Kim Novak tried to make it suspenseful, but I think we all knew this. At 3-2, its time to go on a run!!

816p... Ellen makes more jokes, and brings out Sally Field, who is out to intro a montage of "everyday heroes"

819p... In this montage, I've already seen like, 7 movies in my #Dave100, and another 4 or 5 in my #TheDave500...

820p... JoGo Levitt and Emma Watson! Hermione is an Oscar Presenter! Out to give Best Visual Effects, of which I picked Gravity, of which it wins! 4-2... I picked Gravity to take many of these technical awards

823p... Every girl that was 14 five years ago is now swooning with Zac Efron on stage... he's introducing, and stumbling all over his words, the theme from "Her".  Talk about "That Awkward Moment"...

828p... I just saw The Muppets in one commercial, followed by Tina Fey in another. I'm so blessed to be me.

830p... Ellen sits with a guitar, coming back from break, then introduce Jason Sudeikis and Kate Hudson... that looks like a bit that got cancelled at the last minute

830p... Live Action Short Film. I picked "Helium". And the Oscar goes to "Helium"!!! 5-2... I'm rolling now, baby.

832p... The winner just thanked "My fella nomineeth..."

833p... Best Documentary, short subject... I went with Prison Terminal... and the Oscar goes to... The Lady in #6. Boo. Back to 5-3.

835p... John Stamos sighting!

835p... Ellen back in the audience. Walking around, talking to various celebrities. Ellen offers to order pizza, and all the celebs raise their hand for some. Then she intros Bradley Cooper...

836p... I remember when Bradley Cooper was that guy from Wet Hot American Summer... he's out to introduce Documentary Feature. The Oscar goes to 20 Feet from Stardom, and I picked it just right... 6-3 for the night.

839p... Darlene Love, from 20 Feet from Stardom just threw down on The Sparrow... a gospel tune... Bill Murray was the first up for a Standing O... Boom. 

840p... Kevin Spacey out now for a previous ceremony jibber jabber.

842p... Why aren't we watching an entire Steve Martin tribute? Instead of just this clip show of tributes to him and Angela Lansbury and others...

847p... The Lovely Steph Leann is mad with me that I won't pause the show for her to give little Campbell Isaiah a bath. The Oscars wait for no one!

848p... Viola Davis and Ewan McGregor out for Best Film Ain't From 'Merica... I chose Italy's "The Great Beauty"... the clip looks like a winner to me. 

849p... And the Oscar goes to? "The Great Beauty", like I... uh, I uh... knew it would. Either way, 7-3 so far!

851p... Tyler Perry comes out to introduce another Best Picture nominee, "Nebraska", then "Her" and finally "Gravity".

853p... Shouldn't Tyler Perry come out as Madea and introduce Dallas Buyers Club?

854p... Ellen comes out in her best BeeGees outfit, and introduces Brad Pitt, who introduces U2, singing a song from a Mandela movie...

...sidebar... I might be the only one in the world to say this... but I don't think Mandela was that great of a dude... he favored socialism, he disliked America and he wasn't that nice of a guy. Just sayin'. Back to the Oscars...

858p.... @hlpatterson just tweeted:       

I haven't seen the movie Gravity but I saw Space Camp in 1986, so I get the main idea

HAHAHAHHAHHAHHA

901p... Also... I don't think U2 is as great as they are made out to be..

902p... Ellen back in the audience. She does a selfie with herself and Liza Minnelli, makes a L'pata/Pizza joke, then goes to Meryl to take another selfie, asking for a retweet record on Twitter. She then invites Julia Roberts, Jared Leto, Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, Angelina and others to join in the pic... I'm Retweeting that right now.

904p... Michael B. Jordan and Kristen Bell come out to intro the pre-ceremony Techie awards. They sound like they are actually interested, but we know they aren't.

905p... Ellen brings out Chris Hemsworth and Charlize Theron... Charlize's dress looks like the devil, but she still looks amazing. Here's the Oscar for Sound Editing and Sound Mixing... I picked Gravity on both...

907p... Charlize pronounces "Smaug" as "Smowg". Makes me laugh. Gravity wins one of the two... I'm at 8-3 now.

910p... Gravity wins again, to put me at 9-3. I don't think I've gotten more than 13 right in like, four years... I'm rollin...

911p... Christoph Waltz, two time Oscar winner, to give out Supporting Actress Award. I picked Jennifer Lawrence to win, though Lupita Nyong'o for 12 Years a Slave is the front runner...

914p... And the Oscar goes to... Lupita. First time nominee, first time winner, and she gets a standing ovation from the crowd and hug from Liza Minnelli. 

918p... That was a great Oscar speech, Lupita. Not kidding.

921p... And the pizza arrives! Ellen brings Pizza Boy into the audience, and starts handing out slices... Brad Pitt starts handing out paper plates, and Ellen says, "Kerry Washington is pregnant! She needs some food!"  (we find out later that this pizza guy was real, the shop is real, and he got paid for delivering pizza...)

923p... The President of the Academy comes out to talk about whatever it is they talk about, as I don't really listen. Except they are building a spaceship as a movie museum.

926p... AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS

926p... Amy Adams (whom I'm in love with) is with Bill Murray for Cinematography... I picked Gravity. Bill gives a huge nod to Harold Ramis too...

927p... And the Oscar goes to... Gravity. I'm at 10-4!

929p... Gabourey Sidibe and Anna Kendrick (swoon) are out for Film Editing... I chose American Hustle on this one... and Gravity gets this one too... dang it. 10-5. I think this is where the wheels come off.

932p... Whoopi, Oscar winner for #TheDave500 film "Ghost", is out to discuss "The Wizard of Oz"... so that's why Liza has been so prevalent...

933p... The Lovely Steph Leann: Whoopi... oh, she looks terrible.

934p... P!nk out to sing a salute to The Wizard of Oz... what.

942p... Ellen comes out dressed as Glinda the Good Witch... hahaha... and now she brings out Jennifer Garner and Benedict Cumberbatch

943p... Jenny and Benny are here to present Production Design... I picked American Hustle. And the winner is The Great Gatsby. I fall to 10-6...

946p... Chris Evans is out here to tell us more Hero tales... Harry Potter... The Searchers... Men in Black... Lord of the Rings.. Star Trek... Jaws.... love this.

953p... "Multiple Oscar Nominee" (re: can't win it) Glenn Close comes out, to give us the In Memoriam

957p... In Memoriam was rough this year... Harold Ramis... Philip Seymour Hoffman... Sid Caesar... Paul Walker... Hal Needham... man.

10p... Bette Midler singing "Wind Beneath My Wings". Why didn't they just let her sing this while showing the pics? 

1001p... Are Bette Midler's eyes dilated? Is that why she can't open them?

1004p... Ellen, all in black now, back in bragging about crashing Twitter, in the BEST SELFIE EVER. That was a fantastic segment...

1004p... Goldie Hawn is out now to present the final three Best Pic noms... "Philomena", "12 Years a Slave" and "Captain Phillips".

1005p... I was just about to say "Goldie looks nice", when The Lovely Steph Leann says, "She looks really horrible..."

1008p... Two time Oscar nom John Travolta is out now to present the song "Let It Go", sung by Idina Menzel. Who did John Travolta just say?  Adele Dazim???

1012p... Jamie Foxx and Jessica Biel out now, ready to give out the music awards... apparently the teleprompter is giving a little trouble to the presenters. Jamie being funny by scatting Chariots of Fire. Best Score award, I picked Gravity... the Oscar goes to Gravity... finally, get another win for myself tonight, now at 11-6...

1016p... If Let It Go doesn't win this, it will be a huge upset... not to many times has U2 winning been an upset... The Oscar goes to "Let It Go" from Frozen. As it should. 12-6.

1019p... By the way, Idina Menzel and Three Six Mafia have Best Song Oscars. U2 has zero. Just a note.

1023p... Ellen has Pharrell's hat and is asking for donations for the pizza guy... El Oh El.

1023p... Robert DeNiro and Penelope Cruz come out together to give Oscars for writing... Best Adapted Screenplay... I actually picked Wolf of Wall Street. I'm a dolt.

1024p... And the Oscar goes to... 12 Years a Slave. 12-7. 

1026p... For Original Screenplay... I picked Her. It should win, anyway... the winner is HER!!! Finally, hit 13 wins, 7 losses so far...

1028p... Its the only one HER will win... but I'll take it. Spike Jonze deserves this one for a wonderful, original film. 

1031p... By the way Adele Dazim already has a twitter account. Just saying.

1032p... Angelina Jolie and a true icon, Sidney Poitier out to present. He's the man. And deserved the standing ovation he just got.

1032p... The Oscar for Best Director is here... I went with Alfonso Cuaron, which is the probative favorite. The Oscar goes to... Cuaron for Gravity. 14-7, I am guaranteed to finish over .500, which is nice.

1036p... My wife just informs me that she has met Sidney Poitier and has his autograph. What? 

1038p... Ellen trying to wrap up comically... by the time the show is over, they'll have to do the In Memoriam over to show June Squibb and Bruce Dern.

1041p... Ellen in the audience talking to Matthew McConaughey about weight loss... and then, Daniel Day-Lewis.

1041p... Best Actress nominees... of course, I want Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, to win. However, I think Cate Blanchett will get it, so I picked her. 

1044p... And the Oscar goes to... Cate Blanchett for Blue Jasmine. In her speech she gives mad props to everyone, especially Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with.

1046p... Cate can go from hideous to gorgeous from movie to movie. That's quite a feat.

1048p... Ellen brings out Jennifer Lawrence to give Best Actor... though I picked Chiwetel Ejiofor to win... looks like Dave Wooderson will get the Oscar

1051p... And the Oscar goes to... Matthew McConaughey. Did I just write that?

1055p... Ellen now ends the show with introducing Will Smith, who will presumably give out Best Picture

1056p... And 12 Years a Slave wins the Oscar for Best Picture.

1058p... So, I wrap up at 16-8 for the year. Sigh. Better year, but one away from winning my Oscar pool... my record all time was like, 20-4 or something, but I haven't seen that in a long, long time. Boo.

So there you are... Ellen, I want you back as Oscar host. The Selfie stole the show... great show...



This is the greatest selfie in the history of Selfiedom.  The black dude on
the right side is Lupita's little brother, Junior... and Kevin Spacey's face in
the very back is my absolute favorite of all time. 

(4374 words written for #20KWords for March... 15,626 to go)


movies of 2013... the best part one

Finally... the best movies I was able to see in 2013. Now you'll notice this is a Part 1... because there are actually 20 movies to talk about. Tomorrow, you'll get Part 2, which are all 2013 movies, and I'll list the best of them that I saw from January 1st to December 31st, 2013...

Today, however, is the Top Ten Movies from 2012 and before that I watch in 2013. Y'all feel me flow? Dig? Cool.

10... The Good, the Bad & the Ugly (1966)... As part of our movie series, we were assigned to watch this classic spaghetti western, part of the "Dollars Trilogy" (no, that's not Campbell, Lorelei and Naomi, my three kids, two of which I don't have)... this goes along with "A Fistful of Dollars" and "For a Few Dollars More", which all star Clint Eastwood as The Man with No Name. This particular tale is all the usual Western standards... robbery, gold, betrayal, hangings, horses, ponchos... but its Eastwood, Eli Wallach and Lee Von Cleif that sets this apart... that, and the all too familiar score that you would know in a second.

9... Les Miserables (2012)... When I heard they were doing a movie version (again) of Les Miserables, I didn't think of the Liam Neeson film, I thought of two other films... Chicago, that did the musical adaptation right... and Mamma Mia!, which was a big, fat mess... so all I could do was hope for the best. For the most part, I wasn't disappointed. Hugh Jackman is a fantastic Jean Valjean, and Anna Hathaway defines Fantine (when she finished singing "I Dreamed A Dream", I looked at The Lovely Steph Leann and said, "She just won an Oscar"--and I was right). Amanda Seyfried is just fine as Cosette, though I do not love her singing voice, and I think Sacha Baron Cohen is incredibly miscast as Thenardier... though that might be because I'm loyal and beholden to the Highlights CD that I've been listening to for 20 years...

Russell Crowe? I don't think he was nearly as bad as everyone made it out to be, and I applaud his bravery for even doing the singing part... but he was not a strong point. However, I did love this version overall.

8... This is 40 (2012)... Let's see... Paul Rudd is one of my favorite two or three actors out there. I have a thing for Lesley Mann. Judd Apatow is a solid director. Put them altogether, and we have the perfect movie? No... not perfect. But good. I've seen it twice, and it got much, much better the second time I watch it.

7... West of Memphis (2012)... I'm a big fan of crime drama true story books and documentaries, and this one was unbelievable. The story goes that in the early 90s, three little boys were murdered and mutilated by a creek in the town of West Memphis, Arkansas. The police, in a hurry to find someone to pin this on, found their guys... three teenagers, led by Damien Echols, who had the audacity to listen to metal music, draw pictures that church goers didn't like, and wear lots and lots of black. On the strength of what seems like a forced confession of one of the three, all three teens were arrested, tried in a ridiculous trial and sentenced to life, with Damien getting the death penalty.

Over the years, more and more evidence that showed their innocence came out, as well as proof of shoddy and biased police work, until it was almost obvious that the teens didn't have anything to do with the crimes--and what's more, investigators all but ignored glaring evidence and signs that pointed to one or two other suspects.

All of this was chronicled in the three part documentary series of Paradise Lost Trilogy, which is an amazing viewing in itself--but this one takes all three of those, and puts them together into one 2 hour and 20 minute package. I highly recommend you see this, and make your own conclusions.

6... Room 237 (2012)... For fans of "The Shining" by Stephen King, you will have probably seen "The Shining" film, directed by Stanley Kubrick. King himself in years since says he hated Kubrick's vision of the story (in recent years, King has reiterated this point)... but Kubrick's vision is amazing. And creepy. And terrifying. And so, so odd. Hence, the documentary "Room 237", named for a hotel room in the story that holds strange, unspeakable things. The doc centers on conspiracy theories, everything from Kubrick's nod to the Holocaust by using a German typewriter, to the odd way he's laid out the hotel scenes... in one shot, the main character Jack is talking with the hotel manager in the office, where out of a window you can see trees and sky... in another shot, Danny is riding his tricycle down the hall, passing that same office, and based on his path, the office is obviously in the middle of the hotel with no window. That kind of stuff. Its almost a car-wreck type fascination that draws you to this, you sit and watch and think "These people have way too much time on their hands" and then remember you've been watching for an hour. It's awesome.

5... The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)... What a sweet, cute little movie. Based on the novel by Stephen Chbosky, who also directed, its a coming of age high school tale of a loner named Charlie, a new freshman, who really only connects with his favorite teacher, played by Paul Rudd, who is excellent in this small role. He is somehow befriended by two seniors, Sam (Emma Watson) and her stepbrother Patrick (Ezra Miller), and throughout the school year, their friendship grows, especially as Charlie develops real feelings for Sam--and this is to the chagrin of Mary Elizabeth (a growed up Mae Whitman) who is possessive of Charlie after one accidental kiss.

There is also a small subplot involving Charlie's aunt, played by one of my favorites, Melanie Lynskey, that provides a turn that I didn't see coming at all until just before its revealed, but it provides real heart and even heartbreak to the story. Its a beautiful movie, and well done, especially by Emma Watson, who is continuing to prove that she is, in fact, no longer Hermione Granger.

4... Pitch Perfect (2012)... Another one of my favorites, Anna Kendrick, leads this pack of up and coming Hollywood stars and starlets, as her Beca is trying to fit in to Barden University, all the while chasing her own dream of being a music producer. She tries out for the a capella female group The Barden Bellas, once the darlings of the university, now on the bottom rung due to one of its lead singers vomiting on stage at the previous year's competition.

This film is fun, its light, never preachy, and really, surprisingly, not gay. As in, it doesn't take a gay guy and hit you over the head like some films do, preaching tolerance. Instead, the cast is brilliant, with Rebel Wilson as the hilariously named "Fat Amy", the unknown Hana Mae Lee as a very quietly talking Lilly who can beatbox, and Brittany Snow, as the co-leader of the Bellas. And a cameo by the likes of Donald Faison and Tom Lennon as part of a "we were cool then, trying to be cool now" group that graduated college years ago, but is still hanging around.

3... 12 Angry Men (1957)... Keep in mind, this list is titled "Best" but its my favorites of the year. If I were truly declaring "Best films Ever", this would probably be in the Top Ten, as this film is nearly perfect, flawless. Henry Fonda plays Juror #8 who is the only one who says "not guilty" in a trial of what looks like a slam-dunk case. A teenager from a slum is accused of stabbing his father, and Juror 8 just simply wants to talk about it. The other 11 jurors range from a guy with baseball tickets burning a hole in his pocket (Juror 7) to a rational stockbroker only interested in facts (Juror 4) to an extreme racist (Juror 10) who is ready to fry the defendant because of his color.

Every character is important, and some you love and some you despise, Juror 10 being one of them, and some you just want to smack, like Juror 3, who refuses to believe this kid might be innocent.

This.Is.Such.A.Good.Movie. It goes beyond "yeah, great movie" to "this is a good, good film". See it.

2... Django Unchained (2012)... Set in the pre-Civil War era, this Tarantino film follows a slave named Django (pronounced "jango", as the "D" is silent) who is purchased by a bounty hunter named Dr. Schultz (Christoph Waltz, who won an Oscar for this role) In exchange for the assistance in finding a couple of fugitives that Django knows of, Schultz agrees to help Django rescue his wife, Broomhilda, who was taken away and sold to another owner.

Its a sweeping, epic-type film that takes you from one scenario to the other as Schultz and Django first work together, and then develop a friendship, as they end up at a ruthless slavemaster's plantation--played to the hilt by Leonardo DiCaprio--who enjoys the sport of "mandingo fighting", that is, pitting one slave against another to the death.

While Leo is deplorable, likewise is his servant, Stephen, also played deliciously by Samuel L. Jackson. You learn to hate them both, and quickly.

This movie is not for the faint of heart, like most of all of Quentin Tarantino's movies are, but as a movie fan, I ate this movie up. Its a hard R, with soooo much violence, almost to the point of comical, and lots and lots of language, including a pervasive use of the N-Word. This isn't one I'll watch over and over, for the reasons I just named, but its still a winner to me.

And my favorite film that I watched in 2013 that wasn't actually a 2013 release?

1... Silver Linings Playbook (2012)... There are certain movies going into them that you know you will like... "American Hustle" was one. "Up in the Air" was another. "Frozen" is a third example. And this one, "Silver Linings Playbook". I am so in love with this movie that it might actually be the best film I saw overall last year, no matter the release date.

Pat (Bradley Cooper) has just been released from psychiatric care following treatment for bipolar disorder. He's now living with his mother and his gambling addicted father (Jacki Weaver and Robert DeNiro, respectively, both in amazing roles) and is trying hard to get his life on track and reconcile with his wife Nikki--who has a restraining order against him due to the violent episode that got him committed to begin with (its explained throughout the film).

Sometime later, while having dinner with his friend Ronnie and Ronnie's family, he meets Ronnie's sister in law Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence, in an Oscar winning performance), a widow who just lost her job.

The connection is there due to shared issues, neurosis and just an odd pair of lives. She convinces him to dance with her at an upcoming dance competition, while she agrees to help Pat get back together with his ex-wife, Nikki.

The movie is just wonderful, in all aspects, and one that I could--and have--watch over and over... I love the characters in this film, I love the appearance of Chris Tucker as Pat's hospital friend, and everything just flows.

So that's that Top Ten... how about the actual movies that I saw in 2013 that came out in 2013?


(20,118 words written in January... #20KWordsInJanuary accomplished)

another dozen movie dash

Back in October, I did a "Dozen Movie Dash", where I gave quick reviews on 12 films that I had seen recently. Its been a while since I gave any sort of real movie review, so I thought I'd bounce back with Another Dozen Movie Dash... ready? Here we go...

"GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE"
This movie is terrible. With Nic Cage starring as Marvel anti-hero Johnny Blaze, who, with a deal from the devil in the first movie (just called "Ghost Rider"), turns into a flame headed, fire cycle riding crazy monster guy who feeds off of the souls of bad people, this movie isn't nearly as good as the first one. And the first one was pretty bad. As a matter of fact, I'm still watching this film, and I can already tell you, this movie is awful.

When these three show up, you know its going to be a little different
than most horror/slasher flicks

"CABIN IN THE WOODS"
A horror slasher film for the modern day "been there/done that" horror film society. Five college students head out to a cabin... located in the woods, conveniently enough... belonging to a relative of one of the teens. From there, they get picked off one by one, which isn't a spoiler because you would expect that from a movie like this.

Its the way it happens, and the why that is intriguing. Bradley Whitford and Richard Jenkins appear almost randomly, it seems, setting up a system of games and death for our heroes that is unexpected... and fun. If you like suspense and scary type of films, but want something different, then check this flick out. There is a needless boobie scene in the middle, and lots of language... plus slasher violence, so get ready for that.


"JEFF, WHO LIVES AT HOME"
Jeff, played by Jason Segel, does in fact, live at home. In his mom's basement. And he's in his mid 30s. He spends his days watching TV--notably, repeated viewings of his favorite film, the Mel Gibson starring and M. Night. Shamallama directed "Signs"... and he also spends an inordinate amount of time looking around the room, the neighborhood and the universe for "signs" to tell him why he is here, and what is fate is. After getting a phone call for someone named Kevin, he takes this onto himself to discover what the universe is telling him. On the other side of the story is his older brother, Pat (Ed Helms), a different kind of loser, but a loser still, is in a failing marriage to wife Linda (Judy Greer) due to his laziness and apathy. Both Pat and Jeff are also dealing with their mom (Susan Sarandon), who is dealing with her own little issues.

Jeff and Pat, in an important meeting about life.

Expecting a comedy, I was quite surprised when I discovered it was more of a drama... a dramedy, if you will. And, I was also quite surprised how much I enjoyed this film... it all rests on the charm of Jason Segel, who I'm a fan of, and his portrayal of good guy, if not deeply flawed, Jeff. I think Ed Helms is usually dependable and funny, and I really love Judy Greer (also in "13 Going on 30" and "Love and Other Drugs") in the way I love Marisa Tomei and Emma Stone, that is, I'll watch whatever they are in. There is a lot of language, but thankfully, no dirty scenes... the cast brings this together and makes it work.


"THATS MY BOY"
Ok, so this is Adam Sandler's 2012 entry into his catalog of crap (see also "Little Nicky". And "Mr. Deeds". And "Jack & Jill". And that "Zohan" movie. Better yet, don't see any of those movies). The story goes that back in the day, a teenage Donny had an improper relationship with his teacher, Ms McGarricle, and ended up fathering a son named Todd. And due to Ms. McGarricle's incarceration, Donny, 13, gains custody of his son. And when Todd gets older and is getting married, having told everyone that his parents are dead, here comes daddy Donny--Adam Sandler.

This film is not good. It has its funny moments every now and again, and the addition of Vanilla Ice as a major character, playing a parody (though its probably close to real life) of himself, is a major plus. Maybe more films should have Vanilla Ice in them.

I would totally watch Ghost Vanilla: Spirit of Ice, probably with more gusto and enthusiasm than what's on now.

Anyway, "That's My Boy" has way too much language, and F-bombs everywhere. The material is very suggestive, the jokes are very raunchy, and really, its just all around bad. Maybe wait a bit, catch the somewhat edited version on Spike TV or USANetwork in 2014.


"PROJECT X"
Don't watch this movie. Its a "found footage film" about a party that gets way out of control... and I got through the first 10 minutes of it and couldn't deal with it. Three teenagers who use the F-Bomb, and much worse, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and it's crap. If I want that language from teenagers, I'll watch "Superbad". At least its entertaining.


"HERE COMES THE BOOM"

If you can get past Kevin James as an MMA fighter, than you might
get a kick out of this film.

DO watch this movie. Seriously. This movie is fantastic. Well, I say that being a Kevin James fan... yes, he's kinda dopey, and yes, his movies won't win any awards ("Zookeeper"? Its awful. But awesome. And I love it), but this is a delightfully fun story.

Kevin James is Scott Voss, a high school teacher who is kinda just getting by... but gets a new fire when he finds out that his friend Marty (Henry Winkler) is going to lose his job when the school district cuts out the music program in the school. So, Scott does what any hard working joe would do when needing to earn $48,000... he turns to MMA fighting.

And yes, things turn out exactly like you'd think. Its a silly premise, but Kevin James' charm makes this movie happen. Its completely family friendly... I'm sure there is a bit of language in it, but I don't remember it at all. No sex, and only boxing style violence. Loved it.

The Lovely Steph Leann sez: It was cute.  I liked "Zookeeper" better, if we're ranking Kevin James movies, but it was cute.


"FLIGHT"
Talk about your downer. This is not one to watch when looking for a comedy or something to lighten the mood. Not. At. All.

For starters, Whip Whitaker (Denzel Washington) is an alcoholic. He's also a pilot, and the movie is a snapshot of his life over a few weeks following the opening of the film... when he pilots a jet airliner stoned and drunk out of his mind. And in a well shot, harrowing opening sequence, he lands the plane in a field, becoming a hero to America... until they find out he was high and stoned. Did this cause the plane crash in the first place? And does it matter if it did?

Denzel does what he does... takes the role, makes it his, makes it believable, and makes it awesome. That being said, this is in no way a family film... or a nice film... or an easy film to watch. Its got language, its got tons of drug use, some boobies right off the bat, and a depressing downward spiral of a man who seems like a good man. A good man doing very bad things.

Verdict? If you can handle it, its definitely worth a watch, just once. I'll probably never see it again.

The Lovely Steph Leann sez:  Wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.  Pretty good, but not something I want to watch again.

SIDEBAR: "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" just ended. Frankly, I wanted all of them to die in a fiery inferno. It never got better, just worse.


"THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER"
Some films you go into knowing you're going to like it... and if you don't, its a bigger disappointment than if you "thought it would be better". This is one of these films that I knew I was going to like. And thankfully, I wasn't disappointed.

You just can't help but like Sam

Charlie (Logan Leman) is your typical high school loner... he's a freshman, and on his first day of 9th grade, he only makes a single connection: his English teacher (the always awesome Paul Rudd). He meets two high school seniors, Sam (Hermione Granger) and her step-brother Patrick (Ezra Miller)... and from there, its a high school movie. Romance, conflict, bullying, forbidden love, betrayal and so on.

Though this has all of the aforementioned high school movie characteristics, its also fun. And its got heart. Charlie and Sam have an instant connection, and you want them to be together, despite the freshman/senior difference, and though you may not agree with Patrick, you still feel for him and what he ends up going through. Mostly, its about friendship. And its also awesome to see Emma Watson in something that doesn't involve magic wands and a shouted "stupify!" spell.

Rated PG-13, it does have a few things that are for teens and up, so I probably wouldn't let Campbell watch it.. but its cute and quirky, and I loved it.

The Lovely Steph Leann sez:  I really liked it. 


"LINCOLN"
This was movie that I should love... but wasn't sure if I would.

Much heralded, highly anticipated, Daniel Day-Lewis personifies the 16th president, Abraham Lincoln. The film covers the final four months of Lincoln's life, as he is desperately trying to get the 13th Amendment ratified... the one that bans slavery and involuntary servitude.

Lincoln did well in theaters.  Typically, Lincoln's outcome in theaters
has not been very good.

The all star cast includes Tommy Lee Jones as Thaddeus Stevens, a fierce abolitionist... Sally Field as Mary Todd Lincoln, Abe's wife who turns out is a bit batty... JoGo Levitt as Robert Lincoln, the eldest son... Jackie Earle Haley as Confederate VP Alexander Stephens... and in a part that could have easily been nominated for Best Supporting Actor, David Strathairn as Sec of State William Seward... and what seemed like a billion bit parts for various congressmen, soldiers and so on.

Also among the cast, James Spader as Republican operative William Bilbo, one who is given a task of rallying support for the 13th Amendment. Spader is very recognizable, but its such a juicy role, a part that I don't think he's had in a long, long time.

Its definitely a talkie.. a lot of talking. A lot of talking. A lot. So, don't go into it sleepy, as you will lose yourself amongst the chatter of slavery and freedom and government and war. Even Danny D-Lewis' immaculate performance as Lincoln becomes secondary to the story after a while. Highly recommended, minimal language, and historical war violence.

The Lovely Steph Leann sez:  I really liked it.  Alot.


"MADEA'S WITNESS PROTECTION"
Oy.

Yeah, somehow I ended up watching this with The Lovely Steph Leann. Amusing at times, but silly. And stupid.

Oy.

The Lovely Steph Leann:  (when asked, she laughed).  Um... it was okay.  I liked "Here Comes the Boom" better. 

Oh look... another picture of Amy Adams.  Go figure.

"THE TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE"
An aging baseball scout (Clint Eastwood) has been told by the Atlanta Braves, who he's been with for forever, that he's just not cutting it in this modern day society of technology and so on. So, Gus is given one last assignment by his boss (the underappreciated John Goodman), but also asks Gus' daughter Mickey (Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with) to join him to keep him straight. They scout a prospect in North Carolina, meet a young rival scout, played by Justin Timberlake, who also becomes interested in Mickey, and also has to fight off Braves executive Phillip Sanderson (Matthew Lillard, who is becoming pretty good at playing the sleaze) who wants Gus' job.

That's the movie. And its pretty good. Slow at times, but the story in engaging, and having a grizzly Eastwood, a really good Timberlake and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, on screen doesn't hurt. PG-13 for language.

The Lovely Steph Leann sez:  I liked this movie. 


"PITCH PERFECT"
Yes, yes, this seems like Glee-Lite. Or Glee: The Non Concert Yet Still Musical Movie. It does seem like that. Don't be fooled... this movie is wonderful. An absolute delight of a film.

Anna Kendrick (r) and Rebel Wilson (l).  Rebel plays "Fat Amy".  Just
the name itself is hilarious. 

I love Anna Kendrick, which was the main reason for watching this film, and it made me happy that it was such a good movie. Kendrick is Beca, a student who is forced to go to college by her father, and ends up taking an internship at the college radio station. She ends up joining The Bellas, an all girl acapella group, who through much strife and drama (all girls, remember?), make it to the regional competition, taking on other groups like The Treblemakers, High Notes and my favorite name, Pitch Slapped.

Its quirky, its fun, co-star Rebel Wilson steals every scene she's in, and in a subtle shot at Glee, one of the categories of songs during a competition includes "Songs that Glee Ruined".

Some language gives it the PG-13 rating. Its one of those rare movies that I liked the more I thought about it, and am looking forward to watching it again.

The Lovely Steph Leann sez:  I LOVED THIS MOVIE... this movie was freakin' awesome. 


"PREMIUM RUSH"
So what happens when a bike messenger in New York City gets a package who's contents are so valuable, someone is trying to kill the messenger to get it? Thus is the question answered in "Premium Rush", this came-and-went-at-theaters little movie that feature JoGo Levitt, That Guy Michael Shannon and a few others that you might recognize, but won't remember their names.

Taking place in the span of 90 minutes, its this adrenaline rush of a film that takes place all over Manhattan, featuring chase scenes with bikes and cop cars and lots of action, even if the plot is a little predictable and unbelievable.

This is much like the Denzel film "Unstoppable"... its enjoyable from start to finish, and I liked the heck out of this movie. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is fun, Michael Shannon is a perfect creep, and the supporting cast is likable enough to keep the film going. Again, the plot is a bit far fetched, especially when you actually learn the contents of the bag, but still... check it out. PG-13 for language.


And finally... here's a few bonus quick reviews:



Why yes, Karl Urban does have this scowl during the entire movie.  And
that's part of its awesomocity.

"DREDD"... Great action flick. A billion times better than that Sly Stallone crap from the 90s. Violent, language, but well shot and lots of fun.

"AMERICAN REUNION"... The fourth in the American Pie series, and perhaps the best since the first one. The entire cast is back, and though its more of the same, its fun watching the characters try and act like adults for once. Rated R for lots of bad things, like the first one.

"WANDERLUST"... I wanted to like this movie alot, with Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston, as a couple who ends up in a strange commune in Georgia. Mildly funny, but it wasn't what I wanted it to be. Eh.

"BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD"... Really? Nominated for Best Picture? If I had stumbled across this quirky little flick on Netflix, I might have thought "well, that was kinda fun". But because its so ballyhooed and beloved by critics, I didn't expect it to be so... well, blah. Personally, I think it was acclaimed for only a few reasons: New Orleans. Post-hurricane. Poverty. Skip it.

"PIRANHA DD"... Run. Run from this movie. If someone holds a gun to your head, then take the bullet and hope for the best. Just sayin'.


So there ya go.  Hope you enjoyed our little dash through recent filmdom.  I tried to warn you what to expect in terms of language and boobage and the like, so please watch with caution.  And yes, I watch a ton of movies.  Don't hate. 

a dozen movie dash

Well, here it is… its Post 900 Eve. As in, Post 899… so I thought I’d give you a quick dash through a bunch of movies I’ve seen . Twelve paragraphs, twelve movies.’

Argo… Simply the best movie I’ve seen so far in a long, long time. This is based on the true story of “The Canadian Caper”, which is when the Iranians took over the US Embassy in 1980, capturing over 50 hostages… 6 people escaped from the Embassy and took refuge at the home of the Canadian ambassador. While the hostages were on tv all the time, and a bargaining chip between the US and Iran, no one knew about the 6 escapees, which meant they were completely expendable. Ben Affleck, which has turned into one heck of a director after “The Town” and now this, plays one of the leads, the CIA agent who works with a few Hollywood bigwigs—John Goodman and surely to be nominated for a Supporting Actor Oscar, Adam Arken—to come up with a fake movie, one called “Argo”, that provides a cover for the 6 to be rescued. The story moves at a fast pace, and is over almost too soon. Its also very tense, and even though you are pretty sure that you know how it ends, you still find yourself a little nervous at the end as they are almost—almost—home free. The cast is fantastic, the dialogue is sharp and not wasted, and both Arken and Goodman provide some great comic relief to a suspenseful story. I loved this movie, and I chalk this and “The Avengers” as to very real candidates to be elected into The Dave100 in the future. Walking out of the theater, I told The Lovely Steph Leann, “I’d watch that movie again, like, right now.” Can’t ask for higher praise than that.

 

Looper… This movie gives me faith that there are, in fact, original ideas in Hollywood. Looper is the story of Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt… or is it Joseph-Gordon Levitt?), who is a “looper”, which means that people are sent back in time from 30 years in the future, and Joe, a looper, assassinates them. He collects his silver, and goes about his shady life, including frequenting a house of ill repute where Piper Pirabo is a dancer. Things go haywire, however, when the Future Joe (Bruce Willis) is sent back for Present Day Joe to kill—and Future Joe escapes. Suddenly, the chase is on and… and then, it becomes more than a cat-and-mouse chase movie. It becomes an original story of the future meeting the present, and it takes time travel in a gritty direction. Time travel isn’t looked on as this miracle feat, its illegal and an underground event used for bad things by very powerful people. And then, the wonderful Emily Blunt comes along, and then the movie goes in another completely different direction and… and its awesome. Everyone I know who has seen this movie tells me they didn’t think it would go the direction it did, but they are glad it went there, and I’m in the same boat. JoGoLevitt had prosthetics on his face to better resemble a younger Bruce Willis, and he studied Willis movies to pick up the mannerisms and facial expressions--and he succeeds.  Also has Jeff Daniels, who is turning out to be a great actor of our day.  Rated R for language and violence, and a random, probably unnecessary boobage scene with Piper Pirabo that could have been done just as well covering up her lady parts. Just my thought.

 A Thousand Words… The latest Eddie Murphy flick follows this trend of “fantasy type films”--Shrek films, Imagine That (where his toddler daughter makes financial decisions for him), Meet Dave (the little guy living in his head), etc—and its premise finds him as a slick tell-em-what-they-wanna-hear book agent who attempts to sign a mediation spiritual celebrity and winds up with a tree in his backyard. A tree that drops a leaf every time Jack says a word. At the end of the leaves, it’s the end of Jack’s live, which forces him to re-evaluate everything. The movie takes away one of Eddie’s biggest assets, which is his hilarious voice and line delivery, and doesn’t quite make up for it in his silent action. The first half of the movie is a comedy that its actually kind of amusing, but somewhere around the midway point, it takes a semi-serious tone as the movie’s message starts to come through and Jack begins to figure out what has been going wrong in his life. While its not the greatest Eddie movie ever (I’d give that to Trading Places, easily), its sorta funny and will do when you’re in a mood for something silly and at least attempting to be thought provoking. PG-13 for language.


The Five Year Engagement… Tom (Jason Segel) and Violet (the wonderful Emily Blunt) meet at a party, date and suddenly get engaged. And thus the movie kicks in, as we chronicle their relationship through struggles, jobs, watching other people around them get engaged and married, kids, family issues and more. Whether you like this film or not will depend on whether you like Jason Segel and Emily Blunt, because this movie rests entirely on their shoulders… and I think it is because of their chemistry that this movie works on a lot of levels. Like a real couple, they face the hardships of consequences that come because of decisions they make, especially when it comes to their careers. And there is, of course, temptation in the form of a college professor that has taken a shine to Violet in her graduate program. I laughed out loud several, several times and found the story to be engaging, entertaining and though a little “over the line” a couple of times, nothing like the gratuitous humor you’d seen in “The Hangover” and the like. We watched the “unrated” version of this, and its full of language and though there aren’t any nudie shots, there are a few sex scenes. Unrated for language.


The Vow… Okay. I’ll admit it. I kinda liked this movie. When married couple Paige (Rachel McAdams, who makes everything better) and Leo (the surprisingly charming Channing Tatum) get into an accident, she comes out with some sort of selective amnesia. And because of the amnesia, she doesn’t remember the fact she’s married to Leo, which means he now has to start all over with her. Throw in the fact that her family has never met him—and they already don’t like him—and therefore think they should be her caretakers, plus an ex-boyfriend who is actually the person she remembers dating and all the other travails of life, and all you can do is feel horrible for Leo. He’s a loving husband trying to win back his wife, who doesn’t know anything about loving him. It can be a little brutal, but it’s a good date movie. Rated PG-13 for language and some suggestive hanky-panky.

Harold & Kumar’s Very 3D Christmas… Don’t. Just… well, just don’t.


John Carter… Having heard about this movie, mostly from critics, I had a very low set for this film. The few people I knew that had seen it told me they thought it was okay, or pretty good or something like that. For the most part, critics hated this flick, and the box office returns were pretty terrible (Disney ended up doing something like an 84 million dollar write off, and expected to lose about 200 million in total from this movie). Having said that, it wasn’t a bad movie. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible. A sci-fi epic set in the late 1800s, John Carter is a Civil War vet that is transported to Mars and dropped right in the middle of a planet-wide war amongst the several different races where he goes from outcast and strange being to hero and warrior (of course). This took a while to get into, and while it never kept my full attention (I kept doing other stuff), it was entertaining, I guess. It’s a little overly long, and has more special effects and CGI than it probably should have, but there it is. Its not as bad as critics made it out to be, but not a great film. Just eh. PG-13 for science fiction violence and some language.


Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter… So, you know when you are in high school, and like, there is the popular kids group that hang out together at lunch and at recess and such, and like, there is always this one kid who wants to be popular but just can’t quite pull it off, and he goes out and buys the right clothes and listens to the right music and tries to say and do the right things, but all the popular kids can see right through it and know that deep down inside, he’s still just that dorky kid, and they even make fun of the kid when his back is turned? You know, that kid? Well, that’s Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. This film wants to be The Dark Knight Rises and The Avengers and The Amazing Spiderman so, so badly—but its just the dorky kid who wants to be popular. What does that mean? This movie is kinda goofy, not in a good way, not in an intentional way, but in a way that it tries so hard to be the cool movie, but in its efforts, just comes across as something that isn’t very good, or very interesting.

What To Expect When You're Expecting... A huge ensemble cast, including Liz Banks and Chris Rock and Cameron Diaz and the choir guy from "Glee" and Jamie Foxx and I love Anna Kendrick and Dennis Quaid and J-Lo and Brooklyn Decker and its all about the highs and lows of pregnancy and it tells intersecting stories (of which Banks and Ben Falcone's are the best) of families and single parenting and unexpected babies and families and so on... and... wel... I hate to admit it... but... well I... uh... I mean... I... okay, fine... I LIKED THIS MOVIE.  I'm so ashamed.  PG-13 for language and adult situations.


Battleship... For all the talk about what a bomb this movie was, I gotta tell ya, its not that bad.  Well, like "John Carter", its not that great either, but I will say the re-watchability factor on this movie is much higher than "John Carter".  Seriously, its an alien invasion movie that is confronted by the warships from non other than our own US Navy.  Liam Neeson, though billed as a major character, is actually somewhat minor, while Taylor Kitch is forced to carry the film.  And Brooklyn Decker thrown in there for scenery, with some big dude with no legs.  Go figure.  Anyway, to watch this movie, you need to slog through the first 30 minutes or so... its terrible.  Bad acting, bad story, silly exposition.  In fact, the movie really doesn't take off until the aliens start coming down.  I can't tell you the payoff is grand, but its still sorta entertaining, if only because alien explosions in the ocean are cool.  And this is despite the face Rihanna is in it.  PG-13 for alien violence.


Prometheus... Um... well, its pretty good, I guess.  Ridley Scott returns to his Alien roots and does this film, a prequel of sorts to the Alien franchise, which by the way, if you've never seen Alien (my 111th favorite film of all time) or the sequel, Aliens (#60 on The Dave100), do yourself a favor and watch them both--the former is a horror film in space, the latter is a big sci-fi epic with a little bit of scary to it... anyway, back to Prometheus.  it is a little long, it drags somewhere in the middle, Michael Fassbender as the android David is pretty fascinating, and the special effects are good... Noomi Rapace is the lead, as Elisabeth Shaw, with Charlize Theron playing what would be the villain character, but she's not really evil, she's just self-absorbed.  Anyway, watch it to say you did, but don't build your expectations too high.  PG-13 for alien violence and language.


Jack & Jill... This is Adam Sandler's 2011 release.  This is the one where he plays not only his character, Jack, but also his twin sister, Jill.  This movie is a complete disaster.  I laughed once, but that was because an old lady got hit in the face with a soccer ball, and it was funny.  Beyond that... yeesh.

And Finally... a bonus...


The Sitter... Wow, this movie was crap.  Jonah Hill plays Noah, a slacker dude who lives with his mom and is just trying to score with his girlfriend, who really isn't a girlfriend at all, and just uses him for whatever she needs.  He is roped into a babysitting job where he is taking care of a little girl who looks straight out of Toddlers & Tiaras, a neurotic boy who is manic depressive, and an adopted kid who likes to set lots of fires.  Full of language and crude jokes and bad acting, this movie is a mess.  Richard Roeper called it the worst of movie 2011, and though I'm not sure I completely agree, I will say its pretty bad.  Full disclosure, when the kid peed on the dance floor and the old lady slipped in it, that was kinda funny. Rated R for being a crappy film. 

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