Wednesday, January 14, 2015

the 2014 golden globe recap

I love major award shows, especially when it comes to movies... okay, well, I don't watch the Directors Guild or the Producers Guild or the People's Choice or the Independent Spirit or the Palme D'or or the BET Awards or the Soul Glo Awards or the Latin Grammy show or whatever else... but I DO watch The Golden Globes and The Academy Awards.

In years past, I would live blog, tossing up thoughts, jokes, tweets and so on every few minutes.  But since we've had Campbell Isaiah, "live blogging" has a been a little more difficult.  It's not that The Lovely Steph Leann is opposed to it--in fact, she rather enjoys reading it the next day, and even while I'm blogging, she's made many a joke that has ended up in the published post.

No, Campbell has bathtime in the middle of the evening, and then he goes down for bedtime.  While The Lovely Steph Leann does the bath and bedtime, I will prep the room for his bedtime, get his PJ's laid out, then get some of my things gathered for the next day and so on.  However, I'm usually finished before he is asleep, so when we watch a live program like the Golden Globes, she asks me to pause it, so we can pick back up where we left off when she comes back downstairs.

And in the age of social media, to keep pace, it's harder to push pause--because the winners are revealed, the moments are tweeted and posted on Facebook, the pictures are on Instagram and so on... it's easy to say "Oh, then just don't look at social media until its over!" but that's hard to do when you yourself are live tweeting.

So, no live blog this year, but instead, a few highlights of the show...

  • Best joke of the night went Tina Fey & Amy Poehler, after they rattle off a list of accomplishments from Amal, George Clooney's new bride, and then say, "And tonight, we give her husband a lifetime achievement award."
  • Tina & Amy then went on to burn Bill Cosby while discussing the movie "Into the Woods", saying that, ''Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince, and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby.''
  • Both then do an odd Bill Cosby impersonation all about "putting the pills in the people."  The audience, in an awkward, but laughing, state, gasped then laughed more.  Personally, I thought the Sleeping Beauty line was gold, but putting pills/people schtick just wasn't that funny.  Not because of the subject, just because it wasn't that funny.
  • I do love me some Tina Fey, though.  Man she's gorgeous.
  • Jennifer Aniston was nominated as Best Actress in a movie called "Cake".  What the heck is "Cake"?  I don't know anyone who has actually heard of this film.
  • Margaret Cho came out dressed as a North Korean high ranking soldier, taking a picture with Meryl Streep, only to be photobombed by Benedict Cumberbatch.
  • Gina Rodriguez won for the CW show "Jane the Virgin".  Who?  What show?  Huh? 
  • Jeffrey Tambor, veteran actor, won an award for a transgender character on the Amazon show transparency. 
  • Ruth Wilson won an award for the Showtime show "The Affair".
  • Essentially, alternative lifestyles and open marriages are the new hotness.  Straight people and committed relationships? Not so much.
  • Prince showed up.  Like the singer.  I can't say that I've ever heard him talk, and yet, there he was, simply saying, "Here are the nominees for Best Original Song"
  • Allison Janney, in the audience, was one of several who went a little batnuts crazy.
  • Oh, and Prince had a cane.  He didn't use it, he didn't walk with it, he just brought it with him. #BecauseHeIsPrince
  • Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader, two normally very funny people, came out and did a bit where they recited lines from classic films, only the actually just made up the lines.  Many people felt this was the funniest non-Tina & Amy moment of the night.  Again... I just didn't think it was that funny.
  • George Clooney got the Cecil B DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award tonight.  It's so weird, because Jodie Foster got it a few years back at a then-age 50, while Clooney is 53. It's only weird because again, I grew up watching Clooney as he started his career on Facts of Life and "Return of the Killer Tomatoes".  Interestingly enough, those are two pieces of work that were not shown on his highlight reel.
  • This award is supposed to go to old people like Kirk Douglas and Cecily Tyson and Burt Lancaster (Kirk won it in '68, by the way), not to young folks like Clooney or Robin Williams (recepient in 2005) or Michael Douglas (got it in 2004) or Spielberg (2009). Sigh. I'm old.
  • Michael Keaton had a great speech, winning the award for "Birdman"... but I also liked Billy Bob Thornton's speech, simply saying that you can get in trouble for saying just about anything so "I'll just say 'thank you'".
  • Have you seen "Birdman"?  The movies is great, but the movie as a whole is outshone by a combo of brilliant performances from Keaton, Emma Stone, Zack Galafinikas, Naomi Watts and definitely Edward Norton.
  • When Amy Adams (whom I'm in love with) won an unexpected award for "Big Eyes", I tweeted the following:  AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS.  My Timehop app posted a tweet this morning from last year, apparently when she won an award for "American Hustle".  I tweeted the following last year when she won:  AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS AMY ADAMS.  Good to know my feelings are the same.
  • Everyone freaked out with Prince and John Legend both being out.  No one is talking about the fact that rapper Common... COMMON... has a Golden Globe.  It's like when Three 6 Mafia won the Oscar over U2 with "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp". 
  • Colin Firth came onstage.  Be still The Lovely Steph Leann's beating heart.  I think if he, Robert Downey Jr and Hugh Jackman ever starred in a movie together, she'd camp out for tickets--and she doesn't camp for anything.
  • There is a transparent NBC logo in the left bottom corner.  Everyone, mostly chicks, that wear sleeveless dresses or tops end up looking like they have a faded peacock tattoo on their arm.
  • Did NOT see that award for Best Animated Film coming.  "How to Train your Dragon 2" not only beat out Disney's latest, "Big Hero 6", but the heavily favored "The LEGO Movie".  I haven't seen Dragon 2, but I can already tell you it likely won't equal Baymax and Hiro's adventures, and will not be better than LEGO. 

And finally... here are my favorite tweets from the night...

"It makes me sad that a cummerbund company hasn't sponsored Benedict Cumberbatch's tuxedo for award shows yet. #GoldenGlobes" -- @jonacuff

"You can easily recreate Kerry Washington's dress with a little duct tape and a whole bunch of Capri Sun pouches. #DIY #GoldenGlobes" -- @JennaKimJones, as Kerry Washington literally shimmers onstage

"The clothes that 80s movies predicted we'd be wearing 2015... only Prince was listening. #GoldenGlobes" -- @RemodelingClay, on Prince's big appearance

"Prince you are making doves cry with that outfit. #GoldenGlobes" -- @LauraLeighC, on Prince's crazy outfit

"In the Globes control booth: 'Thank you Gambit. Iron Man, you're on!' #GoldenGlobes" -- @RottenTomatoes, as Channing Tatum introduced Robert Downey Jr

"Everytime Meryl Streep loses an award, her horcruxes grow stronger." -- @YrBFF, after she lost again.

"The Golden Globes should be, 'We all get paid because of superhero movies. Good night. Drive safely, everyone.'" -- @pourmecoffee

"The #GoldenGlobes folks use the word 'courage' a lot.  Glad I saw the #60Mins piece on Iraq/Afghan war amputees first." -- @IngrahamAngle

"If Oprah cries when you speak you automatically go to Heaven." -- @samir

"All these men get to throw on a tux over their winter fat.  These poor women haven't eaten in 35 days.  Life is unfair. #GoldenGlobes" -- @JenHatmaker

"So everything is NOT awesome?" -- @daltonross, when "The LEGO Movie" lost Animated Feature.

"Do you think if I use the Loreal shade that is 100% Puerto Rican that I can look like J.Lo? #GoldenGlobes" -- @jamiesrabbits

"I just got to second base with J-Lo's dress. #GoldenGlobes" -- @jenhatmaker

"Apparently it's 'Bring your tatas to work" night at the #goldenglobes. #AllTheGlobes" -- @IAmAmyLatta

 And my absolute favorite of the night...

@dawn_o_mite tweeted: "I often think Jessica Chastain has the career that Bryce Dallas Howard was expected to have 10 years ago."   That made me laugh long and heartily.

Ladies & gents, there are your 2015 Golden Globes. 

Friday, January 02, 2015

a message to the haters

"...No love for the haters, haters, mad cause I got floor seats at the Lakers, they see me on the 50 yard line with the Raiders..." -- Will Smith, "Gettin Jiggy Wit It"

The word "hater" is a funny thing. I guess the word has been around for a while, but only in the last few years as the concept of "hater" been around.  It's not necessarily someone who doesn't like what you are doing or where you are going, it's someone who doesn't like that if you are doing something great or headed in a great direction... thus, they are "hating on you", or are "haters".

I have a few.  You have a few.  You may have many, I don't know, but here in 2015, I wanted to speak directly to mine.

Dear Haters,

I don't care.  Not about you, anyway.

I used to.  I used to try and please everyone, and to some extent, I'll probably always do a little of that... but please you, the Hater, is something I don't have time for.

See, in 2015, I plan on being great.  Sure, it's a cocky thing to say, but so what.  No one plans on being mediocre... well, no one but you.  Perhaps you are a Hater because you don't like my personality.  Perhaps you are a Hater because you don't like my choice in career.  Perhaps you are a Hater because I talk too much, am too outspoken, you don't like my writing style, you don't like my podcasting voice, you think Disney sucks, you think anyone who likes Taylor Swift and admits it is a dork, you think that I'm responsible for my outspoken friends if they offend you...

See, Hater... that's just not my problem. 

The things I do... the things I say... I strive for those things to be purposeful... to invest... to be kind and encouraging.  No, I don't always succeed... in fact, I fail much more than I want to admit.  But sometimes, many times, I do get it done, I do succeed, I do accomplish... sometimes I fly.

And you, Hater, are the one who wants to tug on those wings to keep me from flying.  To tell me I'm not good enough, or that I don't deserve success, or maybe that I'm just a jerkface.

And that's okay.

I'm not trying to please you.  Not anymore.  Hate on me all you want.  And I'm guessing the more good things I do, the more people will join you.  Because I know you, Hater, I know that you hate because you can't get some things done yourself.  But see, that's not really my problem.  I'm too busy being awesome to worry about your shortcomings.  Too busy succeeding to worry about hating on you.

Don't get me wrong... I'm not perfect.  I have lots to work on, I have lots of things that need improvement, and there are a great number of things that I'm just not good at.  Heck, there are things that I know you would dominate me on every day, all day.  But it's those very things that I'm not good at that push me harder to improve on those shortcomings, and to get even better at what I am good at. 

So, in short, Hater, sit back. If you hated in 2014, I'm going to give you so much more to work with in 2015.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to continue gettin' jiggy with it.

Much love to the Haters,


PS... this entire letter almost said, "Dear Haters... I dont care... Love d$", but I thought that you deserved a little more.