movie monday football

Fun fact... I actually wrote this article in 2013... I've been looking over my 30+ drafts that I've written off and on, some totally complete, one or two being completed parts of a series that is unfinished, and some half done. I even have a pointed piece about the kid who caught flack for smirk smiling at a fake protester on the steps of the Capitol -- I'll probably hold onto that one. 

But either way, here is a post about my favorite football movies... I added a few lines and did some grammar correction, but otherwise, here ya go... 

For our inaugural Movie Monday.... since football season is winding down, at least college wise, I thought I'd celebrate America's true pastime with my favorite five football centric films...

5... "The Replacements" (2000)
When pro football teams all go on strike, replacement players are used, including on the Washington Sentinals, where their star QB takes a slide instead of scoring a game winning TD so he wouldn't be hurt.  Enter Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves), who, together with his grizzled coach, Gene Hackman, and a wacky cast of teammates played by Faizon Love, Orlando Jones, Jon Favreau and Rhys Ifans, have to win three of the final four games of the season to make the playoffs.

Sure, its silly.  And goofy.  And its so much fun.  And the incredibly cute Brooke Langton is Annabelle, Shane's love interest... this movie is also known for its great line, "Pain heals. Chicks dig scars.  Glory?  Lasts forever."

What happened to Brooke Langton?  She's 50, she's still working, and still beautiful. 

4... "Remember the Titans" (2000)
Herman Boone (Denzel Washington) is hired on to coach a racially divided Williams High School, taking the reins from Coach Yoast (Will Patton), who stays on as an assistant.  Set in 1971, the school is awash in racial prejudice, as Coach Boone is told that if he loses a single game, he's fired.  

The movie, sometimes being a little sappy and predictable, is solid, fun and weaves a great story.  The cast is also stellar, with Ryan Hurst and Wood Harris as the main white and black dudes on the team who (naturally) find a way to come together, with supporting roles by Kip Pardue as the surfer QB, Ethan Suplee as the token fat guy, Donald Faison as a RB named Petey and a young Hayden Panettiere as Coast Yoast's daughter.  Oh yeah, Ryan Gosling is in this too. 

Fun fact... of course, as most films based on a true story will go, this one plays a little fast and loose with the truth -- turns out, by many accounts Coach Boone was quite the jackwagon in real life -- and lot of the racial tension drummed up in the movie was really just drummed up for the movie. Alas, Hollywood.   

3... "The Waterboy" (1998)
What a stupid film.  It just is.  And I love it.  Do I really need to tell you the plot?  Adam Sandler is Bobby Boucher, a Cajun in Louisiana who is recruit by Mr Coach Klien (Henry Winkler in this don't-take-myself-so-serious phase) to play football for the terrible South Central Louisiana State University Mud Dogs, after being rejected by the U of Louisiana Cougars... and of course, it all climaxes in... The Bourbon Bowl.  Of course it does.

You know the lines... "been playing the foosball behind mama's back!?" and "water sucks! it really really sucks!" and "I saw Vicky Vallencourt's boobies and I liked them too!"... love this movie.
 

2... "Necessary Roughness" (2001)
If you are sensing a trend here, of me liking bad football comedies, you are right.  And this one is the best of the comedic bunch.  Scott Bakula!  Sinbad!  Robert Loggia!  Larry Miller!  Harley Jane Kozak! 

Yeah, you probably know those names, and you definitely know the faces...  The football season approaches for the Texas State Fightin' Armadillos, but with most of the previous players suspended and coaching staff fired due to NCAA sanctions (the accusations here are very similar to the real life charges against Southern Methodist University, which was handed the "death penalty" in 1987--more on this later).

Enter Coach Ed Gennero (Hector Elizondo) and his assistant coach Wally (Robert Loggia), who are forced to not only deal with the NCAA restrictions, but also the ones placed on the team by the mean Dean Elias (a wonderfully smarmy Larry Miller)... Dean Miller has left Coach with only 17 players allowed on the team, forcing them most players to play offense and defense, hence, "ironman" football.
The quarterback?  A 34 year old former high school star named Paul Blake (Bakula) who never attended college and has eligibility, who also convinces a TA named Andre (Sinbad), who also has a year left, to play.

And the movie takes off from there, with supporting roles from Jason Batemen, and Kathy Ireland as a the soccer star turned female placekicker (Kathy, I've always loved you from when I was a teenager... but acting is not your forte)... Harley Jane Kozak as a professor, who becomes Paul's love interest and continues to spurn the advances of Dean Miller,  thereby fueling the Dean's hatred of the team.... Rob Schneider, before he got too ridiculous in movies, as announcer Chuck Neiderman and finally, the university president, played by former US presidential candidate Fred D. Thompson.

I love this movie and watch it every time its on, no matter where I catch the film.  Its funny, predictable and a little (a lot) ridiculous, but its so much fun.

Trivia... Texas State wasn't a real university until 2003, when the real life Southwest Texas State University shortened its name to Texas State, with the mascot the Bobcats.  In the movie, the first opponent that the fictional Texas State Fightin' Armadillos plays is the Southwest Texas State U Bobcats.  Irony.


1... "The Blind Side" (2009)
There are some who would say this film is sappy.  There are some who would say this film is made to directly pull on your heart strings.  There are some who would say that it took a little section of a mighty fine book and made an entire movie about that one section.  And they would all be right.

That doesnt change the fact that I am in love with this movie.  I love everything about this film, from the cast--Sandra Bullock in her Oscar winning role... newcomer Quinton Aaron as the lead character of Michael Oher... Tim McGraw as Sean Tuohy... Kathy Bates as tutor Miss Sue... young Jae Head as the youngest son SJ, who has some of the best lines... and of course, the good-lookin' Lily Collins as, conveniently enough, Collins Tuohy, the daughter of Leighe Ann and Sean.

You perhaps know the story, as the Tuohy's, a well to do family in Memphis, TN, ends up not only befriending but becoming the caretakers of Michael Oher, who has been shuffled around from foster home to foster home, running away each time to return to his drug addicted mother. 

The movie then chronicles Michael's story, as everyone discovers how he's been lost in the education system and how he's helped, loved and redeemed by the power of one family loving on a stranger who becomes their friend... then son.  In addition to circumstance, the other foes in the movie are an NCAA investigator who come around, questioning the Tuohy's care for Michael when he chooses what school he'll go to, and gangsta's from the Michael's old neighborhood.

How much do I love this film?  Its currently my 53rd favorite film of all time, has a total re-watchability factor (like "Necessary Roughness", I can pick this movie up anywhere and watch it to completion) and is based on a book that is also extremely awesome.


Honorable Mentions:
"Rudy" (1993) - Like it.  Don't love it, not nearly as much as everyone around me does.

"Jerry Maguire" (1996) - Considered putting this on the list, and it would have ranked #1 if I had--its my 35th favorite film of all time--but to me, this is not necessarily a football movie, not like the ones listed above.  Football plays a part, but its a football agent story.

"The Longest Yard" (1974) - The original with Burt Reynolds, not that travesty made a few years ago with Adam Sandler.

"Varsity Blues" (1999) - I only list this here because I've rewatched it recently.  It holds up, if only for the great cast--Scott Caan, Ali Larter (besides the whipped cream, I mean), Amy Smart (underrated as an actress) and of course, the late, great Paul Walker.

"The Last Boy Scout" (1991) - Like Jerry Maguire, football plays a part of the story, but is not the story.  But I do love me some Last Boy Scout, so I had to mention it.

"Quarterback Princess" (1983) - A made for TV movie with a very young Helen Hunt, a female who quarterbacks a high school team.  This used to come on cable all the time when I was a kid, and I watched it at least a dozen times.

Worth noting...

There are a couple of football documentaries that must be mentioned, including "Pony Exce$$" (2011), a film that takes on the SMU scandal as I mentioned above... "Small Potatoes: Who Killed the USFL" (2009), following the rise and fall of the 1980s USFL, including an interview with who the movie suggests might be the culprit--Donald Trump... and "Undefeated" (2011), the story of the 2009 high school team seeking its first playoff win ever...

(ps... I've never seen "Brian's Song")

38 memories of wookiee

My best mate Wookiee (aka, Christopher J. Fulaytar) has a birthday today.  I have a card for him, but like a bad friend, I keep losing his address. 

Its worth noting that two of my other good buddies--Mikey and Shawn--also have birthdays today and tomorrow, respectively, but I'll see them on Wednesday, give them the cards I bought them, and probably will leave them notes on Facebook with my birthday sentiments.

But I thought this time for Wookiee, I would give you, the reader, some insight into why I love this big lug.  Actually, many of you won't get many of the references listed here, though each has a story behind it. 

So, in no particular order, here are 38 memories I have of Wookiee, my best mate Wookiee, one for each year of his hairy life.

1) Fruit Wheels Twin Packs.  His cereal of choice.

2) Eating at Denny's once per month.  Its like... our man date or something. 

3) I was trying to use up a roll of film (remember the days before they were digital) and I walked into Wookiee's room and said, "Okay!  Show me mad!"  And he did.  "Okay!  Show me happy!"  And he did"  I took a pic with each emotion... flirty... serious... fun... and when I said, "Sexy", this pic is what he gave me.  Check out those pants.

4) The fact that, as big as he is, I found him one night curled up in the corner of that same bed you see here, playing video games.  His reason?  He saw a mouse.  I left.  I came back around 3am, four hours later.  He was in the same position, telling me, "Dude, I ain't getting up til I know that mouse is dead, or daylight hits." 

5)  For some reason, Wookiee and I liked to perform the 50s classic song "Little Darlin'".  Well, he would lip-sync and I would play the spoons.  And I would not just play the spoons, I would also drum them on anything within reach, which usually meant Wookiee's head was fair game.  One night, our buddy Barrow was spending the night on our floor, and our antics had him laughing so hard he could barely breathe.  He literally opened the front door and hung halfway down the steps to get some fresh air.  It was classic.

6)  His mom and dad are are awesome... they are really, really good people.

7)  His wife Gina is also a great person, helping him produce his spawn, Austin.... and his other spawn, Abby Grace.  Good job, Wookiee.

8) He's been a part of at least half of my moves from one place to another.  Somehow, we finagled him into moving our big Sony Trinitron from The Apartment to The Deuce... and he helped me move from our first apartment to The Cabana.  And when I say helped, many times I mean he's moving heavy stuff and I'm supervising.  That's the way it should be.

9) He used to drive a Trans-Am T-Top.  He is 6'9, so its understandable that you couldn't sit behind him in the backseat.  He had the seat pushed all the way back.  I'm pretty sure his head stuck out of the top of the T-Top itself.

10)  Wrestlemania.  He, Big Tom and myself attended last year's Wrestlemania in Atlanta, an experience I'll never forget, and one of the top four coolest things of all of 2011. 

11)  He took me to see Troy play Central Michigan in the GMAC Bowl in Mobile.  It was my first overtime bowl game (Troy lost in 2 OTs), it was crack ninja cold out there, and our seats were eh.  But Gina, the wife, had given him two tickets to the game, and he called me up to go. 

12)  He booked us a room at the La Quinta.  Not the Marriott next door, or the Hampton Inn on the other side, but the La Quinta Inn.  It was, however, within walking distance of... you guessed it, a Denny's.

13)  We dated the same girl at the same time, he as a freshman in college, me as a senior in high school.  It was absolute hilarity when we discovered this fact some years later.  I'm serious--we laughed for an hour.

14)  Our Halloween party at the Thomas Circle apartment.  He went as "Fulaytar Vader"

15)  In our Three Notch Street rented house, we shared a huge bedroom, complete with a wall gas heater.  When The Wench, his chick at the time, broke up with him, he skipped all of his classes for like, two weeks, sleeping in the room alot.  As a result, our gas bill was over $175.  As a broke college student having to pay for half of this, I had no idea what to do, until he told me he was going to pay all of it because he felt like he was responsible for it being so high.  This is the kind of guy Wook-Fu is.  (she cheated on him, but they got back together soon after)

16)  A year or so later, at our next apartment in Thomas Circle, I get a tap on my window at like, 6 in the morning on a Saturday.  I open the window and see... its The Wench.  "Can I talk to Chris?"  I rolled out of bed, opened the door, and let her in, then went back to bed.  About two hours later, Wookiee opens my bedroom door and says, "I just broke up with The Wench."  Awake now, I said, "Dude, what happened?  Are you okay?"  He nodded and said, "She cheated on me again.  I just said, 'Get out, The Wench'.  I'm cool.  Want to go get some breakfast?"  And we did.  He might have even bought.  And he was fine. 

17)  A teacher, he got a job after graduation in the humming metropolis of Hazelhurst, Georgia.  On the morning he was moving, he had all his crap in a U-Haul, ready to go.  We had breakfast at Julia's in a hotel nearby, and then he said a somewhat tearful goodbye.  It was sad to see him go.  But I'll always remember the sadness of seeing my best friend leave for however long it would be. 

18)  Troy State versus Missouri.  His bachelor party, as a bunch of us bought this ticket to see the 17th ranked Tigers come to Troy, anchored by Heisman hopeful Brad Smith.  Then in an unbelievable night, we watched Troy handily beat Missouri, knock them out of the rankings, kill Smith's Heisman chances and then become the 24th ranked team in the country the next week.  What a night.

19)  Exploring the USS Alabama with Wookiee.  Both of us have connections to the military, so it was great doing something like that with someone who understands it.  If only I hadn't lost all the pictures. Whoops.

20) People don't understand our bromance.  We're very special.  Or some would say. 

21)  The 1996 Olympics.  Yes, The Wench was there, as was the upstairs neighbor, Smokey Steve, but we actually got to see the second incarnation of The Dream Team play--Jordan, Robinson, Barkley and more.  And, of course, we were almost blowed up by the bomb in the park.  That was fun.

22)  The hilarious sight of him, in only his boxer shorts, leaving our apartment and walking up the hill to the parking lot to get the morning paper.  There are somethings you just can't un-see.

23)  One day, I'm reclining in my bed watching TV, and he sticks his head out of the bathroom.  Then we have this exchange...

Wookiee:  Uh, d$... can I ask you a question?
Me:  Sure.  Whaddup?
Wookiee:  When you are in the shower... does the curtain ever... well, does the shower curtain ever attack you?
Me:  Uh... sometimes.
Wookiee:  Okay, just wondering. 

Then he disappears back into the bathroom.  And I cracked up.  And 17 years later, I just laughed out loud thinking about that conversation.

24)  He was the best man in my wedding, and I in his.  Wouldn't have had it any other way.  He was petrified he would lose the ring, and more petrified of the bride's reaction if it happened.

25)  He knows how to break it down.  Like a big, hairy clown.  (and though it looks like pants, I am totally wearing jorts in this picture)

26)  During the Deuce Days, he lived at The Deuce for two summers in a row, and it was awesome watching him immediately integrate amongst all the friends I had here, and become just a part of the group.  He actually had a portable closet he kept in our dining room with all of his close.  And sometimes, because he would get so annoyed with Tommy and Drew playing Tetris until the wee hours of the morning (especially when Wookiee is trying to sleep on the couch), he would hide Tetris.  And THAT was hilarious.

27)  I wrecked my car on the third Saturday in October of 1996.  Fell asleep at the wheel of my old Buick on the way back to Samson, ran off the road and into a telephone pole.  Head snapped forward, face hit the steering wheel, and it caught me in that space between my upper lip and my nose.  Blood spatter on the windshield, and I was lucky I didn't break my nose entirely.  Had stitches from one nostril to the next, and three feet of thin gauze in each nostril.  And I was without a vehicle. And Wookiee, graciously if not begrudgingly, gave up the Alabama/Tennessee game to drive an hour south to Samson, pick me up and take me back. 

28)  Many of my favorite catchphrases somehow lead back to him.  We went rock climbing with Michael Brunson and a few other friends one day, north of Birmingham.  And when the rock climber guy in charge strapped on the harness to Wookiee, it was fastened around his mid-section.  Before the V-shaped harness was pulled tight, the rock climber guy in charge gave caution to Wookiee for any necessary... well, adjustments.  He said, "You may want to make sure and keep 'Sparky' in the 'V'"  And "Sparky in the V" is a phrase that elicits loud laughs even now.

29) So, in the Three Notch House, in our shared bedroom, we both woke up on a Saturday morning around the same time.  Neither of us wanted to get up, so we both went back to sleep.  Around 11, we both woke up again. And then both went back to sleep.  By 1 or so, we had agreed upon a contest... whoever gets up first, loses.  About 515p, I won, when Wookiee had to get up and use the restroom. 

30)  Also in that bedroom, also when we are both laying in our beds, refusing to get up, we are watching TV... it might have been the same day as the sleeping contest, who knows... and the former President Bush is on TV.  The annoucer is saying something political, with a "something something something something George Bush something something."  And randomly, Wookiee pipes up, saying "Yeeesss George Bush".  After I finished rolling in laugher something like 20 minutes later, I wiped my eyes and knew I had something.  And the "Yes" catchphrase caught on big during The Deuce Days.  Its not used as much now, but you'll still hear it from me, or Mikey or one of the guys from time to time.  Yeeeesss Wookiee.

31)  We are riding in the car with a friend of ours, some tiny little vehicle we were stuffed into--me in the backseat because Wookiee couldn't fit... anyway, at the time, Jann Arden had a big hit on her hands with the song "Insensitive", which came on the radio.  I actually really like that song, and was singing along.  Apparently none of us knew the second verse, though, because it was all quiet in the car when Jann Arden sang, "How do you numb the skin... after the warmest touch... how do you slow your blood... after the body rush...", to which Wookiee breaks the silence by saying, "Yeeesss body rush."  I lost it.

32)  Because of our height disparity, people think its fun--and original, to take our pictures back to back.  And this pic is the typical result (taken at the 1995 Farmhouse Fraternity Formal).

33)  We are all sitting around The Deuce one day, plotting on how to get the downstairs neighbors to move out, so we could rent that apartment as well, putting a firemans pole between the two apartments.   I, who worked for a radio station at the time, said, "I'll broadcast subliminal messages that they need to leave!"  Mikey, working at a bank, said, "I'll screw up their finances and force them into bankruptcy!"  Shawn, who worked for the phone company at the time, said, "I'll tap their phones and black mail them!"  Tommy, working in interweb stuff, said, "I can plant viruses in their computers!" 

Not to be outdone, of course, Wookiee, a teacher, yells, "And I'll make their kids stupid!"  I lost it.


34)  The Great Rib Eat-Off.  Tony Roma's, when they were open, offered "endless ribs" for $20 or something like that... Mikey, Big Tom, Wookiee and I went to Tony Roma's to participate in this feast of gluttony.  Well, actually, Big Tom got something else, and I think I went the burger route... but Mikey and Wookiee went at it.  And they ate, and ate, and requested more, and ate and ate and ate.  All in all, they ate 50 ribs.  Each.  Between the two of them, they devoured 100 ribs.  The lead cook came out to meet them and tell them that they went through an entire case of ribs, plus 4.  The other patrons watched in horror wonder. 

This is the actual napkin from that day at Tony Roma's.  I dug it from the upstairs back bedroom, which is
full of random Deuce memorabilia that I've somehow been able to keep... who knows if this will make
it back upstairs.

35)  While typing this, its fitting that my 21st favorite movie of all time, "Major League" is on TV... like myself, Wookiee is a huge sports nut, and a sports movie nut too--he shares my love of "Major League"...

just a bit outside... going somewhere, meat?  about 90 feet... and for the Indians, that's one run on, let's see...one hit? That's all we got?  One goshdarn hit? [Monty: You can't say "goshdarn" on the air!] Don't worry; nobody's listening anyway... up your butt, Jobu... hey bartender, Jobu needs a refill!... personally, I think we got hosed on that call... I can't find it, to heck with it!... this guy threw at his own kid in a father/son game... forget about the curveball, Ricky!  Give him the heater! 

...but he also has a big hankerin' for "Mystery, Alaska", something I will admit I've never seen. That's a bad friend on my part.  Hold on...

...I just added it to my Netflix queue, 7th on the list, in between the remake of "Fright Night" and Disc 3 of Everwood's first season. 

Anyway, Wookiee has an almost obsessive love of the Chicago Cubbies, the Boston Celtics and I believe the Dallas Cowboys.  Being a Orioles/Spurs & Magic/Broncos fan, we always had something talk about--especially when it came to college football. 

Though we love the line, now that we are married, Heywood's line "How's your wife and my kid?" doesn't work as well anymore.  Sad.

36)  You can't help but love a guy who does this to a swimming pool... our buddy Drew called it a "complete phenomena of water displacement." 

37)   At our very first DeuceFest, on June 20th of 2000, we had a karaoke machine... too good to pass up, Wookiee joins the father figure of the group, Mikey's dad Mr. Ken on "stage" to sing a rousing rendition of "My Way".  It was quite a hoot.  And a holler.

38)  I became a Christ Follower in January of 1995. He became a Christ Follower a week later, led by the same guy, Reggie MacAllister. It was thrilling to relate our testimonies to each other, and share in such important spiritual matters as our eternal futures.

And one to grow on...

39)   He's my best friend.  Wookiee truly is.  We've known each other since September of 1993, been friends since April of 1994, and he is my brother in Christ and my best mate. 

Happy Birthday, Wookiee.  Hope I made you proud with this dedicated post, though I'm sure there is something vital that I'm forgetting... Next stop... FORTY!!  Well, 39, but FORTY sounds so much more dramatic. 

viktor and his waiting

I love airplanes.  When I was a wee babe, for a time the answer to "What do you want to be when you grow up" was "an airline pilot"... I wanted to work for Delta or American or, at the time, Eastern Airlines, or TWA, or anything else, and it was because I love the concept of airplanes and flying and such.  Even now, I hope I can sit by the window so I can stare at the ground below, and am usually disappointed if I am in the middle or aisle seat, or on window seat but can't see anything due to cloud cover.

Likewise, I love airports.  I love the hustle and bustle, how thousands of people from all over the country, and even world, come through any given airport at any given time.  Each of those persons has a story... going to see loved ones, or to say goodbye to them... or maybe they already said goodbye.  Going on vacation, perhaps to Disney for the 39th time or the 1st.   Coming back from a business meeting where they struck the big deal... or struck out.  Or maybe headed to that big meeting, hoping that deal gets signed.  Honeymooners or singles getting away.  I love people and their stories.

I love the anticipation of sitting at the gate, and watching our plane pull in, people getting off, and soon, being allowed to get on.  I love touring the little shops in the airports, be it a newsstand with overpriced magazines or a luggage shop or a random market.  I love standing on the moving sidewalks.  I love just walking around.  I've been known from time to time to actually go to the airport, with no flight or ticket, and just walk around. 

I really didn't mean to spend three full paragraphs discussing my love of air travel, but there it is.  So, now I'm going to tell you about a movie I love, then I'm going to tell you what spiritual lesson can be derived from it... let's go, shall we?

Anyway, going along with the theme of air travel is the fact that I also love MOVIES with an airport and airplane theme.  In my top 100 films of all time, THREE with the air travel theme land in the Top 20... there's DieHard 2: DieHarder as my 12th favorite film of all time... there's "Up in the Air" from 2009 landing as my 14th favorite film... and a few spots later, my 17th favorite film of all time, Tom Hanks' 2004 forgotten film "The Terminal". 

I stinkin' love love love "The Terminal"... well, as you can imagine, any movie that is one of 20 favorite films of all time you'd have to love love love.

"The Terminal", directed by Steven Spielberg, stars Tom Hanks as Viktor Navorski, who is coming through JFK airport in New York City in order to accomplish a small project for his late father.  However, while Viktor traveled from his home country of Krakozhia, while in the air, the country erupted into civil war.   As a result, the United States no longer recognizes Krakozhia as a sovereign nation, meaning that Viktor cannot enter US territory.  And since his home country is now in civil unrest, he cannot return home, leaving him stranded in the airport.

This catches the attention and ire of the head of airport Customs Frank Dixon, wonderfully played by Stanley Tucci, who wants Viktor gone so he doesn't have to deal with him.   The Tuch is never evil, he's never a complete jerk, but his character is so by the book, he refuses to show Viktor any compassion, making him a great villian that you really can't hate, but find easy to dislike.

In the months and months and months that Viktor remains confined in the airport, he begins to befriend and even win over most of the employees there, in the shops, in the bars and behind the scenes.  The cast of characters is also great, with a couple of unknowns--Diego Luna and Kumar Pallena--playing airport employees of various capacities, and Catherine Zeta-Jones portraying the stewardess that Viktor takes a liking too.

The movie itself wasn't well received by many critics, and many people didn't think this film was up to snuff with Spielberg standards, but I just loved it.  I think its warm, its funny and Tom Hanks' Viktor is very, very likable.

Now... wait for it... wait for it... the purpose of this entire post... the spiritual lesson I took from this film.  Its in one scene, somewhere close to the middle. 

The Tuch giving The Hanks the business

Frank Dixon figured he needs to get rid of Viktor.  The best way to do that is have Viktor leave... so he walked Viktor to the entrance, gives him some money and says, "You are free to go." Frank Dixon then walks away, back to the offices and turns on the monitors.  Everyone watches as Viktor stands at the entrance, wanting to leave.  Frank Dixon knows as soon as Viktor walks out, immigration will take him and *poof*, problem solved.

Viktor takes a step.  Then another.  Then another.  The automatic doors open.  The temptation of something so simple is right there.  But he knows this isn't the right way, this isn't what he's supposed to do... he steps back, looks at the camera, and says, in broken English, "I wait.  I wait."

I wait.

I think we could all learn a lesson from Viktor.  Wait.  When you know its not what God wants, wait.  Instead of walking through that door into the cold of temptation, taking the easy route, wait.  It might be--probably is--harder to wait.  You want to move forward, you want to go on, heck, it might seem like something YOU think is the best thing... wait.

I wait.

Like Viktor, we should look into the camera, and say "I wait".  Its a patience lesson, one that none of us wants to hear.  Patience is something I refuse to pray for, as that's a prayer request I feel that God will always answer...

Yup, this one has been all over the map... air travel... a film review... and Jesus.  I'm sure you were waiting for this to be interesting.  Whoops. 

Idols Then & Now

So, The Lovely Steph Leann has cataracts.  Have I told you this?  No, probably not.  Anyway, ever since Campbell popped out into the world, she noticed her vision was a little jacked up... a visit to the optometrist revealed that even in her relatively young age, both eyes have astigmatism and cataracts. 

And today was eye surgery numbero uno... her right eye was taken care of, leaving her with a funky clear shield over that eye, and a few bottles of drops to use all day long.  Don't worry, though, fellow Coffee Drinkers and TLSL fans (and I know she has fans, I hear from you asking about her), she is just fine.

I only mention all of this to note that it might come up again in our viewing of...

THIS IS

AMERICAN

IDOL

Tonight is Thursday... and for the first time in three weeks, I'm going to be able to watch and blog the performances, AND THEN blog the results show... without knowing who gets the boot!  And this will get posted hopefully by Friday afternoon, in a timely fashion from the shows!  Progress, baby!

We are first given a video recap of last week's "dramatic results show", where J-Sanch was voted off, and then subsequently voted back on by the judges... J-Lo racing to the stage, essentially telling her to not bother singing, because they have already decided they are "Saving" her.  My thoughts are that they had a list of just a couple they would save, and more they would not--and she was at the top.

And Ryan Seacrest gives us a nod to the passing of Dick Clark, who died yesterday at the ripe ol' age of 82.  Good job, Seacrest.  That's a great mention.

On with the show!!

Tonight, each of our Idols will take on two songs... the first will be a number one song from 2000 to now... the second, a Motown classic.

Holly Cav is up first, and she's taking on our modern day Whitney/Mariah/Celine, at least when it comes to this show... no, I am not talking about Ke$ha... I mean Adele. 

She starts the first few notes by singing acapella... and then launches into what is now an contender for the best song of the night, even though its first.  Hollie Cavanaugh at last has a brilliant Idol moment.

Creepy Uncle Steven loved it. J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg said "pitchy"... but liked it.  Oh, that Randy the Dawg.

Next up, the ladies lurve them some Colton Dixon.  I mean, all up and down Facebook, its a Colton Love Fest from the stay at home moms and older chicks... he's like a Rocker version of the The Widower Danny Gokey. 

And what is he singing?  Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance".  And I'm not sure this is the best song for him... its a risky choice, its a brave choice, but honestly, I'm not a fan of this performance.  Love the original song, but not the cover by Colton. 

Randy the Dawg calls its a "Colton Dixon concert!"  J-Lo loved it.  Creepy Uncle Steven kinda blubbers a little bit, a la Paula Abdul, only without passing the room key over. 

Okay, let's get it out there.  Its time to declare MY Next American Idol.  Sometimes I can do it early, sometimes late (there were only four Idols when I declared Haley Reinhart as Last Season's My Next American Idol Haley Reinhart), and sometimes early... and so here is my choice...

My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone is coming up next... and she's singing "No One" by Alicia Keys.  Not bad, not great, but I did like it. 

J-Lo says she got her first Goosies of the night.  I'm sure there is medication for that.  Creepy Uncle Steven says it was great and she sang her tushy off. Randy the Dawg was happy with it too.

And if you think that I'm a little weirded out by having My Next American Idol be someone with the last name "Testosterone", you might be right. 

And now we're up to Phillip Phillips, who is doing Usher's "U Got It Bad", which is stripped down with a sax, a bongo, an upright bass and a guitar or two.  Looks like a garage band, and it sounds great. 

The judges think so, giving him the first Standing O of the evening.  Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler says something about "no chump love, sucka", though I don't know what that means. J-Lo uses the word sexy no less than four times.   Randy the Dawg smiles big. 

Once again, we see J-Sanch become The Saved Jessica Sanchez from last week in the "dramatic results show results"... she takes on the second Alicia Keys song of the night, "Fallin'", an Idol standard that is hard to mess with.

And here we are again... she is a good great singer with a good great fantastic voice.  But no matter how Idol tries to sell her to us, she's just boooooring. 

The judges just gush.  As they always do, doing their best to convince us that we need to vote for this chick. 

Out of every artist that has hit the number one spot in the 12 years since the year 2000, not only do we have two Alicia Keys songs, but we've also got two Lady Gaga song... and Little Skylar Laine is taking on the country version of Gaga's "Born this Way".

Trim the 'stache, give him a fiddle, suddenly
this is the guy staring at Little Skylar Laine

By the way, the fiddler behind Little Skylar Laine is freaking me out.  He kind of resembles Michael Biehn's nutso character in "The Abyss", my 10th favorite film of all time. 

I'm not sure that I was a big fan of Little Skylar Laine's style or look at the beginning of the year... and she's really grown on me, like kudzu. 

The judges gush.  J-Lo says about 3000 words in 7 seconds, while Creepy Uncle Steven tells us that people will drawls will love her.  Randy the Dawg tells her she's beyond ready and amazing. 

And ending the first round of songs is Joshua Ledet, who claims his idol is Fantasia.  And he's singing his idol's song, "I Believe".  Really?  Not sure that I could get behind anyone who has Fantasia as his idol. 

I'm not sure I've ever heard this exact song, but I know I've heard about fifty songs just like it.  "If You Believe" from that gawd-awful "Prince of Egypt" movie is like this... seriously, how can you screw up a song that has both pre-skank Mariah and pre-crack Whitney on it?  And yet, its a terrible song.  And a terrible movie.  Let's move on.

Joshua Ledet?  Eh.

Randy the Dawg calls him totally gifted.  J-Lo tells us what he gives America every week.  And Creepy Uncle Steven pulls out the "you can sing the phone book" line.   Eh.

And now, we start Round Two, with Hollie Cav getting a video message from The Liverpool Football Club (re: commie soccer), and her giggling.

Despite the fact I rarely watched the show, I do remember Soul Train
as having one of the coolest, most hip openings of any TV show in its day

First, though, we get a clip of Soul Train, which is what we'll be doing songs from... "The Spirit of Soooooooooooooullllll Traaaaaaaaain..."

Hollie Cav is doing Dusty Springfield's "Son of a Preacher Man"... and however she made it happen, Hollie Cav is lookin' good tonight.  No joke.  Like the song too.

Randy the Dawg said, "Dude, you worked it out!"  J-Lo liked this even better than the first song.  Creepy Uncle Steven says can be even better. 

I truly dig me some Earth, Wind & Fire, and so I'm looking forward to hearing Colton Dixon doing my favorite of theirs, "September".  Its a different take, not quite the soul version I'm used to, but really good nonetheless. 

I remember having this as my ringtone two phones ago, and even being in New York City on missions in 2005, and using this as my alarm.  Nothing better than waking up in a hot hostel in Manhattan during an August heat wave at 615am to the sounds of Earth, Wind and Fire.

Creepy Uncle Steven thinks Colton's voice could have had a better song.  J-Lo agreed.  Randy the Dawg also agreed.  I disagree completely... this was much better than his Gaga.

Seacrusty says, "Get in the mood with this piece from d$'s Next American Idol Elise!"  He is just a rhymer, that Seacrusty.

She's doing Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On", and I have to be upfront here.  I love My Next American Idols Elise Testosterone's voice.  I love the raspy and the snarl and the growl.  Its awesome.  She, however, is not someone I want to "lets get it on" with.  Plus, I've never been a huge fan of this song anyway.

Do I regret anointing the My Next American Idol nickname?  No. Not yet. 

Having said all that, the judges are idiots.  J-Lo is telling her how My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone doesn't show enough emotion.  Wait... what?  Seriously?  Jennifer Lopez, have you been watching the show this season?   Creepy Uncle Steven and Randy the Dawg both babble incoherently, even confusing Al Green and Marvin Gaye, while J-Lo mixes up Led Zeppelin and Queen.  Just stop talking.

The Lovely Steph Leann:  You know... I kinda miss when they let the Idols do longer songs, as the group begins to dwindle down
Me:  Perhaps that's so they can continue to do a two hour show.
The Lovely Steph Leann:  Perhaps. But a few years ago, Your Next American Idol Elise Testosterone would have been able to do a 3 or 4 minute version of that song, instead of 90 seconds. 

For his next tune, Phillip2 is busting up on some Wilson Pickett with "In the Midnight Hour", and this turns out to be a little screechy for my taste.  Just a bit, really.  I mean, its not bad... but I liked his Usher song better.

Randy the Dawg loves that Phillip2 is who Phillip2 is.  J-Lo uses the term "mmm!"  I think I'm going to start a rumor... J-Lo dumped Marc Anthony so she could mack openly on Phillip Phillips.  I know a guy who knows someone who saw someone who knows a guy who works on Idol's set and saw J-Lo and Phillip2 looking tenderly at each other. 

The Saved Jessica Sanchez is up next, doing Otis Redding's "Try a Little Tenderness".  Not a single note escaped The Saved Jessica Sanchez's lips before The Lovely Steph Leann shouts, "What the crap is she wearing?!" 

Creepy Uncle Steven loved the song.  J-Lo says this was a great connection with the audience.  Randy the Dawg thought it was awesome. 

Honestly?  To my untrained ear, I thought that was terrible. 

For her second song, Little Skylar Laine is doing "Heard it Through the Grapevine", and as she descends the steps from a maddening wash of digital telephone poles on the video screen, she is stalked followed by Crazy Michael Biehn the Fiddler, who is rocking the Skinny Jeans.

This song was decent, a country version of a song that really doesn't warrant a country version.  Randy the Dawg makes a great point, though... she and Phillip2 really know how to connect to the audience in a way that The Saved Jessica Sanchez just cant make happen.  Creepy Uncle Steven calls her a "wild horse who cannot be tamed".  J-Lo gushed.

Let's finish this sum-gun up tonight with a Civil Rights Anthem.. maybe THE Civil Rights Anthem... Sam Cooke's classic "A Change is Gonna Come".  I love the opening to this song, both the original and Joshua Ledet's version...

"I waaaaaas booooorn... on the rivah"...

This is one of those majestic songs that gives you lots and lots of room to screw up, but if you can get it right, if you can nail it, its a beautiful thing... and Joshua Ledet nails it.  My favorite song of the entire night.

The judges deservedly gushed over this completely. 

The Lovely Steph Leann:  I thought it was "A Change Gonna Come"... is there an "is"?
Me:  Is "A Change IS Gonna Come"
The Lovely Steph Leann:  But he just sang "A change gonna come...", with no "is"
Me:  But its called "A Change IS Gonna Come"
The Lovely Steph Leann:  Uh... okay.

My best to worst:  Joshua Ledet's "A Change is Gonna Come"... Hollie Cav's "Rolling in the Deep"... Colton Dixon's "September"... Phillip2's "U Got It Bad"... Hollie Cav's "Son of a Preacher Man"... My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone's "No One"... The Saved Jessica Sanchez's "Fallin'"...  Little Skylar Laine's "Born This Way"...  Colton Dixon's "Bad Romance"... Phillip2's "In the Midnight Hour"... My Next America Idol Elise Testosterone's "Let's Get It On"... Little Skylar Laine's "Heard It Through the Grapevine"... Joshua Ledet's "I Believe"... The Saved Jessica Sanchez's "Try a Little Tenderness."

Larry Crowne's Big Miss

This movie should be an awesome film.  Starring one guy who is almost a "Can't Miss", that being Tom Hanks (for anyone who has seen "The Ladykillers", you'll know that the "almost" in that statement is necessary), and at least until recently, a bankable leading actress, that being Julia Roberts (though since "Eat Pray Love" made about 9 dollars at the box office, that might not be true either.)

Mercy and Larry, discussing the GPS, which is voiced by Nia
Vardalos.

...or if you are a glutton for punishment, watch both in "Charlie Wilson's War", only made good by the presence of Philip Seymore Hoffman and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with...

Anyway, "Larry Crowne"'s premise is promising... a guy who has been successful at a U-Mart, a big Costco-like store, gets fired because he doesn't have a college degree, and to better his life, he heads back to school.  To do what, I'm not sure, but he heads back there.

The co-stars also leads you to believe this might be a, excuse me Chazz Sheen, "winning" movie.  Cedric the Entertainer and Taraji Henson play comical neighbors without being too slapsticky, while Gugu Mbatha-Raw and Wilmer Valderrama lead the group of college friends that Larry meets.  Bryan Cranston is the jerkweed hubby of Mercedes (Julia's character), and does a fine job being jerkweedy, and finally, George Takei almost steals the movie as the eccentric, somewhat creepy Dr. Matsutani, one of Larry's professors.

This looks like a made up pic of Takei... but this is him in the movie,
and he is one part weird and one part hilarious, and wholly
uncomfortable.

Finally, the fact that Tom Hanks directed it, though only his second directing effort, his first was "That Thing You Do!", one of The Lovely Steph Leann's favorites, and a good, good movie.  "Larry Crowne" was also co-written by Nia Vardalos, screenwriter of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", one of my 35 favorite films of all time, and star of another of my new favorites, "My Life in Ruins". 

But somehow, like a jigsaw puzzle piece that almost fits, that almost goes into the spot you think it should go into, but it still had to much wiggle room, or the knobby part is a little too big to go into the slot like it should, this movie doesn't quite fit, it doesn't quite get into that slot like you want it to.

I liked the movie well enough... it does have its funny moments, and I did find myself laughing out loud a few times.  Tom Hanks is the Tom Hanks we love, sort of goofy, never too serious, just lovable.  It doesn't make any sense that he wins the Employee of the Month for like, 8 months in a row, after spending years of high service in the Navy, and he's discarded for not having a college degree.  Heck, John Stossel himself tells us in a recent Washington Post article that college might not nearly be as necessary as we make it out to be.

Overlooking that, then there are the neighbors who make a living by having a 24/7 yard sale.  Then there is the scooter buddy who leases and opens a consignment shop.  Then there is the fact that Julia Roberts' character's name is "Mercedes".

Looking past all of that, however, there is one thing that kinda dulls the movie for me... and that's that Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts have no chemistry.  They just... well, they just don't.  The Lovely Steph Leann will disagree with me here, but there was just no spark between Tom and Julia, which made it hard to put forth a believable spark between Larry and Mercedes. 

Please understand, though, it sounds like I'm doing nothing but telling you the bad stuff about the movie, and maybe that's what I'm doing, but if you can get past all of this, then its not a bad movie at all.  Its entertaining, and even if it never hits the goal that the ambition strives for, its easy to laugh at the neighbors and their yard sale set-up, and its easy to like Larry's newfound hipster scooter friends, and watching Mercy kick out her hubby when he really stoops to new lows of scumbuckety is also great.

I would love to tell you that you should go see this, at least in a matinee, because Tom Hanks is one of those guys you just don't want to see fail, but really, I would have to tell you to Netflix or Redbox it.

If you want to see Julia Roberts with some real chemistry, though, then watch her and Clooney in "Ocean's Eleven", or her and Aaron Eckhart in "Erin Brockovich" or her and Hugh Grant in "Notting Hill", my 113th, 91st and 14th favorite films of all time, respectively...

As for Tom Hanks, watch he and Meg Ryan in the 90s.  They were like a modern day Hepburn and Tracy, and made wonderful movies together.  Oh, and he and Wilson in "Cast Away"... they had a ball together.     

The Summer of Blogging Day Thirty Three

Americana Patriotic Fuzzy Wuzzy Movies Part I

So, for the 4th of July, being the proud American Conservative that I am, I usually do something kinda fun and/or serious for the Independence Day weekend, as I try to remember what this holiday weekend is all about... sacrifice, determination, and the birth of a nation.

But this year, I thought of something a little different... The Movie Angle.  I decided to do a Top Ten American Films... now that doesn't mean "Made in America", necessarily... it means, Top Ten Films About American, or Americana... movies that make you feel good, movies that make you proud to be in this country, movies that just give you a great feeling about who we are, and that this is in fact that greatest country in the history of the entire world, nay universe. 

And that quite simply defines the qualifications of this list of movies... its about American, its about the American dream, its about Americana... and its not depressing or too serious.  That means that "Saving Private Ryan", "Glory" and "United 93", which are all amazing movies, were not considered for this list, because... well, though they are about this bravery of this country and its history, they leave you feeling a little sad and quiet.   And let's be real--its the holiday weekend, no one wants to be sad. 

Movies that didn't make my list, but must be mentioned as "Honorable Mentions"... "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" (1939), not listed because its been so long since I've seen it, I can't remember it enough to honestly talk about it... "Coming to America" (1988), one of Eddie Murphy's finest, and a great story about the success that anyone can have... "Rocky" (1977), because while a great film, man is it slow... "The Dirty Dozen" (1967), another great film, but still a little depressing with all the death and destruction--great for a guy movie, but not necessarily a Top Ten Americana Film.

Alright, now that we have gotten this part down, let's get to the first five... now, these aren't listed from my tenth favorite to my favorite film, as in, my #1 or #2 might actually be ranked lower on my overall The Dave 100 favorite films list--but these are films ranked in "Most American Dream/Spirit/History/Cana"...

Who else can name anothe Paul LeMat movie?  I can!  I thought he
was cool back in the day.  Cindy Williams went on to do "Laverne and
Shirley", while we all know Opie Cunningham's success

NUMBER TEN... "AMERICAN GRAFFITI" (1973)
I saw this film when I was a kid, and loved it then, and seeing it as an adult, I love it even more.  This movie actually spent a little time in my Top Five Films Ever... now, it currently ranks as my 15th favorite film of all time.

This is very character driven, taking place overnight, following the high school graduation of friends Curt (and his search for the mysterious blonde in the T-Bird)... Steve, and his chick Laurie... John Milner, who becomes an accidental baby sitter... and Terry "The Toad", who just wants to get some alcohol to impress a girl.

You know how DieHard started a trend with other movies being described as "DieHard on a boat!" or "DieHard on a bus!"... well, "American Graffiti" became known as a phrase to describe a film that features a bunch of young stars who would go on to be a famous... this one featured Ron Howard, Richard Dreyfus, Suzanne Somers, Paul LeMat, Charles Martin Smith... all actors who are either still famous, or enjoyed much success for at least the next few decades.  And of course, a very young Harrison Ford in a drag race. 

NUMBER NINE... "MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS" (1944)
Wanted to give something for everyone on this list, and that includes the token musical... I love this movie.  No, seriously, I really do love this film.  Judy Garland was at her young adult peak, and is simply magnificent in this movie.

Set against the backdrop of the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis, Missouri, it follows a season or two in the life of the Smith family, including Mr and Mrs. Smith, and their children Rose, Esther (Garland), Agnes, Tootie and Lon Jr, the only boy.   They live, they share romance, like Esther's romance with the boy next door, and Rose's expectations of a proposal from her boo.


What can I say?  I love this song.

Seasons pass, first summer, than Halloween, then onto Christmas where you hear the immortal "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"... by the way, we sing that now as a fun Christmas song, but in the context of this movie, holy crap is this song sad.

But what's not sad?  "The Trolley Song", sung on the trolley as Esther awaits the arrival of her man, John.  I dare you to not feel at least a little happy when this scene takes place, one of my favorite musical scenes of all time.  Bang bang bang goes the trolley... clang clang clang goes the bell...

NUMBER EIGHT... "DAVE" (1993)
Dave Kovic works at a D.C. area temp agency, and makes a side living by impersonating the president at car lots and business openings and so on.  So, when the president becomes incapacitated in a most embarrassing fashion (which includes Laura Linney, who I just adore), Secret Service Agent Duane Stevenson (played by a young Ving Rhames) shows up to ask... or tell... Dave that he now gets to portray the president.

And portray he does, figuring it out as he goes along, trying to use common sense to solve the issues that we see unsolved and wonder why that's so.  All the while, he's battling Chief of Staff Bob Alexander (Frank Langella), who is trying to use Dave as his own puppet to get stuff done and further his political aspirations. 

I think this movie led me to be a Democrat in high school and early college, with the belief that the government can pretty much do anything!  When Dave steps up and says, "I want everyone to find a job, and the government will make that it's job to do so!" 17 year old me was like, "Yeah!  That's awesome!"

I've since wised up, but still look upon this movie as a gem, an idealistic image of what our country could be if we just worked together to make it happen... and if the government could be trusted.  My 38th favorite movie of all time.

Benjamin Martin (l) and Tavington (r) square off

NUMBER SEVEN... "THE PATRIOT" (2000)
Well, you have to have an actual Revolutionary War film on this list, don't ya?  I actually have two, but we'll get to that later...

Mel Gibson was in his prime in the late 90s and early 2000s, well after Lethal Weapon movies had come and gone, but before he reached his pinnacle in "Passion of the Christ" (and then subsequent fall of the cliff of relevance due to recent year's activities), and it was in 2000 that "The Patriot" came out.  I remember seeing this movie with Mikey and Shawn and the biggest America lover of 'em all, The Honorable Revr'n Ty Sharpton Coffey, who I literally thought would walk out of the theater, find someone with a British accent and punch them in the face. 

This is a rather silly movie, if you think about it, but nonetheless, its entertaining... it tells the the story of a peaceful American farmer who is swept into the  Revolutionary War when his family is threatened.   Mel plays Benjamin Martin, who is loosely based on real Continental Army officer Francis Marion, along with other Revolutionary War figures.

The real pleasure of this movie is Jason Isaacs, however, a few years before playing Harry Potter baddie Lucious Malfoy. Jason, with his platinum blonde hair, menacing eyes and crazy creepy voice, is Col. William Tavington, and is ruthless, bloodthirsty, and promises the English Army leader Lord Cornwallis that he will capture Benjamin, but "if I do this... I won't be able to ever return to England..."

Of course, there are battle scenes, and violence and a heartbreaking moment when a church burns with everyone inside, but overall it, its engaging and worth a watch.  And yes, you might want to punch a Brit when its all over. 

"Okay, so you go here, and you there, you'll be over here and..."

NUMBER SIX... "MIRACLE" (2004)
If I gave you a short list of events that I wish I could go back in time and tell my Past Self to attend, that list would include the Miracle on Ice in New York, even though at the time my Past Self was only five.  I guess my Now Self would have to convince my Then Parents to take my Past Self.

Either way, that event was monumental in sports history, and this movie tells the story of the American achievement here, namely, their victory over the Soviets.   Herb Brooks (Kurt Russell) takes the job as coach, then begins to form the dysfunctional team into a solid team, which includes the famous "Again" scene on the ice following a tie with Norway.. I won't spoil it for you, but its goose pimple inducing.

Of course, you know that the Americans beat the Russians in a semi-final game (it wasn't the gold medal game, contrary to popular belief) and went on to defeat Finland for the gold, but this movie is all about the journey, the struggle and yes, will make you ultimately proud to be an American.  Where at least you know you are free.  And you won't forget the men who died who gave... sorry.  Habit.

TOMORROW, on July 4th... Americana Patriotic Fuzzy Wuzzy Movies Part II, my picks for the five best Americana Patriotic Fuzzy Wuzzy Movies ever... including baseball, lost artifacts, aliens, airplanes and history!

The Summer of Blogging Day Thirty

The Kids Are Alright Is All Wrong

I love countdowns and rankings and lists of things that are good and lists of things that are bad, and so on and so forth... and at the end of the year, I spend hours looking at Year End Best and Year End Worst of just about anything. 

And every year, I even do my own Top 100 Coolest Things of the Year... and every year, when it comes to movies, I like to find my ten favorite films of the year.  And the last week of the year, I try to bear down and see a few films that I might have missed before the midnight bells chime, bringing 2011 to our doorsteps.

Random picture of The Goddess, only because I haven't
mentioned her in quite a while.

Right now, The Lovely Steph Leann and I are watching "The Kids Are Alright", starring three people that I really, really like... Annette Bening, who does one of my favorite roles of all time in my 30th favorite film of all time... Julianna Moore, who is one of my favorite actresses and was a pre-goddess to me before The Goddess became The Goddess (and before I fell in love with Amy Adams, of course)... and Mark Ruffalo, who happens to be likable in just about anything and everything.

So, Annette and Julianne play Nic and Jules, respectively, who are lesbians in love, and are mothers to two kids, Joni and Laser.  Yes, Laser.  So, the kids end up finding out who did the "donation" to make their own lives possible, and they end up meeting him, and hilarity, heartbreak, drama and issues ensue.

I can say this, even before the movie is finished playing out... its well acted.  All three leads, Bening, Moore and Ruffalo are playing their own parts perfectly, the story is well done, and the plot, for what its worth, is consistent with no holes or silliness to drag it down.

But... a Christ Follower, how does one enjoy such a film?  The premise of the film itself, two lesbians and their relationship, disrupted by the sudden appearance of their children's sperm donor, spits in the face of what we as Christ Followers believe to be true, right and just according to Scripture and our own belief in God. 

Let's be clear here... I love movies.  I love watching movies, I love how they make me feel, I love breaking apart a film to dissect it, I love thinking about movies that stick with me, I love enjoying Craptastic films that aren't supposed to be anything other than Crapstatic.  And yes, I enjoyed "The Hangover".  And yes, I get a kick of watching "American Pie 2".  And I did see "Boogie Nights" and thought it, taking into consideration the premise again, was a very well done film. 

So to sit here and say "Oh, I can handle the potty humor of 'The Hangover' and I think its hilarious!" and then follow it up with "'Boogie Nights' was enjoyable and Julianne Moore was awesome!" (which, by the way, she was), only to turn around and say, "I don't like the premise of 'The Kids are Alright' because its just too wrong," is a little hypocritical.  But yet, I will say those very things.

What's the difference?  I dunno.  I don't pretend to know.  I never saw "Brokeback Mountain", and not because I am homophobic... I never saw it mostly because all the things I'd heard from people around me was what I suspected--take out the man on man relationship and make it a normal (and I said normal, get over it) man on woman relationship, and its suddenly a boring film about a bad romance, with beautiful scenery.  So, knowing the movie isn't that good, why do I want to see two guys getting it on?  I don't, and I haven't.

So, back to "The Kids Are Alright"... the language is raw.  Tons of F-Bombs.  Julianne Moore is naked, though she does that in many of her films.  There are several, and I mean several, sex scenes.  The lesbian couple watches gay porn to stimulate their own relationship.  The son is named Laser.  These are all the things that are wrong about this film.   As a movie fan, I'm sure you can catch this on Hurricane Rhett's favorite channel, Logo, in a year or so, or maybe the Oprah Network or something later.  As a Christ Follower, I have to tell you, avoid it.  Just avoid it at all costs.

However... if you want to see brilliance from these three leads...

Julianne Moore: 
"Evolution"... one of the most enjoyable, funny pieces of crap ever put on film.  Its stupid, its idiotic, and its hilarious. 
"Children of Men"... its bleak, its dark, its futuristic and its amazingly done
"Boogie Nights"... I can't recommend this film to you, because its the life of a porn star.  I would tell you to watch it on one of those "Cut out the bad parts!" devices you can find at LifeWay, but all you'd see would be a title card and the credits.  But Julianne Moore is phenomenal in it.

However, since we are discussing to good lookin' Julianne Moore and her films... avoid at all costs "The Forgotten", one of the single worst films I've ever seen in my whole life.  Its awful.  Its terrible.  And what's worse is, it starts out as a really good film... and then tanks, hard.  Bad.  Its terrible. 

Annette Bening:
"Mars Attacks"... talk about stupid and brilliant, at the same time.  A great cast, and a great turn by Bening.
"The Grifters"... Once again, its a R rated film with a lot to it, but its a great story and a great movie all around.  John Cusack is especially awesome.
"The American President"... I cannot tell you how much I love this film.  I came up with the term "A Sydney Ellen Wade" performance for Annette Bening's turn as the love interest of President Shepherd.   Every scene she's in, she shines, every word she speaks, she glows and few times have I ever seen someone look so good on camera.  Except Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with. 

Mark Ruffalo:

"13 Going On 30"... Yes, its a silly rom-com, and yes, Jennifer Garner has The McGriddle Effect all over her, but Mark Ruffalo is just charming enough to make guys like him, and make The Lovely Steph Leann jus swoon.
"Shutter Island"... He co-stars with Leo DiCaprio, and holds up well.  The movie is a little over-ambitious, and it almost pulls off being a mind-blowing cinematic experience, only to end up being a really good film with a somewhat predictable twist... but that's not on Ruffalo.
"Collateral"... When making the 2010 edition of The Dave100, I struggled with this film.  See it for Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise, and how good they are.  And enjoy Ruffalo's supporting role. 

But avoid "The Kids Are Alright".

What's the Story, Morning Glory?

"UPDATE"
Mom is alive.  Not well, not kicking, not healthy, but alive.  Thanks for praying and thinking of her and our family. 

"ITS ALL IN THE WRIST"
I was watching the end of the 13th ranked movie on The Dave100, and was about to watch "The Bounty Hunter" with Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston when I looked over to see The Lovely Steph Leann cuddled up in her pink Snuggie.  She's got her eyes closed, earbuds in, trying to desperately finish an audiobook that she checked out online and is due to expire at midnight tonight.

The Lovely Steph Leann, catching a few
winks in the evening

She doesn't like it when I turn on movies she hasn't seen, and wants too, so I hit the DVR button on "The Bounty Hunter" to watch it later, even though I've heard its a dreadful film.  I'm also DVR'ing "The Book of Eli", a great film I did see early this year, and am excited about seeing again later. 

So, to pass the time while I write a little on a late Saturday night, I turned it on The Speed Channel, for a classic episode of "Pimp My Ride"... and here's my thoughts for the night...

So, I've noted the fact that I seldom, if ever, actually get sick.  I wake up with a slightly sore throat or not feeling all that well, and by noon, I'm just right as rain.  Maybe I have a sniffle here and there, but overall, I'm cool.  Sometimes, however, I do pass it on to The Lovely Steph Leann--I can't be selfish and take all the infection, so I want to share.

Getting hurt, however, is another story.  Back in May of 2009, I told the story of the infected finger and the attack that my eyes waged on my body, then earlier this year, my left eye attacked me, and who can forget the coffee inferno that erupted on my foot? 

Now?  I'm in a splint.

About a week or so ago, I was working on our order that had just come into the store.  It had been piled up quite high, but several of us were working hard on getting it organized, dispersed and off of the cafe floor--I had only a few boxes left, and was trying to help Melanie Z from dealing with it later. 

I lifted a box of coffee, a box of oatmeal and some frap roast mix, and as I turned around to my left to take a step, I didn't see the two boxes of apple juice that lay motionless on the floor.  My shins hit the boxes, and I lost complete control.  The coffee, the oatmeal and the frap roast mix flew through the air, landed on the tile with a skid and slid across the floor.  I followed very closely behind, hitting the ground hard, landing on my left knee and my left hand/wrist.

A few customers came over and helped me up, made sure I was okay, I told them I was.  I shook it off, laughed a little, thanked them for their help.  I made my way to the back room, where as soon as I turned the corner out of sight, I slumped to the floor, holding my knee close to my chest, fighting a scream of pain.  A single tear trickled down my cheek.

One of my co-workers, Vee, walked back and saw me, and simply said, "Wow.  You're not alright."  I laughed through the tear, saying, "I'm sure I'll be fine.  Just give me a minute."  My knee hurt so, so bad.  So, for the next several days, I walked with a slight limp as my knee, bruised and and battered, began to heal itself.  Stairs were horrible, but over the last week, I think its going away.

However comma

...I did notice that my left wrist was not feeling as great.  In fact, it kinda had a little pain to it, depending on which way I turned it.  By mid-week, my wrist and hand just hurt when I worked, and by Friday morning, turning a door knob, pushing down the white mocha pump or picking up a gallon of milk with that hand made it hurt like crazy.   Off to see Dr. Vance on Friday afternoon, and he poked and prodded a little, got an X-ray and made sure it wasn't gangrenous, or riddled with AIDS or anything of that sort.  Nope, just a sprain on the wrist, one that will...

...one that will...

...one... will.... that.... wi...

...

...so, as I typed those previous words, I fell asleep.  Like, zonked out.  It was only for a brief few seconds, but it was long enough for my hand on my mouse to slip, the mouse to crash onto the keyboard, and The Lovely Steph Leann to wake up and stare at me.  I decided it was time for bed, so between the words "one that will" and right now, I've slept 8 hours, I've gone to church, I've had lunch with Hurricane Rhett, Amarylis by Morning (up from san antone), JustFish and his wife Kelly Kelly at Ruby Tuesdays, I've gone by the cigar shop to buy a gift card for my brother-in-law for Christmas, I've watched The Lovely Steph Leann pass out on the couch again, I've talked to Melanie Z on the phone about tomorrow at work, and I've listened to half of Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now" album. 

Where was I?

Oh yeah, my wrist.  It'll heal.  In about a week or so. 

The whole point of that entire story was that now I have a splint on my left wrist.  I told Melanie Z a few minutes ago, "Ya know, I don't get sick.  I just get hurt."  And get old. 

"NEED YOU NOW"
Speaking of Lady Antebellum, is there a better country song out right now than "Need You Now"?  I mean, this song has everything--being drunk, being desperate, being broken hearted and hurt, and a hot chick singing half the song.  I'll be honest with ya, for the first few times I heard it, the opening keys on the piano makes it sound a little like "I Can Only Imagine" by MercyMe, but there are few songs that are farther apart in subject than "I Can Only Imagine" and "Need You Now". 

Was watching some video clip show on CMT, and this song came up, and Darius Rucker put it perfectly... "The song is beautiful... but when you listen to it, it's about nothing more than a booty call.  A late, desperate, drunk booty call.  But they sing it beautifully."

"MORNING GLORY"
I feel so behind when it comes to movies... I did a count today at church, while a slow song was being sung during the choir concert, and I and/or we have seen about 33 movies at the theater this year, and another three that were 2010 movies I and/or we have seen on DVR, premium cable, NetFlix or OnDemand pay-per-view.

And I'm so, so behind on movie reviews... but here's one for ya.  

"Morning Glory" tells the tale of Becky Fuller, played by the getting-better-and-hotter-as-time-goes-on Rachel McAdams... she's no Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, but she's still great.  Anyway, Becky is a ambitious news producer that, due to layoffs, is forced to take a job with a very low key, struggling network, and is hired to take over their terrible morning show.  Colleen Peck (Diane Keaton) is the longtime co-anchor, and is aghast when to complete the morning show team, Becky coerces/forces an old curmudgeon of a newsman, Mike Pomeroy, played by Harrison Ford--we'll get to him in a minute.

Obligatory picture of my Hollywood
girlfriend

Of course, nothing works out perfectly, so we watch Mike Pomeroy and Colleen Peck not get along, Becky have a meltdown over nothing working, and her love interest, played by Patrick Wilson, try to pursue a woman who is giving 110% to her career and nothing to her own life.

This movie works on two levels... first, Rachel McAdams wins in just about anything she is in.  To me, you recast "Mean Girls" with someone besides Lindsay Lohan, and it still works.  But take out Rachel McAdams' Rachel, and it loses something.  She wins in "Wedding Crashers", she shines in "The Notebook" and even makes "Red Eye" bearable, so when Rachel McAdams is in something, it automatically makes me thing that this might be a pretty good movie. 

Secondly, I don't know what happened to Harrison Ford, but he looks like he's been chewing on an onion for ten years now.  The man IS Indiana Jones and IS Han Solo, two of the most awesome icons in movie history, not to mention he was in four non-Star Wars or Indy related films, in The Dave100, that being "Air Force One" (46th), "Witness" (34th), "The Fugitive" (25th) and "American Graffiti" (15th). 

Harrison.  Smile once in a while.  Seriously. 

Anyway, back to "Morning Glory", this role is perfect for him.  Mike Pomeroy is bitter, is angry, feels like his lot in life sucks, and even though he was very successful back in the day, he fees like this new spot for him on the morning show is beneath him.  Ford trudges through the film with grunts and growls and scowls, and if you didn't know any better, he might have just as much contempt for being in this movie as his character does for being on the show in question.

"Morning Glory" is fun and simple, it doesn't try to hard, and you genuninely like and root for Becky Fuller, and can even empathize with her when she and Mike do the inevitable sit down, where they have the "don't work so hard or you will end up like me" conversation.  The movie is practically out of theaters at this point, so catch it as a rental. 

"UNSTOPPABLE"
Another movie we saw recently was "Unstoppable", starring Chris Pine (Star Trek) and Denzel Washington, and its premise is simple... they work on a train line.  They go out on what is supposed to be an easy, somewhat boring train transfer, moving a train and its cars from one town to the next in rural, blue collar Pittsburgh.

In another part of the state, two bumbling engineers accidentally let a train get away from them.  Just so happens this train is pretty huge.  Just so happens that its carrying toxic chemicals.  Just so happens that there is a train full of school kids on a field trip not too far up the track.  Just so happens that there is a dangerous part of the track up the road.  Just so happens this runaway train is, well, unstoppable.  Just so happens that... Denzel and Chris Pine are on the other train and are going to save the day.

Just so happens... I loved the heck out of this movie.  You know, sometimes you just want to be entertained, you don't want to think too much, you don't want to be taught anything or preached to or leave the theater dwelling on the film's message and so on... with "Unstoppable", none of that happens.  Its not a dumb movie, it just doesn't pretend to be anything that its not... its simply an action film with two likable leads on one train, trying to stop another train from going really, really fast.

This is one of those films that I liked watching now, and when it comes on Starz around May or so, it will be fun to leave on in the background while I'm doing other things around the house. 

"NO TREE"
If you come to The Cabana, you won't see a Christmas tree in our living room.  You won't see stockings on the mantle, you won't find lights hung around the railing out on the porch, or a giant Mickey in a Santa suit sitting in the corner. 

The reason why?  We didn't put a tree up this year.  See, I've always poked fun at those people who had their tree up in November, before Thanksgiving... in my mind, Christmas doesn't start until Thanksgiving is over, regardless of Wal-Mart having their trimmings up in September.

But, I kinda understand why people put it up before Thanksgiving.  See, our tree is huge.  Its a decent tree, its 7.5 feet, and its big.  Its one of those older trees where there are branches to install in the tree, first the bottom row, then the next, then the next, then a few more, until you get 2/3rds the way up the tree, then you stick on the top part.  The branches are supposedly color coded, but the white and the yellow look awfully alike, and the yellow has two levels and its just a nightmare. 

I've got to drag this thing out, put all the branches on, then we have to deal with gaps.  Then we have to deal with lights... though I'm thinking  that, starting next year, I'm going to toss every single strand of lights we have here out into the garbage... lights are now about $1 or $2 a box, so I can spend $10 a year to have fresh lights that I don't have to worry about.  The Lovely Steph Leann is all about colored lights, so they are even cheaper. 

Anyway, after the lights finally go up, we've got the ornaments.  I came into this marriage with about a dozen or so ornaments, whileshe came in with about 779 ornaments.  And she wants every.  single.  one of them.  on the tree. 

When Thanksgiving is over, we just get busy.  Really, really busy.  We had a weekend away that resulted in us spending a few days in Disney World, meeting up with some very dear friends while we were there.  We figured when we got back, we'd get the tree up.  When we got back, we were tired, we were lazy, we figured we'd get the tree up in a few days.

A few more days go by, and I finally ask The Lovely Steph Leann, "What if... what if we didn't put a tree up?"  She pauses, reflects for a minute, and said, "Well, I hope that this doesn't start a tradition of not putting a tree up..."  I told her that we would put it up, just maybe not this year.

Mid-December comes around, and no tree still.  The Lovely Steph Leann informs me that we aren't putting up a tree until we clean the floor.  My argument was simply, why clean the floor when we are putting a tree down, with a tree skirt over it covering the area.  Why not clean it after the tree is put away in January?  No dice, says the wife.  No floor, no tree.  I said I wasn't cleaning that part of the floor, and its a stalemate.

Then, a few days ago, The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Well, I'm in agreement... we don't have to put a tree up this year.  Just so long as we don't make this a permanent thing."  I shake my head, thinking that oh, we'll get it up at some point soon.

And here we are, the weekend before Christmas, no tree. And there won't be a tree this year at The Cabana.  Next year, I'm going to become one of those people that I made fun of... our tree is going up in mid-November, BEFORE Thanksgiving.    So when Thanksgiving rolls around, our tree is up, and we don't have to worry about it. 

And it will be a new tree.  Not the beastly monster that we have now, but something a little easier, maybe not smaller, but easier to put up.  Its gotta hold 779 ornaments, after all.