The Bad Career of a Good Katherine Heigl

So, we have the movie channels on our Dish Network satellite system, and though the legendary channels like HBO and Showtime are there, we have to say that we do enjoy the Starz Channels and now the somewhat new Epix Channels, as both are full of movies that only recently were in theaters.

We've DVR'd no less that 10 films that were out in theaters a year ago or sooner, and have been watching them night by night... in fact, when our promotional price runs out in February, I'm pretty sure we'll still pay for them, cause they rule.

One of the movies we ended up watching was a little film called "Life As We Know It", starring Josh Duhamel and Katherine Heigl.   Set in Atlanta, they play Messer and Holly, respectively, and are set up on a blind date by their besties Peter and Allison.  Things go from bad to worse as Messer and Holly despise each other from the get-go.  And things then go even further south when Peter and Allison are killed in an accident.  Well, imagine Messer and Holly's surprise when they find out that Peter and Allison's one year old daughter, Sophie, has been left to the two of them in the form of guardianship.

Oh, look... its the poop on the face joke.  Never seen that.  Original.

And, you can imagine what happens next... they hate each other, but are forced to live together to take care of Sophie, but end up somehow getting along after a while and, well, guess what, they share a bed and decide they just love each other now.  Perhaps I just gave away the ending of the film, but seriously, you had to know where this was going.

My problem with this film is the actual entire premise itself.

Let's say that The Lovely Steph Leann spits out a girl in December, which seems to be the going consensus around my circle of people.   So, a year later, we are at Epcot and the top row of Soarin' collapses--because we refuse to ride anything other than the top row--and we both die, leaving Lorelei Addison parentless.

Well, during that year between our child's birth and our own untimely death, we decided that, should we die, we wanted our friends Marky Mark and his wife Cindy Jo to become guardians of our dear offspring.  In my mind, and this is just me being crazy, this is a conversation we would have had with Marky Mark and Cindy Jo perhaps over dinner, or worst case, a random Wednesday night conversation at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship).  "Hey Warners, would you guys mind at all taking care of our precious daughter in case we, you know, bite it sometime soon?" giving them a chance to talk about it, maybe even say no.

So neither Peter, best friends with Messer, nor Allison, a BFF to Holly, had the foresight to tell their best friends, who incidentally don't even like each other that, upon their own deaths, their kid would become the besties responsibilty?  Who the crack does that?!?

Now, I've watched movies before with glaring problems right from the get-go, and many times, a good story will make for an excellent film, or at least a decent enough film to overcome such issues.  "Life as We Know It" has no such luck.  Its a terrible movie.  A terrible movie.  Its badly written, its badly acted, its even badly edited, something that I usually don't bring up.

Case in point... there is a scene where Messer, who is an Atlanta Hawks NBA broadcast TV producer, is forced to take the baby to work.  The first half of the game when Hawks are playing the New Orleans Hornets goes well enough.  Hilarity and baby hijinks ensue at halftime, and someway, somehow, the Hawks end up playing the Miami Heat the second half.  Good job, "Life As We Know It" edit guys.

Which brings us to the overall subject of Katherine Heigl.  I like Kate Heigl, I always have.  She's fun and she's cute and she does have at least some talent, as I loved Dr. Izzie Stevens on "Grey's Anatomy".  In her younger days, she was fun to watch in a movie, like the kid in "My Father the Hero", and Steven Seagal's niece in "Under Siege 2: Dark Territory", and even as Jade in "Bride of Chucky".  No problem there, right?

I never saw "Roswell", but I've heard the entire cast was great, include Kate Heigl.   But lately, she's like the Ted McGinley of movies... she starred in "The Ugly Truth" with Gerard Butler, which was three shades of awful (Gerard Butler's career is another that can be classified as "overrated")... she did "27 Dresses" which I only saw part of, leaving me with the desire to never see the rest of it.  She was also with Ashton Kutcher in "Killers" which was not necessarily a bad movie... but it wasn't a very good movie either.

I like Kate.  And in the right goofy role, I kinda like Ashton.  This film
should have been better.  Wait, it was.  It was called "Knight and Day".

Here's my take on "Killers"... if you go to the welfare line, and with Obama's taxes many of you will, and ask for your butter and cheese, they will hand you the gub'mint butter and the gub'mint cheese... if you ask for Transformers, they'll hand you Go-Bots.  If you ask for a copy of "Knight and Day", they'll give you a copy of "Killers".  Take that as you will.  Heck, I like Katie Heigl better than Cammy Diaz, but "Knight and Day" is a far superior film that only gets better on subsequent viewings.

She's also got the misfortune in being a part of what is known as the "Movie That Made The Least Amount Of Money, Like Ever, at Theaters to the Tune of $30," a film called "Zyzzyz Road".  That's another story, a great one, you can read at Entertainment Weekly, but lets just say, not a good time had by all.  Or some.  Or anyone, from what I can gather.

In fact, Katie's best film, in my (un)humble opinion, was "Knocked Up", one of Judd Apatow's first movies and a somewhat over-the-line hilarious comedy about two people that hate each other, yet have a child together (sounds familiar?  "Knocked Up" does it right, where as "Life As We Know It"...) and even though its the best film she's had, its the one she denounces.

Look, I like Katherine Heigl.  I want to see her do well, I want her to see her in better films, and perhaps its only her script choices... there is hope on the horizon, though, as she's playing the title role of Stephanie Plum in the "One for the Money" adaptation, based on the Janet Evanovich books.

Kate, if you read this, please choose scripts better.  Because Katherine Heigl's movie Life As We Know It needs some work.

The Summer of Blogging Day Sixty Two

Sandra Bullock's Proposal

I read a recent review of “The Proposal”, and it made a great point about romantic comedies… usually, within the first 15 minutes, you can kind of deduce the ending. The appeal of the movie is, is what you’ll go through to get that inevitable happily ever after worth the happy ending you knew was coming? For “The Proposal”, I have to say… well, it kinda was.

You have to know I’m a huge Sandra Bullock fan, always have been, and at one point between 1994 and 1998, I went to the theater to see every movie she released... that includes...

• “Speed”, with Dayla Ellison on Troy State's campus...
• “While You Were Sleeping”, a film I love so much that it ranks as my 52nd favorite film of all time in The Dave100
• “The Net”, an intriguing movie about a terrorist attack via the interweb, a premise that in 1995 seemed silly
• “Two If By Sea”, which I saw on a date in Montgomery, with Rebecca Miller, the same Rebecca Miller of The Divine Do-Over
• “A Time to Kill”, also starring The Goddess
• “In Love and War”, a wretched movie with Chris O'Donnell, one I saw on Troy's campus
• “Speed 2: Cruise Control” , another terrible movie
• “Hope Floats”, making it three terrible movies in a row, this one made more so by the fact that I saw it with someone who thought it was a date (it wasn't) and who made me buy her dinner and her movie. Plus, she had really, really thick eyebrows, which was really disturbing.

That many movies in a row with any actor, I’m not sure I can say that for just about anyone right now. Maybe ever.

Right from the get-go, you know exactly how this movie is going to end, but really, it’s a lot of fun to find your way to the moment when Margaret (Sandra) and Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) finally get together.

Margaret Tate is a mean, mean boss, especially taking for granted her hard working, long time, loyal assistant, Andrew Paxton. The predicament is when she, being Canadian and ignoring her call to renew her visa, is threatened with deportation. Her solution? Marry that hard working, long time, taken for granted assistant, and of course, against his will. (Let’s forget that this movie was called “Green Card” when it was released in 1990 and starred Gerard Depardieu and Andie McDowell… because “The Proposal” is a far better film, it gets a pass)

So they travel to Alaska together, to his hometown to meet his family, and… well, hilarity ensues. The supporting characters add much to the fun, including Ramone, who makes a half-dozen appearances, all hilarious, throughout the film. Betty White is the grandma, and has her own issues which are quite funny, Mr. Incredible Coach and Mary Steenburgen are the parents, doing an ample job and worth mentioning is Malin Akerman, who plays Andrew’s former flame Gertrude (really? Gertrude? They couldn’t come up with a better name for that?) I only mention Gertrude because while really good looking here, she wasn’t anywhere near this cute as Silk Spectre II in “Watchmen”.

There is a notable scene, heralded in the media and with critics, where both main characters are naked, accidentally running into each other, he covered in sweat after hard work, she wet after just getting out of the shower. All naughty bits are covered and unseen, though, and the scene is very funny.



Ryan Reynolds is growing on me. He rose to fame as the title character in “Van Wilder”, and has been seen in films like “Waiting”, “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle”, “Adventureland” and most recently, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”. The Lovely Steph Leann dug him in "Definately, Maybe", though I was partial to Isla Fisher myself.

This is a nice comeback of sorts for Sandra Bullock, having been a bright spot, perhaps the only bright spot, in films like “Premonition”, “The Lake House” and “Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous”. She’s got another romantic comedy coming up this fall, with Bradley Cooper, called “All About Steve”, and after seeing the trailer for it today… well, I’m looking forward to it.
By the way, Ryan Reynolds is actually from Vancouver, and Sandra Bullock hails from Virginia.

Sidebar... I wrote this review about a day or so after I saw the film, but as I was on blogging hiatus, I chose to sit on it and not post it until later. I think this is what I'm going to do for movie reviews... either write them, then wait a few days to post, or wait a few days to write and post, because after a few days, I have a chance to think about how much I liked (or dis-) the movie. I mention this, because after two weeks of thinking about, I really, really liked this film.

Second Sidebar… as The Lovely Steph Leann and I were walking in, towards Theater 14, we were behind these two older ladies just taking their sweet time… which was fine, really. As they (and we) walked past the big cardboard standee poster of “G-Force”. Old Lady 1 turned to Old Lady 2 and asked, “Have you seen that movie yet?” Old Lady 2 said, “No, not yet. But I saw the previews for that, and that movie just looks so funny!” Old Lady 1 replied, “Oh, I know! I think that’s going to be so good!”

Mind you, this is a movie about a crack team of espionage agents infiltrating a madman trying to take over the world. Oh, and the team is talking guinea pigs. I wanted to reach up and thump the ears of both of those old ladies and say, “It’s cause of people like you that my company has this crap, Beverly Hills Chihuahua and 108 versions of Air Bud on their shelves! Because people like you keep going to see that crap!”

Just sayin’.

The Dave100... #89. Jerry Maguire

Jerry Maguire, 1996, Rated R. Stars a pre-Scientology-crazy Tom Cruise, Renee Zellweger in her breakout role, Cuba Gooding Jr before he started mailing in all his roles, Mrs. John Travolta, and the underappreciated Bonnie Hunt.

Plot... Jerry Maguire works for a sports agency, gets a conscience, and decides to write a memo addressing the dishonesty in the business. Though lauded, he's fired, with the firing carried out by former protege-turned-rival Bob Sugar. Racing back to the office, Jerry has decided to branch out on his own, and gets stuck on a lengthy conversation with Rod Tidwell, lengthy enough that Bob Sugar is able to grab all of Jerry's clients while Jerry is left only with Rod.

As he leaves, he asks who is daring enough to come with him, and only Dorothy Boyd stands up. While Jerry and Rod have a rocky relationship, as Rod proves hard to please, he and Dorothy eventually get close enough to fall for each other, though Jerry is more enamored with Dorothy's son, Ray.


"I LOOOOOVE BLACK PEOPLE!!!! YOUR MY MOFO!!!!"

Anyway, along the way you hear stuff like "Show me the money!", "I love black people!", "Quan" and of course, the final scene, which brings us, "You had me at hello". And the award winning actor Jonathan Lipnicki, who plays Ray, says, "Bees and dogs smell fear."

Why Its In the Dave100... I mean, I don't know. Should it be? Is it a sports movie? It can be. Is its a chick flick? It qualifies. I just genuinely love this movie. The performances are great all around, even Jerry O'Connell turns up pretty good as Brian "Cush" Cushman, a hot draft prospect that Jerry Maguire is trying to woo. Its just such a fun film, even though its been ruined by the repeated overkill of the now-famous catch phrases. Oh, and beware of "that scene" between Tom Cruise and Kelly Preston. You know it.

Tom Cruise had a string of hits back in the day, back when he made sense, wasn't hopping off couches and wasn't leaving the incomparable Nicole Kidman for the likes of butt-ugly Penelope Cruz. And Renee in this flick is just so darn cute. Seriously. It was also a good time for Cuba Gooding Jr (who won an Oscar for this film, and had a hilarious acceptance speech), before he started make crap, more crap, and even more crap (this link takes you to a film that landed on the Bottom 100 movies of all time on IMDB). And of course, I love Bonnie Hunt.

Oh, and Bruce Springsteen's song, "Secret Garden", is immaculate.


"Secret Garden" by Bruce Springsteen, intersparsed with some Jerry Maguire. See the video here too. This song was my Amy Wible song for a long time... until, of course, The Lovely Steph Leann came around.

Random Trivia... saw this movie on Christmas Day in 1996 with Heather Howell. Also, did you know that Tom Hanks was offered the lead role, and turned it down? John Travolta was also pursued, but really, this is one of those type flicks that was cast perfectly.