Just Another Sad Love Song Part 1

"Its just another sad love song, racking my brain like crazy. Guess I'm all torn up, be it fast or slow, it doesn't let go or shake me... and its all because of you..." -- Another Sad Love Song by Toni Braxton

Some years ago, say, 2006, I did a post called "Sad Songs Say So Much", where I listed what I felt was the 20th Saddest Songs Ever.


Well, here we are, six full years later, and its time to revisit. So for this Valentine's Day, I wanted to give you my new list, this time, The 25 Saddest Songs Ever... many of the songs are the same, just lower or higher, but since in six years I've gained several new readers, this is new to you!

Broken into 2 parts for length and time (I've got just long enough to finish this before The Lovely Steph Leann wakes up, meaning Campbell wakes up on the couch and I've got to feed him. And her), here is numbers 25 through 11... the top ten will be listed in a day or so. I promise.

Note... these are all about heartbreak. There are many songs out there about abuse and suicide and death and tragedy and destruction and such, but I centered only on the loneliness, despair and ache that can only be felt with a broken heart... except for one song, which will be explained when we get there. So no "Its So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday" by Boyz II Men, a song about death.

Honorable Mentions... "She's Always a Woman" by Billy Joel (too much like #23)... "Unbreak My Heart" by Toni Braxton (overplayed to the point that its lost its punch)... "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins (too easy)... "Superstar" by The Carpenters (too stalkery).... and "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss (too drunky)


(25) "Somebody Lied" by Ricky Van Shelton 
"Hello? Yeah, this is me. Lord, its been a long, long time. I know this ain't no social call, so go ahead, get it off your mind. You heard what? Well, it ain't true. I was here most all last night... I got over you the day you left, could it be somebody lied?"

Talk about a gut wrenching song... this dude gets a call from his ex-chick, and his ex is like, "Dude, I heard you been asking about me too all our friends... what the crap, yo?" and he is like, "Naw, that ain't me. Somebody been lying to you." And then she's like, "Man, I been done heard you been like, crying and all to all of our peeps, yo." And then, he is like, "Naw, I ain't shed a tear in years. And that I talked about you? That is crazy... I ain't even noticed you be gone, yo."

Then, he asked, "... so, if they were true, what would it matter to you, would it change the way you feel? If the rumors were right, would you be here tonight, to help this old heart heal? But, don't worry, it wasn't me. Just someone who's world was torn in two. Someone who looks alot like me, and loves someone like you."

(24) "I'll Be There For You" by Bon Jovi
"... I guess this time your really leaving... I heard your suitcase say goodbye... and as my broken heart lies bleeding... you said true love is suicide..."

Ouch. Jon Bon Jovi's growly voice kicks in after a memorable twangy opening, then spends the next five minutes or so simply begging and pleading for her not to leave.

But she ain't having it. She says she's cried a thousand rivers, but now she's swimming for the shore.

(23) "Secret Garden" by Bruce Springsteen, the "Jerry Maguire" version
"...I was just about to tell you... that I love him. I DO! I love him! And I don't care what you think, I love him for the man he wants to be, and I love him for the man... he almost is! I love him, Laurel. I love him. I love him."

That line is spoken in the depths of the movie "Jerry Maguire", one of my 100 favorite films of all time, and also at the very beginning of this version of the highly underrated Bruce Springsteen song. Its a song all about a chick who is distant, who is secretive, who lets her man in only so far, then pushes him away... while the dude himself yearns to be closer to her. "She lead you down a path, there'll be tenderness in the air. She'll let you in just far enough so you'll know she's really there..." Sad, sad.


I frakkin' love this movie. No joke.

(22) "Don't Close Your Eyes" by Keith Whitley
"...don't close your eyes, let it be me, don't pretend its him in some fantasy. Darling, just once let yesterday go, you'll find more love than you'll ever know. Just hold me tight, when you love me tonight, and don't close your eyes..."

So, not only does this guy have to suffer through having a chick, being in love with this chick even, that he knows has a previous man... but he has to suffer with the knowledge that even though she is with him, she's thinking of her previous man! What!? What what?! So rather than telling her to hit the bricks, he actually just begs her to just stay awake, because if she closes her eyes or goes to sleep, she'll think of her old boo. Sad. And even worse, I've been there.

And its even worse that Keith Whitley ended up drinking himself to death a few years after this monumental hit.

(21) "With or Without You" by U2
"see the stone set in your eyes, feel the thorn twist in your side, and I wait... for you."

I echo my sentiments from six years ago... You chicks are evil. Seriously.

(20) "Separate Lives" by Phil Collins and Marilyn Martin
"Oh, its so typical, love leads to isolation. So you build that wall (build that wall), you build that wall, and you make it stronger... you have no right to ask me how I feel. You have no right to speak to me so kind. Someday I might find myself looking in your eyes. But for now, we'll go on living... separate lives."

Whew. Written by Stephen Bishop (a soft pop guy from the early 80s, had a hit with "It Might Be You" from "Tootsie"), he dated Karen Allen, who we know as the love interest from the first and fourth Indiana Jones movies. They had a bad breakup, and Bishop wrote this song after actually calling her from his hotel room--which is in the song. Ouch.

(19) "I'll Never Get Over You (getting over me)" by Expose
"...I try to smile so the hurt won’t show… tell everybody I was glad to see you go…"

Talk about someone who can’t let go! Here’s a chick who is just watching her man go about and have a good time, she has watched him not only move on, but also forget about her. From 1992, its Expose’s last hit on the charts.

By the way, Expose falls under that Pat Benetar category of "Artists that you never realized had so many songs that you like"... I mean, Expose was a pretty big deal in the late, late 80s and early 90s... "Point of No Return" and "When I Looked at Him" and of course, their biggest hit of all, "Seasons Change", which is an awesome song.

FYI... I played this song as I broke up with a girl my freshman year in college.  What a douchey move, I admit it.  Sorry.  I was 18.    


(18) "Can't Let Go" by Mariah Carey
"...you even realize the sorrow I have inside, every day of my life? Do you know they way it feels when all you have just died? I try and try to deny the way that I feel but still you remain on my mind…"

From the 1991 album “Emotions”, here’s Mariah Carey’s ode to losing someone… not just losing someone, nay nay! Losing someone and not being able to move forward! Losing them and watching them be with someone else! Now this song was Mariah’s 6th single ever, but the first to not make it to #1, as it stalled at #2. The song that kept it from #1? All for Love by Color Me Badd.

(17) "I Can't Stay Away from You" by Gloria Estefan & The Miami Sound Machine
"...and I don’t wanna be your second choice, don’t wanna be just your friend… you keep telling me that you’re not in love, you wanna throw it all away…"

From 1988, the album Let It Loose, its Gloria Estefan AND the Miami Sound Machine. This one is heartbreaking because not only does she lose her boo… not only is he moving on… not only can she not move on… but she can’t stay away from him. She can’t stop thinking about him. She wants him to call her up and say “I need you too”. Its just so… so painful.

Is there a better band name that "The Miami Sound Machine"? That's an awesome name. I think if the Miami Dolphins ever had a good defense, they could call it "The Miami Pound Machine". Wait... that sounds wrong. Never mind.

(16) "Nothing Broken But My Heart" by Celine Dion
"If you ask me how I'm doing, I'm fine. All I needed was a little time.... so if you think I still need you, baby, I really don't know why... but if you see me, nothing's broken... nothing's broken but my heart."

Here's my absolute favorite song by Celine Dion… from her self titled album released in 1992, it’s a tune about a bad breakup. She herself has moved on, just like her man. She’s gotten herself together, she’s started a new life and all that rot. But still… she finds herself reflecting and says, “you know, you might think my world has ended, but really… nothing is wrong. Except for the fact I have a broken heart.” And there it is.

Dig the Vh1 logo in the corner. Old school.

(15) "No One Is to Blame" by Howard Jones
"You can see the summit, but you can't reach it. The last piece of the puzzle, but you just can't make it fit... doctor says your cured, but you still feel the pain, aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain..."

Its all about being attracted to someone you just can't be with. The entire song is filled with contradictions--you can be the fastest runner, but you aren't allowed to win. You can dip your foot in the pool, but you can't have a swim. And you want her, and she wants you... but it just ain't happening. And guess what? No one, no one, no one ever, is to blame.

Howard Jones got the idea for this song in 1985 on a trip to San Francisco, when a friend asked him about the women in San Fran. When Jones said he found them great, the friend said, "Well, you can look at the menu, but you don't have to eat." And it was a song after that.

(14) "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
Oh Whitney. Oh, dear, sweet Whitney. I'm not ready to discuss this yet--I truly do feel, no joke intended, that a piece of my music loving soul passed.

Moving on.

(13) "There's a Light In Your Eyes" by The Blessid Union of Souls
"It's been a while since I've seen you, how have you been? Did you get my letter I wrote you that I did not send?"

To me, a quite simplistic, yet painful line. Its about a guy who is fondly remember his woman, the one who left. Perhaps she left because he was a jerkweed, perhaps she left because she knew she herself was a jerkweedette, or perhaps its over because... well, sometimes things just don't work out. Sometimes relationships just don't happen. "I've been thinking and here's what I've come to conclude... sometimes the distance is more than two people can use..." And the dude singing has this great melodic voice that just fits perfectly. Perfectly painful. There's a light in your eyes, did you leave that light burning for me?

(12) "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers
"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. Its not warm when she's away. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, she's always gone too long, anytime she goes away."

Such a simple song. Maybe two verse, an undefined chorus and 25 uses of the words "I know". Yet, Bill Withers in his soulful smoothness sings the pain of the heart, the missing of the woman he loves. Because when she's gone, its dark everywhere, especially in the heart. One of my 25 favorite songs of all time.

(11) "I'll Be Okay" by Amanda Marshall
"...I want you to be happy, you're my best friend. But its so hard to let you go now, and all that could have been. I'll always have the memories, she'll always have you. Fate has a way of changing when you don't want it to."

From the soundtrack of a pretty good movie, that being "My Best Friend's Wedding", this is a little known artist named Amanda Marshall... like many artists, big in Canada, not well known here. Its all about the fun of watching your best friend, the one you are in love with, the love of your life, not only love, but end up with someone else. I only know of one other song by Amanda Marshall, that being "Birmingham", but this one is the one to remember.

Next... The Police, sort of.  Gloria returns.  A Broadway staple.  A reverend.  The Top Ten Saddest Songs Ever.

100 Greatest Songs of the 2000s (Part II)

(Preface... this was written on Monday and Tuesday of this week.  Wednesday, the Lovely Steph Leann was admitted to the hospital for labor pains, essentially, and I didn't get to finish tweaking this for posting.  So here I am on the 6th floor of the Brookwood Women's Center, the new one, in a quiet room, and I wanted to finish it up... so here ya go...)

And we continue with our countdown... first, a few reminders--this is a five part Vh1 show, I've already covered Hours 1, 2 and 3 (which you can read here), I've got Hours 4 and 5 coming up below, and just so you know, I'm seeing each song on the countdown for the first time... meaning, I haven't seen the list and know what's coming.  I write it as I watch it appear.

Let's keep moving, with the 40th greatest song of the 2000s decade, according to Vh1...

40... "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" by Fall Out Boy (2005)
I cannot tell you for certain that I could name any song by Fall Out Boy... and I keep thinking of "Number One With a Bullet"... wait?  That's this song?  (the song is playing on the tv and they just got to the "blah blah something merry go round something number one with a bullet")

So this song is not called "Number One With a Bullet"?  Its called "Sugar, We're Goin' Down"?  Perhaps I should have had my late teens in this decade, and I'd probably know more.   Personally, I like "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger.

Incidentally, one of the guys in this band, Pete Wintz, is the host of this entire countdown show.  And he's terrible with a bullet.  His hosting career is going down, down... see what I did there?  Good one, d$!

39... "Chasing Pavement" by ADELE (2008)
Man this chick can sing.  Actually, I didn't discover her until "Rollin' in the Deep", which freakin' rules.  And ADELE is amazing, because she has this special quality that not alot of pop stars have nowadays... talent and a good voice.

But though I know what a pavement is, I am unclear as to why you'd need to chase it.  It doesn't move much.

38... "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus (2009)
Um...

Maybe you should listen to the song about 114 times, and maybe that's the breaking point.  That's the threshold.  After that, you like it.  

Uh...

Did you know that this song had a resurgence on the charts when Osama bin Laden was killed?  To me, that's the final insult... you are this powerful leader for decades, causing fear, death and destruction in your reign, and your death is celebrated by your enemies with a Miley Cyrus song.  Ha!

Me?  Oh, well, I, uh... I hate this song.

No, I don't know all the words, why would you ask such a foolish question as that?  You silly.

Um. No, I don't put my hands up when they are singing my song, and the butterflies fly away (butterfly fly away).  Uh, no, I don't have the video.  Why would... check my iPod?  No, that's private.  Why would you want to do that?  

I think I just saw Chris Hanson, so let's move on.

37...   "Oops!... I Did It Again" by Britney Spears (2000)

"Baby, One More Time..."?  Absolutely.  "Sometimes"?  Heck ya.  "You Drive Me Crazy"?  Sure, why not?

"Oops!... I Did It Again"?  No way.  Terrible song.  And was a terrible entry in the Christina vs. Britney battle.  I mean, who likes crappy, catchy pop junk like this?  (why are you scrolling up to re-read #38?  Come back)

36... "Bye Bye Bye" by *NSync (2000)

Dude.  This song flippin' rules.  I ain't even joking.

Get past the boy-band part of it, and JT, Joey, Chris, Kirkpatrick and NancyLancey could own it.  And this song was awesome.  As a guy, liking the Backstreet Boys was straight-cred destruction.  However, liking *NSync was just normal, cause we all like them.

However, my affection for this song may not be so much the song itself but the redux done a few years back by the cover band *NStynk...

35... "Daughters" by John Mayer (2004)

Fathers, be good to your daughters, don't let them near John Mayer.  

I like John well enough--I really dig "Gravity", "Clarity", "No Such Thing" and of course, "Your Body Is a Wonderland"--but this song not so much.  I think its about ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

34... "All For You" by Janet Jackson (2001)

Yeah!  Love me some Janet!  At least, Janet before the infamous Wardrobe Malfunction at the Super Bowl.  I think she's more of a punchline now, but back in the day, especially back in the 90s, you had "Rhythm Nation" and "Miss You Much" and "Control" and one of my all time favorite songs ever, "Love Will Never Do (without you)"... she's fantastic.

And this song is pretty good too.  A little dirty, though, so don't really study the lyrics.  Have you ever read the lyrics to "If"?  Great song, sounds awesome, and it frustrated me that she sang so fast, I couldn't understand them... so I looked them up.  Holy crap.  I blushed.  I mean, its like, down and freaky.  Wow.  So now you know.

33... "Hurt" by Johnny Cash (2003)

Wow.  So, I feel like cracking wise about this particular song, and Johnny Cash at the time he sang it would be akin to making fun of the opening battle scene of "Saving Private Ryan", or the ending to "Schindler's List" or anything serious and depressing like that.  Not that "Hurt" compares historically to those particular times in our nation's history itself, but you get my drift.

So I won't.



But what I will say is this:  This song, this video, is a pre-death eulogy.  Cash had a successful, but at the same time hard and even horrible, life.  He did this song after his wife, June Carter, had passed, and he passed not too long after.  The video is crushing.  Film clips of a younger him, celebrating, not knowing that some of his life would be so wasted, clips of June Carter and their relationships, so happy yet so stormy and rocky... and the lyrics are so, so moving.  This is truly one of the few songs out there that I would classify as "painful" on so many levels, and I don't even have a connection to the song, other than I have a soul and am not dead inside.

Hurricane Rhett would make fun of this entire piece.

32... "This Love" by Maroon 5 (2004)
I really, really wanted to not like this song.  I wanted to hate this song, and as a result, hate Maroon 5... but I can't help it.  This song is kinda fun, kinda catchy.   And Maroon 5's music is actually not bad.  It's not revolutionary, but it does stick with you.

Sing it with me... This... love... has... taken its toll on me... she says goodbye too many times before (oh-whoa-oh)... everybody!

And Adam Levine gets some major play... at least in his videos.

31... "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse (2007)
Okay... "Amy shoulda gone to Rehab!  Ha!"  There, I said it.  Oh, and, "We tried to make her to go to rehab, and she said No!  No!  No!"  See what I did there?  I kill me.

30... "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani (2005)
Fine.  I'll admit it.  I love the dang fool out of this song.  Its addicting, Gwen is awesome, its stupid, its catchy, its poppy, its ridiculous and it forever changing our mental processes when it comes to fruit.

What with the number one song be, Gwen?  Ah!  You are keeping
yourself from blurting out the answer!  Good job, girly!

Much like any mention of a chick named Stacy, you'll think about how going on her mom has it, a mention many times of a banana will elicit this thought:  Its bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Were I a chick, a cheerleader, gay or all three, this might be my anthem.  I frikkin' love this song.

Still unclear as to what a "Hollaback" girl is, and what makes one "hollaback".  Not sure.

29... "Best of You" by The Foo Fighters (2005)
I guess while I was making time with Gwen and hollering back, I missed this entirely, because I've never even heard this song, like ever in my life.

Don't get me wrong, I dig the Foo Fighters, and "Learn to Fly" is in my Top 100 all time, I think Dave Grohl is awesome, and hearing a snippet of this song, I like it too... but I've never heard  it.  Maybe I should have listened to 107.7 the X more often.

28... "Music" by Madonna (2000)
This song sucks.  So does Madonna any time after 1998.

That is all.

27... "Yeah!" by Usher, feat. Lil Jon and Ludacris (2004)
Another ridiculous, stupid, moronic song with no redeeming value that I just simply love and sometimes will blast out of the Red Robin, making sure my speaker colored thumping lights are thumping like a twitchy ninja, when it comes on.

YEEAAAHH!!  OOOHKAAYYYY!!!

Kick that, rewind it back, Lil Jon, Luda and Ur-shure got the beat
that make yo' booty go boom!

Gotta tell ya, Usher... underrated talent.  I know, I know, he's sold a bajillion records, though like Nickleback CDs, I don't know anyone that owns one... but Usher doesn't get a ton of mentions when discussing great voices.  He's good.  He's really good.

Then you toss in the stupid stoopid Lil Jon, who says, "The chorus of this was easy.  You just say Yeah... then Yeah... then Yeah... and Yeah again.  We kind of ad-libbed it."   And finally, Ludacris in a cleaner form, at least in his lyrics, and you've got a legendary dance hit.

26... "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes (2003)
Yes, I have heard of them.  I just feel like I'm not hipster enough to like The White Stripes.  She & Him, sure.  Ingrid Michelson, yep.  The White Stripes?   I've not only not heard this song, I've never heard OF this song.

25... "Hot In Herre" by Nelly (2002)
This made me laugh loud.  Serriously.  I've trried to tell my darrling wife, "hey, its getting hot in herre, so take off all yourr clothes", and in the real worrld, it doesn't worrk.  Sorrry.

Let's be rreal herre... I didn't go to a ton of parrties in college, and even less in high school, so I'm not what you'd call, "A Parrty Going Experrt", but I can tell you this from my limited experrience... Chicks that tell you "I am gettin' so hot I'm gonna take my clothes off" are few and farr between.  But when you do stumble acrross such a chick, you might be tempted to think, "Awesome!", and perrhaps at 19, I would have thought that.  Howeverr, I'm old enough to know now that if such a statement is spoken by said chick, its a good bet she has done this beforre, lest you think you arre the test case for this scenarrio.  And in thinking she's prrobably done this beforre, its not a long leap to assume she prrobably has an STD.  And although chicks with venerreal diseases arre still people too, that would be someone you want to be fully clothed.  I'm just sayin'.

24... "Get Ur Freak On" by Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott (2001)
As much as a I hate this song, its a good reminder that I am a total music hypocrite, and even snob.  As much as I dig on "When the taxi man turned on the radio and a Jay-Z song was on... a Jay-Z song was on... a Jay-Z song was on!" and goofy lyrics as such, sometimes the lyrics are just too stupid for even me.  And when they are forced together to make a rap, its bad.

Like this song.  Man, do I hate this song.  I hate everything about it.  I hate that beat.  I hate that she hocks a loogie in the middle of it.  I hate that in the video, she spits in a man's mouth... "In yo' face... open yo' mouth, get you a tays..."  I hate the fact it uses "Ur" for "Your".  I hate the video.  I hate the fact I heard this song 3813 times in 2001.

Let's move on before I throw this nearby Katy Perry CD through the window.  I wish I were kidding.

23... "Get the Party Started" by P!nk (2001)
I can't say I hate this song.  I really can't say I like it, either.  I actually could just take it or leave it.  I'm not sure that apathy is what P!nk was going for.

However, I am considering changing my name to dav!d.  Its a thought.

22... "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys
Okay, I have several things to say about this song, but first, I must tell you that I do really like this song.  It think its a career-defining masterpiece.  And I did use the word "Masterpiece" because that's how its performed.

However comma

Have you ever heard the expression "Could sing the phone book and still sound amazing"?  That's what this song reminds me of.  Allow me to put on my lyrical snobbery hat again, and just tell you, I'm bothered by how simple some of the lyrics are.  "Sometimes I love you, sometimes you make me feel blue"?  Really?  "I never felt this way.  How do you give me so pleasure, and cause me so much pain"?  Each verse is only, like, two lines!  Am I being overly dramatic in wanting a little deeper meaning in my lyrics?

No matter... Keys is amazing in this tune.  You know what, forget I said all that.  I love this song.

21... "99 Problems" by Jay-Z (2003)
If you having girl problems, I feel bad for you soon, I got 99 problems but a (crude term for someone of the female persuasion) ain't one...

How is this okay?  Isn't this song a little misogynistic?  Am I being overly critical here?

20... "Toxic" by Britney Spears (2003)
Ugh.

Really?  Really?  10,000 songs in a decade and this is the 20th best of all?  Seriously?

19... "Bootylicious" by Destiny's Child (2001)
Sigh.

And they just keep getting better, don't they?  Okay, so this song is fun, and by far better than "Toxic" will ever be, and for the record, I pick Kelly Rowland over Beyonce any day, but I can't put this in my own personal Top 20.  Or 50.  Or 100.  "I don't think you ready for this jelly..." is a fun line, though.

By the way, because of this song, the term "Bootylicious" was added to the dictionary.  This is why the terrorists hate us.

18... "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera (2002)
Two things:
First... it is a good song.  Yes, we've heard it a thousand times, and in 2002, that was per day, but when it comes down to it, it really is a great tune.

Second... I'm happy she beat out "Toxic".  Unlike Britney, Christina has a great non-studio produced voice.  Love it.

(sidebar... I'm reviewing this part of the list with The Lovely Steph Leann, getting any feedback, and with Maroon 5, she simply said, "Oh, I like that song"... but with this one, the floodgates freakin' opened... "Oh my gosh, I hate that Aguilera song!  I hate it!  Hate it!"  She then proceeds to sing it in a horrible mocking screeching tone, accenting the word "beautiful" in a terrible pitch.  She then ends her tirade by saying, "Hate it."  Don't hold back, Steph, tell me how you feel.)

17... "Clocks" by Coldplay (2002)
Who doesn't like this song?  Seriously?  And if they do a 100 Greatest Songs Intros of Like, Ever, you'd have to see this song up there somewhere.

But let's be clear--I, you, maybe even them, have no idea what this song even means.

16... "Single Ladies (put a ring on it)" by Beyonce (2008)
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies! 

(is it in your head yet?  yes?  mission accomplished)

Excuse me Taylor, Imma letcha finish... but Beyonce had one ada greatest videos of all time!

(and yes, I do like this song.  its fun.  even the lovely steph leann likes it)

15... "Beautiful Day" by U2

Dear Bono,

That's enough.  You've had your run, and its been a great one.  U2 is one of the biggest bands in the history of the world, and we all know it.  Your music will live forever, and transcends generations.  Your album "The Joshua Tree" is immaculate.  Songs like "With or Without You" and "Streets Have No Name" and "New Years Day" and even later stuff, lesser known stuff like "Mysterious Ways", is music I am excited to let Campbell Isaiah and/or Lorelei Addison experience. [which we now know as Campbell Isaiah only]

But Bono, its 2011. Apparently you put an album out recently, and no one even knew about it.  Its time to step away.  Its time for you to free up more time for Darfur or the rain forests or Ensley or whatever, and allow Larry Mullen and Adam Clayton time to do more music for Mission Impossible movies, and to say, "Hey, The Edge, its time for us to part."  Let it go, Bono.  Its time

Signed, 

d$

Not sure if this is a performance of "Crazy", and I'm
not sure if that is Danger Mouse in the trooper outfit,
but either way, the picture is cool. 

14..."Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley

Holy crap this song is awesome.  Like, every beat, every second, every minute detail, every word of this song rulz to the maximum allowance of ruling.  "Crazy" is fan-flippin-tastic.

Were I to give my own 2000s list, its easy to put this Top 25, maybe even Top 15.  Cee-Lo Green has this unusual, cool as grits voice, and Danger Mouse is just cool for having the nickname Danger Mouse.  

13... "American Idiot" by Green Day (2004)

I knew this song would come up, and I was dreading it, mostly because I hate it when I throw up in my mouth. And I just did.

These are the same guys that had an album called "Dookie", and sang about going to a shrink and being told that lack of sex will bring you down.  Yes, people can, and do, change.  I get that.  But really, BJ Armstrong, can you just sing your fun songs and quit telling me that liberals are awesome and conservatives suck?  

Sorry... just threw up in my mouth again.

12... "I Gotta Feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas (2009)

The first time I ever heard this song, all I could think of, "This is going to be a party anthem and/or a sports anthem and/or a celebration anthem for ages to come."  When B-list celebrities in 1981 were sitting around and discussing the best songs of the decade just completed, I'm sure that someone was saying about "Rock and Roll Part 1" by Gary Glitter the same things they are saying about "I Gotta Feeling"... "Party song..." and "This song is the ultimate going-out song" and "I gotta feeling..." and such.

Personally, I'm a little flabbergasted that "My Humps" hasn't shown up yet... however, we have 11 more to go...

11... "Umbrella" by Rihanna feat. Jay-Z

My main issue with Rihanna?  How her name is spelled.  When I hear her name, I automatically think Fleetwood Mac's classic "Rhiannon", which was an outside consideration for my kid's name (thought I never shared it with The Lovely Steph Leann.  Probably a good thing.)

She's very talented, though through no fault of her own, its a little disconcerting that all of her songs keep breaking all sorts of sales and chart records, and I'm bothered by this.  Why should Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" fall to whatever getting-it-on tune Rihanna is blathering out?

That said, this is an addicting song.  You know, Umbrella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey...

If this doesn't get stuck in your head, I have this to say:

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

Your welcome.

AND NOW, Vh1's TOP TEN OF the 2000s...

10... "In Da Club" by 50 Cent (2003)

Really?  Like, really?  

9... "We Belong Together" by Post-Skank Mariah Carey (2005)

I have often referenced my inclination to Pre-Skank Mariah and how awesome she was over Post-Skank Mariah, so I won't go into it.. but I will say that everything after 1997's "Butterfly" album is pure skank.  Notably, the song "Honey" is where it all took a turn for the ho.

This song brought her back around again for me.  While not my favorite Mariah (that's a tie between "Vision of Love", "Dreamlover" and "Always Be My Baby"... or maybe "Fantasy"), its vintage.  Its a throwback, yet just hip enough to be in the 2000s.  Ah, pre-skank Mariah, may we see you again soon.  

8... "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys (2009)

This is a quite a love letter to a city... a New York City Anthem, and I'm not sure why the city itself hasn't adopted it as its City Anthem.  

And Alicia Keys is awesome, as always.  I can listen to this song over and over and over, and have.  Great, great song.

7... "Sexyback" by Justin Timberlake (2006)

Oh no he di'nt!  Oh no he di'nt!  This song is my jam, y'all, MY Jam!

Okay, not really... but I can see a few of these songs listed on this countdown not necessarily for their artistic merit, but more for their importance, and this song was a monster.  Timberlake had broken free from *NSync, and was on his way to superstardom, had some huge hits, and then a few years later, released "Future.Love.Sex.Sounds", and this was the lead-off single.  And a catch phrase was born.

Its not even so much that "Sexyback" is cool, it is more that Justin Timberlake singing this is cool.  And how many people do you know have used the term "I'm bringing sexy back..."

6... "Gold Digger" by Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx (2005)

Dude. This song.  Like, this song.  Can't help it.  For all the punk that Kanye is and can be, this song is fantastic.  

Here's the scene... 2005 Video Music Awards.. I was watching (don't ask me why) and out of the floor of the stage rises one Kanye West and one Jamie Foxx, looking all cool and sleek, posed and frozen.  Suddenly, Jamie starts into a "She takes my money... when I'm in need..." then the beat kicks in, and I watch one of the coolest live performances I've ever, ever seen.   And its this song.

I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger... she ain't messin' with no broke (broke)

Do me a favor... holla "We want pre-nupt!" (we want pre-nupt!)

I love love love this song

5... "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson (2004)

Everyone likes this song.  Some people love it, some only like it a little, but to some degree, everyone likes this song.  How can you not?  Its infectious like the basement of the CDC...

The Lovely Steph Leann has joined the room for the Top Ten, and she's over on the couch bobbing her head, watching with total interest.  And when this song comes on the radio, I sing along.  And so do you.  Kelly might never have been better before or since... though I do enjoy "Behind These Hazel Eyes".  Love me some Kelly Clarkson.

4... "Lose Yourself" by Eminem (2002)

We've now hit the first song on this entire countdown that I could make an argument for being the #1 song of the decade.  This song... amazing.  And he even won a stinkin' Oscar for it.

Now, my favorite Eminem song is quite simply "Without Me", a totally hilarious, yet quite incredible rhyme... but "Lose Yourself" might be his actual best work.  I saw "8 Mile" not too long ago, and its not that bad.  

And when Em sings, you believe it.  He's blowing the mic away, he's jamming, he's just rapping and singing with so much ferocity, and you really get into it.  And if you knew the words, you'd sing along, though you probably don't know the words.  

3... "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga (2008)

Sigh.

I have come to accept that Gaga is here to stay.  Perhaps in 1982, fuddy duddies like me were saying the same thing about that new Madonna chick that just came up on the scene... and now, here's Lady Gaga.  

Okay, she's got a great voice.  And "Bad Romance"?  I'm a sucker for it.  And yes, this song is pretty good.  It's catchy.  But #3?  Really?  

2... "Hey Ya!" by Outkast (2003)

Now... if I had to list a "Greatest Songs of the 2000s" and "My Favorite Songs of the 2000s", this song would be #1 on the former list, #2 on the latter list.  "Hey Ya!" is one of the best songs ever performed, crossing all genres of awesome.  Even The Lovely Steph Leann likes it, and she don't go for the blasted rappin' crappin music!  She says, "Its not rap, its pop.  I like pop."

The video?  Best of the 2000s, in my Top Five All Time.  There are EIGHT different Andre 3000s on the stage, and he even manages to slip in a few scandalous lines towards the end (don't read the lyrics if you don't want to know, though its nothing too terrible) but the song is so fun, you don't even notice.

It shows a Beatle-type frenzied performance by the band Andre 3000 and The Love Below, consisting of eight members:  Possum Jenkins on bass... Johnny Vulture on guitar (yes ladies, he's still single)... Benjamin Andre (on keyboard)... Dookie on drums... Andre (ice cold) 3000 on lead vocals... and, of course, The Love Haters on backup vocals.  And all are played by Andre 3000 himself.

And yes, the song asks you to shake it (you can determine what "it" is) like a Polaroid Picture, and Polaroid had to come out with a statement that said, "Hey ya, you used to coulda shaken our pics, but don't do it anymore, you don't have to."

I love this song, man. I really do.

And finally...

1... "Crazy in Love" by Beyonce feat. Jay-Z (2003)

This song?  Beyonce singing along with her babydaddy?

Uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh

No no no

I'm conflicted... while I don't think it should have been the top song of the entire decade, I can't make much of an argument against it--heck, I sing this song sometimes at work.

As Vh1 shows clips from the video, I can only surmise one observation... well, two.  First, she jiggles alot.  And honestly, I'm not sure I'm ready for that jelly.  Secondly, there must have been a heckuva lot of double-sided tape used in those particular outfits.

Great song.  Great choice.    

And there you go.  The Top 100 Songs of the 2000s... agree, disagree, its not my list, its Vh1.  What's my list?  That's a great question... perhaps soon...

Crystal Sings Her (bower)Sox Off... (Idol IX Finale 1)

Well, here we are.  Someone asked me earlier today if I was going to watch the Idol finale shows, and I sighed and said yes.  They asked me who I thought would win, and I sighed again and said, "I dunno.  Not sure if I care."  They asked me why I would still watch, and I sighed again and said, "Because I've invested far too much time into this season to not finish it."

And so it goes.

THIS IS AMERICAN

IDOL

It's Crystal vs. Lee.  Don't get me wrong... I think they are both talented.  Both have great voices, both have had numerous stand-out performances, and truly, through this season, America made the right decision when figuring out who to put in the Top Two.  That being said, neither are really all that... well, super.  Idol is looking for a superstar, and both are just... well, talented singers that are getting a bigger chance than most. 

And in a case of bad choreography, Lee ambles down the aisle, while Crystal starts off in a sprint, the mic booms like she drops something, she runs back and faces the camera looking confused.   Seacrest tells us they will be singing a song from this season, one as chosen by Idol producer Simon Fuller and finally, one that they'll be releasing if they win.

Lee DeWyze chooses "The Boxer" to sing as his song already performed this year.   Not bad, though it just sounds like what he did a few weeks ago during "Inspirational Week".   Randy the Dawg liked it, Ellen DeG says, "I couldn't be prouder if I birthed you myself".  Kara the New Hotness says she wants more.  Simon the Cowell wants a lot more.

Crystal Bowersox is reprising "Me and Bobby McGee" from #1s week, a song made famous by Janis Joplin.  She does it well, I guess, reminds me of Janis' original, which is good.  Randy the Dawg thought it was dope.  America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen DeGeneres calls her compelling.  Kara the New Hotness loves the fire in her (C'Bosox) belly.  Simon the Cowell says this was her best.

Now, the second song to be done by Lee DeWyze, singing "Everybody Hurts" from REM.  This song is a producer's choice. This was also a song from my college years, 1994 to be exact, from the album "Automatic for the People" back when REM was.. well, when they were relevent.  Seriously, the to' up the late 80s and early to mid-90s with this song, "Shiny Happy People", "The One I Love", "End of the World As We Know It (and I feel fine)" and of course, "Losing My Religion", that song where Michael Stipe just sits in a stool and flails his arms around in the video, looking almost cool doing it.

Ever seen the video to "Everybody Hurts"?   Like, all these cars get stuck on a bridge, and everyone gets out of their cars and start walking, much to the surprise of the newcaster narrating.  Oh, Randy, Ellen, Kara and Simon liked Lee here.

Back in school, there was a guy we knew obsessed with REM.  We used to kid around and tell him that REM stood for Rear End Men.  Turns out, years later, Stipe would prove that to be correct.  Go figure.  I was only more shocked when I found out that Nathan Lane was gay. 

Crystal comes out singing "Black Velvet", a song I destest and deplore.  And she's doing it in a dress that is not doing her curvy figure any favors.  I believe Clarice in "Steel Magnolias" said it best, at Shelby's reception... "looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket"

Randy the Dawg loved it.  Ellen DeG loved it.  Kara the New Hotness loved it.  Simon the Cowell loved it.  Of course.


Personally, I like "Love Is", Alannah Myles "Black Velvet" follow up, much better.   You know, the last song she released before disappearing into obscurity.

If Lee DeWyze wins it all, this will be his song... "Beautiful Day" is the tune.   Is this... is this the U2 song?  Seriously?  I guess that makes sense... every song they attempt to write for the Idols absolutely blows chunks, so let's find a proven winner by rippin' someone else's song.

Randy the Dawg liked it.  Ellen DeG liked it.  Kara the New Hotness liked it.  Simon the Cowell liked it.  I thought it was good.

And Crystal's song is "Up to the Mountain (MLK Song)".  Its a song done by Patty Griffin, by also covered by Kelly Clarkson and Jeff Beck during Idol Gives Back in 2007.  And C'Bosox's version?  I thought it was fantastic.  Absolutely fantastic.   By the way, I didn't add the phrase (MLK Song) as any attempt to be cynical or sarcastic--thats part of the title. 

So sez Wiki:  "Up to the Mountain (MLK Song)" is a contemporary folk song written by Patty Griffin. The song touches upon emotions surrounding Martin Luther King, Jr.'s famous 1968 "I've Been to the Mountaintop" speech, given the day before his assassination in Memphis, Tennessee.

Here's my picks for tonight... Crystal's "Up to the Mountain"... Crystal's "Me and Bobby McGee"... Lee's "Beautiful Day"... Lee's "Everybody Hurts"... Lee's "The Boxer"... Crystal's "Black Velvet"

Peronsally, I think Crystal Bowersox wins this, and if she does, I will immediately purchase "Up to the Mountain (MLK Song)" by C'Bosox as soon as its available. 

And to wrap up, its Will Young, the winner of the UK's Pop Idol, and the guy who sings "Leave Right Now", the exit song for Idol this year is onstage singing that very song.   The Lovely Steph Leann and I debate on whether he's black or not.  I think he could be, she says no.

Tomorrow night at 8pm, join me here on Clouds as I give a running diary of the finals... why at 8?  Well, if I wait an hour, I can fast forward through commercials, the Ford Music Video, random performances we want to skip and so on. 

Idol Inspiration

Okay, it was funny at first. But if I have to see Spongebob Nopants standing up in the bathtub, bubbles covering his giblets, I might kick a cement block barefoot. I’m just saying.

Alright, its… AMERICAL IDOL TIME! I haven’t done a complete review in several, several weeks, so I’m excited! It’s time for Idol Gives Back! And Sanjaya is nowhere to be seen! This could be a great night.

Basically, News Corp is going to offer 10 cents for the first 50,000,000 votes, which is $5 million bucks. And you know who's showing up tomorrow night? Bono. Yep, that Bono. I’ve heard it said that Bono is so cool, that if a guy makes out with Bono, you don’t call that guy gay… you ask him how cool it was.

Personally, I think U2 has kind of lost the edge (no, not The Edge, he’s still there… I mean the edge). They can put an album out of singing Waffle House menus, and it will go triple platinum, win four Grammys out of nine nominations, and Michael Nipp will buy it the second it comes out.

The money donated tonight through votes, and through people donating tomorrow night during the star-studded, two hour results show, will be going to fund charities in Africa, and here. And tonight’s themes are songs that inspire. Oh boy.

C-Rich is singing “Change the World” by Eric Clapton. This was featured in the underrated movie Phenomenon, starring John Travolta, and is found on the soundtrack to said movie… strangely enough, its one of my favorite CDs of all time. Jewel, Peter Gabriel, Aaron Neville, Clapton and several others sing some classics and its just a great rainy day album. And The Iguanas sing some Spanish song called "Para Donde Vas", which, ten years later, I still have no idea what it means, but it sounds cool.


Here's a CD you should go out and buy, like, right now. Really. Go get it.

Oh yeah, Chris Richardson is singing. Its kinda nasally, though that’s him anyway. I don’t imagine Eric Clapton will be too scared that Chris will be taking his place. Randy loved it, Paula loved it (I’m proud of you, seeing your journey, here’s my room key). Simon liked it too. Really? I didn’t think it was all that great, but that’s why I’m tone-hard-of-hearing.

Conversely, the Cingular "dropped the call" ads are hysterical. I love the new one, where the guy is calling the girl back, talking about a connection... when the call drops and he can't hear her response, he says some stupid comment about, "...you know, like a brother and sister connection? Like, I would never make out with my sister...". The look on his face when he says this is priceless.

Mindy Doo is busting out some Faith Hill, a song called "There Will Come a Day". Its one I'm not too familiar with, me not being a big Faith Hill fan.

Songs that inspire me?
"Gonna Fly Now (Rocky's Theme)" by Bill Conti. How can you not be totally pumped up and excited about life after hearing this song? I mean, the push at the end just makes my blood race. If I can change, you can change, we all can change. Rocky ended the cold war with that line.

Randy used the word "so dope" when describing Mindy Doo. Paula loved her too (magical, no one like you, make sure Chris uses that key I gave him). Simon loved it because it wasn't a copycat, calling it a "vocal masterclass". Yeah, it was a great performance... but it was kinda boring.

"Welcome to Delaware" by Watermark inspires me. Its the theme song of my life, and cut #3 on the "The Original d$ Life Soundtrack".

Blake Lewis is up next. John Lennon's "Imagine" is on tap.. its a song I like, but not one I'm crazy about.

I love "Standing Outside the Fire" by Garth Brooks... the video is just superduper. Oh, and "Promise of a New Day" by Paula Abdul, but maybe thats just because this was 1991, when Paula was hot, and in the video she's in a small dress standing under a waterfall. Or maybe not.

Randy says "just aight for me, dude", while Paula liked it lots. Simon says it was sincere. I thought it was just okay... nothing tonight is just making me excited. Sigh.

You know what else inspires me? "Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J. No, seriously. Its a great song that just makes you clinch your fist and take on the world.

Another song that just lifts me up is "Healing" by Wynonna Judd and Michael English. It came right after English was pretty much ostracized from the Christian music scene after admitting to an affair, and was featured in the ridiculous movie "Silent Fall". Beautifully sung, powerful words, and you can tell that Michael English is truly living the words. You should click the link and buy it now... only one is available. Hurry!

LaKisha is singing "I Believe", by former Idol winner Fantasia? Wouldn't it be great if LaKisha had instead sung "Baby Mama"? How fantastic would that have been? "I chose 'Baby Mama', because as a single mother, I think its important to recognize all those bee-ay-bee-why em-ay-em-ay... this goes out to all my baby mamas, I got love for all my baby mamas." I would pay a little extra for that...

Randy liked it just okay, Paula tosses some sunshine LaKisha's way, though she stumbles all over her words. Simon didn't like it much either. For me, eh. Perhaps Jordin or Phil got some good stuff coming... I'm waiting for this Idol episode to be good.

Phil Stacey is ready to inspire me. And he's singing some Garth, "The Change". I miss Garth, I really do. He had one heck of a run in the 90s, didn't he? His take on "Calling Baton Rouge" is probably my favorite, but "Two of a Kind (working on a full house)", "Rodeo", his version of "Shameless", "Ain't Goin' Down til the Sun Comes Up", and tons more... great, great stuff. Heck, I don't even mind he shacked up with Trisha Yearwood... they make good music together, a la Johnny & June Carter.


Here's another one you should own. Yes, this is the one that has "Friends in Low Places".

Oh, Phil's singing. And I'm bored to tears. Perhaps Jordin will bust out "Mama Said Knock You Out". I think I would actually get up and run around the apartment in joy if she did that.

Randy liked it, as did Paula. They both agree that country is Phil's forte. Simon really likes Phil, or so he says. "If you can connect with [style and country], you'll do well, because I think people like you."

Okay Jordin... give me something good to end this yawning show.

She's singing "You'll Never Walk Alone" by.... by... should I know this? Okay, Jordin. Blow me away. Wait for it... wait for it...

...wait for it...

...still waiting...

..and there she goes with the big vocals. She is truly your next American Idol. Randy says "one of the best vocals ever on six seasons of American Idol." Paula loved it. Simon says "fantastic". I'm pulling for her to take it home, all the way.

You know what else I like? "No Such Thing" by John Mayer. Yeah, really. Its a great song about life. Makes me happy. Even just the line "...I can't wait 'til my ten year reunion, I'm gonna bust down the double doors..." is worth it.

Course, I was just tossing out secular songs, with the exception of Watermark. I mean, add in Christian music, and the list of inspiring songs grows by a mile... "Faith My Eyes", "Close of Autumn", "Be My Glory", "Trinity", so on and so on... then again, you have to find that line between inspiring and encouraging and worshipful.

I'm not inspired by this show. Perhaps I'll toss on some Garth.

Note: Moments after finishing this review, I played "Calling Baton Rouge" three times on my iPod... then my internet crashed, I had to call Charter, stayed on the phone with the for about 30 minutes... and this was 130 in the morning. Good times, good times.)

Sad Songs Say So Much

So, Tom Reynolds has written a book about the saddest, most depressing songs ever written. I haven't seen the list, but I already know what they should be... for the last three hours, I've been listening to sad stuff on the iPod to confirm my selections... now, while I'm ready to go cry myself to sleep now, I'll let you know that I'm sure there is stuff I didn't think of that tomorrow, I'll smack my head and say "Crap... why didn't I include 'I Can't Make You Love Me' by Bonnie Raitt??"

...crap. Why didn't I include "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt"? Okay, consider that tied with Keith Whitley at #20.

Anyway, I'll assume that you all agree with me unless I hear otherwise, right? Right. So, here we go.

Dave's Top 10... No, Make It 20 Saddest, Most Depressing Songs, Like, Ever
20) "Don't Close Your Eyes" by Keith Whitley... a brilliant country artist who, typically, died from alcohol poisoing following an all night dringing binge. Its a man with a woman, begging her not to close her eyes for fear that she will start thinking of the one she really loves--and its not him.
Death from cat scratch fever line: "Maybe I've been a fool, holding on all this time, lyin' here in your arm knowing he's in your mind"
Ouch.

19) "Don't Cry" by Guns'N'Roses... I really went back and forth between this and "November Rain", finally deciding on this, my favorite GNR song. Axl Rose at his nasally best.
Insult GNR in front of Drew Morris line: Don't you take it so hard now and please don't take it so bad. I'll still be thinkin' of you and the times we had...baby
Actually that line is said "and the times we hay-ya-ya-ya-yad oh baybay"

18) "I Can't Stay Away From You" by Gloria Estefan & the Miami Sound Machine... okay, so get this. In high school, I made a mix tape (remember those?) of sad songs, and I called it "You Lost the One You Love and Need an Excuse for Suicide Mix". Very encouraging. Anyway, this song, "Can't Stay Away From You"? On the tape twice. It was that powerful.
Stomach punch line: "Hold on to every bit of hope, thats all I'll ever do. Hoping you might change your mind to call me up and say how much you need me too"
Gloria can sing the depressing stuff--she appears later in our list.

17) "Nothing Broken But My Heart" by Celine Dion... say what you want about Celine, but before she got so self absorbed, thin and married to the fat guy who looks like Rob Reiner, she was a pretty good singer. This is early Celine, at her best.
Stuck in a GNR concert with a Celine shirt line: "Baby, since you left me you might think that my world's been torn apart, but if you see me, baby you'll see that nothing's broken. Nothing's broken but my heart."
I've had my heart truly broken three times in my life. Its not fun, trust me. However, I contend that everyone should go through it once in their life.

16) "Black Balloon" by The Goo Goo Dolls... You know, I don't even know what this song is about... I just know its pretty painful. So, since this only partially qualifies, let's add...
16) "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers... from the opening line, the opening guitar, its a heartbreak. Bill Withers has one of my favorrite soul voices, and this song is just depressingly cool. Since the song is more of a repeat, its hard to give a gut punch line, but I will mention this is featured in Notting Hill, in the four seasons walking scene, one of the coolest uses of a song, not to mention one of the coolest scenes I've ever watched in any movie.
15) "These Days" by Rascal Flatts... a big, heartbroken salute to all those who have stood by, checking the phone constantly, just in case you were away and missed the phone ring, or you had your cell phone under a blanket and couldn't hear it for some reason, or today was the day your answering machine messed up and didn't take calls... even though you know the reason the phone has not rung is because she hasn't called you back. Oh, Indya Lawless, you wretched female... why didn't you call me?
Smack me now line: "Punch the clock, head for home, check the phone (just in case), go to bed, dream of you, thats what I'm doing these days"
Oh whatever. Like you've never done that. Stop it.

14) "There's a Light In Your Eyes" by Blessid Union of Souls... even though this song is a decade old, I only realy discovered it a few years ago. Really really heartbreaking. Just fast enough to keep you moving along, but melancholy enough to make it hurt.
Throw Yourself out the window line: "It's been a while since I've seen you so how have you been? Did you get my letter I wrote you, but I did not send?"
I think that line is one of the most simple, yet painful lines in any song.

13) "With Or Without You" by U2... this is really for Mikey more than anything else.
Kicking over the Bear's chair in the museum in front of a Latta line: "My hands are tied, my body bruised, she's got me with nothing to win and nothing left to lose"
You chicks are evil. Seriously.

12) "One Last Cry" by Brian McKnight... it's all about giving your heart one last chance to mourn your lost love, then tell yourself you are getting over it. Of course, it never works out that way.
Drinking battery acid line: "I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else. Now I sit all alone, wishing all my feelings were gone"
Maybe this is just here because as I sat all alone, I saw Allison Hodnett standing very close to John Glasscock, holding hands at the Troy weekly movie, one day after she asked ME to the movie, then promptly stood me up. Hey, it was in 1994, but it still sucked. okay, I wasn't all alone, I think I went with Michelle Dudley, but still.

11) "Never Had a Dream" by S Club 7... Yes, its pop at its cheesyworst, but its still pretty hard hitting. I think this song is personal, because this is what Steph would think about me when she loved me and I didn't feel the same.
Kick in the crotch line: "There's no use looking back or wondering how it should be now or might have been, this I know, but still i can't find ways to let you go..."
Though this song hurts a little, thinking about what Steph was feeling, thats nothing compares to "Standing Still" by Jewel. That song just messes me up.

10) "I'll Be Okay" by Amanda Marshall... this little gem was from the movie "My Best Friend's Wedding", and I'd be willing to bet out of all 6 of my readers, 6 of you have never heard it. Maybe Steph, only because I forced it on her. Its a fun little ditty about the joy of watching your best friend, and love of your life, end up with someone else. Without sounding too American Idol, I love the raw emotion that Amanda Marshall has in this song.
Hot fire pokers in the eye line: I want you to be happy, you're my best friend. But it's so hard to let you go now and all that could have been. I'll always have the memories, she'll always have you, fate has a way of changing
when you don't want it to"
Not good times. Bad times. Bad times.

9) "Secret Garden" by Bruce Springsteen (the Jerry Maguire dialogue version)... The Boss is at his best here, but throw in the best, most painful lines from the flick ("You've got to be fair to her. She loves you. If you don't love her, you've got to tell her") and you've got a knife-in-the-heart classic.
Phillipshead screwdriver through the skin between your fingers line: "She's got a secret garden where everything you want, everything you need will always stay a million miles away"
You know, that movie gets better with age, I think.

8) "Somebody Lied" by Ricky Van Shelton... holy crap, this song is bad. A country song, no less, about a guy who gets a call from his ex, and he's trying to refute claims that he's been crying, that he's been showing her picture to strangers, that he's been breaking down around town.
Trailer in a tornado line: "If the rumors were right, would you be here tonight to help this old heart heal? Well, don't worry, it wasn't me... just someone whose world was torn in two. Someone who looked alot like me and loved someone like you. So forget the tears I've never cried, I'll be somebody lied"
Dear Lord... I need to go kiss Steph to remind myself how happy I am.

7) "She's Always a Woman" by Billy Joel... While the above Springsteen song was my Amy Wible song in the 90s (well, there was also "Sailing" by Christopher Cross, but that's on a different list), this one belonged to Cindy Howell.
Put on a white hood and go to Ensley Line: "She'll promise you more than the Garden of Eden, then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleedin'"
Amy recently got married, so I hear, but I have no clue what happened to Cindy. Hmm. I think I'll write an article on this topic soon.

6) "Until I Fall Away" by the Gin Blossoms. Perhaps the essential 90s rock angst song. Hurts me now. I think I'll go slam my head against the wall. Of course, I'm still reeling from that stupid Ricky Van Shelton song. Heck, put that at #6, and this one goes to #8.
Set your hair on fire line: "There's no good answers, and no new questions. Another personal disaster, there's nowhere to go but down"
Just the music, even without the words, depresses me

5) "King of Pain" by Alanis Morissette... There's a song by the Police that really hurts (thats my soul up there), with its cryptic lyrics of pain and curt (thats my soul up there). Though it might be sacrilege to say I like (thats my soul up there) Alanis' version better, though only slight (thats my soul up there)
Falling out the top of a Georgia Pine line: I have stood here before inside the pouring rain with the world turning circles running 'round my brain. I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign but it's my destiny to be the king of pain
Seriously, as much as I love Sting singing this, Alanis' unplugged take on this is incredible.

4) "Here We Are" by Gloria Estefan... the opening chords of this song are just haunting, and Gloria voice is piercing and cutting. Classic Estefan.
Putting drills to your temple line: "And though no one knows whats going on inside and all the love I feel for you is something I should hide, when I have you close to me, the feelin's so sublime... there's nothing I can do to keep from loving you"
Anytime you have to use the word "sublime" to describe your relationship, there's something to discuss.

3) "On My Own" from Les Miserables... Eponine sings the song about loving a guy who loves another girl... and she ends up dying while carrying a love letter from said girl to said guy.
Carve out your heart with a spoon (cause it'll hurt more, you twit) line: "I love him but every day I'm learning all my life I've only been pretending. Without me his world will go on turning, a world that's full of happiness that I have never known"
Make sure you get the Les Miserables Highlights version, with Kaho Shimada. The Original Cast Recording, with Frances Ruffelle, is good, but Kaho's Highlight version is far superior in sound and arrangement. Trust me on this.

2) "Nothing Compares 2 U" by Sinead O'Connor... more effective when the video is with it. Painful, heart ripping lyrics, sung simply by Sinead, before she freaked out on SNL.
Playing in 280 Traffic Line: "Its been 7 hours and 16 days since you took your love away..."
Come on, who hasn't been dropped like a bad habit, then counted the days after? Heck, my first breakup with Cindy Howell, I was counting minutes.

1) "This Song Remembers When" by Trisha Yearwood... just a simple song about a girl who's gotten past her heartbreak, until she hears the song--"their song"--that brings it all back.
Dipping Chips in Cyanide Line: "After taking every detour, getting lost and losing track, so even if I wanted, I could not find my way back... after driving out the memory about the way things might have been, after I'd forgotten all about us, this song remembers when."
Yeah, been there, Trisha.. been there. Not so much now that God sent me Stephanie, but there was a time...

Anyway, now's the part of the show where Tommy shakes his head and tells me what I missed.