my favorite albums... 80 to 71

Continuing on my own personal list of my all time favorite albums, CDs, records, digital copies and so forth...

Introduction
My 100 to 91st Favorite Albums of All Time
My 90 to 81st Favorite Albums of All Time

80
"The Way That I Am" by Martina McBride (1993)... It was very tempting to go with "The Greatest Hits" from Martina... she's a country icon, one of my favorite voices and let's be honest, very easy on the eyes.  But this, her second album (following "The Time Has Come") is just amazing.  The one negative about any greatest hits compilation is the track lineup... the original albums were arranged for the music to flow perfectly, and in a best-of, its mostly just hit after hit, or in chronological order.  Martina's "Greatest" is an awesome set... but "The Way That I Am" has "Life #9" and "My Baby Loves Me" and the heart wrenching "Where I Used to Have a Heart" and her signature song, "Independence Day"... few times has a woman taking revenge on an abusive husband sounded so doggone awesome.  By far, my favorite track.

79

"Even Worse" by Weird Al Yankovic (1988)... Michael Jackson was always a good sport when it came to Weird Al's parodies, and this takeoff of MJ's "Bad" was no different.  The lead single, "Fat" is hysterical ("the sidewalk cracks... when I fall down... I've got more chins than Chinatown... ham on... ham on whole wheat, alright..."), and the video is even better.  But the jokes keep on coming, including "This Song is Just Six Words Long", a rendition of George Harrison's "I've Got My Mind Set On You" and "I Think I'm a Clone Now", from Tiffany's (and Tommy James & the Shondells) "I Think We're Alone Now"... my favorite is the original "Good Ole Days", a James Taylor'esque look back at the days of yon... "do you remember sweet Michelle, she was my high school romance... she was fun to talk to, and nice to smell, so I took her to the homecoming dance... well, I tied her to a chair and shaved off all her hair, and left her in the desert all alone... well, sometimes in my dreams I can still hear her scream, oh I wonder if she ever made it home... those were the good old days..."

78
"Grease: The Original Soundtrack from the Motion Picture" (1978)... Who doesn't love "Grease"?  Its the kind of film that when you see it on the big screen at special theater shows, you can sing along to everything.  In college, I saw it with a group of friends, and all we did was sing, or at least mouth the words, and do the hand jive during the TV show taping.  If you pick this one up, make sure you get the full album... there is a single disc CD that has the major stuff on it, but there is a 2-disc set that has all of it... you want that.  Its hard to pick a favorite, though... "Hopelessly Devoted To You" is sweet... "Summer Nights" is fun... "You're the One That I Want" is great... and I do love "Sandy", as silly as it is. 

Two thoughts on "Grease", since we are on the subject...

1) You do.not.understand how dirty and innuendo filled "Greased Lightning" is until you get older and are able to understand such things.  Its like "Walk this Way" or "Pour Some Sugar On Me"... nothing but musical sex dressed up with fun phrases that mislead a 12 year old into singing along.

2) This was the cassette I was listening to when I had my first wreck.  I was driving along through Elba, Alabama, not paying attention, singing along to the title song, "Grease", and ran a red light.  I smashed into the side of an Oldsmobile with a couple of brothers in it.  They weren't happy, but I didn't get beat up.  Which was good. 

77

And as a 12 year old boy, how cool is this album cover? I
just don't feel like they do cool album art anymore... its
an afterthought now, in this day and age of mp3s and
iTunes and immediate downloads...

"Hysteria" by Def Leppard (1987)... When I was 12, my brother Shawn had acquired this tape from a friend of his, this band called Def Leppard.  On it was this song that just had hit the radio, "Pour Some Sugar On Me", this sexually charged party anthem that would go on to become an all time classic and a mainstay on rock stations forever.  Again, like in the previous album review, we didn't know the full meaning of the song, we just liked singing "I'm hot, hot, so hot, sticky sweet!" at the top of our lungs.  Anyway, I really liked what I heard... rock like "Armageddon It", whatever the crap that even means... "Rocket" and "Animal" and "Don't Shoot Shotgun"... this album rules.  I mean, they have a one-armed drummer!  My favorite track: "Hysteria"

76
"Sleepless in Seattle" Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (1993)... As the years go on, this movie holds up.  And I think it will be shown on cable and E! and the TV Guide Channel and Hallmark for decades.  Part of the charm of this film, though, is the music.... and to 17 year old me, it was my first real introduction to the likes of Jimmy Durante, Ricky Lee Jones and Nat King Cole.  Every track is gold, no moment is wasted, and everything has its own special place in the movie... my favorite track is hard to choose, but its probably something sing-along-able, like Harry Connick Jr's "A Wink and a Smile" or the classic "A Kiss to Build a Dream On" by Louis Armstrong.

75
"Greatest Hits" by Keith Whitley (1990)... For those who have no idea who Keith Whitley is, you probably know his music... or at least, "When You Say Nothing At All", a song later made even more famous by Alison Krauss.  The late 80s featured Whitley in heavy rotation on a ton of country stations, featuring such now-classics as "Miami, My Amy"... "Don't Close Your Eyes"... and "I'm No Stranger to the Rain".  And that's what made it so sad when on May 9, 1989, he was found dead, face down in his bed, fully clothed, after a weekend of drinking and partying.  The official report was alcohol poisoning, with a blood level of .477--that's equal to 20 1oz shots of 100-proof whiskey.  I'm not a drinker, but that seems to be heckuva lot of the booze.  Like Tupac, Keith Whitley's music was released long after his death.  My favorite cut on the album: "Don't Close Your Eyes"

So... could I be the first person to ever put Tupac Shakur and Keith Whitley in the same sentence?  Maybe.  I hope so.  We all have to have goals.

74
"Cooleyhighharmony" by Boyz II Men (1991)... I love me some Nate, Mike, Shawn and Wanya... no joke.  Its often joked how similar some of their songs are, with the slower pace and the deep voice speaking about "Baby, come back, I know its tough, but I know we can make it" or something like that.  Doesn't matter, though, because Boyz II Men sounded great in all their music. This was their first album, and it was an R&B masterpiece, with "Uhh Ahh", and the song that would end up being the Samson High School 1993 Class Song, "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday"... and of course, the incredibly cool "Motownphilly", which makes you move.

Do they still do class songs?  I wanted ours to be "Forever Young" by Rod Stewart.  Someone else pushed hard for "Free Bird" by Skynyrd.  I'll take "Its So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday", even though it was featured in a funeral scene for a teenage gangbanger in "Lethal Weapon 3".

73

In 1994, any picture with the Friends gang in it was a
picture you wanted to be in.  We don't think about it
much now, but back then, this show was a huge'
cornerstone in so many lives, especially those in
high school and like myself, in college

"Friends Original TV Soundtrack" (1995)... Like the TV Soundtrack to Ally McBeal, this is one that stayed in heavy rotation in my CD player... well, at first my tape player, then my CD player... for a long time.  "Sunshine" by Paul Westerberg became a daily sing along with me, while "Shoe Box" was fun to blare while speeding up Highway 231... plus, Hootie & the Blowfish's "I Go Blind" was awesome, as I am a big fan of Hootie, and I ranked "Good Intentions" by Toad the Wet Sprocket as my 2nd favorite song in all of 1995 (behind "Fantasy" by Mariah Carey. Naturally.)   And to top it off, there were bits of dialogue from some episodes intersparsed between tracks... loved it.  Favorite track is definitely "Good Intentions"

72
"Notting Hill Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (1999)... Let me establish that I frickin' love this movie.  I love it.  I love everything about it.  Currently, it sits as my 15th favorite film of all time... its just wonderful.  Like "Sleepless in Seattle", the music is a big, big part of it.  Its got your typical love song stuff, "You've Got a Way" by Shania Twain and "I Do (cherish you)" by 98 Degrees... there is an Elvis Costello cover of "She" that is pretty great... but there are three that pop out and make this entire albu\m shine--"How Do You Mend a Broken Heart" from The Rev'rn Al Green... the incomparable Bill Withers doing "Ain't No Sunshine... and Steve Winwood leading The Spencer Davis Group, rocking out on "Gimme Some Loving", one of the best party songs in the history of the world.  All three are immaculate tunes.



By the way... the scene when "Ain't No Sunshine" comes in, when Will (Hugh Grant) walks down the street and you see the seasons pass him by as he walks--so underrated as a visual montage.  I mean, just incredible. 

71
"Thriller" by Michael Jackson (1982)... Okay.  Its Michael Jackson.  It's "Thriller".  Its "Billie Jean".  Its "Beat It".  Its "P.Y.T. (pretty young thing)".  Its "Human Nature".  And it's one of the best jams in the history of great jams... "Wanna Be Starting Something".  Nothing else I can say... if you say you like Michael Jackson, you need to either buy, or at least listen to this soon.

So, I rave about it, but why isn't it higher on the list?  Well... because its at 71.  That's how this works.  There are 70 albums I like better than Thriller.  So there.

ALMOST MADE THE CUT

Another soundtrack that I really enjoy is the 1997 "My Best Friend's Wedding" music.  I mean, its fluffy and love-struck, like most rom-coms, but sometimes the guy who puts these things together really outdoes himself.   The opening cut is the signature song from the film, "I Say a Little Prayer (for you)", this version done by Diane King... then the song that opens the movie itself, Ani DiFranco's version of "Wishin and Hopin'"... Jimmy Soul's comical "If You Wanna Be Happy"... and how can you beat Tony Bennett's "The Way You Look Tonight" (okay... Sinatra's is better, but Tony's is pretty good)... and towards the end of the album, you have the cast version of "Say a Little Prayer (for you)", from the famous dinner scene in the movie.  My favorite, though, and one of my all time favorite songs--at least in my Top 50--is Amanda Marshall's ode to letting go of someone you love, called "I'll Be Okay".  Holy crap is this song brutal.  Awesome, but brutal. 

my favorite albums... 90 thru 81

Welcome back to the show... here's the next set of my all time favorite albums...

Read:
The Introduction
My 100th to 91st favorite albums of all time

90

"Off the Deep End" by Weird Al Yankovic (1992)... I love, have always loved, and will always love, Weird Al Yankovic.  He's just hilarious.  And inventive.  And funny.  And his 7th studio album falls in that love category... he parodies the New Kids on the Block's "The Right Stuff" with an ode to the creamy center of an Oreo, "The White Stuff"... he digs on Milli Vanilli in "The Plumbing Song"... he joins with Cheech Marin in doing some "Rico Suave" as "Taco Grande"... and my favorite of the bunch is the lead single--"Smells Like Nirvana", a great parody of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit".  Story goes that Al reached out, somewhat nervously, to Kurt Cobain about doing a Nirvana song.  Cobain asked, "Is your parody about food?"  Al replied, "Well... uh... no.  Its actually about how no one can understand your lyrics..."  Cobain loved the idea, the song and the video that accompanied it.  As he should.  Its brilliant.

89
"Songs from Ally McBeal" by Vonda Shepard (1998)... This will fall into the category of "CDs I listened to continually for a long, long time, but haven't heard in a long, long time..."  I used to love me some Ally McBeal, as well as the music... and most of the music from the first few seasons was done by singer-songwriter Vonda Shepard... the CD is mostly covers like "Walk Away Renee" and "Just Ask the Lonely", but my favorite is the Ally McBeal theme song, "Searching My Soul". 

Wait... I just found out that Vonda Shepard is the same Vonda Shepard that duets with Dan Hill on the 80s cheesefest "Can't We Try"... how did I not know this?  I mean, how many Vonda Shepards making music can there be?  Why didn't I make this connection?  I'm losing my touch...

88
"Purple" by Stone Temple Pilots (1994)... I have to give props to my high school buddy Greg Avant for turning me on to this band... I'll tell that story later, but "Purple" is their second CD, and its just so, so good.  "Interstate Love Song" is the one that got the most play on the radio, but there are other gems here... like "Big Empty", a song that was later featured in "The Crow" soundtrack, and the oddly named, great sounding "Meat Plow".  I'm not a huge heavy metal fan, but I loved me some STP.  Of course, this was truly the last great album they made... their next CD, "Tiny Music from the Vatican Gift Shop" was good, but just not the same magic as their first one, and this one.  Favorite track: Vasoline

Unfortunately, Scott Weiland, the frontman for STP, was buzzed on heroin for much of the early STP years.  And he sounded awesome.  And when he got clean, STP suffered.  I know, its a terrible thing... but I miss Heroin Addicted Scott Weiland.  Maybe he just shoot up for recording sessions, remaining closely supervised by doctors, and then immediately go into rehab.  That's probably why I'm not a music producer.

87.
"Surfacing" by Sarah McLachlan (1997)... I do love me some Sarah Mac.  I procured tickets to see her in concert once, while working at a radio station.  We sat next to the Paepckes' (Jon from NBC13 and his wife Jennifer)... and the four of us might have been the only four straight people in the entire arena.

Anyway, "Surfacing" is the fourth studio album from Sarah, and containing some excellent songs like "Building a Mystery" and the grew-on-me-over-the-years "Adia".  Loses points, however, for the inclusion of "Angel", a really slow song already that has been forever marred because its the music used by the ASPCA, showing you pictures of one eyed puppies, three legged kittens and retarded horses to guilt you into sending them money.  That song is ruined.  Favorite track, though? "Sweet Surrender".  Looooove me some "Sweet Surrender".

86   
"House of Love" by Amy Grant (1994)... The early 90s were really tough on Mrs. Grant.  She made a highly successful crossover to pop music with "Heart in Motion", released in 1991 and was on the short list of albums for this Top 100... things weren't going well, though.  She separated from singer/songwriter Gary Chapman, and while in that separation, she met country superstar Vince Gill, who appears on this album, in a duet for the title track.  Gary and Amy finalized their divorce in 1999, and in 2000, she married Vince, himself previously married to a chick from Sweethearts of the Rodeo. 

Personally, I think she fell in love with Vince in the mid to late 90s, still married to Gary... but I also think they knew years before the divorce that the marriage was doomed.   Listen to 1997's  "Behind the Eyes", the album that came after this--its pretty painful.  Her heart was broken.  How did this turn into an Amy Grant story?

"House of Love" is fun, light, and peppy, especially with "Lucky One", a somewhat winkwink nudgenudge to the art of Christian lovin'... I dig her version of "Oh How the Years Go By"... I like "Children of the World"... but my favorite has to be the title track, "House of Love"

85
"Caedmon's Call" by Caedmon's Call (1997)... Like many of you, I find new bands because someone says "These guys are awesome, you should check them out."  That's how I discovered The Weepies (Thanks Hannah Pruitt!) and The Lemonheads (Thanks Mike Dunn!  You stole my girlfriend, but at least I have the Lemonheads to listen to!)... and one summer in 1997, doing summer missions with the Baptist Association in Montgomery, Alabama, this dude named Jason said, "You need to listen to Caedmon's Call.  They are awesome."  And they were.  They are.  From the opening "Lead of Love" to the great closer, "Coming Home", and everything in between, its guitar worship Jesus praise, and its great.  "This World" is an amazing take on how this is not our home, "I Just Don't Want Coffee" could be a theme song for me, and "Close of Autumn" is one of my Life Songs, or songs that most affected my Christian Walk

84
"Serious Hits... Live" by Phil Collins (1990)... Phil is one of those guys who was pretty awesome in a band--Genesis--and had a pretty awesome solo career, at least early.  Then he kinda became a wuss.  (See "Adams, Bryan").  Anyway, on this live CD you get some pretty serious hits live, like "Do You Remember" and "Something Happened on the Way to Heaven", which are from the studio album before this "But Seriously...", but you also get some earlier stuff, including "Easy Lover" and "In the Air Tonight".  And there is an incredible version of "Separate Lives", and my favorite Phil Collins song "I Wish It Would Rain Down".  Did you also know that Phil is the father of Lily Collins, the big sis in "The Blindside"?  Yup. 

At some point, this exchange actually happens:
Paula:  Have you ever been in love?
Keanu: If I was... I didn't know it...
Glorious.  Brilliant.  Poignant.  Ridiculous.  All in one. I frickin love
the "Rush Rush" video...

83
"Spellbound" by Paula Abdul (1991)... And we get our first repeat artist of the countdown... I gotta be honest.  For a long time, I had "Forever Your Girl" ranked this high, and "Spellbound" was among the discarded nominations... but I took a long look at the track listing, and even pulled up iTunes and took a listen at "Vibeology" (oh so funky) and "The Promise of a New Day" (positive vibes along for the ride) and "Blowing Kisses in the Wind" (soft and melodic) and of course, "Rush Rush", which can only be truly appreciated if you watch the most ridiculous video in the history of mankind.  I mean, Keanu Reeves is portraying James Dean.  Read that sentence again. 

82
"A Maze of Grace" by Avalon (1997)... Yes, in the 90s, trios and quartets in Contemporary Christian Music were almost a dime a dozen.  Sometimes it was hard to tell your Sierra from your The Waiting from Silage from PFR to FFH to Big Tent Revival... they all kind of sounded alike, even with different sounds and styles... and somehow, Avalon kinda sounded like that too.  But, to me, they stood out with this CD... This, their 2nd album, was magical, as it contained great worship music like "Adonai" and "Dreams I Dream For You"... oh, and this monster hit you couldn't get away from, "Testify To Love".  Don't get me wrong, its a great song, but in 1997-98, that song was EVA.REE.WHERE... I mean, all over.  And yes, I know all the words.  My favorite tunes on this album though, are the awesome strong-in-faith song "World Away" and the love song to God, "Reason Enough"

81

"Sheryl Crow and Friends: Live from Central Park" by Sheryl Crow (1999)... I do love Sheryl Crow. Ever since her first album, "Tuesday Night Music Club", which as you might guess, you'll hear about later, I have enjoyed her music, her writing and her style... that's changed a bit in the last six or seven years, as I kinda feel like she's become a little flaky for my tastes, as you can read here in a post from years ago, but that doesn't change her work in the 90s.  This live CD features Eric Clapton, The Dixie Chicks, Chrissy Hynde from The Pretenders, Stevie Nicks and Sarah McLachlan, an incredible line-up, and... well, this CD is just fun.  My favorite track is the duet with Stevie Nicks, on a cover of "Gold Dust Woman"

ALMOST MADE THE CUT

My first three CD purchases... 1) The Monkees box set... 2) The Pulp Fiction Soundtrack... and ...

The Hit Songs of Andrew Lloyd Webber (1995)... I don't know who sings these songs, and the liner notes are somewhere around here, I dunno... but I love "Another Suitcase in Another Hall" from Evita, a musical I don't really ever care to see... and I thought this version of "Memories" from CATS was incredible, even though I've seen CATS twice and it sucked both times... and of course, the title song from "The Phantom of the Opera" will rock your world... and "Jesus Christ Superstar"?  Holy crap that song is a jam.  And I got it all from this CD, on sale for $11.95, at On Cue in Troy, Alabama.

my favorite albums... 100 to 91

Didja read the intro?  Do that first.

And now... drumroll please... my 100 favorite albums of all time...

100
"Found a Place" by FFH (2000)... Poppy and light, but still a great devotional/worship album.  Be it a catchy tune about having the faith of "Daniel", or a prayer to be used however He sees fit, like in "Lord Move or Move Me", every song is a great devotion.  My favorite is the simple praise song "Be My Glory"... check that one out on iTunes, if nothing else.


99
"Forever Your Girl" by Paula Abdul (1989)... Nowadays, Paula Abdul is somewhat of a punchline.  Somewhat strange, flaky, rambling, a bubble of fluff and rainbows when she appeared on American Idol for what seemed like forever ago.  But back in the day, she was a hot dancer who became a hot singer who sang awesome stuff like "Opposites Attract", with some dude named MC Scat Cat.  She did a video where she had a romance with an animated, smoking cat!  And she was praised for it!  I love this CD.  My favorite cut is the title track, "Forever Your Girl".

98
"Cocktail" Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (1988)... My cousins Shannon and Frankie Jr, and his girlfriend at the time, were down from Virginia with family visiting us in Samson, Alabama, and the four of us decided to go to the movies.  Now, this is in Enterprise, Alabama, where you go to the Clark Cinemas--whichever movie you want, that's the window you went to.  Want this film, go to the left, want that film, go to the right, with the concession stand in the middle.  That night, Shannon and I went to see "Hot to Trot", with Bobcat Goldthwait and Frankie Jr and his chick went to see "Cocktail".  After our movies were over, we met in the parking lot.  Frankie Jr raved about "Cocktail", so we all went to see it.  Mine and Shannon's second film of the night, their 2nd time viewing the movie.  And at the time, I thought the movie was awesome.  Now?  Eh. Its okay, I guess.

The soundtrack is rollicking, though.  Its known for two main songs:  Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and the love it or hate it "Kokomo" by The Beach Boys, which subsequently led to a reunion and a new tour and John Stamos on drums.  No, I'm not kidding.

But the real gems are the covers of "All Shook Up" by Ry Cooder, and the original "Tutti Frutti" by Little Richard.  It also features John Cougar Mellencamp, Starship and a bombastic Fabulous Thunderbirds on "Powerful Stuff"... my favorite of the bunch, though, is the "Hippy Hippy Shake" by the Georgia Satellites, which sometimes runs through my head when I'm rockin' at the espresso bar at Starbucks. 

97
"Third Day" by Third Day (1996)... At the beginning of my huge Christian music fandom, and what I consider the growing-up of the CCM industry, there was a band out of Atlanta that emerged.  They released this album with a bus on the front, and called it "Third Day"... this was after a few years of playing around the area, growing the fandom and releasing a few indie albums.  They have release 8 studio albums and 2 worship CDs since then, but to me, their first is by far the best.  It kicks off with "Nothing at All", then continues the bluesy rock with songs like "Blackbird", "Consuming Fire", and maybe the most well known from this CD, "Thief".  My favorite is "Take My Life", a soft, worship tune that I first heard when my frat brother Jason White strummed it on guitar.

96
"Momentum" by Toby Mac (2001)... Not sure that dcTalk will ever unite.  Makes me sad. That being said, Toby Mac is awesome.  Christian rap and hip hop sometimes gets a bad... well, rap... because... well... its usually awful.  I mean, most rap is awful, and Christian rap isn't much different.  But Toby Mac somehow makes it work.   And on "Momentum", there are shades of dcTalk all through, but it comes alive when you have guests like Kirk Franklin and GRITS join up.  My favorite track by far is "Irene", but mostly because we did a dance to that song when I did missions in New York City in 2002.  That ruled.

95
"Greatest Hits" by New Kids on the Block (2008)... Now, I know what you are going to say.  What is that doing on your list.  I know, I know... but I chose to put Greatest Hits and compilations on this list because yes, they are albums, and yes, they are albums I like.  There are several GH on this list, including 2 box sets, and even a few live albums.

What?  You meant "Why are the New Kids on this list?"  Well, because in high school, as a dude, I wasn't allowed to like them.  But as a grown up, I think its probably okay.  And I like this CD--it saves me from having to actually get any of their other stuff.  "Hangin' Tough", "Step by Step", "I'll Be Lovin' You (forever)"... take a listen, they aren't bad.  My favorite?  "Tonight"

94
"Dirty Dancing" Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (1987)... Talk about an album to know by heart.  Glancing at the track listing for this record, I know every word to Eric Carmen's "Hungry Eyes"... every word to Bruce Channel's "Hey Baby!"... and all the cheesy notes to Mickey & Sylvia's "Love is Strange".  And, of course, "(I've had) The Time of My Life" with Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes.  My favorite is "Be My Baby" by The Ronettes.

93
"Songs You Know By Heart: Jimmy Buffett's Greatest Hit(s)" by Jimmy Buffett (1985)... Its hard to believe that all of these songs were before 1985--in fact, they are all from 1973 to 1979.  And yeah, if you are familiar with Buffett at all, you'll know "Cheeseburger in Paradise" and "Fins" and The Lovely Steph Leann's favorite, "Come Monday"... and of course, "Margaritaville", my favorite from the set.

92
"La Bamba" Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (1987)... from a movie in my Top 500, I freakin' loved La Bamba when it came out.  The story of Richie Valens, starring Lou Diamond Phillips, it chronicles the rise of Valens, his stardom and his death, "The day the music died", in a plane crash with The Big Bopper and Buddy Holly.  The music in this movie should have its own credit in the cast list.  TexMex rockers Los Lobos provided all the songs for Valens, and are featured here on the first half of the album--"Donna", "Come On Let's Go", and "La Bamba" included.  The last half is also great, with covers of Buddy Holly's "Crying, Waiting, Hoping", Brian Setzer's version of "Summertime Blues" and the original Bo Diddley classic, "Who Do You Love".  But its the Jackie Wilson cover of "Lonely Teardrops" by Howard Huntsberry that stands out for me.

91
"Breathless" by Kenny G (1992)... Oh, come on.  In 1992, I liked it.  And guess what?  Its 12x platinum--it sold over 12,000,000 copies.  So, back off.

AND ONE THAT DIDN'T MAKE IT...
The problem with cutting it to 100 is there are still so many albums to talk about... so here's one that I loved, but didn't quite make the list:

"The Greatest Hits" by INXS (1994)... Once again, rather than buying all the CDs, I found it easier to just get this one.  And am I glad I did... "Suicide Blonde" with that opening riff... "What You Need" rocks... "Need You Tonight" is fun to sing... and "Beautiful Girls" is awesome.  It loses points though because it doesn't include the cool "Mediate"...

Coming soon... the next 10 favorite albums of all time... including something a little Weird... our first TV soundtrack... and finally, a real, hard rock album...

Just Another Sad Love Song Part 1

"Its just another sad love song, racking my brain like crazy. Guess I'm all torn up, be it fast or slow, it doesn't let go or shake me... and its all because of you..." -- Another Sad Love Song by Toni Braxton

Some years ago, say, 2006, I did a post called "Sad Songs Say So Much", where I listed what I felt was the 20th Saddest Songs Ever.


Well, here we are, six full years later, and its time to revisit. So for this Valentine's Day, I wanted to give you my new list, this time, The 25 Saddest Songs Ever... many of the songs are the same, just lower or higher, but since in six years I've gained several new readers, this is new to you!

Broken into 2 parts for length and time (I've got just long enough to finish this before The Lovely Steph Leann wakes up, meaning Campbell wakes up on the couch and I've got to feed him. And her), here is numbers 25 through 11... the top ten will be listed in a day or so. I promise.

Note... these are all about heartbreak. There are many songs out there about abuse and suicide and death and tragedy and destruction and such, but I centered only on the loneliness, despair and ache that can only be felt with a broken heart... except for one song, which will be explained when we get there. So no "Its So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday" by Boyz II Men, a song about death.

Honorable Mentions... "She's Always a Woman" by Billy Joel (too much like #23)... "Unbreak My Heart" by Toni Braxton (overplayed to the point that its lost its punch)... "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins (too easy)... "Superstar" by The Carpenters (too stalkery).... and "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss (too drunky)


(25) "Somebody Lied" by Ricky Van Shelton 
"Hello? Yeah, this is me. Lord, its been a long, long time. I know this ain't no social call, so go ahead, get it off your mind. You heard what? Well, it ain't true. I was here most all last night... I got over you the day you left, could it be somebody lied?"

Talk about a gut wrenching song... this dude gets a call from his ex-chick, and his ex is like, "Dude, I heard you been asking about me too all our friends... what the crap, yo?" and he is like, "Naw, that ain't me. Somebody been lying to you." And then she's like, "Man, I been done heard you been like, crying and all to all of our peeps, yo." And then, he is like, "Naw, I ain't shed a tear in years. And that I talked about you? That is crazy... I ain't even noticed you be gone, yo."

Then, he asked, "... so, if they were true, what would it matter to you, would it change the way you feel? If the rumors were right, would you be here tonight, to help this old heart heal? But, don't worry, it wasn't me. Just someone who's world was torn in two. Someone who looks alot like me, and loves someone like you."

(24) "I'll Be There For You" by Bon Jovi
"... I guess this time your really leaving... I heard your suitcase say goodbye... and as my broken heart lies bleeding... you said true love is suicide..."

Ouch. Jon Bon Jovi's growly voice kicks in after a memorable twangy opening, then spends the next five minutes or so simply begging and pleading for her not to leave.

But she ain't having it. She says she's cried a thousand rivers, but now she's swimming for the shore.

(23) "Secret Garden" by Bruce Springsteen, the "Jerry Maguire" version
"...I was just about to tell you... that I love him. I DO! I love him! And I don't care what you think, I love him for the man he wants to be, and I love him for the man... he almost is! I love him, Laurel. I love him. I love him."

That line is spoken in the depths of the movie "Jerry Maguire", one of my 100 favorite films of all time, and also at the very beginning of this version of the highly underrated Bruce Springsteen song. Its a song all about a chick who is distant, who is secretive, who lets her man in only so far, then pushes him away... while the dude himself yearns to be closer to her. "She lead you down a path, there'll be tenderness in the air. She'll let you in just far enough so you'll know she's really there..." Sad, sad.


I frakkin' love this movie. No joke.

(22) "Don't Close Your Eyes" by Keith Whitley
"...don't close your eyes, let it be me, don't pretend its him in some fantasy. Darling, just once let yesterday go, you'll find more love than you'll ever know. Just hold me tight, when you love me tonight, and don't close your eyes..."

So, not only does this guy have to suffer through having a chick, being in love with this chick even, that he knows has a previous man... but he has to suffer with the knowledge that even though she is with him, she's thinking of her previous man! What!? What what?! So rather than telling her to hit the bricks, he actually just begs her to just stay awake, because if she closes her eyes or goes to sleep, she'll think of her old boo. Sad. And even worse, I've been there.

And its even worse that Keith Whitley ended up drinking himself to death a few years after this monumental hit.

(21) "With or Without You" by U2
"see the stone set in your eyes, feel the thorn twist in your side, and I wait... for you."

I echo my sentiments from six years ago... You chicks are evil. Seriously.

(20) "Separate Lives" by Phil Collins and Marilyn Martin
"Oh, its so typical, love leads to isolation. So you build that wall (build that wall), you build that wall, and you make it stronger... you have no right to ask me how I feel. You have no right to speak to me so kind. Someday I might find myself looking in your eyes. But for now, we'll go on living... separate lives."

Whew. Written by Stephen Bishop (a soft pop guy from the early 80s, had a hit with "It Might Be You" from "Tootsie"), he dated Karen Allen, who we know as the love interest from the first and fourth Indiana Jones movies. They had a bad breakup, and Bishop wrote this song after actually calling her from his hotel room--which is in the song. Ouch.

(19) "I'll Never Get Over You (getting over me)" by Expose
"...I try to smile so the hurt won’t show… tell everybody I was glad to see you go…"

Talk about someone who can’t let go! Here’s a chick who is just watching her man go about and have a good time, she has watched him not only move on, but also forget about her. From 1992, its Expose’s last hit on the charts.

By the way, Expose falls under that Pat Benetar category of "Artists that you never realized had so many songs that you like"... I mean, Expose was a pretty big deal in the late, late 80s and early 90s... "Point of No Return" and "When I Looked at Him" and of course, their biggest hit of all, "Seasons Change", which is an awesome song.

FYI... I played this song as I broke up with a girl my freshman year in college.  What a douchey move, I admit it.  Sorry.  I was 18.    


(18) "Can't Let Go" by Mariah Carey
"...you even realize the sorrow I have inside, every day of my life? Do you know they way it feels when all you have just died? I try and try to deny the way that I feel but still you remain on my mind…"

From the 1991 album “Emotions”, here’s Mariah Carey’s ode to losing someone… not just losing someone, nay nay! Losing someone and not being able to move forward! Losing them and watching them be with someone else! Now this song was Mariah’s 6th single ever, but the first to not make it to #1, as it stalled at #2. The song that kept it from #1? All for Love by Color Me Badd.

(17) "I Can't Stay Away from You" by Gloria Estefan & The Miami Sound Machine
"...and I don’t wanna be your second choice, don’t wanna be just your friend… you keep telling me that you’re not in love, you wanna throw it all away…"

From 1988, the album Let It Loose, its Gloria Estefan AND the Miami Sound Machine. This one is heartbreaking because not only does she lose her boo… not only is he moving on… not only can she not move on… but she can’t stay away from him. She can’t stop thinking about him. She wants him to call her up and say “I need you too”. Its just so… so painful.

Is there a better band name that "The Miami Sound Machine"? That's an awesome name. I think if the Miami Dolphins ever had a good defense, they could call it "The Miami Pound Machine". Wait... that sounds wrong. Never mind.

(16) "Nothing Broken But My Heart" by Celine Dion
"If you ask me how I'm doing, I'm fine. All I needed was a little time.... so if you think I still need you, baby, I really don't know why... but if you see me, nothing's broken... nothing's broken but my heart."

Here's my absolute favorite song by Celine Dion… from her self titled album released in 1992, it’s a tune about a bad breakup. She herself has moved on, just like her man. She’s gotten herself together, she’s started a new life and all that rot. But still… she finds herself reflecting and says, “you know, you might think my world has ended, but really… nothing is wrong. Except for the fact I have a broken heart.” And there it is.

Dig the Vh1 logo in the corner. Old school.

(15) "No One Is to Blame" by Howard Jones
"You can see the summit, but you can't reach it. The last piece of the puzzle, but you just can't make it fit... doctor says your cured, but you still feel the pain, aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain..."

Its all about being attracted to someone you just can't be with. The entire song is filled with contradictions--you can be the fastest runner, but you aren't allowed to win. You can dip your foot in the pool, but you can't have a swim. And you want her, and she wants you... but it just ain't happening. And guess what? No one, no one, no one ever, is to blame.

Howard Jones got the idea for this song in 1985 on a trip to San Francisco, when a friend asked him about the women in San Fran. When Jones said he found them great, the friend said, "Well, you can look at the menu, but you don't have to eat." And it was a song after that.

(14) "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
Oh Whitney. Oh, dear, sweet Whitney. I'm not ready to discuss this yet--I truly do feel, no joke intended, that a piece of my music loving soul passed.

Moving on.

(13) "There's a Light In Your Eyes" by The Blessid Union of Souls
"It's been a while since I've seen you, how have you been? Did you get my letter I wrote you that I did not send?"

To me, a quite simplistic, yet painful line. Its about a guy who is fondly remember his woman, the one who left. Perhaps she left because he was a jerkweed, perhaps she left because she knew she herself was a jerkweedette, or perhaps its over because... well, sometimes things just don't work out. Sometimes relationships just don't happen. "I've been thinking and here's what I've come to conclude... sometimes the distance is more than two people can use..." And the dude singing has this great melodic voice that just fits perfectly. Perfectly painful. There's a light in your eyes, did you leave that light burning for me?

(12) "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers
"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. Its not warm when she's away. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, she's always gone too long, anytime she goes away."

Such a simple song. Maybe two verse, an undefined chorus and 25 uses of the words "I know". Yet, Bill Withers in his soulful smoothness sings the pain of the heart, the missing of the woman he loves. Because when she's gone, its dark everywhere, especially in the heart. One of my 25 favorite songs of all time.

(11) "I'll Be Okay" by Amanda Marshall
"...I want you to be happy, you're my best friend. But its so hard to let you go now, and all that could have been. I'll always have the memories, she'll always have you. Fate has a way of changing when you don't want it to."

From the soundtrack of a pretty good movie, that being "My Best Friend's Wedding", this is a little known artist named Amanda Marshall... like many artists, big in Canada, not well known here. Its all about the fun of watching your best friend, the one you are in love with, the love of your life, not only love, but end up with someone else. I only know of one other song by Amanda Marshall, that being "Birmingham", but this one is the one to remember.

Next... The Police, sort of.  Gloria returns.  A Broadway staple.  A reverend.  The Top Ten Saddest Songs Ever.

100 Greatest Songs of the 2000s (Part II)

(Preface... this was written on Monday and Tuesday of this week.  Wednesday, the Lovely Steph Leann was admitted to the hospital for labor pains, essentially, and I didn't get to finish tweaking this for posting.  So here I am on the 6th floor of the Brookwood Women's Center, the new one, in a quiet room, and I wanted to finish it up... so here ya go...)

And we continue with our countdown... first, a few reminders--this is a five part Vh1 show, I've already covered Hours 1, 2 and 3 (which you can read here), I've got Hours 4 and 5 coming up below, and just so you know, I'm seeing each song on the countdown for the first time... meaning, I haven't seen the list and know what's coming.  I write it as I watch it appear.

Let's keep moving, with the 40th greatest song of the 2000s decade, according to Vh1...

40... "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" by Fall Out Boy (2005)
I cannot tell you for certain that I could name any song by Fall Out Boy... and I keep thinking of "Number One With a Bullet"... wait?  That's this song?  (the song is playing on the tv and they just got to the "blah blah something merry go round something number one with a bullet")

So this song is not called "Number One With a Bullet"?  Its called "Sugar, We're Goin' Down"?  Perhaps I should have had my late teens in this decade, and I'd probably know more.   Personally, I like "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger.

Incidentally, one of the guys in this band, Pete Wintz, is the host of this entire countdown show.  And he's terrible with a bullet.  His hosting career is going down, down... see what I did there?  Good one, d$!

39... "Chasing Pavement" by ADELE (2008)
Man this chick can sing.  Actually, I didn't discover her until "Rollin' in the Deep", which freakin' rules.  And ADELE is amazing, because she has this special quality that not alot of pop stars have nowadays... talent and a good voice.

But though I know what a pavement is, I am unclear as to why you'd need to chase it.  It doesn't move much.

38... "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus (2009)
Um...

Maybe you should listen to the song about 114 times, and maybe that's the breaking point.  That's the threshold.  After that, you like it.  

Uh...

Did you know that this song had a resurgence on the charts when Osama bin Laden was killed?  To me, that's the final insult... you are this powerful leader for decades, causing fear, death and destruction in your reign, and your death is celebrated by your enemies with a Miley Cyrus song.  Ha!

Me?  Oh, well, I, uh... I hate this song.

No, I don't know all the words, why would you ask such a foolish question as that?  You silly.

Um. No, I don't put my hands up when they are singing my song, and the butterflies fly away (butterfly fly away).  Uh, no, I don't have the video.  Why would... check my iPod?  No, that's private.  Why would you want to do that?  

I think I just saw Chris Hanson, so let's move on.

37...   "Oops!... I Did It Again" by Britney Spears (2000)

"Baby, One More Time..."?  Absolutely.  "Sometimes"?  Heck ya.  "You Drive Me Crazy"?  Sure, why not?

"Oops!... I Did It Again"?  No way.  Terrible song.  And was a terrible entry in the Christina vs. Britney battle.  I mean, who likes crappy, catchy pop junk like this?  (why are you scrolling up to re-read #38?  Come back)

36... "Bye Bye Bye" by *NSync (2000)

Dude.  This song flippin' rules.  I ain't even joking.

Get past the boy-band part of it, and JT, Joey, Chris, Kirkpatrick and NancyLancey could own it.  And this song was awesome.  As a guy, liking the Backstreet Boys was straight-cred destruction.  However, liking *NSync was just normal, cause we all like them.

However, my affection for this song may not be so much the song itself but the redux done a few years back by the cover band *NStynk...

35... "Daughters" by John Mayer (2004)

Fathers, be good to your daughters, don't let them near John Mayer.  

I like John well enough--I really dig "Gravity", "Clarity", "No Such Thing" and of course, "Your Body Is a Wonderland"--but this song not so much.  I think its about ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

34... "All For You" by Janet Jackson (2001)

Yeah!  Love me some Janet!  At least, Janet before the infamous Wardrobe Malfunction at the Super Bowl.  I think she's more of a punchline now, but back in the day, especially back in the 90s, you had "Rhythm Nation" and "Miss You Much" and "Control" and one of my all time favorite songs ever, "Love Will Never Do (without you)"... she's fantastic.

And this song is pretty good too.  A little dirty, though, so don't really study the lyrics.  Have you ever read the lyrics to "If"?  Great song, sounds awesome, and it frustrated me that she sang so fast, I couldn't understand them... so I looked them up.  Holy crap.  I blushed.  I mean, its like, down and freaky.  Wow.  So now you know.

33... "Hurt" by Johnny Cash (2003)

Wow.  So, I feel like cracking wise about this particular song, and Johnny Cash at the time he sang it would be akin to making fun of the opening battle scene of "Saving Private Ryan", or the ending to "Schindler's List" or anything serious and depressing like that.  Not that "Hurt" compares historically to those particular times in our nation's history itself, but you get my drift.

So I won't.



But what I will say is this:  This song, this video, is a pre-death eulogy.  Cash had a successful, but at the same time hard and even horrible, life.  He did this song after his wife, June Carter, had passed, and he passed not too long after.  The video is crushing.  Film clips of a younger him, celebrating, not knowing that some of his life would be so wasted, clips of June Carter and their relationships, so happy yet so stormy and rocky... and the lyrics are so, so moving.  This is truly one of the few songs out there that I would classify as "painful" on so many levels, and I don't even have a connection to the song, other than I have a soul and am not dead inside.

Hurricane Rhett would make fun of this entire piece.

32... "This Love" by Maroon 5 (2004)
I really, really wanted to not like this song.  I wanted to hate this song, and as a result, hate Maroon 5... but I can't help it.  This song is kinda fun, kinda catchy.   And Maroon 5's music is actually not bad.  It's not revolutionary, but it does stick with you.

Sing it with me... This... love... has... taken its toll on me... she says goodbye too many times before (oh-whoa-oh)... everybody!

And Adam Levine gets some major play... at least in his videos.

31... "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse (2007)
Okay... "Amy shoulda gone to Rehab!  Ha!"  There, I said it.  Oh, and, "We tried to make her to go to rehab, and she said No!  No!  No!"  See what I did there?  I kill me.

30... "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani (2005)
Fine.  I'll admit it.  I love the dang fool out of this song.  Its addicting, Gwen is awesome, its stupid, its catchy, its poppy, its ridiculous and it forever changing our mental processes when it comes to fruit.

What with the number one song be, Gwen?  Ah!  You are keeping
yourself from blurting out the answer!  Good job, girly!

Much like any mention of a chick named Stacy, you'll think about how going on her mom has it, a mention many times of a banana will elicit this thought:  Its bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Were I a chick, a cheerleader, gay or all three, this might be my anthem.  I frikkin' love this song.

Still unclear as to what a "Hollaback" girl is, and what makes one "hollaback".  Not sure.

29... "Best of You" by The Foo Fighters (2005)
I guess while I was making time with Gwen and hollering back, I missed this entirely, because I've never even heard this song, like ever in my life.

Don't get me wrong, I dig the Foo Fighters, and "Learn to Fly" is in my Top 100 all time, I think Dave Grohl is awesome, and hearing a snippet of this song, I like it too... but I've never heard  it.  Maybe I should have listened to 107.7 the X more often.

28... "Music" by Madonna (2000)
This song sucks.  So does Madonna any time after 1998.

That is all.

27... "Yeah!" by Usher, feat. Lil Jon and Ludacris (2004)
Another ridiculous, stupid, moronic song with no redeeming value that I just simply love and sometimes will blast out of the Red Robin, making sure my speaker colored thumping lights are thumping like a twitchy ninja, when it comes on.

YEEAAAHH!!  OOOHKAAYYYY!!!

Kick that, rewind it back, Lil Jon, Luda and Ur-shure got the beat
that make yo' booty go boom!

Gotta tell ya, Usher... underrated talent.  I know, I know, he's sold a bajillion records, though like Nickleback CDs, I don't know anyone that owns one... but Usher doesn't get a ton of mentions when discussing great voices.  He's good.  He's really good.

Then you toss in the stupid stoopid Lil Jon, who says, "The chorus of this was easy.  You just say Yeah... then Yeah... then Yeah... and Yeah again.  We kind of ad-libbed it."   And finally, Ludacris in a cleaner form, at least in his lyrics, and you've got a legendary dance hit.

26... "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes (2003)
Yes, I have heard of them.  I just feel like I'm not hipster enough to like The White Stripes.  She & Him, sure.  Ingrid Michelson, yep.  The White Stripes?   I've not only not heard this song, I've never heard OF this song.

25... "Hot In Herre" by Nelly (2002)
This made me laugh loud.  Serriously.  I've trried to tell my darrling wife, "hey, its getting hot in herre, so take off all yourr clothes", and in the real worrld, it doesn't worrk.  Sorrry.

Let's be rreal herre... I didn't go to a ton of parrties in college, and even less in high school, so I'm not what you'd call, "A Parrty Going Experrt", but I can tell you this from my limited experrience... Chicks that tell you "I am gettin' so hot I'm gonna take my clothes off" are few and farr between.  But when you do stumble acrross such a chick, you might be tempted to think, "Awesome!", and perrhaps at 19, I would have thought that.  Howeverr, I'm old enough to know now that if such a statement is spoken by said chick, its a good bet she has done this beforre, lest you think you arre the test case for this scenarrio.  And in thinking she's prrobably done this beforre, its not a long leap to assume she prrobably has an STD.  And although chicks with venerreal diseases arre still people too, that would be someone you want to be fully clothed.  I'm just sayin'.

24... "Get Ur Freak On" by Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott (2001)
As much as a I hate this song, its a good reminder that I am a total music hypocrite, and even snob.  As much as I dig on "When the taxi man turned on the radio and a Jay-Z song was on... a Jay-Z song was on... a Jay-Z song was on!" and goofy lyrics as such, sometimes the lyrics are just too stupid for even me.  And when they are forced together to make a rap, its bad.

Like this song.  Man, do I hate this song.  I hate everything about it.  I hate that beat.  I hate that she hocks a loogie in the middle of it.  I hate that in the video, she spits in a man's mouth... "In yo' face... open yo' mouth, get you a tays..."  I hate the fact it uses "Ur" for "Your".  I hate the video.  I hate the fact I heard this song 3813 times in 2001.

Let's move on before I throw this nearby Katy Perry CD through the window.  I wish I were kidding.

23... "Get the Party Started" by P!nk (2001)
I can't say I hate this song.  I really can't say I like it, either.  I actually could just take it or leave it.  I'm not sure that apathy is what P!nk was going for.

However, I am considering changing my name to dav!d.  Its a thought.

22... "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys
Okay, I have several things to say about this song, but first, I must tell you that I do really like this song.  It think its a career-defining masterpiece.  And I did use the word "Masterpiece" because that's how its performed.

However comma

Have you ever heard the expression "Could sing the phone book and still sound amazing"?  That's what this song reminds me of.  Allow me to put on my lyrical snobbery hat again, and just tell you, I'm bothered by how simple some of the lyrics are.  "Sometimes I love you, sometimes you make me feel blue"?  Really?  "I never felt this way.  How do you give me so pleasure, and cause me so much pain"?  Each verse is only, like, two lines!  Am I being overly dramatic in wanting a little deeper meaning in my lyrics?

No matter... Keys is amazing in this tune.  You know what, forget I said all that.  I love this song.

21... "99 Problems" by Jay-Z (2003)
If you having girl problems, I feel bad for you soon, I got 99 problems but a (crude term for someone of the female persuasion) ain't one...

How is this okay?  Isn't this song a little misogynistic?  Am I being overly critical here?

20... "Toxic" by Britney Spears (2003)
Ugh.

Really?  Really?  10,000 songs in a decade and this is the 20th best of all?  Seriously?

19... "Bootylicious" by Destiny's Child (2001)
Sigh.

And they just keep getting better, don't they?  Okay, so this song is fun, and by far better than "Toxic" will ever be, and for the record, I pick Kelly Rowland over Beyonce any day, but I can't put this in my own personal Top 20.  Or 50.  Or 100.  "I don't think you ready for this jelly..." is a fun line, though.

By the way, because of this song, the term "Bootylicious" was added to the dictionary.  This is why the terrorists hate us.

18... "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera (2002)
Two things:
First... it is a good song.  Yes, we've heard it a thousand times, and in 2002, that was per day, but when it comes down to it, it really is a great tune.

Second... I'm happy she beat out "Toxic".  Unlike Britney, Christina has a great non-studio produced voice.  Love it.

(sidebar... I'm reviewing this part of the list with The Lovely Steph Leann, getting any feedback, and with Maroon 5, she simply said, "Oh, I like that song"... but with this one, the floodgates freakin' opened... "Oh my gosh, I hate that Aguilera song!  I hate it!  Hate it!"  She then proceeds to sing it in a horrible mocking screeching tone, accenting the word "beautiful" in a terrible pitch.  She then ends her tirade by saying, "Hate it."  Don't hold back, Steph, tell me how you feel.)

17... "Clocks" by Coldplay (2002)
Who doesn't like this song?  Seriously?  And if they do a 100 Greatest Songs Intros of Like, Ever, you'd have to see this song up there somewhere.

But let's be clear--I, you, maybe even them, have no idea what this song even means.

16... "Single Ladies (put a ring on it)" by Beyonce (2008)
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!
All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies! 

(is it in your head yet?  yes?  mission accomplished)

Excuse me Taylor, Imma letcha finish... but Beyonce had one ada greatest videos of all time!

(and yes, I do like this song.  its fun.  even the lovely steph leann likes it)

15... "Beautiful Day" by U2

Dear Bono,

That's enough.  You've had your run, and its been a great one.  U2 is one of the biggest bands in the history of the world, and we all know it.  Your music will live forever, and transcends generations.  Your album "The Joshua Tree" is immaculate.  Songs like "With or Without You" and "Streets Have No Name" and "New Years Day" and even later stuff, lesser known stuff like "Mysterious Ways", is music I am excited to let Campbell Isaiah and/or Lorelei Addison experience. [which we now know as Campbell Isaiah only]

But Bono, its 2011. Apparently you put an album out recently, and no one even knew about it.  Its time to step away.  Its time for you to free up more time for Darfur or the rain forests or Ensley or whatever, and allow Larry Mullen and Adam Clayton time to do more music for Mission Impossible movies, and to say, "Hey, The Edge, its time for us to part."  Let it go, Bono.  Its time

Signed, 

d$

Not sure if this is a performance of "Crazy", and I'm
not sure if that is Danger Mouse in the trooper outfit,
but either way, the picture is cool. 

14..."Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley

Holy crap this song is awesome.  Like, every beat, every second, every minute detail, every word of this song rulz to the maximum allowance of ruling.  "Crazy" is fan-flippin-tastic.

Were I to give my own 2000s list, its easy to put this Top 25, maybe even Top 15.  Cee-Lo Green has this unusual, cool as grits voice, and Danger Mouse is just cool for having the nickname Danger Mouse.  

13... "American Idiot" by Green Day (2004)

I knew this song would come up, and I was dreading it, mostly because I hate it when I throw up in my mouth. And I just did.

These are the same guys that had an album called "Dookie", and sang about going to a shrink and being told that lack of sex will bring you down.  Yes, people can, and do, change.  I get that.  But really, BJ Armstrong, can you just sing your fun songs and quit telling me that liberals are awesome and conservatives suck?  

Sorry... just threw up in my mouth again.

12... "I Gotta Feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas (2009)

The first time I ever heard this song, all I could think of, "This is going to be a party anthem and/or a sports anthem and/or a celebration anthem for ages to come."  When B-list celebrities in 1981 were sitting around and discussing the best songs of the decade just completed, I'm sure that someone was saying about "Rock and Roll Part 1" by Gary Glitter the same things they are saying about "I Gotta Feeling"... "Party song..." and "This song is the ultimate going-out song" and "I gotta feeling..." and such.

Personally, I'm a little flabbergasted that "My Humps" hasn't shown up yet... however, we have 11 more to go...

11... "Umbrella" by Rihanna feat. Jay-Z

My main issue with Rihanna?  How her name is spelled.  When I hear her name, I automatically think Fleetwood Mac's classic "Rhiannon", which was an outside consideration for my kid's name (thought I never shared it with The Lovely Steph Leann.  Probably a good thing.)

She's very talented, though through no fault of her own, its a little disconcerting that all of her songs keep breaking all sorts of sales and chart records, and I'm bothered by this.  Why should Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" fall to whatever getting-it-on tune Rihanna is blathering out?

That said, this is an addicting song.  You know, Umbrella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey...

If this doesn't get stuck in your head, I have this to say:

All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!  All the single ladies!

Your welcome.

AND NOW, Vh1's TOP TEN OF the 2000s...

10... "In Da Club" by 50 Cent (2003)

Really?  Like, really?  

9... "We Belong Together" by Post-Skank Mariah Carey (2005)

I have often referenced my inclination to Pre-Skank Mariah and how awesome she was over Post-Skank Mariah, so I won't go into it.. but I will say that everything after 1997's "Butterfly" album is pure skank.  Notably, the song "Honey" is where it all took a turn for the ho.

This song brought her back around again for me.  While not my favorite Mariah (that's a tie between "Vision of Love", "Dreamlover" and "Always Be My Baby"... or maybe "Fantasy"), its vintage.  Its a throwback, yet just hip enough to be in the 2000s.  Ah, pre-skank Mariah, may we see you again soon.  

8... "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys (2009)

This is a quite a love letter to a city... a New York City Anthem, and I'm not sure why the city itself hasn't adopted it as its City Anthem.  

And Alicia Keys is awesome, as always.  I can listen to this song over and over and over, and have.  Great, great song.

7... "Sexyback" by Justin Timberlake (2006)

Oh no he di'nt!  Oh no he di'nt!  This song is my jam, y'all, MY Jam!

Okay, not really... but I can see a few of these songs listed on this countdown not necessarily for their artistic merit, but more for their importance, and this song was a monster.  Timberlake had broken free from *NSync, and was on his way to superstardom, had some huge hits, and then a few years later, released "Future.Love.Sex.Sounds", and this was the lead-off single.  And a catch phrase was born.

Its not even so much that "Sexyback" is cool, it is more that Justin Timberlake singing this is cool.  And how many people do you know have used the term "I'm bringing sexy back..."

6... "Gold Digger" by Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx (2005)

Dude. This song.  Like, this song.  Can't help it.  For all the punk that Kanye is and can be, this song is fantastic.  

Here's the scene... 2005 Video Music Awards.. I was watching (don't ask me why) and out of the floor of the stage rises one Kanye West and one Jamie Foxx, looking all cool and sleek, posed and frozen.  Suddenly, Jamie starts into a "She takes my money... when I'm in need..." then the beat kicks in, and I watch one of the coolest live performances I've ever, ever seen.   And its this song.

I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger... she ain't messin' with no broke (broke)

Do me a favor... holla "We want pre-nupt!" (we want pre-nupt!)

I love love love this song

5... "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson (2004)

Everyone likes this song.  Some people love it, some only like it a little, but to some degree, everyone likes this song.  How can you not?  Its infectious like the basement of the CDC...

The Lovely Steph Leann has joined the room for the Top Ten, and she's over on the couch bobbing her head, watching with total interest.  And when this song comes on the radio, I sing along.  And so do you.  Kelly might never have been better before or since... though I do enjoy "Behind These Hazel Eyes".  Love me some Kelly Clarkson.

4... "Lose Yourself" by Eminem (2002)

We've now hit the first song on this entire countdown that I could make an argument for being the #1 song of the decade.  This song... amazing.  And he even won a stinkin' Oscar for it.

Now, my favorite Eminem song is quite simply "Without Me", a totally hilarious, yet quite incredible rhyme... but "Lose Yourself" might be his actual best work.  I saw "8 Mile" not too long ago, and its not that bad.  

And when Em sings, you believe it.  He's blowing the mic away, he's jamming, he's just rapping and singing with so much ferocity, and you really get into it.  And if you knew the words, you'd sing along, though you probably don't know the words.  

3... "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga (2008)

Sigh.

I have come to accept that Gaga is here to stay.  Perhaps in 1982, fuddy duddies like me were saying the same thing about that new Madonna chick that just came up on the scene... and now, here's Lady Gaga.  

Okay, she's got a great voice.  And "Bad Romance"?  I'm a sucker for it.  And yes, this song is pretty good.  It's catchy.  But #3?  Really?  

2... "Hey Ya!" by Outkast (2003)

Now... if I had to list a "Greatest Songs of the 2000s" and "My Favorite Songs of the 2000s", this song would be #1 on the former list, #2 on the latter list.  "Hey Ya!" is one of the best songs ever performed, crossing all genres of awesome.  Even The Lovely Steph Leann likes it, and she don't go for the blasted rappin' crappin music!  She says, "Its not rap, its pop.  I like pop."

The video?  Best of the 2000s, in my Top Five All Time.  There are EIGHT different Andre 3000s on the stage, and he even manages to slip in a few scandalous lines towards the end (don't read the lyrics if you don't want to know, though its nothing too terrible) but the song is so fun, you don't even notice.

It shows a Beatle-type frenzied performance by the band Andre 3000 and The Love Below, consisting of eight members:  Possum Jenkins on bass... Johnny Vulture on guitar (yes ladies, he's still single)... Benjamin Andre (on keyboard)... Dookie on drums... Andre (ice cold) 3000 on lead vocals... and, of course, The Love Haters on backup vocals.  And all are played by Andre 3000 himself.

And yes, the song asks you to shake it (you can determine what "it" is) like a Polaroid Picture, and Polaroid had to come out with a statement that said, "Hey ya, you used to coulda shaken our pics, but don't do it anymore, you don't have to."

I love this song, man. I really do.

And finally...

1... "Crazy in Love" by Beyonce feat. Jay-Z (2003)

This song?  Beyonce singing along with her babydaddy?

Uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh

No no no

I'm conflicted... while I don't think it should have been the top song of the entire decade, I can't make much of an argument against it--heck, I sing this song sometimes at work.

As Vh1 shows clips from the video, I can only surmise one observation... well, two.  First, she jiggles alot.  And honestly, I'm not sure I'm ready for that jelly.  Secondly, there must have been a heckuva lot of double-sided tape used in those particular outfits.

Great song.  Great choice.    

And there you go.  The Top 100 Songs of the 2000s... agree, disagree, its not my list, its Vh1.  What's my list?  That's a great question... perhaps soon...