Today, Colbie Caillet's new CD, "Gypsy Heart" made it's way into my CD player this morning, and it's excellent. Today as I was driving to my office, I thought of Colbie Caillat, and how she has a new album out. I had already made up my mind that I would purchase it, and figured I would just download it...
...but I just didn't want to do that. I am okay with downloading songs, and I'm okay with borrowing a CD from someone, "ripping" or burning it to my laptop for my iPod... but if I buy a CD, I want it in my hands. I want to open the plastic with some sort of sharp tool, or stretch the plastic until it comes off.
I want to open up the CD and pull the disc out, look at the cover art on the disc, then look at the liner notes. Are the words to the songs in the notes? (not for "Gypsy Heart") I will scan the songwriting details and see if any name pops out. (Caillet had a hand in writing all of them, and a few features Babyface Edmunds, one of my favorite R&B dudes from the 90s). Sometimes the whole packaging will have a new papery smell to it, so I take in that aroma. I scan the "thank yous", just to see if anything looks cool--and yes, sometimes I notice if they thank "Jesus", or just "God", or nothing at all.
There is just something about having the physical CD in my hand. That is, when I actually buy an entire album. I can imagine this is how someone felt in the 70s and 80s, when buying a brand new record album, taking it home and putting on "Frampton Comes Alive!" or the latest Johnny Cash album onto the record player.
Here's her latest, called "Try"
I don’t buy much music… or should I say, I don’t buy a ton of CDs anymore. A few years back, The Lovely Steph Leann and I went through a CD purge, selling several hundred CDs, donating the ones that wouldn’t sell, and getting rid of lots of cases to put the rest in an album.
There were some that I did keep in the case, though… and we still have over a hundred CDs in towers, and probably 300 or more in a huge CD wallet. One that we never even look in anymore. And we never look in there anymore because all of those songs are my iPod. Yes, I have a 160gb Apple iPod, and it currently contains , according to the “about” screen on the iPod, 16237 songs, 174 videos and 140 various episodes of various podcasts.
And the songs are all over the map… for instance, I’ll go to songs and hit shuffle, then it the next button ten times… this is what just came up…
Something Good This Way Comes by Jakob Dylan
I Want It All by Ashley Tisdale, from the High School Musical 3 Soundtrack
It’s All Coming Back to Me Now, by Celine Dion
How Long by The Benjamin Gate.
Every Step of the Way by The Monkees
I Have a Dream from the Mamma Mia! Broadway Soundtrack
Velcro Fly by ZZ Top
Letter Home by The Forester Sisters
Burning of the Midnight Lamp by Jimi Hendrix
Pomp & Circumstances, March 1, 2 and 3 as performed by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, for Fantasia 2000
It’s a bit ridiculous, really… aside from the Celine Dion song, and maybe The Forester Sisters, I don’t know that I’ve ever actually listened to any of those songs on my iPod. Well, I’ve probably heard part of the Mamma Mia! song, but probably as I was skipping past it to get to the other songs I like better.
I remember my first CD ever… well, there were two. “The Hit Songs of Andrew Lloyd Webber” as performed by the various Broadway cast members in their respective songs… and the “Pulp Fiction” soundtrack. My first box set ever was “Listen to the Band”, a retrospective collection of The Monkees. Incidentally, that was also my first purchase with my brand new Discover card. It was historic, in that it was a historically bad decision, but that’s another story for another day…
CDs have always been something of a special thing for me. I mean, vinyl records are as well, but perhaps that is more so now because they are more rare and collectable… I’m not sure how collectible Debbie Gibson’s “Electric Youth” on vinyl is, but I have it, so there’s that.
Cassettes were a little different, seemingly a little more expendable, as they seemed to have a life on them. I’ve had tapes break or get worn out before, and had to replace them, and you could copy those, taking away some of the mystique, some of the air of “you can only get this at the store” elitism of it. When I was in junior high school, I would borrow friends cassettes, record them onto a Memorex or, as my tape of choice, Sony blank cassette. Then I would walk the block to the library, pay 25 cents and make a photocopy of the tape’s liner notes. Then I would very carefully cut the black and white paper out, very carefully fold it, and then insert it into the cassette case. Though the cover wasn’t color, it was nearly as good in my mind.
I did this with Europe’s “Final Countdown” album, borrowing it from my friend Daniel Stephenson in 7th grade. A year later, he offered to sell it to me for five dollars, which I took him up on it, paying him $1 per day for a week. The cover was slightly bent, but when I asked him about it, Daniel, already a big, stocky dude, replied, “Don’t say anything about that… that happened when you did that copier thing to it.”
In the late 80s to the mid-90s, I also dove into the Cassette Single, or “Cassingle”, trade, collecting 204 over the course of those years. My first was Guns N Roses “Paradise City” in 1988, bought during a trip to Wiregrass Commons mall after a math tournament trip (this was a team that I didn’t make in high school)… and my last was “Crush” by Jennifer Paige in 1998, bought for $1 at some forgotten music store—Sam Goody, Coconuts, On Cue, who knows.
The Enterprise, Alabama, WalMart Supercenter was one of the first one of it’s kind in the country when it opened in the late 80s, and in front of it, in a little strip building that houses four or five small stores, was Starship Records & Tapes. My friend Greg and I would go there frequently and pick up whatever just came out… he turned me onto the Stone Temple Pilots, so I got “Core”, their first album, on cassette there, along with whatever other Cassette Single came out that I wanted. Starship was a great place… and has long since closed.
The joy of removing the plastic.. and Colbie
does the paper case, which eliminates that
annoying label that goes across the top
that makes you break your fingernails to
peel off sometimes. This is a great album
CDs used to cost anywhere from 15 to 20 bucks per, and they would come in this long box that was a musical version of potato chips. The CD was in a case the size that you see today, but it would have another six to 10 inches of packaging to it, mostly empty air. At the Walmart in Geneva, the first CD I ever picked up and held was Paula Abdul’s “Forever Your Girl” in 1990… they had about 25 different CDs behind a Plexiglas wall, with holes where you could stick your arms in and pick up the CDs for a look—but the holes weren’t big enough to fit the CDs back through, so you had to get an attendant to open up the case, and they would ring you up right there.
A few years later, they got rid of the big “long boxes” as they were called, and went to plastic casing that had to be “unlocked” by the cashier. It would encase the CD, then have another square of plastic under it, probably for presentation purposes. Contrast that with today, where you go to WalMart and see an enormous cardboard bin with 100s of CDs in it, just piled up every which way and again, with a big “ONLY $5” sign on the side.
The CD was truly my high school and college generation. Sure, I had tapes as a younger dude, but when I drove, all I wanted was a car with a CD player in it. My first several cars didn’t have that, so I had to use a cassette adapter to plug into a CD Walkman that I had on my passenger side seat—usually sitting on something soft like a t-shirt or a towel, to help cushion it from skipping too badly.
I didn’t get a CD player in my car until 2008… and ironically enough, I would love to have a tape player in my car now. I gave away all of my 100s of regular cassettes, but am stubbornly holding onto my 200+ cassette singles, even though I have absolutely no way to play them anywhere.
Don’t get me wrong… I love my iPod. Its probably one of the top five most important, most influential purchase I’ve ever made, it revolutionized the way I listen to music from the first day I bought it and loaded it up, and with the advent of podcasts and audiobooks in the last few years, it’s completely changed my entire mentality on music and what I listen to…
Ten years ago… even five years ago, really, before I got an iPhone, I had to wait until I could purchase a song or an album I wanted… but now? If I like a song, I download it immediately. Last night, I heard Taylor Swift’s new song, “Out of the Woods” had been released. So at 11pm last night, while I was waiting for something to download on my iPod, I looked on my iPhone and bought it for $1.29. And then I saw Pitbull’s “Fireball” video, so I grabbed that too. And then Taylor Swift’s video, “Mine” was on sale for 99 cents… so I spent $4.50 on music just because I wanted it.
A few weeks ago, I had a song running through my head that went something like, “LA international airport… where the big jet engines roar…” A silly song, for sure, but it was in my head… so I went to iTunes, looked it up, found it was a 70s country song by Susan Raye. Spent 99 cents and downloaded it. Listened to it twice, satisfied my nostalgia, and now its among the 16K on the iPod.
But sometimes I feel like... we've lost an era. We truly have.
And now, I'm going to listen to "Turn Your Love Around" by George Benson and "Bang Bang" by Jessie J featuring Ariana Grande, both of which I randomly downloaded today.
After months and months and months and months and weeks of waiting, this is it. The 2nd to last episode of this glorious season of American Idol. And truly, it has been glorious, as this has been one of the best seasons to date... granted, I would have liked it better to see Colton Dixon taking on My Next American Idol Elise Testosterone, but I can deal with Jessica Sanchez and Phillip Phillips, and one of them being the winner this season.
Anyway, lets get this sucker a'going, shall we?
THIS IS
THE AMERICAN
IDOL FINAL
PERFORMANCE
SHOW OF THE
SEASON THIS
YEAR THIS SEASON
Yes, tonight is Wednesday night, and in real time, Idol would be into its hour and fifteen minute mark, probably on its 28th group song and 9th random celebrity performance by someone who ten seasons ago wouldn't be caught dead on this show, but now can't wait to peddle their new projects via the Idol stage...
But, The Lovely Steph Leann and I still have to watch The Performance Show... so let's get that going first... and thankfully, its an hour long, so we can be through it via DVR's magical Fast Forward, in about 45 minutes.
We see an opening video of both J-Sanch and P2 as they worry about their auditions, sharing the same dream and all that... and how they get their Golden Ticket, then off to Hollywood, then surviving Hollywood, then making it to the 11th American Idol Finals.
As the judges make their way down the steps to thunderous applause, The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, "Oh gosh... what is J-Lo wearing? That's terrible..."
Here comes the Idols themselves, Phillip Phillips looking like he's late for class, just woke up and is racing to English across campus... while Jessica Sanchez, 16, looks like she's trying to dress older and sexier to get into The
First round is Simon Fuller's pick... good time to make an appearance, Simon Fuller. And his choice for J-Sanch? "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston, one of my top three or four favorite Pre-Crack Whitney songs ever... of course, its from "The Bodyguard", my 56th favorite film of all time... man, do I love me some Bodyguard. And that ending? Its so cheesy, but so good... Rachel is on the plane, Frank is watching from the tarmac and she is watching him watching her, and she makes the pilot stop the plane, and she races down the steps to Frank and they start madly kissing each other right on the runway and... love it.
Oh, the song? Good enough.
The judges will give their take at the end of the round.
For Phillip2, the song he's been assigned is Ben E. King's classic "Stand By Me". Good movie. No, seriously. It came in what, 1986, and I remember watching it on HBO like, two years later. Back then, movies took at least a year or more to get on home video, and a good year or year and a half to premiere on pay cable channels. Now? "Safe House", which The Lovely Steph Leann and I watched at the theater in January just came out on DVD/Blu Ray. And on Starz in Sports, I'm seeing "Moneyball" over and over, the same one we saw in theaters in September 2011.
Anyway, I loved "Stand By Me". Back when Wil Wheaton, Corey Feldman and River Phoenix had so much potential and promise... but if in 1988, you told me the most famous of those four, all these years later, would be Jerry O'Connell, I'd tell you you were nuts. And now? Not so nuts.
The song? I didn't dig it. A little drainy nasally for me.
J-Lo rambles on about something or another I wasn't listening to, and Randy the Dawg says that J-Sanch won Round 1. I agree.
Now, we are treated to some junk from Jason Derulo, the dude with the blingy neckbrace. I tried to care about two seconds before I hit the --> button.
Here's Round Two, with the Idols Choice from This Season
And to liven up the stage, to make sure we know she's hip, current and modern, J-Sanch is singing... Celine Dion's late 90s soft ballad "The Prayer". Wait... what?
Okay, so, I have a will-be-six-months-old baby in my life right now. As does The Lovely Steph Leann. We are exhausted all the freakin' time... we get five to six hours of sleep per night, but its always in two hour blocks. I say this to point out that "The Prayer" is the wrong song to sing if you want us to fully engage in this performance.. we are both just as likely to fall asleep. But since I'm doing a recap, I will try and stay awaZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
(rustle)
(that snorey cough sort of grunt, then a slight twitch)
ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz... what... huh?
Oh, its over. That song made me tired.
Now, its Phillip2's second song, singing "Movin' Out", from Billy Joel week. I loved Billy Joel week, and I loved hearing the different renditions of the songs, and here's what I said about this version then:
We come back from Break, and its Phillip Phillips! Tommy
Hilfiger tells Phillip2 that he needs some fashion help, and Phillip2 simply
says, "Eh, I keep it simple."
The song he'll be doing is "Movin' Out
(anthony's song)", another great tune that I know all the words too... my
favorite line is "Sergeant O'Leary is walking the beat, at night he becomes the
bartender... he works at Mr. Cacchatories' down on Sullivan Street, across from
the medical center..." Diddy and Jimmy Iovine tells him to put down the guitar
as he sings.
So, Phillip2, wearing grey, is singing the song while
holding his guitar. He adds a rockabilly twist to the song, and I'm not sure I
love it... I like it, I don't hate it... it was just... weird. A good weird,
but weird nonethless.
Kinda feel the same way. Better than "The Prayer".
Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler, who speaks for the first time 30+ minutes into this episode (!), says he liked it, but gave Round Two to J-Sanch... J-Lo gives it to P2... and Randy the Dawg calls it a dead heat. I agree with Jennifer Lopez. Did I say that?
And finally, Round Three... Songs They'd Release If They Won
Remember, this is the part of Idol that gave us "Flying Without Wings" and "Inside Your Heaven" and of course, "This Is My Now"... so instead of singing the same song, both Idols are given a different song that they'd release...
Jessica Sanchez has "Change Nothing", which I can only assume is some sort of "inspirational, don't change anything about me" kind of song.
J-Sanch: I don't wanna change nothing!!!!!
Me: Shouldn't that be... "I don't want to change anything?
The Lovely Steph Leann: (pause) Well... yeah
J-Sanch: I don't wanna change nothing!!!!!
The Lovely Steph Leann: This is a horrible song. They are always bad, but this is horrible
J-Sanch: I don't wanna change nothing!!!!!
The Lovely Steph Leann: If Phillip Phillips has a better song, he can win this. This song is terrible.
Randy the Dawg: I didn't love the song...
The Lovely Steph Leann: ...that's because the song sucked.
And she's right. It sucked. J-Lo didn't even like it. Creepy Uncle Steven didn't like it. And J-Sanch sells out the producers by saying that she wouldn't have picked that song.
To end the show, here's the song Phillip2 would release... a song called "Home". Can they never find songs for the Idols to release that have any kind of quick beat to it? Its always ballads!
That being said... and in 11 years, this is the first time I've ever said this... I like this song. I could totally hear this song on SiriusXM's Coffeehouse Channel, or even The Blend. Plus, Phillip2 has the percussion section of a marching band on stage!
"Home" is the most original "gonna release" song I've ever heard. That was really good. Really, really good. The Lovely Steph Leann says, "That was the most original original song on Idol ever."
Round Three, by far and away, and for the entire night too, goes to Phillip Phillips. And I think after that, he might just win this. She was right.
Best to Worst... "Home" by Phillip2... then, way after that, "I Have Nothing" by J-Sanch... lets be real--nothing else was that good.
Controversy. Its no stranger to America's favorite show for years and years. Remember Frenchie, the big black diva who had lude pics of her pop up on the interwebs? And that dude who claimed he got a little freaky deaky with Paula the Flake? And we've had numerous Idols who have been let go from the show directly because of legal violations and things such as that, especially when they hide things from producers. Why these guys don't come clean to begin with, I'll never know... with the power of the interwebs, Google and even Wikipedia, you can find just about anything out about anyone else.
Enter Big Daddy Jermaine Jones. He had a little brush up with the law last year, including outstanding warrants for stuff involving assault and such. AND he told producers that he was abandoned by his Daddy when he was 10, which didn't make sense to Daddy Jones, who says he talks to his son all the time. When producers of Idol found this out, they became suspicious and did some digging, and viola! Law problems.
But that doesn't stop Seacrusty!
THIS IS
AMERICAN IDOL!!!
Tonight's theme is "Songs from the Year You Were Born", which we are told will be from 1983 to 1994... The Lovely Steph Leann gasped. "No more 70s!!"
Jimmy Iovine is back in the hizzy, and this time, talking to Will.I.Am to help mentor the Idols.
First up, in the lead-off spot, its Phillip2, who was born in 1990. Phillip2 is telling Jimmy Iovine and Will.He.Is that he's got to head to the hospital to get surgery for kidney stones. Wait... what?
But he pushes through! He will be singing The Black Crowes "Hard to Handle"... thats from 1990? Wow. And another Wow is that he sounds pretty good... he isn't moving a lot, but he seems like he's recovering well.
The judges rave about him and the fact he's back and sounded good.
Last week, J-Sanch dominated the show by dominating "I Will Always Love You"... this week? She's picking "Turn the Beat Around", the Gloria Estefan version from 1995. I was a sophomore in college, heading into my junior year. I was 9 days shy of 20 when J-Sanch was born. It always makes me feel old to know I could be this kids dad.
Jimmy Iovine and Will.I.Am have told her she is a "Swaggernaut". No Will.I.Am, no Jimmy. No, you dont'. That's horrible.
After hearing this song several times in the last few seasons of Idol, I'm convinced that you cannot do a "blow the audience away" version of this song. Plus, her pants look like a disco ball threw up on them. Not good times.
That was terrible. How did she fall that fast in a week?! Creepy Uncle Steven didn't like it, enough to garner boos. J-Lo loved the pants, told her is was just so-so. Randy the Dawg lifts her up by telling her she's one of the greatest in this season's Idol, but then bursts her bubble by saying "Eh."
J-Sanch then tells us that from 1995, she didn't have alot to choose from. Which, I can totally believe that, actually.
Now, we have our resident class clown, Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better), who is taking on some Richard Marx... "Right Here Waiting", probably the quinessential love song from 1989.
I think Richard Marx is somewhat underrated as an artist, because he truly had some memorable pop hits... I say this in all seriousness, I'm not joking here.
My favorite Richard Marx song is "Hazard", but I do enjoy "Endless Summer Nights", and I even have the 45 of it... I also like "Shoulda Known Better" and "Don't Mean Nothing".
All that being said, I can imagine Will.I.Am's thoughts when an Asian, Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better) takes on one of the whitest songs in the history of the world... "What kinda white fruit booty song this is?"
Now, I managed to type all of that during his performance because... well, its boring. The best part about this entire thing is his gawd-awful bow tie thing he's going on. And that's saying something.
Randy the Dawg says it was the wrong song for Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better)... J-Lo says she felt his heart... Creepy Uncle Steven says it was a bit breathy and outside of his circle.
Back from the break, its Elise Testosterone! She's coming back after a bad week in which she almost went home... thankfully, she didn't though, because I am rather fond of E-Test at this point. I mean, she's not Baylie Brown! (long live Baylie Brown!) but she'll do.
Now, The Reverend Al Green did the immortal and amazing classic "Let's Stay Together" in the early 70s, and we've already deduced that no one was born before 1983--Elise Testosterone herself--but E-Test is actually covering Tina Turner's cover of Al Green's "Let's Stay Together".
Receiving last week's only save of the season, as she sat on the Bottom Two with Jeremy Risotto, I'm hope that E-Test will bring it. In other words, Will.I.Am just said the word "inner Negro". Then they do a split screen with E-Test and He Who Must Not Be ReElected. Yes, that one.
And she is doing awesome... starting out slow atop a piano, she brings it, channeling her inner Negro and becomes my favorite of the night thusfar.
The judges just all loved it, as they should.
And, in the low point of the night, its D'Kenny G, born in 1994. And here's what Annie on EW had to say about D'Kenny G:
A woman had come up to DeAndre Brackensick's parents and predicted that he would someday be on American Idol when he was 4. Four!!! I just thought you might need another reminder of how young these kids are, and how old you are. Gosh are you old. DeAndre struggled with song choice this week, and I think he should have gone with his original idea, "Can You Feel the Love Tonight," instead of Mariah Carey and Luther Vandross' cover of Lionel Richie and Diana Ross' "Endless Love." No teenager has ever heard of that song. Trust me, I know all of the teenagers. Not really; I know less than 10, and sometimes I read their Facebook updates but only because we're related.
I think he should have gone with the Lion King song, if only for the Mufasa mane connection. Get this kid off of the stage before I go through myself into a wildabeest stampede.
J-Lo says it was sung beautiful. Blech. She says that Jimmy Iovine steered him wrong. Creepy Uncle Steven says it was the wrong song. Randy the Dawg says it was wrong, and boring.
Shannon Magrane was born in 1995. Again, I'm old.
Jimmy Iovine gives her the song he suggests by using the fourteen word name of the phone he's holding up, while Will.He.Is looks on to the product placement. No Doubt's "Don't Speak" is what they are pushing, but she vies for "One Sweet Day" by Boyz II Men and Mariah Carey.
I worked at the Carmike 10 in Montgomery, Alabama during the fall of 1995, with Bobby Black and Lisa Turk, and when I would do a stint as a ticket taker, I'd hear this song during "Movie Tunes". Understand that "Movie Tunes" was on a 30 minute loop. So I'd hear this song about 10 to 16 times in a shift. Maybe that's why its not one of my favorites by Boyz or Mariah.
J-Lo says that her (Shannon Magrane) singing Boyz and Mariah terrified her (J-Lo), and Randy the Dawg agree. The he says, "America has fallen in love with you". Why do I feel like that just signed her death warrant? Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler says it was good too.
Let's hear from Colton Dixon now, who tells us about how awesome it was to meet one of his own Idols, Chris Daughtry. Born in 1991, Colton Dixon is going to be singing a song by White Lion. No, not "Wait", which would have frackin' ruled. And not "When the Children Cries", which is probably good. Will.He.Is says, That song, Broken Heart, no one knows... the band barely knew that song..."
Whatever this song is, Colton Dixon is owning it, and sounds like he stepped right out of 1991's radio airwaves. I say this to The Lovely Steph Leann, and she replies, "Yeah (pause, then sigh). Back when music was good."
J-Lo says she had never heard this song, but loved Colton's version. Creepy Uncle Steven says, "I think it was the wrong song for your voice and your passion..." Randy the Dawg says that Colton was dope.
Catching up with the mid-80s, its Erika Van Pelt! I do love me some EVP. She's going to throw down on the rocker ballad "Heaven" from Bryan Adams in 1985. As EVP starts sing, the video screen behind her as this weird staircase behind her, moving upward, and as she moves forward, it makes an odd dynamic. I'm lost.
Now, she's singing the fool out of this song and sounds great, but I feel like she will not truly own the week until they do a Heart themed episode. I'd love to hear her version of "Barracuda" or maybe "Crazy on You".
Creepy Uncle Steven tells her it was too busy, and a bad arrangement, but he loves her voice. J-Lo says she didn't like the arrangement, but loved her. Randy the Dawg says basically the same.
And Seacrusty busts up with the info about Big Daddy Jermaine Jones. And in a ratings ploy a serious interview, they essentially blindside him on camera by the producers, who sit him down and run through his charges while sitting in front of him, and then say, "You didn't reveal this to us." Big Daddy Jermaine says he was never in a fight, he just fell, but was charged over a disagreement.
Lesson? You get on Idol, you tell the producers EV-AH-REE-THING. The Idol producers tell him that they are not allowed to have anyone on the show who have outstanding warrants and they let him go. Then they show him throwing down on "Somewhere Out There" during rehearsal. I hate to see this guy go. Why couldn't freakin' DeAndre be busted for crack or something?
Okay, back to the performances, here's Little Skylar Laine, who tells the judges "Y'all are being mean!" They should all thank their stars that Simon Cowell is long gone, because he would eat some of these kids for breakfast.
Skylar Laine was born in 1994, and is doing Bonnie Raitt's "Love's Sneaking Up On You". Jimmy Iovine and Will.I.Am suggest Coolio's "Fantastic Voyage", which although would be stinkin' awesome, it would also have the potential to be a flaming debacle of hippo poop. Which would still be awesome.
Gotta tell ya, this is one of my least favorite Bonnie Raitt songs. She does it well, just don't like the song.
Creepy Uncle Steven loved it. J-Lo loved it. Randy the Dawg loved it.
Seacrusty introduces Joshua Ledet, and mentions how Joshua Ledet misses crawfish from back home, and then they wheel out a huge bucket of crawfish. Seacrusty is just being shellfish.
Joshua is from 1992, and is singing "When a Man Loves a Woman", the Michael Bolton version. I'm not sure I like this whole "singing a version from a certain year that is a remake of a song that came out 20 years earlier."
The Lovely Steph Leann agrees with me. See, Joshua Ledet is sounding more like Percy Sledge than Michael Bolton here.
Joshua rips off his jacket and keeps rolling, and let me just tell ya, he just owned the stage and simply dominated. What J-Sanch was to last week, Joshua was to this week.
Randy the Dawg just dropped the "Oh my gawd!" like, then J-Lo says, "The best thing I've seen on American Idol". Then Creepy Uncle Steven just gushes for a minute or so.
I agree. He just brought it.
And in the pimp spot tonight, its Hollie Cav, who was born July 5th, 1993. I was headed towards Troy State's orientation that weekend, and met Lisa Turk and Cyndi Bledsoe that night. Awesome.
What is she doing tonight? Celine Dion's "The Power of Love", a song loved by most females 28 and up. Hollie Cav almost looks stunning, but huge strips of fabric are missing from the part of the dress that cover her legs, thighs and bum.
J-Lo says, "You and Joshua... saved the best for last, huh!?" Creepy Uncle Steven invokes the name of God and Heaven for the 49th time this episode in describing Hollie Cav, and Randy the Dawg says she just blew this song outta the box.
Here's how I rank 'em...
Joshua Ledet's "When a Man Loves a Woman"... Colton Dixon's "Broken Heart"... Elise Testosterone's "Let's Stay Together"... Hollie Cav's "The Power of Love"... EVP's "Heaven"... Little Skylar Laine's "Love's Sneaking Up on You"... Phillip2's "Hard to Handle"... Shannon Magrane's "One Sweet Day"... Hee Jun! (he'll take a sad song and make it better)'s "Right Here Waiting"... J-Sanch's "Turn The Beat Around"... whatever crap D'Kenny G did tonight.
"Its just another sad love song, racking my brain like crazy. Guess I'm all torn up, be it fast or slow, it doesn't let go or shake me... and its all because of you..." -- Another Sad Love Song by Toni Braxton
Well, here we are, six full years later, and its time to revisit. So for this Valentine's Day, I wanted to give you my new list, this time, The 25 Saddest Songs Ever... many of the songs are the same, just lower or higher, but since in six years I've gained several new readers, this is new to you!
Broken into 2 parts for length and time (I've got just long enough to finish this before The Lovely Steph Leann wakes up, meaning Campbell wakes up on the couch and I've got to feed him. And her), here is numbers 25 through 11... the top ten will be listed in a day or so. I promise.
Note... these are all about heartbreak. There are many songs out there about abuse and suicide and death and tragedy and destruction and such, but I centered only on the loneliness, despair and ache that can only be felt with a broken heart... except for one song, which will be explained when we get there. So no "Its So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday" by Boyz II Men, a song about death.
Honorable Mentions... "She's Always a Woman" by Billy Joel (too much like #23)... "Unbreak My Heart" by Toni Braxton (overplayed to the point that its lost its punch)... "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins (too easy)... "Superstar" by The Carpenters (too stalkery).... and "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss (too drunky)
(25) "Somebody Lied" by Ricky Van Shelton "Hello? Yeah, this is me. Lord, its been a long, long time. I know this ain't no social call, so go ahead, get it off your mind. You heard what? Well, it ain't true. I was here most all last night... I got over you the day you left, could it be somebody lied?"
Talk about a gut wrenching song... this dude gets a call from his ex-chick, and his ex is like, "Dude, I heard you been asking about me too all our friends... what the crap, yo?" and he is like, "Naw, that ain't me. Somebody been lying to you." And then she's like, "Man, I been done heard you been like, crying and all to all of our peeps, yo." And then, he is like, "Naw, I ain't shed a tear in years. And that I talked about you? That is crazy... I ain't even noticed you be gone, yo."
Then, he asked, "... so, if they were true, what would it matter to you, would it change the way you feel? If the rumors were right, would you be here tonight, to help this old heart heal? But, don't worry, it wasn't me. Just someone who's world was torn in two. Someone who looks alot like me, and loves someone like you."
(24) "I'll Be There For You" by Bon Jovi "... I guess this time your really leaving... I heard your suitcase say goodbye... and as my broken heart lies bleeding... you said true love is suicide..."
Ouch. Jon Bon Jovi's growly voice kicks in after a memorable twangy opening, then spends the next five minutes or so simply begging and pleading for her not to leave.
But she ain't having it. She says she's cried a thousand rivers, but now she's swimming for the shore.
(23) "Secret Garden" by Bruce Springsteen, the "Jerry Maguire" version "...I was just about to tell you... that I love him. I DO! I love him! And I don't care what you think, I love him for the man he wants to be, and I love him for the man... he almost is! I love him, Laurel. I love him. I love him."
That line is spoken in the depths of the movie "Jerry Maguire", one of my 100 favorite films of all time, and also at the very beginning of this version of the highly underrated Bruce Springsteen song. Its a song all about a chick who is distant, who is secretive, who lets her man in only so far, then pushes him away... while the dude himself yearns to be closer to her. "She lead you down a path, there'll be tenderness in the air. She'll let you in just far enough so you'll know she's really there..." Sad, sad.
I frakkin' love this movie. No joke.
(22) "Don't Close Your Eyes" by Keith Whitley "...don't close your eyes, let it be me, don't pretend its him in some fantasy. Darling, just once let yesterday go, you'll find more love than you'll ever know. Just hold me tight, when you love me tonight, and don't close your eyes..."
So, not only does this guy have to suffer through having a chick, being in love with this chick even, that he knows has a previous man... but he has to suffer with the knowledge that even though she is with him, she's thinking of her previous man! What!? What what?! So rather than telling her to hit the bricks, he actually just begs her to just stay awake, because if she closes her eyes or goes to sleep, she'll think of her old boo. Sad. And even worse, I've been there.
And its even worse that Keith Whitley ended up drinking himself to death a few years after this monumental hit.
(21) "With or Without You" by U2 "see the stone set in your eyes, feel the thorn twist in your side, and I wait... for you."
I echo my sentiments from six years ago... You chicks are evil. Seriously.
(20) "Separate Lives" by Phil Collins and Marilyn Martin "Oh, its so typical, love leads to isolation. So you build that wall (build that wall), you build that wall, and you make it stronger... you have no right to ask me how I feel. You have no right to speak to me so kind. Someday I might find myself looking in your eyes. But for now, we'll go on living... separate lives."
Whew. Written by Stephen Bishop (a soft pop guy from the early 80s, had a hit with "It Might Be You" from "Tootsie"), he dated Karen Allen, who we know as the love interest from the first and fourth Indiana Jones movies. They had a bad breakup, and Bishop wrote this song after actually calling her from his hotel room--which is in the song. Ouch.
(19) "I'll Never Get Over You (getting over me)" by Expose "...I try to smile so the hurt won’t show… tell everybody I was glad to see you go…"
Talk about someone who can’t let go! Here’s a chick who is just watching her man go about and have a good time, she has watched him not only move on, but also forget about her. From 1992, its Expose’s last hit on the charts.
By the way, Expose falls under that Pat Benetar category of "Artists that you never realized had so many songs that you like"... I mean, Expose was a pretty big deal in the late, late 80s and early 90s... "Point of No Return" and "When I Looked at Him" and of course, their biggest hit of all, "Seasons Change", which is an awesome song.
FYI... I played this song as I broke up with a girl my freshman year in college. What a douchey move, I admit it. Sorry. I was 18.
(18) "Can't Let Go" by Mariah Carey "...you even realize the sorrow I have inside, every day of my life? Do you know they way it feels when all you have just died? I try and try to deny the way that I feel but still you remain on my mind…"
From the 1991 album “Emotions”, here’s Mariah Carey’s ode to losing someone… not just losing someone, nay nay! Losing someone and not being able to move forward! Losing them and watching them be with someone else! Now this song was Mariah’s 6th single ever, but the first to not make it to #1, as it stalled at #2. The song that kept it from #1? All for Love by Color Me Badd.
(17) "I Can't Stay Away from You" by Gloria Estefan & The Miami Sound Machine "...and I don’t wanna be your second choice, don’t wanna be just your friend… you keep telling me that you’re not in love, you wanna throw it all away…"
From 1988, the album Let It Loose, its Gloria Estefan AND the Miami Sound Machine. This one is heartbreaking because not only does she lose her boo… not only is he moving on… not only can she not move on… but she can’t stay away from him. She can’t stop thinking about him. She wants him to call her up and say “I need you too”. Its just so… so painful.
Is there a better band name that "The Miami Sound Machine"? That's an awesome name. I think if the Miami Dolphins ever had a good defense, they could call it "The Miami Pound Machine". Wait... that sounds wrong. Never mind.
(16) "Nothing Broken But My Heart" by Celine Dion "If you ask me how I'm doing, I'm fine. All I needed was a little time.... so if you think I still need you, baby, I really don't know why... but if you see me, nothing's broken... nothing's broken but my heart."
Here's my absolute favorite song by Celine Dion… from her self titled album released in 1992, it’s a tune about a bad breakup. She herself has moved on, just like her man. She’s gotten herself together, she’s started a new life and all that rot. But still… she finds herself reflecting and says, “you know, you might think my world has ended, but really… nothing is wrong. Except for the fact I have a broken heart.” And there it is.
Dig the Vh1 logo in the corner. Old school.
(15) "No One Is to Blame" by Howard Jones "You can see the summit, but you can't reach it. The last piece of the puzzle, but you just can't make it fit... doctor says your cured, but you still feel the pain, aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain..."
Its all about being attracted to someone you just can't be with. The entire song is filled with contradictions--you can be the fastest runner, but you aren't allowed to win. You can dip your foot in the pool, but you can't have a swim. And you want her, and she wants you... but it just ain't happening. And guess what? No one, no one, no one ever, is to blame.
Howard Jones got the idea for this song in 1985 on a trip to San Francisco, when a friend asked him about the women in San Fran. When Jones said he found them great, the friend said, "Well, you can look at the menu, but you don't have to eat." And it was a song after that.
(14) "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
Oh Whitney. Oh, dear, sweet Whitney. I'm not ready to discuss this yet--I truly do feel, no joke intended, that a piece of my music loving soul passed.
Moving on.
(13) "There's a Light In Your Eyes" by The Blessid Union of Souls "It's been a while since I've seen you, how have you been? Did you get my letter I wrote you that I did not send?"
To me, a quite simplistic, yet painful line. Its about a guy who is fondly remember his woman, the one who left. Perhaps she left because he was a jerkweed, perhaps she left because she knew she herself was a jerkweedette, or perhaps its over because... well, sometimes things just don't work out. Sometimes relationships just don't happen. "I've been thinking and here's what I've come to conclude... sometimes the distance is more than two people can use..." And the dude singing has this great melodic voice that just fits perfectly. Perfectly painful. There's a light in your eyes, did you leave that light burning for me?
(12) "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. Its not warm when she's away. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, she's always gone too long, anytime she goes away."
Such a simple song. Maybe two verse, an undefined chorus and 25 uses of the words "I know". Yet, Bill Withers in his soulful smoothness sings the pain of the heart, the missing of the woman he loves. Because when she's gone, its dark everywhere, especially in the heart. One of my 25 favorite songs of all time.
(11) "I'll Be Okay" by Amanda Marshall "...I want you to be happy, you're my best friend. But its so hard to let you go now, and all that could have been. I'll always have the memories, she'll always have you. Fate has a way of changing when you don't want it to."
From the soundtrack of a pretty good movie, that being "My Best Friend's Wedding", this is a little known artist named Amanda Marshall... like many artists, big in Canada, not well known here. Its all about the fun of watching your best friend, the one you are in love with, the love of your life, not only love, but end up with someone else. I only know of one other song by Amanda Marshall, that being "Birmingham", but this one is the one to remember.
Welcome to Hollywood Week! The audition rounds are over! The Hollywood Single Elimination Round is about to begin! Now, even though I've watched three hours of Idol in like, two days, I'll tell ya that I have no idea who is who and what is what. If The Lovely Steph Leann were here, she could help me remember, but she's in Pensacola, so we'll figure it out together, eh?
THIS
IS AMERICAN
IDOL
HOLLYWOOD
So, 327 Golden Tickets were given out, and are converging to Hollywood for the chance to chase their dreams. They cash in the Golden Ticket for a shot onstage, to be told "You are through... to the next round..." or "You are through... and are going home..."
J-Lo and Steven Tyler come into it all smiles, but Randy the Dawg knows better. "You get ONE shot. Bring it."
The come out in lines of 10, they will sing acapella and will get no feedback. They will then be told Yay or Nay. From New Orleans Auditions, Brett Lowenstern is a ball of nerves, but busts out "Let It Be". The rest of the line sings, then out of the first 10, three goes through. Seven go home.
And it begins.
Casey Abrams
Rachel Zevita, from New York, sails through. Thia Megia gets her second round on. Casey Abrams gets a quick YES.
Ten more walk out. And the Incredibly Annoying Victoria Huggins is up now. In her little video, she's talking about staying a while, and brought ELEVEN suitcases for the long haul. And the other girls are looking at her like she's an idiot. Judgment time comes. And she doesn't make it. Yeah, she's pretty annoying, but ya still kinda go "awwwww" when you see her tearing up while hugging her mom.
We see James Durbin (who, in real time, was seen on a show that was almost a week before this, but in tonight's blogging, I saw fifteen minutes ago) and we see Paris Tassin, who has the little girl with the hearing disability. Paris belts out Celine's Titanic, and James does "Oh Darlin". And here comes Stormi Weathers, or whatever her name is, and sings "Why Don't You Stay". And here is 15 year old Lauren from Georgia, singing, "Unchained Melody". James steps forward upon hearing his name called. Lauren steps forward. Paris steps forward. Those three continue on, while the back seven, including Stormi, are cut.
Funky Chris Medina, with the disabled girlfriend, probably the most dear and affecting Sob Story I've ever seen on Idol, is up now. Maybe I don't know if he should win. Maybe I don't want him to hit the final 24. I dunno. But I want to see him get past this round. Funky Chris Medina steps forward, after singing "You and I Both" from Jason Mraz... and he gets through. I'm sincerely glad. Sincerely.
Montage of nerve wrecked auditions, including lost lyrics, shaky hands, thumping heads, and Hollie Cavanaugh, Robbie Rosen and young JC Badeaux, who does "God Bless the Broken Road" (and gets cheers from the chicks in the audience). Robbie Rosen does something smooth and bluesy, and Hollie manages to get through her little tune too. All three get through.
Steve Baghun, the boring accountant, comes out in the next line of 10, doing Michael Buble. He doesn't make it, along with three more. We see more familiar faces that I barely recognize and won't even remember by midnight tonight that get cut and end up in tears.
One guy is telling us, "Its tough... (through tears)... its really tough... because I have nothing..." See, if you have nothing and are banking all of your life into a show that offers a very slim chance to give you any future, even if you make it to the second round of auditions, then you need a life plan. Just sayin'.
Just heard the words "Glee catches Beiber Fever". Wanna ensure I won't watch Glee this week? Use those words.
Montage of more forgotten lyrics, botched notes and "OMG... I cannot believe I missed that..." The contestants backstage get to watch the contestants onstage, and the pressure is mounting. We now get the chick and the guy who broke up and are auditioning together, and are bunking with Nick and Jackie, who was that lovey dovey couple from a few episodes ago. Rob, the ex, is singing, "I"m So Lonesome I Could Cry". Chelsee, the other ex, is singing something else, and I just noticed that they are in the line with the red headed Brett Lowenstern, the first guy in the first line who sang and got through. Look at y'all, Fox, doing some clever editing.
Nick, the boyfriend, is up now and from the previews, he won't make it, because he begs the judges for another shot. Jackie, the girlfriend is singing much, much better. And Nick steps forward with one other guy. Jackie stays in the back row, name not called. And Jackie makes it, Nick is cut. And like the previews, he begs to sing one more time. Randy the Dawg reiterates, "Like we said, One Shot. Sorry." And what does Nick do? He starts singing in the aisle. Jackie shakes her head and walks away. This is like a Lifetime Movie.
Smashcut to them backstage, both crying. I'm guessing that Nick is upset that Jackie is not more upset, and while she is upset that her boo ain't making it, she moves on. And there some joy in that, right?
From Milwaukee, 17 year old Scotty does the song he did in his original audition, this little country ditty that showed his deep voice. Jackie Wilson, the white country girl, not the 50s soul singer, also does some country, and both make it through.
So, here comes the chick with the stars on her boobies, in the last line for judging. Tiffany Something or Other says, "I am tired of seeing people trying to do what I know I can." The contestants in the audience all look around and look affronted, as they should. Were I the judges, I'd cut her fast. Travis Orlando, from Jersey, is the one who has lived in and out of shelters, and I kinda am rooting for him.
Cut to the judges deciding, J-Lo comments on "What she said makes her not likable".... Travis steps forward. And misses the cut. Tiffany makes the cut. We might have an enemy now.
Out of 327, 168 of them get another shot. And the next show? The Group Round.
HOLLYWOOD PART II
Its Group Round Time! This is one of my favorite parts of the entire Idol process, because this is where we see all the people who are complete strangers, save for the friendships they might have forged in, you know, the last day or two, try to jel and perform together... some will stand proud and emerge as favorites. Others will fall apart, clash and one bad contestant can ruin the dreams for several others in two minutes.
THIS IS
AMERICAN IDOL
The 168 who made it are filed back into the auditorium, are told they must form groups, coordinate the routine and learn their song they chose together... all in one single night. Some contestants were already forming their own groups and had started working on routines to get ahead of the curve, only to be thrown a slick curveball of their own... all groups have to be a mixture of Day One and Day Two auditioners. Which means a scramble of groups who split up, calling out "We need a Day Two Boy!" and "Day One Girl? Anyone?!"
Brutal.
Tiffany Rios
Tiffany Rios, the "I'm tired of seeing people try to do what I know I can do" chick, can't find a group. No one wants her. She says, "I actually can join any group I want, but I want to find the right one," but no one wants her at all. She runs into Deep Voiced Scotty and asks him about his group. He says, "Sing for me?" and she says, "Sing for you? Like you are the prize? You should sing for me..."
The drama continues as groups are swapping, stealing Day One and Day Two contestants from other groups Even one group ends up audition Day Two contestants to join their foursome of Day Ones... Tiffany gets on the mic to find a group, and no one wants to join them. Deep Voiced Scotty can't find anyone to join. And a group called The Sugar Mamas can't find a Day Two. And time is a'wasting.
Remember... they are all fresh off being told they made it. Its late, they are already clashing in groups, and some can't find anyone to join. The night is wearing on, and more time wastes. They all have to be ready the next day, the next morning in fact, to sing for the judges.
Dude, I love this stuff.
Tiffany and her partner can't find a third, and have to get the producers to let them slide on having just two in their group. I forget the name of the chick with her, and I like her, but I'm willing to see this chick fail to have this Tiffany chick bite the dust.
Groups like The Guaps, The Minors, The Hits and more all are desperate to find a place to practice, with some groups being in the mens bathroom, some going to the hallways and still others going to the parking garage.
Ashley Sullivan
Ashley Sullivan, who is like 24, but looks like a 42 year old Waffle House waitress who smokes, even up and quits, leaving The Hits down a member. She has a meltdown in front of a producer, and the other girls in her group are being remarkably supportive.
Deep Voiced Scotty joined The Guaps, and it seems like his addition making it a fifth... and then they ousted 15 year old JC Badeaux, who was part of the original group. One guy made the decision, the girls kinda wanted to keep him, and JC is now scrambling while looking for a group, tears in his eyes. That was kinda harsh.
Jordon Dorsey, who was "auditioning" other people to join his group, looks like he's ready to leave that group. He joins up with Four Plus One, while the old group gets in sync without Jordon. 230 in the morning. Overdramatic Ashley tries to rejoin The Hits, but they have been already rehearsing without her.
Brett Lowenstern is a member of The Sugar Mamas are still down a member, and end up finding Day Two kid JC Badeaux... I'm happy this kid found a group. Its 3am and some groups turn in to get some sleep. At 420, other groups continue, like Three's Company, who include exes Rob and Chelsee and Nick-less girlfriend Jackie, and their group is on the verge of a meltdown.
The sun comes up, and the contestants rise after three hours, two hours, one single hour of sleep. And the groups are try to keep rehearsing into the morning. Thirty nine groups are going to do their thing for the judges, and the stage looks menacing. They wait silently in the theater, they are present... but are they ready? Let's find out.
Dude, I love this stuff.
Steven Tyler and J-Lo give them a pep talk, and Randy the Dawg, speaking from experience, yells out "Don't ever... forget the words!!"
Up now, three chicks that I couldn't pick out of a lineup or tell apart, are up first... and they sound fabulous singing "Grenade". That was a great way to start out the Group Auditions. The judges loved it, and looks like they are all going through. Pressure is off.
Four Plus One, which includes Jordon Dorsey, who abandoned his group 4-40, looks like they are up next. 4-40 is talking trash about Jordon and Four Plus One. Might be a gang war brewing. Four Plus One starts their song. Remember, the judges aren't seeing all the drama and who did what, and who's character shone and faltered in the previous night, all they see are the results. As one contestant put it, "The judges don't care if we lost a member and had to start all over, they just want to hear us be good." And all of Four Plus One makes it through.
Now, its 4-40, singing "Forget You" by Cee-Lo. Love this song. I just heard a lyric get mixed up, so that's not good. Lauren, who mixed up the lyric, steps forward, as does everyone else, and they all get through.
They keep showing the good songs and good performances, but you know the bad stuff is coming. And here comes Tiffany Rios and her partner, Jessica Yance, who had to get permission from the producers to just do a duet because they couldn't get anyone to join them. And it warms my heard to hear Tiffany Rios be completely off key during Beyonce's "Irreplaceable". Randy the Dawg even stops them from finishing because they were so awful. And they both get cut. YAY!!!!!
Members of the group Spanglish have to go retrieve one of their members who was still asleep, and leave the judges waiting. Its four Hispanic Americans, by the way. And they all sound terrible. Two of them make it, two of them don't, including the guy who overslept.
Centerstage brings out four chicks who invite Steven Tyler to come sit onstage in a chair. They bust out with "Some Kind of Wonderful", and bringing Steven Tyler onstage was a brilliant move--anyone else that tries it will be met with rejection I'm sure. They leave a room full of contestants wondering "Why didn't we think of that?" And only one of them make it through. Cue the song "Cryin" by Aerosmith.
Its 1145 in the morning, and The Nashville Stars take the stage. They all came from the Nashville auditions, as the five begin to sing. Some are shining through. Some are falling apart right in front of our eyes. One guy, Colton Dixon, makes it though. The other four are done.
More bad notes, more forgotten lines, more off key melodies, more bad dancing, more J-Lo hanging her head, more Randy the Dawg shaking his head, more Steven Tyler wincing.
Paris Tassin, with the disabled daughter, gets cut. More tears from more contestants, including Emily Anne Reed with the cool voice. And Aaron gets cut while his brother Mark advances. More breakdowns in the hallway after the news. Sad.
Dude, I love this stuff.
This Hits take the stage, with Overdramatic Ashley, and begin. Strangely enough, they are singing "Hit 'Em Up Style", and somehow it kinda works. Even Overdramatic Ashley gets it done, though she seems really out of place. Randy the Dawg says they are the best harmonized group so far, and they all go through.
James Durbin (L) and Funky Chris Medina (R)
The Minors are getting insight from The Moms--not a new group, but the mothers of the The Minors, and it has to be annoying. Five moms, five opinions. First up, though, The Deep Vs, who are singing "Somebody to Love", and The Deep Vs contain James Durbin with the crazy note. And it didn't go as well as you'd like. Ryan Seacrest even looks around like "whaaa?" J-Lo says it sounded like a bad glee club. James makes it through with one other guy, and three of The Deep Vs go home.
The Moms get to the camera and criticize, then praise their own kids, The Minors, who come up next, also singing "Somebody to Love". And The Minors end up getting it done, and The Moms are quite happy that "they bay-bays did it right..." The judges give The Minors a standing ovation, and they all get through.
And honestly... yeah, they were really good. Really, really good. I wish The Moms would leave, but The Minors were really great.
Its 4p, and outside the theater, the remaining groups continue to practice. Three's Company isn't, however, as poor Rob is passed out on the sidewalk.
Back inside, one guy is singing off a little card in his hand, and Randy the Dawg mutters to J-Lo "He's gone". Another guy in the group looks all over the place while singing, while J-Lo yells, "Look here!" and Hollie Cavanaugh is just all over the place. But Hollie makes it, as does a guy named Corey.
The Night Owls come up, featuring Casey Abrams and Julie Zorrillo choose to sing without music, doing "Get Ready" by Smokey and the Miracles. Julie and Casey make it, the others don't. Here comes Ebony, Ivory and Emory, also singing "Get Ready", also singing acapella. This is the group that contains Naida Adepalodpla. And they all make it through. Steven Tyler says, "Every bit of it was beautiful."
Up next is Four None Blondes and That Guy, which might be the best name of the night. Notably, its the group that has Funky Chris Medina, and all practiced in the ladies room all night. Seeing Carson Higgins, a pasty white surfer dude sing "Forget You", with sass no less, was hilarious. And awesome. Out of the five... four of them make it, including Carson and Funky Chris Medina. The one who didn't make it, Devyn Rush, is upset and is just begging into the camera to get back in the room, and feels like "I don't deserve to go home." But... she is.
The day is waning, as its 6pm. More groups are cut, all featuring people that we've never seen and will forget in about five minutes. But here comes the group that took in JC Badaeux, after he was kicked out of his group in the middle of the night. Sugar Mama and the Babies come out, singing Duffy's "Mercy", a song that JC had never heard of just 12 hours prior. And JC forgets his words, and ends up singing the line "I dont wanna go home" right in the middle of the song."
Randy the Dawg asks what happens, and Sugar Mama and the Babies tells them how JC got kicked out. And in one of the best moments of the whole doggone show, everyone's name is called, including JC, and they all go through. JC starts tearing up on stage. The audience erupts in applause.
Dude, I love this stuff.
Now, its the group that kicked him out. Randy the Dawg drills them about kicking out JC, eliciting boos from the audience. Deep Voiced Scotty pipes up and says, "Its my fault for not standing up for him. He's the best kid in this competition." So the group starts, led by a guy we formerly liked, Clint from LBC, who was instrumental in kicking out JC. But, they all make it through. Deep Voiced Scotty made it, but is tearing up in the hall, saying, "This whole thing with JC... its a bad feeling...."
Exes Rob and Chelsee. Rob went home, Chelsee stays,
and though she says they will always be friends (all
chicks say that), Rob just walks off. Seems like it really
is over.
So far, 38 groups have taken the stage and we've seen 67 contestants be given their walking papers. Last is Three's Company, which you know that Fox has left for performing last to stretch out the drama, and they've succeeded. Girlfriend Jackie and ex Chelsee are confident, while ex Rob is struggling. "Forget You" is their little ditty. Chelsee might just be singing to her ex Rob, while ex Rob can't even get the words out. Jackie even sings a little uncensored lyric, with a bleep. Randy the Dawg just stops them midsong. Ex Rob is going home, while Ex Chelsee and Girlfriend Jackie move on. Good for Chelsee. Time to shed the dead weight, honey.
100 contestants are left. Tomorrow night, its solo night, and half the group will be shed.
And we are back... I'll fire up this DVR and discuss the rest of the Top 100 Greatest Songs of the 1990s, as ranked by Vh1! Along the way I'll share some memories, some stories and maybe you have some of your own...
Keep in mind, I don't know who is on this list... everytime you read about a new song, I have just found out what that song was, and don't know what the next one is...
Read The Greatest Songs of 90s, Part I with Songs 100 to 48
47. "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch
I guess I heard somewhere that Mark Wahlberg doesn't like to discuss his "Marky Mark" days... and part of me can understand why. I mean, he's a white guy rapper, something that until Eminem, would get you lumped in with Vanilla Ice, Snow and the like.
But another part of me wants him to be doggone proud of this ditty. "Good Vibrations" isn't bad, its not even so-bad-its-good, its just a good, good song. And most girls I knew loved them some Marky Mark when he did underwear ads and did this video. He didn't actually wear a shirt from 1994 to 1998, I believe.
I came across this video in iTunes, and let me tell ya, I didn't think--I bought. Immediately.
I've made this point before, but really? If
you've ever seen Mutt Lange, you'll know
that Shania, left, is the best he'll ever do
and the chick on the right is more his type.
46. "Your Still the One" by Shania Twain.
Oh mah gawsh... this song was everywhere. You couldn't get away from this song. But for every bit of eye candy that Marky Mark was to the ladies, Shania is the boys.
Its funny, though, to hear Shania talk about this song and her hubby Mutt Lange, as this show was done in 2007-ish. This was, of course, Mutt so stupidly traded in his Ferrari for a used 70s Pinto.
45. "Only Wanna Be With You" by Hootie & the Blowfish
HOOOOOOOOTTTIIIIEEEE ROOOOOOCCCKKKKSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But when Darius Rucker says, "Ain't Bobby so cool?", who is Bobby? Never got that.
44. "Killing Me Softy" by The Fugees
Pras, Wyclef Jean and Lauryn Hill... The Fugees. And for everything the original was, this song is not. The original, while classic, is so freakin' slow... the update by The Fugees made it cool. Made it relevant. Made if fun.
Sang this song in karaoke back in the early 2000s or something. Actually, I didn't sing it, Alexandra Milner did. We were at Common Ground back in the day, doing a karaoke night, and Alex and I hopped on this stage... and she sang it beautiful. I did the "one time time"... and then the "two time time" part. Cause I wanted to help.
43. "My Lovin' (your never gonna get it)" by En Vogue
Who just started singing "oh your never gonna get it, no your never gonna get it" as soon as this song came on the television? The Lovely Steph Leann, that's who, not even looking up from her laptop.
This was pre-Destiny's Child, and early-to-mid 90s. There was an abundance of chick groups that came out about the same time, including En Vogue, but also Jade (don't walk away boy, my love won't hurt you, no no!) and my favorite, Sisters With Voices, aka, SWV (can't explain why your loving makes me weak...)
42. "Shine" by Collective Soul
From the album "Hints, Allegations and Things Left Unsaid", an album that I couldn't afford to buy in 1994, but I ended buying in like, 2004, because I felt like I should own it.
This song is also awesome, with a great chorus, and lots and lots of "YEAH!"s. Da da da dada YEAH! Da dada dada da da YEAH!"
It is a great song, but my favorite Collective Soul song? "Heavy". Man oh man is that song great to drive with.
41. "Two Princes" by The Spin Doctors
My memory of this song will forever and ever be linked to that karaoke bar on the fifth deck of that cruise ship during my senior cruise... there were like, six of us up there, and that group probably included Chris McCall and Tonya Windham, but I know for a fact that Tammy Thomas was up there.
(L-R) Tonya, Chad, Tammy, Yours Truly and Chris. This
would be a good guess as to who was singing that night.
By the way, don't hate on the Spin Doctors. Trippy sound, goofy hat of that lead singer guy, he had an awesome voice... and how much fun is this song to sing? Even now! The Lovely Steph Leann stopped singing En Vogue and immediately picked up this song.
Favorite Spin Doctors songs?
4) "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong"... what a great "get out my face, woman" song.
3) "You Let Your Heart Go To Fast"... lead cut from their second album
2) "Two Princes"... Carnival cruises!
1) "Jimmy Olsen's Blues". Man I love that tune.
Just just just go ahead now.
40. "I Wanna Sex You Up" by Color Me Badd
Okay, so this song came from the film "New Jack City", not on The Dave100, but probably could be listed in The Dave200, if there was such a thing. There were actually two versions to this song, the album version and the radio version.
Usually, I'm an album-version guy... the album typically has the extra verse, or the bridge or the extra whatever, whereas the radio version is typically edited for content and length. However, in this case, its almost as if they are two different tunes who have the same riffs and rhythm... and I prefer the "come inside take of your coat I'll make you feel at home" radio edit much better.
Two more quick observations: first, lead singer Brian Abrams got really big, and second. this song is, no matter the edit, not Emmy Turnbow Safe. No joke.
39. "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls
So, I've never seen the movie "City of Angels" that this song came from. This song is good, though, every once in a while, but not all the time. Give me "Slide" or "Black Balloon".... but I will tell you "Dizzy Up the Girl" is an awesome CD. Go get it.
38. "Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguilera
So, when you are 24 years old, and this 17 year old is singing, and rolling around like she does in this video, you feel kind of skeevy. And I did. Cause she was pretty hot.
Steph Nipp, back in the day, asked me about the lyrics "gotta rub the right way", and I told her "oh, its like, you know, when you rub someone the right way, or wrong way? Like, she wants the guy to be good to her, and treat her right." Steph Nipp says, "Oh, that makes sense." And everytime I heard her tell someone that particular nugget, I would laugh internally, and sometimes quietly, externally. I love Snipp.
37. "Good Riddance (time of your life)" by Green Day
So, Green Day, one of the most overrated band in the history of the world.
36. "Gonna Make You Sweat" by C&C Music Factory
Totally did this song in high school band, and that crazy part on the sax was sooooooo much fun to play.
And I know every stinkin' word to this song. I mean, this video is like a workout, cause people are dancing and jumping all over the place, you had the chick singing the "Sweat! Sweeeaaaat! Let the music take control, let the rhythm move you..." (though the skinny chick was a front--the real singer of that was one of the big sistas from The Weather Girls, and she sued), you had that awesome sax in the middle and Freedom Williams singing the rhymes that told you he was a just a squirrel trying to get a nut to move yo' butt to the dance floor so yo' whats up, hands in the air, e'rbody over here e'rbody over there..."
35. "Wonderwall" by Oasis
Talk about a song I love to sing... Today is gonna be the day that their gonna throw it back to you... I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now...
Its like a good Beatles song. This, with "Champagne Supernova", but especially this, is just about as close to a perfect rock song as you can get.
Chick named Reanna in children's theater Pied Pipers used to walk aroung singing "Wonder Bra". Kind of annoying, but at the same time amusing.
34. "Semi-Charmed Life" by Third Eye Blind
So this song is actually about hard core drugs and gettin' it on. The lyrics are so dirty. But its proof that people don't pay much attention to the lyrics, because its so catchy and this song was pretty big for about eight months. But I usually turn it when it comes on. Not a huge fan.
33. "Wannabe" by Spice Girls
This exchange just happened:
Me: Oh wow
The Lovely Steph Leann: You knew this had to be on here
Me: Oh, I like the Spice Girls. I dig this song.
The Lovely Steph Leann: OMG, I LOOOOOVE the Spice Girls
Ten, twelve years later, its kinda funny seeing where they all ended up, but back in the late 90s, you couldn't get away from Spice Girl. I was always a Baby Spice guy myself.
We just spent the next five minutes coming up with the titles of the other two Spice hits.... "Two Become One" and my favorite, "Say You'll Be There" (she sang along to both when I dug 'em up on my iTunes)
32. "No Diggity" by Blackstreet featuring Dr. Dre
Dude. No Diggity was dope. Back when Dre and rap was fun and cool, when Hip Hop was going from innocent to a little edgy, this song is just awesome.
Not sure what "diggity" means. It might mean "no doubt", as in "no diggity, no doubt".
Play on, play out.
31. "Creep" by Radiohead
There were two versions of this song, the "so very special" and "so effin' special" version. As in, "I wish I was special. So very/effin special". Because I'm an album purist, I like the second one. I have this cassingle upstairs.
I won a tape from a radio station once, called "Kid A." And after listening to it a few times, I can honestly say, Radiohead is a band I never got.
30. "Tearin' Up My Heart" by N*Sync
So, the boy bands returned in 98, after a seven year hiatus with the loss of New Kids on the Block.
Remember when Justin Timberlake was this frosted tipped little kid? And out of like, all the boy banders in all the boy bands, something like 19 of them, JT is the only who made it out. Its not cool to like any of them... except JT. Its cool to like JT.
And I'm sure JC Chasez is sitting at home, playing "Blowing Me Up (with her love)", wondering what went wrong and why not him.
No, of course I don't have "Ice Ice Baby"
on Cassette Single. Why would I need
the cassingle when I have this entire
album on tape?
29. "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice
I could spend an entire column, like 4,000 words on this song. I don't even know where to begin with this song, other than, I love it and am not ashamed.
28. "Livin' la Vida Loco" by Ricky Martin
I got nothing. That sound you hear is the Unintentional Comedy Scale exploding into small, loco pieces.
27. "Mr. Jones" by The Counting Crows
First, lets be clear... Adam Duritz. Ladies, is he hot? Seriously? Cause he got with like, fourteen different 90s hot chicks from Jennifer Aniston to Courtney Cox.
Secondly, who is Mr. Jones?
26. "My Name Is" by Eminem
I remember hearing this song for the first time as I was coming to my apartment in 1999. It was odd, it was laughable, and it was creative. Some years later, he busted out with my favorite Eminem tune, "Without Me" which is absolutely brilliant.
Love him, hate him, he is so talented. What he can rap, the words he spits out are amazing... not the content, but just his tone.
25. "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden
This was a cool song, but this video was just creepy with the stretchy smiley face thing going on. Everyone's smiles get all weird and distorted and strange.
24. "Jump Around" by House of Pain
Dude... from the very first note, this song rocks. Like, this song is awesome. Everyone jumps to this song. And my favorite lyric, though its terrible, is "I'll serve yo' --- like John McEnroe, if yo' girl steps up, I'm smackin' da ho'"... This makes me want to go and hear this song right now. This would be in my Top Ten songs of the 90s.
23. "Whatta Man" by Salt n Pepa featuring En Vogue
What a great song. Seriously. Why is it that there are so many songs out there that are all about how bad your man is, and he cheated and he's a jerk and all that... but here's a song that celebrates how much she loves her man.
I'd like to think that The Lovely Steph Leann, were she a R&B rap artist, would sing this song to me. "d$, you so crazy... I think I wanna have yo' baby..."
22. "Loser" by Beck
Does anyone even know what this song means? No you don't. Don't try. Don't even try to explain. I made it a point to learn every word to this song at one time, and loved to sing it... and would hear it often on cassingle.
If there was a way to do playcounts with cassettes, surely this would have a huge count from back in the day.
21. "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion
Oh, there go the flutes. From one of my favorite movies of all time, 9th on The Dave100, near, far, wherever you are, you couldn't NOT hear this song. And seriously, were it not for the fact that I have heard this song about 8,000,003 times, I would still love it. However, its still a great song. And before Celine married Rob Reiner and decided to lose 188 pounds, she was so awesome. I mean, really. I would put her next to pre-crack Whitney and pre-skank Mariah, easily.
The Lovely Steph Leann: Oh, I cried at this song.
20. "Mmm Bop" by Hanson
You laugh right now, but dont even joke. You freakin' loved this song. You sang this song. You bought it, you own it, and when it came on, you turn it up, even if you only can sing the "Mmm Bop" part.
Hanson is a band that got the shaft--they make great pop rock music, played their own instruments, wrote their own songs, and were defined by that one single song.
19. "Sabotage" by The Beastie Boys
There are fewer songs that, combined with the video, are as cool as this song. This song is loud, this song is boisterous, this song had this funky, hard edge, goofy sound... and it ROCKS. Put this is your cars CD player, preluded by "B.O.B." by OutKast and followed by "Machinehead" by Bush, and you can make it from Birmingham to the beach in about 90 minutes.
18. "Enter Sandman" by Metallica
"The national anthem of headbangers" was what one guy said on the show, and I agree. And when lead singer Triple H James Hetfield, its a song that really... kinda punishes you.
Hush little baby don't say a word, and don't mind that noise you heard.
Indeed.
17. "Say My Name" by Destiny's Child
Back when it wasn't just Beyonce, but Beyonce and three, yes three, other chicks. Hey, say my name you love me in front of other people. And somehow, they sang 73 words in the span of 4 seconds, so much so that Eminem would be proud.
And for the record, I love me some Kelly Rowland--she's my favorite D'Child.
16. "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer
That phrase, "U Can't Touch This", tossed in with "2 Legit 2 Quit" will forever be a part of our lexicon. Lorelei Addison and Campbell Isaiah will be saying these phrases and not even knowing what they mean...
...oh no, forget that... they'll be hearing them some MC Hammer.
Its Hammer go Hammer MC Hammer yo Hammer and the rest can go and play, Can't Touch This!
15. "Under the Bridge" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
When this song popped up, The Lovely Steph Leann looked up and said, "ah!" I asked her if she liked this song, and she nodded feverishly, "I Love this song."
And why not? Its a great song. I remember this video where Anthony Keidis, in black and white, long hair flying, running as fast as he could towards the camera, looking all buff and intense. It was cool.
14. "Vision of Love" by Mariah Carey
Totally had this poster on my college dorm room wall
Sigh.
I miss pre-skank Mariah.
Anyone under 21, stop what you are doing, go to iTunes and download three songs: Emotion, Dreamlover and this song. And listen to them for an education. THIS is how you sing. THIS is how you entice. THIS is how you are FREAKIN AWESOME.
I would love love love love to see her in concert. I mean, one of my top five most desired concert experiences.
13. "Nuthin' But a G Thang" by Dr. Dre introducing Snoop Doggy Dogg
In the late 80s, rap was killin, ghetto, hood, shooting, the plight of black people, the plight of poor people, the man holding us down...
When G Thang came out, it all changed. Rap suddenly didn't have to be a social commentary, it could be just something fun, laid back, smokin' a blunt, drankin' a fo'ty, ridin' in yo' bouncing hyrdrolic low rider,
12. "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette
How fantastic is this song? How fantastic is this whole "Jagged Little Pill" album? I remember hearing this song for the first time, I hopped in my car, drove around the corner from Willow Terrace to across the street to On Cue Records and Tapes, and paid $15.98 for it. Didn't have it, probably bounced the check, but it was worth it.
She's a little mellow now, and released an acoustic version of this whole album a few years back--and it was good, but it wasnt great. It wasn't great because she wasn't angry anymore. I love Angry Alanis.
11. "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam
Remember me telling you about sitting at home, listening to Open House Party on Saturday nights? This is where I learned about Pearl Jam and heard "Jeremy" for the first time. And I owned the tape and would play it in my car at school I daresay before anyone knew who was Eddie Vedder even was.
I remember doing some painting work for my boss at The Wright Place restaurant at his home, painting some metal beams for a barn that he was building. And with my jambox, I had this tape blaring loud and proud. Back then, kiddies, you got about five songs, then you had to flip the tape over.
10. "Nothing Compares 2 U" by Sinead O'Connor
I cannot tell you how awesome this song is. I mean, seriously. This will be another song that Lorelei Addison will hear as a very young little girl.
The video is so amazing, as she's starting at the camera, tears streaming down her eyes. Its on my list of the Saddest Songs Ever. That countdown is due for a re-do, and "Nothing Compares 2 U" might rank a little higher.
And this is on my current rotation of songs that I sing while I'm making drinks at Starbucks.
9. "Losing My Religion" by REM
I've never been a huge REM fan, but this song was captivating. That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion. I do believe that not too long ago, Michael Stipe surprised no one when admitting he was gay, he admitted that this song was his struggle with being an Other.
We used to make fun of REM, saying that REM stood for Rear End Men. Turns out I wasn't too far from being right.
8. "Waterfalls" by TLC
For all the songs that The Lovely Steph Leann liked on this countdown, I daresay there aren't many songs she hates more than this one. I like the song itself, but usually only hear it when I'm listening to a playlist that includes my favorite music from that Troy State era.
7. "...Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears
Let's be honest. Back in 1998, you liked this song. Don't tell me you didn't. You had no idea that K-Fed, bald heads, kissing Madonna, that VMA snake, Chaotic, slutsville, rehab, two children, bad music, that Vegas marriage was coming. All you knew at that time was that this song was awesome, it was catchy, the album was fun, and speaking as a guy, we loved it.
6. "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mixalot
I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE is a line that forever will go down in the "First Lines to a Song" Hall of Fame. I mean, you can't even say the words "Oh My Gah Becky, look at her butt" without someone laughing, or continuing the line or quoting the song. Seriously.
This is song is so engrained in our pop culture, it will be one of the songs on this list that will last for decades, maybe a generation. I don't know if Campbell Isaiah will be exposed to Mixalot at an early age, but it seems to be a good song to sing to babies. On Friends, Rachel sang it to her kid to calm her down, and when I was visiting my best mate Wookiee, I was holding their daughter Abby Grace and when AG got a little grumpy, I started to whisper "I like big butts and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny..." and like magic, AG quieted.
5. "Vogue" by Madonna
Eh.
4. "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
From a favorite film, 51st on The Dave100, its pre-crack Whitney at the top of her career. As this song started, I just put my head back on the recliner, looked at The Lovely Steph Leann and just sighed, "This song... is just so great."
A few drug hits and a Bobby Brown later, she can't hit those notes like she used to. But while you are on iTunes downloading those Mariah songs, make sure you get "How Will I Know", "Saving All My Love For You", "I'm Your Baby Tonight" (radio edit) and this song. Go now.
3. "I Want It That Way" by The Backstreet Boys
The Lovely Steph Leann just piped up "This is the BEST!!!"
So one night, Mikey Nipp and I were going to a party somewhere. We walked to the door and he turned to me, said "I'm going to have the entire room singing Backstreet in ten minutes. Just watch this."
He walked in, quietly singing to himself, "you are... my fire... my one... desire..." and sure enough, within ten minutes every girl, and some guys, in the room were singing to themselves "I want it that way" and "you are... my fire..." and so on. It was hilarious.
2. "One" by U2
When "Achtung Baby" came out, I really dug "Mysterious Ways", which turned out to be my favorite U2 song of all time.
But I'll just be honest with ya here... this is my absolute least favorite U2 song out there. When this comes on the radio, I end up just turning it. There. I said it.
1. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana
When we were about three songs from the end, I said, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is probably number one." And I was right.
I was the first kid in my high school to own "Nevermind" with the naked baby on the front cover of the tape. And this song was played a whole heckuva lot in my car. Kurt Cobain is perhaps not as amazing as people remember him to be (who is, really) but he deserves alot of credit for, along with Pearl Jam, bringing the new grunge alternative sound to the forefront, inspiring rock music like never before, and making all those kids around me who felt Metallica and Alice in Chains were a little too loud have some hope in rock.
And then, when Weird Al Yankovic came out with "Smells Like Nirvana", I was laughing so hard I literally ran off of the road while driving down the highway in Enterprise, Alabama.
