all is not well

So according to this link, author JK Rowling is looking to do more Harry Potter. She tweeted on 10/6 “Cry, foe! Run amok! Fa awry! My want won’t tolerate this nonsense!” which itself is cryptic, but a fan from Reddit came up with the possiblitiy that the tweet could be an anagram, one that “Harry returns! Won’t say any details now! A week off. No comment.” would fit into.

Could this mean that Harry Potter will make a return? Could this mean that JK Rowling might write more books? Could this mean we could see the further adventures of Harry, Hermione, Ron, and my favorite literary redhead Ginny Weasley?

Dear goodness, I hope not. I really hope not.

The seven book Harry Potter saga is not a perfect story… there seems to be some contradiction and senseless actions that occur, born not of an incompetent writer, but more of a unknowing of where the story was going after the first book, “Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone.” It’s now stuff of legend that Rowling wrote the final chapter of the book on a napkin in some coffeehouse in England before she ever was published, and I’m sure she had an overall idea of how the story will flow, with details coming only as she wrote the pages.

But it is a beautiful story. A story of growing up, a story of power, a story of innocence, a story of childhood into adulthood, a story of awesome. It has a beginning. It has an end. It even has an epilogue to show us where they ended up 17 years later, with Harry and Ginny marrying and having three great, if unfortunately named, kids, while Hermione and Ron do their own nuptials.

All is well. That was the ending sentence. Harry Potter touched that scar on his head, the scar that pained him growing up, but hadn’t hurt him at all in 17 years. All was well.

That’s the perfect way to end the story…

But all is not well…

You see, JK Rowling wants to keep coming back to the well.

I didn’t actually have a problem with Rowling spilling a few more secrets… how Neville Longbottom ended up with Hannah Abbott, and he became the Herbology professor… how Hermione went back and finished her final year at Hogwarts, and how Ron and Harry ended up being Aurors… the later happenings of Dean Thomas and Luna Lovegood and a few others that we loved.

Heck, I didn’t even have an issue with her announcement that yes, Dumbledore was gay. I thought it was a stupid decision, not because I’m anti-gay, but because it made no sense to the story itself.

However, last year, it was decided that there would be a movie made from the book “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them”. This title is actually a fictional book within the Harry Potter universe, one that is required reading for Harry and the gang, and naturally, it was written into real, physical form, along with “Quidditch Through the Ages” and “The Tales of Beedle the Bard”… each book is about 60 or 70 pages long, because honestly, how much can you glean from a few passing references in the Harry Potter series to make an entire book with?

There is now a “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” movie coming. Part of me thinks this is a terrible idea, worse than the new trend of Young Adult novels being made into films where the final book is made into two movies (see: Hunger Games, The… Series, Harry Potter… Divergent Series… and yes, The Maze Runner has similar plans)… you are stretching 64 pages into a feature length film?

Part of me warms to the idea a little… naturally, it will be set in the Hogwarts/Potter universe, likely with new characters, and because the setting is pre-Potter, it will probably only reference what we know from the books.

But bringing Harry Potter back for new stories? No. No. No.

Before you get all mad and declare that I'm just drinking the Hater-Aid that Pansy Parkenson probably made up in Potions class... I'm a huge Potter fan.  I've read all the books three times each, and am already starting to go through them for a fourth run.  I've written about Potter several times on this very blog, including a post about the final film... an open letter to "Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince" screenwriter Steve Kloves about what an abomination that film was... and my fourth post ever, when I didn't know what I was doing (hey?  who said "as opposed to now?") was the feeling you get when you finish one book and can't get the next one... So I'm a fan.  Back to the thought...

JK… it’s done. You’ve said it yourself, that Harry Potter’s tale is told. Anything now, and you run the risk of ruining that legacy (see: Lucas, George) and it will take a mighty miracle to get it back (see: Abrams, JJ). It might be marvelous… it might be a great new series of stories, maybe new characters will be introduced, and I’ll smile as my cute, sweet Ginny Weasley is re-introduced to the timeline and they’ll have great new adventures…

…but do we really want that?

I don't think we do.  I don't think you do.  You may think you do, but I don't think so.  There's no good that could come of it, sullying the Potter memories I have already.  Do we need to hear stories of a 29 year old Harry Potter and a 28 year old Ginny Weasley Potter running around battling bad guys?  Voldemort was the ultimate bad guy, so is Rowling going to give us the son of Voldemort, seeking revenge?  A bad guy worse that Voldemort, which would undermine the ultimate evil that we were told about for seven books? 

Or maybe each book is a one off, with Harry and Ron solving wizard crime, fighting a different bad guy in each book? 

I hate to say this... I really hate to say it... but I think its a power play.  Her other non-Potter novels have done okay, but as expected, none have come close to the soaring heights that the Hogwarts adventures achieved.  Perhaps she realizes that this, and maybe only this, is what will continue the cash flow.  She's already a bajilliontyaire, so I'm not sure it's all about the money--I think it has to do with control.  This is her world, and she can do what she wants.

Which is true.  But JK Rowling, you are in danger of ruining what we love and hold dear.  I can daresay that Harry Potter is no longer yours anymore... he belongs to us.  You have told a brilliant story, a wonderful story, a story that I can't wait for my own son to read, and in 100 years, they will still be reading, but the story of 10 year old Harry Potter to the 17 year old Harry Potter is done.

Create new worlds.  Create new characters with new adventures that tie into the Harry Potter universe.  But do not give us the further adventures of Harry Potter.  Please. 

the sneaky christians we are

"God, investigate my life, get all the facts first-hand. I'm an open book to you, even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave, and when I get back, I'm never out of your sight." -- Psalm 139:1-2

It's boys night tonight, as The Lovely Steph Leann is out of town for a work trip. I went to pick up little Campbell Isaiah from the grandparents house, brought him home, we played in the floor for a bit, and I fed him some dinner. I just realized I had Moe's Southwest at 3pm, and hadn't eaten anything before or since... crap, I'm hungry.

That's not my point.

After dinner, we do a little settling down kind of period. He does play in the floor with his toys, and we tend to have a battle over what he considers "his toys"... the big doggy with colored buttons shaped like circles and triangles on the front that play music? His toy. The DVD remote? Not his toy. The xylophone that sits on the back of a cute, plastic tiger? His toy. My iphone? Not his toy.

I'll sit in the recliner and try to do a little work, make a few notes here and there, usually while I'm watching tv (tonight is Monday, so it was WWE Raw, where The Rock came back, beat up on Rusev while making a Putin joke to Lana and... you know what, never mind that...)

Anyway, from where the recliner sits, I can see most of the room, so I can watch him carefully. And Campbell, 2 and a 1/2, with the mental development of about a 10 month old at this point, sees me. And he plots.

In The Cabana, the recliner its next to the couch, which extends to the border of the living room and dining area. We have a small gate up, going from the side of the couch to the wall, blocking off the area behind the couch--that area leads you to our DVD shelf, and ultimately, the front door. The DVDs are a factor because Campbell likes to pull them out, then not knowing how to put them back, he drops them on the floor, suddenly disinterested. The front door is a factor because he likes to stand there and play with the blinds, which we are afraid he's going to break one day... so we keep him from back there.

In front of this gate, which is really just two pieces of that plastic fence you can by at BuyBuy Baby, Babies R Us and some pawn shops and bait stores, we have put a small table. This is his table to play on, and though it comes with chairs, the chairs are put away because he likes to climb on them. And stand on them. And yes, fall off of them. Not good times... bad times indeed.

Another thing to watch is how he'll slide our dining room chairs around. And then climb into them. And then he's able to reach what he wants on the table... he usually doesn't know what he wants on the table, but he figures "what the heck, I'll climb up and see what's mine for the taking..."

Tonight, I watched him out of the corner of my eye. And he watched me, not quite as subtle. When he thought I wasn't looking, I saw him in my peripheral, slide two dining room chairs out, slowly and quietly. Methodically.

He positioned the chairs where the seats would face each other, and then looked at me. Still keeping my face to the TV, but watching him, I saw him put one foot on the bottom of the chair and stretch as far as he could with his hand to grab the back of the chair to pull himself up.

"Campbell..." I said, evenly. He froze. Looked up at me, and then slowly put his foot down. I turned my face back to the tv, still watching him out of the corner of my eye. He tried it again, when he thought I wasn't looking. "Campbell!" I said a little louder. "DOWN"

This time, he hopped down and ran across the room, immediately pushing the big red ball he plays with. 

I then watched him make it way to the gate. He stood on the corner of the couch, also watching TV like I was. And then--no kidding--he slowly BACKED UP out of my sightline behind the couch. I could hear a slight scraping sounds as the table was slid out of the way. "Campbell!" I said, "Stop!"

In a flash, he pushed the table back in place quickly so it made a much louder sound, slid it into the gate and then ran to the middle of the floor. Busted.

And over the course of two hours, he tried both of these things a few times, each time I would catch him, and each time he would run away, pretending to do something else.

"You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there too, your reassuring presence, coming and going." Ps 139:3-5

There he is, the little boy... thinking I won't see him, when in fact, I can see everything he does. He thinks he's covering his tracks, he thinks he's carefully planning, he thinks that when he puts everything in place--moving the chairs just so, moving the table slightly out of the way to open up a back of the couch front door tressel run--he can pull off his deed without a hitch, and no one will know anything.

But I know. I see it. And it disappoints me to know that not only is he doing wrong, he's trying to hide it. He's trying to fool me. He's trying to make it so no one knows he ever did it... like I try to hide my own sin. Like I try to fool God. Like I have my best laid plans in front of me, thinking that I've covered all my bases, thinking that I've thought of everything, and if I move slow, if I'm careful, if I do it right, it will all be fine...

...and we know its not. Because God sees it. God knows it. We can't hide it. And better yet, we shouldn't hide it. We are sinners by nature, and saved by Grace. 

And sometimes I think God just looks at us, shakes His head, and says, "you think you are sneaky Christians, don't you?"

"Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; see for yourself whether I've done anything wrong--then guide me on the road to eternal life" Ps 139:23-24 (The Message)

We are sneaky Christians. Sneaky Christians who never get away with it.

clean up

So, I was ever so close to 1000... I mean, like four or five posts away from One.Thousand.Posts. It would be 9 years and some change, from July 2005 to now, averaging slightly over 111 posts per year, about 9 posts per month. 

That's not a pat on my back, that's not a "look at me! come see how good I look!", nay, I think its more of a testament to just how much I enjoy writing.

My first post was a countdown to the upcoming trip to New York City, of which this blog was really supposed to represent... I would blog about the trip for the people back home to read daily, and when I got back, that would be that. But between blog post #1 and the trip, I also decided the world needed to know about my fandom of Kelly Clarkson and a Harry Potter/MC Hammer mashup ... 

As I flipping through some of the old, old stuff, I came across some stuff that just didn't matter. Some stuff that was like, point updates for the March Madness bracket of 2006. Some random crap that no one would even get except me, and there was one post that I read from 2007 that I didn't even understand... I was thinking "What the heck does this even mean...?"

So, I made a fateful decision... to delete them. I waded through ten pages of blog posts headings, at 100 posts per pages... found the ones that not only I didn't want to read, but that maybe I don't want you to read... and deleted about 35 or so. Just terrible stuff.

It's hard, isn't it? I've deleted a few posts here and there over the years, so honestly, if I counted everything, I'm probably somewhere around 1050 or so, but still... I'd like to think that what's in the archive now counts for something. 

I'll have to go through one day and give you my favorites... but not tonight... but this post here is around 961 or 962, somewhere around there, so hopefully 1000 will be here later this year... and soon, #40for40....

we don't know jack

Once again, I revel in the fact that I can spend most Saturdays watching college football all day, and today was one of those special days when the whole College Football World went to Hell and back.

Skies turning to blood, the rivers running red, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

I watched as the 12th ranked Mississippi State Bulldogs ran roughshod all over #6 Texas A&M Aggies, then as #11 Ole Miss somehow, someway knocked off #3 Alabama, which was followed by the 5th ranked Auburn Tigers throttling the 15th ranked LSU Tigers, in a game that wasn't as close as the 41-7 score may seem. 

25th ranked TCU edged out 4th ranked Oklahoma, then unranked Kentucky came storming back to tie South Carolina, then let them blow the Wildcats out, then came storming back again to win the game.

In a Hail Mary last second pass to the end zone, Arizona State beat the 16th ranked USC Trojans--a few days after their state-counterpart Arizona knocked off the #2 team, Oregon.

And now, I just finished watching the 10th ranked Michigan State Spartans hold off a furious 4th quarter rally by the 19th ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers, a rally that saw the Huskers score three touchdowns in 10 minutes, and were it not for the interception thrown in the last 30 seconds, would have had a real shot of beating Sparty.

This is why I love college football... so here are my observations, before the new rankings come out, before Utah and #8 UCLA finish their game, where Utah is up by 10 in the 3rd quarter.

First... We Don't Know Anything
We thought we knew that Florida State, Oregon and Alabama were in the Football Final Four, and that fourth spot would either go to either another SEC team like Texas A&M or even Auburn, or probably Oklahoma would win the Big XII and take it. 

But now? Florida State struggles to beat EVERYONE... sure, they blew out Wake Forest today, but they started slow, Jameis Winston had a rough first few possessions, and FSU has been lucky to play against teams that would let them catch back up and win. And they play in the ACC, which might as bad as the Big Ten. 

And now, Oklahoma, Alabama and Oregon all have a loss. It's not the end of the world for either, as if any of them win out, they'll likely find themselves in a position to win their conferences anyway. But it got a lot tougher.

Second... Ole Miss is LUCKY and Mississippi State is GOOD
We watched the Ole Miss/Alabama game, and it reminded me of the FSU/Clemson game, where the Noles gave the Clemson Tigers every chance in the world to win, and Clemson refused to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Today, Ole Miss took that victory, as Alabama played... well, like crap. Ole Miss wasn't much better, as they dropped passes, missed opportunities and could have scored twice... but Bama played a game full of penalties and stupid mistakes. Alabama is a better team, but Ole Miss snagged the win.

Mississippi State, however, is solid. Perhaps it's that A&M is also not as good as we thought, and QB Kenny Hill isn't as Heismany as we thought, but State controlled that game from start to finish. They had their way with the Aggies like it was a prison shower... it was ridiculous. 

Third... Gary & Verne are Crazy
CBS longtime college commentators Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson are perhaps the most annoying announcers on the television today. If you watch college football, specifically the SEC coverage, you'll know this, so no need to dwell.

However, here's what I didn't like... CBS uses the Coaches Poll for their rankings, perhaps one of the only places that does. This is a big deal because in the Coaches Poll and AP Poll (the more used), Ole Miss is ranked 11th... but Alabama is 3rd in the AP and 1st in the Coaches. So, when Gary and Verne talk about how long it's been since Ole Miss beat a #1 team, it's just false. Perhaps having Alabama ranked 1st makes for a better story than if they were ranked 3rd. 

Fourth... Florida is Still Terrible
My team, the Florida Gators, are now 3-1 after getting by Tennessee 10-9 today. The Gators also had to take multiple overtimes to get past Kentucky, who isn't as bad as we thought (we'll get to that next), and needed a miracle to beat the better-than-last-year-but-still-not-good Volunteers team.. after Gators QB Jeff Driskol was finally benched. We'll find out next week what the Gators will do, when LSU comes to town, but right now, I think Florida is the worst 3-1 team in the country not in the Big Ten.

Fifth... Kentucky Can Win the SEC East
They won't. But who thought they'd even be in contention in October? 

Sixth... The Big Ten is a Cluster Muffin
Thru the first three quarters, as I flipped back and saw snippets of Michigan State's beatdown on Nebraska, I thought to myself "The Spartans might actually be the shining star of the Big Ten Conference... like FSU, they may be the one team a cut above the rest, and could make the Football Final Four". Then, Nebraska roared back in the 4th quarter and nearly beat the Spartans, all because Michigan State just fell apart and couldn't close. And then I remembered why no team from the Big Ten will make the Football Final Four.

Seventh... In a Sick Joke of the Football Gods, Alabama Needs to Root For Auburn
Here's how Alabama makes it back to the SEC Championship game... Auburn needs to win out (including beating Mississippi State and Ole Miss) and Alabama needs to win the rest of their games (including beating State). At some point, they have to hope Ole Miss will lose another along the way.

The Iron Bowl needs to be what it was last year--winner goes to the SEC Title Game. And to impress voters, it would serve the Crimson Tide well to be 11-1, taking on a 12-0 Auburn team, and to beat them. Let's say Alabama loses the SEC Title game to Georgia... there is still a chance Alabama can get that 4th spot in the Football Final Four, if they have beaten a team like 12-0 Auburn. Sure, it would make Alabama happy to play a 9-3 Auburn team, but they'd have to win the SEC outright to get a shot. Make sense?

Georgia is a solid team... but I think Auburn, Mississippi State and even Alabama could beat them, especially if they contained Todd Gurley.

By the way, I think this loss for Alabama might not be a bad thing... it's relatively early in the season, and it makes me think of the New England Patriots in '07 ('08?) who had run to 15-0, taking on the NYGiants in the last week of the season. They struggled to beat the Giants, rolled thru the playoffs, then lost a close one due to mistakes and sloppy play in the Super Bowl... to the NYGiants. 

I have always contended that had the Pats lost the last game, gone 15-1, they would have won the Super Bowl. The "undefeated" would have been off their shoulders, and they would have realized they were not invincible. Bama is similar... they realize now that they are not invincible, that their sloppy play finally caught up to them, and now that "we are the best" is off their shoulders... playing catch up might not be a bad thing for the Tide.

Eighth... We Still Don't Know ANYTHING
It's college football. Next week, Baylor, who is leading the Big XII and looking strong, takes on TCU, who beat Oklahoma today. Baylor hasn't really played anyone of substance, so this game is huge. So suddenly, TCU has to play explosive Baylor, and later Oklahoma State and then Kansas State... Baylor has OK State and K-State too. So if TCU or Baylor comes out undefeated, they are in. But if Baylor beats TCU, then loses to Oklahoma big, Kansas State is like "What about us?" 

If Auburn rolls up to Mississippi State, gets blown out, then beats up on Ole Miss, who then turn around and beats Mississippi State in the Egg Bowl, Alabama is like "Hey, we are still here!"

Florida State will likely lose one. They are playing too loose and clumsy. What happens then?

Utah is beating UCLA right now, which was the unbeaten left in the Pac 12... and they still have to play Oregon. So like, what happens? 

We don't know jack. 

That's why I love college football.


(My current prediction for the Football Final Four is 1-Auburn, 2-UCLA, 3-Baylor and... crap, I dunno... 4-Mississippi State)

late night rocky

So it's midnight on Friday night, and I'm watching Rocky III. 


I've written about the Rocky series before, notably the fact that Rocky IV is not a good film (though highly entertaining) and then I had the brilliant idea to put a spiritual spin on the whole thing. But Rocky III?

The Lovely Steph Leann was out tonight at a scrapbooking crop at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship), so after I finished getting Campbell to bed, some household chores and then catching the last half of "Django Unchained" on EPIX2, she finally came in. She went to get ready for bed, Django finished his killing cycle, and I flipped channels only to find nothing on... well, there's Rocky III.

She sat on the couch, and then we had this exchange:

Me: You know, Rocky I thru IV are really hard to rank because...
The Lovely Steph Leann: ...because they aren't very good
Me: What? Rocky I is good.
The Lovely Steph Leann: I know. I've seen it. 

I had to explain... and when I had to explain, I was really talking out loud, because though The Lovely Steph Leann loves me and loves talking to me, hearing a monologue on the Rocky films probably tested her tired patience.

Nonetheless, I had to explain... the Rocky films are difficult to quantify...because the original Rocky is a really good movie. It's got a great story, great performances and the ending is heartwarming... but it's just so slow. Rocky II is the extension of Rocky I, so while it's also slow, it's not as slow, but the story also suffers because it's really a retread of Rocky I... with the same ending, except a slight difference in the winner of the match.

Rocky IV is probably the most entertaining, but really... the story is so ludicrous that it's hard to even fathom how it could happen. 

We could talk about Rocky V, but it doesn't exist. It's on the mythical shelf with Caddyshack 2, the Ring 2 and every Police Academy after part 4... movies that you have only heard about, but aren't actually there.

Granted, "Rocky Balboa", or Rocky VI was actually a pretty decent story and a good wrap up to the entire Rocky saga... but it was more pleasant than anything.

That leaves Rocky III. Perhaps the greatest of all Rocky movies. You have a fantastic villain, Clubber Lang (played with vicious glee by a hugely popular in 1983 Mr. T)... you have the emotion odds, as our hero Rocky admits his fear... you have the overcoming odds, as Rocky has to learn a new way of doing things by going to his former enemy... you have the most annoying character actually bearable for one film, that being Adrian (Talia Shire, who wasn't good in any of these)... and heartbreak, as Mick takes a tumble to the great ring in the sky.

What's not to love. Plus, in watching it back tonight, the ending match is just great. And somewhat believable. If you can believe that.

That's my thoughts on Rocky III. Strangely enough, The Lovely Steph Leann already went to bed.

By the way, when I caught "Django Unchained", it was the scene where Schultz and Django are on the hill, about to take out the criminal who is farming, and Django is having trouble shooting him as the guy is with his own son.  

In the time it took to finish this movie, finish Rocky III, chat with The Lovely Steph Leann, catch the beginning of "Django Unchained" on EPIX3 as it came on, it's now back at that same scene. This is my cue. 

What's my prediction for the next few hours? Sleep.

fireball

In the course of 2014, so much has changed, but few things have surprised me more than the face that somehow, someway... I became a fan of Pit Bull. 

(now, is it Pitbull? Pit Bull? Pit ft Bull? Let's just go with Pitbull, save the effort and wear and tear on the space bar)

My earliest memory of Pit Bull, as I talk about him like he's an old childhood friend, or a puppy that I grew up with, was that Dr Pepper commercial that aired during sporting events... it was the one that went "let's have a real good time, a real good time..."

Oh, you don't remember that? Well, in reality, it went:

let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...
let's have a real good time, a real good time...

Yeah, that one. It was kind of annoying. And I truly only know two of his songs, the first being "Timber", his collaboration with Ke$ha... though she may be just Kesha now, I heard something about her dropping the $ from her name in order to start a new path, as she left rehab last year.  By the way, I wrote 600+ words on Ke$ha in February.  So truly, I now have two different posts that Kesha is a major part of.  What.

Anyway, I contend that if Kesha sang all the time like she notes she belts out in "Timber", I'd be a much bigger fan. As it is, "Tik Tok" is in the list of strangely stupid, ridiculous songs that I somehow find myself enjoying, even if it's just ironically. I mean, she sings of "brushing her teeth with a bottle of Jack." Like, I can honestly tell you I've never had a sip of Jack Daniels, be it straight or mixed. But I have had pure Listerine. My dad made me use it as mouthwash when I would get mouth ulcers as a kid, and that stuff is strong.

I can only guess that Listerine isn't as strong as Jack, so to brush your teeth with Jack has to be not only foolish, but wasteful in that Jack ain't cheap, and possibly damaging to the enamel on your teeth with repeated brushing. Does she pour the Jack on the toothbrush, or just use it as a mouthwash? I digress.

So The Kesh and Pitbull team up to give us this delightful little ditty called "Timber", which I don't even know all the words to, other than picking up things like "Bras and thongs", "bigga dey are the harda dey fall" and "swing yo' partner round and round", which probably tells you it's not a remake of a Steven Curtis Chapman tune. But it's fun, especially with Paul Harrington's harmonica kicking the song off, and with the tune's noticeable folk and nearly country line dance sort of rhythm. (fyi, you aren't necessarily supposed to know who Paul Harrington is, I just read about it on Wikipedia).

I was addicted to that song for a while, then it sorta stopped getting played on my iPod as much (mixed in between all my podcasts, I do listen to a song or two... I been known to cut a rug in my day). Then I heard "Fireball". Like, what do you even do with this song?

It's this insane party tune that features a brass band, an infectious groove and a dude named John Ryan that, like Kesha before him, provides the song with pipes and melody. Like "Timber", it opens with awesome music, Pitbull singing/rapping for a verse, then the real singer doing their due diligence, then the chorus. Then awesome music, Pitbull singing/rapping the second verse, the real singer doing their stuff again, then the chorus. Fade out.

Add to that Pitbull's Hispanic accent, where "roof on fire" becomes "roof ahn fiah" and "walk this way" becomes "wall dis wah", a crazy sampling of the actual Aerosmith classic "Walk This Way" (not just in tune either, like Pitbull is almost doing different lines to the same tune) and this insane "babybabybabybabybabybabybaby" riff that is a lot harder than you think--trust me, I've tried it... all of that together makes for one of my Top 5 songs of 2014 thus far.

I tell myself that two songs from an artist does not a fan make... I love "Eleanor Rigby" and "Penny Lane" from The Beatles, and yet, I'm not a huge fan of theirs, and though I think "Tik Tok" and "We R We Are" from Kesha are stupid fun, I don't count myself a Kesha Krazy... well, I also like "Your Love Is My Drug", so maybe I am, I dunno. 

I just made up "Kesha Krazy" as a name for her fanbase. Kesha, you are welcome.

What can I say... I love music, and much of my favorite stuff is stupid music. Don't even get me started on "Party in the USA", or worse, "Hoedown Throwdown" by Miley Cyrus, #BoomClapBoomDeClapDeClap... it reaches back to the early 90s, when I owned Vanilla Ice's "To the Extreme" cassette tape, and Color Me Badd's albums were on my "to purchase" list before I stopped buying music in order to save money.

Really, I just want to be in a situation where I, and a bunch of my friends and strangers, all feel compelled to jump up and yell "FIREBALL" all at the same time. Because anytime you can have a simultaneous "FIREBALL!!!" yelling, you know you are having a real good time, a real good time.. let's have a real good time, a real good time... let's have a real good time, a real good time...

complimentary

Sometimes compliments are the worst things for you, not because of ego, but because you feel like it's purpose will end up failing you in the long run.


So, my friend Jessica, of the Blue Avenger blogpage... (it's actually called "she flies on her own wings", but that makes me think of "and with a broken wing... she still sings..." by Martina McBride, who is one of my top 25 favorite artists of all time, and I like "Blue Avenger", because it sounds like a super hero, which Jessica might just be... )

wait... where was I?

Ah, yes... so, today, I messaged Jessica about something, using that evil Facebook Messenger app that everyone hates because they think that's why Ebola is in our country now, and she replied that she was just about to put a post on Facebook about me... surprised, I simply said, "Ok, I'm ready!"

A few minutes later, I get that familiar ding on the phone and that banner that simply says "Jessica Jobe has mentioned you in a comment." I clicked on the box post haste, and I saw this...

Did you ever notice... d$ disappears for days.... and THEN: he suddenly bursts into the room and jolts everyone awake with his cleverness and hilarity. It's like he saves up the funny and then pours it out like syrup on pancakes, brightening Thursday!! He's like a TIGGER!!

Like, what? Well... that's just about the nicest thing I've heard today... I mean, that's just super nice...

Earlier today, in a social group I'm a part of called "Dreamers & Builders", which I'll write about soon enough, I posted a few random thoughts which caught some traction. 

Facebook is a funny thing, especially when you have something you think is itself funny--its not just what you say, it's how, and WHEN you say it. 

Having someone put an incredibly funny and sweet thing about you to the masses then stirs up a battle inside...

"How wonderful that someone recognizes you in front of others" 

"Wait, what if no one likes it?"

"Oh, okay, well a few people like it..."

"But that's it? Only five PeOpLe? Now seven?"

"Stop being stupid. Take the compliment. You've been praised."

"But... but... but... what if I'm not popular?"

The font sizes are intentional, because the good voices inside always seem to be small and still, while the negative voices are not only loud. but in disarray...

Suddenly, Self Esteem and Common Sense, normally friendly attributes to each other, now are at odds, staring down each other in the same way that babyface/good guy John Cena stared down babyface/good guy Dean Ambrose the other night on Raw... they aren't supposed to lock up, but now they are. I root for Common Sense...

Is my self worth based upon how many likes that a complimentary post about me might get? Honestly, no... but that doesn't mean I don't think about it. 

I just checked. On the surface, it would seem that 12 people agree with Jessica's contention that I'm clever and all that... and that's okay. I promise it's okay. 

So take heart. When a compliment is paid to you, accept it. Own it. If only one person, or 12, seems to acknowledge it, I guarantee there are many, many more who would if they'd see it. You're important to many people. 

Popularity is overrated.

If I seemed like I was going nowhere with this, you might be right. I think I had to see this written for myself in order to believe it. Carry on.

late

it's so late... it's too late baby now it's too late, oh we really did try to make it...
...this is one of those posts that is being blogged because it's late and I'm about to go to bed, and I have no idea where this is going...

so I updated my iphone to the new iOS 8.02, and somehow the update stopped updating and so I foolishly removed the plug...

...is there any rule more terrifying to break than "do not disconnect" on an iPhone? Well, I broke it, and had to restore it, was freaking out because I thought I lost 10 days worth of texts and photos and such, but no, it backed up before it tried to update and... well, 90 minutes later, I have an iPhone with the latest software...

...so, its a 31 day challenge to blog every day. Every day. About what? I have no idea. Somehow, someway, I keep thinking I have something to say, and worse yet, I keep thinking you want to read it.

but if you haven't noticed, and you may not have, I am over 200,000 page loads... like for serious. 

its 1236am, and my iphone is done updating. my ipod is done updating. and I have to make Campbell some food for tomorrow. today? later today?

By the way... he signed "more" today. "More" is a hand sign made by taking both hands, putting each in a finger-stretched position, almost like you are about to use a puppet, turning the fingers of each hand toward each other and touching the fingertips a few times. 

When Campbell eats, we know he wants more, so we will do the signal and say, "More? You want more? Do more..." and recently, he's starting doing "more". Well, today at school, one of his teachers texted The Lovely Steph Leann to say that he did it on his own. He signed "more" for more snacks, without prompting. That's just... so huge.

Favorite quote right now? "What if I fail? Oh my darling, what if you fly?" Dunno who said it, but my friend Libbydoodle made it known to me.

It's late. I'm going to bed. Consider Day Two of 31 days done...

podcasts

Happy National Podcast Day.  I had no clue this was Podcast Day until I saw a post from my buddy Clay Shaver, who posted something promoting some other podcasts on Facebook. 

Since I left Starbucks a year ago... and wow, it's been almost 11 months... and have taken a desk job, I literally have anywhere from 7 to 9, sometimes 10 hours per day of time when I can listen to audiobooks and podcasts... if I don't, I might go crazy.

The Non-Disney Podcasts that I listen to on a daily/weekly basis

It makes me think back to those long days at Parisian Corp or NBC 13, when I sat at a desk, inputting data and such, and had nothing to think about but my own thoughts.  A decade later, the 160g iPod is loaded with over 130 episodes of over 30 different podcasts. So in honor of National Podcast Day, I thought I'd give you a quick run down of the podcasts I listen to daily, or weekly...


First, shameless plug... check out The Deucecast Movie Picture Show, the movie podcast that I co-host with my pal Mikey and our Movie Padawan P!nky... give us a listen, we would appreciate it.  If you like movies, I think you'd like our show...


Now, back to the lecture at hand...


These are in no particular order...

Talk Show/Social Commentary Podcasts...

The Rush Limbaugh Show... Yep.  It's daily.  And anyone who hates Rush has probably never listened to the show for more than an hour or so, then is told what to think by Jon Stewart or Anderson Cooper. But that's another story.  (weekdays, an hour and 45 minutes to get through all three parts)

The Adam Carolla Show... Language is strong here, but it's usually very funny.  Typically has actors and comedians as guests, but the show staff is also great. (weekdays, 90 minutes average)

Alison Rosen is Your New Best Friend... The gorgeous Alison is the "news girl" for Adam Carolla, and has her own show... the Monday show is her "interview" show, where she has deep conversations with other Hollywood types, while the Thursday show is a roundtable of personalities and Carolla show producers, and I, like many fans, find the Thursday show to be the best one.  One of my top three shows.  (Monday and Thursday, both shows run about 90 minutes)

Sorry Not Sorry... Comedian Jenna Kim Jones hosts this very clean, comical show with her husband, and at 30 minutes, its a great little conversation about life and her Mormon faith.  (sporadic, about a 1/2 hour per episode)

SPORTS PODCASTS

ESPN's Pardon the Interruption... Usually the first 'cast of the day, it's the 20 minute replay from the previous episode of PTI with Mike Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser (weekdays)

ESPN's Mike & Mike in the Morning... Its a "best of" show featuring the two Mikes--Golic and Greenberg--and taking 45-60 minutes of the best stuff from that morning's show (weekdays)

The BS Report with Bill Simmons... I've been a fan of Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy, for at least 12 years, back when he was simply The Boston Sports Guy.  I usually enjoy this show, though when he dives into too much fantasy stuff, or pop culture stuff that I'm not into (like shows about Game of Thrones), I'll skip the episode.  He's on suspension now, so what unfolds in a few weeks will be quite interesting... (a few times per week, usually an hour to 1:15 or so)

ESPN Championship Drive... It's the best college football podcast out there, discussing the previous weekend and the upcoming games as well (weekdays, 45-60 minutes)

The Dave Dameshek Show... The NFL Network's Dameshek is funny, if not a little annoying sometimes, but it's a great NFL recap and preview (twice a week, 45-60 minutes)

Mark Out Loud... Yep, its a wrestling show, but hosts Steve Glosson and Dave Jones are the best kind of hosts... they are fans first, and hosts second.  (a few times per month, around 2 hours per episode)

The Steve Austin Podcast & Talk is Jericho... Two different shows, with Steven Austin and Chris Jericho hosting their respective podcasts.  Both are funny, different styles, and usually have actors, musicians and many times, former wrestlers on their shows.  Jericho's show with Edge and Paul Heyman (Episode #50) was hands down one of the best podcast episodes I've ever heard.  Austin is Tuesday & Thursday, with Tuesday being the "clean show" and Thursday being the "unleashed (re: language filled) show... Jericho is Wednesday and Friday, and both are mostly family friendly.  (Both shows run about an hour to an 1:15 each)

ENTERTAINMENT PODCASTS

Doug Loves Movies... Host Doug Benson, a complete stoner, hosts the game show podcast where various celebrities and comedians come on to play a round of "The Leonard Maltin Game", just one of several movie games.  This is in my top three favorite shows.  He also does "Doug Loves Minis", a quick 10-15 minute show with snippets from smaller games at comedy clubs.  (once or twice per week, 60-90 minutes per show)

The Film Vault... One of the podcasts I've been listening to the longest, Bald Bryan Bishop, sound effect guy on the Adam Carolla Show, teams with Anderson Cowen, co-host of The After Disaster Podcast (which I've never listened to), and they do a great movie show with a theme, a top five and lots of language filled banter. 

The Popcast... Jamie Golden of Jamie's Rabbits Blog and Knox McCoy team up to give an hour's worth of snark and wit in discussing Hollywood, television, trends and the goings on in the pop culturey world.  I disagree with some of their choices, and fully endorse others... it's a show I wish I could be on! (weekly or so, an hour-ish)

TechnoRetro Dads... Family men and friends Shaz and Jedi Shua are the hosts of this wildly entertaining trip down nostalgic lane, in discussing lots of Star Wars and other geeky things.  (weekly, 77 minutes per show)

Car Talk... Everyone knows about Car Talk, but what you may not know is, these guys retired some years ago.  Yet, they've done enough material on their shows that the segments can be replayed without repeating, once a week for another 6 or 7 years.  Highly entertaining.  (Saturdays, 60 minutes per show)

Five Minutes With Dad... Dad Nick Pavlidis has his 5 year old son, Pavlos, on every week to talk about... whatever.  Its short, its funny and it's really kinda sweet.  (weekly, 5-10 minutes per episode.)

DISNEY PODCASTS

The Dis Unplugged... Probably the best show out there because of how simply unbiased it is.  Host Pete Werner seems like he's a little angry all the time, but the rest of the cast balances him out.  And on the panel is Jeni Lynn, and she's just delightful.  With a different cast, they also have the Dis Unplugged Disneyland Edition and the Dis Unplugged Universal Show, both very informative and entertaining.  (all during the week, each show runs about an hour or so)

Inside the Magic... Host Ricky Brigante brings this show every week like clockwork, first with Disney and area news, then many times interviews, trip reports, various reviews and so on, before wrapping it up with listener feedback.  (Sunday nights, usually, about an hour long)

Disney Vault Talk... A premise I wish I had thought of.  Steve Glosson (from the Mark Out Loud show, a member of the Geek Out Loud podcast lineup) and spunky Teresa Delgado started with Snow White, and each show is dedicated to the next Disney animated classic.  Just finished with Make Mine Music, and Fun and Fancy Free is next... but half the show is reader emails, talking about Disney and so on--quite entertaining.  (a few times per month, show runs around 2 hours)

Be Our Guest Podcast... Host Mike Rahmann and his co-horts Rikki and Pam dish up all the latest and greatest at Disney World in a fun little show, with the Wednesday show usually being just listener emails.  (Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 30-45 minutes each)

WDW Today... Another roundtable discussion, in the vein of Dis Unplugged, with a few long time Disney fans, including Len Testa, who co-wrote the Unofficial Guide to WDW that comes out every year (I have my copy already for 2015).  (a few times per week, 30-45 minutes each)

WDW Radio... Host Lou Mongello is beloved among Disney fans, as his booming voice and strong personality lends itself to an entertaining show. He'll usually do one regular news show about the happenings at the parks, then other shows are topic-specific, from "best snacks at Epcot" to "the nooks and crannies of Hollywood Studios".  (weekly or so, 30 minutes for regular shows, an hour or more for topical shows)

Skywalking Thru Neverland... Rich and Sarah, hubby and wife, take a geeked out look at Star Wars and Disney, and honestly, I could listen to Sarah laugh for hours.  They are fun together.  (weekly, 60-90 minutes shows)

ENCOURAGEMENT/BUSINESS/LEADERSHIP/FEEL GOODZ

The Remodeling Clay Podcast... Can't say enough about this dude.  Weighed over 400 pounds, lost over half his body weight (he lost like, the Olsen twins, and some of another one) and is dedicated to helping people "Becoming the Best Version of You".  Clay is a no-nonsense, yet still has some sarcastic fun, solid host.  (1-2 times per week, 30-45 minute shows)

The Live Your List Podcast... Two guys who's passion is for your to live out your bucket list.  They talk to authors and leaders from all fields on everything from time management to finding your passion.  (1-2 times per week, 30 minutes usually)

The Dave Ramsey Show... You know who this is.  And it's an hour from his daily show (daily, 45 minutes)


So there's my list.  In the morning, I usually listen to ESPN PTI first... then, if it's Monday or Thursday, I listen to Alison Rosen.  Rush Limbaugh is next... if a Doug Loves Movies is available, that's next up, but if not, I go to The Adam Carolla Show.  I'll next take on Live Your List and Remodeling Clay, followed by Disney casts like Dis Unplugged, WDW Today, WDW News and a few others.  After lunch, a sports block of Mike & Mike, Championship Drive and The BS Report.  This will take me to mid-afternoon, then I listen to the podcasts I have left, including Dave Ramsey, Five Minutes with Dad, Y2J and Steve Austin, then anything else outstanding.  That will get me home... and at night, I'll finish up any casts left, or dive into an audiobook when I'm doing dishes, running errands or the like.

What podcasts do I need to pick up, do you think?

can we still be friends?

Good gravy it's been six weeks.  My last post, which you can probably scroll and see, or click here, is a satirical, enjoyable poke at the political correctness of college football team names.

For a writer like myself, here's what happens when I go weeks upon weeks without blogging anything, I suddenly find myself not wanting to look at the page.  Like, I don't want to see how readership has dropped, I don't want to know what has been lost since I've been away.  And that's what happened here.  I haven't even looked at Clouds in My Coffee since mid-August.  But if I don't post today, then I'll probably not get it to it this week.

My buddy Rick Theule says simply that if you are a writer, and you don't write, then you lose a little something in your writing.   And I probably have.

As a matter of fact, this post is probably pretty boring and lame.  But that's okay.  I'm not even going to promote it.  I'm not going to put it anywhere that I posted.  I'm going to just write it here, and leave it, so I'll have a post.  Finally, another post. 

I've been busy...

...so busy... with Disney, with Campbell Isaiah, with life in general...

...but I've missed you, Clouds.  And I've missed you, dear reader.  And I appreciate you every time you load the page.

Can we still be friends, if I promise to come back more often, with more good stuff? 

Hope so.

ole miss is racist

Report out this week that a few members of the facility of the University of Mississippi are offended now by the term "Ole Miss", which is how the school is commonly referred too.  See, back in the slavery days of the 1800s, slaves were required to call the daughters and wife of the plantation owner not just "miss", but "Ole Miss".  The name evokes pain and suffering to all of those who have slavery roots.


Let me go on record and say that while I know more white people than I do black people, I don't know anyone who has any living relatives that are slaves.


But Ole Miss is a racist name, and we should change it immediately!!!!  People (a few) are offended by this!  It's bad enough that "Running Rebels" is a symbolic gesture of the South in the Confederacy, but to use the words "Ole Miss" with it??? 


Change it, and change it now, before anyone else is offended by this gesture.


Then I got to thinking about more college football teams... THE WHOLE SEC IS RACIST, RACIST, I TELL YOU....


Want proof?   Here...


"War Eagle", the battle cry of the Auburn Tigers?  I mean "War", really?  Glorifying combat and conflict?  That is the opposite of peace.  I'm offended.


"Roll Tide"?  Their mascot is an elephant, which hail from two places... Africa and India.  To invoke the proud elephant into such a violent game is it insinuate that people from those lands want war and love fighting.  I'm offended on their behalf.


The Florida Gators?  The Gator is hunted and killed for their skins and meat, senselessly.  To envoke such a game onto this proud animal is to enjoy the killing of such.  I'm offended on the behalf of animal rights activists


The Vanderbilt Commodores?  The Commodores were a great 70s funk band, led by Lionel Ritchie.  Unfortunately, Vanderbilt is known for a losing tradition... which means, the Commodores are losers.  I'm offended on behalf of any Lionel Ritchie fans and Commodores fans.  Easy indeed.


The LSU Tigers?  Their battle cry is "Geaux Tigers", which hails from a French background.  Using France's name in such a derogatory manner to promote your violent game is to recall another violent battle... the French and Indian war.  Now, I'm offended on behalf of two proud peoples.


The South Carolina Gamecocks?  Did you know a "gamecock" is a chicken?  That's meat, people.  You don't eat meat!  It's cruel!  I'm offended on behalf of all vegans.


The Texas A&M Aggies?  Aggies.  Put an "F" in the front of that, and now you have a horrible gay slur.  I mean, I wouldn't do that, but someone might, and let's be honest, we cannot take that chance.  I'm offended on behalf of the gay community.


The Missouri Tigers?  The Tigers are an endangered species, hunted and killed for their skins and coats.  This use of their animal name is nothing but a promotion of illegal game hunting and poaching.  I'm offended on behalf of all animal lovers.


The Kentucky Wildcats?  The word "cat" is used by the African American community, especially in the 70s, to describe another person.  To take this name, then put a "wild" in front of it, is to assume that because you are of a certain color, you are a wild person.  Like in Africa.  This is an egregious use of this word, and I'm not going to stand for it.  I'm totally offended on behalf of anyone of any color called "cat", ever.


The Tennessee Volunteers?  To "volunteer" means to not get paid.  You know, like not getting paid as much as a man does, if you are a woman?  You know, the gender equality in this country?  Why not just called them the Tennessee Unequally Paid but Harder Working Females?  Because its the white man that makes these names up.  I'm offended on behalf of all women.


The Mississippi State Bulldogs?  The Georgia Bulldogs?  You know what they use in riots to quell the protesters?  Tear gas and dogs.  If I was at Kent State, when all those people were massacred, every time I hear the word "dog", it would bring back painful memories of almost being bitten.  Not sure anyone was bitten during that event, but if they were, my memories would be more painful.  I'm offended on behalf of anyone who's ever been bitten by an animal, bulldog or otherwise.


The Arkansas Razorbacks?  Do you know what a Razorback is?  It's a hog.  Or a pig.  Another animal we brutally slaughter for meat purposes.  An animal that produces things like ham and pork, meats that can be horrible for your system to eat.  Meats that when eaten in excess, can give you blocked arteries, heart attacks, diabetes!  Meaning that every time someone yells "Hog Sooey!", if you have ever had a heart attack, blocked arteries or diabetes, you need to be offended.  No worries. I'm offended for you.


See?  Even the words "Southeastern Conference" is offensive.  "Conference", meaning a meeting, where we can sit around with our bosses and realize how much money someone else is making, and how much money we are NOT making, even though we do most of the work (especially if you are a woman...) and "Southeast"... well, I cannot even describe for you the racial overtones this has, except for three words "Hub of Slavery".

We should get rid of all mascots, because someone might be offended by them.  We cannot call them by their city names, because the people in poor Starkville do not need to be reminded how good people in the wealthier areas of Knoxville might have it.  And we cannot assign them colors, because red (Indian), yellow (Asian), black (Black), white (White), brown (Mexican), purple (sick people), blue (cold people--stupid global warming) will all be offensive.


We need to abolish football completely.  Then, and only then will we have an offense-free society.  Then and only then can we turn on ESPN and not be totally taken aback by the egregious racism that runs rampant through our sport.


or...


...we could be offended by the fact that children are being beheaded in Iraq because they might come from a "Christian" family.  I've seen the pictures.  That offends me.   Just a thought.

the worst week: sitting, wishing, waiting

This is the second part in my account of the worst week we've had in a long time.  You can read about Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday here...

But to recap, we were up on Sunday night until after 4 am with our toddler who was ill and couldn't sleep... there was vomit... and a few days later, things seemed to have settled somewhat... until...


THURSDAY
Not sure what I was dreaming as I slept that night, but whatever it was about, I didn't finish it as I felt someone poking me square in the bottom. I woke up kinda quickly, looking at the clock, thinking I had overslept for work, but saw that it was... 415am? Wha....? Campbell lay dead to the world next to me.

I sat up, asked The Lovely Steph Leann what was wrong, and she grimaced and said that her stomach was hurting, bad. Really bad. I got up, we both went into the bathroom and she explained that last night, she didn't feel good, she thought it might have been gas or indigestion, and that she barely slept all night long. I asked if it could be her appendix or something, she said she wasn't sure, but it wasn't out of the question. "I think I might need to go to the ER... please come with me..." Which, of course I was going with her. Duh.

I got out bed, got dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, grabbed some socks and went downstairs to pack Campbell's bag.  The Lovely Steph Leann got on the phone to call her parents to make sure it was okay to drop Campbell off an hour earlier at their home (it was), and we quickly gathered what we needed.  I grabbed my iPod, my phone charger and a few other things to keep me occupied, as I knew I might have some downtime.

I plucked Campbell from the bed, as he barely stirred, moving his head from the soft mattress to my soft shoulder as I carried him to the car and strapped him in his car seat.  He awoke, but didn't make a sound.  We unloaded him to her dad, handed over the diaper bag, and then sped down to the nearest hospital that we liked, Brookwood Medical. 

The last time we were here together for something that affected us was in late November 2011, when our unborn child decided he was ready to see the world a few weeks early, putting The Lovely Steph Leann in the hospital for a week, and spending his own time in the NICU.  I just linked to all those stories, so you can read if you want.

Anyway, not a ton has changed, except for the finishing of the halls and entryways leading to the Women's Medical Center.  FYI, in case it ever comes up on Birmingham Jeopardy, our kid was the first newborn to spend time in the intensive care floor of the Women's Medical Center.  Not a trophy moment, but it's something I guess.

We got to Brookwood, and I pulled up so The Lovely Steph Leann could get out and go on in to the ER... she could walk, but slower and it kinda hurt, so I walked her inside to make sure she was okay, then hopped back in and went to park the car in the huge parking garage.  Because it was 510 in the morning, I had my choice of spaces, so was able to park pretty close to the entrance... not that that matters, because like many parking garages, I can stand by Red Robin (the Kia Soul) and spit on the gate where you insert your ticket for exiting, yet I have to go up about four floors before I can finally come back down again to leave--but that was all later.

The Lovely Steph Leann is in there filling out paperwork when I come through the double doors, and they put us both in a room just down the hall.  And anyone who's been in the ER knows the word I'm about to say...

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Someone came in, asked her some questions, took her vitals, and left.

Waiting

Waiting

Waiting

A doctor came in, asked her some questions, some of the same questions as the chick earlier, took some vitals, and left

Waiting

Waiting.

Waiting.

Another chick came in to do blood work.  In a bit, they came in to tell her they were going to do a CT Scan.  To prepare for it, the nurse gave her something to drink who's taste was described by her to be an "Oily Sensation"...

"Oily Sensation" sounds like the worlds worst INXS song.

Then, after waiting... waiting... waiting... they came and got her to take her for the CT Scan...

So then, I with a phone and a TV showing an old episode of Charmed with Alyssa Milano and Shannon Doherty being my only source of entertainment, tried to watch The Godfather on HBOGo on my phone.  Got about 10 minutes in, when they wheeled The Lovely Steph Leann back in.

She dozed.  I dozed.  She woke up and dozed again. I dozed.  We waited.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Finally... a little after 9am, almost four hours after arriving, a different doctor came in to finally say, "Well... looks like you've got acute appendicitis.  Let's get that thing out before it bursts, okay?"  We kind of expect this, and both said, "Well, okay..."

Then he left.

Then we waited.

And we waited.

The anesthesiologist came in, told The Lovely Steph Leann what he would do, and how she would be put to sleep.  He asked some questions, many of them being the same as the ones that the earlier doctor and first and second nurse asked.  I wondered if they put anything on those charts, or if everyone figured it would be just as easier to ask.

After he talked about the upcoming events, he ended with, "And, unfortunately, I'm required by law to tell you that there are complications in 1 in about 250,000... which sometimes can lead to death.  See you soon!" and he left.

Thanks for that, Gas Man.

And we waited.

And.

Yup.

The doctor, a different doctor, came in, introduced himself as the surgeon who would be doing the procedure, and sat down.  He asked a few questions, a couple of which were now going on their 83rd time of being answered.  He explained about the incisions that would be made, the tool that would be used to remove the offending infected, useless organ, and about the recovery.

By this time, it was around 1130, we had been at the hospital for around 6 hours in the same room, save for a couple of bathroom trips, and had probably had less than 15 minutes, 20 tops, of interaction with anyone who works here. 

All a waiting game. 

I'm pretty positive this was the scene when they were performing
surgery on The Lovely Steph Leann.  Had to be, right?  Aren't all
hospitals this way?

Neither one of us had had shower.  Channeling Grey's Anatomy, I felt like McStinky.  Neither one of us had really eaten anything... she couldn't at this point, mostly for fear of throwing up in surgery and choking on her own vomit.  Not good times, bad times.  Bad times indeed.

At some point before noon, they came in to wheel her down to pre-op... the doctor led me to the waiting room and told me, "I'll come get you", which had me thinking that I now had a few hours to kill, maybe even run downstairs to the cafeteria and eat, but less than three minutes later, he came and retrieved me.  He brought me back to where a few nurses were asking The Lovely Steph Leann some of the same questions again, we found out that we were in fact not pregnant (not that we were worried about that, but that would be the holy crap icing on an already crappy cake of a week), then they prepped her up for surgery.  The nurses left, she and I prayed together for a minute or two, and then she was off.

I was told it would be about 90 minutes.  I went downstairs to the basement of the hospital where they have the cafeteria, I walked out to my car to drop a few things off and grab a portable charger for the phone, then walked my way back to the waiting room.

Hospitals are like mazes, and Brookwood Medical Center is no different.  Every time I came to an intersecting hallway, I stopped, looked at the signs, studied the surroundings, then moved on.

Because we do watch Grey's Anatomy, my only assumption was that a doctor and a nurse were getting their freak on behind every fourth or fifth closed door I passed. 

Made it to the car, made it back to the waiting room, made it downstairs to have lunch, then made it back to the waiting room again where I sat down, took a breath, realized how exhausted I was, remembered how smelly I had to have been, and was still for about five minutes. I took out my iPhone, fired up HBOGo, and continued watching The Godfather.

Of course, 90 minutes came and went.  About an hour and 45 into it, my mind began to race.  I'm 99% sure that she's just fine, meaning I'm 104% sure she's bleeding out on a table at that very moment.  Where's Shepard?  Where's Meredith Grey?  Darn it, I'll take Alex Karev if I have to.  Not Addison Sloan, though, she's too pretty.  Can't get distracted, my wife is dying in there. 

The two hour mark came.  I decided that I'd give it another 20 minutes, then I'd just have to go find someone.  Thankfully... the doctor came out, right about the two hour and five minute mark.

"Surgery went find.  We were able to go in, get everything we needed out, close her up and she's fine.  She's asleep right now, and she's going to be very sore when she wakes up." 

But, do I wait until she wakes up?  Nope... I'm instructed to go down the hall to the front of the hospital, tell the nurse who I, tell the nurse who my wife is, and wait there.  I do so, and am given a pager to go wait in another lobby... "When the pager goes off, come here and we'll take you down there."

Anytime a pager like the one I was holding goes off, I'm suspecting I'm about to find a table and order an appetizer... so, waiting again.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

After watching more of The Godfather on my phone, then giving up because the signal was so spotty, Michael Corleone would keep talking even though the picture was stuck on a picture of Sonny eating an orange.   Hungry again and thirsty, I decided to head back down to the cafeteria to get something to drink... bought a bottle of water and a piece of cheesecake...

...and my pager goes off as I'm standing in front of the elevator.

Take it a flight up, get to the desk, and am taken back to recovery, where I a still Lovely Steph Leann, groggy, barely moving, exhausted, weary, thirsty and recovering.  She tries to smile a little, gets a upward turn of the mouth and then dozes a bit more.

When she awakes, she tells me how thirsty and hungry she is.  Like a good husband, I open the pack of crackers and refill the water she's been working on, and then ask if it's cool that I eat my cheesecake. Because I care.  And it was excellent.

The final few hours at the hospital really consisted of she dozing off and on, me watching more Godfather and relaxing, running up to get her perscription from the pharmacy upstairs, and waiting until she was awake enough to move a little.

About 5pm-ish, I helped her get dressed, walked out to the garage, retrieved the car, pulled up to the big double doors and then... took her home. 

Thirteen hours in the hospital.  I helped her inside the house, and up the stairs, helped her prop up several pillows and she crashed hard to sleep.

FRIDAY, SATURDAY, SUNDAY

Recovery. 

Now that was a week.