September 11th, 2001 As It Happened

Facebook users... this post is heavy on video, which you will not see if you are viewing this in Facebook. Please click over to http://broadwaydave.blogspot.com to see the entire blogpost.

To see previous thoughts, essays and recommended September 11th material, click here (or scroll down a few posts)

And friends of the blog and/or mine--The Official Clouds In My Coffee Ombudsman Brad Latta, Erin the Marine Wife and Kris "Buble" Dekker--gave me their thoughts and experiences on 9/11, so scroll to the next post, or click here, to read those. My intent was to inter-sparse their writings with what I was doing here on this column, but it didn't flow well, and I didn't want to edit what they had to say, so I made them their own post.

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Alright, after a week or so of trying to decide exactly what I wanted to do with today's post, because I knew I wanted to do something for today (September 11th) and the 8th anniversary of the attacks, I thought the best thing to do was just... well, go through the morning. I hate using the phrase "the best thing to do" because really, its not pleasant. Its not comfortable. It's really not fun. But its is important.

I'm steering clear of any political rhetoric (and I ask you do the same) and I'm hoping you don't find this particular blog as an exploitative veering towards such a thing--its not intended to be. Its just intending to give you--and me--a reminder of what happened that morning, as it happened.

None of the videos that have been posted are set to music, or have encouraging and faith filled songs in the background--I've disabled the music playlist (you're welcome, Lily) and only put Alan Jackson's "Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning" on the list itself--you'll have to scroll down and click to hear it. Why? Because I like that song, that's why.

Don't worry, I'm not becoming all serious and such--on Monday, the regular Clouds banner will return, and I'll probably have a Billy Ocean/Billie Jean/Corey Squared-less playlist to post but for the weekend, this is my nod and paid respects to everything that happened.

Some of the video you'll see is hard to watch, so use your best judgement. Also, just a note, all times mentioned are Eastern times, and much of the text is taken from CNN's timeline.

Tuesday September 11th.

8:45am...


9:03 a.m.:

The video at the 6:29 mark is incomprehensible and will give you goosebumps. Next, at the 6:51 mark. Jean Cochran is speaking for NPR in a typical NPR monotone, unemotional voice. When the second plane hits, she screams and suddenly becomes filled with the emotional we all shared at that very second.

Also, this very moment is the moment when four words come to mind... "This is no accident"
9:17 a.m.: The Federal Aviation Administration shuts down all New York City area airports.

9:21 a.m.: The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey orders all bridges and tunnels in the New York area closed.

Sometime during the morning


9:30 a.m.: President Bush, speaking in Sarasota, Florida, says the country has suffered an "apparent terrorist attack."

9:40 a.m.: The FAA halts all flight operations at U.S. airports, the first time in U.S. history that air traffic nationwide has been halted.

9:43 a.m.:


9:45 a.m.: The White House evacuates.

9:57 a.m.: Bush departs from Florida.

10:05 a.m.:

Peter Jennings asks, “We now have… what do we have?” He has to ask several times about whats going on, even though the reporter is speaking very plainly... Jennings, like us, cannot even fathom the idea that the entire building... just came down.


A view from the street

10:08 a.m.: Secret Service agents armed with automatic rifles are deployed into Lafayette Park across from the White House.

10:10 a.m.:


10:10 a.m.:



10:13 a.m.: The United Nations building evacuates, including 4,700 people from the headquarters building and 7,000 total from UNICEF and U.N. development programs.

10:22 a.m.: In Washington, the State and Justice departments are evacuated, along with the World Bank.

10:24 a.m.: The FAA reports that all inbound transatlantic aircraft flying into the United States are being diverted to Canada.

10:28 a.m.:


10:45 a.m.: All federal office buildings in Washington are evacuated.

10.46 a.m.: U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell cuts short his trip to Latin America to return to the United States.

10.48 a.m.:


10:53 a.m.: New York's primary elections, scheduled for Tuesday, are postponed.

10:57 a.m.: New York Gov. George Pataki says all state government offices are closed.

11:02 a.m.: New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani urges New Yorkers to stay at home and orders an evacuation of the area south of Canal Street.

11:18 a.m.: American Airlines reports it has lost two aircraft. American Flight 11, a Boeing 767 flying from Boston to Los Angeles, had 81 passengers and 11 crew aboard. Flight 77, a Boeing 757 en route from Washington's Dulles International Airport to Los Angeles, had 58 passengers and six crew members aboard. Flight 11 slammed into the north tower of the World Trade Center. Flight 77 hit the Pentagon.

11:26 a.m.: United Airlines reports that United Flight 93, en route from Newark, New Jersey, to San Francisco, California, has crashed in Pennsylvania. The airline also says that it is "deeply concerned" about United Flight 175.

12:04 p.m.: Los Angeles International Airport, the destination of three of the crashed airplanes, is evacuated.

12:15 p.m: San Francisco International Airport is evacuated and shut down. The airport was the destination of United Airlines Flight 93, which crashed in Pennsylvania.

12:30 p.m.: The FAA says 50 flights are in U.S. airspace, but none are reporting any problems.

1:04 p.m.: Bush, speaking from Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana, says that all appropriate security measures are being taken, including putting the U.S. military on high alert worldwide. He asks for prayers for those killed or wounded in the attacks and says, "Make no mistake, the United States will hunt down and punish those responsible for these cowardly acts."

1:27 p.m.: A state of emergency is declared by the city of Washington.

1:44 p.m.: The Pentagon says five warships and two aircraft carriers will leave the U.S. Naval Station in Norfolk, Virginia, to protect the East Coast from further attack and to reduce the number of ships in port. The two carriers, the USS George Washington and the USS John F. Kennedy, are headed for the New York coast. The other ships headed to sea are frigates and guided missile destroyers capable of shooting down aircraft.

1:48 p.m.: Bush leaves Barksdale Air Force Base aboard Air Force One and flies to an Air Force base in Nebraska.

2:30 p.m.: The FAA announces there will be no U.S. commercial air traffic until noon EDT Wednesday at the earliest.

2:49 p.m.: At a news conference, Giuliani says that subway and bus service are partially restored in New York City. Asked about the number of people killed, Giuliani says, "I don't think we want to speculate about that -- more than any of us can bear."

4:10 p.m.: Building 7 of the World Trade Center complex is reported on fire.

5:20 p.m.:


7:02 p.m.: CNN's Paula Zahn reports the Marriott Hotel near the World Trade Center is on the verge of collapse and says some New York bridges are now open to outbound traffic.

7:45 p.m.: The New York Police Department says that at least 78 officers are missing. The city also says that as many as half of the first 400 firefighters on the scene were killed.

8:30 p.m.: President Bush addresses the nation, saying "thousands of lives were suddenly ended by evil" and asks for prayers for the families and friends of Tuesday's victims. "These acts shattered steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve," he says. The president says the U.S. government will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed the acts and those who harbor them. He adds that government offices in Washington are reopening for essential personnel Tuesday night and for all workers Wednesday.

9:22 p.m.: CNN's McIntyre reports the fire at the Pentagon is still burning and is considered contained but not under control.

Thank you for indulging me. And here's how I want to end:

9/17/01

Where They Were

As I've done in years past, I've asked a few readers and friends to chime in and tell me about their September 11th memory and experiences. With apologies to all three, I changed the format at the last minute.... I had intended on inserting these in the midst of the planned-9/11 column I was going to do (and will do next) but after reading these, I think they deserved their own column so they can remain uncut. Had they known that, they may have written more, so I hope they are okay with what will be.

The following is unedited, with the exception of the first non-essential sentence of the first write-up.

I was at Alabama on 9/11/01, rooming with Drew [Morris]. We had undoubtedly stayed up late the night before playing Ken Griffey Jr.'s baseball game (well, not HIS game, but the game he is featured on...) and so, as college students, the 8-9:00 hours were just not something we were terribly interested in. I remember my mom calling my cell and telling me to turn on the TV, that something was going on in New York. At that time, reports were coming in that a plane had hit one of the towers, and so everyone thought it was a tragic mistake, pilot error, one of those twin-props that fly around and hit stuff. I stood there for probably 30 minutes as me and the newscasters all started to realize that the flaming hole in the building was much larger than a twin-prop plane, and that no respectable commercial pilot could ever, or would ever, land a plane into an occupied building. I think it was at this point that I woke Drew up, and we stood in silence as we watched the second plane hit. We were still half-asleep and groggy, but just sort of looked at each other, silently understanding the magnitude of what we were seeing.

The rest of the day is a blur. Phone calls to family members, getting gas because of the shortage we thought would come, finding out if classes were canceled, making plans. I remember sitting on my apartment steps and talking to Matt, at Lee, and we compared stories and just were family for a while. I told him that I didn't want to go to war. The sun rose the next day and life went back to the new normal we were all subject to.

Eight years later, so much has changed, but one truth remains: America is a great place, and Americans endure. Through fire and death, torture and heartbreak, families missing parents, bodies never recovered, and flags on cars, we got through it, and every day forward is another step in the process of recovery. --Brad Latta

Brad is considered "the Ombudsman" of the Clouds in My Coffee website, usually offering up great counterpoints to my political ideology and opinions. A practicing attorney, you can find his information here.

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On the morning of 9/11/2001, I arrived as usual at Briarwood Christian School where I was a band director. I was there early enough that the events in Manhattan had not yet begun to unfold. I continued my prep and setup for my first class, pretty much sheltered off in the band room from news and information. As the first kids started filing in, a couple of them asked if I had heard the news about the airplane crashing into the World Trade Center. At the time, of course, it sounded like some bizarre accident from an old made for TV “Airport ‘77” kind of movie. The information had little context and came in the form of a fairly casual question from the student, so I assumed there was not much to it and proceeded to teach my class.

After that first class, I had time to go to my computer and try to get more information. By that time, two planes had crashed into the towers, and they were jet liners (not little private planes as I had assumed). “Terrorist attack” was now being bandied about as an explanation.

I had to commute to another campus for more classes, listening to the radio and stopping in the teachers’ lounge where a TV was on. I was now seeing actual video for the first time, and I think that is when it began to sink in. Still, it kind of felt a bit sterile to me, a little bit distant, a little bit forensic in all of its surrealism. The video was not yet personal, the news coverage seemed cautious, and it was something everyone seemed reluctant to process.

I think it finally hit home with me when they started showing video of people leaping from the towers, choosing to throw themselves to certain death rather than deal with the terror of the fires and the inescapability of their circumstance. I could not imagine the choice. I could not imagine the final calls home. It was then that I started putting actual people in the seats of those jets, actual people in the towers as they collapsed, actual people committing heinous acts so far outside of the realm of humanity that it could not be believed. It was no longer forensic and distant. It was real, and it grabbed me.

I have since been to the site of the WTC. New construction has begun; life has moved on – as it must and as it should. Still, I don’t think I can forget that day. I hope none of us do. -- Kris Dekker

Kris is the music minister at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) and choir director, and is skilled at over 153 different musical instruments. Or seems that way. His website is called The Left Brained Artist.

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There are a few moments in America’s history that I remember with vivid detail. I recall watching the Challenger explode on National TV at a babysitters home when I was a young girl. I remember hearing the news that the Gulf War had begun as my parents drove me home from taking high school band pictures. And even though it was 8 years ago, I will never be able to erase the memories from 9/11. It was the day that I can honestly say my role as a military wife changed forever. It was the day that I realized we were no longer just a family that would have to deal with training exercises, frequent moves and military protocol. We now would have to face the grim reality of war. A war that would induce stress and worry that none of the young military wives I knew had ever experienced. A war that would take our husbands away from our children, so they could fight a battle that none of us really understood, but feared with great intensity.

On September 11, 2001 my daughter was just 3 months old and we were in Alabama on her first vacation. That morning we left very early to go fishing at a remote location. It was a beautiful morning with Daddy, Mommy, Papa and Morgan on her very first fishing trip. After piling into the car, my husband turned on a CD and we began our travel down the dirt road to town. My father-in-law pulled us over frantically and implored us to please turn on the radio. What we heard was hard to comprehend as the news radio tried to explain to its listeners what the rest of the world was watching unfold on TV. Still in a state of confusion, none of the events really registered with me until we got to the house and joined the rest of the family watching those horrifying images on TV. I wept and shook as I watched the planes slam into the buildings over and over again. As I imagined the fate of those people on the planes and in the buildings I sobbed violently. And then as the initial shock wore off, I was crushed by what I knew this meant for our family. President Bush had not announced it yet, but I knew that America was going to fight back, and my husband would be going to war.

War. For the generation before 9/11 we didn’t really understand what that word meant. Sure, there was the Gulf War, but that was short compared to anything in our countries history. And we had all seen images of Vietnam, Pearl Harbor, World and Civil Wars. But in an age where Hollywood controlled most of those images, it was easy to let ourselves be lulled into a sense of security. Certainly those things were in our past, not our future. Even as a military wife, I never really thought twice about my husband’s safety because most of his job was spent in the states or on occasion in countries such as Spain where they simply participated in training exercises. But on September 11th I understood that war was in our future, and while I had no idea what to expect, I was scared out of my mind.

We returned to base after our period of leave and I was shocked at the changes at the Air Station. Our base housing was actually not on the physical base and therefore had never been guarded, but as we drove up to our neighborhood we noticed that the streets were barricaded and there were Marines carrying M-16’s at the newly erected gates that now safeguarded the families. Those kids didn’t look a day over 17. I was used to the image on young men in uniform, even to seeing weapons and tanks on base. But this show of force took my breath away. On base, you could no longer park your car anywhere near a building and it took forever to get through the gates. They stopped many cars, Marines, wives and children waiting while military police randomly searched their vehicles. Even though it was an adjustment and a shock, I was proud of The Marine Corps for making these changes in such a short period of time. It gave me a strange sense of comfort.

Friends who were actually on base when the country was attacked talk of being beside themselves as they rushed to remove children from schools. Living on base was terrifying because rumors were flying about military bases being the next to be attacked. Many Marines were not in contact with their families for hours as they were called upon to enact emergency security measures. Wives huddled together in each other’s living rooms, holding on to the only other people who could understand the chaos that was all around them. They struggled to explain what was happening to small children, and to ease the growing fears of older kids as they too realized the Nation would soon be involved in a fight that would certainly involve their beloved parent.

For months, no one knew what, when and where our military would be called into action but we all knew it was just a matter of time. Families did not have much communication with commands who were busy with the important task of preparing their Marines for battle. Rumors of chemical weapon attacks coupled with the new gear that was now sitting in our living room gave me a sense of dread I will never forget. We were told that when the Marines did deploy to never send them religious material, for if they were captured, being a Christian could be a death sentence. Every day that passed became more anxious as we awaited news of a now almost certain deployment to war. And when that phone call came, in the middle of a steak dinner, my husband was told to get his gear together, he would be leaving in days. As the steak sat uneaten on the table, we started the packing process. My daughter was just 7 months old.

On the day that my husband boarded that bus, the families all gathered at the unit. None of us knew what to expect and not many of us could pry ourselves away from that parking lot until the buses were out of our sight. Small children cried and I remember a little boy clutching his father’s leg screaming “I don’t want my Daddy to die”! It was simply horrible. As we got in the car to leave, the radio was playing a song with the lyrics “I’m gonna get through this” but I honestly had no idea how. No war had started yet and no troops were in Iraq…my husband would be with the first group to enter the country.

I will not divulge the entire story of that deployment today, but will tell you that there were days when I was glued to the news hoping for any information about my husband’s unit because we had no contact with them for 40+ days. I will tell you that my sister Marine wives got me through that deployment which started out as a 3 month separation and turned into 8 very long and scary months. And I will tell you that when my husband got home he was safe, along with everyone else in his unit…even though they all were terribly thin, very tired and worn.

To date my husband’s unit has still not suffered any casualties, despite being the most deployed unit in the Marine Corps. And the conditions of deployment have improved greatly since that first time. But we will never again be able to go back to that feeling of security that we had on September 10, 2001. War is a harsh reality in my community now and is expected to be for many years to come. It is one that none of us like, but many of us realize as a necessity so that we will never have an attack on precious American soil…ever again. -- Erin Coates Whitehead

Erin, aka Erin the Marine Wife, is frequent mentioned on the Clouds site, and is a proud wife to a proud and brave Marine husband. Her site, Many Kind Regards, is one of my favorites, and she's also just started a website for The Brendon Scott Coates Foundation for children with cancer.

September 10th

September 11th has been important to me since 2001. And perhaps it always will be. I, for one, can take D-Day, Pearl Harbor, even Vietnam a little more lightly, because my only recollection of such events are from movies, television specials on the History Channel and in books, which I seldom see because I'm not a fan of war fiction or non-fiction, unless its the Civil War or the Revelutionary War.

What makes 9/11 more gripping for me, though, and I'm sure many will agree, is that I was there when it happened. Well, I wasn't there in NYC, or Washington, or in Shanksville, but I was... well, there. Old enough to remember. Old enough to see, in my mind in vivid detail, report after report after report, old enough to stay glued to the television, old enough to remember trying to log on to MSNBC.com and have it say across the top "due to extreme, this site may become slower" until it was nothing more than just a splash page with no links, bearing the title "America Attacks". CNN.com did the same thing. I remember ESPN.com going from a little box on the right side saying, "Breaking News: World Trade Center on Fire" to a somewhat bigger box saying, "Both World Trade Center Towers Hit By Airplanes" to the entire site saying something like both MSNBC and CNN had done.

This I remember. And I choose not to forget. I choose not to block out those memories, as horrible as they are, as uncomfortable as they may, as terrible as they might have been. I don't want to forget, because forgetting means that it is pushed back in my mind, like those memories of earlier conflicts and sad days in American history.

Tomorrow is 9 years. Here on this site, I've tried to do or say something each year on 9/11, if only to help me remember--and you too, if you want to remember. Tomorrow, the music playlist will be disabled through the weekend. Tomorrow, I will be doing a special "video based" post on 9/11, walking you through the entire morning. I invite you to come back, take a little more time than you might usually do here, and remember. I don't want to say "enjoy", because I'm hoping you won't. I'm hoping you just remember.

Here are my previous posts on 9/11, if you want some more reading:

From 2005:
Thoughts on 9/11 Part I
Thoughts on 9/11 Part II

From 2006:
Five Years Later: Today's Thoughts
Five Years Later: Where Some of You Were

From 2008:
September 11th Links & Thoughts (its a recap of some of the links I just posted)

Join us tomorrow here on The Clouds...

The Legend of Billie Jean, Billy Ocean & Two Coreys

Okay, two things... first, Facebook! Find the Clouds in My Coffee page and become a fan! My goal is 100!

Secondly, this blog was intended to only be about the music list... however, I have found myself going everywhere--Billy Ocean, "The Legend of Billie Jean", Pat Benatar, Corey Haim, Corey Feldman and more... so don't be surprised when I just trains of thought rapidly.

The Lovely Steph Leann and I were sitting at Dale's Southern Grill tonight, the one over on Hwy 280, having dinner... this is one of our favorite places to eat, with much apologies to Hurricane Rhett and his wife Lily, who seem to have miserable experiences about 84% of the time when they eat out. Lily has told me she's visited the location over on Vestavia, but I think thats the Red Headed Stepchild of the Dale's world, so I'm hoping she ventures to the other two... then again, maybe not.

Anyway, the song "When the Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going" comes on overhead, and we're both kinda quietly singing along... leading to this exchange:

Me: She brushed by me in faded ol' jeans
The Lovely Steph Leann: Um, I think that's "painted on" jeans
Me: Whatever

It got me thinking of the artist, Billy Ocean... he's one of those now-obscure 80s artists that no one under the age of say, 24, has ever even heard of. For example, I just asked Lily, "What's your favorite Billy Ocean song?" and immediately, she answered, "Get Out of My Dreams". Then I asked the same question to my somewhat younger friend Amanda Tuck, who then replied,"I don't know who Billy Ocean is!"

There is a select group of artists that you think to yourself, "Yeah, I think I like one of their songs..." Like, Simple Minds--"Don't Forget About Me" is everyone's standard, and a much smaller minority (like myself) also enjoys, "Alive & Kicking", but beyond that, you got nothing. Maybe The Pet Shop Boys, and beyond "West End Girls" and perhaps that duet with Dusty Springfield, "What Have I Done to Deserve This", and that's it.

But Billy Ocean? You'd be surprised at how many songs by this guy you know, and probably like. I have the same issue with Pat Benatar... its like, "Yeah, I like 'Heartbreaker'... wait, she did 'We Belong', right? Yeah, I like that one too. Oh yeah, I forgot about that 'Legend of Billie Jean' song, I really like that!

SIDEBAR... When you were a kid, was there a cooler movie than "The Legend of Billie Jean"? Let's not fool ourselves--this is a pretty bad film. Helen Slater is this chick who gets in trouble in a situtation that is not her fault, and she and her brother Binx (Christian Slater, in his first movie role, and is actually NOT related to Helen Slater) go on the lam with their friend Putter (Yeardley Smith, who is the voice of Lisa Simpson) and become these heroes to millions of young people everywhere and yell "Fair is Fair!" a whole lot and... well, its crap. But its awesome crap.

The first 3 minutes of "The Legend of Billie Jean"... Its not even available on DVD, so if you ever see it come on USA or Spike or MyNetworkTV on a random Tuesday afternoon, DVR it.

Here are my favorites...

"When the Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going"... its featured in the Michael Douglas/Kathleen Turner flick "The Jewel of the Nile", and as you can see from the video, which I'm sure you will enjoy, it features Douglas, Turner and Danny DeVito as background singers...



"There'll Be Sad Songs"... when I put a song on the Clouds site, I try to listen to the whole song first to make sure its an acceptable copy. Legal? Who knows. Quality? Of course. Anyway, when the music started, and then Billy started singing, I, without even thinking, sang aloud, "Sometimes I wonder by the look in your eyes, when I'm standing beside you, there's a fever burning deep inside..." I haven't heard this song in about 15 years, until tonight.

"Carribean Queen (no more love on the run)"... it was a #1 smash in 1984, and all these years later, a song you can still hear on the radio. There are some songs that are hugely popular in their time ("Better Than You" by Lisa Keith in 1994 comes to mind) that after the initial year or two of radio play, you never hear again. Like tonight at Dale's Southern Grill, this is one you can hear over and over.

"Get Out of My Dreams (get into my car)"... Back when I was growing up in Samson, AL, not only did we have HBO and Sho-time, I had HBO and Sho-time in my room, with a tv and VCR, so I was able to record movies. I had at least 100 movies recorded, each tape holding 3 on Lengthened Play. And yes, I had "The Legend of Billie Jean" recorded. And I also had this Corey Haim/Corey Feldman classic flick, "License to Drive".



It was this silly little comedy about Les (a pre-drug, pre-life has fallen completely apart Corey Haim) failing his drivers test, but lying to his parents and sneaking out to go out with the hottest chick in school, Mercedes (Heather Graham, who's poofy hair alone is worth the price of admission). Who names their kid Mercedes? Seriously? Anyway, "...what could go wrong?"

Of course, a lot goes wrong, and Dean (a pre-drug, pre-life has fallen completely apart Corey Feldman) joins up and they have the proverbial night of their lives. Its a stupid movie. Stupid and totally re-watchable, stupid and totally enjoyable, stupid and totally fun. This is on DVD, so I recommend getting this one.


Oh, Careers of Corey & Corey, where for art thou gone to?

SIDEBAR... While we are on the subject, much is made of the joke that has become Corey Feldman. From Surreal Life to A&E's "The Two Coreys", with Corey Haim, his life has spiraled off course in so many ways. But I gotta tell ya, I was reviewing his IMDB page, and from 1981 to 1989, he had like a Murderer's Row of awesome movies...

In 1981, he was the voice of Copper in "The Fox & the Hound" for Disney, not one of their best, but still considered one of the Disney Classics. (It also featured Keith Coogan, who starred in another one of my favorite films as a kid, "Adventures in Babysitting", but that's an entirely different post) He had a misstep in 1984 with a "Friday the 13th" sequel, but bounced back that same year with "Gremlins". He did another crappy "Friday the 13th" movie, but then, hid his stride... in 1985, he became the envy of every 80s kid when he became a "Goonie", then was in the absolute classic "Stand By Me" in 1986. The next year, he did a vampire film before "Twilight" was even an overrated gleam in Stephanie Meyer's eye, that being "The Lost Boys". In 1988, he did "License to Drive", and then finished his run in 1989 with the underrated Tom Hanks comedy "The 'burbs".

Later in 1989, he also did "Dream a Little Dream" with Corey Haim, at the height of the "Switcheroo Movies" like "Big" and "18 Again" (discussed this phenomenon in my review of "17 Again" in "Jennifer Garner & the McGriddle Effect"). It was a movie not seen by many, but I still really liked it. Anyway, if you take out the two Friday the 13th movies, I dare you to find a string of movies that tops the scale on guilty pleasure and re-watchability.

Where was I?

Ah yes, the songs of Billy Ocean.

"Suddenly"... threw that on the end because its one of his classics.

"Invincible" by Pat Benatar... figured I'd put this on the playlist too. I've heard that at Benatar concerts, when she goes into this song, she says, "Here's one from the worst movie ever made". She apparently wasn't a fan of "The Legend of Billie Jean" like I was.

"Don't You (forget about me)" and "Alive & Kicking" by Simple Minds... also classics, and figured since we were on an 80s tear, I'd add them too.

And if you aren't a fan of The Ocean, or the other 80s stuff I've put up this time, though I can't imagine why, never fear. I'll change it up in a few days...

Funny People

I went and watched "Funny People" the other day... partly because it is a Judd Apatow movie, and Judd does some funny stuff. Partly because I like Adam Sandler in smart films. Partly because I think Seth Rogen is really funny, and even funnier when you throw in Jonah Hill. And partly because I am crushin' on Leslie Mann.



When the movie was over, after the 2:30 running time, I wasn't sure if I thought the movie was great, or the movie was terrible. It was one of the few movies that had the McGriddle Effect--where you either loved it or hated it, but there is no in-between, sort of like a McDonald's McGriddle....

It took me a few days to piece it together, but here's the gist of the film...

George Simmons (Adam Sandler, who can be really great in the right semi-serious roles) is a popular actor and stand up comic who gets a diagnosis that he is dying, due to a rare blood disease. He ends up hiring fledgling stand up comic Ira (Seth Rogen) to be his assistant and right hand man, confidante and eventually, friend.


The trailer to the movie... the line "The ones where you try to kill Bruce Willis" slays me in the the trailer, but it not in the final cut of the film.

Ira leaps at the chance, as both of his other roommates are having much more success in their own careers, like Leo (Jonah Hill) as a writer and comic and Mark (Jason Scwartzman) as an actor on a terrible sitcom, "Yo Teach" and a bagger of hot chicks.

Two thirds of the film is the relationship between George and Ira, as George deals with his upcoming death, and finally, Laura, aka "The One that Got Away" (Leslie Mann) is introduced. She's moved on, she's successful in her own right, with two great kids and a hunky Austrailian husband Clarke (Eric Bana).

The last third of the film comes with George and Laura renewing their relationship, in the midst of a troubled marriage between she and Clarke. And Ira is in there too.

A couple of things about this film... first, I liked it. It took me a few days to determine whether I did or not, but I did. Secondly, this movie has more F-bombs and sexual terms than "District 9" (which rhymed their F-bombs with "duke", not "cluck") and Tarantino's "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children" combined. I mean, alot. I mean, alot alot. If you pop this one in the DVD player, be prepared... though if you've seen "Knocked Up" and "The 40 Year-Old Virgin", you won't be surprised.

Okay, so you know when you have a group of friends in a room, and you are watching a movie that you liked, and you aren't sure they will like it, and so as the movie progresses, you kind of watch the crowd and have this sense of guilt if you feel like they aren't enjoying the movie--even if you didn't pick it out, but especially if you DID pick it out--and you are nervous because you wonder why they aren't laughing at the parts that you think they should laugh at, or you are a little irritated because they get distracted with a phone call or text or something, and when you try to pause it, they wave you off and mouth, "don't pause it, I'll be back" or something like that, and when they come back, you know they missed some of the best parts, but because they aren't interested in rewinding it or knowing what just happened, you know that they really aren't enjoying it and now you feel really guilty and stupid for making them watch it...

...that's how I'll feel if and when I watch "Funny People" in a room full of friends. Though I'm not sure if I'll watch it again.

Bottom line is... be committed to this film. Don't pop it in just as background noise. If you want to see it, watch it. You now know what to expect.

And Leslie Mann is glorious.


Ya know, she's no The Lovely Steph Leann (who is?) and she's not Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, but she is quite striking

And to finish the post, I was going list my favorite Adam Sandler films, but really, looking at my list, its the same as everyone else's...



"Happy Gilmore"... The Bob Barker bit is one of the funniest cinema moments ever
"The Waterboy"... Just a classic guilty pleasure. Silly, stupid fun.
"Billy Madison"... whatever happened to Bridgette Wilson-Sampras, eh?
"The Wedding Singer"... the music makes this one hilarious
and if I had to pick a fifth one, I'd probably say "Bedtime Stories", just because it was fun. And yeah, I'll admit, I kinda dug "50 First Dates", mostly because I adore Drew Barrymore.

Beyond that? Really... most of his work has been... well, crap. Let's call a spade a spade, though not David Spade, because anything without Farley is crap too. "The Longest Yard" was a terrible remake... "Eight Crazy Nights" was a decent attempt at something different, but a terrible movie... "Zohan", "Click", "Little Nicky", "Mr. Deeds", "Anger Management"... he's done some pretty bad films.

Anyway, there's my thoughts on "Funny People" and in a sidebar, Adam Sandler. If you like Apatow films, and you want to make sure you see all of them, watch it. If you are expecting hilarity like "The 40 Year Old Virgin" then this is not the movie for you. And if you want to go more than 40 seconds without hearing a dirty word, then, this is DEFINITELY not the movie for you.

The Smurf Turf

I'm a happy man. The weather has been beautiful, my wife The Lovely Steph Leann is beautiful, I'm sitting in my comfy leather chair and on the screen is college football. Troy wasn't on the television--and if they were I didn't find them--and its okay I didn't see them, because apparently they got blasted by Bowling Green 31-14... I came in from an informal Bible study meeting with Jillip at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) and turned on the tv to see the latter part of South Carolina and NC State, which was won by the Gamecocks, alma mater of DeNick.

Now? Its Boise State and Oregon, and currently, the Broncos lead 10-0 on the Smurf Turf.

THE GO GATORS SCARY RANKING
That scares the be-williez out of me too. Do you know how many teams ranked #1 at the beginning of the season went wire-to-wire and won the title? Four. USC most recently did it in 2004.

The Go Gators were ranked #1 by the widest margin in history, with something like 48,000 votes, while Texas, #2, got what, 0.0005 or something? And that frightens me. This means that there is a good chance the Go Gators will get knocked off. My guess is the October 10th game versus LSU, at LSU, would be the most likely candidate. Hopefully, if they lose, that would the game so they'd have time to rebound and get back to the BCS Championship Game on January 7th.

They are bringing back, like, EVERYONE pretty much, so if they do repeat, it won't be a shock. However, its almost a "too good to be true".

Here's essentially why it scares me... remember the Georgia Bulldogs? They were a heavily hyped #1 in August of 2008. And they finished 13th at 10-3.

This Saturday, they are favored by 73... thats SEVENTY THREE over Charleston Southern. I would feel bad for Chuck South except for the fact they are getting something like $450K for the game, so bring it on.

THINGS I BELIEVE ABOUT TIM TEBOW
First, if Florida beats Ole Miss in 2008, instead of being stunned 31-30, then the Go Gators run the table all the way up to the SEC Championship game, where they get beaten by Alabama by 6. It was that loss to the Rebels that let the Go Gators know, "Hey, Tebow... you aren't invincible." And they go on to win the championship.

Next, if Tim Tebow goes to Alabama, Mike Shula stays the coach for another year or two. They finished 6-6 in 2006, after Tebow goes to Florida (and helps Chris Leak lead the team to the national title). If Tebow comes to Bama, I think the Tide finishes 8-4, maybe 9-3... they still lose the big games, but perhaps beat Arkansas, Mississippi State and possibly Tennessee.



That would be enough to keep Shula employed by the University of Alabama. Nick Saban, unhappy, still leaves Miami Dolphins and goes elsewhere... Notre Dame? Who knows?... but the Tide get someone else, perhaps not as good as Saban, and with Tebow, they continually win 9, 10, maybe 11 games per year--but no national title. Just my theory.

And finally, something someone else believes about Tim Tebow... my buddy Ryan Sherman said it best, spoken like a diehard Tide fan... "You know, I think Tim Tebow is a great guy. Man, you can't hate him, he's a solid guy, a solid Christ Follower, and I think its awesome he wants to do mission work with his life after football. But, you know, I hope in the first game he breaks his leg. Then he can get to mission work faster."

TROY BEING TROY
Ah, the faithful sounds of the T-R (whoop whoop) O-J (whoop whoop) AAAAAA EEENNNN EEESSSS (wooooo!) Trojans football. And tonight, they get blasted by Bowling Green. And next week, they play the Go Gators. People ask me who I root for, and I say, "Troy", mostly because I know there is more of a chance of He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected saying, "I want to give you all some tax cuts" than the Trojans beating the Gators.

MY FANTASY
So, I'm in a Fantasy Football League for the first time. Matta Latta invited me, and I joined up with The Official Clouds in My Coffee Ombudsman Brad Latta, Mikey, Scotty Latta, Drewski Morris and a few others, and we had our draft this past Sunday night.

My team, Manilow's Revenge, is QB'd by Tom Brady, so my season rests on his knees. I've also got DeAngelo Williams at RB, Brandon Marshall as a WR and Jason Elam as my kicker. And... I drafted Mike Vick as a backup QB. Yes, yes, he's not available until Week 3, but still, I think when McNabb goes down (and he will), Vick will come out and be great again. He's got nothing to lose.

How can I like Vick? I don't, necessarily. I thought when we with the Falcons, he was kind of a pud, but he was an amazing athlete. And no, I don't condone what he did. His dog fighting was horrific, and the things he did with those dogs is horrific... but he served his time. Whether I feel it was punishment enough (which I do) isn't the point... the point is, not only did he do his jail time, he's been crucified and hated in the public, and his career is very close to being as ruined as his reputation.

Besides... Plaxico Burress is spending what, a year or more in jail for shooting himself in the leg, something stupid he did to himself... but Donte Stallworth gets drunk, kills someone while driving and only gets 24 days? Don't tell me Vick didn't serve long enough.

RELAXATION, CORONA STYLE
I don't drink. But if I did, I'd want to drink Corona, but only if I'm sitting on a beach, next to The Lovely Steph Leann, in a lounge deck chair on a beach with a cool breeze blowing, small table between us with two long neck bottles filled with cool refreshment, topped with two perfectly sliced pieces of lime.

They make drinking seem nicer than Bud Light, Miller Lite, that German green bottled beer I can't spell and Pabst Blue Ribbon ever do.


This would be typical of The Lovely Steph Leann and I... if we were drinkers

Though Samuel Adams looks like a cool beer to drink. It looks like a beer that me, as a cultured intellectual would drink.

But I don't drink.

d$'s PREDICTIONS
The current AP Top 10 is as follows: 1) The Go Gators... 2) Texas... 3) Oklahoma... 4) USC... 5) Alabama... 6) Ohio State... 7) Virginia Tech... 8) Ole Miss... 9) Oklahoma State... 10) Penn State

Here's how yours truly, d$, predict the season will play out. The final AP top ten will be:
1) Texas (I predict they win the national title)
2) Penn State (I predict Texas blasts Penn State something like 54-10 in the BCS title game)
3) Florida
4) USC
5) Ohio State
6) Boise State
7) TCU
8) Alabama
9) Oklahoma
10) Georgia

Mark it down. Bet on it. I can see the future. Look at this post on January 8th and you'll see for yourself.

THE SMURF TURF (and colleen's song) REIGNS
I've been blogging all along during the game, chatting with The Lovely Steph Leann about who wants to go with us to The Happiest Place on Earth (can you believe we're actually having a little trouble filling that spot?), and doing some random surfing on the interweb.

Tomorrow night, we hang out with Croyle and his wife Britlicious, and new friends Phil & Colleen. Went into Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) Middle School Ministry...

...okay, so "middle school" is the new norm? what was wrong with "junior high"? nothing! junior high ministry works just as well, perhaps better than middle school ministry. whoever changed that is probably responsible for dropping "junior college" from most junior colleges and turning them into "community college". you don't call junior varsity teams "middle varsity" or "community varsity", do you? not yet, anyway.

...and Colleen sang a song that she wrote. It was amazing. With apologies to Factor 7, I've only got one song written and sung by a friend that has anywhere over 2 plays on my iPod, and that's Joel Blount's song "Sunday Afternoon", which currently is in my Top 100 songs (11 plays). If I had Colleen's song, and I don't even know the title, on my iPod, it would rival it, easily. It was that good.

Finally... Go Gators.

My Lesley Foley Impersonation (Reunion II)

One of the best (or worst, depending on who you are) parts about a class reunion, be it five, ten, fifteen or beyond, is seeing people that you hadn't seen in a long, long time. Friends you had, chicks you crushed on, people you didn't care for (but can't remember quite why), people you just knew and were used to seeing every day for years and years and suddenly, strangely, they are completely out of your life in every way possible.

When it comes to my own reunion back in 2002, for my 10th year anniversary of the Class of 1993, I saw some faces I welcomed like Chris McCall, Tonya Windham, Greg Avant, Stephanie Phillips, Tammy Thomas... now, with the except of Greg, I can keep up with them via Facebook. Some people, like my 4th grade crush Misty Kimble, I haven't actually seen since we walked off the football field around 8:30pm graduation night.

I think anyone who had been to a high school reunion will relate to some of this... just like The Lovely Steph Leann and DeLisa, who were attending their 15th anniversary of the Baker High School (Mobile, AL) Class of 1994.

After the treasure hunting that DeNick and I went on Saturday morning, as reported in my previous post, we all met back at the house for lunch at Baudean's Seafood. After lunch, I took a short nap, The Lovely Steph Leann took an unfortunately-for-her shorter nap, and DeLisa and DeNick did stuff there at DeLisa's DeParents house. He probably went fishing for a little while, and she just took it easy, being what, four months pregnant or something.

Around 445p or so, we were ready to leave. I won't be revealing any espionage type secrets in saying that DeNick wasn't thrilled about going, as he could care less about going to his own reunion, while I had mixed feelings about it myself. A whole room of people I had never seen nor heard of, in a class large enough to have people that DeLisa and The Lovely Steph Leann, actual members of this class, had never met or heard of.


Yours Truly and The Lovely Steph Leann at her high school reunion. Gosh, we're cute.

But, DeNick is a loving husband and supportive of his wonderful wife, who actually helped put it together, and was going for her. I had dragged The Close Friend Steph Campbell to my aforementioned reunion years and years ago, and like DeNick, was willing to support my wife in her ventures, so away the four of us went.

The reunion was held at The Blue Gill Restaurant over in nearby Spanish Fort, out on the patio. While DeLisa had scrounged around for her 1994 Senior Yearbook, "The Novis", The Lovely Steph Leann had dug in the archives to find a ton of pictures, spirit ribbons, buttons and all sorts of nostalgic memorabilia. We walked through the restaurant to find a girl named Lynn Sprouse (now Kilgore), who quickly became one of my favorites of the night. It seemed that DeLisa and Lynn were part of a larger committee to help plan this shindig, but over time, it became ONLY DeLisa and Lynn planning this shindig, so while friendly enough, Lynn was quick to point out the failings of some other people. And it made me laugh.


DeNick's expression tells of his joy at being at a high school reunion

We spread the memory junk on the table for all to see, along with a guest book for people to write their current information, plus a space to put "feedback for a possible 20th year reunion". To this, I later looked and found someone had simply written "yes".

The food was heavy hors d'oeurvres, which was veggies, chicken fingers and peel-n-eat shrimp. DeLisa had mentioned this earlier, so I was fairly excited because I'm not talented in very many areas, but one thing I can do very well is eat shrimp. Imagine my disappointment when a tray was brought out full of shrimp, covered in what looked like cajun spices. I am NOT a spice person... enough spice to make a young Dakota Fanning go, "Hmm, that is a little spicy" is probably enough to make me say, "Holy crap, that's friggin' hot!"

DeNick and I sat and chatted for a few, while The Lovely Steph Leann and DeLisa began making rounds with people as the Class of 94 slowly trickled in. We eventually ventured out of the patio, down a ramp and to the backside where a small boat and an air boat sat floating in dirty water next to the dock. We walked around for a moment, then shrugged and walked back to the covered patio with everyone.

The patio was really divided into two parts, the first under the cover was the reunion party, with a small bar in the corner and chick bartenders that looked barely old enough to drive, much less serve alcohol. There was a rope splitting the patio, with the other side being an open dining area for the regular patrons, and a small stage where a band called... "The DTs"? "The Deets"?... played. If you or your husband is 30+ and feels the need to play guitar on the weekends with some other dudes and sing cover songs at a bar for tips, then you could have been in the DTs. First song they played? "Hard to Handle" by The Black Crowes.

DeLisa was having trouble with the laptop she brought, as it was supposed to loop a long video showing high school pictures and such, so DeNick saved the day and got it working. Meanwhile, I sat at the table, free Coke in hand (soft drinks were free, beer was $3 a pop, mixed drinks were at least $5), when I looked over and saw The Lovely Steph Leann's camera. I looked around and saw her talking to someone I obviously didn't know, so I opened up her camera case and took a few shots. I put the camera strap around my neck, and took a few more.

And thus, it began.

Somehow, over the course of the evening, I unofficially became the official photographer. Heck, it occupied my time and kept me busy. I would take candid shots of people at tables, snapshots of people looking at the memorabilia, the food, the bar, the ramp to the dock which somehow became the smoker's paradise cancer ward of the reunion, people drinking, people hugging, people dancing and everything in between. I had on a name tag that said "d$" in large print, and under it, it said (The Lovely Stephanie Campbell), so everyone who know who I belonged to, so I didn't think anything about it.

That is, until DeLisa came up to me and told me people were asking about my photography. Nervous that perhaps I had invaded someone's space, I asked what she was talking about, and DeLisa laughed that some people thought that perhaps I was hired for the night, and many were wondering when and how they would get to see all the pictures I was taking. I kinda smiled, a little bewildered and... well, just kept on taking pictures.

Lynn came to me and asked me about a group shot, and if we should do it in the band's next break, or wait a little longer for more people to arrive (by now it was a good 90 minutes or more into the festivities).

"Well, I would do it the next band break. Most people are here already, and those who aren't should be--their loss. The big problem is, if you wait much later, you're going to lose people who will start leaving early." She asked me, as if I was a professional photographer, where we should take it. Really, I had no clue which area would be the best--do we take it with the sunset in the background, but run the risk of it washing out the faces? Or do we move it to the other side, and run the risk of being too dark? I mean, who am I, Lesley Foley of Lesley Foley Photography? Finally, I pointed out a clear area next to the railing, by the bar. "Move that table, and everyone can gather there."

The band took a break, and Lynn and I started gathering people up. We herded everyone together, and though significant others and spouses all had cameras ready to take group pictures, I stood atop a bar stool with the camera. DeNick and I shouted out instructions... "move in a little more!"... "you, in the blue shirt, move over a little bit"... "need the front row to kneel a little bit!"... "I'm going to take three pictures, starting on the count of three!"

Somehow, it worked.


The Baker High School Class of 1994... or some of them, anyway...

Later in the evening, I sat down for a small plate of cold chicken fingers and lukewarm ranch dressing, and not too long after, was Baker Class of 94 member Cameron Lee joining me, with his pretty--and very pregnant wife--Amanda (I think?). Cameron asked me, "You done taking pictures already?"

"Nah, I'll probably take a few more. Just taking them for my wife, figured she's too busy to do it." I replied.

"Well," Cameron said, "I call your bluff on that one. You've been busy with that camera all night. Aren't you a photographer?"

"Ha!" I laughed. "I mean, who am I, Lesley Foley of Foley Photography, serving the Florida Panhandle and Southern Alabama, contact 850-543-7407? No, I'm just taking them for my wife The Lovely Steph Leann."

We chatted for a little while longer, then I got up and did what I was doing best for the evening--took more pictures. I was in line getting The Lovely Steph Leann a drink, and two girls turned around and said, "Oh, get our picture!", so I took it. This sort of happened all evening, as I would lift the camera, some, if not all, of my intended targets would pose, or smile or whatever.


The Lovely Steph Leann, DeLisa and a few others laugh up the old days.

Met a guy named Shannon, later, as he talked to The Lovely Steph Leann. They were friends in high school, along with a chick named Tina, and I guess another girl named Raina, and Shannon told me he thought I was the photographer, and was surprised to find I was merely Stephanie's husband.


This chick gets the award for "Most Perky Beer Koozy of the Night"

Now, while all the photo-snapping was going on, lest you think I abandoned DeNick. Quite the opposite, actually... he was my go-to guy for one liners and cracks. We had developed a habit of observing people as they came in, and going to the yearbook and seeing how much they changed... the following is a few things we observed over the course of the night:

"Those aren't real."
"I checked her photo. She's pretty hot now, especially since she got her eyebrows under control."
"Time has not been good to him."
"Time has not been good to her."
"Wow... time has been that guy's friend, I think."
"Dude, time has been very, very good to her."

And my favorite exchange of the night:

DeNick: That chick's top... not many people can do a top like that, but she managed to pull it off.
Me: I'm sure a few more beers and thats exactly what she'll do
DeNick (leaning over, trying not to choke on his $3 brew)

A few more observations from the night...

**Christy Turner gets the "Most Improved Award", tied with Ashley Sossaman. Both went from cute in their yearbook pics to hot 15 years later.

**At least at the beginning, the group covered the room like this... the really attractive girls and guys were over on one side in a huddle. The not quite as attractive girls and guys were on the other side. The black couple sat alone at a table. Ahhh, just like high school.

**The lone black couple were very, very nice. They sat for the entire evening, just enjoying the food and conversing with whoever sat down with them for however long they were sitting, but they were really great to talk to.

**Talked to one girl--and I'll be vague--and she was telling me, "See this chick walking in right now? Let me tell you..." and she proceeded to tell me some of the unnice things that had happened. When the offending chick walked in, she and the girl hugged tightly, squealed each others names, and hugged again. When offensive chick walked away, the girl came back to me, and said, "...like I was saying...". I don't get you women.

**I was trying to take a picture through the crowd of a chick named Shelly. I had the perfect shot, and right as I snapped the button, she picked her fork up with a big chunk of food on it. The flash went off, she looked up and gave me the stink eye. I held my hands up and mouthed "sorry!" No more pictures of Shelly for the night.

**As in most reunions, there is at least one that didn't make it for other reasons than "didn't want to come". Such was the case with Chris Mason, who apparently lost his life in military service. They had a small table set up with his picture, a letter from Dubya and some other small items. Made me smile when DeNick looked at it, had a disgusted look on his face, then picked up an empty beer bottle from sitting on the table. "They can leave it next to the cake, but don't leave your trash on this table. That's not right."

**Random observation... no matter the length of time, sometimes bitterness doesn't die. Just sayin'.

**There was one guy not in the Class of 94 that made me grab DeNick and say, "Check this out! Ron Jeremy is here!" He wasn't Ron Jeremy, but he had a 70s porn fro' and a great 70s porn 'stache if I ever saw one... not that I really ever have, mind you, but the stereotype is there for a reason.


This pic doesn't do it justice.

We were set to leave, it was late, most had already gone and as we meandered out the door, I had a few people ask me how to find the pictures. I told them they needed to be The Lovely Steph Leann's friend on Facebook.

Mandy Blansett sat on a bench near the front of the restaurant, and as we were working our way through, she said, "Thank you for taking pictures tonight!" I had already been hugged for such activities by a girl named Raina, who was very pleased to also have met me, though I cannot remember at any time talking to her before she hugged me. I smiled at Mandy and said, "You're welcome. It was fun."

"How much are they paying you?" she asked.

I looked at The Lovely Steph Leann, who just smiled. "They didn't pay me," I replied. "I'm just taking pictures for Stephanie, because she was too busy to do it."

"Really? Wow! I thought surely they had hired someone like you to do it!"

"I mean, who am I, Lesley Foley of Foley Photography, who's website can be found here?" I asked. "Nope, just taking some pictures at will."

Then a discussion opened up between Mandy and The Lovely Steph Leann, who is a Creative Memories Consultant and can be found here online.

So that's the Baker High School Class of 94 Reunion in a nutshell. Met some fun people that won't remember me tomorrow, took some pictures, ate some cold chicken fingers and had a great weekend with The Lovely Steph Leann, hanging out with DeNick and DeLisa... two truly wonderful people that we don't see enough of.

FYI... Lesley Foley is a friend of The Lovely Steph Leann and DeLisa, and by extension, a friend of mine and DeNick's, and runs a very successful photography business, and I joked about how I was afraid for Lesley to see my pictures as I am not a good photographer, nor do I use a Nikon... so I thought I would throw some shout-outs to her and her business for fun. If you are in the panhandle, check her site out--she's pretty good.


Lesley the Photographer

FYII... If you are on Facebook and reading this, search "Clouds in My Coffee" and join the fanpage. I'm on my way to 100, and I want to see how many people I can get before The Lovely Steph Leann actually joins. DeLisa is a member, as is Lesley Foley of Foley Photography, which you can email at lesley@foleyphotography.com... and if you email her at the site, make sure you answer the question "how did you find me?" with "I had some dreams, they were Clouds In My Coffee, Clouds In My Coffee..." My advice is to stop the song there, though. Keep going and she might not call you back.

Dave & DeNick's Treasure Hunting (Reunion I)

This is the first part of a few posts chronicling my weekend in Mobile, Alabama...

As reported before, I headed to Mobile this past weekend with The Lovely Steph Leann, and our friends DeNick and DeLisa. It seems that somehow, someway, we always end up spending the weekend with them out of town, be it a friends gathering a few years ago, a Disney World trip last fall, and now this, but it always works out.

The Lovely Steph Leann and DeLisa were graduates of Baker High School in 1994, and this was the 15th anniversary of that very same class. DeLisa had been heavily involved in planning this reunion, and The Lovely Steph Leann was along for the ride... which meant that spouses like myself and DeNick were also along for the ride.

We left Friday afternoon around 4pm, and had an uneventful ride down--I say "uneventful" because I slept for the first two hours of it. We did stop at Steak-n-Shake in Prattville, upon my suggestion because, really, I love some Steak-n-Shake. I wish there was one here in Birmingham, but part of me is glad, because some of the appeal might wear off--I've not been to Whataburger nearly as much as I thought I would now that they are in town.

But boy do I miss Denny's.

Anyway, we were staying at DeLisa's parents house to which we arrived around 9p or so, unloaded, and then had cake, chatted it up with DeMom and spent 45 minutes watching the sonogram video of DeNick & DeLisa's baby coming soon. She's due in January. I got to watch a little Dateline NBC, always a good time.

The reunion party wasn't until 6pm the next evening, so the subject of "What are we going to do tomorrow" came up, and DeLisa and The Lovely Steph Leann had their answer. They were going to go get chicked out with one of those mani-pedi type mornings at a place that does such things.

My version of a manicure is when I bite the fingernail of my index finger. Done. DeNick also had no desire for such things, so we chatted for a moment about what we could do for the morning. DeLisa said, "You should go to Hudson's." I looked at her, then to DeNick and asked, "What's Hudson's?"

A smile crept across DeNick's face. Essentially, he explained, its this big store that has tons and tons of random closeout things, of all types, sizes, prices and so on. Kind of like Big Lots, I say, and both DeNick and DeLisa shake their heads. No, better (worse?) that Big Lots.

"I'm in," I say immediately. You know you are a blogger when you look for opportunities to take pictures and discuss the strange places you go.

The next morning, The Lovely Steph Leann was already at breakfast, ready to get her chick on with DeLisa, before I was even fully awake. I figured I'd shower later (which I did), and was pleasantly surprised at what DeDad had cooked up... biscuits, eggs, bacon and cheese grits, which were delish to the core--I had two big helpings of such.

Finally, the girls were gone and the boys headed to Hudson's Treasure Hunt. And of course, I took some pictures...


Here's Hudson's, right off of... Schillengers? It was in a shopping center next to a Dollar General, which, let me tell ya, where EVA-REE-WHERE.


In case you want to look like Mary-Kate... or Ashley... whichever's which... you can buy their hair care products! Oh, and don't eat for three days and smoke like a chimney. That would do it.


I don't know that I can come up with a price that I wouldn't pay, or at least consider, to see The Lovely Steph Leann wear a pair of pants like these, even for a brief moment.


Don't be deceived by this aisle. Despite the fact there were a 1,000 DVDs here, there were many of the same ones, so you had about 15 titles to choose from. They were all $4.99 though, so it was tempting to purchase the entire first season of Gene Simmons Family Jewels.


Let me be clear... if this ever ends up on our shelves in The Cabana, call the police. Because if this is in our house, that means that The Lovely Steph Leann is dead, and if you didn't hear me talk about it, then I had something to do with her disappearance. Thats the only way this would ever make it in our home. And if you decide to give us this for a gift, even a gag gift, she WILL throw it away. Just sayin'.


So, if you are looking at your shopping list, and it says Advil, hair scrunchies, triple A batteries, Coca-cola flavored lip balm, gift wrap tape dispensers AND condoms, then not only can you get it all at Hudson's Treasure Hunt, you can get it all standing IN THE SAME SPOT! What convenience!!

We finished up our walking around at Hudson's, which also included tours of the hardware that featured $124 dollar hammers--why would you ever need a hammer that cost more than $20?--and axes that not only had the blade plastic cover missing, but were on the bottom shelf for your child's easy reaching and DeNick bought a few things and I bought a cheap flashlight for the car.

We were back in the truck we were riding in and were heading back to DeMom's house, when DeNick pipes up, "Hey! I just remembered... if you think that was bad, there's another place down the road called Hudson's Dirt Cheap."

First of all, any place with the words "Dirt" and "Cheap" in them--done. I'm all about it. I shared this sentiment with my riding buddy, and we turned the Trooper around and headed thataway.

I figured out that Hudson's Treasure Hunt was like Big Lots threw up. And if that place was Big Lots throwing up, then Hudson's Dirt Cheap was Big Lots squatting and take a huge crap. This place was reeeeeediculous... piles of junk everywhere. Anywhere. The shelves were dirty, the items were opened, broken, strewn about, the packages were sometimes empty, and there was the most random assortment of crap you could possibly imagine.



And the crazy thing was, the place was packed. There was a ton of people walking the aisles, picking stuff up, ready to purchase.

There was a lady near the front on the phone, sifting through a big cardboard bin of makeup supplies and such, and I heard her say, "Yeah, they've got dozens of shades here, like, 3 for a dollar! Would you like me to pick you up some?" And then she turned to the littler girl next to her, swatted the hand, and said, "Don't you dare put that anywhere near your mouth!"


They had plenty of toiletry items here, including a seat. And no, I didn't stage this picture by putting this on the shelf. DeNick saw me taking a picture of it, and said plainly, "Now THAT... I wouldn't touch." Touche.


This is one of my worst fears. I write a book that I'm very proud of, hopefully you will all buy and enjoy, and some years later, I find it on the shelves of Hudson's Dirt Cheap. I might have to walk into traffic.


A couple of things to notice about this picture... first, the yellow tag on the shelf. That would be a Wal Mart tag. And many of the shelves had Wal Mart yellow price stickers on them, as in, Hudson's Dirt Cheap hadn't even bothered to clean the shelves off. Secondly, notice the price tag actually on this box of crayons... it says $4.99. It was on a 50% off shelf, so for about $2.50, you are getting a rather attractive box of 120 Crayola Premium Crayons. Heck, it even says "Surprise Inside!" So open the box and...


...surprise! A bunch of used, broken and missing crayons! What a deal!


Be honest... if you are brave enough to buy the clothes, how many of you are brave enough to venture into the Changing Coops dressing rooms?

Finally, DeNick and I had about all the Hudson's Bargain hunting we could stand, and once again, was heading to DeLisa's parents home, when once again, DeNick piped up, "Hey, you know what else is around here? The flea market!"

So, off we went. It was nearing noon by this time, and we knew our respective chicks were probably close to being done with their chicked out morning, so we figured we would swing in and just take a look around.


Suffice to say, as far as hilarity ensuing, it was just eh. Actually, it was quite organized... while neither one of us found a whole lot we were interested in purchasing, we were quite impressed by the way it was laid out. It was clean, it had a wide variety of things for sale--movies, music, comics, clothes, knick knacks, paddywhacks, the dogs and the bones--and I even paid 50 cent for disc one of WWE Raw Is War 15th Anniversary Collection.

There were lots of animals here for sale including...


...chickens for $10. Seriously, it was almost worth ten dollars to see the look on The Lovely Steph Leann's face when I came back with a rooster in a cage. I didn't do it, however, because as priceless as that look might be, and as much enjoyment as DeNick would get out of it, I would then have a chicken I'd have to do something with, and I'd have a very annoyed wife to deal with later. Just not worth it. Almost, but not quite.

We finished up, and headed back to DeMom's house, and this time, DeNick had nothing else to toss in there. I took a shower when we arrived, DeNick headed out to the pier behind the house and we waiting for the chicks to come back, which they did.

We had lunch at Baudean's, a pretty decent if somewhat overpriced seafood joint down the road, and then just relaxed for the afternoon. The Lovely Steph Leann got in a nap, as did I, before we got up and prepared to face The Class of 1994.

The Shawstavia Redemption

Where are we? Currently, sitting in the back of a police cruiser, handcuffed, in April of 2003. Find out how I got there by reading Part I.

As I sat down to finish the story, The Lovely Steph Leann was headed upstairs to lay that pretty little head to sleep. I mentioned that I had to finish my blog story, which she had not read yet. She asked which story, I told her it was the 2003 arrest, and she rolled her eyes. "I cannot believe you are telling that story." Then she disappeared upstairs.

Back to the story...

The Ford Explorer slowed down as it past the motel parking lot. I watched it turn right onto Highway 31, disappear for a few seconds, then reappear in the shopping center parking lot. I could see in the windows a very confused looking Wookiee behind the wheel, with Mikey and Tom and Shawn with him. The Explorer pulled to the front of the motel, almost looking like they were checking in.

My wrists were a little pained, by the way. Officer Tennessee Titan running back Eddie George had slapped on the handcuffs a little tight, so when Eddie George came back to the car, I asked if he would loosen them a little. I leaned over with my hands out, he obliged, uncuffed and then re-locked them.

Eddie George then turned around to see none other than Deucemate Tom Johnson headed walking towards them. They conversed for a minute or so, apparently with Tom asking permission to take my car back to The Deuce, which was denied, and then asking some questions about my situation... my best guess some years later would be him asking first, "Why is my roommate handcuffed in the back seat of a police car?"

This is different from the question Mikey would have asked, which would be, "Is he going to be deported, and if so, can I get him to sign his rent check real quick?"

Tom came over to the police car, under the watchful eye of Eddie George, looked in the window with a grin and said, "Hey d$." I nodded, "'sup Tom?"

We then chatted for a moment about the weather, about the prospects of Auburn and Alabama this coming fall, the possibility of you know, posting bail and I'm sure Tom made some remark about the soap being dropped and how that was a bad idea.

With Eddie George's permission, Tom was able to go to my car and pull out my debit card. I told Tom to go get about $200 cash out of my account, gave him my pin number, asked him to call Starbucks to let them know I've been delayed (re: detained) and sent him on his way.

About this time, with the fresh smell of bacon in the air, the Vestavia Hill Popo showed up. An old, gruff officer got out, had some words with Eddie George, and just like that, Officer Tennessee Titan running back Eddie George opened the back car door, asked me to step out, and then turned me over to Officer Grumpsalot. Without a word, Officer Grumpsalot opened the back door to his Vestavia Hills Police Cruiser and motioned me inside, which I did with little reaction.

He got behind the wheel, then began the drive up the hill to the Vestavia Hills Police Department. Unlike Eddie George, Officer Grumpsalot didn't say anything. He actually lowered his window about an inch or so, and lit up a smoke. Part of me was bothered by this, because really, I didn't pay a speeding ticket, and had an expired tag... sure that was wrong, and yeah, I need to pay some fines and such, but here I was, sitting in the back of a police car and now the Officer who isn't likely to win any congeniality awards is inhaling a cig, with smoke wafting back to me. There was a cage between us, not glass.

However, another part of me was quite amused by this. I don't feel sorry for anyone in the back of a police car, because whether the punishment fits the crime, the law is what it is, and here's an old school police officer lighting up a Marlboro, and I'm sure if I had said anything about it, he probably would have not only told me where to stick it, whatever "it" might be, he might tell me to go perform bad things on my own accord. So I kept quiet, slowly developing second hand cancer from the ride to the station.

I sighed and half-smiled as we passed Starbucks, the same one that I was supposed to be working at, by now a good 30 minutes. Keep in mind, I'm still wearing my Starbucks hat and my red shirt... and several of the officers frequent this Starbucks. Unfortunately, Eddie George nor Officer Grumpsalot were one of those.

We pulled into the station, he got out, pulled me out and led me inside, through a small lobby and into the booking room. That's right, I said "booking room". I could see the camera set up at the far end, and in the next room, a small counter with a few pads of black ink--fingerprinting. Beyond that, a small doorless entry way leading to what I glimpsed and could only guess to be... jail cells. Two of them, one on each side.

Another man, a tall, heavyset guy who looks like he'd be completely comfortable sitting 1) on a Harley hog and 2) at a buffet, was getting his mugshot taken. Officer Grumpsalot uncuffed me, handed me over to a nice older lady who could have passed for my grandmother, were she not wearing a police uniform and about to take my mug shot. She instructed me to stand in front of the camera, and hold a small black board.

The black board read, in removable tile letters "D-A-V-I-D D-O-L-L-A-R", and had a series of numbers under it. I held it, faced the camera, and it flashed. "Turn to the side, sweetie," she instructed, as if she were offering me a glass of tea to go with my cookies. I turned, held the sign beside me and the camera flashed again.

She led me over to the fingerprinting area, where Philo Beddoe the Biker was standing. She told me to just have a seat until Philo was done. I sat, sighing, leaning back in the chair. Really, I could have been upset... but why? It is what it is. I messed up, I was careless, and I got caught. I honestly found the entire episode more funny than anything else, though I was little worried about missing my shift at Starbucks, and there still was the issue of The Girlfriend Steph Leann, though by now, I had decided to just not tell her.

As I sat, a few of the police officers that I recognized walked in. One, who we called Officer Spill due to his propensity for knocking over drinks on our Starbucks counter (he'd done it twice by this time), saw me, looked bewildered, then smiled. "Well, guess we had better be careful that you don't spit in our drinks, huh?" I smiled back, thinking to myself, "Yep, and you no longer are going to receive quality drinks from my hand."

Remember that scene in "Con Air", when Cyrus the Virus asks Guard Falzon, "Oh, stewardess? Stewardess? What's the in-flight movie today?" and Guard Falzon says,"Well, I think you'll like it, Cyrus. It's called "I'll Never Make Love to a Woman on the Beach Again", and it's preceded by the award-winning short, "No More Steak for Me, Ever". He laughs and walks away, and Cyrus the Virus throws out a fake laugh before saying, "Funny f($**@+, aren't ya?"

I felt like that.

Philo Beddoe was done with his fingerprinting, and the officer led him into the small adjacent room. I heard the groan, followed a few seconds later by the clanging of a jail cell door closing. I was led to the fingerprinting counter, and the older lady with me gently took my left hand, then put my index finger on the ink pad. She rolled it onto the black ink, then moved it over to a large card.

My finger was placed and rolled on a square marked "Left Index". A few seconds later, the square marked "Left Middle" was marred by a black fingerprint, followed by the ring, the pinky, then the thumb.

Philo Beddoe, from inside his cell, called out, "Can I call my brother again?" One of the officers responded, "Yeah, just give me a minute and I'll get you the phone." I asked, "What are you in for?" and Philo Beddoe responded, "Funny thing, really. I got a speeding ticket about five years ago, right before I was moving to Florida. Forgot that I got it. I haven't been back to Birmingham in five years, and I came this weekend to see my parents. Got pulled over for some routine traffic stop, and here I am. What about you?"

"Dude, that sucks. Yeah, kinda the same. Got a ticket I forgot to pay, so here I am."

"Tell you one thing, man. When my brother gets here and gets me out, I ain't never coming back to Birmingham again. That's for dang sure."

I looked at the officer who was finishing up inking and rolling my right hand and asked, "Am I going to be in the jail cell?"

She nodded and said, "Yes."

What was jail like, you ask? Well, all I can say is, the first night's the toughest, no doubt about it. They march you in naked as the day you were born, skin burning and half blind from that delousing crap they throw on you, and when they put you in that cell, when those bars slam home, that's when you know it's for real. Old life blown away in the blink of an eye. Nothing left but all the time in the world to think about it. Most new fish come close to madness the first night. Somebody always breaks down crying. Happens every time. The only question is, who's it gonna be? I remember my first night. Seems like a long time ago.

Fortunately for me, The Deuce saved the day. A police officer came in and saw me, red shirt, black Starbucks hat, black inked fingers and nodded. "Your d$, right?" I nodded. "You got an entourage out here."

I followed him out into the main lobby, and there stood Mikey, Shawn, the honorable Rev'rn Ty, Tom, Wookiee and my buddy Demastus, Atty at Law, and as I walked in, the applauded. I nodded my head, smiled, and bowed.

"So, uh... can I get a ride to work?" I asked into the crowd.

The aftermath started by getting my car out of impound, which cost me about $110. I had to pay my fines, which strangely enough wasn't as much as I thought. Because I had such an old speeding ticket, my license was suspended unbeknownst to me. So when I was stopped, it was taken from me, and I was given a "driving with a suspended license" fine, in addition to my expired tag fine, and of course, the cost of the original ticket. However, I paid $155 the night I was sprung from prison, and subsequently, that was it. I called later, and was told that it was now paid up with my previous payment.

To this day, I'm not sure if the $155 I paid was for the tag, the license or the ticket, or maybe it was discounted because I'm a member in good standing of The Deuce, and truly, The Deuce Abides.

Now... The Girlfriend Steph Leann was another story. I went on to work, and caught much ribbing from the fellow baristas about being a convicted felon in their midst. Bummed a ride home, and the next morning, I got a phone call. It was Stephanie.

"Hey baby, how are ya?" she asked.
"I'm great," I responded. I had gone back and forth on whether to tell her or not, and had decided that I would just keep quiet, for now. Perhaps one day, when we were married, sitting on our front porch just covered in grandchildren and saying things like "No!" and "Stop that!", I would pipe up and say, "Hey, let me tell you a funny story about a time before we were engaged."

I never had that chance.

"So how was your night last night? Anything in particular you want to tell me?" she asked. She knew. Somehow, some way, she knew.
"Nothing really. Worked. Came home."
"Was ARRESTED?!?!?!"
"Well, yeah, that too."
"Yeah, Ty called me last night. I was eating dinner with my parents, and got this phone call, and had to fake it with them like it was nothing. YOU'D BETTER BE GLAD YOU DIDN'T CALL ME, OR I WOULD HAVE LEFT YOUR (@**# A#($** IN JAIL!!!" (she didn't really say curse words or use punctuation in her comments, but it was rather strong). To this day she still contends that she would have left me there. And to this day, I still remember that Rev'rn Ty sold me out.

All these years later, the whole thing still resonates. Sometimes people ask me if I'm rehabilitated. Well, there's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I was in jail, or because you think I should be. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a crap word. So you go on and make your judgements, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a rip.

So there it is. The story that was never told has now been told. Perhaps Mikey, Tom, Wookiee, Shawn-Fu, Ty and The Lovely Steph Leann will remember it differently, but that's how it happened in my mind. Hope you enjoyed my tale of lawlessness, reckless abandon and appreciate the fact I left out the gangster wars and rape from my time in the joint.

Thank you again for reading the blog, and here's to the next 500 posts, to getting to 50,000 hits in the next two years and I'll have you to thank for it all. You guys rock.