The Bad Career of a Good Katherine Heigl

So, we have the movie channels on our Dish Network satellite system, and though the legendary channels like HBO and Showtime are there, we have to say that we do enjoy the Starz Channels and now the somewhat new Epix Channels, as both are full of movies that only recently were in theaters.

We've DVR'd no less that 10 films that were out in theaters a year ago or sooner, and have been watching them night by night... in fact, when our promotional price runs out in February, I'm pretty sure we'll still pay for them, cause they rule.

One of the movies we ended up watching was a little film called "Life As We Know It", starring Josh Duhamel and Katherine Heigl.   Set in Atlanta, they play Messer and Holly, respectively, and are set up on a blind date by their besties Peter and Allison.  Things go from bad to worse as Messer and Holly despise each other from the get-go.  And things then go even further south when Peter and Allison are killed in an accident.  Well, imagine Messer and Holly's surprise when they find out that Peter and Allison's one year old daughter, Sophie, has been left to the two of them in the form of guardianship.

Oh, look... its the poop on the face joke.  Never seen that.  Original.

And, you can imagine what happens next... they hate each other, but are forced to live together to take care of Sophie, but end up somehow getting along after a while and, well, guess what, they share a bed and decide they just love each other now.  Perhaps I just gave away the ending of the film, but seriously, you had to know where this was going.

My problem with this film is the actual entire premise itself.

Let's say that The Lovely Steph Leann spits out a girl in December, which seems to be the going consensus around my circle of people.   So, a year later, we are at Epcot and the top row of Soarin' collapses--because we refuse to ride anything other than the top row--and we both die, leaving Lorelei Addison parentless.

Well, during that year between our child's birth and our own untimely death, we decided that, should we die, we wanted our friends Marky Mark and his wife Cindy Jo to become guardians of our dear offspring.  In my mind, and this is just me being crazy, this is a conversation we would have had with Marky Mark and Cindy Jo perhaps over dinner, or worst case, a random Wednesday night conversation at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship).  "Hey Warners, would you guys mind at all taking care of our precious daughter in case we, you know, bite it sometime soon?" giving them a chance to talk about it, maybe even say no.

So neither Peter, best friends with Messer, nor Allison, a BFF to Holly, had the foresight to tell their best friends, who incidentally don't even like each other that, upon their own deaths, their kid would become the besties responsibilty?  Who the crack does that?!?

Now, I've watched movies before with glaring problems right from the get-go, and many times, a good story will make for an excellent film, or at least a decent enough film to overcome such issues.  "Life as We Know It" has no such luck.  Its a terrible movie.  A terrible movie.  Its badly written, its badly acted, its even badly edited, something that I usually don't bring up.

Case in point... there is a scene where Messer, who is an Atlanta Hawks NBA broadcast TV producer, is forced to take the baby to work.  The first half of the game when Hawks are playing the New Orleans Hornets goes well enough.  Hilarity and baby hijinks ensue at halftime, and someway, somehow, the Hawks end up playing the Miami Heat the second half.  Good job, "Life As We Know It" edit guys.

Which brings us to the overall subject of Katherine Heigl.  I like Kate Heigl, I always have.  She's fun and she's cute and she does have at least some talent, as I loved Dr. Izzie Stevens on "Grey's Anatomy".  In her younger days, she was fun to watch in a movie, like the kid in "My Father the Hero", and Steven Seagal's niece in "Under Siege 2: Dark Territory", and even as Jade in "Bride of Chucky".  No problem there, right?

I never saw "Roswell", but I've heard the entire cast was great, include Kate Heigl.   But lately, she's like the Ted McGinley of movies... she starred in "The Ugly Truth" with Gerard Butler, which was three shades of awful (Gerard Butler's career is another that can be classified as "overrated")... she did "27 Dresses" which I only saw part of, leaving me with the desire to never see the rest of it.  She was also with Ashton Kutcher in "Killers" which was not necessarily a bad movie... but it wasn't a very good movie either.

I like Kate.  And in the right goofy role, I kinda like Ashton.  This film
should have been better.  Wait, it was.  It was called "Knight and Day".

Here's my take on "Killers"... if you go to the welfare line, and with Obama's taxes many of you will, and ask for your butter and cheese, they will hand you the gub'mint butter and the gub'mint cheese... if you ask for Transformers, they'll hand you Go-Bots.  If you ask for a copy of "Knight and Day", they'll give you a copy of "Killers".  Take that as you will.  Heck, I like Katie Heigl better than Cammy Diaz, but "Knight and Day" is a far superior film that only gets better on subsequent viewings.

She's also got the misfortune in being a part of what is known as the "Movie That Made The Least Amount Of Money, Like Ever, at Theaters to the Tune of $30," a film called "Zyzzyz Road".  That's another story, a great one, you can read at Entertainment Weekly, but lets just say, not a good time had by all.  Or some.  Or anyone, from what I can gather.

In fact, Katie's best film, in my (un)humble opinion, was "Knocked Up", one of Judd Apatow's first movies and a somewhat over-the-line hilarious comedy about two people that hate each other, yet have a child together (sounds familiar?  "Knocked Up" does it right, where as "Life As We Know It"...) and even though its the best film she's had, its the one she denounces.

Look, I like Katherine Heigl.  I want to see her do well, I want her to see her in better films, and perhaps its only her script choices... there is hope on the horizon, though, as she's playing the title role of Stephanie Plum in the "One for the Money" adaptation, based on the Janet Evanovich books.

Kate, if you read this, please choose scripts better.  Because Katherine Heigl's movie Life As We Know It needs some work.

The Summer of Blogging Day Sixty Two