The Happiest Thoughts in the Mall

For research purposes, really, I tried watching Hannah Montana the other night. Not only did I feel sort of creepy, the show wasn't really that funny. I know, I know, I shouldn't be expecting Emmy worthy acting, but still, Billy Ray Cyrus is a pretty terrible actor. How he made all those years of "Doc" on PaxTV (now ION) is beyond me.

Miley Cyrus... I can't look at her without thinking Courtney, one of my WalkAbout alumni. She and Miley look much alike, though truly, Courtney is and will be much prettier. And with her mom, Paula, I don't expect many Vanity Fair cover shoots in Courtney's future.


If your a 15 year old boy, what do you do? One is richer. One is prettier. The answer? You do nothing because, alas, both are out of your league.

Also watched The Wizards of Waverly Place. Thought it was rather funny, actually. The whole concept is that there are this family of Hispanic kids who are also wizards, and they are in training to take some life test (which I can only assume will be in the final episodes of the series). Now, while the show is also poorly acted, it was still rather clever.

Watched the cartoon Phineaus & Ferb... now this show is hilarious. Two step brothers who go one impossibly ridiculous missions (Hey Ferb, they closed the mini-golf course! Let's just build our own! I'll get the crane), their sister Candice, who's life mission it is to get them in trouble, and Perry the Platypus, who is not only Phineaus & Ferb's pet, he's also a secret agent--Agent P. Ridiculous, but its quite clever. It might be worth the whole episode just to hear Ferb speak.

Weirdest feeling, ever... walking through the mall, towards the food court, and glancing over to see one of your middle school students in Victoria's Secret. I shuddered. I threw up in my mouth. I ducked the Dateline crew, headed towards Libby Lu, and went to lunch.

Let me answer the question that is on everyone's... okay, well not everyone's, but many people's minds. Okay, maybe not many people, but a few have asked...

"How are things at The Happiest Place in the Mall???"

And my answer typically is... "Magical."

The truth is, it has been magical. Its been wonderful. Its been so great to not wake up three or four times per week at 4am, or get home at almost 11pm. Its been great watching the kids play, or trying out the new Wall-E foam rocket launcher, or tossing the Power Rangers soccer ball around with another Cast Member, or even doing stock in the back, which is like Christmas sometimes.

The challenge is, that The Happiest Place in the Mall recieves anywhere from 40 to 100 packages of shipment... per day. Per day. And our backroom is not very big. So many a'day I am out there, sweat pouring off my face, box cutter in my hand, cardboard stacked around me, opening up Mickey Lunchtotes, or Cinderella backpacks, or Dalmation snowglobe tumblers, or whatever. So, the organizational skills come in handy.

There is alot to learn, though. The cash register is not as up to date as I'm used to, with Starbucks's systems. So, doing a refund is alot of work sometimes, but I'm getting it. The Cast Members are great--I've taking a liking to Audrey, whom I've enjoyed picking on (those of you who know me know if you get picked at, that means I genuinely like you) and our managers have been very welcoming and helpful and gracious. Another I've taken a liking to is Crystal, whom I've worked with several times, is great on the floor as well.

There are several I haven't worked with, or worked with much to get an impression of, but I'm usually pretty good at reading people. I tossed a beachball at one girl, not aggressively, not mean, just fluttered it up playfully. She swung wildly and tried to duck and looked affronted. I could see I had to be on eggshells around her.

Of course, there's Stephanie... not The Lovely Steph Leann, mind you, but another Stephanie, that I really need to come up with a nickname for, if she's going to make the blog on a regular basis. I thought of "My Friend Stephanie", only I had a feeling that most people wouldn't remember that as the name of a Christian rock band from about 14 years ago. I'll come up with something. Anyway, she's just a... well, a really cool chick.

The other day I was back at Plush Mountain, the big pile of stuffed characters--which sits on a shelf, mind you, so don't let any child just run and jump it, because they could hurt themselves--and I was straightening a rack... this cute little girl, maybe three or four, comes running up. She stops, suddenly, and stares, open mouthed at what must seem like a fifty foot high mountain of Mickey, Minnie, Nemo and all her favorites. She then yells, "MOMMY!!! I'VE HIT THE JACKPOT!!" It was precious.

I frequently see friends of mine come into The Happiest Place In The Mall. Jeremy Jones, and his wife Chrystal, came in last week. Got to say hello to them, and their two little girls. Not too long after that, here comes Vaughn Barron, and his wife Currie, and their kids. A day or so later, I see Jaime Echols... all friends of mine from college. A few days ago, I get a message from Tiffany Abbott McCauley, saying she's swinging through The Ham, and wanted to stop in and say hello. So she did, she did, and it was awesome.


This is Tiffany and me, after 12 years of not seeing each other. She hasn't really changed much since Troy. By the way, you can see another version of this pic, with a better pic of me, in my Facebook "Me and..." album. Now, if I could just get The Angel to come visit.

Perhaps its just the "honeymoon" period, because I did have that at my last Starbucks store. Leaving there was difficult, but I think it was the right time. I'm working now, part time, at Starbucks in Homewood, the SoHo area (stands for So Homewood). Its a beautiful store, and its a shame its closing too. I was there last Tuesday night, and at that point, had gone about 13 days without making a single drink--the longest such drought since I started in 2003.

I stood there, behind the counter, steamed milk pitcher in one hand, making a latte, and it felt... strange. This wasn't Vestavia, this wasn't 280, this wasn't Cahaba, this wasn't 20th Street... this was a different store, but not only that, this was a different role. I'm not manager, I'm not assistant manager and I'm trying not to be either. I'm just a simple barista making a simple drink. And it was so freeing. I was just able to make drinks and not worry about anything else.

Where was I? Yes, The Happiest Place in the Mall. Did you know that Christopher Robin has been replaced? I'm rather torn by this, because while I was never a CR fan, he's been there a long, long time. My guess is, he grew up and left 100 Acre Wood, because they have this chick named Darby there now. I haven't gotten used to Darby yet. I'm currently watching her and the Pooh crew in "My Friends Tigger & Pooh", and the animation is weird. Its not 2D animation, and its sort of CGI... like, cheap CGI, I think.

I've got a button on my Facebook page with Pooh on it. He's dressed all gangsta, and the caption says, "Tigga, Please". Its hilarious.

Saturday night was my 33rd Birthday Extravaganza, and you can tell you are getting older when the party is over around 930 or 10. Lil' Sister Ashley stayed until about 1030, watching the Olympics with The Lovely Steph Leann and myself, then left. We were just getting up to go to bed, around 1105, when I flipped the channel to The Happiest Channel on Cable, and Camp Rock was on.

I've been meaning to watch Camp Rock for a week or so now, having it on DVR, because we're currently pre-selling the DVD.... only 19.95, and you get the Jonas Brothers folder set that you can't buy in stores, plus a 15% off coupon you can use... but we kept it on. And maybe it was because we were tired, maybe it was because The Lovely Steph Leann took a liking to Joe Jonas, maybe it was because I took a creepy glance at Meaghan Jette Martin... for whatever reason, we stayed up to watch the whole thing.

And its rather fun. There weren't as many songs as I thought, and most of them fit into the movie (rather that just randomly bursting out in song, like we do in real life). Some of the songs i knew already, having heard them about 13,000 times in The Happiest Place in the Mall.

Well, its time to go get ready to make smiles!

August and Everything After

If you've come to the blogsite, you might wonder if that song you are hearing (if you do listen to the music) is something you've just missed. Well, no, its a new song. In fact, I've already decided that at the beginning of each month, there will be a new playlist for your perusal.

The only song that stays is "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon, mostly because its pretty much the lead in to this site... I say that if you are reading this on Clouds In My Coffee. If you are in Facebook, I've got my blog imported, and you can hear the same playlist, but I'd love for you to go over to my real site, where the magic really happens. Anything to make my daily counter go up, and anything to hit that golden 14,000 page loads.

Anyway, here's the new stuff that I chose for the site--and since its on random-play, you probably won't hear them in this order.

After "You're So Vain"...

"The Last of the Mohicans Main Theme" by... well, the song says Trevor Jones & Randy Edelman, but who knows? I'm not really sure this is the official title of it, but this song is just awesome. Its... well, its the main theme from a movie that is not only in The Dave100, but in The Dave20 as far as I'm concerned. How can you not be pumped after hearing this tune? Right now, I want to go run and jump over something, then throw a tomahawk into the head of a rogue Indian named Magua.

"Jimmy Olsen's Blues" by The Spin Doctors. From the album "Pocket Full of Kryptonite", they did a Superman song before Three Doors Down (is that who sang that "if I go crazy will you still call me Superman" tune?) ever did. Thanks to "Attractive Sorority Girl" Kelli for this one.

"Rock Your Body" by Justin Timberlake. Somehow its cool to like JT. It just is. And this is my favorite of all of JT's stuff.

"Clarity" by John Mayer. After really enjoying "No Such Thing" and "Your Body Is a Wonderland", somehow this song just creeped up through everything and became a John Mayer staple on my iPod. The trumpets close to the end are just great.

"Whole Again" by Jennifer Knapp. From the album that changed my life. I'll probably put a Jennifer Knapp song up every month or so, starting here. "I seem to find myself in need to be forgiven, is there still room upon that knee?" I love my grace-giving Jesus.

"Real Love" by Mary J. Blige. I used to sing this song as a senior in High School. However, I'm not black. Rodney Hornsby was (and I'm sure still is) though, so he always laughed hard when I would see him and say "we are lovah's true and tho' we made it thru tha storm...".

"Cable Car (over my head)" by The Fray. One of the most played songs on my iPod, like, top three, and the 6th coolest thing about 2007. Great stuff.

"Miss You Much" by Janet Jackson. I had to make the decision of, do I replace them all, or do I leave a few up? Originally, I was going to replace five per month, but I always remember the phrase "leave 'em wanting more", meaning it would be better to take off a song then to leave it up for months, making my readers tired of it. I mean, as great as "100 Years" by Five For Fighting might be, you can only hear it so many times.

Another song that gave me pause was last months Janet selection, "Love Will Never Do (without you)". I almost left it up, until I made the uniform decision that it all comes down and changes, save for Carly.


The video for Miss You Much is completely 90s. Hair. Outfits. Even the dancing is dated... cool as grits, but still dated. I miss the days when the Jackson family was semi-normal.

Anyway, I will probably have some sort of "waiting period" for a song to re-appear, maybe two months, maybe six months, whatever. But for August, I wanted to continue the Rhythm Nation 1814 groove, so you get this fantastic tune.

"Train Wreck" by Sarah McLachlan. Ran into the same problem as Janet with Sarah. Wanted to leave my favorite song, "Possession" up, but it too came down. Here's a great one, though, from her last CD, "Afterglow".

"Moratorium" by Alanis Morissette. Wow this song is great. And wow, her new album is great too. I've missed the Jagged Little Pill Alanis.

"Waterloo" by ABBA. I had a hard time with ABBA, only because there were several songs I considered... "SOS", "Mamma Mia", "Dancing Queen"... ulitimately, I went with one that isn't on the "Mamma Mia!" soundtrack. I dare you to not smile during this song--its just too fun.

"Hard Luck Woman" by Garth Brooks. Its difficult to pick out Garth in this song, because it just doesn't sound much like him. This is his cover of the KISS song, for the KISS tribute album of the 90s, "KISS My A**". Siobhan Stewart and I were both fond of this song, or at least we talked about it on that one date we had in August of 1994.

"You and I Both" by Jason Mraz. I like the guy. "Geek in the Pink" was an option, but I have heard that song many, many times, with it being on a popular playlist on my iPod. So I chose this one. Enjoy.

"Don't You (forget about me)" by Simple Minds. In honor of my 86th favorite movie ever, and a dedication to the founder of The Dixon Brock Theory, I thought it fiting. Go ahead. Sing it loud. Hey Hey Hey Hey! Ooh ooh, whoaaaa!

So, that's my choices for August. What do you think? And, do you have any requests? What music do you want to hear while surfing Clouds In My Coffee?

(KT, I have Eddie coming in September).

PS... I posted this, then went to check the posting as I always do to make sure it all loaded correctly. And as the page came up, the beats of "Rock Your Body" came out, and Justin started with, "...don't be so quick to... walk away (dance with me)". Its going to be awesome for someone to come to my page and have that be the first thing that they hear. Well, actually, I find it awesome that anyone comes to my page, period.

The Dave100... #89. Jerry Maguire

Jerry Maguire, 1996, Rated R. Stars a pre-Scientology-crazy Tom Cruise, Renee Zellweger in her breakout role, Cuba Gooding Jr before he started mailing in all his roles, Mrs. John Travolta, and the underappreciated Bonnie Hunt.

Plot... Jerry Maguire works for a sports agency, gets a conscience, and decides to write a memo addressing the dishonesty in the business. Though lauded, he's fired, with the firing carried out by former protege-turned-rival Bob Sugar. Racing back to the office, Jerry has decided to branch out on his own, and gets stuck on a lengthy conversation with Rod Tidwell, lengthy enough that Bob Sugar is able to grab all of Jerry's clients while Jerry is left only with Rod.

As he leaves, he asks who is daring enough to come with him, and only Dorothy Boyd stands up. While Jerry and Rod have a rocky relationship, as Rod proves hard to please, he and Dorothy eventually get close enough to fall for each other, though Jerry is more enamored with Dorothy's son, Ray.


"I LOOOOOVE BLACK PEOPLE!!!! YOUR MY MOFO!!!!"

Anyway, along the way you hear stuff like "Show me the money!", "I love black people!", "Quan" and of course, the final scene, which brings us, "You had me at hello". And the award winning actor Jonathan Lipnicki, who plays Ray, says, "Bees and dogs smell fear."

Why Its In the Dave100... I mean, I don't know. Should it be? Is it a sports movie? It can be. Is its a chick flick? It qualifies. I just genuinely love this movie. The performances are great all around, even Jerry O'Connell turns up pretty good as Brian "Cush" Cushman, a hot draft prospect that Jerry Maguire is trying to woo. Its just such a fun film, even though its been ruined by the repeated overkill of the now-famous catch phrases. Oh, and beware of "that scene" between Tom Cruise and Kelly Preston. You know it.

Tom Cruise had a string of hits back in the day, back when he made sense, wasn't hopping off couches and wasn't leaving the incomparable Nicole Kidman for the likes of butt-ugly Penelope Cruz. And Renee in this flick is just so darn cute. Seriously. It was also a good time for Cuba Gooding Jr (who won an Oscar for this film, and had a hilarious acceptance speech), before he started make crap, more crap, and even more crap (this link takes you to a film that landed on the Bottom 100 movies of all time on IMDB). And of course, I love Bonnie Hunt.

Oh, and Bruce Springsteen's song, "Secret Garden", is immaculate.


"Secret Garden" by Bruce Springsteen, intersparsed with some Jerry Maguire. See the video here too. This song was my Amy Wible song for a long time... until, of course, The Lovely Steph Leann came around.

Random Trivia... saw this movie on Christmas Day in 1996 with Heather Howell. Also, did you know that Tom Hanks was offered the lead role, and turned it down? John Travolta was also pursued, but really, this is one of those type flicks that was cast perfectly.

Dave Tells You How To Do Disney

About a week ago, Jill Johnson called me, leaving me a voice mail to the effect of, "Hey, I know you and The Lovely Steph Leann are big Disney fans! My sister and her family are going for the first time, and I wanted some Disney tips from you... you know, where to eat, the pin trading stuff, what there is to do for kids, etc. Call me."

A week later, I sat down via email to answer, and realized the request of "Give me Disney tips" without knowing specifics--how old are the kids? have they already booked the trip? how many people are going? how long will they be there?--is a broad, vague question. And it required a broad, long answer.

And I liked it so much, I decided to post it... so here's a quick (I say quick, even though its about 65,000 words) overview of random and various things you need to know. You can email this to your friends if they are going to Disney, or just read for yourself, and comment on some tips that maybe I forgot to add!

Walt Disney World truly is the most magical place on Earth. I mean, yes, you can get more coasters at Six Flags or Universal, and maybe Atlanta is closer, but nothing is like Disney World. Its the whole environment, the meticulous attention to detail, the love and warmth of kids and families and adults alike... its a place you can have fun when you are 5, or you are 35 with a 5 year-old, or 33 and 32, like we'll be when we go in September, with no kids.

But if you've never been, or never been properly, there are some things you just have to know... dinner plans? Characters? Character meals? Fast passes? What about where to stay? You ready? Here we go. Take notes.

Invest in the Disney Dining Plan
If you are going more than just a day or two, this will save you a ton of money and hassle. How it works is, you are allotted a certain number of meals per day per person. Now the temptation is to get the plan with three full meals per day, but do not do this. We have found that three full meals is not only expensive, but it wears on you as you run and gun through 4 million miles of parks per day.

What we have done in the past is get the dining plan that allows for one table service (like a sit-down, nicer restaurant) per day, one counter service (like a walk-up, burger, hotdog, etc) kind of place and one snack (which can include a bottle water, or ice cream, or pop corn). We would have maybe a counter service in the morning, go to the parks, have a snack sometime during the day (keeping ourselves hydrated) and then have a great dinner somewhere... or we would have a sit-down breakfast, like a character breakfast, do the lunch snack, and then grab pizza or a burger for dinner. Either way.

Character Dinners
These are just awesome. Pick them carefully, though. I think that everyone should go to the Princess Breakfast in the Cinderella's Castle. Its a tasty breakfast, and all the princesses come out one at a time--Mary Poppins, Belle, Aurora, Snow White, Jasmine, others--and go table by table, taking pictures and such. Granted, sometimes you get princesses that just aren't very good looking, but still, it's just a magical way to start your day. Whats good is that most character meals use the Disney Dining Plan... though sometimes, they require "2 Meals", like this one does. No matter, though... at the end of our week last year, we still had three snacks and two counter services left, because we planned carefully.


I'm in one of the shops on Main Street, when I get this call from The Lovely Steph Leann, frantically telling me to come outside to Town Hall. Hurry! Hurry! When I ask her why, she almost yells into the phone, "Because Jiminy Cricket is out here, and I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM!!!"

Another one we loved was the Supercalifragilistic Breakfast, held at the 1900 Park Fare Restaurant in the Grand Floridian Hotel. Mary Poppins, Alice, The Mad Hatter, Tigger and Pooh came around at that one. A great dinner idea is the Cinderella Storybook Dinner, also held in The Grand Floridian Hotel, at 1900 Park Fare Restaurant, featuring the cast of Cinderella, an incredible buffet and some great strawberry soup. Yes, strawberry soup. Its incredible.


This would be the chilled strawberry soup at 1900 Park Fare that The Lovely Steph Leann raves about. Notice the other great looking junk on her plate around it.

Our favorite restaurant is Le Cellier in EPCOT, located in Canada. Its can be a little pricey, but its also accepted with the Disney Dining Plan. Be proactive though. These things fill up quickly. As a matter of fact, some of them start booking reservations as much as 180 days out--six months. The Lovely Steph Leann and I are going at the end of September, and the Princess breakfast, Le Cellier and the Storybook Dinner are all booked up, every day of our trip.

Character Sightings
Much of it is just waiting, and watching. Now, in EPCOT, they've got the Character Spot where you'll find Mickey, Minnie, Pluto and Donald usually, and sometimes Chip & Dale, and in Toontown, in the Magic Kingdom, they've also got a Character Barn. Remember, many times this is standing in line, so be wary of the children--we were in line at EPCOT for almost an hour for Mickey, because he's the Big Cheese, but we didn't mind it. Three year olds might mind it alot.


We randomly found Piglet in EPCOT's England. Pooh and Tigger had just left, but The Lovely Steph Leann loves her some Piglet, so this was a great moment.

You can always ask your local cast member where the characters will be, because at different times of the day, a certain group of characters may be scheduled to be in different areas. You'll likely find characters with their rides, like we found Aladdin and Jasmine at the Magic Carpet ride, we found Pooh and Piglet in the England area of EPCOT, we found Buzz Lightyear by the Tomorrowland rides... Hollywood Studios also has a special place for Lightnin McQueen, Mater, Sully & Mike, Woody & Buzz and a few others.

Its always great when the characters really, really give you alot. We had a great time with Genie, and The Mad Hatter was awesome. Peter Pan was as fruity as a four dollar bill, but still, he was perfect into character.

With the Cars, if you know they are coming, get in line. Even if you have to wait an hour, get in line. Make sure you know where the line starts, and make sure you are following cast member orders. We missed the Cars in the morning (at Hollywood Studios) but were told they'd be reappearing at 3 that afternoon. At 2pm, we got in line, where we were fifth or sixth. By 230, the line was already closed, and people were mad--but they didn't get there in time. And when Lightnin McQueen and Mater came 'round the corner, we were giddy. It was worth the wait.

Autographs are big for the kids, and even some adults. Almost all characters will do either autographs or at least ink stamps onto a page. Some characters, like King Louie, who just has dangling arms (and no control in the costume) couldn't do it, but most can.

Pin Trading
Ah, the pins. First and foremost, understand, this can be a very, very expensive hobby. Depending on when you are going, you might want to look on eBay for a $50 lot of 25 or 30 pins to trade. Here's how it works... cast members have either blue or green lanyards around their neck, or they might have a blue or green cloth patch on their belt. If you have a pin you'd like to trade, simply walk up to the cast member, ask to look at their pins, and you can trade pin for pin.
Etiquette dictates that you pull yours off, put the rubber back back on, hand it to the CM, and they'll reciprocate. They cannot accept a pin, however, if they already have it on their lanyard (this is important, and I'll come back to this).

The blue lanyards can trade with anyone, adult or child, The green are only supposed to be for kids, but some will take a "all of us are kids at heart" approach, and trade with adults. Some, however, are stickler for the rules. And guests can trade with other guests--I traded several times with kids that came up to look at my pins. Usually, it was a pin I didn't care about much, and would trade just to make the kid feel happy--I always said, "Now, make sure its okay with mom and dad first."


This is right outside of The Teacups. A little girl had approached me about pins, and I think I traded her one, but I don't remember. Its important to be good to the kids, yet make sure they don't take you for a ride and manipulate you for your good pins.

They do sell pin "sets" in the Disney stores there. Usually, a 4-pin set will run around $20, and an 8-pin set can run from 30 to 40. These are good ways to start, because you guy multiple pins at a time and trade them off one by one... however, many, many people do this, so if you've got a Halloween Pooh out of the set, and you want to trade it, you might find that same Halloween Pooh on a ton of cast member lanyards, and you wont be able to trade it.

Many pins have "hidden mickeys" in them, which are little tiny mickey ears on the pins somewhere, and these are usually pins that you cannot buy, but are given to the cast members just for trading. Its always good to pick a theme, like "Monorail Pins" or "Beauty & the Beast Pins" or what The Lovely Steph Leann collected, "Disney Topiary Pins", and I got all the "Disney Dollar Pins". Or, you can just find characters you like and go for them.


A gander at our pin board. We have more than this now, as we've added several since I went to work for The Happiest Place in the Mall.

Accommodations
Are you staying on the resort? I hope so. If so, then take the bus and trams everywhere. Its so much easier. Yes, it might take a little more time, but its so much easier than parking and walking and blah blah blah. Also, if you stay on the resort, you are eligible for Magic Hours. Sometimes the parks open earlier, or stay open later only for those who are staying in one of the resorts.

Also, the All Star Value Resorts--All Star Sports, Movies, Pop Century & Music--work just fine for us. Yes, other, more expensive hotels are nicer, but we came to Orlando to spend time in the parks--the rooms are for sleeping and showering. So give me a $80 per night room at the All Star Movies, and keep your $250 per night Polynesian... it would be nice, one day, but today we're on a budget.


This is the All Star Movies Resort, where we stayed. Look in the distance, the building with the stars on it is the main court. Sometimes you stay farther back than what where we were standing.

When you book, though, you can ask for "Preferred Rooms", which are about 10 bucks more per night, but it puts you right up close to the food court. Otherwise, you might have to walk the length of a building or two to get to the food court, which leads to the bus stop.

Fast Passes
This is essential, so listen up. There are certain rides in the parks that basically sell out. In EPCOT, its Test Track and Soarin. In Magic Kingdom, its Space/Splash/Thunder Mountain, and for some ungodly reason, Peter Pan's Flight. In Hollywood Studios, its Tower of Terror and Rock n Roller Coaster. In Animal Kingdom, its Everest. Fast Passes are the answer to your prayers. Basically, its a pass that lets you come back at a later time. The trick is, you run into the park, get the fast pass for one, then go straight to the other.

At EPCOT this is crucial. Test Track is one of the most popular rides in all of Disney, so we raced to get Fast Passes for Soarin (another brilliant ride that YOU CANNOT MISS), then went to Test Track. The park opened at 9, we raced in, and by the time we were able to get fast passes for Soarin, the passes were for 1140am. They increase by 10 minute increments. We raced over to Test Track, got in line, and waited about 40 minutes. By the time we were out, Soarin fast passes were beyond 8pm that night, and within an hour, Test Track fast passes were gone for the whole day. And this is by 1030am.

Also, if it says "Return between 310 and 410p" then you cant go on until 310... but if you come after 410, its okay, they'll let you in. We learned this the hard way, as we ran across The World Showcase in EPCOT to the front of the park to Soarin in 20 minutes... The Lovely Steph Leann's feet hurt so bad.

Fast Passes can only be gotten one at a time--you get them by inserting your "Key to the World", or your park ticket card. Sometimes you can get passes for two rides, but many times that doesn't happen, so don't count on it. I've never gotten three rides on fast pass before the first ride time came up.

Rides
Soarin is a newer ride at EPCOT and is wonderful--make sure you do all you can to get on the front row. Toy Story Mania is brand spankin' new as well, and will be mobbed by people, so get the fast pass for that one too. Shows like Muppets in 3-D (Hollywood Studios), Its Great to Be a Bug (Animal Kingdom), Monsters Inc Laugh Floor (Magic Kingdom), The Energy Show (EPCOT) and PhilarMagic (Magic Kingdom) are audience type shows, and while it might take a few minutes to get in, they fit hundreds of people in at a time.

Peter Pan's Flight fills up like crazy, for some reason, so if the kids want that one, get it early, after Space Mountain. Exciting rides like Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, Rock n Roller Coaster, Tower of Terror--they fill up fast.

Closing Thoughts
You walk into The Magic Kingdom with a handful of kids and a "oh, we'll just go wherever" attitude, and your day is shot already. Now, this doesn't mean you should have a schedule on paper, never vary from it, and get angry when people do, but you do need to plan your "attack" when it comes to fast passes and your route. Do not expect to cover Magic Kingdom as a whole in one day, especially with a bunch of kids. If you've only got two or tree days, you need to decide what area of the park you will leave off, or what rides you will leave off BEFORE you go in the gate.

Look at the maps, have a decent route, and remember what times parades start. If you love parades, find a good spot early (the maps will tell you the routes). If you could care less about parades, its a great time to go ride some rides, because many people are watching the parade.

One More Note
We were standing in line to meet one of the characters, and we got into a conversation with this mother who had just brought their 3 year old to Disney for the first time. She got a once-in-a-lifetime snapshot of her daughter's expression the first time she saw the castle, which I'm sure was priceless and precious. Only problem was, she didn't have it, nor the camera. Seems she had lost the camera on Peter Pan's Flight, and three days worth of irreplaceable moments were gone.
Lesson is, if you bring a laptop or a storage device, unload your pics every day. She was so upset, she was even saying, "It's a $600 camera, but I don't care. I would take them turning in the memory card, and keeping the camera."

Now you know. And knowing is half the magic.

The Clouds are Singing

In case you've noticed, or haven't, there are a few new things added to the Clouds in My Coffee Blog... my ultimate goal is to make my site your one-stop shop for news links, weather links, sports links and other fun stuff to read, but that's farther down the road... we'll get there.

Added a new blog column to My Recommended Blogs list. Heather "The Angel" Hanson (now Conkle... and The Lovely Steph Leann thought she had it bad going from Campbell to Dollar...) writes a blog--I managed to find Heather via Facebook. In fact, Heather plays a role in the most embarrassing and at the same time most hilarious moment of my Troy life involving boxer shorts, but that's for another day. Her blog is entitled "Tell Me the Old, Old Story", and you can find it here... or on the links on the side. Show HH some love.

I've added a couple of widgets to the side--a "widget" is a little block of links an info--that you might find fun... one is Birmingham's weather, another in the sports section is the ESPN widget, for sports. Near the bottom, under my facebook widget, is The Sports Guy, who is one of my favorite columnists. Not too far under that is an iTunes widget, followed by a Pop Candy link to USA Today's Pop Culture columnist, Whitney Matheson.

And thanks to Heather "The Angel" Hanson, there's now music playing on the Clouds In My Coffee Blog.

You may be enjoying it, or you might have immediately gone to find it and shut if off. Right now I've got it autostarting, and randomly playing the list... if you are like me, when you visit a blog page, you are usually not there long enough to get through more than one or two songs, much less an entire playlist. With that in mind, I wanted to make sure the songs on the bottom got some love too, not just the ones near the top.

The fun part of doing any kind of playlist like this is... what do I put on here? You can put up to 100 songs on the list, via the site I used--Playlist.com. But really, I don't know that I want a playlist of 100 songs on any site, and definately not mine.

So I chose music that I really enjoyed, music that perhaps wouldn't rank in my top ten, but nonetheless that I loved, that I knew, and styles that I felt would represent who I am. Much of it is from the 90s, during music was at its peak, but there is some earlier and some later stuff.

This might be the closest I've done to an iTunes Celebrity Playlist... Here's what I chose, let me know what you think...

"Little Green Bag" by The George Baker Selection. Featured prominently in "Reservoir Dogs" during the brilliant opening sequence, its fun, its catchy, and its a great way to kick off the Clouds In My Coffee music list.

"You're So Vain" by Carly Simon. How could a blog entitled "Clouds In My Coffee" not feature the song that the words came from. This song is truly amazing, a song of anger, yet sadness. And Carly has never been better.

"Possession" by Sarah McLachlan. My. Favorite. Song. Ever.

"100 Years" by Five for Fighting. The more I hear this song, the more I like it. The opening is just hypnotic, and the lyrics just make you think about your life. Maybe thats a good thing, maybe not, but it only takes 100 years to live.

"Running from an Angel" by Hootie & the Blowfish. Make fun of it if you want, but if you were in high school or college from 1993 to 1996, Hootie was one of the biggest bands around. This is my favorite song off of one of my favorite albums ever, "Cracked Rear View"

"Time After Time" by Nichole Nordeman. The Cyndi Lauper version is really good. There's another out there now with both Lauper and Sarah McLachlan... but this one, this version off of Nichole's live concert CD is a masterpiece. Seriously, I almost cried when I heard it for the first time.

"I'd Die Without You" by PM Dawn. This was my favorite song ever, until earlier this year, when "Possession" finally took it over and ended its 15 year reign at the top. So it resides at a very close #2.

"Callin' Baton Rouge" by Garth Brooks. Garth is just awesome, and this is my favorite country song ever. This is perfect to be sung loudly while traveling 78 on I-65 heading to Montgomery. Or wherever.

"Full Moon" by Brandy. Being born a poor black child, I'm a fan of R&B, and it doesn't get any more R&B'ier than this joint from Brandy. Dis juke is my jam, boo.

"The Remedy" by Jason Mraz. As much fun as this is to sing, its more fun when you can nail all the lyrics. That slammin' part in the second verse? Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack they were counting down the ways to stab the brother in the be right back after this, the unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh death breath is sure to outlast this catastrophe, dance with me, because if you've got the poison, I've got the remedy

"Love Will Never Do Without You" by Janet Jackson. Its hard not preceeding this song with "Miss You Much" because on Janet's "Rhythm Nation 1814", another one of my favorite albums, they go right together. But, in an effort to not feature two songs by the same artist, I picked this one. Mostly because... well, it makes me happy. We all have songs that just make us happy, for no reason other than it does. This is one of those.

"Stay" by Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories. This is the most. fun. song. to. sing. ever. Seriously, this is the song that, when you walk into a room and start it, someone in that room will join you, if not multiple someones. "You say... I only hear what I want to, I don't listen hard, I don't pay attention to the distance that you're running to anyone, anywhere, I don't really care, I'm only hearing negative no no no baaaaaadddd...." NYCJenny is rolling with this song right now.

"Come and Talk To Me" by Jodeci. If I were a pimp, this might be a theme song for one of my ho's. Just sayin'.

"In the Light" by dcTalk. This is one of five songs that define my life as a Christ-Follower. Powerful and convicting, I dare you to find harmony as good as this.

"My Favorite Mistake" by Sheryl Crow. Off another one of my favorite all time albums, "The Globe Sessions". We all have our favorite mistakes, don't we?

So there it is. How'd I do?

Taking the Mouse, Leaving the Bean Place

So... I'm a full time member of the Walt Disney World Company. The House of Mouse. By last Saturday night, maybe before Mikey's 30th birthday extravanganza, maybe after, I'm not sure, but sometime in there, I decided that I wanted to be a part of The Disney Store and the Disney Company. I'm sure its in no small part due to the little plastic card I get that allows me and The Lovely Steph Leann (and two of our closest friends) access to the World anytime. Alissa and Joey, you are on our list for next spring, after the wedding.

By Sunday, I was at peace with it. There's some turnover issues at The Disney Store, and I get the sense there's a morale or unstability issue. There was at Cahaba Heights when I went there in March of 2007... let's just say leadership there was... off. And if you are the leadership I speak of at that time, and you reading this, going nuts on me for cleaning the desk is not the way to get a favorable response on The Clouds in My Coffee Blog, read by dozens of people across this great land of ours.

Anyway, I like to think that in six months, I had helped put that team together--that team that included Peter, Chris, Katie, Greer, Tracy, Kelly, Buttahs and more--and that team rocked. I have a knack for hiring, somehow.

The fact that I'm going to get to help do the same thing at The Happiest Place in the Mall... well, thats a challenge I look forward to facing. Then a series of events happened this week, one after the other, that made me go, "Well, hey now... God might just have an idea what up it is after all..."

Monday... called The Happiest Place in the Mall, and confirmed that yes, I would be accepting the position. I now planned to be the assistant manager for the store. I had also referred My Friend Stephanie, a different Stephanie from The Lovely Steph Leann, mind you, to go apply for a job there. She applied at Target, and apparently, they have no idea whats going on... they hired her, and yet never called her, never scheduled her and told her nothing.

Tuesday... I had the evening off, and was set to put together some furniture bought at IKEA, with the help of Croyle. I was at Hallmark, shopping for a birthday card for Britlicious, the wife of said Croyle, when I get a call from another Starbucks manager. "Did you hear about the conference call?" Um... no. What conference call? "The one starting at 530..." We had one today at 3p, there is another one? "Yeah, this is being held by Special K, about store closings." (Now, she didn't say Special K, but thats what I like to call him. He's the regional director for Alabama, Mississippi and some of Georgia's Starbucks. Brilliant guy) Well, what time is it now? "Um... 512." Well, crap.

So I rush home to The Cabana, grab my phone, dial in, and hear the announcement that is currently all over the news and internet. Starbucks had already announced it would close 100 licensed stores--those are the stores that "Proudly Brew Starbucks Coffee" in Targets, Barnes & Nobles, airports, hospitals, etc--and just this instant, they were announcing the closings of 500 more stores--600 in all. Averaging 20 partners per store, there would be 12,000 positions eliminated, 12,000 partners that would either be transferred, displaced or leave the company.

Wednesday... I start answering questions to our team about the closings. "Are we on the list?" is the first question I get from everyone. The first 50 stores in the country would be closing by the end of July, but I hadn't gotten a call from our district manager to tell me our store would be one of them, so at least for now, we're safe. As a manager, I've got to do damage control, however, and make our partners and customers feel at ease. I leaned on Matt, one of our stars at the store, who I'd met with the previous night.

Thursday... My boss comes in at 9 to meet with me. Drops the news, news that didn't surprise me in the least, yet saddened me to a deep end. Our store, located at University and 20th Street, would be closing. Not now, not at the end of July, but sometime in the next 9 months. And with it, about 15 partners would be transferred to other stores, some of which will hopefully go on to be assistant managers, some of which will leave altogether. The sad part comes in when you know that many of these people have been together for a year or two, and its like a family split up. Like a foster home shutting down, sending its kids all over the place.

Bottom line is, Starbucks Coffee & Tea is fine, and will be fine. In 1999, Just For Feet was atop the world. They had just had one of the most buzzed about Super Bowl commercials in memory, and were opening franchises everywhere. Within 2 years, they collapsed amidst fraud and overexpansion. Krispy Kreme was also a media darling for a few years, but rapid expansion led to their stock price plummeting, and many franchises in the western states filed bankruptcy.

The closing of our store, plus three more stores in the city is a wise business decision. Starbucks voluntarily does it now, so they aren't forced to do it later. If I was at Cahaba Heights still, or Hwy 280, the University and 20th Store would be just another store I barely know, and I would just shrug, shake my head and say, "Too bad. But its the right choice." However comma I'm the manager of this particular Starbucks, and whether they like it or not, these are my partners, so instead I say, "This sucks. This really, really sucks. But its the right choice."

Just so you know, when you read the headlines that say, "Local Shops Run Big Coffee Giant Out", don't believe it, because crap isn't reliable. Lucy's Coffee and Tea, right around the corner from us, didn't run us out of business. O'Henry's, located in Homewood, didn't run the Soho store out of Soho. It was Starbucks stepping back, viewing their options and realizing that we have two stores that aren't quite pulling their weight, and don't seem as if they will be able to in the near future, regardless of team, manager, product or whatever. Be it a victim of circumstance, location or the terrible economy that we actually don't have, but the liberal media insists we do, there are some locations that just don't make sense. And Starbucks sees this.

Friday... I've submitted my resignation at Starbucks, stepping down as manager. I'll be taking on part time work as just a barista for a while at another Starbucks. No schedules, no deployment, no target reports, nothing to do but make lattes and talk to people, what I love to do the most.

I went by The Happiest Place in the Mall. The Lovely Steph Leann has already informed me that My Friend Stephanie has already been hired by the store, which I'm excited about. In the same manner it was great to have Lil Sister Ashley, a close BFF, working with me at University and 20th, it will be great to have a familiar, friendly face at The Happiest Place in the Mall.

Anyway, I gave my starting date as July 28th, even though I'll be picking up some shifts all along here and there, just to get acquainted with the store. I'm nervous about the new start, naturally, because who knows how they'll receive me? Even The Lovely Steph Leann admits sometimes that upon first impression, I can come off as kind of a flake. But thats okay. I'm there to see Mickey, help make Magical Moments and basically be happy... which I can do fairly well.

I came up with a list, my favorite eleven people to work with at Starbucks, spanning three stores--Vestavia, Hwy 280 and Cahaba Heights... I left off University and 20th just because if Jess or Carla or whoever reads this blog, how do I look at one and tell them they didn't make it? My list, in no particular order... Susie Franks/Weetman (Vestavia), Luna (Vestavia), Hannah (Vestavia), Megan (Vestavia) Joey Towey (Vestavia), Nall Wall (280), Rocky (280) Tiffany Alexander (Cahaba), Kelly (280 & Cahaba), Amanda (280 & Cahaba) and Schottsy (Cahaba). I'm sure another name will come up later that I'll wish I had added... Kat, maybe, or Karen, or Theresa, who knows.

Well, there's your answer. I made the decision to step away. Four days later, I find out my store will close. I would have been fine as a manager, I would have just been moved... but to who knows where, and who knows how long I might have had to share a store. Remember my blog, back on June 12th? The Virtues of Summer's weekly challenge was to take each of the fruits of the spirit, and spend a week practicing them. Love was the first week. I had to find my Joy in Him during all the chaos of job decisions. This week? Peace. Peace with my decision, peace with what's happening.

Next week? Patience. Crap.

Between a Mouse and a Bean Place

Very rarely are any of us blessed to be in a position that, either way we choose, we win. Or we lose. Either I stay and win, or go and win... or I stay and lose the opportunity, or go and leave an opportunity. Is it a blessing or a curse?

So..... I got offered a job by The Disney Store to be their assistant manager. Long story, which I'll condense here, but bottom line is, its been a week of ups and downs, highs and lows, stress and wonder.

They made the offer, its about 9% more than what I make now at Starbucks as a manager, and at first, I just didn't know. I counseled with some good friends of mine, including some people who worked at Starbucks, getting Godly advice and wisdom.

Being debt free, we're in a position where money isn't the main factor... lets be honest, its always a factor, but its not the main factor, for the first time in my life, and thats refreshing. But here's what I consider the main factor... where am I going to go? At Starbucks, I'll be a manager for a while and then... well, nothing. Unless I either a) move our family to Atlanta on hopes that I can get a corporate job or b) wait for corporate to come here. Or, I could be a district manager, but I didn't list that as "c" because that's not a possibility--I am not going to be a DM, at least, not for Starbucks.

What about The Disney Store? Well, the obvious step is, if I can prove my mettle, I would move up to manager, obviously. After that, there is the step of Disney DM... which I'm not sure I want... or don't want. I dunno. And if I have to relocate, I'm going to Orlando a thousand times or more before I go to the Ay Tee Ell.

However, I've been at Starbucks five years. I started at the barista level, 22 hours per week, worked my way up and now am a full time, salaried manager. Go to Disney, start all over. The benefits are comparable, the 401K is better with Starbucks than Disney, though not significantly enough to sway me one way or the other.

I had pretty much decided that The Disney Store was right for me, and then I had... well, kind of a weird experience there on Friday, something that made me step back and go "hmmm.... is this what I want?" Kinda freaked me out a little, and my buddy Jason said, "you know when you pray about missions, you tell God that you are going to plan to go until He tells you not to? Maybe this is God telling you not to go with this."

Then on Saturday, it all was fixed and cleared, at least mostly. My role there was more explained, offering a challenge to which I am kinda excited about.

Bottom line is, I don't have a passion for coffee. I don't drink it. Yes, I like a good iced coffee con leche, but I have never been a straight coffee drinker. My passion is for people. My passion is to help people succeed, to encourage people, to help people be better than who they are. And I do have quite a fondness for The House of Mouse.

But what happens if it doesn't work out, you say? What happens if this is a job that turns out to be a disaster? This is also a consideration. I have a great job, and keep in mind, I went to The Disney Store to look for part time work to save money for a Disney vacation in February, to take The Lovely Steph Leann as a part of a 5th year anniversary celebration. The manager from The Disney Store calls me, asks me to meet with their DM, which it works out that I can...

You know, when our bigwigs come in, typically they spend about 10 or 20 minutes in our store. Our district manager is actually around a lot more, but I'm comparing the Disney DM to someone above the Starbucks DM, perhaps like a regional director. I'm thinking I'll walk in, get a handshake, ask a few questions, answer a few questions, and then have a job interview for the Cast Member position.

What happened? Met with the guy for almost 2 hours. And because I wasn't looking for a new job, I answered all of his questions honestly, with not a hint of the "say what they want to hear because I want this job" that typically is in an interview. And towards the end, he told me he wanted me to consider management there, gave me the weekend to think about it. The following Monday, they made the offer.

Plus, there's a free silver pass that gets me and three other people into the parks anytime, plus we get up to 50% off on resorts and cruise lines, and everything in the store and parks (including food) is 35% off. Lil Sister Ashley says thats perfect because, "You and Steph are so Disney retarded."

Funny story... last night, we're having dinner with Mikey and his family and a bunch of other people for Mikey's 30th birthday, and someone comes over and asks me a Disney question, which I answer easily. As they walk away, The Lovely Steph Leann looks at me with incredulity, with an offended look on her face that says, "Uh... I know that... I know Disney... I know more than my husband does!"

Yes, the discounts will be nice. But is it worth it? Can I walk away from FIVE years of building relationships and working my way up in Starbucks? I left a fabulous job at Cox Radio, and all its perks, to take a job at NBC 13, with all of its promises of growth and opportunity for more money, which at the time was the main reason. It was a disaster, with NBC 13 being one of the worst jobs I've ever had. The money wasn't worth it.

Plus, at Starbucks on University and 20th, I've got a great team... Matt, Jessica, Megan, Katie--some of the best people I've ever worked with. Seriously, they know their job, they know their responsibilities and they know what they are doing, which is refreshing. I'd also be giving up great customers like Stacy the nurse, who in some strange way is kinda hot, plus Kevin & Sandy, plus Carla, Matt's boo and baby mama, who is just fabulous and... I could go on and on. This is also the only time I get to see Lil Sister Ashley on a regular basis, and thats a big plus, cause I'll be honest, I love that chick. She's awesome.

So here's where I stand. I was about ready to take The Disney Store offer, then some stuff happened that made me think I wasn't, then some stuff happened that made me think I was and... after almost 10 days of going back and forth, seeking God's will, looking for guidance from Him and from other people, and really stressing out about it, and being completely overwhelmed and...

...by the way, The Lovely Steph Leann is the most wonderful chick ever. She wasn't giving me any indication of her desires for me to go to Disney or her desires for me to stay at Starbucks--she would only tell me she wants me to be happy. Sometimes that's maddening, but its moments, hours, days, weeks like this that make you grab your spouse, hold them tightly and thank God that you have someone you are so close to and that would support you in any and everything. I love My Lil Sister Ashley, and I love my friends KT & Jason and others, but The Lovely Steph Leann is the greatest.

...anyway, after all that, I've decided. I want to do what glorifies Him the most, which is really what we're all here for... and I know what that is. I feel it. I sense it. I'm at peace with it.

Actually, its Sunday night, and I've known my answer since yesterday (Saturday) evening.

If you want to know what happened, you can read the follow up post...

Sometimes

Sometimes, things are great.

Sometimes things are not.

And sometimes, life happens.

Its kinda funny, dontcha think?

I love my life. And my Father.

The George Michael Blog

Did you know that George Michael grew facial hair as a teen just to cover up his acne? Its right there on the screen, in a little white bubble that popped up. Who doesn't love them some Pop Up Video on Vh1 Classic?

Funny story about George Michael, and The Lovely Steph Leann... yes, I might have already told this story (I did a search for it in The Clouds in My Coffee Blog, but saw nothing)... one day, we're driving down the road, down I459 to be exact.

This song comes on, and its not of The Lovely Steph Leann's favorites, though keep in mind, this is 2001, and she's not The Lovely Steph Leann Dollar, she's The Lovely Steph Leann Campbell, and not only are we not married, we aren't even dating.

"Father Figure" is a very sensual song, though granted, it loses some of its flavor and value when you remember that George Michael is a Rainbow Coalition member. The same effect takes place when you remember that the kickin', angry song "You Oughta Know" is rumored to be written about Uncle Joey, or that anything Elton John was not written about a chick... well, except for "Candle in the Wind." We think.

Anyway, the song comes on, I'm singing it all breathy and stupid, and the second verse kicks in... "that's all you wanted, someone special, someone sacred, in your life..."

So I reach over and grab The Lovely Steph Leann Campbell's hand, the one not on the steering wheel, and begin to rub it on my face. Singing very breathy, I go into the next line, "...just for one moment, to be warm and... naked... at your side..." She yanks her hand back, very, very quickly, and gives me a look that says "If I knew I wouldn't feel kinda bad later, I'd pull this car over and kick your candy a** out right here, freak." And she still married me. Good times, good times.

Personally, I think that George Michael is a trendsetter... the phrase you know and often here, "Who's Your Daddy?" isn't anything new... I give you the line, "...I will be your father, I will be your preacher, I'll be your daddy, I will be the one who loves you, 'til the end of... time."


First, let's clear up a rumor. "The Jitterbug" is actually called "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go". The name of the band was "Wham!", then when George Michael realized he was better than Andrew Ridgeley, it became "Wham! featuring George Michael". Get it right.

Sidebar, with Andrew Ridgeley, according to Wiki, he is not only married to Keren Woodward of Bananarama, he fights for the rights of people to have clean water, partners in a business that makes surf equipment, and is reportedly the inspiration for the character of Alex Fletcher, played by Hugh Grant in "Music & Lyrics". And he's never been busted in a restroom for anything. Worth mentioning.

Since we're on the subject, my favorite George Michael songs: "Too Funky", "One More Try", "Freedom '90", "Father Figure", "Praying for Time"... honestly, "Freedom '90" is probably my favorite, but because, like, 3 seconds ago I read this line on Wikipedia:

The song also alludes heavily to the struggles of being a closeted gay man, and acted as a catalyst to his effort to break free from his publishing contract with Sony Music.

...I felt as if I had to drop it a few notches.

Be honest, before this blog, could you name five George Michael songs? Didn't think so. I mean, unless you're Scotty Latta, why would you want to?

No kidding, if you had told me to list 1,000 things I might blog about when I sat down, The Songs of George Michael would not have been on this list.

The Virtues of Summer Pt 1: Week of Love

I was sitting in church the other day, at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship), and we're in a series in James, one of my least favorite books. Oh, its not that I don't like the Word, but James is a rough book... its very black and white, with very little grey. This is sin. This isn't. Do this, you're sinning. Don't do this, you aren't.

By the way, on a sidebar, I'm totally watching The Rock's new DVD collection, "The Most Electrifying Man In Sports Entertainment". Three DVDs, 25+ matches, over 2 dozen interviews... its magnificent. I'm currently watching The Rock vs Mankind, from The St. Valentine's Day Massacre pay-per-view from February 14th, 1999. He just landed The People's Elbow on Mankind. Brilliant. Where was I?

Yes, we're studying James, but a verse in the sermon came from Galatians, and on the bottom of my Bible, page 2125, there is a list that says "VIRTUES". Under it, it says love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. All featured in Galatians 5:22-23.

So I got to thinking...





...sorry, The Rock just laid the Rock Bottom on Mankind, who got up and threw a DDT on The Rock on a steel chair.

I was thinking... what if I spent a summer on these virtues? What if I took one per week? Maybe starting this weekend, until the following weekend, I practice love. But, how do I even do that?

I mean, what does it mean to practice love? Of course, I can love on The Lovely Steph Leann (no, not like that, dirty mind. Okay, not just like that) by serving her, right? What about my friends? How can I love on Lil Sister Ashley, or KT, or Paulie Walnuts or Croyle? Or Britlicious? Or what about those at the store? How do I... well, love on my baristas or even my customers?

I guess in the same book I found the virtues is the same book I'll find the answer to this one, huh? Flip back to page 2083, and we'll see that love is patient, kind, protecting, trusting, hoping, persevering, but not rude, not self seeking, not angered easily, not a wrong doing record keeper. Well, it seems like Love is all of the other fruits wrapped up in one, huh?

Thats a hard way to start, isn't it? Well, I guess get the hard one out of the way, then maybe the others will be easier. I guess I can start tonight, but showing The Lovely Steph Leann love by not waking her up when I go to bed tomorrow.

Shania, Obama and Other Randomness

Random thoughts while watching the Lakers & Celtics, Game 3. Go C's!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

If you are Mutt Lange, how do you cheat on Shania Twain? I mean, what more do you want, Mutt? Have you looked in a mirror lately? Your lady is rich, she's nice, she's smokin' hot, she's talented, and she loves you... how do you cheat on Shania Twain? And the lady he stepped out with? If you're going to cheat on Shania, make it with Carrie Underwood, or Taylor Swift, or heck, even Sara Evans... but the chick he was with? It would be like me cheating on The Lovely Steph Leann with Paul Carby.


Shania.... for this? Seriously?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Kung Fu Panda. Good movie. I laughed, lots. I will say that Jackie Chan (Monkey) didn't have enough to do, but still, it was quite a good flick, and excellent for kids and adults alike.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I think its a mistake to snatch up every single super hero in comics and make a movie out of them... I mean, some characters translate well to film--ie, Hugh Jackman's Wolverine, Alan Cummings as Night Crawler, Tobey Maguire as Spidey and Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne. Some, as Jenn Garner's Elektra and Brandon Routh's Superman can tell you, don't.

Here's a link to The 20 Superhero Movies We Hope They Never Make. #15 is so scary I almost poo'd myself.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

We kept our 10 year old niece Maddie here at The Cabana this weekend. Friday night, it was Unca' Dave and Little Maddie hanging out, which included the obligatory trip to the mall. We ended up spending some time in Libby Lu.

Its a teen/tween/drama queen dream. If you are babysitting, or caretaking of a young girl, just go there, let them run wild. Takes a good half hour or more of your time. If you want to use up even more time, give them some money to spend there--it'll be another 20 minutes for them to make their mind up on what to buy.

That being said, I think that if you are male, and don't have a child with you, you should be arrested for going into that store, because either you are R. Kelly, or scoping for chicks, and neither is good. I think Chris Hanson should just set up Dateline's cameras right here, in a new episode of "To Catch a Predator".

I almost expected him to walk out of Brookstone and stop me... "Excuse me, what are you doing here? Why don't you have a seat on that speckled, glittery stool right there..."

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Not only does "Get Smart" feature The Rock, whom I've got a mancrush on, but it also features Anne Hathaway, who might be one of the hottest chicks in Hollywood (could possibly be an heir apparent to The Goddess)... so why don't I want to see it?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

The fine art of buttering popcorn is lost on today's generation of theater working teenagers. I worked at a theater in college, then not too long after I moved to Birmingham, and I learned how to butter a tub of popcorn. You put a scoop or two it, give it a swirl of butter, put in more, swirl more butter on it, and so on until its full. That way, as you are eating the popcorn, just when you think you are out of popcorn with sufficient butter on it, well, looky there, more butter!

Today's kids? They just fill it up and do one swig of butter from the machine. If you ask for extra butter, you might get some in the middle. Absolutely no clue of the classics.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Who hasn't wanted to own a Flux Capacitor?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Stormtroopers posin'. That's all I can say. Its hilarious.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I've talked about this on a previous blog... but I gotta tell ya, one of the most random, stupid movies ever that catches me when I flip past it on cable is "Employee of the Month". Dane Cook actually seems funny, Andy Dick is somewhat likable, and for whatever reason, Jessica Simpson is somewhat cute. (note to Tony Romo: Carrie is still hotter. If she wants you back, drop Jess like a bad habit).

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I maintain a theory that Barack Hussein Obama says nothing better than anyone else in the history of the world. He could teach Paula Abdul about sunshine and all of its blowing traits. I also think that when you take away the teleprompter, Barack the Magic Negro completely melts down with a deer in the headlights-like appearance.

Here's a transcript from his speech from last Thursday in Bristol, Virginia... someone asked him about universal healthcare--I had to listen to this about fifteen times to get it down perfectly. I suffer for you people. When you see "...", that doesn't mean I cut something out, this is exactly what he said.

Here's his answer:

"What they'll say is, well, it costs too much money, but, you know what? It would cost ab... it would, it would, it would cost about the same as what we would spend... it... over the course of ten years it would cost what it would cost us... it (uncomfortable chuckle)... alright, okay... we're going to... the... it would cost us about the same as it would cost for about... (someone in the audience says something--and keep in mind, other than this one guy, the audience is dead silent) Hold on one second, I can't hear myself. But I'm glad you're fired up though. I'm glad."

He continued by saying,"Everybody knows that it makes no sense that, you send a kid to the emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma, they end up taking up a hospital bed, it costs... when... if you... they just gave, gave them treatment early, and they got some treatment and... uh... a breathalyzer... or an inhalator... not a breathalyzer (crowd finally laughs) I haven't had much sleep in the last 48 hours..."

Yes, I'm sure he's tired, and yes, we all stumble over our words sometimes--heck, I stutter often... but my point is, if this is Dubya, the media would be going nuts about what a stupid, bumbling idiot he is.

Course, as busy as the clean and articulate Barack the Magic Negro is, its no wonder he hasn't visited all 57 states... or, with one left to go, that makes 58... though he hasn't been to Alaska or Hawaii... so 59? I'm so confused.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

You know, I don't know that I would have a problem with nationalized healthcare on two conditions... 1) its not mandatory. I want the option to get my own. 2) The government doesn't run it.

This is my big issue. You want our government, our Congress, who can't balance their budget, who has pumped billions of dollars into programs that don't work, who can't keep their Washington Senate cafes open (!) to run our healthcare program. By the way, if you click on the link, remember that our government majority tells us that privatization is a bad thing, and nationalization is a good thing.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Whew... feel like I just opened up a firestorm with that. I'm going to get comments, I'm sure. I may respond, I may not... but I will say I'm in a weird position--I don't like either guy. McCain or Barack Hussein Obama. So anything I say about The Magic Negro, I'll probably agree with your responses when you get down on Johnny Mac.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

One of my favorite things about The Lovely Steph Leann? When she wears blue. God did this great thing with eyes where sometimes, if the clothes and the eye color match, the eyes shine. And The Lovely Steph Leann's does, when she wears blue. Her eyes dance. They're pretty eyes anyway, but they are so enamoring when they dance. I love it.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

And finally, I went thrift store shopping the other day with my buddies Jason, Croyle and Paulie Walnuts. The plan, originally, was for Jason to find a used tackle or tool box, but as the afternoon wore on, it was pretty clear that he just wanted an excuse to go out to thrift stores.

Perhaps the best one I'd ever seen was on Highway 150, right across from the Wal-Mart shopping center. Very clean, very organized. We somehow visited one in Centerpoint, then another in Centerpoint, which was like a football field full of nothing but crap. I mean, 8 tracks, vases, cups (I saw the same CBS 42 cup in all three stores), old clothes, tvs falling apart, couches falling apart, and we all felt somewhat dirty when we left.

Centerpoint is not really the safest places for three white guys and a half-Mexicali to be hanging out, so we all wore our Kevlar tightly. The highlight of the day, though, was some guy on his motorcycle who flew past us on his crotch rocket, wheelie and all. Secretly, we were hoping he would fall off.

So anyway, we're strumming along, and we somehow catch up to him. Croyle is driving, so we arne't trying to catch up--he's not known for his interstate speed. The guy on the rocket looks over at us, has this look if "wha? how did you...??" and speeds off. He gets caught behind a truck, and we pass him again. This time we all grin and wave.

This is the kind of stuff you get all the time being single, but only get every now and again married. Paulie Walnuts said, "You know what, forget the wives. Let's just hang out tonight."

Woulda been nice...

Dave's Latest Movies, Dave's Recent Books

Dave's Latest Movies...

"Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"
It was everything I thought it would. I'm a big fan of Cate Blanchett, so it was fun to see her in type of "let's just have a blast" kind of role, but you know, I think Harrison Ford is grating on me. He's so grizzled and just... well, unhappy. Perhaps its ruining a perfectly good marriage with Melissa Matheson, perhaps its dating what amounts to a cute yardstick, perhaps its that he hasn't had a real hit in some number of years ("Hollywood Homicide"? Really?) but whatever it is, he just seems so unhappy. I mean, come on, dude, you're freakin' Han Solo! Embrace it. You are Indy! For a period of time in the early 80s, you had SIX of the Top Ten highest money making movies of ALL TIME... be happy. Someone buy this guy an ice cream.

Anyway, it was a good movie, just not a great movie. Maybe I wanted it to be great, maybe like "Independence Day" and "Ocean's Twelve" it will get better upon subsequent viewings... the plot was a little goofy for me, but I have to remember its set in the 50s, when the type of movies that drive this plot were really popular. Oh, and Shia Labeouf is great.

"Charlie Wilson's War"
This movie was pretty darn slick, and I'll give you three reasons why. (1) Philip. (2) Seymour. (3) Hoffman. The guy is just amazing, really. So, this is the true story of Congressman Charlie Wilson who helped Afghanistan get the guns and ammo they needed to drive out the Russians in the early 80s, with the help of Julia Roberts and PS Hoffman. There is a ton of language, some boobage, and either a Tom Hanks butt shot, or a butt double--either way, I'm not a fan of that one.

The movie does open up debate, however, on some crucial what-ifs. What ended up happening is that when the Russians were driven out, because the US pulled their support immediately, the leadership in Afghanistan was null and void... well, until the Taliban or the like moved in. So what would have happened had the US stayed in and finished? I dunno. Hopefully, we won't be asking the same question about Iraq.

"Made of Honor"
Okay, so its cute. And it's Patrick Dempsey, a lead executive in The Lovely Steph Leann's Official Colin Firth Club. And his ingenue, Michelle Monaghan, is pretty hot herself. Anyway, its the basic premise of "My Best Friend's Wedding" (despite the comparisons, its still a better film), just gender flipped--a guy who is a Romeo of women ends up falling for his best friend, only too late, and has to do what it takes to break up the wedding and win her over.

Yes, its as contrived as it sounds. It does have a slightly different ending, though, but nothing as charming as Rupert Everett, Julia Roberts, Cammie Diaz or a table sing-a-long of "I Say A Little Prayer"

Speaking of Jessica Alba... so, I sort of want to see Sandler's "You Don't Mess With the Zohan", parts of the trailer actually crack me up in a "Waterboy"/"Deuce Bigalow" sort of way. However comma there is nothing, and I mean nothing about that new Mike Myers movie, "The End of My Career As I Know It" (also called "The Love Guru") that interests me. And I mean nothing. That looks like fourteen train wrecks in one. And poor Jessica Alba. How did someone so hot get wrongly cast as Sue Storm, only to then get stuck in a Dane Cook movie, and then this? Did she think that Mike Myers somehow still carried weight? Like, has there been once-iconic movies that have held up less over time than Waynes World or the Austin Powers flicks? Seriously, when was the last time you heard someone say "schwing" or anything other than "one beeellion dollars"? Where was I?

"Ironman"
The best film of the year thus far. Absolutely unbelievable. Robert Downey Jr is perfect as flawed hero Tony Stark, a guy who starts out a complete jerk, and ends up only being slightly less of one, now that he has some sort of moral code.

Its actually not bad for kids, save the one 45 second scene where he and a reporter... well, "interview", if you want to say that. The action is great, very little language, the pace is quick and clever, and even Gwyneth Paltrow, who was in danger of being horribly miscast, a la Jess Alba in the Fantastic Four movies, pulls off Pepper Potts, the much tempting assistant. And almost as brilliant as Rob Jr is Jeff Bridges, complete with big bald, misshapen head and long beard, making a great return to fun films not seen since Lebowski.

"The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian"
Ya know, I was pumped for "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe", and rightly so, because it was just awesome. However, hearing this movie was coming, I just wasn't as excited. I mean, I guess I'd go see it eventually, but it didn't spark my interest like Wardrobe did.

We went to see it on Memorial Day and... wow. It was amazing. It topped the first one, remarkably, and kept going. Prince Caspian is even cool, not annoying, and the kids are growing up. Who knew that Susan Pevensie was kinda hot? Did I say that?

Its just cool to see big beasts and things attack each other Braveheart style, and of course, Aslan is always a mane attraction. If you think you might like it, go see it--you'll love it. If you think you'll love it, go see it--you'll love it more than you thought you would.

Of course, it's sad that the movie isn't performing at the box office like expected, endangering the next film in the serious.

Dave's Latest Books...
"Unholy Messenger: The Life & Crimes of the BTK Killer" by Stephen Singular
In early 2005, Dennis Rader was arrested, accused, then convicted of the murders of 10 people between 1974 and 1991... and finally, Kansas' worst serial killer was behind bars forever. "BTK" stood for "Bind Them, Torture Them, Kill Them", which is how Rader, aka BTK, killed his victims. Mostly, he went after women, but he started out pretty incompetant, killing others only by virtue of them being there.

Turns out that BTK would have gotten away with it... if it wasn't for his ego rising up and getting in the way. "Unholy Messenger" is a recap and mini-biography of a man who was, for all intents and purposes, the epitome of evil. At his trial, after conviction, as he addressed the families of those he killed, he showed little remorse for his crimes, though he wanted it known that he didn't look at pornography, because he wasn't that kind of person. It reads fast, though can be a little creepy in parts.

"Nature Girl" by Carl Hiassen
I'm a fan of Hiassen novels, as they are just fun, easy, breezy reads. The last I read, "Skinny Dip" was hilarious, so I thought I'd pick this one up. Turns out it's almost as good... the book opens up with half-Seminole Sammy Tigertail dumping a body off of his canoe, and he plans on seeking refuge in one of the thousands of small Everglade islands. Then, we meet Honey Santana, who is a neurotic, odd woman who lives in Everglade City, Florida (the state where all of Hiassen's books are set) and is a single mom to her 12 year old son, Fry. She gets a rude telemarketing call where the end result has her being labeled as a "dirty old skank" by the telemarketer, Boyd Shreave, who is married to Lily, but having an affair with a bored co-worker named Eugenie.

Honey lures Boyd, and as it turns out, Eugenie, to Florida to teach them a lesson in manners, and they are closely followed by Dealey, a PI that Lily hired to prove her husband was cheating on her. Honey is being closely followed by Louis Piejack, a slimeball of a guy who fired Honey earlier because she whacked him with a crab hammer, that is, after he put the moves on her. Also popping up is Honey's ex, Perry Skinner, who is suspicious of why Honey is flying down two strangers, and Gillian, who befriends Sammy Tigertail.

One of the fun things about Hiassen is he's got characters criss-crossing all over, kind of like an Altman film, only not as serious and much easier to follow.

"To Late to Say Goodbye" by Ann Rule
On December 4th, 2004, a little boy ran across the street to knock on his neighbor's door. When she answered, he was crying and merely said, "My daddy shot my mommy." 33 year old Jennifer Corbin lay dead, a gunshot wound to the head, and immediately, her dentist husband, 40 year old Bart Corbin was suspected, though it seemed like it was a suicide.

And what seems like an open and shut case suddenly went heywire, as Max Barber, father of Jennifer and not convinced of his son-in-law's guilt gets a call from another man who merely said, "Bart Corbin was dating our daughter in 1990. And she died of a single gunshot wound to the head too. They said hers was a suicide."

The tale gets darker, as Ann Rule dives into the private lives of two women--Dolly Hearns and Jennifer Corbin--and the same man they dated--Bart Corbin--in 1990 and 10 years later. Not only does the investigation suddenly involve an internet romance with a guy named Chris who isn't what he appears to be, but also an auto mechanic working at Troy Small Motors in Troy, Alabama... a place I've been too. Strange. Good read.

"Bringing Down the House: The Story of Six M.I.T Students Who Took Vegas for Millions" by Ben Mezrich
If you've seen the trailer for the movie "21", starring Kevin Spacey, this is the book it's based on... however, the movie takes a major detour from the book. The basic premise is the same, with a group of students getting together and training on the specifics of counting cards in blackjack, so they can win lots and lots of money not just in Vegas, but around the country.

However, from reports, the book itself is not quite what happened either, as not only does the movie take major fictional liberties from the book, the book takes major fictional liberties from the actual truth--the chip swallowing never happened, and the break in with the chip on the table is reported to not have happened either.

It is a fun book, though, as you chronicle what is a huge payoff, only closely followed by one casino after another shutting them down... even though they really aren't cheating--they are only counting cards, not altering the way the game is played.

Books coming up: "An Inconvenient Book" by Glenn Beck... "Starbucks Saved My Life" by Michael Gates Gill... "Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?" by Peter Walsh. You think I'm kidding.

Movies I'm Pumped For: "The Happening", M. Night Shamalanalala's comeback film... "Incredible Hulk", the Hulk's comeback film... and "Mamma Mia". You know I'm not kidding.

Can anything top Ironman? Perhaps this can...