Dave's Reality Check II: Idol Dudes

(scroll down to read the review of the girls, who performed on Tuesday, reviewed on Thursday afternoon)

So, I'm watching the guys tape of Idol, and we'll see how they do.

• Patrick Hall, singing "Come to My Window". Melissa Ethridge??? Stephanie loves this guy. This is one of my Top 100 songs of all time, so I hope he serves it. And... he's eh. Oh dear God... his mom has lips the size of Pelham. Lipo, baby. Its a dude singing Melissa Ethridge, which I guess might be the same thing, but still... Randy said it was okay. Paula said "your niche was what you did in your auditions", which is the nice way of saying "it was terrible", which Simon said it was.
• David Radford, singing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" . He's the other guy Steph really likes. And he might as well be John Stevens 2. So JP2 croons... and really, truly sounds like a party entertainer. Randy said "terrible". He was right. It sounded like freakin' DeuceFestDeuce's singalong night. Paula liked it (of course she did). Simons says "be better in your style".
• Bucky Covington... wait, his name is Bucky? You expect me to support and vote for to win, then buy an album by a guy named Bucky? Yes, he's the guy you'd expect to see on Cops, wearing a wifebeater and whizzing in the bushes. Bucky. Bucky. He's singing "Simple Man" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. He's like the welfare Bo Bice. When I used to go out with Millie Reeves in college, we'd go to Tony's Bar for karaoke night. I think we've seen this guy. I didn't like him at all... Randy said "don't push the voice". Paula, of course, liked him. Simon reiterated my point about a bar singer. Bucky. You know, he could grow on me. I dont think he should win at all, but he might be entertaining.
• Jon Peter Lewis, Version 2.0, singing "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5. Bold move. He looks like a Savage brother (Fred and Corey?). He's actually not bad. He's like the guy in high school that all the girls consider their best friend, but no one will seriously go out with him, and he ends up waiting and finding a precious treasure later. Wait, that's me. I like JPL V2.0's white guy dancing too. Randy said "you did your thing". Paula says "Bobby Brady... I loved Bobby Brady" Simon says "average". Right now, JPL V2.0 has got his eyes set on Pickler, I can see it.
• Sway, singing "Reasons" by Earth Wind & Fire. He's the guy who forgot the words to "Its In His Kiss", which everyone knows. He's singing like a soprano with a cold... and he's trying to get the EWF sound, but he's no Philip Bailey. And he's wearing a pimp hat. I will say he's different, hitting that falsetto. He just looks like a goob. Randy liked it. Paula liked it. Simon used the word "pimpy"! He's copying me, I swear.
• Chris Daughtry, "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi. This has the potential to be AWESOME. And I'm hearing it now... and its AWESOME. I would buy a CD by this guy. And I can only say that about one other person I've heard so far, and thats Pickler.You have to be at least 25 or older right now to appreciate this song, I'll be honest. Randy says "Great performing voice... it was hot". Paula has been wowed. Simon says "for the first time tonight, I'm hearing potential. Charisma."
• Anthoney Federov Part II, "One Last Cry" by Brian McKnight. The words "in over his head" come to mind. He's doing his best McKnight imitation... but I'll tell ya, I've sung this song to chicks in college just as well as he's doing (Katherine "Ends Up Being Psychotic" Gates comes to mind). Randy said "That wuz da bomb". Paula says "you make me beam". Simon says it was horrible. Thank you Simon. And like JPL V2.0, he's every chick's little bro.
• Gedeon McKinney, "Shout" by the Isley Brothers. This should be fun. I have hopes for this guy... something about him I like. Maybe its the Warrick Brown factor. Bring it brother. I'm liking it... I'm liking it... he's doing it... making it do what it do, baby... and he's got the entire audience, including the Idol Chicks on the side, up on their feet, always a good sign. I really liked it--nothing over the top or nothing that blew me away, but very good performance. Randy liked it. Paula liked it. Simon says it looked like a Chippendales audition.
• Elliott Yamin, "If You Really Love Me" by Stevie Wonder. I think he's in the trailer next to Bucky. Bucky. Sheesh. E-Y is singing Stevie, and he admits that he sings it karaoke back home. This guy just looks odd. I think I'd buy a Sway Box Set before picking up E-Y's EP. And, of course, Randy loved it. Paula loved it. Simon said "potentially... the best male vocalist we've ever had." WHAT?? WHAT??
• Bobby Bennett, the Hispanic Bob Guiney. He's singing "Copacabana". What? He's singing Barry? I didn't know about this guy to begin with... but I think I like him. Somehow he's got what Scott Savol didn't... whatever it is, Scott didnt have it, Hispanic Bob does. Holy crap... I don't even know what to think about that. It was absolutely goofy--and I LOVED it. Randy said "aight". Paula said "entertainer". Simon says "Barry Manilow is screaming from a hotel right now... that was a complete nightmare."
• Ace Young, singing "Father Figure". Trust me, I don't feel bad at all about having a thing for Pickler, or My Girl McPhee. Steph is all about some Ace Young and the Ace Hair. She told me I'd look horrible with that hair, but on Ace, it works. HOWEVER... singing this song, she may not like him anymore--she HATES this song. He's doing it justice, though, I will say that. I personally think this song is awesome... a little bit on the edgy side for some of my reading audience (which might just be Jaci...). And he's hitting the notes, too. Randy loves Ace. Paula says "all of her girlfriends... and some of her guy friends... love him". Simon said Ace has the "X" factor.
• And finally... my boy Taylor Hicks, singing "Levon" by Elton John & Bernie Taupin. Good song. Come on, Taylor, bring it. I actually don't know that Taylor can stand up straight and lock his knees. Not bad, though... I think Daughtry won this round, but Hicks will be here another day, I can tell ya. Randy says "you got it, dude", and Paula says "You exude". They both said he's different than any other guy on the show, ever. Simon says "To begin with, I didnt think you'd make the finals... I was wrong."

And now... for the results show... to be blogged live...