Idol Birth Music

Its a yearly tradition to have a theme where our 10-12 Idol contestants (the tradition tends to rear its lyrical head early in the Finals shows) sing songs from the years of their birth.  Its been interesting to note that, while watching American Idol over these some odd 9 years or so (we neglected to watch Kelly Clarkson's win in the first season), the "year of birth" has been getting later and later.  That is to say that early on, Songs From your Birth Year featured stuff from you know, 1979, 1982 or maybe for those really young, 1986...

Now?  Songs from 1979 wouldn't qualify because it would put the Idol contestant at 31 or so, about 3 years over the age limit.  Tonight?  We have a song from 1995 make our auditions.  Nineteen.  Ninety.  Five.  That's a full two years after I graduated high school, and depending on exactly when the song was released, it would have found me as a sophomore or junior at Troy State University (Go Trojans!)

Because of a project I'm working on on Wednesday nights now--details coming soon--my Idol recap shows will mostly appear on Thursdays now, and I'll stick the results on the tail end of it.  All that said...

THIS

IS AMERICAN IDOL

Ah, its a beautiful day here at The Cabana... the Plantation Shutters are opened, the door shutters are wide open, the sunlight is pouring in, and the television is adjusted just ever so slightly so the glare is minimal!  Seacrusty reminds us that last week, ProActiv Spokeschick Ashthon Jones was given her walking papers, so Week Two of The Finals begins now.

Songs from your birth year, and this will give us people in our mid-30s a great indication of how old we exactly are...

And tonight, we begin in 1984, with Naboo Agrabahao, and videos of her parents show us that even they are wearing traditional African garb, complete with head wrap.  Tonight, Naboo is taking on Tina Turner's "What's Love Got to Do With It", which at the time, when I was 9, I thought the song was kinda dumb.  Years, decades later, my tastes a little more appreciative and refined, the song is quite a masterpiece.

Tell you what, though.. I wouldn't use the word "master" to describe the "piece" that Naboo's song is tonight.  Its terrible, and I don't say that only because I'm not a fan... it sounds awful.  Like, she would sound better if she were reading it with style.. awful. 

Crazy Creepy Uncle Stevie calls it... beautiful?  What?  What?  J-Lo builds her up first, but tells her that she's pitchy--even drawing some boos from the audience.  Randy the Dawg says the same thing. 

Thankfully, though, this might be what gets her kicked off the show.  Unless the judges save her.  A-freakin'-gin.

Next, back to 1984 again, Idol's version of Bradley Cooper, Pauly Mac, is singing Sir Elton John's "I Guess Thats Why They Call It the Blues", and this should be interesting.  I love this guy's voice, but it just doesn't fit this song.  Wasn't there a Rod Stewart song in 1984 that he could have taken on?  Maybe "Some Guys Have All The Luck" or "Infatuation"?  Just a thought.  Truly, though, he does sound good, revealing that he does have a sinus thing going on.

J-Lo says, "I feel you... you sounded good!".  Randy the Dawg doesn't give him a pass because Pauly Mac "because you have a cold, because singers have to deal with that.." but compares him to Ray LaMontigue, which is not bad.  Cool Uncle Steven Tyler says, "Your a cool dude in a loose mood..."

And now, 1995... Thiamegia was born.  Like, if I had started early, I could have been her dad.  In 1995, I think I was with Julie Haynes.  That's funny...

Where was I?  Okay, she's singing another ballad?  Really?  "Colors of the Wind", from Pocohontas, the Vanessa Williams version... not only do I not like the original, I don't like that movie, and its my least favorite Vanessa Williams song by a mile.  I dig Vanessa, but give me "Save the Best for Last" or the funky "Running Back to You", but not this one.

I just fast forwarded through it.  I'm sure she was fine.  Randy the Dawg said it was just "okay".  And he says it was boring, and to stop singing ballads.  Uncle Stevie says it was good, but wonders if that's who Thiamegia thinks she is.  J-Lo says to work on her vibratto.  Whatever.  It was crap. 

Let's take it back to the late 80s now with The Straight Adam Lambert.  His birth year?  1989.  I was in 9th grade, maybe 10th, and the biggest band dork ever.  Ever.  And watching his video interviews, I can see his Asberger's or Tourette's coming out--his eyes twitch repeatedly.  Like he's squinting in the sun, but he's doing it over and over.

"I'll Be There For You" by Bon Jovi is the song, and I hate that I didn't get to see this with The Lovely Steph Leann, because she might have been a puddle on the floor.  She LOVES her some Bon Jovi, and truly, this song was the favorite song of every chick I knew in 1989--from my classmate Tonya Windham to the hot senior Sandy Wright--Bon Jovi was the love of anyone and everyone who was the female gender.  And even some male genders (I was going to toss a name in here, but I'll refrain, James Rodgers.  Oh come on, we were all wondering.)

As for The Straight Adam Lambert, not bad.  Not great, but not bad.  The song itself is what, 34 minutes long, with 11 minutes of guitar intro, so I guess its hard to pick up a good 90 seconds to go with.   Uncle Steven Tyler says, "What?  1989?  I have sandwiches under my bed older than you!  Don't get too poppy on me!"  And The Straight Adam Lambert smiles back, "I'm saving Aerosmith for the Finale!"   That's awesome.

1989 was a good year for Aerosmith too, with the album "Pump" still going strong, with "Janie's Got a Gun", "Love in an Elevator" (which I'd be shocked to hear on Idol, because that song is so not Emmy Turnbow safe) and the rock on, broken hearted balled "What It Takes", that I still know every word to by heart. 

J-Lo thought he was great, as did Randy the Dawg.  I concur.

Seacrusty asks a loaded question... "What Whitney song will Haley Reinhart perform?"  Wow, Haley.. taking on 1990 Whitney Houston.   She's singing one of my three favorite Whitney songs, "I'm Your Baby Tonight".  I mean, this song is funky and cool and awesome and rockin and soulful and so on... so Haley, tread lightly.  This is WHITNEY.  Pre-crack Whitney, which means awesome Whitney.

Okay, so Haley isn't...

Well, she's not...

Okay, so she's singing okay, good enough I guess, but she's...

...um...

Fine.  She's not black enough.  There, I said it.  This isn't a racial statement, but to sing this type of Whitney song, you have to have soul.  Haley has a lot going for her, great smile and great voice, but soul?  No.  None. 



J-Lo starts the feedback, and I know its going to be bad.. "Hey... you look beautiful tonight..."  She beats around the bush in telling Haley that this was not the song for her.  Seacrusty comes out and helps her wipe a little stray lipstick off of Haley's chick.  How random is this? 

------------------------------

So, I would love to continue the reviews and the witty banter, giving you the full report, but unfortunately, here's what just happened... I finished Idol and the post... I was working on links, pictures and a video, and while I was jamming to said video, I noticed it stopped halfway through.  Lost connection.  Now, sometimes this does happen... but here, at The Cabana, its happened more and more.  I've been around and around with AT&T already, and they sent someone out here today to replace our cheap, piece of crap modem with a wireless one.. and it worked.  While the computer was sitting by the modem, while the guy was here.  Sort of like taking your car into the shop--the noises stop when Joe Goodyear is looking at it, right?

So, I get this page that says, "Your internet connection has been broken"... and then ten seconds later, it says "Hey, we fixed it!  Just close your browser and you'll be up and running on the interweb, pancho!"  So, naturally, because I'm an idiot who doesn't think--ask The Lovely Steph Leann, ask any of The Deuce Guys, ask Melanie--I just closed it and re-opened it, expecting to find what had been saved to be there. 

Of course, it wasn't.  So, you will not get to read my whole thoughts on Peepee Tuscany, Stefano Italiano, Deep Voiced Scotty, America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina, The Soulful Jacob Lusk, Casey A, K-Rod, nor will you get to read the lead-up to me saying, "If I were a lesbian, this would be my anthem."  So, I'll just do what I did last week, give you the quick one line to those that my reporting didn't save. 

Peepee Tuscany... Favorite of the night.  Brilliant Whitney.  Safe

Stefano Italiano... This kid is growing on me, and he sounded great.  Safe

America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina... She did well, but nothing flashy.  Safe.

The Soulful Jacob Lusk... Judges loved him, but I thought he was terrible.  Safe tonight, though.

Casey A... I've heard him better, but his risky take on Nirvana was old.  Safe.

K-Rod.  Horrid.  Horrid.  In danger.

Deep Voiced Scotty... He did his thing, and he did it well.  Safe.

Also safe is The Straight Adam Lambert... I think Pauly Mac and Thiamegia are borderline, and Neoxmia Agrahbah and, unfortunately Haley, are in danger. 

Results tonight!

Whatev! Results NOW!!!


The good thing about Idol Results shows is that I can fast forward, alot. Tonight, we won't hear musical performances from The Black Eyed Peas and Lee DeWyze, and we won't see a new Ford music video, and we won't see a group performance... we will see 12 people squirm in their seats until the Couch of Anxiety becomes the Couch of Safety, and we'll see 3 people head to the Silver Stools of Failure. And one goes home. And unless is Niagra Fallsagogo, the judges won't save 'em.

THIS IS AMERICAN


IDOL RESULTS!!

Seacrusty follows Randy the Dawg, Crazy Creepy Uncle Stevie and Jennifer Lopez out, and its another exciting show!

We do get an update on the American Red Cross drive from last night... if you text REDCROSS to 90999, it will send $10 for Japan relief. Say what you want about Idol, they do alot of compassionate work for our world. Go Idol.

Aaaaand.... I just cut out about 10 minutes of show by fast forwarding through the Group Song, the commercials and the Ford Video. I love the power of DVR. Seacrusty instructs everyone to look under their seats in the audience, and the audience each finds a copy of the 10th Anniversary Idol Compilation, the best from the last 10 years of Idol.

Cute little video montage of the Idols discussing their talents, their pets, their accents, their desires to learn foriegn languages, and Thiamegia takes a fun shot at America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's twang.

Back to the stage, Seacrusty says, "Dim the lights", and an Irish song comes on, the stage goes green, and apparently, that wasn't supposed to happen, cause Seacrusty makes a joke about the stage director tossin' back the brew, and then calls for the "Tension... dim the lights please."

Up first, Casey A, The Soulful Jacob Lusk and America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina go to the center of the stage. I would imagine they will all be sitting on the Couch of Safety in a few seconds. Smart, though, go ahead and get the front runners out of the way. Seacrusty tells The Soulful Jacob Lusk he is safe.

Now, America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina, and Seacrusty sends her back to The Couch of Safety. And finally, Casey A... and predictably, Seacrusty sends him back to The Couch of Safety.

Seacrusty, you faker! But you didn't fool me this time! I'm on to your tomfoolery!

Now... Haley Reinhart and Pauly Mac... this will be a little harder. I can expect Haley to take a Silver Stool of Failure, though Seacrusty may pull a "you are both in the bottom three!" on us. You know that Seacrusty!  Pauly Mac has the whitest teeth I think I've seen on this show, and this kid cannot stop smiling.  Great thing, actually.

Seacrusty says one is safe, the other is in the bottom three... and its Haley, like I expected.  Pauly Mac will be around next week, as he takes his place on The Couch of Safety, meanwhile Haley forces a grin from the Silver Stools of Failure.

Fast forwarded through two commercial breaks, sandwiched around an American Idol Winner Lee DeWyze performance that I didn't hear at all. 

Next is Deep Voiced Scotty, Peepee Tuscany and The Straight Adam Lambert, and I'm guessing Seacrusty will do another all-three-are-safe trickeration.

Deep Voiced Scotty is safe.  Peepee Tuscany is safe.  And The Straight Adam Lambert, as long as he keeps performing at least decently, doesn't have to worry much until they get down to about 7 or 8.  And... he's safe.

Told you!  I'm on to your shenanigans, Ryan Seacrusty!

Now... Stefano Italiano and Naimey Aquafina are up.  And I predict Stefano Italiano heads to The Couch of Safety, and Nameya heads to The Silver Stools of Failure.  Am I right?   Yup.  (and I typed "yup" as Seacrusty said "After the nationwide vote..." and before he said "Stefano is safe")

Now, K-Rod and Thiamegia.  K-Rod, bottom three easily.  She was dreadful.  And the judges are on crack if they said she was better than last week... she did that Selena song, but her cover of Taylor Dayne probably made Taylor Dayne want to kill herself.  Wouldn't shock me if Thiamegia was in the Bottom Three, because her song "Color of the Wind" was sooooo boooorrinnnggg... one is safe, the other is not.  After the nationwide vote... Thiamegia is safe.

Do I know this show or do I know this show?  I'm wise to your strategery, Seacrusty.  The Bottom Three, Haley, Neoxmea and K-Rod...

I fast forwarded through the commercials and was going to go through The Black Eyed Peas, but caught sight of Fergie in her white dress... okay, she fascinates me.  She's sexy, yet borderline skanky. 

Alright, enough of that.  Fast forward through the song, and commercials.

Seacrusty is going to send one of the Bottom Three to the Couch of Safety... and that person is... Noxema.  Curse it all!  We can't get rid of her!  She's like acne that just won't stinkin' go away!  Well, let's get rid of K-Rod at least... Seacrusty says, "The person in danger of leaving us tonight is... K-Rod."

Now, Seacrusty might as well have said, "Since neither one of you are named Naimey or Casey A, the person who WILL leave us tonight, because the judges aren't going to save either of you, is..."

With tears in her eyes, she sings Mariah's "Hero" (which I fast forwarded through), and the judges deliberate to tell her no.  Randy the Dawg tells her its not unanimous, but they aren't going to use the save on K-Rod. 

Bye.

The 100 Coolest Things of 2010... #80 to 71

As always, you'd be better reading this on the mothership, not on Facebook, because of video, photos and the general screw up in lay out that happens when it imports into FB...

The 100th to 91st Coolest Things of 2010
The 90th to 81st Coolest Things of 2010

80... Affleck Robs a Bank
So, he gets a bad rap, but somehow, someway, not only as Ben Affleck turned into a credible actor, he's actually a pretty good director too.  In 2007, he directed--and starred in--"Gone Baby Gone", an excellent Boston crime mystery, and now, he's back with "The Town".



The story simply is that Affleck and a few of his buddies are bank robbers, including an excellent Jeremy Renner, and are trying to finish up their theivery career.  The film then follows Doug (Affleck) and his boys as they try to pick up the pieces after a robbery goes wrong, and after he ends up with a relationship with a chick they took hostage.

Jon Hamm, from "Mad Men", shows up as an FBI agent chasing them and... okay, I know, I know what you are thinking... "This sounds like every other bank robber movie, with a main character and an impossible romance (check) and heist gone wrong (check) and being talked into one last heist that they didn't want to do (check) and the rogue agent right on their tail (check)..." but seriously, its better than that.

There is a load of language in it, including a whole lotta F-bombs, and there is some violence--it is about criminals robbing banks, after all--and the like, perhaps not as Emmy Turnbow Safe as you'd want it to be.  But a great film, nonetheless.

79... "American Honey"
Song by Lady Antebellum off of their "Need You Now" CD.  What can I say?  Great song.

78... The A-Team Gets a Redux
Much like "Unstoppable",  the 81st Coolest Thing of 2010, "The A-Team" is nothing more than a popcorn flick, though what it has over "Unstoppable"--for better or worse--is characters that anyone over 25 will be familiar with.

Here's what I said on June 21st:

All in all,you can tell that this movie was made by people who loved the original TV show... it didn't set out to mock the show, or move the show from its original direction, it modernizes the tale, brings it to nowadays and sets up what might be a mildly successful movie franchise.


Bottom line, if you liked the TV show, you can consider this a PG-13, one hour and forty two minute version of that very show... most people I know liked this movie alot, and those people loved the original show... however, if you didn't like the TV show, you won't like this film at all. If you have no concept of the TV show, you'll view this movie as a popcorn ride with some interesting characters who's names you might be familiar with.

You can read the full review by clicking here...

I know this might be blasphemy, but a few weeks after I saw the movie, I was flipping channels and happened to see that an episode of The A-Team was coming on some ethnic channel called Centric One.  So, I flipped over and watched about half of it... and... well... it was bad.  I mean, really bad.  When I was 11 years old, this show was the junk.  Everything about it was rockin' awesome.  Now, especially since I feel like my tastes are more refined, I couldn't watch it.  The acting was bad, the story was bad, the jokes were horrid... maybe if I watched it again, my bar will be much, much lower, but I guess I was shocked by how terrible it was.  Just sayin'.

77... Jeff Bridges Finds a Legacy
Back in 1982, a little movie came out called TRON, and for its day (I'm sure you've heard this before, but I'll reiterate), it was revolutionary.  The graphics were new, the special effects were amazing, the story was creative and brand new, and it was all the rage.  But like many films from that era, or any era, it slowly slipped into the forgotten movies pile, becoming something only a certain aged section of the population would even remember, or even recognize by name.  TRON was a forgotten movie.  Even seeing it some years later, the story holds up, but the special effects are... ehh.

Smashcut to 2009, when a huge announcement was made--they were doing a sequel to TRON.  No one knew what it was about, no one knew how it would be recieved, but finally, another TRON movie would be presented to the world, one that would reunite the fans of the original with the Light Cycles and The Grid, one that would introduce new fans to just such things. 



TRON: Legacy came out in December 2010, and I went to see it as quick as I could... and I loved it.  It was just what the doctor ordered for the continuation of TRON.  Okay, I'll be real here--some of it is kind of hokey, especially when you see there are homeless "people" in The Grid, and when you discover there is an actual nightclub with real DJs and everything.  But the Light Cycles are worth the price of admission... no longer were they single beams of light cutting at immediate right and left angles (which itself was really cool), they were cycles that went in all directions, up, down, side to side and back again, which made for a great little Cycle Battle scene.

The effects have gotten worlds better, and even though its no secret that Jeff Bridges plays not only the main character, Flynn, in both TRON and its sequel, but they superimposed a much younger version of his face onto the villian, Clu, and at some points it looks terrible--but that's neither here nor there.  This was made to be a fun, futuristic, eat popcorn movie and I ate popcorn, thought it was fun and enjoyed it immensely.

Oh, and if you've seen the original and then watch Legacy, and think that "Alan Bradley" looks familiar, just wait.  It took me a minute, but I caught it.

76... Auburn Wins Alot
Who'd thunk it?  While Auburn didn't technically win their championship until January 2011, their magnificent season alone was worth a mention in the Coolest 100 of 2010.  You could have called them the Cardiac Cats, and many people did, at the first part of the season, as they kept getting way behind, then playing catch up all game, and pulling out the victory.

Which meant when they fell behind 24 points to Alabama, Cam Newton simply said, "Eh, we got this..." and darn if they didn't do just that.  Big Daddy Ron and Bro-in-Law Tyler went to the game, and when Bama had their big lead at halftime, with Tyler celebrating and high fiving everyone around, Ron just smiled and said, "This ain't enough... we didn't score enough points..." 

Yep, I'm a Gator Guy.  I still appreciated Auburn's win, and the SEC's fourth straight BCS Championship and what, five in seven years?  That's called domination.

Y'all Bammers call it what you want.  We all know that if Cam Newton had chosen Alabama, had won the school a 2nd consecutive Heisman, then led them to another nation championship (14th?  17th?  328th?) then every member of the Roll Tide nation would have defended him just like Auburn did, and conversely, every Auburn fan would be accusing Alabama of winning a dirty title.  Let's be real here.

75... Glee Finds a Queen
The Lovely Steph Leann loves her some Glee... I mean, like, l-o-v-es her some Glee on Tuesday nights, so much so that she's been completely excited when I've bought her Glee CDs as presents for certain occasions.  Now I must tell you in the spirit of full disclosure, I like Glee.  I don't love Glee, but I do enjoy it when I happen to be with The Lovely Steph Leann in the same room, and its on.  Maybe its the frequent appearances by Kristen Chenoweth.



Anyway, their versions of songs are usually good, but very rarely do they top the originals--but "Somebody To Love" is magnificent.  Its the Queen song, which usually ranks at the bottom of my Queen Favorite Songs List, that when is sung by Glee, takes on a whole new meaning and a whole new sound.  Love it.

74... Wal-Mart Has an Effect
So, in March of 2010, I read a book on Wal-Mart.  Don't ask me why, but I thought it was well written and told a great story of Wal-Mart's rise and business practices.  Here's what I wrote on April 3rd of last year:

I picked up the most fascinating book two weeks ago, solidifying the theory that I will read anything if it grabs my attention in the first chapter. "The Wal-Mart Effect" by Charles Fishman is a book all about... well, not just Wal-Mart, but the effect it has on those who buy from there, those vendors who Wal-Mart buys from, those communities in which Wal-Mart chooses to plant themselves... and also those people who don't buy from Wal-Mart, those vendors who Wal-Mart doesn't buy from (or doesn't anymore), and those communities from which Wal-Mart chooses to not be a part of--or be a part of anymore.

The book isn't about the history of Wal-Mart, though it does devote a page or two to its beginnings and its founders. Mostly, its about the good... and bad... of the largest private company in the history of the world. Fishman does his best to make sure he covers both sides of the equation... like, all the good Wal-Mart has done...

You can read the complete post here.

73... The Author Leaves a Note
Imagine my own surprise when I opened up my blog site, a day after reviewing "The Wal-Mart Effect", which you just read about above, and finding out that the author of the book itself left a comment on the page.  Sez Charles Fishman:
 
Wow, fabulous review. Almost as long as the book itself... The one thing you didn't offer your readers is a link to the book's website, where people can read reviews and other excerpts. http://www.walmarteffectbook.com.   Or, of course:  http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0143038788/thewalmarte09-20

Thanks for the close and appreciative read.
Charles Fishman
Author, "The Wal-Mart Effect"
cnfish@mindspring.com

How great is that?  I thought it was... well, cool.  You can also find a few more links, plus a funny Wal-Mart story courtesy of Amarylis By Morning (up from san antone) by clicking here.

72... Columbus Kills a Zombie
Once again, I remind you that this isn't a Coolest List of Things That Came Out Last Year, because our 72nd ranked Coolest, the movie "Zombieland", was actually released in 2009... but I didn't see it until some time last year, so hence, it makes the 2010 list.

Before "The Social Network" blew up his career into the stratosphere, Jesse Eisenberg starred in a number of films, including "Zombieland", where he plays Columbus, who is a survivor in a world where most people have turned to zombies.  He's trying to get to his parents in Columbus, Ohio, in which you learn that his name isn't really Columbus.. its what he is called because that's his hometown.  And then he runs into Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) and Wichita (Emma Stone, who I am just loving right now), and the comedy begins amongst all the destruction of zombies. 

And right smack dab in the middle is an incredible cameo by Bill Murray, which is the most hilarious part in an already extremely hilarious film. 

The scene as the festival got busier in the evening

71... The Middle Eastern Have a Festival
Every year, around October or so, there's a Catholic church which holds its annual Middle Eastern Festival, featuring delicious foods like kibbie, grape leaves, meat pies and spinach pies, an entire table full of desserts and hundreds of people milling around, and this year, our wonderful friends, The Zarzaurs--That being Chris, kids The Zach Attack, Jay Z and Special K, and of course, The Statuesque Melanie, invited The Lovely Steph Leann and I to come and eat and enjoy the festivities.

We pulled up to the church and as we crested the hill, we came up this huge tent canopy, full of tables and people getting full.  When we walked inside, we were met with the kids taking orders and running around like crazy, Chris Z throwing food onto a plate just as fast as he could, and Melanie trying to keep the peace and order--probably not unlike her usual evenings at home.

The Lovely Steph Leann and I enjoyed the food very much, sitting outside and watching a large group of kids dance (re: belly dance), and as we were about to leave, Melanie mentioned how rough the afternoon had been and was going to be, well into the evening.  The reason being?  Alabama was playing South Carolina--and all the free help wanted to watch the game.  The Lovely Steph Leann was pretty exhausted, so she bowed out, but I agreed to come back in a little while and help serve.

Melanie and The Zack Attack taking a break.  Actually,
The Zack Attack was bored to tears by this time.

And that's what I did.  I arrived back, and was immediately placed in the food assembly line.  There were several different kinds of plates, which I learned quickly, so I spent the next five hours filling the plates with rice and kibbie and meat and grape leaves and on and on, as the kids milled about, sometimes helping, sometimes not, and Melanie milled about, sometimes helping, sometimes getting onto the kids because they weren't.

It was a great time, spending a little bit of time in a bit of a culture I don't know much about.  I don't mean that everyone there was Middle Eastern and no one spoke English, but that it took place in a Catholic Church, which I was able to ask questions about, and the food alone was great conversation. 

Hopefully, I'll be able to help this year, if invited back!

Coming up... Norah Jones features... find out who dropped you on Facebook... and later, the best hat in the whole world...

Music of the Idol's Idols (now with results)

Scroll down for results...

So, I just typed out an entire review on the latest episode of American Idol... and through some magic work of the keys, through some accidental hitting of whatever key combination that if you touch for just 0.000000005 seconds, it screws up everything, everything I just typed was just deleted.  EH-VAH-REE-THING. 

Tonight's theme was "Idols of the Idol contestants", so, here's what I'm going to do... I'm just going to give you my favorites of the night--

Haley Reinhart... I was surprised at how well she did "Blue", and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it.  And maybe it was the low cut blue dress, but I'm also surprised at how cute I think this chick is.  Might not be everyone's cup of tea, so she is borderline.

The Straight Adam Lambert... Singing "Maybe I'm Amazed", one of my favorite songs of all time, he really does it justice, and sounds great.  Safe.

Casey A... didn't disappoint, with Joe Cocker's "With a Little Help From My Friends".  Safe.

Deep Voiced Scotty... Took on Garth Brooks.  And won.  Safe.

Peepee Tuscany... Did a great version of "All By Myself", though nothing I haven't heard before.  Safe.

Lauren Alaina... Not her best night, but sounded better than the judges made her out to be.  America loves her, so safe.

Pauly Mac... Unusual song by Ryan Adams, fit his voice perfectly.  Borderline.

Thiamegia... Did a Michael Jackson song, and the arrangement was weird.  Safe, this time, though she can't be mediocre again.

Ashthon Jones... Boring performance tonight.  In danger.

Stefano Italiano... Took "Lately" by Stevie Wonder and then destroyed it with a horrible arrangement.  In danger.

The Soulful Jacob Lusk... Disappointing, though singing "I Believe I Can Fly", one of my least favorite songs.  America loves him, so safe.

K-Rod... Singing Selena's "I Could Fall In Love", she sounded terrible, and sounded like a song that was too big for her.  And in real danger, and I would definately say she's headed home, and then I heard...

Nimiaa Namabohbow... Horrible.  Terrible.  Horrible.  What is America's obsession with this chick?  Wait, what is the judges obession with this chick?  She needs to be gone, if only for the use of the word "overstand".   I think she's in danger. 

My predictions for the Bottom Three:  K-Rod... Stefano Italiano... Namboo Agreapooh... and though I'd love to see Naboo go home, I'm thinking K-Rod will hit the road...

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Its American Idol results time!  Okay, first, let me mention that we get Idol on the local Fox affliate, WBRC.  Now, you can see the Coke is all over Idol, from Steven Tyler sipping from a Vitamin Water bottle, to J-Lo reaching for her cup that says COKE ZERO on it.

Well, right before the show itself, we get a Pepsi commercial, with Snoop Dogg... and as the commercial ends, it cuts to a full screen size can of Pepsi Maxx, and a hand enters the picture to open the can.  Anyone who has ever tried to open a pop top can single handily knows how hard this is, at least to do it without the drink fizzing and splashing, but that's not the point--the point is, Pepsi must have signed one mega-deal with Fox, or at least this Fox affliate, because that same commercial has appeared before every single episode of Idol this season.  Is this a local thing?  Or is this national?  Cause if its national, I'd be pretty hacked off if I was Coke.

Anyway, time for the results.  Seacrusty comes out, waves to J-Lo, Randy the Dawg and Creepy Cool Uncle Steven Tyler.  The Lovely Steph Leann is hanging out in Gulfport, MS, so I'm all by myself tonight.  Seacrusty tells us that an impressive 875 billion people votes last night... and the Idol Save is back, meaning they can save one single person from elimination, once this season.

I call it--if Naboo Agreakpo gets voted off, at least after tonight, they save her.  She's like Kudzu, no matter what America does, we can't get rid of her.  I think the judges should be able to use the Idol Save--but NOT on anyone they gave a Wild Card spot too, meaning Naboo, Stefano Italiano and Ashthon Jones should not be able to be saved... America already said they didn't want these three, and they shouldn't be asked back if America reiterates that in voting.  Just my two cents worth.

So, we cut to a video of the Idol Mansion... something new this year, all the contestants are spending time together, living in one big mansion.  Okay, so CBS has this deal with Showtime Network, a premium channel--I think they are owned by the same company--and when Big Brother is on, Showtime will show the unedited, uncensored stuff on a late night show called Big Brother After Dark.

We need an Idol After Dark.  No joke.  I can imagine Lauren Alaina in the confession room crying because Peepee Tuscany and Naboo Ackbar have been making fun of her the entire time, meanwhile Casey A is so sick of hearing The Soulful Jacob Lusk and his vocal runs that he lays in a hammock and just rants about it to The Straight Adam Lambert, who then runs off and tells The Soulful Jacob Lusk about it, and we get this race war going on, and meanwhile, Stefano Italiano has a thing for Thiamegia, but she's under aged, so there is high drama about what he'll do, and meanwhile again, Ashthon Jones and Deep Voiced Scotty have fallen for each other, and its this crazy subplot about what Scotty will do as a country white boy from the sticks falling for a black chick, sort of like Brokeblack Mountain, and... seriously, WHO WOULDN'T WATCH THIS?  No joke.  I'm in, every single night on Idol After Dark.

I normally fast forward through group night, because its usually crap, but I heard the beginnings of a classic, "Wanna Be Starting Something", so I stayed tuned in.  And I'm glad I did.  Because there is comedy, there is high comedy and then, there is Deep Voiced Scotty sitting with Peepee Tuscany, singing MJ's "Rock With You".  Homeboy Countryboy looks so lost.  They roll into "Jam", MJ's collaboration with Heavy D, and it then gets worse, as Naxema starts with "Man in the Mirror".  Yikes.

Amanda Seyfried

Back from break, what I will not compromise on is the Ford Music Video.  Fast, stinkin' forward.  Seacrusty does a promo for "Red Riding Hood", the yearly movie that the Idols get to go watch together, and we see Amanda Seyfried in the audience.  Hot?  Not?  I dunno.  Its the McGriddle Effect, at least tonight.  Maybe if I were into elves...

...but I am into results!  First, gotta tell ya that Casey A is not here tonight, he's sick and in the hospital... remember he was in the hospital last week with stomach pains, so I'm hoping that is not a recurring thing that will sideline him.  I'm only guessing that he's safe tonight.

Seacrusty is looking for the Bottom Three, and across the stage are the Silver Stools of Failure, all waiting for three butts to sit in them, all waiting for one of those butts to be kicked out of the show. 

First up, The Soulful Jacob Lusk, Stefano Italiano and K-Rod.  Seacrusty talks to each, going over each performance from the night before.  I'm guessing K-Rod will take the first Silver Stool of Failure, sending the other two back, turning The Couch of Anxiety that the others are on into The Couch of Comfort.  And Seacrusty says, "You are all safe..." and as the crowd starts to applaud, and The Soulful Jacob Lusk hugs Stefano Italiano hug each other, hanging K-Rod out to dry, Seacrusty holds his hands up and says, "...except... except... K-Rod.  You are in the Bottom Three.  Head over to The Silver Stools of Failure."

Oh, Seacrusty, you faker!

And now, I will fast forward through the artist that Hurricane Rhett called "the most brilliant gay musician since Justin Bieber", that being The Unambigiuously Gay Adam Lambert... after the song, Seacrusty hugs him, and I'm guessing that when this show is over, he's going to immediately run over and make out with girlfriend Julianne Hough, just to compensate.

Now, Lauren Aliana, Ashthon Jones and Haley Reinhart join him in the center of the stage.  When asked about last night's performance, Lauren tears up and says, "It sucked.  It was bad, it was bad... I'm sorry..."  Of course, Seacrusty says, "I can see you are emotional, so I won't drag this out... unfortunately, darlin'... [by the way, I knew this was coming--d$]... you are going to have to endure the judges next week.  You are safe."  She starts bawling. 

Oh, Seacrusty, you teaser!

This leaves Ashthon Jones and Haley Reinhart.  So, I watch Idol on HDTV, and in that, its an incredible picture.. but sometimes, it doesn't help.  If I had standard def, perish the thought, Ashthon Jones would be quite a looker.  But in HD?  She's got a rough complexion, and might just be a ProActiv spokeschick later.

"Ashthon, you are in the Bottom Three", Seacrusty announces, and then immediately says, "as are you, Haley Reinhart..."  They both look unsuprised, and Haley even says, "Great..." as she walks toward the Silver Stools of Failure.

The Couch of Safety is stunned, and Seacrusty has to even coax them to celebrate... its almost as if they aren't even paying attention.  Hilarious.

So The Silver Stools of Failure contains the behinds of Haley, K-Rod and Ashthon.  But, before we get to the results, we have to fast forward through.. Diddy Dirty Money?  Who?  What?  I know what a Diddy is, but what is a Diddy Dirty Money?  Apparently, its got Puffy Diddy Daddy doing his quasi-rapping thing. 

I'm so out of touch.

Back from break, Seacrusty tells us that K-Rod is here and safe again.  K-Rod heads back to The Couch of Safety.  Boo. 

Boo.

So now, Haley and Ashthon are left.  After the nationwide vote, Ashthon is going home, while Haley is safe.  Now, I say "is" without a finality to that, because there is an outside chance that the judges will give her the Idol Save.  She did this last week, when she "Sang for her life".  But, I don't think the judges are going to save her this early in the finals.  After her Diana Ross song, she's in tears. 

And J-Lo gives her the inevitable truth, that the Save is saved, and Ashthon Jones is headed to her career as a spokeschick for ProActiv.

No word yet on whether she'll be back with Deep Voiced Scotty in Brokeblack Mountain.

The Journey to Magic... Post #700

So, I felt dorky about doing my 700th post with Idol as the subject.  Yes, I do a ton of Idol, because I'm a fan and it comes on twice per week... but for number 700, I thought I'd do something a little better... Walt Disney World.  We had a long vacation, so I wanted to talk a little bit about it.  Hopefully, too much time won't go by that I just forget about the rest of it, cause I got so much to talk about.  Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

The hardest part about any vacation is the return.  I don't necessarily mean the return trip, per se, but the actual "return", like, when you are standing in front of an espresso machine, making drinks, thinking to yourself  "24 hours ago I was on The Haunted Mansion..." and you text The Lovely Steph Leann things like "Hey, did we just go away for 11 days and we are already back, or do we leave this Thursday for 11 days?"

Cause it goes by so doggone fast... we had been planning on leaving for our yearly week long Disney World trip on Thursday, February 3rd, maybe around 3 or 4p, after The Lovely Steph Leann got off of work.  This would put us getting there around 130, maybe 2am Orlando time, if we did leave at 3, and stopped minimally.  Our vacation was for Thursday night, the 3rd, through the following Sunday, the 13th, staying at Port Orleans French Quarter the entire time.  

We love French Quarter because of two main reasons--one, its small.  Seven buildings to be exact, meaning no matter which building they put you in, you are close to the main hall, to the ferry dock that takes you to Downtown Disney, to the bus stops and so on.  Two, double sinks.  Never realized this was such a big deal until we stayed at other resorts, like Pop Century (my other favorite resort, btw), but when The Lovely Steph Leann opens up her bag and she's got fourteen bottles for her hair alone, then you know you need two sinks. 

Riverside is also nice, which is the other part of Port Orleans, but its huge.  There are two or three bus stops alone that go with it, and its just too far to walk from place to place.  So, French Quarter it is. 

At the beginning of vacation week, The Lovely Steph Leann informed me that she would, in fact, be off on Thursday, so we could leave Thursday morning, early, maybe 3 or 4 in the morning, putting us there mid-afternoon or so.  We could relax in the room, maybe get dinner somewhere, then either go out to a park or turn in early, getting sleep and rest to be able to hit Animal Kingdom the next day.   Then, I had the bright idea of... why don't we just leave around 10p Wednesay night?  Drive all night, get there around 7 or 8 in the morning, check in--we've arrived early in the day on several vacations, and our room is always ready, so no big whoop, right?  Right.  Anyway, then we could sleep as long as we wanted, and we'd be there!

At this point, we were both frozen solid,
and I think we both caught asthma from
the insulation.

My only issue is, Starbucks has myself, Melanie and others involved in a community service project, in Ensley, doing Habitat for Humanity.  At the time, I had no idea what we would exactly be doing, so therefore, I had no idea how tired I would exactly be.  The Lovely Steph Leann and I went back and forth on when we should leave, and she finally just leaves it up to me.

Wednesday rolls around, and its time to leave for Ensley, an ethnic, poor, somewhat dangerous part of the Birmingham area, so Melanie, myself and two others drive out there to meet everyone.  Of the several jobs that are offered, she and I take on putting up insulation in one of the framed bedrooms.  Lest I forget to mention, its cold. I mean, really, really cold.  Like in the mid, maybe lower 30s cold, all day.  I'm freezing, she's freezing, we both through working caution to the wind and stand very close to keep warm.  Its butt cold.

Melanie is hilarious because, as tough a manager as she can be sometimes, she's... well, she's a princess sometimes.  Love her dearly, but putting up insulation is not what God had in store for her life plan.  The day wears on, we continue to freeze, we all end up having a meeting later, and finally, the day is over.  And now, even though I've packed most of my clothes, even though most of our stuff is gathered, even though over half of my "do we have ____?  Check!" list is checked off, I still have a ton of errands to run.  You know, those errands that somehow get put off until the last minute, even though you have been planning this trip since, what, October of the previous year?  Yep.

The plan was for me to run such errands, The Lovely Steph Leann to run her own errands, and I'd be starting a nap by, say, 8, maybe 830, I'd get up around 10, maybe 11, and we would be on our way.  As it turns out, I lay down around 945.  Red Robin is packed, all loose ends are tied up, errands are all accomplished, and when I get up, then we just get in the car and go.  Only problem is, when The Lovely Steph Leann wakes me up at 11, I'm like, "Whaaa.... uhhhh... I... uhh..."

She smiles and quietly says, "Hey... if you want to get up, we can.  If you want to sleep, we can do that too.  We can leave whenever you want, its okay."  I groggily nod, and somehow set my alarm for 1am, then pass back out.  The alarm goes off a few hours later, and after a few "snoozes", we finally get up around 120.  Twenty minutes later, with every thing we need stuffed into Red Robin, I reach up and hit the garage door opener.  The rumble begins, and the darkened garage gets slightly brighter as the outside light from the drive comes in.  The door opens, I move the gearshift into D, slightly press the gas and we begin to move.

We are on vacation.

The Journey Is Half the Fun, right?  Right!  Well, I guess it was fun.  It was a 9 and a half hour drive.  We have found that if you travel down Highway 280, pass through Auburn, cut across the corner of Georgia through Columbus, Albany, Ty Ty and others, getting on I-75 in Tifton, then take 75 down to the Florida Turnpike, cut across the 40 miles or so, then take the exit to World Drive... its faster.  I've been through Atlanta (too much construction), and I've taken 231 to I-10 (too far out of the way), and though I didn't believe 280 until we did it a few years back, I believe now.  Take 280.  Easier.

We listened to Inside the Magic podcast's "Ear In Review", a five hour 2010 recap show, most of the way down, pausing it for The Lovely Steph Leann to snooze a bit here and there.  Red Robin drove like a dream, and Sirius Satellite Radio is the most awesome way to listen to the radio, like, ever.  Ever ever. 

The sign everyone wants to see.

We stop in Tifton around 7am (Eastern time) to eat breakfast at Chick-fila, and she snoozes again.  I listen to Stephen King's "Cujo" on audiobook as I drive down 75, and a few hours later, we get on the turnpike.   We make a bathroom stop along the way, then finish the last leg of the journey.  Anyone who has made this trip enough to be familiar with the landmarks can't help but get excited when they make that turn that says "TAMPA", and then they turn off another exit a few miles down the road, take that left and a few minutes later are greeted with a big arch over the road that says "WALT DISNEY WORLD".

**DAVE'S DISNEY TIP**

If you are driving, and especially if you are going to be on the Turnpike, plan ahead.  We had a little bag in Red Robin's console with about 10 one dollar bills and 5 bucks in quarters ready to go, so when we got to the toll booths, there was none of that "looking around for change... honey, you got a buck... we need two more quarters... dang, I guess we will have to give her nickels... make sure you go to the 'gives change' line..."   Have your money ready. 

The Lovely Steph Leann and I are almost beside ourselves... first, we ARE AT DISNEY WORLD!!  Secondly, we are both tired, and I'm exhausted.  I'm sooooo looking forward to laying down on the bed, closing my eyes, snoozing, and waking up... well, whenever.  The Lovely Steph Leann is also tired and will take a nap, but since she hasn't showered in now over 24 hours, she's looking forward to a hot shower where she can wash her hair and put on some fresh clothes.

We follow the familiar road signs through the familiar roads, and come upon Port Orleans French Quarter. I stop at the gate, look at the old man security guard and say, "Checking in!"  The old man at the gate asks for my name, I show him my ID again, and he says, "Don't got know record of your name here checking in."  I stare at him for a second, then said, "Uh... yeah, we are checking in.  I have a reservation number.  We are paid in full."  He looked again and said, "Ah yeah, looks like you already checked in at 10a..."  I smiled and said, "Yeah, we did online check in, and were going to be here by 10...  but we are a little late."  It was 1145a.  The Lovely Steph Leann is getting impatient.  Finally, the old man security guard waves me through, and we drive up to guest parking.

After long last, we arrive, and will be
getting showers and naps and... wait,
what?

"Can you just go in without me?" she says.
"No, what if they want your ID?  Come on.  We are on vacation.  Let's go," I reply.  She sighs, puts on her shoes and opens the door.  I grab the folder with all of our paperwork, we have our pins around our neck, and we walk to the main hall.  Once inside, we are both giddy... we are here!  And I'm going to get to sleep in like, 30 minutes, and she'll get a shower in about 30 minutes and its all good and...

"Your room isn't ready yet," the cast member at the desk tells us.
"Seriously?" I ask
"Yep.  Bad weather kept people here a few days extra.  Its not guaranteed until 3, anyway."
"We know," The Lovely Steph Leann says, and I can tell all the excitement in her voice is gone.  "We usually are able to get right in this time of year."
"I'll give you a call when the room is ready," the cast member says as she hands us our room packet and our new Keys to the World.

We stumble back to Red Robin and get in.  I must tell you that 30 minutes away lives Jason Young, The Lovely Steph Leann's childhood bestie, and lifelong friend.  He is married to The White Jada, and they have two kids present, one on the way.   Every time we come to the area, we have intentions of getting together, and somehow, we aren't able to do so.  Along the trip, The White Jada posts on Facebook telling me that we all need to get together, so The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, "Maybe we call The White Jada, and see if we can come visit.  And get a shower."

Calls to The White Jada were fruitless, however.  I finally said, "Well, why don't you get a bag, put in some fresh clothes, and some makeup and whatever else it is that you chicks use to 'freshen up', and go to the bathroom and do just that--freshen up.  Take your time.  I'll wait in the lobby.  You'll feel better, and afterwards, we can eat, or go to the parks or whatever."  She agrees, and we spend the next few minutes in the back, me moving suitcases around for her to get into them and get what she needs.

She heads to the restroom to freshen up, and I hang in the lobby, hitting the little gift shop and trade some pins.  We've already dropped our luggage off to the bag services guys, and I parked Red Robin by Building 2, which is where our room is supposed to be, and I'm back in the lobby checking on our rooms.  She comes out, looking fresh and refreshed, and we walk around a bit, go to the Sassagoula Food Court and have some overpriced burgers, and she asks me to check on the rooms, while she relaxes on a bench outside.  "Get us a renovated room!" she asks in her "I'm asking but I'm actually telling you nicely" tone. 

Where we were spending the next
ten nights, on vacation!

French Quarter is being renovated building by building, and out of the seven buildings, only Buildings 4, 6 and 7 are finished (I believe they are working Building 5 at the time I'm writing this)  When I get to the front desk and inquire about our rooms, they tell us that the rooms are ready.  I then ask about a renovated room, and the cast member quickly looks and finds us one in Building 7--we just have to return our room keys so they can give us new ones.  And our keys are in Red Robin, which is parked by Building 2... so I tell her to hold that thought, and hustle out, past The Lovely Steph Leann sitting on the bench, chatting away on the phone with her sister, and off to Red Robin.  I grab the keys, and race back, and get new ones... and off to room 7235 we go! 

The renovated rooms are great.  We have two double beds, and the double sinks are now surrounded by lots of counter space, new tiles, new borders around the walls, fresh paint... it just looks great.  Bell services shows up a few minutes later, our bags are unloaded, the guy is tipped and leaves, and the door is closed.

I ask The Lovely Steph Leann if she's going to take a shower, but before I get most of the question out, she's already sprawled out on the bed, buried in her pillow.  I unpack some things, do a few things around the room, and finally, I lay down next to her and both of us are dozing away.

Ah... we are on vacation.

Next: Animal Kingdom Days and Hollywood Nights

The Chicks Have It... And Results! Your Finalists Chosen!!

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE RESULTS SHOW RESULTS

Last night, the Top 12 guys stormed through, and some made themselves front runners (Casey Abrams, The Soulful Jacob Lusk), some killing their chances altogether (JoDo?  That Tim Guy?)... but tonight, the chicks are doing their thing.
Out of the 12 chicks, only five will make the Finals, and perhaps one, perhaps not, will be chosen as a "Wild Card". 

J-Lo?  I'm not usually into Jennifer Lopez, but tonight?   Smokin'. 

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL

These chicks have to move and sing, because they have to be good enough to be one of the five best.   As Uncle Steven Tyler gives us this sentiment, The Lovely Steph Leann tells me, "He's a very... interesting individual."

We see the girls altogether onstage, and amazingly, the Pimp Spot, the final spot, goes to Pizza Tuscrato... Weird.

Alright, kicking things off tonight is TaTa Wilson, and she comes right on out with the soul  Interestingly enough, her name is Ta-Tynisa.  For whatever reason, they added the " - " to her name, because that " - " stuck between the "ta" and the "tynisa" was not there in the earlier rounds. 

Steven loved the song, J-Lo loved the song and Randy the Dawg thought it was just okay. I don't even know what the song was, to be honest.  Rhianna's "Only Girl in the World"?  I dunno.  I'm so out of touch with what's popular right now, cause I'm  to into podcasts and audiobooks. 

Seacrusty says, "She was moving the crowd!" and Randy the Dawg says, "I was the part of the crowd that wasn't moved."  And Seacrusty comes back with, "It takes alot to move you..."

Now its Noxema Agrabshowbow, with her interesting yellow dress that looks like Lady Gaga and a Chinese gown mated.  And she is going brave, because she's doing "Summertime" from Porgy & Bess, which is one of those "untouchable" songs... Fantasia did this song back in Season Two, and though it wasn't something I dug too much, Idol critics declare it one of the top two or three Idol performances ever. 

Gotta say, I'm just not a fan of Nameia.  I don't find her that attractive, I don't find her interesting, and her sound is... well, boring.  She can sing well enough, but she does nothing for me.  And she has Elliott Yamine teeth, before the grill work.

J-Lo loved the song.  Randy the Dawg compares it to Fantasia, like I knew he would, and liked the way she acted it out, but didn't think it was great over all.  Creepy Cool Uncle Steven thinks she sounds like early Ella Fitzgerald.

Before she was selling bathtubs.  Now?  Kendra Chantelle is performing on the Idol stage.  She struts out in black leather that fits really tight and stilletos that are really tall.  She could kill someone with those things.  Kendra is again singing a song I don't know that well, something about "Its Impossible" or whatever.  I do like her though.  Maybe its the leather.

Randy the Dawg said he thought he was worried when Kendra was singing a Christina (Aguilera?) song, and loved it.  Creepy Cool Uncle Steven thought the whole thing was hot. J-Lo thinks Kendra has heart, and that she belongs here.

Back from break, Rachel Zevita has tried and auditioned over and over and over and over (thats four times, by the way).  So now, Ra'Ze has her moment.  She slinks around the mic, tosses off her shawl and is left in a tiny little beaded red and black dress.  Her voice is very sultry, and she is taking on Fiona Apple's "Criminal", and I like it because its her own version.   Seriously, I can't believe I dig this as much as I do.

Wow. Ra'Ze might have almost just won me over.  Steven Tyler thought the song was a bit too Broadway, but loved the moves and style.  J-Lo (who now that I'm looking closer I can take back the "smokin'" remark) wished she could seen something more, and Randy the Dawg didn't like it either. 

Really?  Its one of those "be more original!" and when you are, "we don't like it!" kinda thing.

Karen Rodriguez is this season's Latina Lover.  And The Lovely Steph Leann just groans when K-Rod starts out with "There's a hero..."  The Lovely Steph Leann just moans, "I hate this song."   We both notice that K-Rod is noticing that she is singing Mariah's version, exactly, just throwing some Spanish in the middle. 

And I would prefer Mariah's version.  Yes, K-Rod has the vocals, but the song is boring.   Her mom, who may or may not be legal, is in the audience applauding.   Mom-Rod is excited.

J-Lo ways, "Wow!" over and over.  Randy the Dawg loved it.   Steven Tyler thought it was a great performance, even suggesting that K-Rod and The Soulful Jacob Lusk get together.

Lauren Turner is next.  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "She has a fun voice.  I hope she does something good."  And Lauren Turner is doing a song that, once again, I'm not familiar with.  I gotta start listening to 103.7 The Q more often.   Also not sure that Lauren Turner should be wearing that short of a dress. 

Always makes me wonder if the background singers ever want to break out and do something on their own.  Its obvious they can sing, otherwise how would they land the gig backing up five to ten performances a week? 

The song was interesting.  Randy the Dawg says, "That's how you do it!"  Steven Tyler thinks it was "spectacular".  J-Lo thinks Lauren Turner's voice is "undeniable". 

Ashthon Jones's turn.  I really like this girl, and she starts with... oh, I dunno.  Beyonce?  Alicia?  Rhianna?  Who knows.  Whatever it is, she's tearing it up, giving the song personality, having fun, getting into it, which is awesome.  I dig me some Ashthon.

Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it, saying, "you have all the makings of a diva."  Randy the Dawg liked it quite a bit too.  He didn't love the song, but thought she did a cool job with it.  And its a Monica song, by the way. 

Seacrusty tells us "after the break, some Kelll Clarkson and Alicia Keys!"  This might be awesome.  Or awful.

My fave chick, Julie Zorilla starts with "Breakaway", a song that I could really do without.  Strangely enough, she has one of the more modest, calm outfits of the night.  I tell The Lovely Steph Leann, "I never liked this song much.  And not her version either."  And she says, "I really liked her.  Why oh why did she do this song?"  The camera shows the judges, and she says, "I don't think they liked it either."

Oh, Julie... that was not good.  Not good at all.  And I might be looking for a new favorite chick. 

When the judges ask you "How you doing up there?" its never good.  J-Lo tries to lift her up, saying it was okay.  Randy the Dawg says, "You didn't bring anything different to it, and didn't sing it nearly as good."  Steven Tyler thought the chorus was great, but the song was a bad choice.

Here is Haley Reinhart, doing Alicia Keys' "Fallin".  And for a pasty white chick, she starts strong.  And I'm a little surprised about how good this song sounds from Haley.  Both of us are really liking her performance, and usually, no one can do "Fallin'" correctly.

Randy the Dawg didn't think she did anything new with it.  Steven Tyler disagreed completely, and loved the rasp and sexiness.  J-Lo agrees with Uncle Steven. 

So now, 15 year old Thiamegia has her shot at glory.  And she starts out with... a ballad?  Really?  Can no one sing anything faster?   The Lovely Steph Leann and I have no clue what that song even was, but we both think she did an excellent job at it.

Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg loved it, saying the tone was perfect. 

The teens continue, with 16 year old Lauren Alaina.  And we expect nothing less than something like a Reba McEntire song, and we get Reba's "Turn on the Radio".  By the way, Lauren Turner, this is how a girl with some curves should dress... not a tiny little skirt, but some great jeans and a hot top. 

Love me some Lauren Alaina, even though I wasn't fond of the song.   The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I liked Lauren's version better, to be honest." 

J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg says she has a natural talent, and doesn't think Lauren even realizes how good she it, with a Kelly Clarkson crossed with Carrie Underwood kind of sound (huge compliment).   Steven Tyler loved it.   And when Seacrusty comes up, Lauren Alaina calls him "Peaches". 

And what's this girls name?  Peepee Tuscany?   Either way, she's taking on "I'll Stand By You" from The Pretenders.   And as Pia sings, she moves her arms up and down, and The Lovely Steph Leann is yelling, "Stop moving your arms!  Stop!  It looks like you are swimming!" 

I'm bored.

The Lovely Steph Leann then gives me a lesson in saying, "you know, all these chicks are singing, and I see how they want to do that high note, but if you aren't building to that, then you shouldn't do that note.  You don't want to sing down here, then SING UP HERE ALL OF A SUDDEN!!!!!"   I am amused by her.

The judges freaking love Peepee Tuscany. 

Okay, so my money, here's who I liked, in order... Lauren Alaina... Peepee Tuscany... Haley... Ashthon... Thiamegia... Ra'Ze... Kendra... Lauren Turner... Julie Z... K-Rod... TaTa... Naboo Alahwapopo...

But here's how I think it will shake out... I think Lauren Alaina, Thiamegia and Nameia Adeleoepo are locks.  I think Peepee Tuscany and Ashthon might take those other two spots, but Kendra and Haley are right there too.  I think Ra'Ze and TaTa don't have a chance.  Unsure about K-Rod, and Julie Zorilla might have built up enough credit from her previous awesomeness to get in, or at least be a Wild Card pick. 

Got two meetings Thursday night, so I'll probably just mention the Top Ten and the Wild Card picks as an addition to this posting... check here Friday morning for Semi-Final wrap up thoughts...

THE RESULTS!!!!

So... its the largest cut Idol has ever made on this stage of the competition... and thankfully we have DVR so we can fast forward through all the crap and all the videos and all the other stuff that no one really cares about.  And that the Idols themselves probably don't want to do, but won't say it.

Seacrusty tells us that something like 44 billion people voted last night, and then reminds us this will be an emotional two hour show... The Lovely Steph Leann screams, "TWO HOURS?  WHAT THE CRAP ARE THEY GOING TO DO FOR TWO DOGGONE HOURS???"

Back from break, we see the play-by-play on the guys, and we get a rundown on how they did.  Of course, you as the Clouds reader, know exactly what happened, cause you read it all... and thank you for reading.

So out of the 12 guys and 12 girls, there will be five of each that will be kept.  That leaves 14 people going home... but Randy the Dawg tells us out of those 14, they will determine which of those they will ask to sing for a Wild Card Spot.  We don't know if they have two Wild Cards, or each judge gets one making it three Wild Cards, or they might choose up to three, but they will only choose one if they feel only one deserves it... talk about drama.  Man, I love this stuff.

Nobody wants to go home!  But Seacrusty says, for the first time this season, "Dim the lights!"

First up, Robbie Ro, Robbie Ro's Nose, All 46 of Robbie Ro's teeth and Deep Voiced Scotty come up together, while Seacrusty holds the Card of Fate in his hands.  There is a couch on the side of the stage that those who make it will go sit on... The Couch of Destiny.

America voted... and they decided that Deep Voiced Scotty is in the Top Ten!  He goes off stage and has a seat on The Couch of Destiny. 

Robbie Ro, his nose and the 46 teeth?  They have not made it, and they go to the Stilver Stools of Failure, hoping for a Wild Card Spot. 

Next up is Junbug, JoDo and Jovany the Latin Lover.   Junbug is up first, glaring through his Harry Potter specs.  His lip is twitching, and right after I say, "He looks like he's about to cry!" he starts tearing up a little.  Seacrusty asks JoDo what he would have done differently, and JoDo declares, "Pick another song!"

They get to Jovany the Latin Lover and The Lovely Steph Leann comments, "Dude, not a fan of your facial hair.  The Wolverine Hair doesn't work for me." 

The results?  JoDo and Junbug are not in the Top Ten.  And neither did Jovany the Latin Lover... but now, I can say I WAS RIGHT!  America does not forgive Clint Junbug Gamboa for what he did to Chunky Beiber.  I called it.

And now, we cut to the chicks... Seacrusty walks over, and after some time filling banter and a "how we got here" video, we now Dim the Lights. 

He asks Peepee Tuscany and Lauren Alaina to come centerstage... The Lovely Steph Leann groans, in fear that one of them won't make it.  I remind her that perhaps they will both make it.  After the nationwide vote, Lauren Alaina makes the Top Ten.   Now, its Peepee Tuscany's turn... and she is also in the Top Ten.  They both head to The Couch of Destiny.

So, as happy as the chicks are for Lauren and Peepee, that's two spots gone.  Up next is TaTa Wilson and Julie Z... and both The Lovely Steph Leann and I are guessing that neither one of them will make it.  The results?  TaTa doesn't make it, and she heads back to the Silver Stools of Failure.  Then Julie Z does the same, as she doesn't make it.

After the break... Dim the Lights!  Kendra, Ashthon and K-Rod come down.  Let me tell ya, HD does nothing for Ashthon Jones... I am wondering if she might end up as a ProActiv model.  Just sayin'. 

After the results... Ashthon does not make the Top Ten, and heads back to the Silver Stools of Failure.  Out of the other two, K-Rod makes the Top Ten, Kendra does not.  The Lovely Steph Leann yells, "Suck it!  I don't like her! She's is boring!!!"

Back to the guys... Casey Abrams, The Soulful Jacob Lusk and some guy named Tim are called down by Seacrusty.  After the nationwide vote and 44 billion people, The Soulful Jacob Lusk makes it.  And then begins to fall apart, dance all over stage and claps.  Her-ca-les!  Her-ca-les!

One of the remaining two are in the Top Ten, one is not, and when Seacrusty says this, you can see the look on Tim's (whoever he is) face, and he knows... Casey Abrams heads to The Couch of Destiny.

Back to the chicks, and we see Lauren Turner, Thiamegia and Naboo Adacracpo.  Thiamegia is already crying, and can barely talk when Seacrusty talks to her.  After the vote, only one of them will make it... Nemiaha Alahbobpo doesn't make it.  Lauren Turner doesn't make it.  Thiamegia heads to The Couch of Safety.

Pauly Mac and Brett the Red come down, Pauly Mac wearing a jacket that Porter Waggoner would love.  And he's got really, really white teeth.  One of these guys has made it into the Top Ten... and that person is... Pauly Mac!  Whew... I really am annoyed by Brett the Red, and he heads to the Silver Stools of Failure. 

Seacrusty is on a roll!  He calls for Haley Reinhart and Ra'Ze, and with one spot left, I'm pretty doggone sure that Haley is headed to the Top Ten, and Ra'Ze is going home.  Was I right?  Yup.  Haley Reinhart gets that final spot on The Couch of Destiny, while Rachel Zevita joins the other losers on The Silver Stools of Failure.

And finally... The Straight Adam Lambert and Stefano Italiano are left, and again, I'm guessing that James Durbin makes it.  One spot left in the Top Ten for the guys, and after the vote, The Straight Adam Lambert takes his seat on The Couch of Destiny. 

So now, we have our Top Ten.  Haley, Pauly Mac, The Soulful Jacob Lusk, The Straight Adam Lambert, K-Rod, Thiamegia, Casey, Deep Voiced Scotty, Peepee Tuscany and Lauren Alaina. 

Now, its the Wild Card Competition.  Seven chicks and seven guys, and the judges will pick just a few to sing again, singing for their lives.  J-Lo, Randy the Dawg and Steven Tyler will then choose who they want.  Only six will get to sing, three guys and three girls... so even though everyone practiced their song with a band earlier today, Seacrusty points out that not everyone left will even get a chance at this.

Ashthon Jones is asked to sing, and she has chosen "And I Am Telling You That I Am Not Going"...  and the diva voice comes out strong, and she wails it out.   Creepy Cool Uncle Steven says she brought it, J-Lo says she felt the passion and Randy the Dawg loves the attitude.

Next up, Stefano Italiano is called upon to sing.  He sings, "I Need You Now" by who I think is Smokey Norfull, but I immediately thought of Sherriff's, "I need you noooooow... more than words can say, I need you noooooow.... I gotta find a waaaaay..."  (or was that Alias?)

Whattever the song is, it sounded great.  Randy the Dawg thought it was a great song, J-Lo is shaking and Steven Tyler says he guilded the lily of his own passion.  I don't even know what that means but I love it.  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I think Steven Tyler has a little Paula Abdul in him..."

Kendra Chantelle is asked to sing, and The Lovely Steph Leann is excited--she wanted Kendra over K-Rod, and so did I.  Tonight, Kendra is doing "Georgia on My Mind."  And she sounds fabulous.   Randy the Dawg says, "Very nice!" and I guess we are running behind because Steven Tyler and J-Lo don't even comment.

Jovany the Latin Lover is asked to sing again, and he sings Jon Secada's "Angel."  And like K-Rod the night before, he uses the Spanish on part of the verse.  I guess he figures if it worked for her, maybe it will get him through.  The Lovely Steph Leann wanted Robbie Ro to get another shot, not Jovany the Latin Lover.  J-Lo says it was a good job, and "you did all you could do."

And the final chick gets called, that being Nemiana Agrabah, which means Lauren Turner, Julie Z, Ra'Ze and TaTa Wilson are done and go home.  Julie Z!  You blew it last night.  You blew it, and that forces me to have to come up with more ways to spell Noxema Argrabao, who is singing "For All We Know" by Donnie Hathaway.  Not a fan.  Not.  At.  All.   She even cries at the end of the song, and I yell, "Faker!  Just to get sympathy!  Faker!"   Steven Tyler loved it.

Now, back to the boys, the last chance is taken by Robbie Ro... which means Brett the Redd, Tim Whathisname, JoDo and Clint Junbug get canned and go home. 

Idol lesson... NEVER KICK SOMEONE OUT OF YOUR GROUP, especially as cute and lovable as Chunky Beiber.

Robbie Ro is singing, "Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Word" by Elton John, and The Lovely Steph Leann is so pleased, as she loves this kid.  And the song sounds great.  The camera cuts to the Couch of Destiny, and several of the girls are crying. 

Out of the six "Save Yourself" performances, my choices are:  Kendra... Robbie Ro.. Stefano Italiano... Ashthon... Jovany the Latin Lover... Nevertheless Armachango.

They all come back onstage, and Seacrusty asked for the decision by the judges.  J-Lo tells him they are not ready yet, saying, "I know we are on live television, but we need a few more minutes."  Seacrusty cuts to J-Lo's new video, "On the Floor", and through the magic of DVR, we totally fast forward.

And 11 seconds later, back to the decision.  The judges have made their verdict.  And the verdict is...

...Randy the Dawg reveals that Ashthon Jones gets another shot.  J-Lo says there are two more, and Stefano Italiano is the next one chosen.  Finally, Steven Tyler says the final person is Neemabeema Alargargo gets the final spot... and I knew it.  Kendra, Robbie Ro and Jovany the Latin Lover say goodbye. 

The Lovely Steph Leann kicks the couch.  She's unhappy. 

The Road To the Finals Begins

Its the dudes!  Its the guys!  Its the Top 12 Guys, chosen by 3 industry icons, gone through grueling auditions one after the other, and now Seacrusty tells us, "Its all up to you (me?!)... only FIVE make it through to the American Idols Finals!"

THIS

IS AMERICAN

IIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

So, I guess with only five guys, and I'm assuming five girls, making it through, there will probably be 2 wild card additions from the judges or some other method.  Tomorrow the girls sing, and on Thursday, they announce those Top Five dudes and chicks.

Then, as Seacrusty tells us, the judges will add their own Wild Card picks... which might even mean a Top 13 for the Finals.  You follow? 

The Lovely Steph Leann comments on the fact that Steven Tyler is wearing a silky shirt with lips all over it.  No, seriously, the pattern is a pic of a pair of what looks like woman's lips, and its all over the shirt. I'd wear that shirt.

And in the lineup, Seacrusty announces the boys, and it looks like Casey Abrams has the Pimp Spot, that being the final spot, and its good because when you start voting, you have that Pimp Spot performance fresh in your memory.

Clint Junbug is up first, though, singing some Stevie Wonder.  Seacrusty tells us that they can pick whatever song they choose to sing this week.  "Superstition" is what is being hollered at us right now, though.  Not bad, though his Harry Potter glasses kind of annoy men.

Uncle Steven says it was brilliant.  J-Lo loved how Junbug "got it out tonight!".  Randy the Dawg loved it too. 

Here is Jovany the Latin Lover, who showed his abs to J-Lo in an early show, and with the music coming, I can tell what he's doing... "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain.   Jovany the Latin Lover sounds pretty good, but its just... well, boring.  Not a fan of Junbug, but at least he showed flair and pizzazz on stage.  Did I just use Pizzazz? 

Uncle Steven Tyler yells out, "Holy Shipyard!" (a reference to the shipyards that Jovany the Latin Lover worked in).  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg says what we are thinking... and this is where Randy the Dawg's experience on Idol comes in, by saying, "It was just okay.  Very karaoke."

Jordon Dorsey is next.  JoDo turns his song into a performance, by singing and tossing off his jacket--The Lovely Steph Leann yells, "Wait a minute!  This isn't Strip Idol!"  I've heard this song but I can't remember the name, or anything other than it samples "Love You Down" by The Surface from the late 80s.  Wait... wait... Usher's "OMG"...

JoDo gets a little crazy onstage... Uncle Steven says, "It wasn't my favorite performance from you." J-Lo didn't like it either, calling him the soft R&B guy who didn't show his self tonight.  Randy the Dawg tells JoDo what he told Jovany the Latin Lover... if you are going to sing a cover, you need to bring something new to the song.   JoDo said, "Its not me, it wasn't me," which makes me say, "Dude?!  You have your choice of any song!  Why didn't you pick the song that IS you?"

Now, let's meet Tim Halperin, which might be the first time for many people, because we barely saw this guy in the 35 episodes leading up to this show.  I don't even have a nickname for the guy yet.  He's got a very Michael Buble-esque type of voice.  He's singing "Come On Over", and though I'm not a huge fan of the song, even the original, I do like his voice.  But I think Tim Halperin is going to get lost in the shuffle of the Idol names that we all know by now, and will be a victim of Idol's editing process. 

But I liked it.   Uncle Steven said, "I don't know if that song did you any justice..."  J-Lo didn't care for the song choice, even though she thought he did a good job on the song.  Randy the Dawg thought Tim Halperin has been better.

Brett the Red has The Lovely Steph Leann as a fan.  I personally think he's a little flaky for my tastes.  And what does he choose to do?  "Light My Fire" by The Doors.  Seriously?  He's dressed in a funky colored vest and has about eight necklaces and pendants draped around his neck. 

Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg thought the vocals were iffy, but liked the boldness and fun of his performance.  I thought it was flaky.

So, my thoughts so far?  You are in a pool of 11 other guys.  You have one single shot, a span of about three minutes, to make five spots.  You have been given the choice to sing just about any song you want--within reason, it is all what Idol has rights too, but after nine seasons, I'm guessing they have the rights to hundreds and hundreds, maybe thousands of songs as artists have opened up their own catalogs.  So pick whatever song you can do the best.  Pick whatever song that you can sing the best, and can have the most fun in. 

Seriously. I should be an Idol mentor.  No, I can't sing worth a poopy, but I can tell them what works and what doesn't. 

Now its time for James "The Straight Adam Lambert" Durbin.   I'm still trying to figure out why The Straight Adam Lambert wears a tail.  Like, a piece of fabric or something hanging from the back of his jeans.   He is singing "You Got Another Think Coming"... I guess that is what the song is.  You can also call it "Song That Will Let James Wail".   The song ends, and the audience erupts. 

Uncle Stevie says it was crazy good, and identifies the song as "the first Judas Priest song ever on the show".  J-Lo  thought he was so natural and so great.  Randy the Dawg said, "This is how you do it!  Right here!  Right here!  Everybody over there (pointing to the other guys) that's how you do it!" 

The Straight Adam Lambert plays up to the audience with Seacrusty, and almost punches his ticket into the Top 12.

And now is one of The Lovely Steph Leann's favorites, Robbie Rosen, though I'm wondering if he gets a spot, and his nose gets another.  Maybe his nose will be a Wild Card selection.  Oh come on, you were thinking it.

So, I am thrust into boredom immediately as he starts with, "...spend all your time waiting... for that second chance..."  Don't get me wrong.  I love love lurve Sarah McLachlan, she's one of my Top Ten Favorite Artists of All Time, Like, Ever, but "Angel" is a song that I just can't stand.  Its not even that I can't stand it, its that I'm apathetic towards it.   I'm typing all this so as not to fall asleep as Robbie Ro finishes. 

Uncle Stevie thought the ballad was beautiful.  J-Lo thought Robbie Ro told a story just then.  Randy the Dawg thought it wasn't a good performance, and pitchy, and didn't look like Robbie Ro was comfortable.

Deep Voiced Scotty is singing now, and for a second, I kinda wondered if we'd hear, "Baby lock them doors and turn the lights down low..."  We don't.  We hear, instead, a soft country tune that I don't know, but I think its called "A Letter From Home."

I know America won't completely agree with me, but I really like this guy's voice.  I don't know how far he'll make it on Idol, but I can really see country radio snatching this guy up and giving him a record deal.  His voice was made for Country Radio.

Uncle Stevie said it was the perfect song for The Deep Voiced Scotty, and it was great.  J-Lo said he was born to sing country music.  Randy the Dawg thought it was so great that he's a throwback country song, and not trying to be a cross over or anything. 

Up now, its Stefano Italiano, who was told in auditions by J-Lo, "your hot, I love you."  Can't beat that.  He starts out with "Just the Way You Are", the one by Bruno Mars, and to me, it was a great song and a great fit. 

Uncle Stevie thought it was great.  J-Lo thought it was consistantly great.   Randy the Dawg says, "you had us all up here thinking we were at a concert for you!"  I agree, it sounded great. 

Now, like Tim Halperin, its another guy who we don't know much about... Pauly McDonald is doing "Maggie May", and he's got this unique voice.   And... I can't decide if I love it or hate it... The Lovely Steph Leann thinks he sounds a ton like Rod Stewart.  Pauly Mac is wriggling and shaking all over the stage, and the song is growing on me.  I love the original, by the way, so I think it just caught me so off guard...  he's like a more talented Taylor Hicks.

Uncle Stevie thought the performance was great.  J-Lo says it was full of character, and loves the smile.  Randy the Dawg loved the "Maggie May" performance, and thinks that Pauly Mac is different than anything they've had, and he loves that about Pauly Mac.  I think that was my favorite performance of the night thusfar.

And here's the Jacob Lusk... the Soulful Jacob Lusk.  Her-ca-les, Her-ca-les!! 

He's dressed to the nines, in suit and tie, and singing "A House is Not a Home", and really... this guy is so talented.   I think I've mentioned this before, but I don't know that I would buy an album from The Soulful Jacob Lusk, but I could easily pick up a song on iTunes from him that I liked.  Anyone who takes on Luther and lives is worthy of praise.

You know he's good when The Lovely Steph Leann points out how good he is, and why.

Best performance of the entire night.

Uncle Stevie thought it was unbelievable, and loved it.  J-Lo says, "Luther is gone, but you are here."  And Randy the Dawg says, "I think Luther would be so proud."  That's the late Luther Vandross, one of the heavyweights of vocals.

And finally, its Casey at the Bat, heading in the Pimp Slot.  Not only did he get the Pimp, he got the Pimp Solo spot... as in, after #11 (The Soulful Jacob Lusk sang) they went to break, then came back to #12, Casey Abrams.

He busts out with "I Put a Spell On You", and right outta the gate, he's owning it.  I was wondering how he'd do without his big bass, but he's doing just fine.  Fantastic even.  And like I thought before the show even started, he is giving the new best peformance of the night, with a James Durbin wail of his own. 

The Lovely Steph Leann nods her head, gives a thumbs up to the TV and simply says, "Mmm hmm."

Uncle Stevie says it was out of his mind crazy good.  J-Lo says, "Your sexy, Casey", to which Casey yells "YES!"  J-Lo channels her inner Paula Abdul by saying, "You just ate it up!" then makes slurping sounds and waves her arms around.  Randy the Dawg said, "As good as it gets." 

So, there are your Top 12 Dudes.

Here is how I rank the guys, for me personally... Casey Abrams... The Soulful Jacob Lusk... Pauly Mac... The Deep Voiced Scotty... Stefano Italiano... The Straight Adam Lambert.... Junbug... Tim Halperin... Robbie Ro... Jovany the Latin Lover... Brett the Redd... JoDo

Now, I think locks to make it to the Top Five are Casey Abrams, The Soulful Jacob Lusk and The Straight Adam Lambert.   I think that Pauly Mac really made a strong case tonight, as did Deep Voiced Scotty.   However, I have a feeling that Junbug will make it, either by this show or as a wild card.  Tim Halperin, JoDo, Jovany the Latin Lover are out, and I don't know that Brett the Red, Robbie Ro or Stefano Italiano will make it, based on tonight.

Check back here tomorrow night for The Chicks!