Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The Best Songs of the 2000s (Part I)

Hey!  Remember me?!  Of course you do!  Heck, I've gained about twenty followers on Facebook since I haven't blogged in a few weeks, so perhaps in order to get to 300 or something, I should never blog again!  But what fun would that be?

So, this is #800.  I had started writing something a bit special, something a little personal, a story I've audibly told to a few people--and a church congregation--but hadn't written, and I thought "wow, for this blogging milestone of mine own, perhaps I should do something such as this..."  And having to write it a bit at a time, its just not getting done.  It might be December before I get this done... and today, I just want to be a little funny.  I'll try, anyway.

A few months back, and by a "few months back", I mean September of 2010, I blogged about a Vh1 countdown on the Greatest Songs of the 90s... Part One is here... and Part Two is here.

Well, flipping the channels one day, looking at the grid on DishNetwork, and see on Vh1 that "The Greatest 100 Songs of the 2000s" is on.  All five hours of it, all five parts, from 100 to the best song of the years 2000 to 2009...

Now, when watching this show, you must understand, I haven't seen this show at all.  So, as I list each song and talk about each one, I'm discovering it for the first time on this countdown.

Without further Gerard Depardeau, let's get this thing going...

#100... "The Thong Song" by Sisquo
This might be one of the dumbest songs I've ever heard.  Like, I enjoy some crappy music... but Sisqo isn't just having fun, he's pouring passion into his lyrics.  About a thong.   A major one hit wonder.  One of the best undie songs, I guess.

#99... "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood
THIS is the "You Oughta Know" of this decade.  Carrie ain't playing, as she dug the keys into the side of the purty little souped up four wheel drive, got her name in his leather seats, took a Louisville Slugger to the headlights, there are now holes in ALL four tires, and perhaps, just maybe, he'll think about it before he cheats... but he ain't cheatin' on her.  She ain't giving him the chance.

The Lovely Steph Leann loves this song.  A little too much, methinks.

#98... "Kryptonite" by Three Doors Down (2000)
Dude!  I freakin' love this song!  I don't really know exactly what it really means, but this song rules.  Three Doors Down is kind of like Nickleback's tribute band... or maybe Nickelback is Three Doors Down's tribute band?  I dunno.

But, I do have a question...

If I go crazy, will you STILL call me Superman?

#97... "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy, feat. Rik Ross (2000)
The entire appeal of this song is Shaggy and his ridiculous voice.  The moral of this song is, she saw you with that chick, she has the evidence to prove it, and Shaggy just replies "It wasn't me..."  Seriously.  Honestly, I can't really tell you what Shaggy even says, be it here ,or that crazy "Boombastic" song.

#96... "Don't Cha" by The Pussycat Dolls feat. Busta Rhymes (2006)
I'll take the Spice over the Pussycat any day.
Ladies and gentlemen, the 2000s version of The Spice Girls, I give you the Pussycat Dolls!  Whether you think they are attractive or not is irrelevant... they think know they are, and they not only want you to know it, but your chick too.  Don't cha wish your chick was a bra-wearing slut with all sorts of venereal diseases hot like me, don't cha?

You know what?

The Spice Girls > The Pussycat Dolls.

There, I said it.

#95... "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt (2005)
Holy crap was this song annoying.  I mean, can you be a man and still be as whipped as Jimmy Blunt comes across being?  Seriously.  And EVERY girl I knew loved this song, and no wonder, the entire four minutes is nothing but him telling her how good looking she is.  Sheesh.  Its like, they are all saying, "I wish my man would sing this to me."  I feel like the song is a 3 minute theme to The Hallmark Channel. Next.

And James Blunt even says that the song is a sad one, about heartbreak and crap... which makes me happy.  Ha!

Erin the Marine Wife... this one is for you.
#94... "Its Not Over" by Daughtry (2006)
Dude, Chris Daughtry is kinda cool... and just about EVERY woman I know loves them some Daughtry, especially Erin the Marine Wife.  Holy crap does she love her some C-Dah...

This is a pretty good song, and truly, he's kinda easy to like.  And probably the most successful non-winner of American Idol, Jennifer Hudson's Oscar aside, Chris Daughtry has this cool voice that sounds like, if Scott Stapp from Creed and Chad Kroeger from Nickelback hooked up and somehow fathered a child, with some Three Doors Down lead singer guy thrown in there, it would be Chris Daughtry.  Just sayin'.

Seriously, though... is this the 94th best song of the decade?

#93... "Here It Goes Again" by OKGo (2006)
Alright... this speaks to this indy/emo/non-radio kind of bands that became huge in the last ten years, getting fame not from Spinderella kickin' it up one time (that's Disc Jockeys who used to play the songs on the airwaves, to help you young folk with your new fangledy Spotify and Pandora and crap) but rather through digital media, YouTube, websites and so on.  Bands like OKGo, Panic! at the Disco, TV on the Radio, and even artists like Jack Johnson, and such.

I'll be honest with ya... you could toss out ten songs and say, "Nine of these are OKGo and one is Panic! at the Disco, pick the Panic! song" and I'd probably fail miserably.  They all sound alike.

And I'll go on record and say the ONLY reason this song is on this list is because of that dancing treadmill routine in the video.  Very cool routine, song is not memorable.

#92... "Low" by Flo Rida feat. T-Pain (2007)
While I don't have much to say about this song, I like how this one guy on the show discussing this song is wearing a shirt that says, "Negroes On Ice".  Yes, he's black.  But I'm not sure that anyone but a black dude could wear that shirt.

This song was featured in "Tropic Thunder" when Les Grossman (Tom Cruise) was welcoming us to "The Goody Room."

#91... "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed (2007)

No one likes this song.  Stop nodding.  You don't like it either.

If I'm sitting on a hilltop, stretching my arms and singing about Campbell Isaiah, you freakin' punch me in the face, because I'll deserve it.

Oh.  So that's a Mystikal.  Hm.
#90... "Shake Ya A**" by Mystikal (2000)
Wait.. what?

What the heck is a Mystikal?

How did this rank above "Its Not Over" by Daughtry?  This might be the worst song I've heard since #91.

Funnily enough, I looked up the Mystik Man himself on Wiki, and read about his brief career, his feuds with other rappers, and his prison time for extortion and sexual assault of his hair stylist, among other things.

Then I read where, upon release from prison, he talked about how all success he had seemed like a dream, and how he now wants to come back... then he says, "...but now watch how I shake things up -- I want reparations."  Really?  Your forced yourself upon your hairstylist and YOU think you are owed payment?  Really?  What an idiot.

Were I rapper, I think I'd have to find myself a feud to make a name for myself.  I'd probably try to stir some crap up with rappers I know I could out-dis, like Ja Rule, Common and maybe Will Smith, who just seems too nice.  I'd dis them in my rap songs titled, "Ja Rule Ain't No Gangsta" and "Common is a Homo N****".  But I'd stay away from anything having to do with Suge Knight, because I don't want to get shot.  Or eaten.

Let's move on.

#89... "Paper Planes" by M.I.A. (2007)
How old am I?  I've never even heard of this song... what is an M.I.A.?  Is she related to Mystikal?

This makes me fearful that I'm going to hear Ke$ha somewhere on this list, which might shoot the credibility of this entire countdown in the foot.

This is a horrible song!  This is the worst song I've heard since #90... and #91!

#88... "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne (2003)
Now THIS is a memorable song.  When you meet someone named Stacy... or Tracy... or Lacy... or Gracie... or any other "acy" name, don't tell me that " has got it going on..." doesn't pop into that head.

I don't know if it works this way in bigger cities, but in small towns it seems like there is one mom that all the guys--from about age 12 to 15--are like, "dude... Mrs. (insert Mom name here) is so pretty!" or "hot!" or "awesome".  Yes, there was one in Samson too.  And my buddies and I, all 13 years old, all thought she was gorgeous.  Her son was/is a good guy, but I always felt bad for him with the whole, "Dude, stop looking at my mom!" thing.

#87... "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by The Darkness (2003)
This song frakkin' rules.  Its a complete homage and/or parody of all that crazy hair metal from the late 80s... channeling Slaughter and Winger and Warrant and early Poison and Damn Yankees and all that crap, I feel like this song brought a Hair Band Education to the kids of today.  My brother in law Tyler so dug this song.

And the video, with the Freddie Mercury falsetto rocking out, is awesome.

#86... "Jaded" by Aerosmith (2000)
Hey, look, its Aerosmith with a song that sounds like a ton of their other songs!  Probably one of my least favorite Aerosmith songs.  Try "Love in an Elevator".  Much better.

#85... "I Try" by Macy Gray (2000)
I don't even know what to say about this song.  I mean... it sucks.  It just does.  Toss it in the Mystikal pile.  Wait... Macy Gray... isn't her career... M.I.A.?  Ha!  See what I did there?

#84... "In the End" by Linkin Park (2004)
This is a great driving song.  I love how they got the rap going on with the rock... "I try so haaaaard... and got so faaaar... in the end, it doesn't even maaaaatter...."

I really dig this tune... not much of their other stuff, but this one is cool.  Probably one of my 500 favorite songs of all time... wait... I don't own this song?  What?  What the...?

(click over to iTunes... type "Linki" and "Linkin Park" comes up.  Click on "Linkin Park".  Scroll and see "In the End" for $1.29.  Purchase.  Done.)  

Yes I love technology... but not as much as you, you see... yes, I love technology... now and forever...

#83... "Untitled (how does it feel)" by D'Angelo (2000)
So, like, D'Angelo is this one hit wonder from the cusp of the decade that sang this sensual, sexy, somewhat kinda silly song, all R&B and such, nothing you haven't heard from Ralph Tresvant or Johnny Gill or the like.  I'm not saying its a bad song, but its not anything revolutionary.

It was the video, however, that gives this song its popularity.  D'Angelo is cut and chiseled to body perfection, and he shows it off.  All of it.  The video just him singing, black background contrasting his dark skin, and he's pretty much nekkid.  And chicks went crazy over this.  And the dudes were like, "Dude, man, put a freakin' shirt on at least.  Put some pants on, for the love!"

I would imagine if D'Angelo had actually sung "You're Beautiful" while doing this same video, women worldwide would have spontaneously combusted.

#82... "Unwell" by matchboxtwenty (2003)
Perhaps its just my soft-rock preference, perhaps its just that I like a good singer/song writer, perhaps I just enjoy a guitar, a band and a good voice like Rob Thomas has... either way, I dig this tune.

Go back to the Greatest Songs of the 90s, and at #48 is one of my all time favorite, Top 25 songs ever, "3am"... "Unwell" isn't as good as that one, though this is singable, its meaningful and the opening with the banjo is great.

By the way, do you remember when they went from Matchbox 20 to matchbox twenty?   They weren't crazy, they were just a little unwell.  I know, right now, you can't tell.

(in leading to commercial, Vh1 just informed me, during a segment about 2000s artists wearing fedoras, that Ne-Yo has made at least 12 music videos with fedoras in them.  That means that he has done over 12 videos, just a dozen of them have fedoras.  My point is... when did Ne-Yo put out 12 singles?")

#81... "The Rising" by Bruce Springsteen (2002)
See, this is hard because this song came out after, and partly because of, 9/11.  As an homage to the NYFD, its an emotional, powerful song that to me, is a pretty good song, but mostly because of its origins.  However, I must say that the dude from OKGo just tried to tell me that "It was the first musical response to 9/11..." and I say, "Bullcorn to that poppycock..."  I would give that crown to Alan Jackson and his version of "Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning", a much better song.  Dubya Rulz!  Obama's a foolz!

#80... "Get Low" by Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz feat. Ying Yang Twins
When your artist name is six times as long as the song you are singing, it might be time to drop a few ampersands and feature tags.  Just saying.

Didn't Flo Rida already do this song?  Wait, that was "Low"... so this song is helped the birth of Crunk, I guess.  And I think this might be the song that Sandra Bullock was shaking her Mystikal too in "The Proposal" around the fireplace... maybe?


#79... "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias (2001)
This song sucks.  Got nothing else to say.

The video had Mickey Rourke in it, and he kills Enrique in it, so the video has some redeeming qualities.  And it has Jennifer Love Hewitt.   So, when the video comes on, just hit mute.

#78... "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's (2006)
This proves the power of a dude and his guitar.  What a great, great song.  Its catchy, its soft and its fun to sing.

I always thought if Factor 7 would have hit it big, it would have been with a song like this, with Drew Morris plucking a guitar and Brad Latta softly singing.

#77... "This Is How You Remind Me" by Nickelback (2001)
Remember the days before Nickelback became a punchline?  Back when all their songs didn't sound so much alike, because you only had a few songs to compare?  And how crappy do you feel if you are Nickelback and over 50,000 people sign a petition to keep you from singing at an NFL Game halftime show?

Poor Nickelback.


(bom bom)


(bom bom)


Say what you want, this song rocks.

#76... "Live Your Life" by T.I. feat. Rihanna
Okay, I'll admit it... this song is kinda fun.  Sorta.  Though it makes me think about "The Hangover", in which is was prominently.

Speaking of Mystikal, back to the stupid name thing, I don't have a problem with T.I.... its the fact he has an alter ego named T.I.P.  What does that even mean?  And T.I. and T.I.P., being the same person, are different that T-Pain, right?  I should get my gangstas straight.

#75... "I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin DeGraw (2004)
Let me tell ya, in 2004, this song was EEEEEEVVVVVEERRRRYYWWWHHHEEEERRRREEE.... you could not turn around without hearing this song.  Every other American Idol contestant sang this song, and I kept expecting Ryan Seacrest to tell us, "And next week, its "I Don't Wanna Be" week, where EVERY remaining Idol will sing this song.  Twice!"

I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately.  Uh... me too?  Me either?  I dunno how to answer that.

Much, much better.  
#74... "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire feat. Krayzie Bone (2006)
I'll be transparent and say that I cannot, for the life of me, hear this song and not only think about, but replace lyrics with, the song "White and Nerdy" by Weird Al, picturing Donny Osmond dancing in the background, Judy Tenuta on the couch and Seth Green showing off his Star Wars figures.

If there is any justice in this world, "White and Nerdy" would be on this list somewhere.

Oh, and shout out to Krayzie Bone, from Bone Thugs N Harmony, representin'... boo ya.  Or something.

#73... "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland
Dude, early Nelly Furtado, that "Fly Like a Bird" and "Follow Me Down" junk--hated it.  It was horrible.  However, Nelly Furtado 2.0 with "Say It Right" and this song... okay, basically anything where Timbaland is involved... I freakin' love me some Nelly Furtado 2.0.

This song Rules with a Capital R.  I think of OKGo joined with Timbaland, I'd listen.  Especially if Nelly Furtado was singing lead.  Love me some Furtado.

#72... Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet (2003)
Awesome song.  Just crazy, funny rock and roll, stupid lyrics, gangly band, and all kinds of a party going on.  This was an awesome driving song.  Makes me want to shake my head around to and fro... well, not while driving, mind you.

(just realized I didn't have this song in my music library... so naturally, I went to iTunes and paid the 69 cents... but along the way, I made an important discovery.  Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band now has ALL their major hits available.  This is a big deal because "Rock & Roll Never Forgets" was not available--until now.  And so not only did I pick up a great little rock tune from 2003, I picked up one of the all time classic driving songs ever.  I rule)

#71... "Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat (2007)
Gotta say, I love me some Colbie Caillat.  Like, she makes my life better.  And this song started it all.  She's so darn cute, and she's got this incredible coffee house voice...

And her CDs only get better and better.  Colbie is so great... and did you know she auditioned for American Idol, WITH THIS SONG, and didn't make it!  So, she used MySpace, back when anyone actually used MySpace.  Love love love this song.

#70... "Run It!" by Chris Brown feat. Juelz Santana
Can't beat Chris Brown.  Just ask Rihanna.  Ha!  (too soon?)

Oh, the song?  Eh.  I'm not entirely convinced that he and Ne-Yo aren't actually the same person, kind of like a T.I./T.I.P. thing.

#69... "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence (2003)
This is a very good song, though it suffered greatly from the "overplay" that happens when great song becomes a very popular great song and radio stations feel the need to play the absolute crap out of it.  I think its a reflection of how short our attention span is--and how we listen to the radio for about, oh, three minutes, so they have to play the popular songs over and over to keep you listening...

So you had this awesome chick singing and this dude rapping and this chick turns around and starts belting out the melodrama, and its just so cool.

#68... "Stand Up" by Ludacris feat. Shawnna (2003)
Holy crap do I love this song.  Don't get me wrong, I like Luda, but I'll admit he's very, very dirty sometimes, and I don't listen to his filthy stuff... but talk about a party anthem?  And that video is freakin' awesome... midgets... chicks eating fried chicken... babies peeing... big afros... and boy does Luda love him some fried chicken and thick women.

#67... "Bleedin' Love" by Leona Lewis (2007)
If music could be a contagious disease, this song would be an epidemic.  Now, that's not to say its bad, but its catchy and it spreads and its AWESOME.  She'll never have another hit like this--this is what she'll forever be known for.  And that's not a bad thing.

Keep bleedin', keep keep bleedin' love... you cut me open and I... (its in your head now, ain't it?  It should be)

#66... "Drop It Likes It Hot" by Snoop Dogg feat. Pharrell (2004)
Catch phrase alert!  Catch phrase alert!

Its like Snoop comes into relevance about every five years with some stupid song that sucks you in and makes you repeat it over and over, then he disappears, then comes back in another five years.  Snoop is a legend.

I feel like Pharrell is a cheaper version of Timbaland.  Get in the welfare line, get your buttah, your cheez, and your rap producer.

#65... "Try Again" by Aaliyah (2000)
More Timbaland!  So, even though I don't know a lot of her music, I dig Aaliyah.  Perhaps it was her Oscar nominated turn in "Romeo Must Die", one of my 250 favorite movies of all time.  No, seriously, I love the crap out of that movie.

RIP Aaliyah.

#64... "I'm Real (murder remix)" by Jennifer Lopez feat. Ja Rule
What in the world happened to Ja Rule?  Wasn't he supposed to be huge?  I feel like that Ja Rule and Mystikal are hanging at a crib somewhere.  And T.I. will join them in the "No Career Anymo'" support group.

This song is kinda fun, but annoying after a while.  Kinda like Jennifer Lopez, who, for my money was at her peak with "Waiting for Tonight" from the album "On the 6".  After that, not so much.

And by the way, should I be disturbed that there is a version of "I'm Real", then there is a remix of "I'm Real" called "The Murder Remix?"  Just curious.

#63... "Party Hard" by Andrew WK (2001)
Who the...

What the heck is...

I mean, I've never heard this song... I've never heard OF this song...

Maybe I'm just old.  The Lovely Steph Leann has joined me in this viewing, and is staring blankly at the television.  She shrugs, says, "Geez..." and turns back to her Nook.

Who is Andrew WK?  Is he related to Louis CK?

#62... "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne
So, I'm not actually equipped to enjoy this song properly.  (A) I'm not a chick... (B) I'm not an 11 year old chick... (C) I don't go to the mall... (D) I don't live in the rough suburbs of Canada...

And I feel like Avril peaked here.  She kinda took herself too seriously after this, and tried to hard to be a "real artist".  It is kinda catchy, though.

#61... "Milkshake" by Kelis (2003)
Holy crap does this song suck.  I mean, like, hard.

However comma

I have been known to drop the line, "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..." for no apparent reason.

But this song does still suck.

#60... "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha (2009)
Speaking of suck...

Someone told me the other day there was something they liked about Ke$ha... I asked, "What?" and they replied, "She knows she's not very good, but she just does her thing anyway."

Okay, you know what... I kinda like this song.  And I hate hate HATE myself for saying that.  Forget I said that.

(for the record... I just bought the song on iTunes.  I don't even know myself anymore)

#59... "Cry Me a River" by Justin Timberlake (2002)
This song is dadgum awesome... not just the song is cool, but because Timberlake is giving the middle finger straight up to Britney Spears.  I mean, like, "Suck it, ho" with this song... even the video portrays the whole scenario between him and BritBrit, and how it all went bad.

The Lovely Steph Leann just got all philosophical and asked, "If they had stayed together... would he have turned into the playboy he is, and would she have gone off the deep end?"  Deep stuff.

#58... "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz (2008)
Here's the word I use to describe this song:  Pleasant.

Its so pleasant.  It makes me smile, its peppy, its poppy, its happy, life is breezy easy wheezy beautiful and just... just so... pleasant.

I do dig me some Jason Mraz, though I like "The Remedy (I Won't Worry)" and especially "You and I Both", which I just discovered The Lovely Steph Leann had never heard... so guess what we are listening to right now, as the DVR is on pause?

#57... "Family Affair" by Mary J. Blige (2001)
Oh.  This song is called "Family Affair"?  I seriously thought it was called "Dance For Me" or "Let's Dance For Me" or something like that.  "Family Affair".  Well, now you know.

However... "Real Love" is the ultimate Mary J. Blige.  Ultimate.  That is one of my favorite 100 songs of all time.  This song?  Yeah, its kinda okay.

#56... "Party (up in here)" by DMX (2000)
Y'all gon' make me looz my mine... up in heh, up in heh
Y'all gon' make me act ah foo... up in heh, up in heh

Who doesn't love this song?  Well, okay, probably Amarylis by Morning (up from san antone).  And maybe Marky Mark.  And definitely The Lovely Steph Leann, who is trying to ignore the tv.

But I think its fun.

#55... "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers (2004)
Um... OKGo?  Panic?  TV on the Radio?  Same thing?

The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up... "Hey!  They play this in 'The Holiday'!"

#54... "Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones (2002)
Talk about peaceful.  Norah's voice is so sweet and beautiful and happy.  And so is this song.  I can hear this song anytime, and it makes me sway a little, light a candle and find a movie on The Hallmark Channel.

Norah Jones rulez.

#53... "All The Small Things" by Blink-182 (2000)
This was the early part of the decade version of the Panic/Killers/OKGo soundalikes... Blink-182, Sum 41 and a slew of other bands that are sorta punky, sorta poppy, sorta dorky and sorta ska-ish.  I mean, what can I say about this song... I like it when I hear, and now that the segment is over, I already forgot about it.

#52... "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean (2006)
Now, I'm in the minority of people that isn't all into Shakira, nor do I find her hips all that fascinating.  Yes, she can move them, but I know someone who can do belly dancing, and those hips are much better.  Um... should I have said that?  Never mind.

She looks like a hula dancer on a dashboard.

#51... "Pocket Full of Sunshine" by Natasha Bedingfield (2008)
If "Bleedin' Love" was the sad, melancholy song that stuck in your head for a few hours, this song is the peppy one that takes over your mind for flipping DAYS.

It will forever be associated with Emma Stone in "Easy A", a great, great film.

I gotta pocket gotta pocket fulla sunshine I gotta love and I know that it's all mine whoa... oh whoa oh...

#50... "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift (2009)
Here's my man card.  You'll be asking for it anyway when I tell you...

I FRIKKIN LOVE THIS SONG.  Probably in my Top Ten of the entire decade.

And the video?  Snobby Taylor vs. Nerdy Taylor... One of my favorite ten favorite videos of ALL TIME.

And I can sing.  Every.  Single.  Word.  of this song.  Cause I just dig it.

#49... "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga (2009)
I was wondering when we'd getting to Gaga.  This is a great song, a fun song, as long as you don't actually have to look at her.  I'm afraid if I saw this, or any, of her videos in their entirety, I'd have to seek help.

There are all these people trying to give their opinions on the artistry and genius of the video and how its done and the costumes and such, and I wonder if anyone gives thought to the idea that maybe, just maybe, Gaga is like, "Hey, what can we do that makes no sense whatsoever?  Like, the least amount of sense possible.  Let's do that."

So I choose not to watch Gaga videos.  There are some things you can't un-see.

#48... "Sex on Fire" by Kings of Leon (2009)
Oh yeah, its the Kings of Leon and ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

#47... "Lady Marmalade" by Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya and P!nk (2001)
First... I liked "Moulin Rouge" very much.  Second, this song has sentimental value because before we even started dating, one of the key things I learned from The Lovely Steph Leann was the exact pronunciation of "Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir), voulez vous coucher avec moi".  I couldn't say it for the life of me, and she graciously walked me through it.  Its the little things, really.

The third thing about this song that makes me laugh is at the end, when they are all singing, "Marma-laaaade.... marma-laaade..." and each chick gets her own little riff to let those vocals flow... Christina does it.  P!nk does it.  Mya does it.  And Lil' Kim?  All she gets out is "uh uh uh uh uh uuuuhh...."

And this video?  Its like the word "slut" threw up all over the camera.  Cause they are singing about hookin'.  Decide for yourself how you feel about that.

#46... "Picture" by Kid Rock with Sheryl Crow (2002)
How did this song even work?  Like, Kid Rock is this obnoxious rocker rapper dude that drinks beer and smokes crack and bangs chicks and don't give no rip... and Sheryl is a chick with a guitar.  And yet, this song works.  Works really, really well.

In fact, take out the fact that they played this song 3,877 times a day (in between "Bleedin' Love"), and the fact that they played this on rock stations and country stations and soft rock stations and everywhere else... take that out, and really... this is a great, great song.

#45... "Let Me Blow Ya Mind" by Eve feat. Gwen Stefani (2001)
This song is so stupid.

But I love it.

What can I say?  I dig me some Gwen Stefani.  Even that stupid Hollaback crap--I love it.  So, even though Eve is a no talent cricket biscuit, Gwen makes up for her completely.

#44... "Californication" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers (2000)
These guys have been around for 34 forevers, and will be around for another 34 more, I'm sure.  And this song is awesome.  And even after all this time, Flea is still an idiot.

#43... "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry (2008)
Ladies and gentlemen, America's favorite Pastor's Daughter Rocker Bad Girl!  Former Christian music singer (and she wasn't that great as Katy Hudson) joined the pop culture identity with this ode to the Lesbaterian Church.  Personally, not a fan of this song, lesbian themes aside.


#42... "Drops of Jupiter (tell me)" by Train (2001)
...this song I am totally all about.  Probably one of my 50 favorite songs of all time, and Top Ten of the Decade for me, easy.  Its so much fun to sing along to, and "Love, Pride, Deep Fried Chicken" was a serious consideration for the name of this here blog.

Now, I can tell you that I'm not sure what its actually about... but ya wanna know how I won The Lovely Steph Leann?  I promised her the best soy latte that she'd ever had... and me.  Too bad she doesn't like soy.

Man I love this song.

#41... "Trapped in the Closet" by R. Kelly (2005)
Where do I even begin with this song?  Like, seriously?  This song is so long, its has CHAPTERS... like, almost two dozen of them.  Its so bizarre, so weird, so rambling, so meandering, nothing but R. Kelly telling a story of infidelity and jail and the ghetto and other stuff from about 40 different perspectives, including the perspective of being trapped in the closet.

Its an R&B soap opera, and I don't say that as a joke.  And somehow, someway, I'm completely entertained by the entire thing.

By the way, Weird Al's "Trapped in the Drive Thru" is even better.

Welp, that's Part 1 of The Greatest Songs of the 2000s, at least according to Vh1... look out for Part II coming very soon, as soon as I watch it and blog it... and I hope for darn sure its got some better stuff than some of this junk we've seen already.  For every Coblie or "Drops of Jupiter", there are like, 5 M.I.A.s and a Mystikal.  Stay tuned.