Monday, November 30, 2009

Dahlonega Days & Thanksgiving Buffets

(note.... part one of this non-epic, yet still frankly enjoyable half-week vacation, the part that takes place at the home of Cabbage Patch Kids, can be found here)

So, after we left Babyland General Hospital (thankfully, I never found the nursing station...), we hopped in the car and headed up the road... down the road?  I still don't even know where we were... over to a town called Dahlonega.  My first thought was the Six Flags roller coaster, Dahlonega Mine Train, and who knew there was a real Dahlonega?  I didn't.

Dahlonega is one of those touristy type towns with a big central landmark (in this case, the Gold Museum), surrounded on all four sides, and then some, by antique shops, boutiques, small bookstores, cafes, ice cream parlors and the like.  Angie, the niece & nephew, Mama Ruthie, The Lovely Steph Leann and I parked on one of the side streets and found The Crimson Moon Cafe, which declares itself to be "The South's Most Intimate Music Venue".  No wonder... walk in, and there is a dining area with about 70 seats (while waiting for our food, I counted), and as you walk through the cafe, in the back of the room there is a door to a small coffee shop.

On the left side of the dining room, there is a small stage which would hold maybe a four person band--definately not a drum set.  The food was a bit overpriced, it perhaps relies too much on "quaint" to be a great restaurant, and on a random Thursday night when there is a blues or jazz band, or a decent cover band playing some good music, I'm sure a burger and chips and a big glass of something (I don't drink beer, but you can imagine it might work), there's probably not a better place to be in Dahlonega than The Crimson Moon.  For me, however, it was overpriced.  And burger was just eh. 

After lunch, we walked the block down to the little fudge shop, containing about all the chocolately goodness you can possibly imagine.  Cookies, brownies, fudge, taffy, candy, hard candy, soft candy, chocolate candy, tarts, M&M covered everything, sprinkle covered anything... The Lovely Steph Leann and I settled for a piece of fudge each (her the peanut butter, me the cheesecake), a couple of chocolate and white chocolate pretzels, and one each of the dark chocolate, milk chocolate and white chocolate covered cherries.   Its vacation.  We're not concerned.  Our diabetes might be, but we are not.

Outside, we met up with White Jada and her childrens, and the rest of the vacation group.  The Lovely Steph Leann and I split up from the others, and headed down the road to tour some antique shops and see the sights. 

Saw a group of these guys on the left here.  No joke, I swear I had no idea they still had black and white striped jumpsuits for prisoners.  I questioned if they were in some sort of costume, but there was a small group of them cleaning up, hanging decorations around the town and such.  Thought it was kinda fun.

We walked through some of the antique shops there in the downtown area, but really, none of them had the charm or flair that we found from the one in Panama City we always visit.  One of the more bizarre and odd finds, though, was this plate.  I missed it completely, but The Lovely Steph Leann called me over, pointed, and said, "Check that out."  I had to get a picture.
We did manage to find a few things of interest, though.  There was a little area with some older books, soft and hard back, and she found a pretty decent copy of "Fiery Cross" by Diana Gabaldon and I managed to procure a copy of "The Regulators" by Richard Bachman.   Also, The Lovely Steph Leann found the hat area, and tried on several.  Someone at my church, Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship, natch), once said, "No one wears a hat like The Lovely Steph Leann", and I deem it true. 

We walked around the square, taking in the sites and enjoying the shops and such, even stopping into the little General Store for some rock candy.  Matter of fact, while I type this, my piece lay uneaten on our kitchen counter... excuse me just a minute...

(currently nibbling on a piece bubble gum flavored rock candy from the general store in Dahlonega, Georgia)

(slowly realizing why its important to eat rock candy within 24 hours of buying it, as when I bit my piece of bubble gum flavored rock candy from the general store in Dahlonega, Georgia, it crumbled into a dozen pieces, spilling all over my lap, the recliner in which I sit and all over the floor)

(distressed because I'm having to pick up the pieces from the rug and floor, and of course, eating them because I don't want to waste it)

(further distressed because that last piece was not only spongy, it had a hair on it.)

Okay, I'm back.  Mmm mmm mmm, that was good rock candy. 

We returned to the cabin that evening, had some dinner--which was green bean casserole and poppy seed chicken, two of my favorites--and played some Mexican Train Dominoes with Bill, Jennifer, White Jada, Jake & The Lovely Steph Leann.  Sat up reading, and just felt great being lazy.

Thanksgiving allowed me to sleep in just a bit, and then we were on our way to some country club up... down... the road to have a big Thanksgiving buffet.  There are those who are traditionalists, and feel that Thanksgiving meal should be a meal cooked only at home, with turkey and ham and dressing and the like... but not me.  Yes, yes, at home is great.  But if someone else will do it for you, that's fine too. 

If you are keeping score at home, remember this is the Campbells, the Wests, the Smiths, the Youngs, all the children, and The Lovely Steph Leann and Yours Truly.

We took a few pictures in front of the rather large Christmas tree, had some fun family moments, I snuck around to the bar to watch a few minutes of whatever game was on--I don't remember, but its football, it doesn't matter--and finally, we were seated.  They brought me my Co-Cola in a goblet, I waited for the signal, and then I was up and in the line for some hearty Thanksgiving lunch. 

An on my plate, I managed to throw on some corn casserole, some creamed potatoes, about a half dozen chilled shrimp, some crab legs, a biscuit, a crouissant, some sweet potato souffle, some salmon, some stuff there on the right side that I cannot even remember eating (nor liking) and, after my plate was full, and I was at the end of the line with no more room on my own plate, I turned around to see The Lovely Steph Leann in another part of the line, and said, "Hey, The Lovely Steph Leann, please hand me another plate!"  She did, and I got some roast beast sliced and layed on it.  Calm down, calm down... she got to the line a minute or so after I did, and when I motioned for her to join me, she waved me off, not wanting to offend those ten people between she and I.   So that's an example of how great she is... she knew I'd need another plate, and when I did, I turned around, and there she is.

And of course, there is dessert.  There is always dessert.  After two plates of lunch (though no more crab legs--they were delicious, but crab legs are just too much work), I headed towards the superb dessert spread, gathering up a banana pudding parfait, a piece of pumpkin pie (covered in homemade whipped cream), a piece of pecan pie (covered in homemade whipped cream), a pecan pie brownie (covered in homemade whipped cream), a piece of German chocolate cake... and I think a cookie.  And I ate.  And I ate some more.  And it was awesome.  And just when my stomach knocked on my insides and said, "Hey, yo... uh... we're getting kinda packed down here, so you... uh... you may want to ease up, or even stop..."  To which I said, "Stomach.  Shut up.  Its vacation.  Its Thanksgiving.  You'll speak when you're spoken too.  For now, take what I give you."  And with that, I took another bite of the chocolate parfait I had just retrieved. 

Full, stuffed to the gills and knowing that deep down inside, my stomach is snickering, muttering, "Yeah, yeah... you wait... laugh now, go ahead...", we loaded up the vehicles and headed back to the cabin.  There were naps in all of our futures... and we took advantage.

Later that night, The Lovely Steph Leann played some rook with Jason and some others, I watched an excellent football game between Texas and Texas A&M, chatted with Randy, Tyler and White Jada and later that evening, after chowing on warmed up green bean casserole and poppy seed chicken, it all wound down to a game of Phase 10. 

I joined the game late, wanting to watch the end of the football game, and though I always finish any card game I start, I just couldn't finish... tired, full, sleepy, and knowing I had to get up the next morning (Black Friday!) to travel back to Birmingham, to go to work at The Happiest Place in the Mall later in the afternoon.

What am I thankful for?  Well, I'm thankful my own mom is still kickin' it, I'm thankful that my in-laws are such great people, and I'm thankful that I married The Lovely Steph Leann, who has such a great family.  I'm thankful that I'm blessed enough by God to have the resources to travel a little bit, and though its frustrating to have to join vacation mid-week, then leave before its over, its thankful that I have a job that I enjoy so much that forces me to do just that very thing. 

And I'm thankful for chilled shrimp, buffets that have crab legs, pecan pie (covered in homemade whipped cream) and poppy seed chicken. 

And thankful that you, dear Coffee Drinker, keep coming back.  Thank you.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Doin' the Cabbage Patch

Traditionally, the Campbell family heads to the beach for the week of Thanksgiving.  (In years of doing this blog, I can't remember if I've said this before, so forgive me if I have).  Usually, Yours Truly and The Lovely Steph Leann join with Tyler, the brother-in-law, Big Daddy Ron and Mama Ruthie (the parent-in-laws), Angie (the sis-in-law) and her husband Randy, and their two kids Nephew Benjamin and Niece Madeliene, load up on a Sunday, travel to Edgewater in Panama City Beach and part of the family stays in a cushy, top corner floor four bedroom condo, while another part of the family (Angie, Randy & the kids) stays in a cushy, top floor, just down the hall condo, and we spend the week enjoying the sun, being lazy, doing a little shopping, cooking Thanksgiving dinner, eating Thanksgiving dinner, eating Thanksgiving leftovers and then packing up on Saturday for a return home.

My first holiday with the Campbell family came in 2003, when we were in a Sandestin condo, but then I enjoyed the preferrable PCB place in 2004, 2005 and 2006.  We broke tradition in 2007 and went to The Most Magical Place on Earth for the week, and in 2008, due to taking a job with The Happiest Place in the Mall, I watched while the family rolled down to Panama City Beach on Sunday, and I had to join them Tuesday, only to come back on Thursday night, while the rest of the family returned a few days later. 

Here is the entire family, taken at the country club where we had Thanksgiving dinner (more on that later).  From left to right, Big Daddy Ron, Mama Ruthie, The Lovely Steph Leann, Yours Truly, Nephew Benjamin (in front), Angie, Niece Madeleine, Randy and Tyler

This year was different.  Big Daddy Ron and Mama Ruthie have been friends with the Young Family for a while, that being Bill & Terry, and The Lovely Steph Leann were friends with their kids Jason & Jennifer.  Terry lost a battle to cancer some time ago, as Jason married Jada (she's white, by the way.  you know you were asking) and Jennifer married Jake, and they all had kids.

This year, Bill, Jason & Jada and the kids and Jake and Jennifer and the kids had worked it out with The Campbell Family to meet up in a couple of cabins in Ellijay, Georgia.  I had no clue where this even was, and had I not heard The Lovely Steph Leann say, "it's north of Atlanta", then I would have been even further in the dark.  As it stands, The Youngs, The Smiths (that being Jennifer & Jake), The Campbells and The Wests (that being Randy & Angie and the kids) went to Ellijay, Georgia, on Monday, leaving Tyler and myself to come on Tuesday.  Tyler had finals at the U of A (they got 12) and I had to dish out some magic on Tuesday. 

Tyler and I left around 315p Tuesday afternoon, and utilizing the GPS, we traveled down I-20, through Atlanta, stopped at Waffle House for a large dinner (tried the buttermilk waffles for the first time... eh... terrible aftertaste) and arrived in Ellijay later that evening.  There are cabins all up and down the side of this small mountain, and the little truck on the GPS looked as if it were following a crazy squiggly line--which is essentially what we were doing.

Anyway, we arrived, unloaded and relaxed.  It was a quaint little cabin, on a riverside (the name of the cabin was "River's Edge", which only reminded me of that 1980s Keanu Reeves & Crispin Glover movie where one of them killed his girlfriend and asked his friends to help hide the body--Happy Thankgiving!) with several bedrooms (The Lovely Steph Leann & I took the basement room, while Tyler took the gameroom/den area just outside), several bathrooms, a front & back porch, and a fire pit area.

So, Wednesday morning, as I mentioned in the previous little snippet, I had to choose whether to go sit in a golf cart for five hours while everyone else played a sport that I have no interest in (why can't someone in this family say, "Hey, the guys are going to play tennis"?) or go visit a landmark that I have no interest in.  I chose the latter, mostly because later that day, we'd be touring Dahlonega, a little town with an antique square--and I kind of enjoy antiquin'...

And here are some snapshots of Babyland General Hospital in Cleveland, Georgia...

It kinda looks like a mansion, or a plantation house.  It might have been both, who knows.  Anyway, they were in another location until apparently last week, as as soon as you walked in, I smelled fresh paint.  The lady (nurse?) at the desk told us they had been in this building for about 4 days or so.  There was a huge open field in front of it, and I immediately thought, "Man, that would be awesome to play flag football on that field."
Poor Nephew Benjamin.  He's a Power Ranger, Ninja Turtle, Lego Bionicle, Ben-10 lovin' little 8 year old, and this was not the place he wanted to be.  He came knocking on our door early Wednesday morning, asking, "Can I go with you and Aunt The Lovely Steph Leann?  Mama and Madeleine are going somewhere I DO NOT want to go!"   I laughed and said, "Well, unfortunately, I think we are going there too.  But you can hang out with me, and we guys can make fun of everything."

If only that kid had a blog site.  Later, while in the midst of the doll horror, he rmarked, "I'm so ready to go.  There is NOTHING here for me, there is NOTHING here I want."  I said, "I feel ya, man, I feel ya." 

Lots and lots of celebrities have visited Babyland General, including, but not limited to, Robert DeNiro, Shari Lewis, Hugh Hefner, Pat Benetar, Steve Martin, Stevie Wonder (he didn't see anything he liked), Tony Danza, Buzz Aldrin, Tom Hanks, Patti LaBelle, Michael Jackson (he only wanted the boy dolls... what?  too soon?), George Bush, Bill Clinton and yes, Bo Duke himself, John Schneider.  And John Schneider's mullet.  There are at least a hundred 8x10 autographed photos on the wall, but I didn't see anything past 1998--and I only say 1998 because Michael Jackson had it dated on his photo.

Somehow, its not cool to visit Babyland General Hospital anymore. 

I came upon this kid on the shelf, and it frightened me slightly.  Perhaps that is because I'm in the middle of re-reading "'Salem's Lot" by Stephen King, and excellent vampire story. 

This is one of those dolls that, if you were trapped in Babyland General overnight, and the doors were locked, would come alive and lead the Evil Doll group in an effort to maim you.  Happy Thankgiving!

And another thing... these names!  "Brady Holden" is at least acceptable... but "Lon Anton"?  What about "Willodean Ruth"?  "Skye Joyce"?  I mean, I guess you could say that some of these kids get beat up by other Cabbage Patch Kids, but chances are, other Cabbage Patch Kids have terrible names too. 

I found this whole place kinda creepy.  Here is part of "The Cabbage Patch".  The heads, though you cannot see it in still photography, are rising a little up and down out of the cabbage leaves.  No kidding.  They come up a little, they fall, they come up, they fall. 
I came upon this little basket of what is supposed to be Christmas Ornaments.  Little plastic balls with babies inside.  But when I saw this, I didn't think "Christmas Ornament".  I thought "The Matrix".  Harvesting these kids, plugging them in and sucking the energy out of them. 

And the $9.99 tag on them was considerably cheap.  Some of these things were going for up to $79.99... some of them are handcrafted (by little Mexican and Chinese children trapped in hot basement, working for 3 cents per hour and a promise to bring their illegal family over, no doubt) and have soft, cloth faces. 

Some of them are only slightly handcrafted, and have hard, plastic faces.

All of them, however, are apparently "born".  While I was using the powder room, I heard the announcement, "Attention, if you would like to attend the birth of our newest Cabbage Patch Kid, please gather around the big tree in the middle of the room."  I thought, "Oh, this should be good." 

I joined the large group by the big tree, and witnessed as... well... I bore witness to a... a cabbage leave... giving birth... spitting out an actual doll.  It was kinda weird.  Then, she asked for names, and some kid yelled out "Zinc!"  The Lovely Steph Leann and Angie corrected me when I whispered "Zinc?", as they said, "No, Zeke".  The "attending nurse" asked for a middle name, and some other kid yelled "CJ!", so the newborn Cabbage Patch Kid became "Zeke CJ".  Only, it was in fact "Zinc", because I saw it on the birth certificate.  I told The Lovely Steph Leann, "When you want to know what NOT to name your kid, you come here."

Of course, when you can't find a good name, you can always go with a solid wrestler name.  This CPK got named "Keven Nash", which made me immediately think of Kevin Nash, part of the former tag team champs The Outsiders, co-founder of the nWo and then later, The Wolfpac (which had the coolest theme song for a faction in the history of the wrestling universe).  Anyway, I guess being named "Keven Nash" is better than being named "Diesel", or "Big Daddy Diesel".  Then again, that's kind of a cool name... Diesel $.  Not sure The Lovely Steph Leann would go for it, but hey. 

And finally, here's a cute little picture managed to take... not sure you can see it clearly, but let me describe for you what I saw.  I see these cute/creepy little Cabbage Patch Kid dolls, sitting side by side.  Now, most of these things look pretty similiar, but different color eyes and a different outfit can easily fool the common five year old into thinking his little Cole Jaxon is different from that other four year old's little Max Butch.  However, I spotted these two, looking exactly alike.  Both have big tags that say "Limited Edition", and both, in the bottom left corner, say "I'm One of a Kind!".  Do you know how many of these things I found, pink dress, brown eyes, baby rattle and such?  Fourteen.  Fourteen that are "One of a Kind".  I counted.  There might have been more.

Since this is already a long blog, I'll stop... I'll keep writing the rest of the weekend for your reading pleasure, and post it later...

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Holiday in Ellijay

I posted a few days ago a brief note that I would be in Ellijay, Georgia, somewhere north of Atlanta, and would be spending Thanksgiving Day.  After posting that, no less than five people either commented on Clouds, on Facebook or sent me a note telling me how they've been here, how their parents took them here, and how its such a lovely town to visit.  And you know what?  They are right.  It is a lovely little town. 

I will say with the backwoods location of the cabin I'm sitting in right now, I feel like I've heard "The Deliverance" banjos a few times.  Somewhere up the hill, across the river that our cabin sits beside, I think I saw Ned Beatty... I cannot tell you if he was squealing like a pig. 

Regardless, I can't share with you thoughts from the trip because I have pictures to go along with it that I want to post.  Put it this way... yesterday (Wednesday), I was faced with a decision . Either go golfing with the guys--and keep in mind, not only do I not golf, I have no interest in really learning mostly because 1) its too expensive, 2) I don't have time for it and 3) I would be afraid I would like it too much and would faced with reasons 1 & 2... or I could go with The Lovely Steph Leann, her mom, her sister, and niece Madeleine and nephew Benjamin. 

Where were they going?  To visit Babyland General Hospital, where... (wait for it... wait for it... waaaaiittt foooorrrr iiittt...) Cabbage Patch Kids are born.  And part of my interest in even going was simply because there would be a story to tell.  And I saw one being born, right out of a cabbage leaf.  And it was disturbing. 

More to come later.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


That's a town somewhere in Georgia... Ellijay.  Dunno where it is.  But that's where I'll be for Thanksgiving.  Got to tell you about "The Blind Side", "The Hurt Locker" and "Couples Retreat"... but... after Black Friday.  Black Magic(al) Friday. 

See you soon.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

N*Stync Presents... "Bye Bye Bye"

If you are reading this on Facebook, you'll want to click over to Clouds in My Coffee.  Otherwise, you'll miss the splendor.

Sometimes, you come across something that just has to be shared with the world.  The year was 2000, N*Sync was the biggest band in the entire world, and The Deuce was the most rockin' apartment in the whole, entire universe.

And, in our spare time, usually for broadcast during Wednesday night's middle school service, we made videos.  We did several, ranging from movie spoofs to musical bits to one where Mikey not only drove a fire truck, but he also threw the offering plate across the sanctuary like a frisbee.

But you have to see this one.  In order of appearance, its Shawn Sharp, Amy Dennis, Tom Johnson, Mikey & Yours Truly and Jason Lazzero.  Video work done by Jimmy Bowling.  Choreography & story outline done by Yours Truly.  Digital work & uploading by Shawn Sharp. 

I give you... "Bye Bye Bye".


If you can't see the video here, then you can click on the YouTube location

Random notes, just fyi...
  • Amy & Jason were both allergic to cats.  Since it took about three hours to shoot this, both were miserable by the end of the night due to the presence of Max & Fisher, the cats of The Deuce.  By the time Amy makes that walk down the hall towards the end, she's about to pass out.
  • Yours Truly looks angry here, but its really just a front for the video.  I'm doing some sort of animated hand motion thing... have no clue what that even is.
  • Mikey looks angry here because he really was angry.  Unsure if this was the "Post Susan Neese" period just kicking in or what, but he was not a happy guy.
  • Filmed entirely in The Deuce.  Notice all the VHS tapes atop and beside the big entertainment center. 
  • I tagged Mike Williams and Mike Brunson on this on Facebook, two Mikes that I know from entirely different contexts--however, both will recognize that green and white checkered couch. 
  • Finally, I've lost about six pints in tears from laughing so hard as I watch this.  We truly were something... well, something.
 Shawn did some work putting other videos in digital format, so I am sure those will have to come up soon too.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


A while back, I posted part of something I found on the Facebook site of my friend St. Francis, a list of random thoughts and ponderings that I found to be just heeee-larious.  Coffee Drinker Krista posted that the origin of these such thoughts came from the website "Ruminations", the site of comedian Aaron Karo. 

Karo developed an area where people can send these random thoughts, and other people can read them--and if you like them enough, you can declare them "gourmet", which is Karo's way of saying "this is awesome."

I will tell you that the site itself is not a bad site... it does have some Not Emmy Turnbow Safe language, but its very rarely anything than just worldy conversation, nothing dirty.  Now, I could tell you to go on over to that site and have fun reading, and you might do that, but let's be real... I want you to stay here.  Heck, I'm about half-a-thousand away from 30K, so I'd like to keep you on this very site...

So with that, I'll give you some of my favorite Ruminations (including some of my own that I posted and were listed as varying degrees of "gourmet"!).  They've also been cleaned up for everyone's reading--and you can copy and paste to your heart's content, just tell 'em which site (this one!) stole them from the other site (that one!)

  1. I fear the day Facebook decides to inform users of who has viewed their profile...and how many times
  2. I think my other three stove burners are becoming jealous of front-right
  3. Cell phones ruined pushing people in the pool
  4. If anyone found out the one password I use for everything I'd be royally screwed
  5. "I had to walk to school 40 miles in the snow... barefoot" was good in it's day. But imagine the sheer terror on your kid's face when you drop "When I was born there was no internet".
  6. Kids today will never experience the joy and excitement of hearing the sound of dial up internet actually connecting.
  7. Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos
  8. They say celebrities die in 3's. Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in an extra one COMPLETELY FREE
  9. I don't write on your facebook wall so you can comment on it. I write on your wall so you will write back on mine and make me seem more popular. Work with me here
  10. My GPS says "Estimated Arrival Time." I see "Time to Beat."
  11. Even into my 30s, I still will hold up both hands, index fingers up, thumbs pointed inward.  Oh, there's the "L", that one must be Left!
  12.  Every time I hear a recording of my own voice, I'm convinced that I would not be friends with me if I were someone else
  13. Kanye, how could you be so heartless?
  14. Once I notice the audio is not in sync with the person's lips on television, I can't focus on anything else.
  15. Our generation doesn't knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we're outside
  16. Ever notice that “I love you” and “Love ya” have completely opposite meanings?
  17. What is it that my computer is thinking so hard about during those spontaneous hourglass/rainbow spinning freeze-ups? I'd be so much more patient and understanding if the computer could just say, "Ya know what, I...I think I just need a minute."
  18. There's always that "What the...??" moment when you find out two people you know in really different contexts know each other. How could you possibly have met without my influence??
  19. On my days off I'm tempted to stop by work to show everyone how hot I am with normal clothes on
  20. I have a magical drawer in my kitchen full of things I can only find when I'm not looking for them.
  21. I'm terrified that I'm going to say something "sucks" in front of my children and they are going to ask "sucks what?" I'm not even sure I know that answer to that question.
  22.  The saddest thing I saw all summer was a diet cookbook left on the shelf halfway down the candy/chocolate aisle in Wal Mart. Someone lost all hope here
  23. They say money can't buy happiness but if you have enough money, there's a good chance you will never have to wake up before 10 AM again and that's good enough for me
  24. If your baby is too young to come to the door, she's too young to eat my candy. I know your tricks, fat mom.
  25. I hate when I have a stuffy nose because then I have to decide if I would rather breathe or eat
  26. Whenever I'm on Facebook and I see someone has "Live, Laugh, Love" or some other thoroughly exhausted euphemism under their favorite quotes, I immediately know that we will never have any kind of meaningful relationship whatsoever
  27. Nothing is more statisfying than your turn single blinking at the same rate as the turn single of the car in front of you for those two seconds that they match up
  28. I have yet to see a movie or TV show accurately depict anything near my experience in high school.
  29. The voice in my head I read your email with had a sarcastic tone and now I am mad at you.
  30. A quick question is rarely a quick question. I’m busy. Get away from my desk and Ask Jeeves.
  31. I will give you 2 seconds to figure out that you have the right of way before I take it from you.
  32. When I know I get to sleep in a few hours longer tomorrow, I end up staying up so late that I get even less sleep
  33. I'm never as scared of rulebreaking as when my iPod says, "Do not disconnect" while updating
  34. I hate that embarrassing feeling you get when you think you know someone, so you say hi. You realize it’s not the right person, but you already received that strange look from them wondering who you are. You apologize and walk away with your shame
  35. You know what? If I ever find myself in a room with an elephant, you can be pretty sure it's going to be the first thing I mention.
  36. The moment you realize “I need to buy a plunger”, its already too late
  37. I love waking up in the middle of the night and realizing I have hours left to sleep.
  38. The price I would pay for wireless or cordless earbuds increase everytime those earbuds are ripped out of my ears due to a cabinet knob or a high chair back I didn't see
  39. My MySpace page is like an old Gap credit card. I never use it, it has an address from three apartments ago, and it will probably lead to identity theft.
  40. I wish the check engine light in cars had a scale of 1-10, with 1 being "I'm kinda hurtin', but no biggie", and 10 being "Man, I swear if you don't get your happy tail in gear, you will be SOL out of luck in about 2 more miles".

Anyway, I hope you get a laugh out of the previous... I won't tell you which ones were mine, mostly because I want you to continue thinking I'm funnier than I actually am...

Sunday, November 15, 2009

The End of the World. Again.

I am imagining this conversation taking place, somewhere in Hollywood, maybe 2007 or so...

Hollywood Director Roland Emmerich:  Yas, yas, I need to uh... come up weeth a new movie.  I vant to to deestroy the planeet agayn...

Assistant:  Um, what about aliens?

Emmerich:  Nah, nah, I did that already.

Another assistant:  Oh, I got it, what about global warming?  That's a hot topic?

Emmerich:  Is good topic.  Global warming.  Yas, yas, we could do movie with George Bush and hurricane machine and he causes global warming.  But I did global warming movie already.

Another assistant:  What about a big lizard who comes and destroys the country?

Emmerich:  Is called Godzilla, and I did Godzilla.  I make'ah Matthew Broderick into action star.

Yet Another Assistant:  Oh, how about... cavemen?  That Geico Caveman has been around for like, ten years and...

Emmerich (cutting him off with a wave): Nah, nah, no more cavemen!  I deed cavemen!

The First Assistant:  Wait... Mr. Emmerich... what about... the Mayan prediction that the world will come to an end? 

Emmerich:  Mayan... prediction... world end?  Hmm... tell me more, First Assistant...

The First Assistant:  It says that in the Mayan civilization, they created the Mayan calendar, and in that calendar, it predicts that due to alignment in the planets that happens only once in ever 400,000 years, our planet will be destroyed.

Emmerich (rubbing chin):  Hmmm... what if sun put forth solar flares that boil the planet meedle?  I like it...

The Second Assistant:   Uh... but Mr. Emmerich... this "end-of-world" theory is really a Western idea, not a Mayan one. Mayans insist that the world will not end in 2012. The Mayans had a talent for astronomy, and enthusiasts have found a series of astronomical alignments they say coincide in 2012, including one that happens roughly only once every 25,800 years. Once every 25,800 years, the sun lines up with the center of our Milky Way galaxy on a winter solstice, the sun's lowest point in the horizon. The next time that will happen is on December 21, 2012; which happens to be the same day the Mayan calender expires. In addition to the Mayan calendar, the modern doomsday myth is bolstered several ostensibly scientific reasons for a disaster. Examples include a pole shift, the "return" of Planet X or the Sun's sinister counterpart Nemesis, a galactic, planetary, or other celestial alignment, global warming, global cooling, a massive solar flare, a new ice age, and so on. None of these have any basis in respected science. For example, the "galactic alignment" between the sun, Earth, and galactic center happens every December. The best alignment was reached in the 1990s and was accompanied by its own set of doomsday theories. Alignments since then have been increasingly poor.

Emmerich (waving him off):  Man made global warming have no science to back it up either, but audience make me millions from my movie.  I like this Mayan movie.  We make!

And thus, "2012" was born. 

The Lovely Steph Leann and I returned from our weekend-like excursion to Pensacola on Friday evening, ran some errands, unloaded our laundry and watched about 45 minutes of a Dateline NBC special, then The Lovely Steph Leann expressed her interest in going to see a movie.  Sometimes there are movies she/we want to see, and other times, she/we just want to get out of the house and see a movie.  Never mind was had seen "Couples Retreat" the night before (quite a funny movie, by the way), we wanted to just get out a see a flick.

We went through the list of movies, including "Paranormal Activity" (The Lovely Steph Leann: No.  I want to sleep tonight")... "Law Abiding Citizen" (Me: I want to see that and... crap!  It starts in 20.  We'll never make it)... "Men Who Stare At Goats" (Me:  I have heard that's a terrible film)... "A Christmas Carol" (The Lovely Steph Leann:  Not in the mood for that one)... and finally, "2012".  She piped up and said, "Ooh.. what about that?"  I was undecided, because I knew what it would be... but it did have John Cusack in it.  So, after doing one of those twenty second decisional debates in my head, I said, "Alright, let's do it!  Should be fun watching the world fall apart!"

The movie starts at 10:15p, and clocks in--before previews--at about 2 hours and 38 minutes.  This means we will be out late late. 

Essentially, it starts in the year 2009, with a scientist in Bangladesh who discovers that in just a few years, the sun will heat up the Earth's core, the Earth's surface will become unstable from the heat and the Earth's plates will shift.  And of course, everything will be destroyed. 

Unlike most other disaster movies, the President actually believes the American scientist, Chiwetel Ejiofor (he plays Dr. Adrian Helmsey here, but he was Denzel's homeboy in the New Dave100 film, "Inside Man"),  and he and his Chief of Staff (Oliver Platt) begin to deal with this global crisis... and they don't want the news to get out.  We see a montage of 2009, 2010 and 2011 and into 2012 as countries start to build something fancy to save part of the human race.  John Cusack is writer Jackson Curtis, who faces the danger along with his kids, his estranged wife and her new boyfriend--usually the "new man" is played as a jerkface, but here, he's refreshingly portrayed as a nice guy.  Oh, and somewhere in here, Woody Harrelson is a crazy mountain guy named Charlie who "saw it all coming, but no one believed me!" 

In other disaster movies, the tidal wave wipes out the countryside, or the bomb blows up an entire city, or Michael Moore does another movie, or any other number of disasters, it all hapens in one scene, and the survivors deal with the aftermath.  In "2012", the disasters happen one after the other all the way through the movie. 

Are there problems with this movie?  Absolutely.  In one scene, a guy is flying an old airplane, relying on his instrument panels to help him see through the smoke and fog--but if the Earth's surface plates are shifting to the point where the North and South poles are going to be relocated, surely those instrument panels are going to be shot to poo.  The sheer practicality of most of this movie is out the window, all common sense given way to lots of special effects of volcanos and California falling off into the ocean and lots of near-misses... there are at least a dozen times when Jackon Curtis and/or his family narrowly escapes flames or smoke or falling buildings or an old RV falling into a pit or hot molten lava or tremors and everything else.

Bottom line is... I enjoyed this movie more than I thought I would.  I hated "The Day After Tomorrow", as I thought it was preachy and stupid and just poorly done... and really so serious, with a "hey, wake up, we'd better do something about this!" message about it...

(Don't believe me?  Says the film's IMDB Page... "The Coming Global Superstorm", a non-fiction novel by Art Bell and Whitley Strieber, was used for reference... In keeping with the movie's ecological theme, Emmerich paid $200,000 from his own pocket to make the production "carbon-neutral" - the first of its kind in Hollywood - all carbon dioxide emitted by the production was offset by the planting of trees, and investments in renewable energy.")

"2012" isn't an Academy Award possibility by any stretch... but... its fun.  Its a popcorn film.  Though "Day After Tomorrow" has Emmy Rossum, a much hotter ingenue compared to Amanda Peet in "2012", I'm old enough to be a John Cusack guy over Tomorrow's Jake Gyllenhaal (though I do love me some Maggie).

Want something meaningful and thought provoking?  Run from "2012".  Want something silly, better than "Transformers 2: Revenge of the Wallet-Raiders" that you can much popcorn, eat Twizzlers and enjoy the North Pole relocating to Wisconsin?  "2012" might just be the movie for you.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Live From Destin

Coming to you from the home of Mike & Susie Fitzharris, with Susie being one of the Lovely Steph Leann's high school Besties.  We had to come down to Pensacola for The Lovely Steph Leann's job, as they send her down to the Pensacola location of her work once per month to do some work.   All I can say is, she's good at her job.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll have more to report this weekend from our coupla'days away--which we just don't get many of, unless we're going to Disney World.  Even then, we take people with us, so seldom is it just us.

But for now... here's some book stuff for you...

Three Books I Am Going To Read in a Row:

This is "The Big Book of Basketball" by Bill Simmons, also known as ESPN's The Sports Guy.  I read his first one several years ago, that being "Now I Can Die In Peace: How the Sports Guy Found Salvation Thanks to the World Champion Red Sox"... I've got the hardcover, and I'm probably going to get the paperback, because its updated.

By the way, I love trade paperbacks.  They are a little larger than regular paperbacks, they look good, and they aren't nearly as bulky as hardbacks.  Many of the books I buy, especially by Stephen King, are in trade... but some books I want to read now. 

And speaking of Stephen King, here's his latest, called "Under the Dome".   This book looks fascinating, and apparently, some people are relating it to "The Simpsons Movie", with the whole dome-on-town concept.  I mentioned this book to my friend MZ, and thats exactly what she said... "That sounds like 'The Simpsons Movie'!"  I had to tell her that King had been writing this book off and on for over 30 years.

The story is, one day a town is suddenly cut off from the rest of the world by a huge dome that sets down over a small Maine town.  And chaos ensues.  Can't wait.

Actually ordered this and above book on for $25.50.  "The Big Book of Basketball" was $16.50 and the new King novel was $9 with a pre-order, which I did.  Spend $25 and get free shipping.  Of course, the downside to free shipping is that you have to wait forever to get the book--mine is due for delivery on November 17th.

Here comes Sarah Palin.  I love Sarah Palin.  Don't care what you say, I think she's smarter than most of the Republicans that are out there today, and those of you who say, "She's crazy!" just haven't been paying attention--or paying too much attention to CNN and Obama-TV MSNBC.  And I'll end up reading her biography, "Going Rogue".  And I'll probably enjoy it.

Actually, I'll probably wait until I can get this on audio.  Hopefully, it will be read by the author.  That, I can dig.

According to an article on Fox News Online:

In Palin's "Going Rogue," Palin confirms reports of tension between her aides and those of the 2008 Republican presidential candidate, Sen. John McCain. The vice presidential candidate confirms that she had wanted to speak on election night, but was denied the chance and says she was kept "bottled up" from reporters during the campaign.

Palin also writes harshly of CBS anchor Katie Couric, whom she describes as "badgering" and biased. Palin's series of interviews with Couric were widely regarded as disastrous, leaving the impression of an ill-informed candidate who was unsuited for the job.

And, just a note on CNN, here's why they suck.  Last night, Carrie Prejean was on Larry King Live, and when Larry asked her a legitimate question about her past, she said, "That's very inappropriate, Larry."  They had a rough exchange, and she came off looking like an idiot.  Which she might be--listen, I supported her at the beginning through the whole pageant mess, but now she's just annoying--she came off looking stupid and like a moron.  And what did CNN do?  They flash a graphic on the screen that says, "PREJEAN ON SARAH PALIN:  I THINK SHE'D MAKE A GREAT PRESIDENT".  Really, CNN?  Was there a need for that?  That, CNN'ers, is why you are continually in last place in the news network races.

By the way, on a random note, did anyone else completely miss the fact that Hurricane Ida came through already?  I asked The Lovely Steph Leann a few days ago about Ida, and if it would impede our journey to the Florida Panhandle, and she said, "No."  And then today, she mentioned how it rained for about 28 straight hours the other day--that was Ida.  Had no clue.  I was still thinking it was in the Gulf somewhere.  I blame George W. Bush.

And finally, here's one I just finished.  "Native Tongue" by Carl Hiaasen doesn't deviate, plot set-up anyway, from most of his other books.  Hiaasen has lots of colorful characters he spreads out through the book, and you know somehow, someway, they are all going to cross paths at one point or another in a crucial plot point.   And, like just about all of his other books (might be all of them--I have only read four), the story takes place in Florida.
This one actually takes place close to Key Largo, at a Disney rip-off called The Amazing Kingdom of Thrills, and it involves steroid taking security guards, gun shooting baboons, mafia witnesses, mob hits, a professional golfer, a chick who plays Robby Raccoon, a former governor of Florida living in the woods wearing a panther tracking color, a chick who writes poetry for a phone sex line, and a protagonist who was hired because he writes great press releases.  Oh, and it centers around two rat-like creatures who may or may not be extinct, stolen by two burglers who may or may not be complete fools.  The book is funny, its fast paced, it does have lots of language, and was a breezy read. 

Alright, that's all I got for tonight.  Time to get The Lovely Steph to bed--she's snoozing on the couch, otherwise I'm pretty sure that Jimmy Kimmel Live wouldn't be on.  Not that I don't like Kimmel, but she has the remote.  She's sleeping on it.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

She Puts the "Lovely" in Lovely Steph Leann

Been a long day of making magic and then making coffee, so when I get home after a day of solid work, its always nice when The Lovely Steph Leann is still up. 

The Lovely Steph Leann is not a night person.  Well, that's not fair, she loves the night, she loves the sunsets, she loves laying on the couch watching "Drop Dead Diva" on Lifetime, or snoozing while "Clean House" is on the Style Network (she does love her some Niecy Nash) as the afternoon turns into evenings.  Bottom line is, she loves her sleep.  Its in her family. 

Her mom and dad are like that, and her brother, Tyler, is definately like that.  Once, coming out of Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship), he rode with us to lunch, which was about 2 miles away at Jim-n-Nick's BBQ.  He was asleep before we left the church parking lot, snored on the way there, and was fully awake and alert as we got out at the restaurant.  The Lovely Steph Leann is her brother's sister.

Sometimes days go by where we have a combined twenty minutes or less of any kind of coherent contact.  That is partly on me, as I do stay up later--after working from 8am to after 10p in two different jobs, especially I don't have to go to work in the morning (like tomorrow), I will stay up and write, catch up on reading, watch episodes of The Amazing Race & WWE: Raw (like tonight!) and other shows, and then enjoy sleeping in.   Point is, we don't spend a ton of time together.

Which is why when I do come home, when she is up, when I find her checking her email or watching tv, it makes me happy.  This means we can sit and chat, even for just a few minutes.

One of the best things about being married... well, besides the obvious... are those random, we're-married-but-we're-also-best-friends-conversations.  And tonight, I found her checking her email on the laptop upstairs in our guest room, so I came in, kissed her hello and plopped down on The Futon.

(Why is it The Futon, and not just the futon?  If you knew what we paid for this thing, you'd capitilize it too)

Anyway, she slowly swerved her chair around, threw her foot up onto my knee and wiggled her toes in a "yep.  rub 'em" fashion and smiled.  And, we chatted.  Talked about work.  Talked about Disney and our February trip.  Name dropped a few of our friends.  Some small talk, some important, some not so important.  As she talked, I just leaned my head back on The Futon, and admired The Lovely Steph Leann.  It was just another reminder of how pretty... how lovely... she is.

She cleaned the absolute heck out of The Cabana this weekend, so she was due a footrub... not that I am very good at it, but I tried... for a minute anyway.  We had a baby shower for The Dainty Steph Halpert, and, like always, we/she leaves much of the cleaning until the last few days.  Then, its a mad dash like a Lysol Tornado to get The Cabana in fresh working order.   Notice I said "she" cleaned the house and not "we".

Ah, you think I'm a bad husband for not helping more? Perhaps.  But I'm also smart.  Not smart, as in, "haha, look at what I got out of", but smart as in "yeah, I know how not to get yelled at by a stressed out wife".  As in, I move out of the way until I'm told what to do.  As in, I went and got some baby shower supplies, I went and got lunch, I wrapped a gift, I moved some stuff, I put some stuff back, I just did what I was told.  So much easier.  I've learned the hard way that to just start doing stuff without consulting her plan for tackling The Cabana's cleanliness is just plain foolishness.  So, I don't. 

Having said that, I'll do whatever she asks... I've wiped down shelves and mopped floors and dusted this that and the other and though you might think, "Why don't you just take it upon yourself to do these things without her asking you?"  Again, its easier to not screw things up, then have her get upset at me that not only "do I have to do my original stuff, now I have to re-do what you messed up."  See, its just easier.

So, anyway, I just thought I'd take a minute or two and just discuss The Lovely Steph Leann... cause she deserves it.  I mention her alot, but never get to talk about her much. 

One of the fun things about The Lovely Steph Leann, regarding this blog is actually her name "The Lovely Steph Leann".  There are so many people out there that read this blog that only know the woman who lowered her standards enough to marry d$ as "The Lovely Steph Leann".  People have even mentioned her by that full moniker when chatting on Facebook or elsewhere.  "Tell The Lovely Steph Leann I said hello!" or "I liked what The Lovely Steph Leann said in that thing she wrote" and "How is The Lovely Steph Leann?" are statements I've all heard more than once. 

Wednesday we take one of those fun road trips, this time to Pensacola.  I'm sure I'll talk more about it after its over... but its one of those four hours in the car rides, just she and I, and if we didn't like each other, it would be miserable.  But we not only love each other, we like each other.  So it should be a hoot. 

Why all this tonight?  You know... just sayin'.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Decade's Best Videos, Part IV

Alrighty... before we get all serious and discuss health care--which I think we'll just have to do soon enough--I wanted to continue my list of the Top 20 Videos of the Decade... here's what we counted down so far:

#20... "Fallin' For You" by Colbie Caillet
#19... "Stand Up" by Ludacris & "Without Me" by Eminem
#18... "What Goes Around... / ...Comes Around" by Justin Timberlake
#17... "The Story" by Brandi Carlile
#16... "Say It Right" by Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland
#15... "Cry Me a River" by Justin Timberlake
#14... "Behind These Hazel Eyes" by Kelly Clarkson
#13... "You & I Both" by Jason Mraz
#12... "Dilemma" by Nelly ft Kelly Rowland

And one out of our Top Ten of the Decade, its our first country video... I love the Dixie Chicks, and this was difficult, because "Cowboy Take Me Away" is one of my favorite Chick songs... but that didn't mean the video was great.  I looked for their best video, and there was no doubt... starring Lauren Holly and Dennis Franz, at #11 is The Dixie Chicks with "Goodbye Earl"

Once again, though, its listed in YouTube as unavailable for posting on random websites.  I still think its just a travesty, me not being able to steal videos and post them for my own personal gain.

So if you want the video for "Goodbye Earl", then click here for the link.  By the way, do you like how I'm posting this pic on the side, with text wrapped around it?  Yeah!  I just figured this out!  Go me! 

At #10, starting our Top Ten for the entire decade, its a revealing, fascinating study in money and money spent.  Sarah McLaclan, who has made a billion videos, one of which had her rolling around in a tub after she chided a young Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera for being too 'sexy' in their own videos.  It's "World on Fire"

At #9... its a great video that blows me away for one single reason... its done in one single take.  One.  Single.  Take.  Perhaps they did it 49 times before doing it right, but its one seamless camera shot, its a catchy tune and you probably heard it on an iPod commercial.  Here's Feist with "1 2 3 4"

And at #8, its one of the cutest videos ever. Back when American Idol was at its zenith in... 2006?... they had this cute little song called "Bad Day" by this unknown--who still kinda is--named Daniel Powter. And the video is just great... a boy, a girl, an umbrella, a couple of markers and two bad days.

Hopefully it will come, and pardon the weird shapes.

Coming soon... #7 through #4... then the Top Three Videos of the Decade...

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Pro Choice Turned Pro Life

From Fox News--I thought it was a great story worth a read...

Abby Johnson, 29, stands outside a Planned Parenthood clinic in Bryan, Tex., alongside Shawn Carney of the Campaign for Life. Johnson quit after watching an ultrasound of an abortion.
The former director of a Planned Parenthood clinic in southeast Texas says she had a "change of heart" after watching an abortion last month — and she quit her job and joined a pro-life group in praying outside the facility.

Abby Johnson, 29, used to escort women from their cars to the clinic in the eight years she volunteered and worked for Planned Parenthood in Bryan, Texas. But she says she knew it was time to leave after she watched a fetus "crumple" as it was vacuumed out of a patient's uterus in September.

'When I was working at Planned Parenthood I was extremely pro-choice," Johnson told But after seeing the internal workings of the procedure for the first time on an ultrasound monitor, "I would say there was a definite conversion in my heart ... a spiritual conversion."

Johnson said she became disillusioned with her job after her bosses pressured her for months to increase profits by performing more and more abortions, which cost patients between $505 and $695.

"Every meeting that we had was, 'We don't have enough money, we don't have enough money — we've got to keep these abortions coming,'" Johnson told "It's a very lucrative business and that's why they want to increase numbers."

A spokeswoman for Planned Parenthood told that it offers a range of services at it 850 health centers nationwide, providing pregnancy tests, vaccinations and women's health services, "including wellness exams, breast and cervical cancer screenings, contraception, and STD testing and treatment."

"Planned Parenthood's focus is on prevention," wrote Diane Quest, the group's National Media Director. "Nationwide, more than 90% of the health care Planned Parenthood affiliates provide is preventive in nature," explaining that a "core component the organization's mission is to help women plan healthy pregnancies and prevent unintended pregnancies."

But Johnson said her bosses told her to change her "priorities" and focus on abortions, which she said made money for the office at a time when the recession has left them hurting.

"For them there's not a lot of money in education," she said. "There's as not as much money in family planning as there is abortion."

Without a doctor in residence, she said, her clinic offered abortions only two days a month, but the doctor could perform 30 to 40 procedures on each day he was there. Johnson estimated that each abortion could net the branch about $350, adding up to more than $10,000 a month.

"The majority of the money was going to the facility," she said.

Johnson said she never got any orders to increase profits in e-mails or letters, and had no way to prove her allegations about practices at the Bryan branch. She told that pressure came in personal interactions with her regional manager from the larger Houston office.

But she said she got involved with the clinic "to help women and ... [do] the right thing," and the idea of raking in cash seemed to go against what she felt was the mission of the 93-year-old organization.

"Ideally my goal as the facility's director is that your abortion numbers don't increase," because "you're providing so much family planning and so much education that there is not a demand for abortion services.

"But that was not their goal," she said.

A spokeswoman for Planned Parenthood refused to answer questions about Johnson's accusations, but released a statement noting that a district court had issued a temporary restraining order against the former branch director and against the Coalition for Life, an anti-abortion group with which Johnson is now affiliated.

"We regret being forced to turn to the courts to protect the safety and confidentiality of our clients and staff, however, in this instance it is absolutely necessary," said spokeswoman Rochelle Tafolla.

It is unclear what made Planned Parenthood seek the restraining order. Johnson said she did not intend to release any sensitive information about her former patients at the clinic.

A hearing is set for Nov. 10 to determine whether a judge will order an injunction against Johnson and the Coalition for Life, which has led protests outside the clinic and joined her in a prayer vigil there last month.

Johnson hasn't found a job since she quit on Oct. 6, but she said she's enjoying the time off to be with her 3-year-old daughter.

"It's been great just to spend some time at home and get a break," she said.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

More Timberlake, More Musical Fun, More Videos of the Decade

By the way, I'm 2 people shy of the 100 Mark on the Clouds in My Coffee Facebook Group. Have you signed up?

By the way (part 2), if you are actually reading this on Facebook, you'll want to go to the original Clouds in My Coffee website, because videos don't show up on Facebook.

Alrighty... we're doing the Clouds Countdown on my favorite videos of the decade, and just a recap, #20 was "Fallin' For You" by Colbie Caillat, #19 was a tie between "Without You" by Eminem & "Stand Up" by Ludacris, #18 was "What Goes Around ... / ... Comes Around" by Justin Timberlake, #17 is "The Story" by Brandi Carlile and #16 was "Say It Right" by Nelly Furtado. See #20 here, and see #19 to #16 by clicking here.

At #15, its what I consider Part I (with "What Goes Around... /... Comes Around" being Part 2) of the best video "Forget You!" combo of all time. To Britney, Justin says, "Hey. Check it. You're absolutely nuts. People think you are a freak show. Me? I'm not only loaded, chicks dig me like crazy--heck, K-Dub loves me more than she loves her sister--and even though I was in a boy band, I'm still FRIGGIN COOL!!!"

Probably not Emmy Turnbow Safe, here's "Cry Me a River" by Justin Timberlake.

Here's a video that perhaps I like just as much for the song as I do the video--the song, after all, was #24th in the 100 Coolest Things of 2005... I like the video because its aggressive, its passionate and Kelly Clarkson simply throws down in a wedding dress.

My 14th favorite video of the decade is "Behind These Hazel Eyes" by Kelly Clarkson--once again, unavailable to post here, so click here for the YouTube link to the video.

Here's one I discovered sometime last year, from a song I discovered sometime last year. I've grown to appreciate Jason Mraz over the last couple of years both as a singer and a songwriter--for anyone who can actually sing successfully the second verse to "The Remedy", I commend you.

My vote for my 13th favorite video of the decade is "You and I Both" by Jason Mraz. Its a fun, light song and a silly video with bank tellers and managers dancing around, and somehow, Mraz getting arrested at the end, yet its still a hoot. Enjoy.

And finally, for this post, here's my 12th favorite video of the decade, from one of my favorite hip-hop songs of all time...

This one actually might be Emmy Turnbow Safe, with a few exceptions. Anyway, I love the song, and I love the story the video tells, Kelly Rowland is by far and away the hottest of the Destiny's Children and the whole thing is done great.